Sidestream

Self-Conflicting Conflicts

2009-07-01T21:59:00.002+08:00

I have to remember that during these days, what I think and feel clash with what I want and say. Conflicts within the self are supposedly the easiest to solve logically. But as per experience, this is the most difficult battle to win. Most especially if we're not really sure or confident if we should go with the "think and feel" route or the "want and say" one.

Losing weight + Fate/stay night 24

2009-06-28T22:38:00.004+08:00

Wow. I hit a record low of 121.0 lbs. It would've been really good if I was on a weight loss program, but I'm supposed to be GAINING weight. Sheesh. Anyway...

On some random note, in relation to some of the things happening in my life, I found the answer in FSN ep. 24.

"There are some things that are beautiful because one cannot possess them."

And uh... Rin's still hot.

Tuned to a Different Station

2009-06-25T02:30:00.003+08:00

Tuned to a Different Station
Dogs

Say "Hello," man you know she's great
I do all that I can though I somnambulate
I'm alright

I've been governed by a lover that I never could alter
Convinced I'd discover a new world order of light

It goes dark
It goes dark
It goes dark

I suffer from a lack of concentration
I just can't seem to concentrate
Still got faith in my generation
I hope you're coming and won't be late
My brain's just tuned to a different station
My brain's all tuned to a different state
And I miss you
I miss you
I miss you

Say "Hello," man you know she's great
I do all that I can though I somnambulate
I'm alright

I got something over here, something over there
Oh, it's lucky we can breathe 'cause there's something in the air tonight

INTARWEB

2009-04-27T07:23:00.003+08:00

I'm finding it more and more difficult to catch up with things online. Back then, I just didn't care. But now, I feel like I missed out on the "sharing" part.

There's Blogger, LiveJournal, Friendster, Multiply, Facebook, Plurk, Twitter, DeviantART... I haven't even mentioned those sites I registered to just to reserve my name there. HECK! I haven't even mentioned GAMES in here yet! There are tons of MMOGs now. And that aside, there are even MORE game networks out there; the PlayStation Network, Games For Windows, XBox LIVE, and tons of others! I even forgot all about the other blogs and whatnots that I registered with! I remember 1up.com (supposedly a blog for gamers, or at least that's how I was invited to join) and then I forgot all about it the second I closed my browser and continued playing or working or doing whatever years ago. Whew!

And then there's YouTube, imeem, eBay, TipidPC, and TOOOOONS of forums on the non-blog/log-on-to-check-whats-up-every-2-minutes category of sites.

Major social lag here...

It's a good thing though that Plurk integrates with Friendster/Multiply (not that I care for those) and Facebook/Twitter (weeeeell, maybe). And Facebook with YouTube, and other inter-network and inter-site criss-crossing and all this and all that. Sleepy.

Creative Zen Stone 1GB

2009-03-18T16:41:00.000+08:00

I bought a Creative Zen Stone 1GB to replace my iPod Shuffle that just passed away last night. At first, I was disappointed that the only color that was available on stock was FINK. I scoured the whole mall (SM City North EDSA Annex) for ANY Creative players (just to do the shotgun -> sniper thing) but there was nobody who was carrying Creative MP3 players anymore. So, I went in and bought the thing, which was actually cute.

I was also disappointed that the boxed was already opened already. Of course, the box already showed signs of age since it was the last available Zen Stone on display and on stock in the whole mall. I was also disappointed that it didn't work on the get-go. I had to connect and reconnect the Stone a few times only to find out that "The file or directory is corrupted and unreadable." Oooookay... I did the regular thing to format the drive, but Windows would hang up when you right-click on the drive letter. So I resorted to the good ol' command prompt to format the thing and voila! I transfer a random MP3, tested it out (even if it was only charged/connected for less than 10 minutes) and was very contented with the fact that it was able to do its given purpose in life - to play music.

iPod Shuffle: R.I.P.

2009-03-18T05:28:00.002+08:00

My iPod Shuffle (G1, 1GB) just died. I bought it around July 2004. A good 4+ years for a flash drive/MP3 player is very good for me already, but it's still sad. It's been my companion in a lot of stuff. It's been with me with ups and downs. And it's not like it just died like most flash drives do where the memory just suddenly "dies". I kinda performed euthanasia on this one.

The small soldered part of the headphone jack to the mainboard started becoming loose by December of 2008. I couldn't really get a small enough soldering iron for it so I was contented with how the left side of the sound kept going out. It got degradingly worse until I found it very irritating to be minding my Shuffle almost 20x per song (about every 3 seconds per song or something). It was driving me nuts.

I found a disassembly set of instructions over at www.ifixit.com but I failed with the part where you push the earphone jack to push the whole framework out of the casing. Apparently, the case was too stuck with the framework to move it in any way. Blah blah blah.

I've been so used to having music anywhere I go. I don't really know what to do without it. I had 2 generations of portable Sony MiniDisc recorders (MZ-R30 and N707) both of which I loved really well back then. The MZ-R30 was the smallest portable MiniDisc recorder back in 1999 as published in the Guinness Book of Records '99. I was so proud of it back then. Recording capabilities, on-the-fly thingies and whatnots.

I don't know. So many things happening in my life and blah blah blah. Still, thanks. ^_^

RO Diary

2009-03-08T05:58:00.000+08:00

March 8, 2009 @ 5:58
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 99/50
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - High Priest - Lv 75/44 - 41.6%/42.6%
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 70/23 - 86.1%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 65/32 - 62.0%

So many things

2009-03-06T07:14:00.000+08:00

So many things to learn. So many things to read. So many Anubises to kill! hahaha... Just kidding. I know... I don't have a job. People say I'm wasting my time, but some people tell me they're envious of me. It actually depends on your perspective. A lot of people who don't have work are clamoring for anything that's considered "work". But a lot of people who DO have work are complaining that they're dumped with so much stuff that's normally not humanly possible to accomplish.

My point is that I don't know if it's such a good thing to still be this enthusiastic and passionate about a LOT of stuff (and I do mean, a LOT) even when I don't have "work" now. Basically, I'm a freeloader right now. Many people find that extremely boring and stupid. But I'm so excited about a LOT of stuff right now that these things are causing me to LACK sleep (note: difference between "lack of sleep" and "time of sleep").

I want to read books. I want to read blogs. I want to read online articles. I want to watch movies. I want to play games (Ragnarok Online, O2Jam, fighting games - I miss my Sega Saturn controller, and racing games - I miss my MOMO racing wheel). I want to make music (woohoo FL Studio days). I want to spend time with friends I've kind of been distant from. I want to watch Discovery Channel-type videos. I want to study (school). I want... so many things. And this is just like one of those times when I think sleep is just a waste of time (yes, people miss THIS part when they're actually lacking a lot of sleep time haha).

Brrr brrrr brrr wakey wakey!! Brr brrr brr sleepy sleepy!

RO Diary

2009-03-06T03:16:00.000+08:00

March 6, 2009 @ 3:17
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 99/50
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - High Priest - Lv 73/42 - 2.7%/46.0%
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 70/23 - 86.1%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 65/32 - 62.0%

RO Diary

2009-03-04T05:10:00.000+08:00

March 4, 2009 @ 5:11
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 99/50
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - High Priest - Lv 67/1 - 75.6%/0.0%
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 70/23 - 61.9%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 65/32 - 1.0%

Yippee!! Warmth became a High Priest already!

RO Diary

2009-03-03T06:42:00.000+08:00

March 3, 2009 @ 6:42
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 99/50
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - High Acolyte - Lv 61/45 - 24.1%/1.1%
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 70/23 - 49.8%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 64/32 - 67.9%

Really tired and sleepy. A few thousand more Soils to kill for Warmth to get to High Priest.

RO Diary

2009-03-02T06:39:00.001+08:00

March 2, 2009 @ 6:36
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 99/50
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - High Acolyte - Lv 51/37 - 37.2%
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 70/23 - 37.7%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 64/31 - 34.6%

I made Warmth go through the transcending process already. Darned major error. Warmth died while she was in Louyang with a mercenary while she was just level 8/8 as a High Novice at 1:49am. It drastically (that's an understatement) slowed down the exp rate. According to previous experiences by boosting people who've gone through this one, I should've been level 50-something by the time my mercenary's time limit ended (2:30). Sheesh. It's now 6:30 and Warmth is just level 51. Darn it. I'll never make that mistake again.

RO Diary

2009-03-01T06:22:00.000+08:00

March 1, 2009 @ 6:23
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 99/50
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - Priest - Lv 99/50
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 70/23 - 37.7%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 64/31 - 34.6%

Viper_A just turned 99 at 6:08 of March 1, 2009. haha I'll be waiting for Bernadeth before I have Viper_A transcend. In the meantime, I'll try saving up for the transcending of Warmth first. Whew!

RO Diary

2009-02-23T06:11:00.000+08:00

February 23, 2009 @ 6:11
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 95/50 - 72.7%
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - Priest - Lv 99/50
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 69/23 - 82.9%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 62/31 - 9.0%

Wow, Carrie's exp moved! By two levels! And I completely forgot to let her do the Alberta Delivery Quest for 2 days too! Bernadeth's characters have moved steadily because of the Alberta quests. Viper_A has started moving because of the level 8 Spear Mercenary. Pierce away! He frequently runs out of SP in a mob situation, though.

Wishes and contradictions

2009-02-21T04:45:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, we just have to realize that we get what we want. You know those movies where there's somebody who grants wishes and grants them in a sarcastically deadly method? Well, this is certainly like that.

I just have to accept the fact that since I don't want small talk and I don't really want "acquaintances" if they're not going to be friends, I got exactly that. I don't consider myself a killjoy, but some people think of me that way. If really wanted to be a killjoy, I CAN be one. I'm just saying I'm not yet exerting any effort in it.

Is it my mistake to be silent in a group conversation when I'm not genuinely interested in the topic? I mean, it shows. Or at least someone told me before that my lack of interest shows a lot despite my best efforts to give out an enthusiastic "oh wow, really?" interest in something. I know, I know... I'm not really a good person to talk to. I'm not someone who can handle conversations. I don't know why. I have a lot of things to say; a lot of truthful things to say, but I'm afraid that people might take offense in it even if they say, "No, it's ok." I think it's because I'm not good with flattery. I don't say anything that's just to make somebody feel good; and I sometimes speak my mind brutally frank (in an ironic attempt to be as gentle as possible).

But to the closest friends I have (and to those I ever had), they like my company very much. I like their company same. I openly say these things here because my closest friends are very much unlike me (if that's what you're thinking that my closest friends are almost like me). They're not Internet-dependent. They don't even know what difference "online" and "IRL (in real life)" is because to them, the Internet is just a tool to search for something and IRL stuff is well, the ONLY life. I can talk to my closest friends for hours without boredom from either side. The only problem is... IRL stuff has gotten in the way again. I lost most of them (if not all) already, AGAIN.

We contradict ourselves this way. We want close friends, but we complain if we ONLY have close friends (a very few). We want our online and real lives to be as separate as possible, but we want IRL friends to know of our stuff online and the other way around.

Heck, I find myself to be a contradiction as a whole (especially when I'm in a group). I say something, make a comment, crack a joke, laugh with the group and then when my expectations aren't met, I remind myself to shut up because it's not my place to be talking anyway. It's a repetitive and never-ending process for me everytime I'm in a group (especially during dinners and lunches where one has no choice but to BE there). Sorry.

More IRL stuff

2009-02-20T17:11:00.000+08:00

I've been going slow with my online thingies these past few days, particularly my RO levelling spree. But at least I'm getting to do a lot more IRL stuff (like cleaning files, my room, classes, etc)

I just wanted to blog how much I LOVE this track by Yuzo Koshiro from the Wangan Midnight Maximum Tune 3 OST entitled "Control Your Body". Speaks so much about my condition today of which I haven't been consistent in doing some mini-workouts of my own (among other things). So yeah. There.

Backlog slowly worked to finish

2009-02-19T04:12:00.001+08:00

I just finished another set of backlog of new music (new since the whole of 2008). I just got to organize the albums and the singles into their proper folders. Yeah, I'm kind of overly obsessive with my data. :P

I know I also finished a lot more. I just wasn't able to play RO (except for WOE and that cool new Alberta Delivery Quest, repeatable). I don't feel like updating my RO Diary for now. Probably tomorrow. haha

RO Diary

2009-02-18T05:40:00.001+08:00

February 18, 2009 @ 5:41
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 95/50 - 5.8%
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - Priest - Lv 99/50
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 68/23 - 83.1%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 60/31 - 29.6%

RO Diary

2009-02-17T06:48:00.001+08:00

February 17, 2009 @ 6:49
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 94/50 - 91.3%
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - Priest - Lv 99/50
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 68/23 - 83.1%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 60/31 - 29.6%

RO Diary

2009-02-16T18:51:00.000+08:00

February 16, 2009 @ 18:51
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 94/50 - 81.4%
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - Priest - Lv 99/50
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 68/23 - 83.1%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 60/31 - 29.6%

RO Diary

2009-02-16T14:04:00.001+08:00

February 16, 2009 @ 14:04
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 94/50 - 68.4%
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - Priest - Lv 99/50
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 68/23 - 83.1%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 60/31 - 29.6%

RO Diary

2009-02-15T05:19:00.003+08:00

February 15, 2009 @ 5:20
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 94/50 - 46.5%
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - Priest - Lv 99/50
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 68/23 - 83.1%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 60/31 - 29.6%

It's kind of fun knowing members of the guild one by one. I first spent sleepless nights playing and chatting with Ernest (who practically pushed Warmth to 99). Next was Jansen (who levelled with Viper_A and who I sometimes boosted with Warmth). And now it's Von. I think I spent 2 nights each knowing them. We had a good balance of playing and chatting. We almost never realized the exp rate anymore. Well, except for Von who was already falling asleep while playing haha...

It's not like I intentionally switched to another person after 2 nights. Ernest was kind of just, absent after that. And then a while ago, Jansen was... almost the same like that. And then a while ago (about 2am), Von asked me if I was doing anything and if I wanted to go levelling. Talk about "coincidence".

Feb 8-12 was spent with Ernest (with siobe, Jer, Von, Dreb, Fyre, and Kenf? backing him up with the boosting).
Feb 13-14 was spent with Jansen while we tried to level his Assassin Cross with Viper_A and while Warmth boosted his High Wizard.
Feb 15 was with Von while we levelled his Alchemist with Viper_A.

I just find it weird that things don't overlap. I don't know if that's good or bad or for who.

RO Diary

2009-02-12T07:30:00.004+08:00

February 12, 2009 @ 7:30
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 94/50
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50
Warmth - Priest - Lv 99/50
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 68/23 - 83.1%
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 60/31 - 29.6%

Warmth finally turned 99!!

Thanks and shout-out go to siobe, ate shena, Souls, Reikouha Raizen, ~Fyre~, Malambot, Micah Cyprus (some of which are the same people just using different characters haha). Thank you!

It only took from 6am to 7am to get Warmth from 74% to level up!! My Advanced Field Manual (2x exp) expired somewhere around 92%. Whew! Thanks, guys!

Re-edited the FSN wallpaper

2009-02-11T18:16:00.003+08:00

I just finished re-editing the custom made Rin Fate/stay night wallpaper for the visual novel. I made her sit on a marble stone with the FSN logo engraved on it. It felt so awkward that Rin was sitting on... nothing.

The link to the wallpaper is still the same as before; found here - Fate/stay night.

Oh yeah. I forgot to put it in the credits, but I just got the image of Rin there from someone called "saber". saber's site is located here - http://saber.anime-wallpapers.com. I don't know if saber was the one who drew that image of Rin though. I don't even know if it was official art. But this has got to be my favorite rendition of Rin.

RO Diary

2009-02-11T08:41:00.004+08:00

Heck, and I'm STILL not asleep. Anyway, I just remembered to update my so-called RO Diary.

February 11, 2009 @ 8:42
Viper_A - Priest - Lv 94/50
Mei Mei - Crusader - Lv 99/50 - turned 99 on January 18, 2009
Warmth - Priest - Lv 98/50 - 52.0%
Katarn - Alchemist - Lv 68/22 - ???
Carrie - Blacksmith - Lv 60/32 - ???

Viper_A has been stuck in level 94 since Bernadeth and I stopped playing together (hopefully only as a temporary status).
Mei Mei turned 99 last January 18. I wasn't able to take a screenshot of when she was a Novice. First recorded screenie was on December 27, 2007 - she was level 68 then. I have no plans of letting her transcend yet, for once she transcends, that's another transcendental levelling spree.
Warmth, on the other hand, was just level 82 last January 19. And almost a month after, she's already level 98. That's got to be a record holder for me. haha

My plan is to let Warmth transcend first, and then when she gets to a high enough level for boosting or tanking, I'll have Mei Mei go through the transcending process (or maybe after I leech Viper_A to 99-ness). Oh boy... LONG process.