Maggie's Mind

Sticky Situation

2009-07-18T08:45:00.007-05:00

Do you remember those one shoes I talked about here? The black patent leather with the stap across the top shoes I bought for my interview in February for the JET Program (the reason I'm leaving for Japan for a year just a week from today)? How I then photographed (from this post) those shoes and talked about me walking in heels and needing the help of YouTube to do so?

Does this help jog the memory?

I wore these yesterday for more walking in heels practice when I went shopping for a million things I still needed to buy before leaving for Japan, mostly items to make sure Tom is a little stocked up on things like toilet paper, granola bars, kitty litter (and hugs and kisses). Being raised with some manners and consideration for others, when I was done loading everything into my non-air-conditioner-having-car (it's been in the 100's here in Tulsa, just saying) I went to put away the cart (here in Tulsa, where it gets stupid hot outside, some call a shopping cart a buggy, which cracks me up and distracts me from the heat for 2 seconds).

Something felt stuck to the bottom of my shoe as I tried walking back to my hotbox car where items were surely melting. When I looked down, I became homicidal.

I saw this:

No, I have no idea how I got the gum wrapped around the entire goddamn shoe as if I'd tried to do as such.

I voiced aloud to myself in the empty-ish parking lot what I thought about the mother of someone who raised her kids (and I bet it was an adult kid, no reason, just a hunch because most little kids do know better) to think that it was OK to toss sticky chewing gum on the ground where someone would step in it. I've been chastised here before for saying something like someone having a filthy pig whore for a mother, but I'll say it again because the shoe fits, and when I'm that mad, I sometimes go straight for your mama's throat like the creative words of disparagement we learned in junior high. That still makes me more mature than the asshat who doesn't dispose of gum properly.

The gum still reeked of the peppermint that was probably being used to cover up whatever diseases are harbored in the offender's filthy pig mouth. I didn't want to touch it because, ew. The napkins I had in my car just made it worse, so even though I was in the middle of a bazillion errands, I had to stop at home to at least get the pig nastiness off of my shoes.

I tried putting the shoes in the freezer as I'd heard for gum removal, but it didn't work so well, and I was completely skeeved out having to pick at the infectogram of hate someone had left on my shoe and getting it under my fingernails. *insert gagging*

So, I turned to Twitter (you follow me, right?), the source of all information, good or bad or other, and the lovely Zoeyjane hooked me up with the solution that worked. She feared the peanut butter option I'd mentioned might ruin patent leather shoes due to the sugars and suggested olive oil.

And the olive oil worked. Like a charm. I put a little on a paper towel and gently rubbed on the olive oil until ~~it got hard~~ the gum started coming off. I get to meet Zoeyjane in Chicago before leaving for Japan next weekend (yay for BlogHer being in Chicago!), and she's getting an extra hug.

There was still gum on the bottom of the shoe where I wasn't afraid to use the peanut butter technique that goes like this:

Get Gum Off Your Shoes With Peanut Butter - The most amazing bloopers are here

Later yesterday, I got information from the Chicago consulate that Japan is still concerned enough with swine flu that I need to track my symptoms and temperature for the whole week leading up to departure and turn in the sheet before I'm allowed on the flight. I'm sure piggishness is not related to swine flu, so I should be OK.

At least it was the patent leather pair I was wearing and not the other new pair, the $100+ Tsubo ones that I got for under $15 (from this post). Can you imagine gum on these? *shudder*

The Problem with Vague

2009-07-13T16:34:00.004-05:00

The problem with writing a really vague post is that it makes it awfully hard for folks to have any idea what you are talking about unless they are psychic. I still am not at liberty to discuss what's not mine to share, but since I've received such kind words in response, I just feel like I need to clarify that my last post had zero to do with self-doubt or any fear about going to Japan for a year. Me? I'm fine. I've wanted to do this again since I left last time 11 years ago. No qualms.

That post had ~~more~~ everything to do with the idea that if certain pending medical issues go a certain way for someone (who is not me), I would be willing (more than willing, actually) not to get on that plane to Tokyo in a week and a half.

When I said that I don't always have to do what I have to be willing to do, I meant that the very act of processing the possibility of scary scenarios, and as part of that process exploring my willingness not to go to Japan if that looked like it would be best/necessary, clarified some important things in my life, so that process of becoming willing (or determining that I was already willing) was worthwhile because of what I learned from it, regardless of what happens from here.

I still hope like hell that I don't have to do that which I would be willing to do.

Clear as mud now? Since this post is really just a footnote to the last, and because I like orderliness and have enough that's out of my hands right now, I'm closing comments on this post so that any comments can go on the real post.

What I Have to be Willing to Do

2009-07-13T01:51:00.005-05:00

An old friend in old circles once shared an old saying that was new to me then but that often clunks around in my tired old mind now when pondering the tough stuff and the what-ifs and the oh-shits. It's spiritual in nature, even if in so many ways I'm that no longer, which isn't one of my shorter stories, and it simply helps me process complexities and my personal boogeymen by going like this:

I don't always have to do what I have to be willing to do.

I don't know the rest. I just know I've sorted out some thoughts about some of my worst fears. Honestly, they were even scarier than I'd feared. Making the journey into my heart and mind to make my peace with what I'd be willing to do if fear became reality has made a lot of important things crystal clear, unlike my cloudy crystal ball that keeps answering with unknowns. Sometimes you get lucky enough for just the results of such sorting out of willingness to be the whole point. My fingers are crossed for lucky. Toes, too.

Edited to add: This post was too vague to have made it easy to make any sense of it, so I've added some clarification here.

Posts Without Proper Titles Need Love, Too

2009-07-11T23:09:00.009-05:00

The root canal went great (and thanks so much for all the good thoughts and success stories). No, really, it wasn't terrible at all, no worse, really than a filling, though it took longer. I'm training myself not to cringe at the thought of eating old faves like salads or watermelon or even something like a room temperature apple (yep, even that was too cold/sweet) that would have sent spikes of horrendously agonizing pain through my tooth a week ago. There was a last minute scramble just an hour before the procedure, trying to find a dentist that would be able to come up with a crown in time for my departure from Tulsa (July 22nd) to Chicago and then to Japan since it can take a couple of weeks, but luckily I found a dentist that could get it rushed from the lab. I'll be getting that done next week (the temporary crown is surprisingly solid) and would even consider a root canal on the other sensitive tooth someday, if it comes to that. Words I never thought I'd say willingly.

Within an hour of having the root canal, my visiting dear friend J and I were dissecting my closet full of previously discussed sins and were out shopping for new clothes on a budget so that I don't represent America's worst dressed while in Japan. Deals included treasures like a $50 (*gasp*) pair of jeans that I would never have bought, except for the fact that I got them for about $9. Ditto these ridiculously cute and surprisingly super comfortable Tsubo heels we found that were marked down from $100+ to, um, the realm of my affordability at $12.99. The next day before getting the temporary crown, I even got a couple of pairs of new glasses (just as cheap to get two pairs as one), plus contacts again. I'm sure you'll be seeing pictures of them in posts to come. Well, more the glasses, I guess, since the contacts themselves won't be quite as noticeable other than moments when there is a lack of glasses.

In other news since I can't just say nothing, I'm not really at liberty to discuss something weighing heavily on my mind, so I turn to my favorite way to express myself when I must be vague, my friend the haiku.

still knocking on wood
afraid to jinx all good things
my fist and head hurt

I don't pray anymore, but I don't suppose it hurts any if you do and are so inclined, even with such limited information.

I can't think of a nice cutesy way to tie any of this together, and that, in turn, limits my ability to give this post a proper title.

Off to eat something cold that I hope I don't spill on my new clothes, while I give a seductive glance over one of my new pairs of glasses, as I knock on wood inside my head to keep any badness of any sort at a bay far away. Except that would be too long of a title.

I'd Rather

2009-07-07T00:01:00.000-05:00

So many times I've heard people faced with doing something utterly unpleasant say that they'd "rather have a root canal" than do whatever bit of unpleasantness. Sometimes the utterly unpleasant is really bad, too. This may be part of the reason that root canals have such a shady reputation as something really awful, painful, horrible and generally not a happy way to spend a couple hours. Others say they are not that bad anymore, really not much different from having a filling in terms of the pain afterward, other than the whole mouth agape for 2 hours thing. Oh, and the 4 or 5 shots I've read it can take to numb if the nerve is still alive. Mine's alive, along with the nerves connected to my fear of needles in the mouth-al area.

I've never known whether the horror stories are true or if those in the "just like a filling" camp were the real truth-tellers because I've never had a root canal.

Soon I'll know.

The endodontist I saw on Monday said at the point I am now (extreme cold sensitive - they did a test that brought tears to my eyes, but not to tapping), he'd normally recommend a wait and see approach for about another month, but that since I am leaving in, um, under 3 weeks for Japan, he's pretty sure I'd need a root canal in the end anyway, and dental work in other countries can be kind of a mixed bag, even aside from the language barrier and differences in pain management.

I'd rather be doing a lot of things on Tuesday morning, but I'll be having a root canal.

What would you rather be doing?

If you are looking for someone to listen to your non-scary stories about how positively swimmingly (oh, and for me, I'd rather be swimming) your own root canal went, you're in luck, your search is over because I'm all ears.

Friendliness, Toothiness

2009-07-06T01:27:00.014-05:00

I had an awesome time visiting old friends in Dallas, Texas just because I could get there in about 4-5 hours (yay, living in the middle!) and managed to see 3 friends I've known from way back in elementary or junior high school in the span from Thursday evening to Saturday afternoon (with lots of poolside drinks and memories and pictures old and new), then got home that night and enjoyed watching surprisingly professional-like fireworks with Tom and some of his friends from the comfort of their backyard, and finally my dear friend J will be coming for a visit starting on Monday to hang out and visit before I leave and to help me sort out which sins of my closet should not make another trip to Japan after already going there over a decade ago and already a decade too late at that point.

It's like a whirlwind of friends all at once, and it's really nice, especially seeing everyone before leaving for Japan, which is looming ever closer, with a million little things to do since it's now less than 3 weeks away, just over 2 weeks before I fly to Chicago a few days in advance to visit with family (and maybe a 2009 BlogHer Conference attendee or two if it works out that night of Friday the 24th that they are willing to come from there to my hotel by the airport before my flight the next day - I'll need to kinda stay put, mostly because I am a safety girl).

Meanwhile, I may or may not be having a root canal during my friend's visit because I'm about out of time and, as suspected, the tooth issue is back, so I'll see an endodontist on Monday before my friend gets here, then have it done, if needed, one day this week while he is still here. Not the kind of things I'd pair together, but my friend tells me that the drinks we will be having should help if it hurts. I guess that makes it not all bad.

It would be nicer if we had a pool, though, too, now that my Texas friends spoiled me with morning swims and evening swims and floating on my back in between conversations swims. I'm just sayin'.

Knock on Wood

2009-07-02T09:09:00.008-05:00

Yes, I've been quiet here. Quieter than I wanted to be. Now I feel it's OK to whisper.

I try not to be superstitious, but I'm forever appending hopeful sentences with "knock on wood." I think it's because I've seen what can happen, just when you think things are going swimmingly. Boom! Suddenly something happened, and it's all gone. Or never even was. (Added that last one for dramatic effect.) It's a balance not to walk around waiting for the other shoe to drop but also not to take anything for granted. I like my happy balance in between the two that I've carved out over all these years of all this Maggie-ness. It's me.

You may (or may not) remember that I had to do an FBI background check for this whole moving to Japan thing and that my fingerprints for said background check were rejected because they could not read the prints. Since then, while I was in Chicago, I had another couple of sets of fingerprints done there by a guy (in Niles, IL, in the mall) who seemed to know what he was doing since in Tulsa I have only one place that will do them, and theirs didn't work out so well.

I've got the FBI fingerprint people's number on speed-dial (no, really, I do - it's 304-625-5590 since I know a search engine will direct someone here looking for info, and I hate to disappoint... or be disappointed), and I've been calling daily for weeks (takes a week after they get them to even go to processing, then 7-10 business days to finish processing) trying to ascertain whether the prints were readable this time or whether I was screwed because time is running short. Meanwhile, the Chicago consulate was telling me that it might be OK to leave on time on July 25 without the fingerprints back to them, and that my chances were better having done the JET Program in the past, but that Tokyo was being more strict this year. Terror filled my thoughts wondering what happend if my fingerprints themselves are just not very printogntic (new word I just made up for whatever is like photogenic but for fingerprinting - the FBI should totally hire me to make new words), I may never have good ones to submit and might not get to go to Japan.

When I added the little countdown thingy here a week or so ago, I really wanted to post that it was less than a month until I leave for Japan and share all my excitement about all my preparation and what all I've learned about where I'm going (it's awesomeness) since I last allowed myself to talk about it on here, but I couldn't bring myself to say it in writing here on the blog due to my worry about my silly but potentially very un-funny fingerprint issue.

Today, the woman at the FBI fingerprints phone number (seems 99% are women, and about 99% of those are actually really delightful - no, really, they are mostly sweet) at first told me "nope, not processed," but since it's already 10 business days, I told her my predicament, and she looked in another database that said they'd been processed but just not updated in the database where they typically look.

And, my fingerprints were readable. Able to be processed.

I'll whisper it to y'all, folks, that I think I'm leaving for Japan in 23 days.

Unless something really screwy happens, like the original prints I was supposed to have sent back that are still on my desk actually being an issue. I think I'll call tomorrow, just to be sure. I think it's OK, though.

Knock on wood.

(And now I'm off to Dallas for a couple of days to see old friends I haven't seen in a million years - well including the one I saw a few weeks ago after a million years - because living in the middle completely rocks.)

Thinking of You, Iran

2009-06-21T14:15:00.001-05:00

Haiku Friday 6/19/09 - For Iran's Most Courageous

2009-06-19T01:10:00.002-05:00

For Iran's Most Courageous

Fearless green ribbon
wraps around my baffled mind
knots in my stomach.

I do not know you
but we're not all that diff'rent
we deserve what's fair.

Your courage moves me
risking so much for justice
and to tell the world.

Though you've been silenced,
they cannot contain your voice.
Yes, I can hear you.

What's Happening in Iran

2009-06-17T10:15:00.005-05:00

If you've been following me on Twitter (or have unfollowed me because of excessive tweets related to #Iranelection), you know that I've been watching what's happening in Iran closely. With news media remaining mostly silent while this was starting to unfold, some in Iran started using Twitter to get their message out about what was happening. Doing so is very risky, but very brave. It's a new world now with social media, and while there can be misinformation transmitted along with truly breaking news, it's much harder for a government to keep its people silent when they want their voices heard.

Warning, there are some graphic pictures in the video, but it explains a lot about what's been going on in Iran.

Living in the Middle

2009-06-13T00:01:00.001-05:00

Beyond the first bite, I don't love Facebook at all and mainly have an account only because it's nice when someone you would have loved to have kept in touch with but somehow have lost touch with now has an easy way to find you and vice versa. I'm not about all the gimmicky bullshit ploys that just seem to be about their creators getting your personal information like sending ghetto snacks or plants or passing drinks or any of the rest, nor typically friending people on there that I don't know in real life (sorry) for basically the same privacy reasons, but I do like it for the way I use it.

Last week, two people found me on Facebook, one a friend from England who I met back in my old Japan days, and another who was a good friend in junior high and kind of in high school. When I told my friend in London that going to see family in Chicago a couple weeks ago only took about 11 hours, she was kind of floored at the magnitude that is 11 hours worth of land upon which to drive. Lots of countries just aren't as big as the United States and even here, lots of states get smaller the further east you go. Driving from Chicago to Portland, OR was a 2.5 day drive (with sleeping overnight), and so was driving for the big move back in December from Portland to Tulsa.

While I have some real issues with living in Oklahoma, I'm positive that I love how accessible so many of my favorite people seem from here in the middle, and I love how much I've been able to just leave Tulsa at breakfast time and be someplace else in time for dinner (literally!), especially when dinner means pizza back in Chicago, or including a bottle of good wine in Nashville when meeting a favorite blogger who made her own drive out that way (and then followed by another favorite who lives out that way and a whole bunch more, plus even seeing an old classmate I hadn't seen in 20 years along the way!). Returning from family visits in Chicagoland (where another favorite blogger and my old prom date live) but taking a small detour to Indy to see my dear friend J a couple of times in just a handful of months when it used to be 5+ years between visits all just makes me smile.

Sure, I'll be far away in Japan for a year, but that's kind of like a long side trip (a really seriously awesome side trip), and then I'll be back in the middle again. While Tulsa is just on the 3-5 year plan (clock is ticking, even while I'm in Japan), I have a feeling our next big move will be to another part of the middle of the country so that I can be a busybody.

I'll let this post go up automatically at midnight in case I'm already in bed resting up for Saturday's drive to meet that above good friend in junior high and kind of in high school who found me on Facebook earlier in the week because she just so happens to live just one state away! It's been a hundred years, lots of hairstyles (those perms back in the day, oh, my) and many lifetimes and life events ago since I've seen her. It's still not easy to get from here to London to see my other friend (someday, though, someday, I hope), but the middle brings so many more so much closer and feels like being all up in the thick of it all.

Aside from geography, I'm finding that life in general is like that, too, if you think about it... I don't mean being mid-life like that but mean being in the midst of life, like right smack dab in the middle of the midst of life, aiming to live it fully, good with the bad, but as much as possible surrounded by the good stuff of life like good friends. Must be all the nostalgia making me waxy and mushy in the middle.

Haiku Friday 6/12/09

2009-06-12T09:55:00.005-05:00

Have pictures to share
and a few things to say, too
but no time right now

So for now just this
sunsets mark passing of time
end of day begins

Inverse Proportionality (Maggie Math)

2009-06-08T03:57:00.008-05:00

I got back home in Tulsa on Saturday after the trip to Chicago (and last minute side-trip to Indy), and while I've been not blogging, nor sharing some of the pictures (the graduation set was really fun), nor making my rounds to even my favorite blogs (yes, that's YOU!), I've been busy with important stuff like scouring maps (in what Japanese I still remember) of the area where I'll be in Japan (a very rural area of the already very rural prefecture of Okayama, if you are just joining us me) in order to find out what is and is not around those parts. Since there is literally no fast food restaurant in my town (a moment of silent reflection goes here), I have a chance of turning over a new leaf with a healthier outlook.

Yah, except that I've located a Starbucks, Mr Donut (aka, MisDo, an old friend from last time I did Japan), Mc Donald's, and maybe possibly even, gasp, a Dairy Queen (unless it really said Daily Queen - same word in Japanese that I suppose could be a whole other meaning) within reasonable (less than an hour or two has now become the new reasonable *sob* *kidding, I'm OK-ish* *maybe*) distance. This all means that if my ass is growing fatter, it's likely that my wallet is growing thinner paying train fare to get my fix. Y'all know that I'm not mathematician and just play a bad one on my blog, but there's your practical application math lesson example of inverse proportionality for the day if you were looking for one (who knew I'd ever use math like that in a real life like mine).

If that helped you in some way, please consider a donation of cash, coffee, cheeseburgers or just chubbier girl pants for when I get there.

Bitch, You Crazy

2009-05-29T13:03:00.007-05:00

Not far from where I've been placed in Japan, there are several places that start with what I would write in English as Bicchu..., but since there are different ways of writing Japanese words in English, sometimes another method is used. My dear friend J, who already thinks I'm nuts for doing Japan again (it's easier fresh out of college to put up with things like the camping-like conditions we endured - he's totally right!), noticed this little gem and presented it as evidence of what he's been saying all along:

The first part, "bitch" (instead of "bicchu") speaks for itself. The long "u" does sound like "you." Now, considering that "e" in Japanese is pronounced like "ay," this really does look an awful lot like it's saying "Bitch, you koo-ray-say," which sounds an awful lot like "bitch, you crazy." Heh.

I'm still waiting to hear more details, but I do think I'm going to love it there.

In other news, I safely arrived in Chicago yesterday and will be here for a few days, not sure how many, and my blog reading will be light, so if I'm not around here a ton or visiting y'all a ton, that's my excuse.

And Now I Know (or Redefining Inaka)

2009-05-28T00:40:00.000-05:00

Less than 2 hours after I last posted that I was full of wonderment and chomping at the bit to know where in Japan I'd be headed, I found out. And now I know.

If you'd have asked me before around 10:40 this morning about living in inaka (the countryside, the boonies, middle of bloody nowhere) in Japan, I'd have said that I did that last time. At any point since about 10:40 this morning, I've been realizing that while it looked like inaka where I was last time, with all the rice fields and whatnot, being a 10 minute walk from a little train station that was a less than 20 minute train ride into a decent sized city to get to a station on the main train line was actually more accurately described as suburban. Not inaka, really. This time? I do think it's really fair to say that I'm going to the inaka.

I'm going to Okayama Prefecture. Not to the part even near Okayama City (which would have been pretty OK and not very inaka), but instead I'm off to a very tiny little town of not a whole lot of people and not even remotely close to the main train line I was hoping would be super convenient for all the traveling I hope to be doing. Other than being in the same vicinity of the country of Japan as I hoped, it's not at all approaching the urban, or even suburban if it had to be, that I was really hoping I'd asked nicely enough to think I might get.

I don't have all the details, just the name of my new town in kanji and word that it is, as it appears on the map, indeed, very rural, very beautiful, very friendly and not near a goddamn thing. I spent half the day busy getting ready for my Chicago trip trying wrap my mind around the shock of this placement (I really thought I had a chance at suburban at least, I really did) and feeling a little bruised, honestly, because it's the opposite of what I requested. Then I've spent the last few hours remembering that there are a lot of folks on the waiting list who would gladly take my place if I decide to be a whiny little bitch about it, realizing that I did at least get in the same general area of the country I'd hoped and cheering myself up knowing that I'll make the best of it and will likely love it for the same reasons it scares/annoys me right now. I'll still get to travel all the places in the vicinity I want to go on long weekends, and the rest of the time I'll be experiencing a very different Japan from the one I experienced last time, which is kind of the point, anyway, and is probably good for someone like me so that I don't start thinking I know it all (who? me?).

I've told so many incoming JETs anxious about this kind of placement (or worse, there are some more rural, like on remote islands - for realz) that almost any placement is a good placement with the right attitude and a good sense of humor. I believe it because it's no bullshit. And now it's time to take my own advice. I'm getting there. I'm warming up to the idea. I'll also do better once I have specifics from the person I'm replacing, like knowing that there is a good place for coffee or a cute neighborhood bar or just a place to buy peanut butter in person (a girl can dream, right?). So, I'm in. I think. Mostly. I'll get there.

Hopefully my experience with the newly redefined inaka will translate into better stories and better pictures to share, too. Another perk.

Today I'll Know More

2009-05-27T08:16:00.010-05:00

The JET Program is a whole bunch of start early and then wait in phases, with a million bits of paperwork and reference letters and documents all ~~folded origami style into ducks neatly lined up in a row~~ properly copied and collated by around mid-November (to be safe), followed by finding out around the end of January (28th for me) you've been lucky enough to get an interview, then the interview itself in mid-February (the week of the 16th-23rd this year), waiting to hear the results early April (the 7th for me), then for the lucky ones a rush of more paperwork and fingerprints to send to the FBI (which I have to re-do, boo and hiss) and tax forms and getting the passport in order and a million other things due late April or early May (May 1st for me), and then waiting some more to find out, after all of that, where besides just the area generally known as the country of Japan you'll be placed.

Placement is usually announced around late May or early June, and it varies by country and by consulate (many in South Africa, New Zealand, Australia, Jamaica, Canada, Singapore and some of the US Consulates - or at least some in Denver - have found out over the past handful of days). The Chicago consulate, where I had the pleasure of sweating in a hot/hawt black suit, will be announcing results today. Likely. They said likely.

OMFG, today I find out where I'm going! (Likely.)

I just may or may not know the exact city or school or possibly Board of Ed. Maybe just the prefecture, just enough of a bone tossed my way to occupy my mind while I wait to hear from my predecessor - in days or maybe weeks - who will have all the dirt on where I'll actually be living, what my rent will be, how long it will take to bike/ride the train/walk/crawl to work, whether I'm in the city or on a remote island, whether the other teachers are cool and basically what my next year will look like on the outside before I make it my own.

Waiting is the hardest part, and knowing that information is coming (likely) makes it harder to concentrate on, well, anything else, even if I have a list of stuff to do before I hit the road for Chicago tomorrow to celebrate a nephew's high school graduation. I'll likely have plenty to think about on the about 11 hours with pit stops drive, and maybe I'll have even more info before that trip is over, too, so that I can hurry up and get everything all lined up and wait for departure at the end of July.

I wonder what time today I'll (likely) hear and what my mental state will be by then...

A Tuesday Re-Cap

2009-05-26T00:01:00.001-05:00

We moved on Friday. It's done. I'm feeling less willing to unpack, but I suppose the 3rd time in 6 months could be the charm. Maybe I'll give it a few days.
In a few days I'm driving "home" to Chicago for a very special event, the high school graduation of a nephew that was born while I was in college, which is where he'll be headed this fall. My mind feels old trying to wrap a bow around that box of flying time.
The fingerprinting for the FBI criminal background check that I had to do for the JET Program (you know, the one where I move to Japan in July for a year?) came back rejected, which caused me to panic at first until I re-read the email 18 times to confirm that it was just an issue with the prints themselves and that those will be sent back to me to include with the new set for the new request so that I don't have to pay again. Except that I have to wait until they forward from the last address, which may happen while I'm in Chicago, which doesn't help me to get this all done quickly, which would give me peace of mind. Spike my latte, someone?
I don't feel like talking publicly any more about the cat pee carpet in the new place, but it's partially resolved enough to shut me up a little though still not what I think is exactly how it should be done. If there are further issues, I'll be loud again.
We had ribs for dinner, and they rocked. Crockpot first, under the broiler then, and onto the plate and down the hatch. A few hours later, we had an inexplicable and insatiable desire for pancakes. I don't know why I'm terrible at making pancakes, but bad pancakes with enough butter and syrup is never really all that bad of a thing.
My pants feel tighter. My mind feels lighter.

Memorial Day

2009-05-25T10:49:00.004-05:00

It's not about the start of summer,
not about ribs on the grill for the barbecue,
nor the pools that will open
or the splashing, diving or dunking in days to come,
and it's not about the old school fashion calendar
heralding the change over and permission to wear white sandals
(as if anyone under 40 follows this anymore).

It's more about about those who miss someone today
a spouse or child or parent or sibling or friend
who is dead
in the name of service to others
(stop, pause, imagine, feel, connect, let your heart appreciate the magnitude)
loved ones, literally ones who are/were loved,
unable to attend the party
or take a dip in the pool
or worry about fashion don'ts
because of sacrifice,
giving their lives for our way of life.

Today I'll celebrate
the things I love most
about the American way of life
but I remember not to forget
that the cliche is true,
that freedom isn't free,
and that many someones grieve today
for what they've lost
to pay for what we've got.

It's memorial day.
Let's remember.

Haiku Friday 5/22/09

2009-05-22T00:01:00.000-05:00

been such a long week
cat pee issue not as bad
we move in today

shouldn't be so hard
for folks to do the right thing
where pee is involved

out of energy
to fight it any further
and out of time, too

prob'ly this is good
even if just good enough
at least i hope so

ready to be done
and stop moving all our stuff
just when we've unpacked

hoping for the best
while also fearing the worst
trying not to care

not a witty 'ku
just don't have it in me now
cat pee bad for brain

Too Tired to Title This Update of Sorts

2009-05-18T22:42:00.005-05:00

The new place should be OK overall, and we now own a fridge (I'd prefer not to own one and just have it as part of renting, but I'm not getting much of what I'd prefer of late). Unfortunately the place smells like cat pee. The landlord doesn't smell it. Probably related to the nine million air fresheners that were there. Thankfully, the black light fluoresced to show that I wasn't nuts (shows pee, among other delights - sometimes you just don't want to know), but he's only inclined to help to a small degree, so I'll be spending more money than I particularly care to spend to hopefully take care of the problem because the thought of what my cats would do to a carpet that already smells like cat pee is something I'd really rather not experience or even consider. It's worth the cost, even if he won't reimburse, which he might not, though maybe I'll get lucky.

The faux wood blinds I want so badly that I haiku'd about them are not likely to be because our window sizes just make them too expensive to spend ($90 for the 2 windows I have in mind), especially considering our track record of late for frequency of moves. Maybe if we are still there when I come back from Japan and if it looks at that point like we are staying for awhile.

Also, my whole tooth/teeth issue that seemed pretty alright at first may not be as alright as I'd like because now one side is sensitive on top and the other side is sensitive on the bottom, which doesn't really leave a side to enjoy foods that are either hot or cold. I'll give it a little time since sometimes it takes time, but I might not be done. I'd rather just be done.

On a happy note because whining is annoying, packing this time is going really well because I've basically stopped doing any packing, which rocks. I'm just grabbing a bunch of whatever and taking things over in canvas grocery bags since it's not very far away. Even fragile stuff has been fine since it's just me in my car instead of a bunch of people and stuff going in trucks and getting knocked around or stacked. My goal is to have mostly just the heavy book boxes and furniture type items when the "real" move happens this Friday. My kitchen at the new place is already about 90% ready to cook.

Now I think I just need to test out the new fridge with some cold beers just to make sure it's working properly. Or at least test the ice cube maker by making an iced coffee.

Haiku Friday 5/15/09

2009-05-15T00:01:00.000-05:00

Such a simple touch
can transform our next new home
to feel like our last.

Clean white faux wood blinds
visual equivalent
to fresh linens smell.

Substantial yet plain
like yummy tasting shortbread
minus the crunch sound.

Humane Humans Need Not Apply

2009-05-13T22:00:00.001-05:00

While waiting to hear about the place we were hoping to rent since we are moving yet again, I was keeping my eyes open for other places to live. Honestly, there were very few that were in our price range and where we wanted to be, but there was one other that looked like a possibility, so I called.

The ad said that pets were welcome, but within a couple of minutes of talking to the landlord, it was clear that while they might maybe possibly consider the idea of maybe considering an application from one who owns pets, they'd really prefer not to rent to someone with pets. It would have been helpful if the ad had just said something like, I dunno, maybe "no pets"? The guy also went on and on and on and onandon about having to clean up dog pee and shampoo the carpets 9 times (apparently instead of replacing them, which is what he should do if they still smell), even though I kept trying to cut to the chase to say that I have (well-behaved-ish) cats. In the end I found out the two following rules that I think both suck eggs (and which, again, would be unnecessary if they just flat out went with no pets, which seems fair enough for a landlord to say, instead of looking like a huge asshat):

For dogs, "no mutts." No mixed breeds allowed. Pure breeds only. The reason, he said, is that "you can't tell if there could be some Pit[bull] in there." So, basically, almost anyone who does a good thing by providing a typically mutt kind of shelter dog another chance at a good life can't live there, even if it's like a Chihuahua and Yorkshire Terrier mix, or some other very obviously tiny and harmless mix. It's one thing to restrict certain breeds for size or safety concerns (though, even then, the owners play a huge role - I've met some very darling and sweet Pitbulls), but a blanket rule about "mutts" is over the top, ignorant, stupid and generally not the kind of place I want to live.
For cats, even if you provide appropriate materials for scratching, and even if you (presumably since we didn't get that far) pay a deposit, you must have your cat's paws basically amputated at what would be the equivalent to the last knuckle of your finger, also known as declawing (something I feel strongly about, as does the Humane Society of the United States). Imagine walking around on those feet for the rest of your life. Ouch! It's cruel and inhumane and illegal in many countries, just not here in the States. There are so many alternatives, like knowing how to properly trim your cats claws or just outsmarting your cat with alternatives.

While I didn't bother sharing my views on either topic, since you can't cure stupid and since the guy would just have kept frothing at the mouth about how he can't even enjoy the sight of the little neighbor boy walking his dog that "looks like George Bush's dog" because of having to shampoo carpet that he really should be replacing instead, I did say to him that I would not be declawing my cats, and that if it was going to be a dealbreaker, then it was a dealbreaker. And it was. Which is fine with me.

Luckily, the original place we were hoping to get did come through *insert huge sigh of relief*, and our lease will start this Friday, though the major part of our move won't be until next Friday (which is still pretty damn quick - 12 days from finding out we were moving!). I'm OK with this since the new place is located near where we are and will allow me to procure a washer, dryer and fridge (eek! buying used) so that it's livable by next week. I'll also get to go over there with some of those loose end type items that are a pain in the ass to pack as well as a few boxes here and there to get some of the boxes out of my hair here, which is awesome because the cats, um, always scratch the hell out of the boxes when we are moving (which might kind of be inappropriate but not worth mutilation).

Hug your kitties today. Doggies, too. Or whatever pets. And think happy packing thoughts for me, which is what I should be doing instead of blogging.

I'm in the Wrong Business

2009-05-12T22:16:00.006-05:00

So, within a few hours of finding out yesterday afternoon that we are moving a-goddamn-gain for the 3rd time in 6 months, I found at least one promising place to check out as a possibility to call home. Trouble is, even after just a month, we are spoiled and can't really imagine having to go back to the whole apartment living thing (especially not in the Tulsa area where it's... just different), and, frankly, I'm a little out of my league since I don't know the nuances of renting non-apartment type housing since we've only done it just this once and without an application process since it was friends (yes, we still did a formal lease, and that in and of itself was... just interesting).

I emailed about the property last night, we went to see it today, and we were really happy with it. I went to give the landlord the application and $25 fee, and we discussed again the idea that while he wants someone to rent it immediately (or sooner), we realistically would be looking more at next Friday (yes, a week and a half to pack, yikes), if that would work. What I didn't expect was that there may be other applicants who also have paid their $25 application fees and that he'd be considering "the whole picture" when reviewing the application(s), including as one factor who can take it soonest. He did mention someone wanting even later than us, but I'm not really sure if there are a bunch of applicants or just that one. See, with apartments, by the time I'd paid the application fee, I knew that there was at least one unit available or likely would be if applying in advance. With non-apartment-only-one-available kind of house type rentals, that's not the case. He also said that the places like this usually are shown about 3-5 times a day.

Yes, I'm sure in huge big cities where people scan the obits to find vacancies left by the deceased (is that real or just urban legend?), stuff like this goes on all day every day, even for apartments, and that people pay others to find them apartments on top of fees for something they may not even get, but this is all new to me. Apartment renting is just different. I'm pretty sure that this is totally legit, but it just struck me different and made me wonder...

Y'all know I avoid math, and I know legally this surely couldn't be done, but I couldn't help but wonder, if you just sat around taking $25 application fees all day from 3 people a day for 31 days in the longer months, ~~when would the train reach the station~~ that would be $2325 per month, much more than the $300-$1500 or whatever amount you might otherwise get if you actually rented it. That would be kind of brilliant. Illegal, likely for someone to catch on pretty damn quick, but brilliant and fun to think about to distract me from the daunting task of packing up all of our crap. Again. By next Friday. Or sooner.

Too Good to Be True

2009-05-12T01:40:00.000-05:00

Ever since we moved into our new home at the end of March, I've made a point of loving every minute of it. I love the kitchen space and pantry. I love the room to spread out. I love having backyard with a patio. I love feeling a solid floor under my feet and knowing that no neighbors dwell below. I love listening to the TV at whatever volume I want. I love having a washer and dryer in my home again. I love living on a nice suburban street. I love the awesome layout and general homey atmosphere. I love being all unpacked and feeling like we're at home. I love the feel of both the plush carpet and the cool tile on my bare feet.

I hate that we likely have to move again so soon when we just got here.

For those who have misplaced your scorecards, it was just 5 months ago in December that I packed up and left Portland and drove through lots of states in order to move to Tulsa to join Tom after 9 months of apartness, and then we had crazy neighbors at the Tulsa apartment but soon after got a great offer to rent a house from a friend's family at a price we could afford (see second point at that link), so I packed up all the same boxes again just 3 months later to get to where we are now.

And where we are now is in a situation I'm really not at liberty to discuss in detail publicly (though I have a lot of opinions about it) but where the owners of this house we've been in just over a month are having some trouble and where us leaving now makes more sense instead of holding them to the year lease and just being in the same boat at a later point. But a point at which I'll be in Japan.

I'm sick to my stomach trying to sort out new living arrangements within our budget because it's been so easy to get used to living in a house without walls shared with neighbors and seems so hard to go back to the opposite of that wonderful feeling, but at least I've gotten pretty damn good at packing by now with all that excessive practice, so our 3rd move in less than 6 months (seriously, wtf?!) should seem like old hat by now. Glad I kept the boxes.

Oblivious Peace

2009-05-11T03:30:00.000-05:00

Yes, I will most definitely be bringing my camera to Japan. Yes, there will likely be many shots involving the peace sign to add to my collection. I can only hope I'll be lucky enough to catch something this batshit on film (er... disk? I guess would be correct?) to share for giggles.

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