Life and Times of a Preacher Mom

A Gathering of Saints

2009-07-02T21:31:00.001-04:00

Today was the last gathering of my sweet, sweet Bible Study group. We met every Wednesday morning at 10:00 for the last 9 years. These people are the heart and soul of Small Church and will hold a piece of my heart and soul forever. They are the ones I will miss when I leave. They are the only ones who can bring tears to my eyes when they talk to me about leaving. One of my dearest friends (far left) hosted us at her beautiful home. The food was delicious. The company was wonderful. Good times. Good memories.

Home?

2009-06-27T10:50:00.001-04:00

After countless hours sitting on my posterior driving through countless neighborhoods looking at countless houses after scanning countless ads and making countless phone calls, I think that maybe, just maybe, I found it. It's not exactly in the community that was my first choice and the layout isn't just exactly what I thought I was looking for, but it's nice. Other than compromising on the location, my only real complaints about it are the carpet (I have 2 girls with horrible allergies and carpet is not our best friend) and the size of the bedrooms. I'm taking Rosemary next week to see it. We'll be measuring rooms and walls, trying to figure out what furniture we may leave behind and where things are likely to be placed. Then I'll be making that security deposit, which makes it all real.

Countdown, Revised

2009-06-27T10:20:00.001-04:00

At Small Church

Two more Sundays (but just one more sermon!)

Two fellowship events (but just one I'm actually looking forward to.)

Four nursing home visits

One more hospital pastoral care event (that I'm aware of at this point.)

New Call Timeline

Three days before COM exam

Fifteen days until congregational vote

Twenty-four days until presbytery meeting

Thirty-five days until I'm officially in new call*

*This is assuming that all goes well in preceding events. The timeline makes me nervous, but if the church and the presbytery are putting up significant amounts of money to get me into the new house before the timeline is complete, then they must believe that all of this is just a formality.

Moving Timeline*

Twenty-three days until the moving truck loads.

Twenty-four days until it unloads in new location. (And yes, you will notice that unloading day and presbytery day coincide. Haven't quite figured out how that's going to work yet. Trying to conserve on the number of trips I take back and forth. There are still many, I'm afraid, between now and August 1st.)

*Not set in stone, but most likely scenario.

As I've been writing this, I've been listening to the constant bickering between Ian and Emily from back in their room. Constant! Excuse me while I go do a happy dance over this next one:

Only 24 days until I can put Ian and Emily in their own, personal, SEPARATE rooms!!!

Procrastination

2009-06-19T22:51:00.001-04:00

I love to write. Really, I do. It might not look like it though, if you were to observe my behavior when writing becomes a "must-do" instead of a "wanna do." This week I had three things I had to write: a sermon, a statement of faith, and a biographical statement. So what's the big deal?

I write sermons every week. The catch is this: this is the next-to-the-last sermon I will preach at Small Church. I have 3 more Sundays in the pulpit, but the last one - July 5th - is a music-based worship service. So I have two more chances to say from the pulpit the things I feel are most important to say to this congregation that has won my heart and frustrated my soul for the last ten years. I want to write the right sermons for these last two Sundays of preaching. That's a whole lot harder (for me anyway) than it sounds. I dread writing my last sermon next week, although I do have in mind a general theme already shaping up.

Then there were two pieces of writing I had to submit this week for the Committee on Ministry of the presbytery I will be joining very soon. I will have my examination with them on June 30th. Prior to that meeting it is the protocol to submit a personal statement of faith (one page only, please) and a biographical statement (also just a page) so that they can review them in advance. Geez, how hard can it be for a preacher to write a statement of faith? Once again, it's a whole lot harder (for me, anyway) than it sounds. I've served on the Committee on Preparation for Ministry and our Examinations Commission, so I know to include my beliefs on the Trinity, the sacraments, and the church. I also know how gosh-awful nit-picky some people can be when they read statements of faith with the purpose of looking for "unorthodox" statements. I've not been the subject of such nit-picking myself, but I've done plenty of squirming for others who have been placed in the hot seat because of an unfortunate or careless choice of words. It's enough to give this preacher writer's block. And the biographical statement? Not that hard, but once writer's block hits my muse calls it quits and I'm left with nothing.

Today was the deadline. I had promised to email the two statements to the COM chair by the end of the week. And while I guess I could have written my sermon tomorrow, it is my goal every week to have it finished before Saturday. Yesterday was my procrastinator's heyday. I packed. I researched housing and schools. I cleaned the kitchen. I cooked. (And dang, it was extra good if I say so myself!) I finished the bulletin by lunchtime. I did laundry. I was ultra-productive in every area except the one I needed to be productive in. I went to bed last night with a knot in my stomach, fearing that today would be just as unproductive.

Praise the Lord - my muse that took a vacations day yesterday came back today rested and refreshed. The writing came easily. Both pieces for the COM have been written and emailed. I've read and re-read them and think I should be safe. (I hope.) The sermon was no big deal after all and I'm actually pretty pleased with it. My Saturday just opened up for me nicely and I'm looking forward to enjoying it.

So if completion feels this damn good - and it always does - why is it I procrastinate again?

Ever Felt Like This?

2009-06-12T14:17:00.001-04:00

The Naked Pastor reads my life again!

The Many Sides of Silence

2009-06-12T11:11:00.001-04:00

They say that silence is golden. I guess sometimes it truly is.

There is something precious about a relationship that has reached the point where two individuals can sit side-by-side on a couch, ride in a car, or take a walk and not have the need to fill every second with chatter. Instead they find that there is a simple joy and comfort in just being together.

There are days when intense personal interaction has drained this borderline introvert's reserves or when my children's energy has far surpassed my own and I find great relief in riding alone in the car with no radio. The silence calms my nerves and recharges my batteries.

There is something sacred about letting go and entering the silence of prayer and worship. We are so seldom still enough or quiet enough to hear those whispers to our heart or feel those gentle nudges to our soul. To enter that kind of silence is a rare and precious gift.

But there are other sides to silence.

I've used silence as a mask. I somehow got the message from my family of origin that you should always show your best face to others. For years, back when I was stuck in a miserable marriage, there was no best face for me to show that was honest. So my best face became silence. I said nothing about my misery. I did not ask for help, or comfort, or support. To this day my mom says that it came as a complete shock to her when my husband walked out the door, leaving me with a 10 week old baby. By the time he left, I had lived in that misery for almost two years. Damn effective mask, wouldn't you say?

And since I'm revisiting some of those old memories, let me add that there is yet another side to silence. It can be used as a weapon. It was my ex's weapon of choice. He didn't like my family or friends. When they came to the house or when we were invited out, he refused to participate in conversation. This wasn't just a shy man not knowing what to say. It was a rude man, who refused to answer direct questions with anything other than a grunt or a look of disdain. Soon friends quit calling and no one dropped by the house anymore. I became hostage to his silence alone. He would go days, a week even, without acknowledging a single thing I said, without responding to a single question. I felt invisible. Worthless. Unlovable. Less than human. He could've been a guard at Gitmo. It was absolutely torturous. I think I would rather have been hit. At least then he would've had to acknowledge my existence. You can't hit something that isn't there. At least then I would have felt real and important enough to lash out against. Who knew that silence could hurt worse than slap in the face or a punch to the gut? A bullet through the heart couldn't have been any more effective. Or any more painful.

I knew that there was still a spark of me left on the day I quit asking him questions, begging for attention, or trying to discuss ways to save the relationship. I became silent with him on the day my love broke. The sound of it breaking seemed to me to be louder than the crash of thunder following a lightning strike and the impact of the break was so strong that if felt as if the lightning had indeed struck me. The pain of it took my breath away and literally caused me to double over, but the peace that followed immediately after was life-giving. I became silent, only this time it wasn't a mask anymore. It was the realization that the relationship was irreparably broken and I no longer had any desire to fix it. It was my acknowledgement to myself that I wasn't invisible, worthless, or unlovable. It was accepting that living life as a single person was an infinitely better choice than living life as a miserable married person. It was the beginning of the journey back to myself.

To this day, however, I still struggle with silence within relationships. It makes no difference to me if it is a family relationship, a professional relationship, a friendship, or a romance. I have an intense need to communicate, to understand what is going on in the other person's mind. Unexplained silence makes me uncomfortable, miserable even. To me, to be ignored is the ultimate slap in the face. Knowing nothing for sure but my own life experience, I wonder what the other person is hiding. Why the mask of silence? Since human nature keeps us from wanting to hide good things from people in our lives, I automatically think the worst.

Only that's not really the worst. The worst is this: is silence being used as a weapon, a tool of manipulation, a means of punishment? Am I becoming invisible, worthless, or unlovable again? Seldom do I allow myself to think the best: that the silence is just a time-out, a regrouping, a recharging of batteries. I guess when one has been victim to a particular weapon, that weapon will always look dangerous regardless of whose hand is holding it.

Yes, silence is golden. But sometimes it is a gold-plated assault rifle.

Looking

2009-06-09T12:25:00.000-04:00

Rosemary and I are sitting in the parking lot of my church-to-be, waiting on the realtor to meet us and take us to look at potential houses. I'm excited at the possibilities, hoping to get a glimpse of a place we could call home. Wish us luck! :)

Good News!

2009-06-01T20:43:00.001-04:00

(drum roll, please . . .)

I have received a call to a church! This has been a long, drawn-out process (as is the norm in the PCUSA, I'm afraid) and there are still more hoops to jump through before all is finally final, but I'm well on my way! I'm excited. The kids are excited. My folks, not so much so. It's further away from them, but they do understand and are trying to be supportive.

We will be moving to our favorite vacation destination. Depending on where I find a house (renting, at first), I will be somewhere between 10-20 minutes away from the beach!!! (Wish you could see the little happy dance I'm doing right now!) I will be in the same city as Coach. (I wish you could see the big happy dance I'm doing right now!!)

The church is small, but not as small as Small Church. The congregation is still primarily older, but there are more younger folks and . . . get this . . . some other children. (Oops! Breaking out in another happy dance!) The church is home to that presbytery's Hispanic Ministry, a ministry you know is close to my heart. There is potential here, I can just feel it.

After being beat down, bruised, and I swear, almost broken at Small Church, I am having to work hard to reclaim my energy, my enthusiasm, and a little of my lost self-confidence. I am trying to imagine what it can be like to be in a place where people are excited and ready to move forward. I'm trying to imagine a life and a schedule that more accurately reflects the kind of balance and fulfillment I have lost here.

I'm also trying to look ahead and think about the things I will need to do first. If you have words of advice, suggestions, books that are must-reads, etc., please send them my way. I'm ready to go and I want to go ready!

Countdown Continues

2009-06-01T20:20:00.001-04:00

~~1 more Circle meeting~~ Done

~~2 1 more Bible study meetings (this one makes me sad)~~ Done

11 10 only 7 more Sundays, although I will not be here for all of them; 7 6 5 is probably a more accurate number

2 more communions

1 more session meeting (Aw, gee! Can't I skip that one?!)

~~2 1 more ESL classes~~ Done

~~1-3 more presbytery committee meetings, depending on whether or not I feel like going~~ Finished!

~~1 more presbytery meeting~~ Done

~~1 more community ministry board meeting~~ moving on before next board meeting, will submit resignation this week

Goodbye, My Friend

2009-06-01T19:39:00.001-04:00

Scratch

1996-2009

Graduation Day

2009-05-28T22:04:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is Ian and Emily's kindergarten graduation! How can that possibly be? They will be performing a play - he will be a bunny and she will be a bird. No standard graduation garb here! LOL! I'll be sure to take pictures to share.

I can't help but think back to Rosemary's kindergarten graduation. I cried the entire day. Seriously. All. day. Her graduation was at night. I cried when I dropped her off at school. I cried all day at work. (I thought my colleagues were going to call in the white coats before the day was over!) I cried my way through the graduation program. I was a wreck! What was the deal with that?! I'm not saying I won't cry at all tomorrow. I am a complete wuss, you know. But I'm not anticipating a weepy day all day long.

Somehow, the thought of seeing my son with bunny ears and my daughter with orange bird leg tights and purple wings makes me want to giggle instead.

So, setting my alarm and checking it twice. Emily wants to make sure we don't sleep in tomorrow! :)

Next Step

2009-05-22T09:20:00.001-04:00

After a productive (I think) interview with a church at the end of April, the time is finally here for me to preach for their PNC. The delay between the two events is due to the travel schedules of a couple of their committee members and the schedule of a "neutral pulpit" church. So this weekend it is.

Rosemary and I leave tomorrow for City by the Sea. (The little ones will be staying with grandparents.) We will be staying with a former colleague of mine who is now a new church development pastor there. He and his wife have offered us a night on the town Saturday night. :) Sunday morning I will preach in an island church that, I'm told, has a view of the ocean from inside the sanctuary. I'm hoping that will be more of a calming factor than a distraction. It would be more calming if I could hear the waves - love that sound! - but the view should be beautiful as well. After church I'll have lunch with the committee. Rosemary is old enough to go her own way for awhile. In fact, I rather imagine that she will enjoy it! I'm a little nervous about being at the transportation mercy of my exploring daughter and the committee, but I'm pretty sure I won't get stranded!

After that, who knows? That will be our time to play! Weather permitting, I'm sure we'll hit the beach awhile. Unless I tank Sunday morning, we'll probably explore the various communities/neighborhoods a little more seriously. Maybe meet up with other friends down there - maybe not. The kids are out of school on Monday, so we won't have to head back home until then.

I originally planned on preaching the lectionary text from Acts. The choosing of a leader to replace Judas seemed appropriate. (Then again, Matthias was never heard from again. Not a great precedent! LOL!) I carried some ideas around in my head for a couple of weeks, but none of them wanted to gel into any coherent form. I had already decided that whatever I planned to preach for the PNC, I would write a week ahead and preach at Small Church last Sunday. After struggling with the prescribed text, I finally gave myself permission to scrap it and write what I wanted to write. I am as satisfied with the effort as I think is possible, although I'm rarely satisfied as a whole with what I write. It was well received last Sunday. Hopefully it will be this Sunday as well. I still have some liturgy/prayers to write. I rarely write my prayers. I'm not sure why I am now. It's entirely possible that I will scrap the written prayer at the time anyway, but at least I'll have the choice.

I know that many of you are already quite busy on Sunday mornings, but if you happen to have a minute to spare, please say a prayer that all goes well and that discernment will be clear. I am so ready to leave the land of uncertainty. I've been here way too long. I'm ready to have a clear, definable goal to work toward again. I'm hoping that it's a good sign that while butterflies are present, the nervousness isn't nearly as strong as the excitement.

Countdown: One week later

2009-05-21T08:13:00.001-04:00

~~1 more Circle meeting~~

2 1 more Bible study meetings (this one makes me sad)

11 10 more Sundays, although I will not be here for all of them; 7 6 is probably a more accurate number (maybe 5?)

2 more communions

1 more session meeting (Aw, gee! Can't I skip that one?!)

2 1 more ESL classes

~~1-3 more presbytery committee meetings, depending on whether or not I feel like going~~ Finished!

1 more presbytery meeting

1 more community ministry board meeting

I Like This

2009-05-18T17:26:00.001-04:00

HT: Sojourner's Verse and Voice for today:

"When you pray, move your feet." (African proverb)

Countdown

2009-05-14T22:44:00.001-04:00

When I was in high school, I kept a 'countdown to the end of school' calendar taped inside my locker for the last month of school. When I was a high school teacher, I kept a 'countdown to the end of school' calendar taped inside my lesson plan book beginning about halfway through the last quarter. (Who knew that teachers counted even more fervently than students?!) For some reason I loved counting down, marking each day as it passed.

I find myself counting down again because, while I still don't know for sure exactly where I'm going, I do know that I'm moving on very soon. Here are some of the latest countdowns I've figured.

1 more Circle meeting

2 more Bible study meetings (this one makes me sad)

11 more Sundays, although I will not be here for all of them; 7 is probably a more accurate number

2 more communions

1 more session meeting (Aw, gee! Can't I skip that one?!)

2 more ESL classes

1-3 more presbytery committee meetings, depending on whether or not I feel like going

1 more presbytery meeting

1 more community ministry board meeting

I've already experienced a few "last things" that I'm aware of. The one that broke my heart the most was the last soccer game played on Monday. Rosemary will not play with these girls again. Ever. Do you know how sad that is? There are about five of these girls who have played soccer together every year for the past 10 years. For 7 of those years, they played both a fall and spring season. For the last 3 years they made history together, building the first ever girls' soccer program at their school. I wanted to cry after the game on Monday, but I held it in. Her soccer playing has been a huge part of my life too. In all her years of playing, I've only missed 2 games that I can remember: one when I was participating in the MS Challenge Walk and one when I attended the ceremony where my sister received a posthumous award. I came to a couple of games late or left a couple early, standing on the sidelines as long as possible in my preacher clothes on the same morning I had a wedding or funeral. One year I was assistant coach, an experience that changed me forever. Now it's impossible for me to sit through a soccer game. I have to stand and pace.

There will be other "lasts" that will be sad. There will be some that will be welcomed. Somehow naming them, outlining them, counting them down on a calendar helps me prepare myself for their arrival - and their passing.

Bittersweet, you know?

Chicken?

2009-05-14T10:33:00.001-04:00

I will be preaching for a PNC on the 24th. I am excited to have the opportunity to preach in a church on the coast, located right on the ocean. I just learned that I will be able to see the ocean from the pulpit. I hope I don't get distracted and forget to preach!

I just got off the phone with the pastor at the island church. We discussed the flow of their worship and which portions of worship I would like to lead. He is allowing tremendous flexibility in leadership, which I appreciate. He offered the children's sermon, which I considered for a few moments and then passed on, for a few reasons. 1) I am some 10 years out of practice with children's sermons. 2) I won't have any previous interaction with these children (which could be a plus or minus). 3) Children's sermons are the most unpredictable moments of worship, which scares the pee out of me in this trial sermon setting. 4) That one responsibility in worship on that particular Sunday would probably cause more anxiety for me than everything else put together.

So I passed. Does that make me a chicken?

Counting Down

2009-05-03T17:28:00.000-04:00

I'm in the nursery at ESL. My job with the ministry ends at the end of the month. As I look at the calendar, I see that I only have 2 more Sundays to come. We will not meet on Mother's Day. I will be away on the 24th. That leaves the 17th and the 31st. Bittersweet.

Still Recovering

2009-04-30T09:22:00.001-04:00

I didn't even realize until last night that I never posted an update on my weekend trip of interviews. Life is so busy these days! Not to mention that I'm still recovering from the whirlwind that was my weekend.

The hospital interview went fine. The interviewing committee was made up of five chaplains. It was a fairly easy interview, which surprised me. Usually nothing is simple or easy with CPE. We talked about an hour. Then I did the hospital tour. (The highlight: the baby nursery, of course! Nothing like talking to a grandma as she looks in total adoration at her brand new granddaughter!) Then I traveled across town and toured their other hospital, guided by a resident chaplain there.

I left that hospital and drove straight to the beach. I did a quick change in the back of the mommy-mobile. Minivans are good for that, you know. I hit the beach and walked, and walked, and walked. That's what beaches are for, isn't it? When I got tired I sat down to listen to the waves and watch the tide come in. Peace. It was wonderful. It took a seriously grumbling stomach to chase me off the beach - some 2 1/2 hours later.

I had a great girl's night out with my UMC pastor friend. We had some fun, light-hearted moments, but some rather serious moments as well. This is the anniversary month of the death of our mutual friend eight years ago. K was with Susan when she died. That heartbreaking event changed both our lives forever, in part by bringing me and K into the same circle. Oh, the crazy ways our lives have intersected since! I think we both needed to process our loss together. Sobering, but healing.

I had a restless night. Too tired. Too anxious. Too much good food eaten too late at night. And ironically enough for a woman who so looked forward to being away from home alone, too lonely.

My church interview began at 10:30 Saturday morning. Only 3 of the 5 committee members were there - the other 2 were out of town. We had the 'official' interview there at the church from 10:30-1:00. At 1:00, they took me to a great little Greek restaurant for lunch. The conversation continued, but much of our lunch conversation was more social in nature. I learned a lot about each of their families and some about the community. After lunch they gave me a driving tour of the town. This was helpful to me, because all I knew of this town was what I had seen just off interstate on my trips through. There are neighborhoods and a cute little downtown that I never would have found on my own. Once we were back at the church, we talked just a few more minutes before parting ways. At 4:15. Almost six hours after we began. Phew! I have to admit that it was fun though. They were friendly, gracious people - easy to talk with. We had some good conversations. But for this introvert, almost six hours straight of being 'on' is enough to put me under for at least a couple of days afterwards, which it did.

The outcome of the weekend so far? I received a letter yesterday saying I've been accepted into the CPE residency program beginning the first week of September. I am supposed to let them know within a week whether I plan to accept. I need more than a week to make that decision, however, because the church conversation is still on-going. As soon as I work up the nerve, I will ask them for an extension. I am scheduled to return on May 24th to preach at a neutral pulpit for the PNC. We all wanted an earlier date, but that was the earliest they could coordinate with another church and with each committee member's schedule.

I looked ahead at the lectionary for that week and had to chuckle. The Acts passage is about selecting leadership - the casting of lots to decide between Matthias and Joseph/Barsabbas/Justus as the replacement for Judas. God's sense of humor again! Should I bring dice to hand out to the PNC members?

In the meantime, I am calling and talking to the church's references listed on their church information form. I held off on making the calls until after the interview. I wanted to be able to go into the process with an open mind. Now I am ready to know what others say. I had a good conversation with a former pastor yesterday. I will call their presbytery exec today. We've talked before, but not specifically about the church's strengths and weaknesses. The third reference listed is an elderly woman, a church member, that one of the PNC members referred to several times as "The Boss." Tell me that isn't a loaded nickname! That should make for an interesting conversation. (And please, God, don't let me say anything stupid that will offend "The Boss"! LOL! I managed to offend "The Boss" at Small Church less than 3 years into my time here. One never fully recovers from such!)

Interesting note: a popular television drama is filmed in this town. They drove me by some of the filming locations and while I haven't watched the series, I recognized these places just from commercials. In this series, anytime they have a scene set in a church, it is the church where I interviewed. Fun! If I am called there, think I can work my way in as an extra??!! Nah. I'm not exactly photogenic. LOL! Regardless, I see a trip to Blockbuster in the near future so I can catch up on the series.

Moving On

2009-04-22T22:34:00.001-04:00

Small Church held a congregational meeting on Sunday to vote on the agreement that the session and I hammered out last month. While a number of members had talked privately to me about how they didn't like what was happening, the vote went without a hitch. The vote was a formality really. No matter what the vote, I'm out of there the very, very first chance I get.

Speaking of chances to get out, I have two interviews coming up at the end of the week. Both interviews are in the same city, about 3 1/2 hours from Small Town. It is a place I think I would like living. A lot.

The first interview will be on Friday afternoon. This interview is for a year-long CPE residency program. This is something I would like to do. I think it's likely that this would be a pivotal time for that kind of training and personal work. The problem is the pay. Pitiful. I'm not at all sure I could survive. In fact I know I couldn't without some kind of supplemental job or money raining down from heaven. It does have health insurance that is also available to the kids. That is key. And it does pay more than unemployment! If nothing else, simply writing out the CPE application essay questions was good for me. Introspection is needed these days.

The second interview will take place on Saturday morning. It is a church interview. The church is a small church, but not nearly as small as Small Church. It hosts their presbytery's Hispanic ministry, a ministry that is near and dear to my heart. A good friend of mine, a former colleague in this presbytery who moved there a few years ago to head up a new church start, seems to think it would be a good match. I sent them my information back in January. For a couple of months now I've been hearing from my friend, from their EP, and from my EP that they were calling me for an interview. I waited, and waited, and waited. The chair of the committee finally called last week to request sermon tapes and a phone interview. When I mentioned that I would be in town this week, he quickly jumped on the opportunity for a face-to-face meeting. Phew! I hate phone interviews! We'll meet around 10:30 for the interview, followed by lunch together.

So Friday morning I'll send Rosemary off to school and pack up my stuff and my little ones in the mommy-mobile. I'll meet my parents along the way to drop off the kids. Then I'm on my way. Alone. ALONE! This is not a vacation, mind you. I've got to make sure I focus on both interviews. I need at least one of these opportunities to work out. Still, from mid-afternoon on Friday until Saturday morning I'm on my own. I can meet up with friend(s). Or not. I can go to a movie, or sightseeing, or to the beach. (With the weather forecast predicting sunny skies with a high in the lower 80's, I'm thinking the beach is sounding good.) Then again, I could go to the hotel and sleep. Ah, sleep. What does that feel like again? The trip will be too short with periods of high stress - or at least periods of focused energy and effort. Who knows? If the chemistry is right, the interviews could be (almost) fun!

Even if the trip is short and potentially stressful, I can't wait! I love nothing more than being a mommy, but after last week (a son with strep and a daughter with pneumonia) and this week (with its three soccer games, recuperating patients, and a soccer player with a new knee injury) even a short period of time with no one to take care of except myself sounds like pure heaven.

All week long I've been trying to prepare myself for the interviews. The church interview in particular is challenging. After being both burned out and so recently burned by the church, I'm having to work hard on taming my cynicism. After having so many ideas shot down and opportunities squandered by my current church leaders, I've been guilty of settling for less than I would want - from the church and for myself. The reading and brainstorming has been good for me, even if I do have to tell my injured, cynical inner voice to shut up when my more genuine, idealistic pastor self gets excited about possibilities.

I'm not nervous - yet. But I do have a couple of questions for you. First, what is the appropriate attire for a Saturday morning interview? Same as any other time? What's the best bet for looking professional but not overdressed, not knowing if the committee sees a Saturday as less formal somehow? I hate worrying about stupid stuff like clothes, but yet I know how important a first impression can be. And second, from those of you who have interviewed recently, what questions were you asked that you wish you had been better prepared to answer? And what questions are really important to ask? (It is, after all, a two-way interview. Not only do I need to be a good match for them, but also they for me.)

And finally, please pray. I am so ready to have a direction to move toward, an opportunity to be excited about, and a location to call my new home. Maybe . . .

Ponytails Conquer All!

2009-04-22T21:38:00.001-04:00

The Saturday before Easter was Emily's first real big-girl day out with a friend. Her best school friend, Ellie, invited her to an Easter egg hunt with her church followed by girl time at her house. When I talked to Ellie's mom, she mentioned something about a church member dressing up as the Easter Bunny. I warned her that Emily is petrified of the Easter Bunny. Petrified! She assured me that Ellie felt the same way and she would make sure the girls stayed clear.

I took Emily to the home where the egg hunt was taking place. They had a beautiful, large field behind the house - perfect for a large egg hunt. I pulled up beside Ellie's mom. We got out and did the mom thing - programmed each other's cell phone numbers in our contact lists. About that time the girls spotted the Easter Bunny on the other side of the field. Ellie squealed "Oh no!" and promptly squatted down and hid behind her 17-month-old little sister! Too funny! I tried to get a hug and kiss from Emily as I prepared to leave, but she would have nothing to do with that - big girls don't need that kind of hovering attention!

I picked Emily up from Ellie's house some 6 hours later. She'd had a blast and was nowhere near ready to come home. Ellie's mom pulled me aside and showed me a couple of priceless pictures from the egg hunt. I was thrilled to get copies of them today.

Ponytails - Wonder what they were talking about?!

Conquering our fears! You go, girls!

He Does It Again!

2009-04-20T16:30:00.001-04:00

Christians at Play

A Must See

2009-04-14T11:51:00.001-04:00

This is making its rounds across the internet and in many blogs, but if you haven't seen the amazing Susan Boyle from Britain yet, then please click through and watch this. Amazing.

Going Away Gifts

2009-04-13T17:26:00.001-04:00

Warning: Snark alert!

I found an excellent parting gift for the elders at Small Church. What do you think?

Good Friday II

2009-04-10T17:20:00.001-04:00

It is truly a gray day. We've had a series of showers and thunderstorms to blow through already and the worst is supposedly yet to come. I'm ready for a night at home. I brought my outdoor kitty in and put him in my bedroom. My outdoor dog is safely on the back porch. They say that hail is a real possibility with the storms headed in, so I want my babies to be safe. Scratch, my biggest scaredy cat, um dog, is lying now at my feet. I have no clue what we'll eat for supper. Mother Hubbard's cupboard is practically bare. We'll find something. A night at home will be worth a cereal or sandwich supper. I think.

Good Friday

2009-04-10T17:09:00.001-04:00

Small Church did not have a Good Friday service this year, so I joined two of my best friends as we drove up the road to a neighboring town to attend a noon service there. Their local ministerial association combined efforts for the service, a dramatic reading of the passion story. As they reached the point where Jesus appeared before the Sanhedrin, someone's cell phone began ringing. And ringing. And ringing. One of the participating clergymen, Judas I think, began squirming. It was his phone, tucked away in a pocket underneath his robe. The program continued even as the pastor squirmed to reach the phone to quiet it. Ring. Ring. Ring. At that point, with a question intended for Jesus, the High Priest read his line: "And are you not going to answer?"

I thought I was going to roll right off the pew. Sometimes you just can't take a preacher to church!