The Charge of the Shite Brigade (a.k.a. Sour Gripes with the kitty CAT)

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9451006.post-1154908582514340642006-08-07T03:45:00.000+05:302006-08-07T05:26:22.653+05:30The Charge of the Shite Brigade (a.k.a. Sour Gripes with the kitty CAT)<div style="text-align: justify;">It's that time of the year again. Thousands (175 thousand last year) of bright, young, impressionable minds are about to attempt an exam that will decide their jobs, their salaries and their marriage prospects. They're all (mostly) fools. Trust me I know. I was a fool twice. I must first state that this is my rant against a system which has comprehensively let me down, broken me and left me to ruin. So don't give me shit about having sour grapes, because I'm fully entitled to. If you're a little lost, I'm talking about the CAT exam and all the other "Em Bee Ay" entrance exams that occur before and after. This is how the system works: More than 150,000 people attempt various competitive exams to gain admission into the cream (butter, milk, paneer and cheddar cheese) of Indian institutes to pursue a post graduate education in Management. A person's performance in these exams will indicate his mathematical, verbal and reasoning abilities. These (or so the Em Bee Ay institutes tell us) are qualities which all managers must essentially have. Hence the exams serve as an indicator of not only of a student's ability to cope with the standard of education, but also of the student's aptitude and managerial potential. Once a student has achieved the desired level of performance in these exams, the student is then (usually) called for a group discussion, extempore, personal interview or some such. These are subjective tests judged on various parameters by teachers, alumni and administrators. On clearing these tests, a student is admitted. Seems like a mighty fine system, yes? Well it's completely rubbish. This is why: Show me the money! Wonder of all wonders! It's all about the money! The entire system works on the most basic of economic principles: When demand increases at a higher rate than supply, prices are bound to rise. So let's see, what exactly is the Demand and what exactly is the Supply here. Demand: An acceptable standard of quality managerial education for over 100,000 students per year. Supply: 6 IIMs with approximately 200 (open category) seats per IIM: 1,200 seats The remaining top 25 colleges in India (at approx 400 seats): 10,000 seats (Going below the top 25 is suicide. It's absolutely pointless.) Total: 11,200 seats So at least 89,000 students go home disappointed or take admission into colleges which will add as much value to them as a tube top does to a Polar bear. Hence, all 100,000 students are at the mercy of the remaining 25 institutes to not treat them like shit. Which they will, because they can. The way they make their most money is through selling application forms. You see, you cannot apply to any of these (top 25) institutes AFTER the results are out. Hence, since it's a percentile based exam and you don't know what score you'll get, you apply here, there and everywhere. These colleges charge approximately Rs.1,000/- per application. So if you want to apply to 25 institutes (since you don't know whether you'll get a 99th percentile or a 89th percentile) you pay all of Rs.25,000. I repeat, you spend Rs.25,000 on a POSSIBILITY that you will get a good score. That seems like a huge gamble (calculated as it were). What's worse is that you get NOTHING for the Rs.1,000 you're spending per college, save for a badly printed college brochure, an envelope and the entry of your name into a list. In fact, NMIMS was so disgusting that they didn't even bother printing application forms, they asked STUDENTS to print out 12 pages worth of application forms themselves and send them in (with an additional Demand Draft for more money in case you qualified for the 2nd round). Doesn't seem like a lot of value for money, no? Add to this whole frustration, the Coaching Classes. These are wonderful institutions that are bright enough to capture your money before it goes anywhere else. You can spend anywhere from Rs.5,000 to Rs.25,000 on classes that will sell you a dream that you've almost already bought anyway- a seat in an IIM. They pay no attention to your current abilities, aptitude or potential and brainwash you into thinking that you're capable of that coveted 99th percentile. Let me tell you, chances are you're not. There is a reason it's called the 99th percentile. Only 1 percent of the people are in there. 99 percent aren't good enough. Statistically, the odds are that you're in the 99 percent, rather than the 99th percentile. It's all very rosey when you go meet the 'counsellors' in these Coaching Classes and they tell you what brilliant potential you have and how their course will help you amplify your strengths are eliminate your weaknesses. But the world doesn't work that way. Everybody cannot do everything, and that's a fact. They sell you a dream, which you buy without really analyzing yourself or your own abilities. It's simple wishful thinking. (Although I don't blame them, they're not philanthropic. They're businesses. They're here to make money. The economics works great for them so why shouldn't they work the system?) So all in all, you pay: Rs.25,000+ for college applications Rs.20,000+ for coaching classes + misc. photocopies, extra tests etc That's Rs.45,000+ for a CHANCE that you will get a good score. Now I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking "That Nandan bastard has no sense of value, the 45k is worth it once you're in. You can't put a price tag on education and a good future. You'll earn that money back in no time." Well you're right, you will earn that money back in no time. But that doesn't mean spending it was worthwhile. I wouldn't complain about the money if the rest of the system wasn't so rotten. Selection or Rejection? Which brings me to the second gripe I have. The selection system is rubbish. It's so rubbish that it's a rejection system. 150 minutes of Maths, Logic, English and Reasoning are NOT enough to judge anyone. There's too much impetus on that ONE day and that ONE exam. Especially since it happens only ONCE a year. That is the first and ONLY criteria for selection (I mean rejection). If you do crap on that test, you're henceforth considered as crap. Too bad if you were sick or constipated or sleepy or whatever. The dude next to you who understood Algebra better is considered a much better candidate- even though he may have no aptitude whatsoever for management. 2 years of your life depend on how well you remember your formulae, how fast you can read, how many words you can memorize, etc etc. Your work experience (not in quantity, in quality), your personal views, your goals, your aims, your ideas and your ambition counts for nothing. The inherent social and business abilities that you have are pointless. If you don't clear a written test, you're simply not worthy- even though everything else in your life may be SCREAMING with worthiness. The system is created to weed out all those below a certain score line because it's so much easier to find the right people. So what if so many of the right people are below the score line. It cuts out the labourous (and seemingly pointless) task of ACTUALLY SELECTING PEOPLE by logical means. Just because it's easier to knock off 89,000 people on the basis of a test, doesn't make it right. And as so many of these institutes will themselves say: "The easiest way, is probably the most wrong". Opportunity Cost. Most, if not all, people will quit their jobs, refuse work, take time away, etc etc to study for these exams. Most of these people are fools. They will gain much more in those 6 months of employment (financially and emotionally) than they would sitting at home learning mathematical tables. They will be stressed. They will be depressed. They will be heartbroken. They will be frustrated. So, to conclude. You spend lots and lots of money. Your money gets you no material benefit. Just a 'chance'. Your natural abilities other than your quantitative, reasoning and verbal abilities, mean absolutely nothing unless you get the desired score. You lose out on meaningful work, money and experience. You send yourself through an emotional roller coaster (mostly downhill) The predicament of these students reminds me of one of my favourite poems. <div style="text-align: center;">The Charge of the Light Brigade Alfred, Lord Tennyson 1. Half a league, half a league, Half a league onward, All in the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. "Forward, the Light Brigade! "Charge for the guns!" he said: Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. 2. "Forward, the Light Brigade!" Was there a man dismay'd? Not tho' the soldier knew Someone had blunder'd: Their's not to make reply, Their's not to reason why, Their's but to do and die: Into the valley of Death Rode the six hundred. 3. Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left of them, Cannon in front of them Volley'd and thunder'd; Storm'd at with shot and shell, Boldly they rode and well, Into the jaws of Death, Into the mouth of Hell Rode the six hundred. 4. Flash'd all their sabres bare, Flash'd as they turn'd in air, Sabring the gunners there, Charging an army, while All the world wonder'd: Plunged in the battery-smoke Right thro' the line they broke; Cossack and Russian Reel'd from the sabre stroke Shatter'd and sunder'd. Then they rode back, but not Not the six hundred. 5. Cannon to right of them, Cannon to left of them, Cannon behind them Volley'd and thunder'd; Storm'd at with shot and shell, While horse and hero fell, They that had fought so well Came thro' the jaws of Death Back from the mouth of Hell, All that was left of them, Left of six hundred. 6. When can their glory fade? O the wild charge they made! All the world wondered. Honor the charge they made, Honor the Light Brigade, Noble six hundred. --------------------------------------------------------------- </div> It is a Charge of the Light Brigade. I feel sorry for those who will attempt this. This is my suggestion for those attempting: <ul><li>If you're working- do not quit. Continue your life as usual.</li><li>Have a back-up plan. Even though you may think you're a surefire entrant into IIM-A, have a fucking back-up plan.</li><li>Be ready to spend lots of money. Understand all your costs in their entirety from the beginning and then make your decisions.</li><li>Don't beat yourself up if you end up with nothing to show for your efforts. It's a bullshit system and it's a risk you took when the odds were against you. Your guilt will serve no purpose.</li><li>Attempt it once. If you didn't do well the first time, you probably won't do brilliantly the second. Understand your costs for doing it a second time.</li><li>Don't do it. If you really want to, go abroad. If you can't afford that, get a job. It's simply not worth it.</li></ul>That is all. </div>Nonedonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15567266352726709177noreply@blogger.com