Wondy Woman

Catch You On The Flipside!

2007-05-07T09:03:00.000Z

Well, this is it - last cheeky post before I board a jet plane.

I've already checked on the inflite website to see what films are showing - hmm, Music and Lyrics, anyone?

I should coco!

The bad news is this - I've got a huge spot on my cheek so all dreams of looking effortless as I step daintily from the aircraft are out the window.

Damnit.

I have also imported this entire blog over to another (better?) place, but I am waiting to make my official announcement until I am properly sorted and happy with the set-up. Over-cautious or what?

Catch you on the flipside, friends.

Interview With A Fish

2007-05-02T10:29:00.000Z

Ooh, just one more thing, if you do just one thing today - check out Shocking Fish's interview - by yours truly.

He's a fab, fab person - one of my best friends in the whole wide world - and he chose to have me at his fantasy dinner party - bagsy sitting beside Emily Pankhurst!

Great answers SF - you're the cat's meaow!

Normal Service Will Resume Soon - When I'm Sitting On't Beach

2007-05-02T10:12:00.000Z

I have to apologise for sporadic posting (and commenting) - and let you know that it is likely that I won't be back until next week - ironically, when I am on holiday and settled down with a nice fruity cocktail and a flower in my hair.

I will be taking my laptop on my travels this time as I figure that I will take this time to see if I really can write.

Let's just say - check back this time next week and I should be able to regale you with some amusing travel anecdotes and photographs.

In the meantime, here are some shots I took from yesterday's frolick in Bluebell Woods (I went frolicking in Bluebell Woods, see) :

Peace out X

This House

2007-05-02T10:11:00.000Z

Today Wondy Mum finally moves into her new abode. It’s wonderful news and I know she’ll be happy there. I think she knows her new home is ‘the one’ because we both felt it on the day we viewed it.

But even though it’s a happy time, I know it also a sad, hard thing to be going through and I have been thinking of nothing else for the past week. Isn’t it overwhelming how much emotion gets trapped within the four walls of a home?

Your habitat is very rarely just a place to set down your weary head, but a real-life circus tent full of highs, lows and all the bits in-between.

This is how I am feeling at the moment. I can only imagine what WM and Wondy Bro are feeling but at a guess I would say our thoughts aren’t that dissimilar at the moment.

Nearly every childhood memory is intertwined with the history of that house. It has contained every squeal of excitement, every giggle, scraped knee, squabble, and raging argument.

It has been showered with blood, sweat and tears – it was our new start, our future and the place I longed to flee to (and frequently did) as an adult.

I have loved every minute of it and I will never forget what it represents – but I also know that memories only really live in one place and that’s nestled in the warmth of within.

We can keep every one of those memories alive by closing our eyes and going back whenever we like.

So I want to write this post today to let WM know that I love her and that she is not alone. Through the stress and the sorrow – this was totally the right thing to do.

Wedding Belle

2007-04-29T18:14:00.000Z

I am alive and kicking - just. If you were wondering, like.

On second thoughts, perhaps nobody was actually wondering and it's just like when you don't log into your emails for a few days and when you do, there aren't any waiting for you...
(Hmpf).

Anyway, I am here.

(No, over here - I'm the redhead - that's it, yep that's me!)

I've been to a wedding, of Rocker's cousin (and my friend) Cat. She looked lovely and the ceremony was really nice.

I'm not really a gushy sort of wedding lover - so I will just entertain you with a few snapshots of the event - and say this: they are a lovely couple who seem very right for eachother, so I wish them every happiness.

I think I pleased Rocker as well, by promising never to put him through the wedding thing. Not that I don't believe in it per se, it's just right now I don't think it's for me - which is great.

It's good to be able to make the decision not to do something that might be expected of me. I'm happy for anyone who does do it - but I excercise my right not to too, you know?

Anyway, a lovely day was had by all. Until I got a cracker of a migraine (down to my constant squinting due to my increasing short-sightedness, perhaps?) and ended up with my head down the toilet.

Nice.

So I was in bed by 9 pm.

Aren't I the Party Animal?!

Email of the Day

2007-04-27T09:25:00.000Z

From my friend jongtaylor:

"Stellar twins NASA/JPL NEWS RELEASE Posted: March 31, 2007
The double sunset that Luke Skywalker gazed upon in the film "Star Wars" might not be a fantasy. Astronomers using NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope have observed that planetary systems - dusty disks of asteroids, comets and possibly planets - are at least as abundant in twin-star systems as they are in those, like our own, with only one star. Since more than half of all stars are twins, or binaries, the finding suggests the universe is packed with planets that have two suns. Sunsets on some of those worlds would resemble the ones on Luke Skywalker's planet, Tatooine, where two fiery balls dip below the horizon one by one. ------------------------------------------------------ How cool is that!!!"

Gotta love shared geekery, people.

One Question:

2007-04-25T19:17:00.000Z

Who killed Kermie?

Pressing Matters

2007-04-25T17:06:00.000Z

Text of the Day, from Shocking Fish:

"What are your thoughts on latex pants?"

Well, where does one start?

Make Me Up Before You Go-Go

2007-04-25T16:52:00.000Z

I’ve been gripped by the icy hand of reality – if I go for a make-up lesson next Sunday then I shall have to arrive sans make-up – which in itself is not a problem, I do often go bare-faced – but… well, how am I really going to feel when I’m sitting under the scrutiny of a stranger and in the middle of a busy store to boot with my far, far less than perfect complexion shining forth?

I have always, always had poor skin. Except when I was a teenager, oddly enough.

It has been almost the sole reason for my poor self-esteem since I can remember (anything else is down to my huge arse), and it’s no laughing matter to see your face in every photograph marred by horrible, ugly acne. Next to my gorgeous friends I could always see the difference: that they were beautiful and I was not.

As it is now my skin has improved tenfold thanks to the Pill and so has my self-image but there will always be the ugly girl inside me, ready to break through at any point – and she frequently does.

I hate the idea of comparing myself to others. Envy is an ugly, harmful thing to the person feeling it – and I have no time for it.

I want to wish everyone well, for I have my special moments too – and we can’t all be perfect. Yet, when I stand next to some people I feel my soul die.

Which brings me back to this make-up shebang – can I really stomach it? Will the poor girl assigned to ‘doing me up’ run screaming when she sees me naked (facially)?

I know it’s self-indulgent to fret about things like this, and I’m darn lucky to have my health: two eyes, a nose, a mouth – but is it normal to look in the mirror and see someone so hideously ugly one day – and normal the next.

I think the answer here is yes. And I’m just a normal girl…

Posing 101 - With Lindsay Lohan

2007-04-25T12:43:00.000Z

These pictures just crack me up.

In other news, the Benefit make-up lesson is booked for a week's time - actually the day before we fly to Thailand - so expect an enthusiastic Before and After!

Muppets

2007-04-25T10:59:00.000Z

By A Beautiful Revolution (as always)

I've Just Read This Book...

2007-04-25T10:50:00.000Z

... it was fab.

That is all.

Smug, Moi?

2007-04-24T18:31:00.000Z

Would it be uncouth of me to chant:

Less than two weeks to go! Less than two weeks to go! Less than two weeks to go!

(in a goofish tone, with proper arm flapping and everything?)

*Ahem*

This time in two weeks, Rocker and I will be in Thailand, trailing our remarkably heavy rucksacks behind us: me probably muttering obscenities under my breath and he, marching ahead, unyielding in his mission to get to wherever it is we are going.

(I hate having to actually move my rucksack, it's ok when it's on a trolley or on the floor, but moving it? Hmpf.)

As it happens I think we'll be making our way from Bangkok Airport to Koh Samui Airport then to some sort of accommodation. I should imagine by then I won't care if I wake up in a cow shed...

Then the next morning it'll be a lunchtime ferry crossing to Koh Phangan where we will be met on the pier by our little friend, Rong - who is insistent he'll be there to meet us.

Can't wait.

You know I can't wait to go exploring again, I can't wait to learn some more of the language, visit some temples, write something and take photographs like there's no tomorrow.

I just can't wait.

In other news, Rocker's sister, Holly and I are going for free Benefit make-up lessons a week Saturday - maybe they'll break me out of my old drag-queen habits?

Interview With A Vamp - Part 3

2007-04-20T14:21:00.001Z

Third time's a charm…

Interviewer: the divine Chica, interviewee: Me!

What was your favourite subject at school and why?

I was best at English and I loved my teacher, Mr. Dobson because he encouraged me to write for fun and told me I had a real talent (ha) – so that was my favourite class because I got to read interesting things and write to my heart’s content.

Does Rocker read your blog?

No he doesn’t. I have never hidden it from him and he has read it before but he decided he didn’t want to read it because it is so personal to me and he felt like he was reading my diary.

I generally don’t write anything that might offend him though, just in case – and I don’t generally mention him in my blog because I feel like I’m talking about him behind his back.

Kate Moss: zero or hero?

Ooh a tough one!

Kate Moss to me is one of the most beautiful women in the world and she deserves serious snaps for two things:

1) Her dress sense. She throws things together like nobody else and always, always scrubs up well,

And b) the simplest thing in the world: she has the sense to never open her mouth, thus creating an enigma. Even whilst being busted doing something terrible, she has never said a word about it, never gives interviews and is never caught uttering something stupid at the opening of an envelope.

It’s genius.

However. I don’t think you can really call her a hero just for that. She doesn’t look like a nice person, she doesn’t look like she can make you wet yourself for laughing, she goes out with an absolute loser, which isn’t setting the best example to her daughter – in short, I think she’s beautiful – but she ain’t no hero to me.

What is your very favourite piece of clothing and why?

I’m no clotheshorse and I hardly ever dress up in nice clothes because I don’t get the opportunity (or I don’t make the opportunity) so I might as well say, I love my jeans.

I don’t have any one piece of clothing that never fails, sadly.

But! There’s a big but coming…

I love a nice accessory and I love statement jewellery – and have lots of faves. I like Perspex bangles and rings, chunky necklaces and I have a really beautiful new bracelet shaped like an octopus that Heather sent me, which I am in love with.

(see below)

What has been your best birthday celebration?

This is easy! I celebrated my 21st in a town called Bundaberg in Queensland, Australia – and I ended up jumping into a fountain in the town centre in my bra with this Canadian bloke I really, really fancied. It was superb!

Basically, I was in Bundaberg for about three months picking sweet corn and peppers for a living and on my birthday we were supposed to work, but rain called it off – so my backpacking buddies and I went to the beauty shop and had our hair and nails done, I bought a new top and then in the evening they threw me a party at the local pub – and we rocked on into the night.

There are pictures – and I look horrendous in all of them – but I had the best time.

And at the end of the night I totally threw myself at the Canadian guy I fancied, but passed out before I got to his lips. Hmmm. We never did get it on after that…

Loved every minute and those were the days, etc.

Thank babe, I enjoyed this - Chica's interview by me, coming soon...

Dinnerladies

2007-04-20T10:52:00.000Z

In the grand tradition of ripping off my friends and jumping on the bandwagon, I bring you my very own fantasy dinner party line-up:

The 6 lucky people I would invite are, in no order of preference…

Barbra Streisand – She has long been my hero, as an actress and as a singer. I would probably just sit beside her staring, because I should imagine she has a great presence and she is the original Funny Girl.

Woody Allen – For his sense of humour (and so I can try on his glasses whilst chatting about how he made such a masterpiece of Annie Hall).

Tim Burton – I am in love with his vision and he is my favourite film director.

Alfred Hitchcock – Does this need an explanation? This man was a mystery to me and I want him there so I can pick his brains.

Haruki Murakami – My favourite author and an all round (I believe) fascinating guy. I’d seat him on my other side and ask him for advice on my ‘writing’.

Julian Barratt – Slightly biased as I have been sleeping with him for the past few nights in my subconscious, but in my opinion, he is the genius behind The Mighty Boosh and I love him as Howard Moon. The Boosh is my favourite comedy in a long time, if not ever – so I want to spend my time in his company, soaking him up.

Now, what to cook?

Wrong? Or So Very Very Right?

2007-04-19T22:09:00.000Z

Is it wrong that I keep having erotic dreams about Howard Moon?

I can't help it, geeky guys make me hot.

Grrrrrr.

Interview With A Vamp - Part 2

2007-04-19T18:08:00.000Z

I enjoyed being interviewed so much that I asked me old mucker Shocking Fish to do me - and he has! (Not literally - fnar fnar).

As follows:

If you could change one thing in the world what would it be and why?

I would like to teach the world to sing, in perfect harmony…

(Tumbleweed)

I suppose the obvious answer would be to change this hostile world we live in, into one of peace – and it would be nice but war happens for a reason and I have no idea how to change that. I’d like to think violence could be replaced by a good old-fashioned talking to – but I don’t know for sure.

So I’ll say if I could change one thing it would be women’s negative attitudes to themselves.

I’d like the fashion industry to take responsibility for its part in the Size 00 debate and refuse to use underweight models; I would go around doing my own self-esteem road shows and I would seriously like to look at sizing in UK shops as well…

I’d like women of all ages to learn to love themselves – and it has to be possible!
If you where to become ruler of the world would you be a ruthless dictator or a kind hearted leader and why?

I would most definitely be a kind-hearted leader with a nice sideline in ruthlessness when needed… I would hate to be ruler of the world though so I’d probably crack under the pressure, start dressing like a bag lady and talking to myself.

Start…? Ha.
Do you believe in Keith Chegwin?

There is no doubt in my mind that he is real and that he was sent by Xenu to heal us. He’s like the Easter Bunny and Santa all rolled into one, but more naked.
The world is your stage, what is your talent?

I’d say I’m a natural comedian (boom boom) but my real talent lies in detracting negative attention away from others by dropping stuff and taking the mick out of myself.

I also make great cheese on toast and am quite good at colouring inside the lines.

Hard to answer, because I really have no idea in the slightest!
Milk, Milk, Lemonade round the back fudge is made, but who was the last person to add a little sparkle to your life and how did they do it?

There are many people who add sparkle to my everyday life: Shocking Fish himself, Heather, all my Blogger friends, Rocker… but I have to say the person who has added the most recently is my luminous friend, Fragglehump who I never fail to have fun with.

She totally accepts that I am a dufus, encourages me to take snapshots of everything and loves me like a fiend. And she has been there recently when I was upset about something, despite the fact that her life is way more hectic than mine at the moment.

And I also want to do a special mention to my new friend Beanie, who I have been lucky enough to meet through Fragglehump and whom I also dig – because we have the same sense of humour and she is just beautiful.

Even though I don’t know her well, I know she is going through something unbelievably hard but she still has a smile and a positive outlook – which is incredible.

Inspiration? Not ‘arf.

Thanks SF - I love yoooooooo!

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

2007-04-19T13:06:00.000Z

Yeehah!

Interview With A Vamp

2007-04-19T09:14:00.000Z

You might have already seen this “Interview Other Bloggers” meme floating around, but if not, the basic gist of it is that another Blogger writes 5 questions for you and you answer them.

It’s dead simple, like.

Here are my questions as posed by Heather:

Where and how did you and Rocker meet?

Rocker and I met at work in 2002, whilst we were both working for a cable company. I had just come out of something very messy with somebody else and we caught each other’s eye.

We arranged a date but unfortunately had a blazing row before we actually went on it and ended up not going.

We did become good friends after that shaky start though and remained so for a few months, whilst we both dated other people. Then one day something clicked and we got it on.

That was five years ago.

We are not a perfect couple by any stretch of the imagination (I don’t believe there is such a thing) but we have been through a lot together and we love each other.

So there.
If you could do anything in the world and money didn't matter, what would you choose?

I would go back to school, travel the world (see question 4) and then when I was ready to settle back down again I would be running my own business, which would be a comic shop in Canada, probably Toronto, where I started.

It would be a comic/book store with a coffee shop and I would encourage people to sit and browse all day. I would do it for the love of being a geek and I would embrace anybody who stopped by.

I’d also be taking photography and art classes in the evenings.
Okay, so why aren't you doing that?

Money does matter, so that’s why I’m not doing those things. Maybe one-day things will change but right now I don’t have what I need to start my own business – or to give it all up to become a mature student.
If you could travel to anywhere, other than Thailand, where would you choose?

Japan (Tokyo and Osaka) would be my dream trip. I would also sell my soul for the opportunity to do a road trip across America in a classic car.

There are so many amazing places I want to visit so I will simply list them:

Rio De Janeiro, Brazil
Reykjavik, Iceland
Beijing, China
Mexico City, Mexico
Calcutta, India
If you weren't a redhead, what would you be?

I’d like to be a raven-haired beauty and that is what I would chose if I weren’t a redhead – but I wouldn’t actually change it for the world.

Other people might comment that I really should have been blonde – I can be a bimbo sometimes, and no mistake.

OK, so those were my five.

Here are the rules, if you’d like to participate:

Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me!”
I will respond by e-mailing you five questions. I get to pick them, and you have to answer them all.
You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Don't forget to post the rules!

UPDATE: I would also like to travel to:

Santiago, Chile
San Jose, Costa Rica
The Congo
Reykjavik, Iceland
Warsaw, Poland
Moscow, Russia
Madagascar
The Seychelles
Casablanca, Morocco

Nurturing Nature

2007-04-18T11:38:00.000Z

So far this week I have learnt the correct way in which to catch a rabbit, the incorrect way in which to catch a rabbit (apparently screaming whenever it comes near is a no-no) and how to bath a thoroughbred (I did one all by myself).

I have also learnt that it's impossible for a horse to throw up, but that's another story.

I'm not a country girl by any stretch but I enjoy being in the country, soaking up the fresh air and learning what I can about the differences.

This weekend we're helping to run an Equestrian stall at a horse show in Sherwood Forest. Robin Hood country, baby!

Photos to follow.

All Is Full Of Love

2007-04-17T21:51:00.000Z

Today was heart-themed:

Size 00

2007-04-17T21:03:00.000Z

I've just bitten my tongue in outrage whilst reading Heat - no, not another Mariah Carey pictorial, oh no - much worse:

Superskinny Me: The Race To Size Double Zero.

Erm, ex-squeeze me?

Last month the UK Size 4 was the size de jour, now the media is telling me that even that ain't thin enough?

Should I just go to a surgeon and have my skin removed to cut out all the starving and self-hatred so I can fit into a UK 2?

Is it even possible, even in your bare bones to be that skinny?

I'm reaching for a biscuit as we speak - I am sick of being made to feel like a circus freak for being curvy.

I'm a Size 16 (at least) and I really couldn't give a fuck anymore. There I said it.

I am large and I don't hate myself - Shock! Horror!

I'm going to pin up this photograph on my wall (I don't have a wall!) and I'm going to remind myself every day that happiness is more important that a pair of Size 2 hotpants:

I know who looks the most fun in this trio - and I also know that Kate may be beautiful, but she looks like she has a stick up her ass.

Fuck you whoever is responsible for the 00 dress size.

I Want Never Gets

2007-04-15T17:19:00.000Z

I am in love - with a dark, sleek stranger...

The Canon EOS 400D.

Ain't he a beaut? (One day...)

Something Inside So Strong

2007-04-15T16:17:00.000Z

My friend Chris made this. I think it's hysterical.

Today Has Been A Load Of...

2007-04-12T19:21:00.000Z

ARSE.

Actually, it would be unfair to write off the entire day - as we have had some fun in Nottingham today.

I bought some £1 knickers from Primark.

I must say, should I ever find myself knocking about up North looking for somewhere to settle, like a tumbleweed searching for security - I might consider living there.

Then again, I might not.

But if I did, I do believe it has everything to offer me.