tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-94091202008-07-25T09:38:05.702-07:00eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comBlogger127125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-4437911286083971722008-07-16T12:24:00.000-07:002008-07-16T12:35:43.204-07:00

Every time I turn my television some broad is talking about eating some Bifidus Regularis Probiotic jive yogurt in order to take a better dump. We have Activia, DanActive, Yogourmet, Proviact and Yoplait's Yoptimal all competing for your hard earned constipated yogurt consuming dollars. When did going number 2 become such a problem that eating bacterially fermented milk daily for 6 weeks

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-19216959579960865422008-07-10T12:20:00.000-07:002008-07-10T14:20:37.122-07:00

2 hrs of sleep and off to Newark Liberty. "Drillbit Taylor" on the micro screen means that I get to finish reading 'American Vertigo'-- which is great news. In a world of bullshit job titles Bernard-Henri Levy is a good 'ol Philisophe and I dig what he does. Do you know what 118 degrees feels like? Serious shit, like a hairdryer on high right in your face. The shade isn't much better, it's

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-55625011276264846522008-07-03T11:05:00.000-07:002008-07-03T11:19:30.124-07:00

In every park and on every street in every town lurks the most no game having motherfucker with a gimmick in the world: The Doggie Douche. The DD is slightly worse than that caveman conversationalist known as 'dancing guy' in the world of picking up chicks. With his canine wingman in tow, the douche hits the streets hoping that some dopey broad will start cooing over his prop pet so he can be

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-52740411768122951122008-07-01T10:24:00.000-07:002008-07-01T10:26:15.724-07:00

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-57642608947138692882008-06-30T09:01:00.000-07:002008-06-30T12:55:53.115-07:00

Imagine getting a gigantic package in the mail, opening it with great anticipation and then the coming to the shocking realization that it's a male nude drawing with a farmer's tan. While you're imagining that, I lived it and so might one of you. The Ass Art Back Story: We were in San Diego attempting to lessen the torture that is flying to Australia, drinking in a bar/local art dealership

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-26831666945501371382008-06-28T08:10:00.000-07:002008-06-28T08:17:34.348-07:00

The late 80's/early 90's were a rough time for the good old USA. The streets were filled with homeless people, teen girls were running away and getting pregnant at an alarming rate, there were more than 2000 murders a year in NYC alone and according to noted sociologist Evan Seinfeld "The majority of people are out to smoke crack." A change had to be made. While most people bend over

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-85004716650081376202008-06-26T09:06:00.000-07:002008-06-26T09:27:17.458-07:00

My corner deli offers no less than 17 different penis enhancement products, including the infamous Weekend Prince and Weekend King which have a special spot reserved behind the counter and not on the wall of chemically enhanced boners (pictured above.) There must be a huge market for such things because their selection has quadrupled in recent weeks. I have only witnessed 2 drunken art students

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-74215068478955602852008-06-25T10:00:00.000-07:002008-06-25T10:32:46.995-07:00

I'm pretty socially inept when it comes to certain situations, particularly when it comes to friends and their dates/spouses/goomada's. I have this knack for unintentionally mixing people up with a previous date or current spouse and making it uncomfortable and potentially volatile for all involved. Truth be told: most of you choose unremarkable people to interlock genitals with; people so

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-56120048282396293942008-06-17T15:31:00.000-07:002008-06-17T15:48:43.014-07:00

Yesterday I had one of those "I wish I brought my fucking camera" moments. I was walking home on Broadway, just a block away from the World Trade Center site and there's a poster outside the subway steps of a preserved, beef jerky looking Chinese corpse advertising the Bodies exhibit. Maybe I'm a sensitive little tulip or whatnot, but advertising a dead body show a block away from a place that

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-89564845817906276402008-06-13T16:01:00.000-07:002008-06-13T16:05:00.832-07:00

"CHICAGO (CBS) ? R. Kelly has been acquitted of child pornography charges that he appeared on a videotape having sex with a girl as young as 13 [and peeing on her]. The jury read the verdict shortly after 2 p.m. They cleared the R&B superstar of all 14 counts. Kelly's Attorney Ed Genson said the defense team is "ecstatic." Kelly held his attorneys hands as the 14 not-guilty verdicts were read

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-89854261382868341502008-06-12T14:09:00.000-07:002008-06-12T14:18:58.959-07:00

I wrote the following blog last October 2007 and I'm sorry that I gave you women as much credit as I initially did. Thanks a bunch for this candidate clusterfuck. It's your fault that we have to choose between Hussein and the Crazy Old Guy. Nice one dingbats! Ladies, I beg of you, please put aside your socially conditioned cattiness towards other women and your impulse to screw over your

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-64546384835107390322008-06-11T12:17:00.000-07:002008-06-11T12:52:15.967-07:00

I was walking home from Duke's and a thought popped into my head: 'It's 2008...how can people still be actively racist?' (I know, pretty original) and then I became distracted by what may have been the worst ass ever on a semi good looking girl. It was as if she took a coffee table book and stuffed it down the back of her pants before leaving her apartment. It's 2008....how can chicks still

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-43342329152082245232008-06-10T11:54:00.000-07:002008-06-11T09:43:35.739-07:00

I'm forever ranting against the 'good old days' that never really existed. I make it a point to be as anti-sentimental as possible, but a link to bigreds.com changed all that for the half hour I spent scrolling down a virtual memory lane. Seemingly everything from childhood looks like shit through adult eyes. The great big places you remember turn out to be depressingly small, the places where

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-61855276682851630192008-06-10T09:20:00.000-07:002008-06-10T09:28:29.509-07:00

"June 9 (Bloomberg) -- More than one in four New Yorkers were infected with genital herpes, a sexually transmitted disease that can cause sores and increase the spread of HIV, as of 2004, according to the city's first measurement of the virus. About 26 percent of New Yorkers carried the virus compared with the national average of 19 percent, the New York City Health Department said today in a

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-71463472732765099012008-06-04T12:53:00.000-07:002008-06-04T13:04:39.169-07:00

My girl is on the same wavelength as I am. She's just like me, except: refined, successful, attractive and well liked. Anyway, we're walking down the street with her brother Tom and she spots a funny looking rock n' roller from earlier in the day. As everyone knows, nothing is funnier than an 'I don't give a fuck' metalhead not giving a fuck in public. Imagine if you will, a 6'5", 40 year old

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-80111228129305885732008-06-03T09:10:00.000-07:002008-06-03T11:34:03.436-07:00

Did you ever wonder what happened to the really stupid people you went to high school with? What became of those guys who gave education the middle finger and dropped out of school? How did the mouth breathers turn out? Where are they now? It doesn't take a Gary Spivey to figure this one out. A third of them fell by the wayside: drugs, drinking, crime, insanity, multiple bastard kids,

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-15164397402394217082008-06-02T15:38:00.000-07:002008-06-02T15:54:00.785-07:00

Rocking a beard is the facial hair equivalent of wearing stained sweatpants that reek of Swiss cheese everywhere you go. Unless you are some kind of Van Gogh, your greasy, hairy face is telling the world: "I have officially given up." This city is crawling with the tight jean Mujahadeen and the women who love them despite the Brillo kisses. Whenever I see a beard bro with a girl, part of me

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-60810401365110086382008-06-02T15:34:00.001-07:002008-06-02T15:38:00.023-07:00

I'm no Johnny Conspiracy Theory, but have a look at this dude, listen to him and tell me that their isn't something there. Powered by iSOUND.COM

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-17668690717497288402008-06-02T11:33:00.000-07:002008-06-02T11:49:32.061-07:00

My fellow snot nosed, runny eyed pollen allerics, allow me to inform you what that dastardly super villain Mike Bloomberg is up to now. That evil SOB is trying to get well intentioned NY'ers to plant a million new trees in the city in order to make our lives a living hell-- forcing us to live a bubble boy, air conditioned existence; keeping the fresh air for his fancy, rich, Claritin peddling

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-79979729177833895122008-05-30T10:18:00.001-07:002008-05-30T10:18:57.201-07:00

Jumpstyle Tutorial (English)

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-33354216041966391702008-05-29T12:10:00.000-07:002008-05-29T12:46:54.462-07:00

It's not a proper vacation if you don't accomplish the following: 1- Eat too much 2- Drink too much 3- Be near a body of water; natural or man made 4- Get a horrible sunburn 5- Have sex with a stranger Considering the fact that I traveled with my wife, 4 out of 5 ain't bad. I arrived at the airport breathing like Tony Soprano due to my awesome chest congestion. "The Bucket List" is an awful

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-10765939126344098452008-05-28T13:18:00.000-07:002008-05-28T13:24:36.983-07:00

HOW COULD THIS NOT WIN? For you dopes who don't know the greatness that is the Eurovision Song Contest; learn something courtesy of Wiki: "The Eurovision Song Contest (French: Concours Eurovision de la Chanson)[1] is an annual competition held among active member countries of the European Broadcasting Union (EBU). Each member country submits a song to be performed on live television and then

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-26708458100952367472008-05-13T12:36:00.000-07:002008-05-13T13:34:00.998-07:00

I never had the stomach for Southern Hip Hop. I blamed it's slow mumbled verses on everything from the heat and humidity to greasy food and the semi-literate repetitive hooks on crappy schools in the Southern US. Because of my overt whiteishness I had no clue that Codeine cough syrup was to blame for this 8 year musical abortion. PURPLE DRANK From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia • Purple

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-90117141706864561472008-05-13T11:17:00.000-07:002008-05-13T12:28:47.095-07:00

There is nothing simpler in this world than a man getting a haircut. Although that is clearly the case, the estromen are trying to muck up yet another masculine truth. A fella should never, ever go to someone who lists their occupation as a "hair stylist." Hair stylists are great for 2 things: dating and doing women's hair, that's it. I'll take it one step further and say that a woman's hand

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9409120.post-64267241607532575262008-05-12T13:57:00.000-07:002008-05-12T14:11:07.698-07:00

I'm pretty old school when it comes to fashion. I wholeheartedly agree with the French that clothing for fat people should be hideous enough to shame them into losing weight in order to dress like a human being again. Since I'm a chubster living in the land of the fat and home of the Big Mac, things have taken a weird turn lately at the fat guy store. Instead of every shirt looking like a

eddiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05588122536872403905noreply@blogger.com