What Fresh Hell Is This?

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-93521662009-07-09T21:56:01.078-07:00What Fresh Hell Is This?.Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.comBlogger827125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-3260173368472677652009-07-09T21:55:00.000-07:002009-07-09T21:56:01.086-07:00I vant to be alone.

Want attention? Become a recluse.From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-1662721856906450762009-07-09T15:38:00.001-07:002009-07-09T15:38:57.260-07:00Ab Awe

"Awesome" is the straight word for "fabulous".From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-20476730394898589892009-07-08T14:54:00.000-07:002009-07-08T14:55:05.321-07:00Food for thought.

Food is just that stuff that goes under butter.From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-6475267151147959132009-07-06T07:52:00.000-07:002009-07-06T07:53:57.907-07:00It's in a better place now.

Tim told me that a leg on one our chairs was broken. So I took it out back and shot it.From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-50933479821754067842009-07-04T12:08:00.000-07:002009-07-04T12:10:31.074-07:00This actually happened.

At a restaurant I ordered venison. My friend remarked, "I hope you realize you're eating Bambi's mother." I said, "At these prices, this better be Bambi."From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-66211090435659475582009-07-02T11:29:00.000-07:002009-07-02T11:30:04.371-07:00A handy phrase if said correctly.

"Oh my. That was an unfortunate remark."From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-12642955643770312252009-07-01T20:00:00.000-07:002009-07-01T20:01:31.793-07:00Friends and family showed up at my door at the first commercial.

I'm completely addicted to a reality show called "Intervention".From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-55399842212864900112009-06-27T07:30:00.001-07:002009-06-27T07:30:59.403-07:00Michael Jackson

The biggest tragedy in all of this is, of course, we're going to have to listen to LaToya interviews.From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-24130305406105729522009-06-26T08:19:00.000-07:002009-06-28T08:21:39.918-07:00Farrah

When someone remarked every teenage boy had a Farrah Fawcett poster, Tim remarked, "Well...nine out of ten boys did."From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-63945040711834457522009-06-21T12:08:00.001-07:002009-06-21T12:08:55.851-07:00Seriously....

Text message to co-workers: "Poop at home!"From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-11649773107940535722009-06-19T10:03:00.000-07:002009-06-19T10:11:15.677-07:00Can you hear me now?

The best thing about talking on a cellphone while driving is I really can't hear all the people honking at me.From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-61861685702617854812009-06-03T12:42:00.001-07:002009-06-03T12:42:57.328-07:00Ogden Gnashed

When trying to write poetry,I get all to and froetry.From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-37922035908681122912009-05-28T10:22:00.001-07:002009-05-28T10:23:02.738-07:00None of his business really.

I ordered coffee at a diner. The waiter said, "Regular?" I said, "I will be after I've had my coffee."From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-53683920206938655942009-05-28T10:20:00.000-07:002009-05-28T10:21:55.508-07:00Fly's down.

When I got on the elevator this morning, a fly flew in just before the doors closed. I thought, "That has got to be the laziest fly I've ever seen."From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-28628618933017789552009-05-27T08:39:00.000-07:002009-05-27T08:40:20.577-07:00To be honest? She doesn't smell so good.

Korean drag name: Kim CheeFrom the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-55963499248611590222009-05-22T11:36:00.000-07:002009-05-22T11:37:16.554-07:00Lady GagGag

Text message to Lady Gaga: I can read your poker face. It's just not a great read.From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-7921011231735481122009-05-20T10:11:00.001-07:002009-05-20T10:12:03.120-07:00Sorry Dad.

The argument "if it was good enough for my father, then it's good enough for me" doesn't hold water. Wearing wingtips and black socks on a public beach was "good enough for my father".From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-33615979364712378172009-05-18T15:58:00.001-07:002009-05-18T15:59:26.073-07:00Drink drivers

If you're not supposed to drink and drive how the hell am I going to drive myself to drink?From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-16566654324763455012009-05-18T10:31:00.000-07:002009-05-18T10:32:05.149-07:00Nosey

I've cut way back on my nose-picking. Just mine and a few close friends'From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-83442900209944156902009-05-18T08:02:00.000-07:002009-05-18T08:03:28.846-07:00Not like in the old days.

It's hard to find pure evil these days. Most of it is cut with something.From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-84415680588810402862009-05-16T11:23:00.000-07:002009-05-16T11:24:55.499-07:00

I asked a coworker if he thought there was life after death. He said, "I don't know what's over there but I'm sure we'll be busy."From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-14716191387177482502009-05-15T09:20:00.000-07:002009-05-16T09:53:24.298-07:00Or "whom".

There are two types of people in the world. The type that worries about who's sleeping with who. And the type that worries about who's getting fed.

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-72465842430644256062009-05-14T13:19:00.001-07:002009-05-14T13:50:00.334-07:00Search doggedly

I wouldn't trust anyone who would accept a reward for finding a lost dog.

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-69051242621081851692009-05-12T23:14:00.000-07:002009-05-12T23:17:46.631-07:00Is "closed-captionist" even a title?

Officially the hardest job in the U.S. today: the closed-captionist for "The Real Housewives of New York City". From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9352166.post-878974788584949092009-05-10T12:08:00.000-07:002009-05-10T12:09:03.961-07:00Buh-bile

There's nothing worse than an alcoholic who wears his liver on his sleeve.From the blog: What Fresh Hell Is This?

Bernie Keatinghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09911350123371541780noreply@blogger.com0