Sex, Toys, and Videotape

Sex-Toys-Videos.net

2009-06-18T01:56:00.004-04:00

Jack's Leg Show 2 has just been released on Blu-ray™ by Digital Playground (on June 18).

The disc, as you might expect, is a continuation of the subject matter from the original title in the series, Jack's Leg Show (which was released on DVD in early 2007). Robby D - the director of both installments - this time around brings us an even kinkier, hotter look at beautiful, long legs and sexy, petite feet.

The title stars Shay Jordan (witness the box cover below), who gets it on with Mick Blue in a hardcore foot fetish fest (try saying the latter part of that sentence three times fast). The delightful Hannah Harper shows up to work Scott Nails' "lower extremity" into a frenzy with her lower extremities. Next comes Dianna Doll who wraps her gorgeous gams around Blue's body as they fuck each other into oblivion. Blue then has the pleasure of masturbating with the aid of Jaylnn West's pretty toes. Not to be outdone is Tommy Gunn who follows the long road up Cayton Caley's sumptious legs to destination Pussy...

But don't just take our word for how good the production is. See the Jack's Leg Show 2 trailer at the Digital Playground website, and be prepared to be whipped into a fetish frenzy.

The Blu-ray disc extras include trailers to other DP releases, and a gallery of photos. Some of the specs for the disc include:

121 minute run-time
16:9 widescreen format
5.1 digital surround sound
no regional coding

On why the company released Jack's Leg Show 2 on Blu-ray (versus DVD), DP founder Joone said, "A common attribute for a fetish series is an attention to detail, especially a focus on a part of the female body that the consumer wants to view with absolute clarity...(as far as this disc format is concerned) There is no better way to view a fetish movie."

Check out the trailer and then go rent or buy Jack's Leg Show 2 - you'll see exactly what he's talking about...

Gina Lynn Collection

2008-05-13T20:48:00.003-04:00

California Exotic Novelties recently released 3 more additions to the well-established Gina Lynn Collection Signature line of its adult toys. April 2008 saw the arrival of the Gina Lynn™ Glitter Dual Probe™ in two distinct colors (pink and purple), and the Gina Lynn™ Pink Harness with Stud®.

The Glitter Dual Probe™ combines form and function to deliver stimulation to the g-spot and the anus. It's soft and it's pliable, created just right for women. Besides being highly-feminine, the Probe is slim and very sleek. Note, the pink version of the toy is not available in our store at this time.

CE Novelties has taken the typical dildo harness and "softened" it (so to speak) in the Pink Harness with Stud®. This cushy, soft, 4-snap universal harness is well-padded, double-stitched and most secure. The straps will not chafe the skin and they can be adjusted. As a bonus, the Pink Harness with Stud® comes with a hidden pocket that can hold any small vibe, egg, or bullet that you may have.

You haven't seen anything this pink look this good since - well, never mind...

Speaking on the new releases from his company, a California Exotic Novelties executive spokesman praised Gina Lynn, along with her line of toys. He called her "beautiful" and "phenomenal", and a person whose name carried a lot of import in the industry. In his words, she has a stable of very loyal fans who clamor for more of the pornstar's products.

The Gina Lynn™ Pink Harness with Stud® and the Gina Lynn™ Glitter Dual Probe™ are the company's answers to that increased demand.

Sex DVD Review - Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Oral Sex #01 - Cunnilingus

2007-09-30T01:33:00.002-04:00

Have you ever seen the ongoing HBO Real Sex documentary series? For those of you that haven’t (and boy, you don’t know what you’re missing), the show profiles different aspects of sexuality of - for the most part - normal people like you and me.

For those of you that have seen the HBO show, Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Oral Sex #01 – Cunnilingus is reminiscent of a typical episode of

the show. There’s the sex instructor conducting a lesson in a workshop in front of a handful of couples – check. There’s the live nude model that is used for “demonstration” purposes . Check. And then there are the spotlight scenes featuring two separate couples in sit-down interviews baring their sexual souls in front of the camera, before (and after) they bare everything else. Check and check.

What’s different about Oral Sex #01 compared to Real Sex ? Well, instead of the seasoned sex mind of, say, a Nina Hartley (whose own instructional DVD I recently wrote up) or a Lou Paget – who have both been integral parts of the HBO series in the past - we have the young-ish pornstar Justine Joli at the head of the class. (Incidentally, Joli is also a co-host of sorts in Hartley’s fare).

Moreover, this DVD differs from the network show by providing pop-up text in balloons which serve to emphasize the narrative. Writer/Director Tristan Taormino, a newspaper columnist and sex expert, does the in-scene voice-over honors herself.

Finally, what’s also different is that Expert Guide To Oral Sex #01 – Cunnilingus , as you can imagine from its name, is allowed to get graphic where the documentaries could not. (HBO may be a premium cable channel, but it’s still not Spice Uncensored) And each couple’s spotlight feature turns into a full-fledged scene of about 25-30 minutes apiece. Understandably, Real Sex vignettes have a time-constraint imposed by the length of the show’s airing time.

But the explicitness of this appropriately-named Expert Guide is definitely a good thing, because this production spares no detail in telling you exactly how to go down on a woman. As examples of two good oral techniques, presented here for your information (and viewing pleasure) are the Flick-your-tongue-up-one-side-of-the -inner-labia-over-the-clitoral-hood-and-down-the-other-side-of-the -inner-labia method; and the Ice Cream Lick (which is just as self-explanatory a title in its own right).

And who knew there were so many things one could do with cushions and wedge-shaped sponges? I can’t say you’ll be propping up yourself and your sweetheart like a pro after you watch Oral Sex #01 – Cunnilingus, but you’ll be well on your way to doing so.

Granted, some of the ideas and instructions in this instructional DVD are just plain intuitive – like having the guy break for a while and stop licking if his neck gets sore and his tongue starts to go numb. (Really? Oral sex is supposed to be pleasurable for both parties and not feel as if one is getting hanged at the gallows? ) And discontinuing what you’re doing to her genitals if she winces or in some other way intimates (like saying it out loud) that she is uncomfortable.

Director Tristan Taormino divides her Expert Guide into three well-defined parts. In the introductory scene, like I briefly mentioned earlier, Justine Joli explains to a rapt audience of couples in words and pictures the intricacies of the female anatomy (and wouldn’t you be paying attention if you were in the room? ). Enter Exhibit A, otherwise known as adult actress Ariel X.

While explaining just how to get a woman off, Joli begins to poke (in a good way), lick, finger, kiss, and suck on the “demo model” in front of watchful eyes and listening ears. She does drive her point - which is basically the one at the tip of the dildo she brought along – home eventually.

As for the following two couples scenes, porn performer Kelly Kline and husband Richard Kline make up the first duo while Cindy Crawford (also an adult industry vet, not the mainstream model of course) and partner Jack Lawrence anchor the Oral Sex 1 DVD. The women here are certainly easy on the eye... So I don’t think I’d be going out on a limb by saying the vast majority of heterosexual males (as yours truly did) would get off seeing these ladies squirming in carnal pleasure with tongues between their legs.

And yes, I do know female adult actors can be very adept at “faking it,” so to speak. But, if I do say so myself, I can say with a lot of assurance that both of these women really orgasm on camera.

Besides, they’re not just mixing it up with some paid male pornstars (although, I’m sure the guys were also reimbursed quite nicely for this venture) . Kelly Kline and Crawford are having sex with their actual life mates. If anything, each couple probably “performed” their particular scene until they got it just right for filming.

In conclusion, this Expert Guide To Oral Sex #01 – Cunnilingus pretty much stays focused, on topic, and true to its name: the only hardcore – if you want to call it that – involves insertion of a dildo (as discussed before), while the only blowjob is part and parcel of a 69-position hookup.

However, I should mention that there are several bonus scenes not part of the main feature (and what would a DVD be without the extras?) that independently showcase the use of toys; provide safe sex tips; and continue the Joli-Ariel X sex romp in a room all to themselves and away from nosy students.

To sum up, Tristan Taormino's Expert Guide To Oral Sex #01 – Cunnilingus is both a pussy flaunter’s and a pussy worshipper’s wet dream. How you get that spot stain out of the cushions and upholstery is entirely up to you...

Expert Guide To Oral Sex #01 - Cunnilingus

Porn DVD Review - Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 4

2007-09-19T13:41:00.001-04:00

I'll have to admit, I've never presented for review (or even watched, for that matter) an orgy DVD. However, if just about all of the other orgy DVDs are as average as Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 4 , then you and I are not missing much.

On the plus side, for a production devoted specifically to a genre of porn- i.e. big butts - the eight girls featured here certainly run the gamut. There are (as you can see from the photos)

black girls and white girls (and all races in between), tall girls and short girls, girls who are skinny on top but flare from the waist down, and girls who are thick all over. But(t) that's okay; that just means there's something for every booty aficionado.

However, some of these girls (more than one or two, and certainly enough to notice) look like they would rather be somewhere else (I'm not going to name names). On the flip side, there are some girls who seem to have a lot of energy and are the (porn) stars of the show - like Vanity Cruz (she's the one in the pink bikini in the photos, and also the one wearing the green-bottom shorts that say "Wet"). Besides, she is the only one that does anal, which is a big plus.

What else is wrong with Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 4 other than some of the girls' attitudes? To start, let's take the sound editing. That fake moaning porn star gals do (and they are good actors in that respect) is at best ineffectual to the mood, and at worst very distracting and annoying. Now, for those of you who are new to an orgy DVD, imagine that wailing sound (which is more of what it felt like) multiplied by 8, AND as background fodder to an on-camera scene that the sound is not even a part of. Again, very distracting.

And, when you consider that many production companies actually add extra moaning soundtracks to the finished product, shame on the sound editors if they did add more sound to produce this cacophony.

And there's another problem with the sound, as if what I described wasn't enough. Let's say, while the camera is on one couple or threesome, you hear what sounds to you (hard to believe) like a sudden legitimate scream by one of the girls. If you want to know who screamed or what specific act caused that scream to be made, and the sound did not come from the girl the camera is currently on, you're out of luck.

Moreover, as far as the girls' individual airtimes are concerned, let's say you have a favorite girl. You want to see as much of her as possible. If Wet Ass Orgy 4 were a straight gonzo production, you could fast forward to her scene and watch it to completion. Not so with an orgy. Here, you'll just have to wait until the camera pans to her corner of the room. And rest assured it's not going to stay on her for very long - just as you're getting into her pairing or menage a trois, whoops!, there goes the camera.

And keep in mind that this DVD is (as most adult DVDs are) divided into chapters based on each part of the sexual repertoire. That is, when the intro ends and cunnilingus starts a new chapter begins; when it's time for fellatio, it's time for another chapter; and so on when it comes to vaginal intercourse (which, in and of itself can be divided into missionary, cowgirl, doggie-style, and all other sorts of positions), anal, cumshot, etc.

So other than the money shot chapter, which is usually very short (as you would expect) in just about every adult DVD, the rest of the time allocated for each sexual position is pretty much set - if that act is going to be in there at all (a lot of non-feature flicks skimp on the pussy-eating). So in Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 4 for the blowjob chapter, let's say, odds are you're only going to see your favorite girl one-eighth of the time.

Now if you like the look of every single one of the women, then the division of airtime is not going to be a problem for you; because everywhere the camera turns, you'll see something that you like. But, to reiterate, the DVD has such an eclectic mix of women (other than the fact that they all have full asses, they vary widely in their appearances), odds are that not each and every one - or even the majority - of the women is going to be your type.

So the range in physical types seems to be both a blessing (in that just about all guys who are into big butts will find at least one girl that they like) and a curse (in that for most of Wet Ass Orgy 4, one is likely to find himself watching a girl he's not into).

Sure, the camera does pan back every now and then to take in the whole scene and large sections of the scene. But, there are so many people and pairings and groupings in the orgy, in order to show the entire pornography view, the camera will be so far back you can't see the details of any couple you are interested in. And I realize there are a lot of guys out there like myself who like their porn up close and personal.

Now I guess all the critiques I've mentioned may be par for the course for any orgy filming, and certainly for an orgy of this size. But one coming to Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 4 who is just interested in watching big butts (or one dropping in on a big tit orgy or Brazilian orgy, etc, for that matter) and who is new to the orgy-filming process needs to know these things.

Still, orgy DVD or not, as I mentioned before, only one - out of eight - girls takes a dick in her ass. And in a DVD devoted to the butt...(*sigh*) That meager number doesn't have anything to do with the logistics of the shoot at all. There should be more anal.

So all told, the sex in Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 4 seems average: strictly jack-off material, and then only if you're into big-butted women. The best part of the feature, in my opinion, is after the sex is done and the guys get to rating the girls. Funny and engaging stuff:)

Big Phat Wet Ass Orgy 4

Porn DVD Review - I Dream of Jenna 2

2007-09-05T23:21:00.001-04:00

This is getting too easy. Reviewing ClubJenna / Vivid feature films, I mean. From now on, whenever I review a ClubJenna / Vivid release, I'll just say, "Good story, great sex, loved it, rent or buy this DVD immediately."

But since you came all this way, I'll give you a little more of my take on this particular movie...

I Dream of Jenna 2, of course, is a

follow-up to the original I Dream of Jenna, which was a 2003 multiple AVN award winner. And the 2-part series - as one who is familiar with classic American sitcoms would expect - is a take-off on the old I Dream of Genie show, with Jenna Jameson obviously playing the genie.

Jameson's very funny and engaging in the title role. And she cleans up very well (she's so purrty). In the movie, she's constantly reading from a tome that I like to call the "Carnal Sutra" (I can't remember the actual name of the book) in an attempt to spice up her sex life. She's intent on spicing it up both as a whole, and also with her "master", played by Steven St. Croix.

St. Croix plays the up-to-date Larry Hagman character from Genie, an officer in the U.S. army, while Randy Spears plays his best friend /colleague. And for what it's worth, the on-their-feet acting (stop laughing, I'm serious) by the three main protagonists is better than I've seen in most skin flicks. Maybe it's because Jameson, St. Croix, and Spears have been "acting" in feature films (versus performing in straight gonzo productions) for many, many years now.

The look of I Dream of Jenna 2 (cinematography I guess they call it), as is always the case concerning the elite adult studios, is very good. The film is actually quite funny, and for awhile there I almost forgot this was a skin flick (OK, that might be a bit of an exaggeration). The first sex scene isn't until almost 15 minutes into the movie, which seems like an eternity to someone trying to get their rocks off in a timely manner.

But that's okay because when the fun does start, it (and the actors themselves) cums fast and furious: there's a ton of sex and many sexual situations within a short space of time.

The first sex scene in Jenna 2 is a girl/girl/boy one: Cherokee and Gauge do Spears. It's a nice solid opening foray, nothing too fancy. For those of you who like an extra helping of saliva with your menage a trois', look no further than this spit-fest.

What follows is a dream sequence on a staircase where Steven St. Croix eats out Belladonna. She shows her gratitude by deep-throating him while they're in the 69 position - and when I say deep, I'm talking her nose actually touching his balls while his cock is in her mouth. All the choking, coughing and tearing up aside, Belladonna clearly loves being used as a sex toy.

Of course Jenna Jameson participates in the grand lesbian scene (She was still married at the time she shot I Dream of Jenna 2, and the only man she would have on-screen sex with was her husband Justin Sterling. All women, however, were still fair game to her). The scene actually involves about 7 or 8 (who could tell where one vagina ends and a mouth begins?) broken down into about three separate groups of 2 or 3. Yes, there's a lot of licking, a lot of stroking, a lot of muff-munching; and Jenna Genie gets creative with a strawberry. 'Nuff said.

Just as a quick aside, I've said this before, and I'll say it again: the way Jameson comes onto and plays the aggressor towards other women, she must have been a dude in a prior life.

There's actually a pseudo-second half to this lezzie orgy. TTBoy brings a dick into the room and all is well in the heterosexual universe. He takes on 4 of the girls while Jameson and Belladonna mix it up in a corner somewhere on there own - and by "mix it up", you know I mean serious pussy-eating and petting.

TTBoy brings some serious energy and a motor that just won't quite to the scene. And let's just say he puts paid to the notion that, as a rule, men aren't as good at multi-tasking as women are. He somehow manages to satisfy a quartet of horny women all at once.

This scene is so long I had to divide it into 2 parts. If you're fixing on watching this scene from start to finish - and good luck with that plan because you're probably going to bust a nut way before the end of it - expect to be in front of your screen for more than 40 minutes.

Then, the man-hungry Nikita Denise, who plays the little sister to Jenna Jameson's Genie, ambushes Spears. After putting a ballgag in his mouth (did I mention that this movie was funny?) just for kicks, she allows him to fill her three holes one-by-one. Denise has a very sexy, throaty voice with a nice thick accent (her real-life voice, I ask you, or just another movie prop?). I'm guessing it's because of all of the deep oral cock-ingesting her character does...;)

But, like I previously intimated, Denise is the insatiable sort and not one minute after Spears leaves the room, she summons (remember the title and theme of the movie) another boytoy who finger-fucks her into oblivion, before inserting the real (long) thing. Here, Nacho Vidal admirably fills the role of male-plaything.

In another lesbian tryst, Jameson makes poor Angel Cassidy suck on her strap-on dildo. And how does she (Jenna) reward her partner? By fucking the living daylights out of her using said tool.

The grand finale sex-tuation involves Jameson in a b/g scene with, you guessed it, her husband Sterling. The masked little people (midgets, to the politically incorrect) riding around on tricycles, twirling umbrellas, etc, is just extra...

All in all, I Dream of Jenna 2 is a nice light-hearted romp with more than enough sex to keep you interested. And it stands on its own merit for those of you (like yours truly) who never saw the prequel, I Dream of Jenna.

Sure, the appearing/disappearing "special effects" - which basically consists of striking a before-pose, stopping the camera, removing/applying item/person, then rolling camera again - is very cheesy and reminiscent of Genie and another TVLand network-esque show Bewitched.

But what did you expect? If the effects (along with the soso-acting I mentioned earlier) were good enough for 60s television sitcom fare, they're good enough for a simple porno film.

I guess what I'm trying to say concerning Jenna 2 is, "Good story, great sex, loved it, rent or buy this DVD immediately."

I Dream Of Jenna 2

Pornstar News - Where have you gone Ms Jameson?

2007-08-25T21:24:00.000-04:00

What's going on with JJ, man? After she filed for a divorce from her porn actor husband Jay Grdina late last year, she went and lost all that weight. Jameson said on one of those Hollywood tabloid television shows - which I don't particularly care for (it sounds like I'm making excuses, right?) but I heard her story was going to be profiled so I watched the show - that she ran outside everyday and worked out all the time. And that's the reason she gave for being so skinny. She said she actually got down to as low as 94 pounds at one point.

So my question to her would be, "Well, are you eating at all?" And whose workout regimen was the extremely-svelte Jenna Jameson taking on anyways : that of her boyfriend, UFC (Ultimate Fighting Championship®) fighter Tito Ortiz?

Then, on or about the first of this month, she went and got her breast reduction. Most men would've cried foul over that fact (and I'm sure a lot of men still would), but Jameson's implants did look disproportionate on her thinner frame.

(Facetiously-speaking, I've got to say it figures, doesn't it? She starts hanging out with Paris Hilton, and all of a sudden she wants to be slimmer with smaller boobs. Hmmmmm...:))

Now, and I guess this is the main reason I'm writing this article is to let those of you who don't know, Jenna Jameson has announced she's not going to act in any porn projects ever again. She says she wants to pursue other mainstream business interests like modeling and starting her own clothing line (more Hilton influences?). She also said she was actively "trying" to start a family, with all the fun connotations that statement implies.

I wish I could quote her verbatim from her TV interview - that way I could discern from Jameson's words exactly what options she's leaving open for herself in terms of an eventual return to being a porn actress.

Because, a lot of times as far as legendary performers in particular fields are concerned, they have to come back in the future to what they know and love to do so much. Indeed, that's why they became great in their chosen fields in the first place. Besides Jenna Jameson in the adult industry, the most obvious other example of the personality type I'm describing is Michael Jordan in basketball. And we all know how he kept coming back...

On the other hand, you've got to figure with all these signs -

1. hanging out with non-porn stars like Hilton;
2. dating someone (Tito Ortiz) not in the business;
3. losing all that weight; and, maybe the most significant omen of all
4. getting her implants removed -

Jenna is geared toward taking her life in a complete 180 degrees from her past. If one didn't know better, and maybe I don't so this is just pure conjecture, one would think she's trying to become the exact opposite of everything she's ever previously stood for. Call it a mid-working-career crisis, if you will.

Nevertheless, if there's one thing we've learned about Jameson in the past is that she gets results and achieves the success she sets out to achieve. Jameson says what she means and intends to do, and she means what she says and she intends.

And Jenna Jameson now means these post-porn goals...

Sex DVD Review - Nine Hartley's Guide To Stripping For Your Partner

2007-08-05T18:59:00.001-04:00

Anyone who's known Nina Hartley or followed her adult career for its two-decades plus long span knows that she enjoys sex and the sex business. That point is very evident in her latest instructional DVD Nine Hartley's Guide To Stripping For Your Partner.

That being said, she brings a maturity and legitimacy to this production, so it's not just a pornographic exhibition but a lesson. As a matter of fact, the

first 13 minutes or so of this DVD involve Hartley and Joli just talking and giving an overview of the course material.

Granted, they are sitting there in lingerie, so it's not a total snooze fest for the guys (I assume the women who are watching are totally into the information being presented, but the guys need a little more than just words. :)). They have something to look at, too.

As Nina Hartley herself points out, she's been in the porn business for a long time. And before that, she'd been a club dancer for even longer. So when she talks about grinding a certain way, or better yet when she actually wiggles her body a certain way, you can tell that she knows what she's talking and walking about. See how she does that "butt move", ladies (and you too gentlemen)? Chalk that one up to experience (and great muscle control ;)).

There are actual scenes in this DVD, much like in a gonzo skin flick. The first one (of two) involves Hartley and the male pornstar Marco (Polo!). In the scene, she carries out her lecture with aplomb, managing to speak fluently - without the aid of a teleprompter or cue cards, it seems. And she subsequently acts on her words, while still looking sexy in the process.

You can tell that she's given instructions on sex before. In fact, Stripping For Your Partner is Nina Hartley's 32nd visual media (video and DVD) guide, according to amazon.com. And every bit of that expertise shows.

For example, here's a key point she brings up: women, you have to first and foremost pick a song to strip to that you not only like, but one that you really love and can really get into.

Another important fact (and not to give all her knowledge away in one fell swoop) Hartley mentions is that women, in particular, have a hard time letting go of all the other different figurative hats that they wear during the course of their daily lives: e.g mother, business exec, etc. But this letting-go process is vital if they are to fully immerse themselves in successful wanton stripping experiences.

As you would expect, given the subject matter, there's a lot of sexual movement (I wouldn't necessarily call it "dancing") and dry-humping and teasing in general in this scene. In other words, chicks will dig this...:)

At some point, the CD playing in the background stops and then Hartley and Marco's sexcapade actually progresses into your typical mature-type porno scene with all the accoutrements: oral, vaginal, and anal sex. You know, guy-fare.

There's a bonus tryst (And by "bonus" I mean a strictly carnal event for viewers to gawk at. There are no verbal instructions here.) where Evan Stone strips for Marie Luv, to present the art of disrobing from the male point-of-view. Oh yes, fellas, the Chippendales franchise is successful for a reason.

Physique-wise, Stone, much like Marco (Polo!) in the first scene, is ripped. The scene is very playful to start with, and Stone is, for lack of a better expression, taken advantage of by Luv. She actually brings her 20s to shove down Stone's pants (Still, from what I hear told of what happens in male revues, Marie Luv conducts herself with considerably more decency than those female attendees...)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, yep, women will love this scene too - maybe even more so than the first one. Guys, on the other hand, might find the first part of this tryst a little tedious.

But here again when the music goes down, it's (porno) business as usual. And gentlemen take note: even though there are no outright lessons taught in this scene, and even though it has nothing to do with the art of stripping, you can learn a lot from this male adult industry veteran on the finer points of oral sex. And to the ladies, you wish your boyfriend/mate did you like Evan Stone does Marie Luv.

Th downside to Guide To Stripping? I can't think of one at the moment other than the fact that it might be too short - it's only 77 minutes long. Then again, this is one instance where a little goes a long way.

This DVD works for both men and women. I recently heard one of those sex specialist doctor persons on a talk show say that, for the most part, the genders take these two different approaches to porn: men just like to watch people have sex (duh), while women want to know the circumstances that led the couple to the love-making in the first place. Voila! Nine Hartley's Guide To Stripping For Your Partner satisfies both the male and female curiosity factor. It's the best of both Mars and Venus' worlds.

But just between you and me, I think these so-called "instructional videos" are just a way for the legally wed Nina Hartley to continue to get her freak on with other guys - right under the very nose of her husband (who directed this DVD as well as many of her previous productions).;)

I mean she really does enjoy her sex...

Nine Hartley's Guide To Stripping For Your Partner

Porn Info - Feeling Hot, Hot, Hot

2007-07-28T20:10:00.000-04:00

The August edition of Genesis magazine, featuring its 2007 Porn's Hot 100 list, has already hit stores. If you want to get your own hard copy of the issue, you'd better hurry. (Or you could just click on the link, and mull the list over to your heart's content.) It's been out for several weeks now but I've only just gotten around to talking about it. I did update our pornstar page earlier to reflect this year's (what's the word I'm looking for?) honorees.

And, coming as no surprise, Tera Patrick is number one again for the third time in 4 years.

Now I know how huge (not like that, although the boobs are part of her whole presentation and her overall allure) and how famous she is. And I'm not denying that she does good "work". And in the minds of a LOT of pornophiles, Patrick is the tops. And she would certainly garner a top 10 (nay, five) position on the prestige list of any credible adult source, online or off.

But would the fact that she is a publisher at Genesis magazine, have a little something to do with her top spot on the Hot 100 in 2004, 2005, and 2007? (Tera Patrick became publisher in 2003, FYI)

Nah...;)

By the way, number 35 on the list is Katja Kassin who I recently wrote an article about having "boobed up". It took me awhile to get some pics of her and the new happy couple, but I did and I have now posted the pics at the entry...

And those photos you see to the left? In case you didn't know, they're pics of 5 of the top 6 pornstars on the Porn's Hot 100, in their order of appearance: the afore-mentioned Ms Patrick, Stormy Daniels, Carmen Luvana, Hillary Scott, and Jenna Jameson.

Bon Appetit!

GOP: Grand Old Porn

2007-07-15T04:26:00.000-04:00

This proposed California bill that would levy an 8% state tax on adult goods and services is getting a lot of people bent out of shape - surprisingly, including Republicans. I don't like the proposal either (and I don't even live in the Golden State), and I think it's bad all-around. But there's two points in particular I'd like to cover.

About 6-7 paragraphs into the article (if you read it), they mention a "public nudity" component to AB 1551. I don't get the significance of this clause (though the unprotected sex part I do get). Why punish - excuse me, "tax" - this aspect of adult film production, in particular? While the government is at it why not include, "sex acts that are shot on Mondays on the right side of the bed during a rainy day"?

It seems that they're picking on the porn industry again, as the article says, considering how unnecessarily specific (read frivolous) the laws provisions would be, and considering the fact that the government would be taxing one form of free speech to the exclusion of others.

Secondly, I love how the government is consistent in all walks of life when it comes to taxation: basically, its motto is, if you're going to tax something, tax all aspects of it, going in and coming out and all manner in between.

So to pick up on the article's example, say some lonely businessman on the road rents a skin flick in his private hotel room. In that scenario, all parties involved in that transaction would be taxed: from the businessman, to the hotel that piped in the movie, to the original producers of the adult movie (as the article says, whether they're based in California or not - as long as they do business in the state).

And speaking of Republicans and hotel-room porn (what a segue, if I do say so myself!), I ran into this article concerning Republican presidential candidate, Mitt Romney . Apparently, he's being vilified for maintaining ties to the Marriot group, who provide pay-per-view adult movie services in their chain of establishments.

Speaking to the contents of the article, how do certain conservative action groups know he never tried to stop the corporation's provision of these X-rated productions? For all they know, he might've privately pulled other company execs aside on a constant basis and told them, based on his religion and his position in politics, that he wasn't comfortable with this particular company policy. But, the other members of the board, who apparently aren't so religiously or politically inclined, were at ease with the policy.

After all, nobody denies that offering porn for a price makes good economic sense. The board is constructed that way in the first place: that no one single person's personal beliefs would get in the way of the business of making money.

So at the end of the day, the majority ruled. I mean, not that I'm a shill for politicians at all (much less one for the GOP) but what's the guy supposed to do? He's just one guy on the company's board.

I know, you're saying, "He could disassociate himself from Marriot Corp altogether." And yes he could. If it did happen the way I espoused above and he did previously take his concerns to management, one can only say that he would have dumped a less lucrative or lower profile company than the Marriot. (I use this dating analogy to compare the situation to a woman who gives her boyfriend more chances to screw up if he's rich and famous :)).

Still, I could have forgiven the guy for his decision to stay with the Marriot board - condoning the porn and all - if he hadn't gone and recently preached to that graduating class about the ills of smut. Now he just sounds like a hypocrite. Maybe he should have just laid low on this issue.

Just a thought...

Porn DVD Review - Black Pussy Cats 2

2007-07-09T05:34:00.001-04:00

"What's new, pussycat?" This DVD, that's what...

Black Pussy Cats 2 is kind of long for a gonzo production featuring only six women/scenes - more than two-and-a-half hours. So I guess the buyer gets his money's worth, assuming he's into the gonzo genre and the type of women involved (and, to be truthful, why wouldn't he be if he spent his hard-earned cash on the DVD?). And

speaking of the porn starlets...

For starters, all of the women are obviously black, with the exception being Ice La Fox (and possibly Tatiana Brown, I'm not sure) , who is Latin. Most of the them are very well bootyly-endowed (okay, so "bootyly" is not a word, but it should be). After all, at the risk of sounding politically incorrect, they are ethnic women. There's not very much in the boobage department, all-told, on this Black Pussy Cats 2 DVD; for those of you into that. (And really, speaking facetiously, how many breast-men are there out there? A handful, tops?)

But none-the-less, as Prince would say, several women here who possess the asses that they do outta be in jail - it's almost illegal for them to look so good.

So with that whole crime motif in tow, I'll give you the lowdown on each scene:

When? (The order of this tryst on the DVD) Scene 1

Who? (The starlet and her scene mates) Kapri Styles, 32A; and 2 white guys

Where? (The setting of the sin, I mean "scene") In a bedroom, on a bed

What? (The events of the scene) She starts off playing with a dildo/vibrator.

She gets a vaginal and anal-pounding from the back, and double-penetrated (aka the "dp": a penis in her pussy and one in her ass) in both the cowgirl and and reverse cowgirl positions.

How cum? (A word or two on the money shot) On each of her cheekbones / sides-of-her-mouth (one side per guy).

Why? (The reason for and merits of the scene) Styles is a filthy-mouth fucker (dirty-talker) of the first order. She'll get you hard just listener to her.

When? Scene 2

Who? (DVD covergirl) Ice LaFox, 34B; and two white guys (different from the first set)

Where? On a loveseat

What? Strictly vaginal intercourse: she gets it doggystyle, and in both the reverse cowgirl and straight cowgirl positions. When that's not enough -

and, speaking as a pornophile myself, it never is - she gets fucked upside down with her shoulders to the mat (just a wrestling term for the floor). She manages to keep her mouth full of cock most of the time; an amazing feat considering all the yapping she does.

How cum? Right in her eye - an exceptionally fine shot (not that he was trying) by the guy in question! Here's mud for you...

Why? Ice brings the enthusiastic potty-mouth herself, and she really knows how to yell her head off (on the other hand, it could be a good dubjob by the Black Pussy Cats 2 production's sound editors). Plus, she really knows how to bounce her ample ass-et. There's no anal in this scene, though. I wonder if La Fox even does anal to begin with. I'll have to look into that very carefully...

When? Scene 3

Who? Lady Armani, 34C; two - no, wait - one white guy (let's call it one-and-a-half for reasons I will explain)

Where? On a desk, in an office-type setting

What? The scene starts off with her and two men : she sucks one guy off while the other guy does her in her

pussy. The dick in her pussy eventually moves to her butt (with her mouth still full of the other cock) and she gets it doggystyle and in the missionary position. Then, all of a sudden, the fellated guy leaves - not even halfway through the tryst - never to return (of course, you don't know he's not coming back at that moment). And that's a shame, too, because he missed a very decent rest-of-the-scene, including Lady's ass-to-mouth skills...

How cum? On her full, sensual lips

Why? Ms Armani is a great walking pair of lips and pair of natural tits (I'm sure she has other body parts connected somewhere and somehow). This Lady can be my Tramp anyday. And there's just something about sex in a professional atmosphere (staged or not) - it evokes fantasies of fucking your teacher or a female executive.

When? Scene 4

Who? Vanessa Monet, in a complete catwoman-type outfit (think Julie Newmar / Michelle Pfeiffer / Hally Berry); two ubiquitous white guys (I believe you see them before and after this scene)

Where? On a sofa

What? She crawls in on all fours and

gets right to sucking. The next thing you know (Ms Monet certainly doesn't seem to waste time in her sexcapade), she is getting it in her booty. The other dick is subsequently added to a reverse cowgirl anal position (making the dp), and this is followed up by the cowgirl double-fuck. There's some ass-to-mouth action, a solo ass-bang in the missionary set, then she goes back to woman-on-top and rides toward the scene finale.

How cum? One guy's popshot lands in the general vicinity of (read surrounding) her mouth. The other guy never comes - on camera, at least - in the scene. Poor guy (NOT:)).

Why? Vanessa Monet brings energy to her scene and is completely uninhibited. And getting her ass waxed while in a pair of long stripper boots and donning costumed ears for most of the scene, she's definitely the cat's meow. I just wish the Black Pussy Cats 2 producers had found a way to keep the suit on a little longer. Oh well...

When? Scene 5

Who? Tatiana Brown, who looks like a younger Paula Abdul, in a catsuit (similar to Monet's previously, sans ears and boots); two very enthusiastic white guys

Where? On a sofa

What? She (also) comes crawling in where she begins to suck the guys off,

simultaneously. She's done in her pussy while on her side from the back, then doggystyle, then missionary-wise. She's assfucked in the missionary and reverse cowgirl positions. She's dped in the reverse cowgirl, regular cowgirl, and standing up positions. She also does ass-to-mouth.

How cum? Right into her mouth, and she swallows. Two sperm cocktails, bottoms up!

Why? Because she's the only one on the whole Black Pussy Cats 2 DVD that swallows (mostly), that's why. Although she looks like she's just going through the motions for much of the scene, the guys here actually pick up the slack in the energy department and bring the gusto. Besides, when you're a pornstar who swallows, you can afford to be a little lackadaisical from time to time.

When? Scene 6

Who? Misty Stone, 32A; two white guys (one who, incidentally, looks like a distant cousin of Arnold Schwarzenegger's)

Where? On a sofa (again)

What? She does the double-cock suck while on her knees (like just about every other girl in Black Pussy Cats 2).

As a matter of fact, she seems to keep a cock in her mouth at all times (as with La Fox, that other dick has to go somewhere if not in her ass) - while riding cowgirl, riding reverse cowgirl, and being ridden doggystyle standing up. As for the anal part of the scene, well, there was none...

How cum? Both (referring to the two guys and the two places) on her tongue and lips.

Why? At the risk of interjecting bias in an objective review, "play (more) Misty for me". Her ambiance, smile, smooth ass, and shaved pussy make her my personal favorite. Who cares that she didn't take it between those deliciously round and perfect butt cheeks (I say as a tear forms in the corner of an eye, and one edge of my mouth starts to quiver uncontrollably)?

Overall, I'd give Black Pussy Cats 2 a B / B- . It's a solid piece of work with lots of anal and a generous helping of the extreme sexual stuff like ass-to-mouth, double penetration, and (at least) one cum-swallowing act. Oddly enough, it was in the basics - like girl diversity (which I touched on earlier) and cunt-eating - that I found this DVD to be lacking. There are two cunnilingus occasions, to my knowledge, and both of them are sort of perfunctory; just enough to get the pussy wet enough to slide dicks in. Two 15 second stints doesn't seem to make up for all the head these girls deliver throughout the DVD.

I mean, how could you scrimp on the aspects of twats and licking in a production that has the words "pussy" and "cat" in its title?

Black Pussy Cats 2

Porn, on the 4th of July

2007-06-30T21:04:00.001-04:00

Ah, Smut! What an institution!

Yes, porn is as American as Old Glory, the bald eagle, baseball, Mom (bad visual, must get out of head), and apple pie. So as we the denizens of this great land look back and celebrate our history and independence, while sipping domestic beers at our backyard barbecues and at fireworks displays, let's take a moment to consider the origins of this other national pastime.

For those of you interested in tracing porn back to its roots, consider this very informative article . If you just don't have the time (because that grilled hotdog is just about done) and would prefer another Cliffnotes-esque, timeline version, I'd recommend A Brief History of Porn. Finally, if you're looking to own a good resource on the beginnings of the adult film industry in this country, you could do much worse than The Other Hollywood: The Uncensored Oral History of the Porn Film Industry ...

Pornstars born on July the 4th - and currently active to my knowledge - include Hannah Harper, Eufrat, and Holly Wellin (thanks to the IAFD for this bit of info). Curiously enough, none of them were born American: Eufrat is a Czech chick, while Harper and Wellin both hail from merry old England.

"But," you say, "I don't care where they're from. Where is their porn material, dude?" I thought you'd never ask...;)

Sex Toy Info: If she (or anyone else) builds it, they will cum...

2007-06-23T22:47:00.000-04:00

I want to thank Sue Johanson for giving me the heads up concerning this toy. (WARNING: if you're allergic to bad or questionable puns, you might want to turn away now; this article, as I will unabashedly note in each circumstance, is littered with them.)

It was her television show on the Oxygen cable network that first turned me on (+2) to the Head Honcho male masturbator. Now, according to her website TalkSexwithSue , said

masturbator has been voted Best Toy of the Year by her visitors and viewers. The poll/pole (+3) results were announced in late May of 2007.

For those who don't know, the Honcho is very much like other masturbators in that it fits over the shaft of the penis. When you maneuver the device up and down your member (simulating the jerk-off motion, of course), the (count 'em) 3 suction pockets within the Head Honcho supposedly create the great erotic sensation you feel. It allegedly feels just like a warm vagina.

The toy is made of silicon and is sort of clear (semi-lucent) in appearance, which I hear is part of the appeal to men: they like to see the moment of ejaculation within.

Johanson originally aired her views on The Head Honcho in October of last year (2006). Up until that point, I'd thought that all of her reviews were independent reviews of others' products. I mean, the whole crux of her show was to give unbiased, pertinent sexual information. How could she review her own product objectively? Wouldn't there be a whole "conflict of interest" clause involved?

So for a long time I believed that the toy was produced by another party (which it was/is, by the way), and was so personally admired by Johanson et al that, in subsequent productions of the Head Honcho, she later decided to lend her name to the product. I later found out that she was addressing an item that was in her own toy line from the start. But, just to let you know, two other separate and independent reviewers concurred with her analysis.

Nevertheless, none of this is either here nor there when it comes to the popularity of the masturbator. And by the way, the Honcho is created by California Exotic, but like I said is endorsed and (highly) recommended by Ms Johanson.

Whatever the Head Honcho's origins, it's a simple-to-use, inexpensive, hands-on (+4), and might I add aesthetically-pleasing device (if you can imagine your girlfriend having a transparent pussy :0). It seems to be well-deserving of its Viewer's Choice status.

With that in mind, I've already written a short, fictional acceptance speech for the Head Honcho. It goes a little something like this:

"Thank you all for coming (+5). First, I'd like to thank the male voters for putting me ahead (+6) of the field. I'd like to especially thank CE for sticking with my production, when I wasn't so well-known and through the (not so) hard times (as far as customers were concerned). Your perseverance in the adult novelty business, unlike my working environment, can't be beat.

"Let's do it again next year. Thanks again."

Porn Titles for Dummies

2007-06-17T17:14:00.000-04:00

I'm almost convinced that there are no good/catchy porn titles left. Or, let me rephrase that, very few...

Of course what constitutes a good title, and I realize this, is highly subjective. Also keep in mind, and I am aware of this fact also, when it comes to buying a skin flick in person, the box cover and the presence of their favorite star are 1 and 1A in the typical pornophile's (read guy's) decision-making process.

The importance of the title becomes evident when one is confronted with a list of DVD names (without the accompanying cover art) on a website, and one doesn't have time to click on the link to each DVD in the list or copy and paste each non-clickable title into one's pet search engine.

On the other hand, let's say that said list is already that of your favorite star and/or genre of porn and you're just trying to pare your way down to a few manageable prospects (again, DVD sight-unseen). Or maybe you do see the covers of all the DVDs and a lot, if not all, of them look equally tempting ; everywhere you look it's pussies and asses and tits, oh my. In these scenarios, a title that grabs you is a definite plus.

When it comes to names of porn flicks, at the bottom of the heap (and this is just my opinion, but I'm sure a lot of you would agree) are the ones that are just plain boring, non-descriptive, too long, not-funny, or just a take-off on a bad pun. (Again, I'm only describing their titles - the content, to the contrary, might be quite good.) Anyone one of these flaws, in and of itself, may not be a deal-breaker (except, in my opinion, the bad pun flaw. I think the title Little Red Rides The Hood is a damn nuisance). But two or more of these characteristics in a name might just kill it (with "it" being your preferential interest) for you.

Then there there are those titles that are just too generic (in a not-really-descriptive way) and overly-used - like ____ Erotica _____ (insert only one other word either before or after "erotica"). No lie, I was looking for a certain DVD title that someone asked for in one of those porn forum Requests sections.

Before I even started the search, I thought to myself sarcastically, "Temptation shouldn't be too hard to find." Sure enough, I find a handful of titles with only the word "temptation": two or three were accompanied by an article, "the" or "a", while one or two productions presented with the plural form "s".

These were all viable candidates considering the fact that a lot of times people don't know the exact title (even in such a simple case) - including articles ,plural forms and all - of movies they're looking for. And by the way, those handful of results didn't even include those titles exactly-named "Temptation", or those titles with one other smaller word (like "isle", "asian", or "eyes") in the title which a porn looker-upper (bear with me, but my thesaurus has gone missing again) could easily overlook.

I did eventually find the exact DVD the guy was looking for, but only because the guy was very descriptive in saying the 2 or three stars that were in the movie, and hinting at right about when (what year) the film came out. He even broke down one of the scenes in the movie. Otherwise you'd be hard-pressed to discern which one of those Temptation movies he was talking about.

Of course, DVDs simply and straight-forwardly (I put the thesaurus in the drawer of the fax cart. Why would someone take it and not tell me?) stating their contents in their names are mostly good things - e.g. Big White Wet Butts. They're not necessarily funny nor creative, but they get the job done. They're nice and safe.

Another example is Naked College Coeds : from this title one can glean the fact that the performers in this DVD attend institutes of higher learning (or so they claim *wink* *wink*). And at some point they shun all, or practically all, of their clothing. What more do you need to know? Good job by the movies producer(s) in straight-forward marketing (via the title) in a genre (Young/Teen/Coed) that's very popular to begin with.

The problem is just about all of the good, to-the-point titles are already taken, and are in their umpteenth versions. Exhibit A: Booty Talk 74 (take that, Friday the 13th and Police Academy ! :))

Still, when in doubt, simple, 2-or-3-descriptive-word titling is generally good. Even when titles in this category go 7 or 8 words long they don't seem to lose their effectiveness much, as long as they stay on point. For example, 1 In The Snapper 1 In The Crapper . Although, the longer the title, the less likely a random surfer is going to remember it precisely enough to google it.

I'm not sure exactly where they stand on the good-bad scale, but some movie names just pique your interest. Don't Worry, It'll Fit - right off the top of your head, what do you think it's about (its genre)? You have to figure that some sort of penetration is involved. Nevertheless, that title is so intriguing, it's not even funny. What is funny (sort of, I think) is the title itself.

Then there's the best of all worlds: short & concise, descriptive, and chuckle-worthy. I submit to you Who's Your Mommie? . Three words long , easy to remember by the average internet surfer (it's just a take-off on the common Daddy phrase), descriptive (not AS descriptive as some of my previous examples), and just about everyone knows what genre of porn we're talking here (MILF). The title's not ROFL funny, but like I said it'll make you smirk (at least it made me).

I want to hear from you: What, in your opinion, are some of the worst titles you've ever heard? And the best?

Pornstar News - T&A Q&A

2007-06-09T17:19:00.000-04:00

Well, it was bound to happen. Everyone else gets their breasts done, so why not Katja Kassin? The operation went down at the end of last month.

I'd always admired Ms. Kassin for the fact that, in a place (the San Fernando Valley) where just about every pornstar gets a boob job, she had resisted the urge to join the trend of her contemporaries.

As a matter of fact, I brought that same point up to her at her message boards the other day. I asked her (in effect), if the whole big-butted white-girl thing was her niche, and she'd established a whole fan base on it lo these many years, why did she feel the need to go the breast lift route now? Mind you, she did have a B-cup (which is enough for a lot of guys in the voyeuristic sense) to begin with, and she'd already stated at this other thread at the forum the reasons why she'd always stay at her God-given size.

In no uncertain terms, she answered that she was doing it for several reasons (and I'm paraphrasing here):
A) she had always thought of her body as kind of lopsided, with a big derriere that stuck out but a not-so-protruding front side;
B) she wanted a crack at certain adult projects (movies, magazines, and dancing) that she would normally not have a chance at with smaller breasts; and
C) she wanted to do something good for her and her body. And, dammit!, it was her body so it was her perogative to do whatever she chose to do with it. (She didn't really say "damn it", I just added that part myself. But you could tell from her tone that that was what she meant to say. Plus, the expression makes for more drama, no? :))

[Start Aside] Just between me and you, I don't think that the person that posts as Katja Kassin at her forum is the real deal. I mean, I'm sure that the person that posts as her has the authority to post as her, and knows her and her business (both industry-related and personal) very intimately. It's just that I've heard her speak dialogue (rarely, but enough to know better) in her movies and heard her in interview settings to make me claim that her grammar in her postings is too good and her syntax is too perfect in a language that is not her native tongue (which is German, as most of you know), for that entity at the boards to be her.

Besides, "she" answers a lot of her fans' posts there just about every single day. Now, if you were a mega-pornstar (and I'm talking to you fellas, too) and spent just about everyday doing ass-fucking shoots (and Ms. Kassin has a great reputation as an anal queen), or signing at some expo / meet-and-greet (which she does a lot of according to her own calendar), would you really want to come home at night, log onto your computer and reply to some porn-addicted fanboy (a very nice porn-addicted fanboy, by the way, who's just trying to do his best by his blog :)) who's asking you the question for the gazillionth time, "Why the boob job now after all these years?"

No. Most likely you designate a close relative, friend, or business associate (webmaster) for those kinds of things, so that when you do get home at night, you're free to call and chat up some girlfriends, have some ice cream, and/or watch CSI Miami.

I ain't hatin' on her or anything like that. I mean, it wouldn't be the first time a fan wouldn't be actually chatting one-on-one with an adult entertainer. You see, for example, a big-time starlet like Nina Mercedez who has (or at least she used to; I'm not sure if she still does) a webcam show? Someone has to type their replies to you the viewer, while she's getting naked.

That's just my opinion on the "Katja Kassin" person at her forum. You be the judge - I would love to hear your take on this. [/End Aside]

I'd covered this booty-and-boob topic before. And while I was kind of sad and dissappointed when Teagan Presley got her breast increase done, now, in Ms. Kassin's case, I'm more just dissappointed: I've come to accept fake boobs as part of the adult industry. At this point, I'm thinking if you're in the business long enough, you will (not "might") eventually get implants. No good natural figure in porn goes untainted.

I would've posted some Kassin pics featuring the new twins, but she hasn't done any shoots yet since her surgery; understandably, she's still recuperating. I'll try to post something from her first post-augmentation boy/girl project, which is booked for the end of this month, as soon as that material becomes available. Which, with this whole internet thing, should be about an hour after the scene's cumshot...

Sex Surfin'

2006-04-08T02:44:00.000-04:00

I admit it, l like to watch a lot of television - far more than I ought to. But I always keep my adult webmaster cap on when I’m watching TV, plus I have a short attention span. So my recent sessions go a little something like this…

[click]

Oh look, there’s Sue Johanson telling Conan O’Brien how a man can improvise his own masturbatory tool, assuming he can’t afford any of her signature line of toys. She is such a piece of work (in a good way)! What’s that now? Take a sheet of bubble wrap, strap it to the palm of your hand, lube it up, and go to town? Hmmmm…I’ll have to try that someday (real soon).

As for you people who actually have money to spend, she also mentions something about the Royal Butler and the Happy Rabbit .

[click]

Check out this commercial here, I love this one. It’s an ad for 1-800-GET-CHAT. They’re basically trying to tell you that if you call this party line, you’ll be able to speak to women as hot as Nikki Nova, Charmane Star, Monique Alexander, and what's-her-name (is that fourth chick Keri Sable, by the way?). Gimme a break.

For those who don’t know what I’m talking about, the ad is just like the zillions of Vivid-girl endorsements that company runs at the beginning of all of their DVDs (you know, the part of the DVD you can’t skip over). And speaking of commercials...

[click]
[click]
[click]
[click]
[click]

Where is this new Sugar DVD ad featuring Tera Patrick that I’m hearing so much about? It’s supposedly running on each of these standard cable stations: MTV, VH1, BET, Spike and E! Network. I must’ve missed it. Let me try them again.

[click]
[click]
[click]
[click]

Nope, I still can’t find it. I personally am just curious to see porn stars on regular TV (not on after-hours premium cable like Cinemax, and not on the Playboy Channel) with their clothes on for a change; just to see how they come across. Besides, I respect what Ms. Patrick has accomplished in the adult industry.

I already know how good the Sugar DVD adult DVD rental service is. I’ve been touting them heavily for a while now. I don’t really need to see the commercial - at this point the spot would be just like preaching to the choir, as far as I’m concerned.

While I’m on the subject of premium cable, let’s see when the new season of the pornstar-laden Cathouse comes out on HBO...

[click]

(I think you get the picture. :))

Show Me Some Skin

2006-04-05T05:36:00.000-04:00

I don’t know if any of you have ever been to GUBA, but they have a third level domain now totally devoted to adult content. Or that appears to be the case on the surface of it...

Skin Video consists of pics and videos that have been posted to Usenet groups. Skin just gives you a means to access all of those videos and images through one interface. And Skin tries its best to group them as appropriately as it can, but it’s almost an impossible job. The categorization process will drive you crazy if you try to make sense of it.

The porn genres run about 19 deep, with many sub-categories nested into the main genres. From what I’ve seen, the pornstar videos niche, for example, consist of content from as far back as the mid 80s (taking into account the Christy Canyon clips) to the early part of this century (considering the Jenna Haze videos). So from the looks of it, there are no new releases posted.

The good news, and another feature of the Skin service, is that you can not only watch the videos online (in Flash) you can download it to your local hard-drive, or to 2 other hardware devices: namely, the PSP and the (video) iPod. And, of course, the pics can be saved also.

The bad news (if you’d consider it that) is, while a lot of the clips are nice and hardcore, some of the clips are quite tame by comparison (and these are the pornstar vids I’m talking about!). Even within the so-called “racy” celeb content, some of the clips just feature interviews ( no skin showing at all), belying the reason for their postings at the site in the first place.

By the way, the clips range in length from very short (about 9 seconds) to whole sex scenes (which average 15 to 25 minutes each).

For lack of a better description, Skin Video is akin to pornographic ADD. So for those who like a little (make that a lot of) variety in their porn, the service costs about $15 a month, and with more content than you can possibly go through in 30 days (unless you really don‘t have a life), give it a shot at least once. And besides, like I said, you get to keep all the content.

Below are a handful of samples from the site. I have to apologize for the quality of the pics, especially the ones linking to the clips. The vidcaps are (obviously) taken directly from their respective clips and the quality of the clips aren‘t that great to begin with.

Adult Sex Toy-A Brief History

2006-03-31T22:41:00.000-05:00

Dating back to ancient Greece, the adult sex toy has been around
for thousands of years. The first dildo, called olisbos was made
of stone, leather or wood.

For Renaissance Italy the olisbos became diletto (delight). A
Liberal amount of olive oil was used to make penetration more
comfortable.

The Victorian era brought us not only the first rubber dildo,
but also the vibrator. Vibrators were used for medicinal
purposes. Prescribed to treat "hysteria" in women. As the use of
vibrators for sexual pleasure would have been taboo, vibrators
were marketed as massagers.

Today, attitudes have greatly improved, due in a large part to
companies that are manufacturing high quality products, and
organizations that promote sex positive education. Combined with
the ease and comfort of shopping online, researching and finding
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Sex News: Play on, Playboy...

2006-03-29T22:01:00.000-05:00

I read that Joe Francis, the founder of that obscure “Girls Gone Wild” franchise, is interested in purchasing Playboy enterprises. And that, my friends, includes everything with the bunny-head logo on it: from the magazine to the TV channel, and all the merchandise in between. I have two thoughts on this.

First of all, who knew that this guy had that kind of dough? I knew that the “Wild” thing was successful, but damn...

Secondly, I don’t think Hugh Hefner would sell his baby for all the money in the world. He’s built his lifestyle, his reputation, his empire, and everything he is today on the shoulder’s of his brainchild. The house that the bunny built (the Playboy Mansion) is a cultural icon. I don’t think there’s any way on this planet that anyone is taking that all away from him. Francis would have to pry Playboy out of Hugh’s cold, dead hands. And even then, the “Wild” man would have to go through his descendants, mainly his daughter Christie Hefner, to claim it...

Now supposedly, when Hefner founded his magazine, the ideal behind the Playmate of the Month was to be the girl next door with her clothes off. Puh-lease! With all the air-brushing that goes on in Playboy pictorials, and the women in the mag who make posing their careers, I’d hate (or love, in this case) to see what a professional, non-girl-next-door type model looks like...

It was revealed, by the subject herself, that Sharon Stone was approached by Hef’s people for a shoot in the magazine. She turned them down for now saying that she might consider the offer in the future.

I don’t mean to be rude, but when you’re Jessica Alba, who is 26, you can afford to get back to Playboy at a later date. When you’re 48, as Ms Stone is, you might want to do the nude thing now. You’re not getting any younger, and you never know if or when you’ll experience the limelight of a highly-touted, mainstream movie (like Basic Instinct 2) again. And to tell you the truth, I personally am into older women, but seriously, how many of Playboy’s young male readership are into women pushing 50?

Porn DVD Review: Curse Eternal

2006-03-28T06:46:00.001-05:00

I think I’ve been a little hard on Wicked Picture feature films in the past (see Camp Cuddly Pines Power Tool Massacre and One Man's Obsession) . The reason is that their movies in the past have lacked anal and many of the sex scenes in a particular movie have, in my opinion, been repetitive. There’s also been a lot of terrible (not just bad) acting too, but that’s neither here nor there in a skin flick.

Curse Eternal suffers from those very same issues, but I’ve learned to accept this type of fare from Wicked. Besides, a handful of their films have done really well lately at AVN Award shows, so I figured I must be missing something: maybe couples eat this stuff up, and it’s not meant for single guys like me. So this promises to be a kinder and more gentler review. Nevertheless...

Well, let’s take it from the top starting with the plot. The story centers around a long dead (or buried at least) Egyptian queen/princess - played very sultrily by Kaylani Lei - who is revived from her tomb in the modern world and embarks on a quest to regain her long lost love who has been reincarnated in the present day. Jessica Drake plays an archaeological-type analyst whose father first discovered the tomb two decades earlier. She (Drake) learns about, aids, confronts, and conflicts with the Egyptian along the way.

The Curse Eternal tale is a little hole-ly and you can pick at it at several junctures. Also, a few of the plot points seem a little far-fetched. But much like with the acting - which is atrocious - who cares? It’s porn.

On a positive note, it looks like the Wicked props department went to a lot of trouble to get their ducks in a row. There’s a lot of authentic-looking (I said looking) relics here: from sarcophagi to ankhs to ceremonial bodices. There are a couple of things that look out of place (I don’t remember Indiana Jones going after the Ancient Dildo of the Sphinx…), but I‘m willing to let those things slide. Kudos to the props people for trying.

Big shout, as well, to the cinematographers for the all around production values. The look of the movie, needless to say, is excellent. But that’s what you would expect from the prototypical, sleek porn studio nowadays. The scenery is great to chew up, the lighting is just right, and the camera angles are on point.

But you’re not reading this to hear me talk about all those Oscar Awards category shit. In the words of the immortal Salt-n-Pepa, “Let’s talk about sex...”

The first carnal scene is between Randy Spears and Lei in her character’s tomb. There’s some (cunt) lapping, some (dick) sucking, a little (reverse cow-girl) riding, and finally some doggy-styling (I didn‘t mention the pop-shot, but of course that goes without saying. :)). It’s solid scene, nothing over-the-top, which is what you would expect for a lot of opening trysts. It’s early yet. By the way, if you miss any or all of this scene, relax because it does replay itself later on.

Next we have Eric Masterson and Drake on an apartment couch. Let’s see, we have - and stop me if you’ve heard this before - cunnilingus, fellatio, regular girl-on-top, and hitting-it-from-the-back in that exact order once again. She does stick her finger in her ass (more on that later), which is a little different (I’m scrambling here, folks). And Drake is nice to look at in her bra and panty set, so...no worries, mate.

Scene3: Masterson and Lei in the desert. Okay, now I’m worried. It’s at this point in my viewing that I started thinking that Wicked is doing in Curse Eternal that repetitive-sex-scene thing throughout the entire movie; just like they did in Camp Cuddly Pines. I’d tell you what happened in the scene, but you can just read either of the previous two scene descriptions (minus the cunt-licking part).

The next sexcapade features Chris Cannon and Lei in a lab setting. (*Sigh*) This scene is beyond pointless. Remember what I said about not fretting in case you missed the first scene? Well, here’s your chance to see practically that exact same scene again - position for position and prop for prop (right down to Lei leaning over her sarcophagus just so). To quote a popular saying, it’s like déjà vu all over again: just slap Cannon’s face on Spear’s body and call it a night.

Before I go on with the rest of the scenes, I have to say that I mention the locales of the scenes for a reason. When I review a movie, I usually don’t mention where sex takes place unless it helps you better visualize or get a better sense of how raunchy (or not so much) the sex is. I mention the places this time to see if the reader would get the same sense of repetitiveness I got when I watched them. For some reason, Wicked thinks it can just change up the settings and mix-and-match the male and female sex partners in its movies and voila!, entirely different scenes. I ask, wouldn’t you be pretty much bored with the sex in Cursed Eternal by now?

Cut to a couple of mini-trysts in a bar/nightclub men’s room, where Keri Sable blows Barrett Blade until he cums. It’s not much, but at least it’s different and it’s over relatively quickly. Then, finally, a little light at the end of the tunnel as Lei eats Sable out and tongues her ass in the same venue.

Next comes the scene that makes the movie: an orgy involving about nine people. Actually, you get two orgies spliced together (I’m not going to give you the how-tos and the whys of the situation, just trust me on this) that go back and forth between the bar/nightclub setting and a place outside under the hot Egyptian sun.

In the former place, there’s Brad Armstrong, Kris Knight, Gia Jordan, Ice La Fox, Kelly Kline, Lezley Zen, and Drake. The latter locale has Armstrong, Joey Ray, La Fox , Eva Angelina, and Drake. In my opinion, the inside orgy is hotter because
A. more people (duh); and
B. sex in the anonymous club atmosphere and under that kind of strobe lighting screams debauchery.
Nevertheless, you can’t lose with either half (for lack of a better word) of this scene.

A little off the beaten path here: It’s funny how that works that an orgy is always the best scene in a movie (and not just in Curse Eternal). Why? The reasons are that if you don’t like the way one girl looks, you can wait for one that suits your fancy to come into the picture; also, if you’re not into what one couple (or trio) is doing, just look over in the corner and you just might like what another couple is doing. And if you’re a fan of everyone and everything, visual sensory overload is a damn good thing. It’s true what they say: the more the merrier . (Note: this axiom doesn‘t apply when running the same tired scene formula over and over again.)

This time I’ll leave all the juicy sexual details of this entire get-together, which I usually describe, for you to find out by yourself (besides, I don‘t want to be here all day). All I will say is this: for the last couple of Jessica Drake‘s movies that I‘ve seen - including her earlier scene in Curse Eternal - I’ve seen her stick her finger in her butt. And I’ve wondered aloud why she just doesn’t do anal and be done with it. Let me just say, after this scene, it’s about time!

That’s the only true anal in the entire movie, by the way. Like I said before, there-in lies one of the problems I have with Wicked’s pictures. The thing is when there’s no anal, that wipes out 3 or 4 other things from a film’s sexual repertoire like DP (double penetration), double anal, ass-to-mouth, and “air-tight.”

Then follows a very competent lesbian sexcapade which includes Alyssa Knight, Tiffany Taylor, and Tory Lane on (what appears to be) a floating bed. Tits get sucked, pussies get licked just right, there’s some mutual masturbation, somebody gets the finger (a couple of fingers, really), and a good time is had by all. The next thing you know, they break out The Twin Bejewelled Dongs of the Sun God (or something like that), and Lane takes each of them in a lower hole. I myself think lesbo sex is a little over-rated, but there’s no denying how hot this particular scene is. So if you’re into lezzies, this scene is a can’t miss.

The very last scene takes place outside of the tomb of the Egyptian queen/princess (I still forget precisely what role Lei plays). It has Lei, Drake, and Masterson. Even though this is FFM (female-female-male) sex, it plays just like the third scene; only this time Drake rides reverse cow-girl while Lei takes it doggy-style. After the build-up of the previous two or three scenes, this one just seems like filler material. If the producers of the film were adamant about leaving this scene in, they might’ve gone on and taken one or two (on second thought, let’s make it three) of the earlier scenes out.

The bottomline is, if you don’t want to feel like you’re “cursed” or like you’ve been watching this two-and-a-half hour movie for an “eternity”, skip to the latter half of the movie (part 6 to be exact, according to the Curse Eternal DVD menu) and watch that half first. Oh well, so much for the kinder, gentler approach...

Curse Eternal
Official Movie Site

Looking for Porn in All the Wrong Places (Revisited)

2006-03-25T03:37:00.000-05:00

Well, the verdict came down on the case between Google and the federal government that I described before. Not good for Google, but not necessarily bad overall.

Just to sum up the case: the Department of Justice asked the four biggest search engines, Google, Yahoo, MSN, and AOL, to turn over records regarding a certain amount of searches performed on their respective domains. The feds said they basically needed such records in their ongoing measures to protect children from harmful online content (especially porn). The latter 3 acquiesced, G didn’t. So the DoJ took the Googleheads to court, seeking to force them to comply with its federal order via subpoena.

I speculated (in my previous entry) that Google would lose in the case, and it did. It must now submit the necessary data to the feds. But not as much data as the feds were seeking. It seems that Google’s initial concerns, namely regarding it’s patrons’ rights to privacy and its own right to keep its books private, were taken into account by the judge.

I’d also predicted earlier that G’s reticence to divulge the required information would put them in well with porn surfers who highly value their privacy. The reason being that those surfers could rest assured that the search giant was doing everything in its power to protect their collective privacy. But I think I misjudged that placement of trust.

According to the latest judgment, the privacy issue may be out of Google’s hands, no matter what measures it’s trying to take to protect its patrons. If the federal government can just walk in anytime it wants to demanding the results of online queries from major search portals, and get its wish, it’s going to instill a bit of mistrust in Google, as well as its biggest competitors (on the part of the I-hope-to-run-for-office-someday-and-I-don’t-want-this-information-used-against-me individual, for example). And G is not even at fault here because it did the best it could under the circumstances.

To reiterate, the DoJ wasn’t awarded all that they were asking for in terms of user searches. But in the end , the casual surfer just looking for a little afternoon porn because he’s bored at work just might decide to go to a smaller, more inconspicuous engine in looking for his favorite niche. After all, if you’re not seeking that structured a query, you can search for smut in many places. There are always going to be people searching for it, and if they can do so without putting themselves at risk in this “War Against Pornography” climate, even better.

Bottomline, Google - along with Yahoo, AOL, and MSN - loses a few porn-minded visitors; maybe only for the short-term, maybe forever. In the meantime, the smaller portals and directories pick those visitors up, and they can compete a little more with the big boys. And if that’s the worst that comes out of this situation, the Bush administration might’ve just done small online businesses (in this case, search engines) a favor. I ask you, is that so bad?

Porn DVD Review: Jenna Jameson Is The Masseuse

2006-02-17T17:06:00.000-05:00

The Masseuse is a Vivid Entertainment production that just might rub some guys the wrong way...

Let me start off with a few words about Vivid. I have no quibble at all with those folks when it comes to the aesthetics of their movies: the cinematography (and the fact that the word “cinematography” comes up when describing a skin flick these days is partly due to them), the sound (there

is one scene in this movie where you see the boom in the shot; no wonder the sound editing is so good. :)), the camera angles (which includes a technique that allows you to change your viewing angle at certain times in the movie when a certain icon pops up), and even the background music soundtrack are all top-notch.

And I have to say, I also like the technique of skipping frames in character motion sequences. What I mean is, for example, Jenna Jameson could be starting to put her blouse back on (and this actually happened in the movie). You see her put the garment on top of her head in one fluid motion, and the next frame after the one with the blouse on her head, is with her pulling the blouse over her belly. The technique sort of skips out on the portraying of the inevitable.

Is The Masseuse story any good ? My answer to that would be that it’s better than most porn tales (what do you expect in terms of adult themes in the first place?). Besides, it is a retread of a classic adult flick to begin with, and if the original story wasn’t any good, they wouldn’t have bothered to redo it.

If you don’t know what the gyst of the plot is, a young nerdy male (played by Justin Sterling) gets infatuated with a female masseuse (played by Jameson), and the two share some physical and emotional adventures. That’s the short version of the story. On to the sex...

The first scene (if you could call it that) is nice and sweet, nothing mind-blowing (a theme that seems to haunt most of the Jameson-Sterling hookups, and a theme I will expound on as I go along). It’s basically a hand job for Sterling by Jameson on a massage table. The second scene is a blowjob one on the same table.

Before I go on, I have to say that The Masseuse has the word “chick porn” written all over it: from the extensive plot points ; to the budding romance between the two main protagonists; to the handful of scenes that consist of nothing but foreplay (no hardcore whatsoever in the scene); to the sappy background music; to the hunky and clean-cut (read “non-Ron Jeremy-looking“) but shy leading guy.

But don’t let that “chick porn” tag scare you fellas away. Because here comes Maya Devine…Maya Devine is - what word am I looking for? - absolutely divine. Even in the solo scene that she has by herself (sort of), she is one hell cat that would be fun to tame.

The third scene between Jameson and Sterling (I know, I see all you guys out there rolling your eyes already) is actually not as trite as the previous two. It’s sort of a dungeon scene (and you can see here and in later scenes where Jameson got in some good practice for her later project Jenna Loves Pain) in Sterling’s garage/chamber/rec room. He ties her up while she’s on her feet, blindfolds her, and partially gags her. He then both dildo and finger fucks her, and to top it off, he makes her go down on him.

You may think this scene is no better (or worse) than the previous trysts with these two. But my contention is that any scene or movie that puts the most powerful woman in porn (you know who) in a submissive and/or bound role is one I want to see. That’s why I liked Jenna Loves Pain so much.

The best episode in the movie, perhaps, is the one between Samson and Jameson. The scene basically consists of Jenna licking and sticking (with a strap-on) Samson while she’s fettered in chains (Samson, too, is bound in the standing position); and then a harnessed Samson returning the favor by fucking Jameson in a number of positions on a bed (Ms. Jenna even performs fellatio on the toy before taking it in her pussy). The energy in this scene is very raw, upbeat, and all-around great. And besides, Samson is somewhat limber (must be all that ballet training), a quality which is always a good thing in a sex scene, no matter how dull or exciting the actors’ performances are.

I’d said in a previous Jenna movie review that it appeared to me that Jameson was always on the giving end in her lesbian scenes: that she was usually the one to take a strap-on to her counterpart. But after watching her scene with Samson , I have to recant that statement a bit. She (Jenna) both gives it AND takes it good and hard from Savanna. Frankly, I didn’t know that Samson had that kind of domme in her. (And by the way, why wasn’t Samson in more scenes in this movie? Just a personal preference on my part...)

There’s an episode between Evan Stone and Devine that’s better than any of the Jameson-Sterling ones, in my opinion. First of all, it takes place in the work setting (which means forbidden and therefore exciting; two traits that hubby-wife porn star sex is usually NOT). Second of all, like I said, Devine’s character (and most likely she herself also) is a gorgeous, sexual, hellion.

Sometimes you have to rely on the guy in a scene to bring the energy when the woman’s performance falls flat, which is exactly what Evan Stone does in this scene (and just about every scene he’s in these days). Not that it is needed here because Maya Devine is no dead fish in the sack herself. This is one of the two or three best scenes in The Masseuse , in my opinion, even though it’s your basic boy-girl suck-and-fuck - with a dildo poke thrown in for good measure.

When you look at the arc of the sexual energy in The Masseuse, it has a nice build to it: the sex starts simple and gradually builds until you get the scorching scene between Jameson and Samson. The gusto tapers off a smidgeon (if at all) between Devine and Stone. Then it sort of falls of the table with the last scene between Jameson and Sterling. Their last scene is more slow and tender, if anything.

This scene (the fourth one exclusively between the two, I might add) is the first one that is actually hardcore - i.e it involves mutual genital contact on their part. Of course the tryst also encompasses everything they’d done together up until this point, including oral. Call it a full-service scene (in keeping with the massage motif) between the two.

And I’m not saying there’s anything necessarily wrong with a slow, sensual grind. It’s just that...

I’d also stated once before that hubby-wife sex - in the absence of props or other scene mates - isn’t usually that sexy. I’ve got to say that this scene definitely brings that point home. Even if you didn’t know that these two were married (like I did going in), this scene falls a little short after the recently concluded sexcapades. But, if you want to see Jenna Jameson in some hardcore action these days, this is the only way you’re going to see it as long as she stays married.

Another small problem I had with The Masseuse (other than the extensive marital humdrumness) is the absence of anal sex. But I can let that slide a little (and only a little) because I knew that this film was primarily a Jameson vehicle, and she don’t do anal, period; hubby or no hubby. So I wasn’t terribly surprised with the lack of butt-plugging.

But all in all, taking in the aesthetics of the film, the storyline, and a couple of very good sex scenes (again, even though there’s no anal throughout the movie), The Masseuse is very good. I predict that the film will win a handful of AVN awards, and possibly even validate this Jameson woman’s career. ;)

The Masseuse

Diary of a Mad, Black Blogger

2006-02-15T15:03:00.000-05:00

Dear Journal,

I’m so glad Tera Patrick is doing other guys again, and not just her spouse. Like I said on a previous occasion, for the most part, no one wants to see hubby-wife porn star sex (unless they’re amateurs, maybe) over and over again. I don’t want to watch something that any conservative Christian group would sign off on (“Marital sex? Well, I guess that’s okay.”)

Besides, speaking of Ms. Tera only doing girls (in addition to her husband), I think lesbian porn is WAY over-rated, anyway. Sure it’s nice to see two women in one place - my reasoning being, one naked girl looks great while two naked girls look even better. But it’s hard for me to mentally insert myself in a porn scene (and isn’t that fantasy of being there the lure of pornography as a whole?) if there are no dudes there...

Remind me never to sign up for U-Rent DVDs ever again. What’s the problem with them, you ask? Their rentals take a whole week to ship to you (and I understand that I will always have that issue with outfits that are based exclusively on the opposite coast); and every single one of their DVDs were scratched up!

My initial shipment included 3 DVDs: one of them refused to play in my PS2, while the other two would start to play but would never finish (they would stall). When I tried to play them in my computer DVD-ROM drive, it was like pulling teeth trying to get them to play (I had to wipe the hell out of them). Meanwhile, two of them still refused to play to completion...

J, I think it’s time Taylor Wane and Dick Nasty disbanded their KSEXradio show , “The British are Cumming.” At first I thought that that Wane chick was hilarious and she was super fresh. She would give Nasty some good-natured ribbing, no big deal. Then all of a sudden a couple of weeks ago, she goes all psycho and starts saying these mean-spirited things to Dick. And through most of the ribbing up until and including the insults, he would just sit there and take her shit. He did fire back a couple of times, and Wane actually sounded shocked that he gave her what she’d been giving him all this time (“How dare he stick up for himself?” ).

I think those two have some serious issues bubbling underneath the surface, and they need to quit each other before someone gets seriously hurt.

And while I’m on the subject of KSEXradio, I’m still mad at myself for missing Katja Kassin’s appearance on the station the other day. It would have been one thing if she appeared on a show that I normally wouldn’t listen to. What gets me is that she appeared on a show that I listen to all the time (and it just might be my pet show that they broadcast), “The Porn Hunnies Smut Top 20.” Oh well, I’ll just have to make do with these pictures and clips of my favorite big-butted, redheaded, German porn star...

You’re such a good listener, J. We should do this more often. :)

Porn DVD Review: Beefeaters 2

2006-02-08T10:59:00.000-05:00

Beefeaters 2 is a gonzo flick (no storyline whatsoever), about two and a half hours long, that specializes - as you might expect - in the art of fellatio. The movie is more than competent if you’re into dick-sucking. If you’re not into it, the DVD can get old fast. In any event, by the middle of the second scene , you will pretty much have seen every which way and technique used in the process.

If there was ever a movie purely for fantasizing about being in one particular situation (namely, in receiving head) whilst jerking off to that fantasy, Beefeaters 2 is it. The scenes are too similar to appreciate or even recognize any sort of production value there-in. Besides, you don’t really get the opportunity to appreciate the package that is each girl’s body (other than for the first couple of minutes in each scene) while masturbating. The oral sex is shot mostly POV (point-of-view) style; and as far as the watcher is concerned, the view largely consists of a pretty face, open mouth, and two hands.

You start the movie and watch it until you pop. When you’re done jerking off, you stop Beefeaters 2 and pick up next time where you left off. It's as simple as that.

Since the scenes are very similar, let’s focus on the girls and their pre-fellatio rituals. The girls are for the most part very hot, and there are twelve of them. That is a lot of girls for one (non-compilation) project, so good job by the producers of Beefeaters 2, 3rd Degree. And these are not all also-rans in the adult industry. There are a lot of big name starlets here.

Moreover, the DVD features a nice eclectic mix of women: from bulkier women to skinny women, from brunettes to blondes, from big (fake) boobs to small (but nice and real) breasts. There were only three ethnic women by my count, two Blacks and a Latina. Not enough in my opinion, especially considering there are no Asians , but at least there is diversity here.

The other part of Beefeaters 2 - like I said - that offered any variety (besides the look of the women) is the girls’ collective pre-cocksucking ritual. I will go through each scene, but to re-iterate most (if not all) of them follow the same script: woman is dressed; woman gets un-dressed (or partially so) whilst playing with herself; woman crawls over on hands and knees to cock; beef-eating commences. Not all of the girls gulp down their respective popshot (I know, you’re thinking, “What is the world coming to?”)

Scene : Katja Kassin
Intro: sticks dildo into pussy, then into mouth; finger fucks herself.
Swallow? yes
Comments: Okay, I admit it: Katja is absolutely one of my favorites. She can do no wrong in my book (that ass is like whoa!). :)

Scene : Dillan Lauren
Intro: rubs her clit and pussy lips, massages her breasts.
Swallow? yes
Comments: I thought she needed to play with herself a little more at the outset. Don’t blink at the end of the scene or you might miss the money shot (it’s that hard to see).

Scene : Sophia
Intro: double-finger fucks herself; sucks her own juices off said fingers.
Swallow? yes and no
Comments: Just when it seems she’s about to let the cum spill from her mouth, she has a change of heart and gobbles a lot of it (not all) back up.

Scene : Kelly Wells
Intro: fucks herself with a 3-pronged glass dildo (you have to see it to believe it), then sucks her juices off the instrument.
Swallow? yes (with a vengeance)
Comments: While just about all of the other women whisper sexily about all the dirty things they’re going to do to your cock, she practically shouts. You talk about a mood-ruiner. Plus, she makes these frightening faces…I guess she is trying to look sexy, but it just comes across as horror. Besides, while it’s nice to hear gargling, choking noises from a girl every once in a while as she deep-throats, she seemed to be choking constantly, which is not that sexy. And her tearing up did nothing to enhance her moody, horrified expression. I do give her credit for one thing: she not only swallows at the end of her scene, she gargles the whole saliva-cum mixture like mouthwash before doing so.

Scene : Marie Luv
Intro: inserts butt-plug into vagina, then deep-throats it.
Swallow? yes
Comments: For a while there it looks like she’s about to spit…

Scene : Kristen Price
Intro: self-fucks with bulbar-headed glass dildo; licks dildo clean.
Swallow? yes
Comments: n/a

Scene : Flower Tucci
Intro: finger-fucks and massages pussy until she squirts; then takes 3-pronged dildo (similar to the one previously-mentioned) and dps (double-penetrates) herself with two of the glass heads until she squirts again.
Swallow? yes
Comments: I’m always wary of stars who allegedly “squirt”. It might just be a water trick, who knows…

Scene : Mia Bangg
Intro: screws her ass with rubber dildo.
Swallow? yes
Comments: She bangs! She bangs! This girl is absolutely smoking’. Where has she been hiding all my life?

Scene : Melody Bliss
Intro: strokes her clit for a (very) short while.
Swallow? no
Comments: I’m a little disappointed in Miss Bliss: no finger-insertion, nor dildo-play, nor (horror of horrors!) wad-swallowing. Yes, my friends, the world can be a sad place sometimes.

Scene : Missy Monroe
Intro: double-digit fucks herself : finger-licking-good action.
Swallow? yes
Comments: *TOO MUCH SALIVA WARNING*. It’s hard not to notice this fact when she does most of the scene with her head upside-down, and there’s a trail of spit that forms a thick sideburn on one side of her face.

Scene : Tyla Wynn
Intro: gets down with an extremely long rubber double dildo; alternates between sticking one end of the dildo in her mouth and the other end in her pussy; at one point it looks as if she might accomplish both feats at the same time (the dildo is that long).
Swallow? no
Comments: Wynn is very energetic, she sucks cock like a champ, and she has a mouth that would make a sailor blush. In my opinion, this is the best tryst in the whole production, despite the fact that she doesn’t swallow (and despite my Kassin-bias).

Scene : August
Intro: disrobes (a little), rubs vagina under thong front covering (non-viewable) and through clothing.
Swallow? no
Comments: Again, I expected more from this gorgeous Latina. (*sigh*)

Beef Eaters 2

Looking for porn in all the wrong places...

2006-02-01T10:25:00.000-05:00

I can’t believe I, of all people, am going to side with Google today. Well, here goes nothing…

About a week and a half ago, the Department of Justice subpoenaed the four major search engines - Google, Yahoo, MSN, and AOL - to turn over the results of a certain amount of adult search queries performed in each engine. The federal government said it needed the information pursuant to its ongoing monitoring and enforcement of the Child Online Protection Act. While the latter three search giants were cooperative towards the government’s efforts, Google was not.

There are two different aspects of this situation that I‘d like to discuss: the right & wrong of the matter and the reality of it. In a perfect world, Google (and anyone else) would be forthcoming in providing information that would help save children from viewing pornographic images, and/or info that would help authorities catch online adult predators.

Now having said that, from all I know about this current Bush administration, it is hell-bent on ridding this society of pornography (as unrealistic as that goal may seem). So while the DoJ may state one noble reason for seeking this information from Google, the real reason (most likely) - in addition to its COPA defense - for the government’s acquisition is for its mission to eradicate porn.

Realistically-speaking, it seems that Google is well within its rights, in the absence of overt wrong-doing (and remember, this information is not being used to make a prosecutorial case against the search giant), to keep the information regarding its enterprise (public company though it is) to itself. It may disseminate that information to its stockholders or other information-gathering or statistical-analyzing venture on the net (as long as it’s not violating personal privacy issues), as it sees fit. And to Big G, it’s not a matter of shielding questionable or highly irregular adult/porn search terms. It’s an issue of principle.

Some people would say that Google (as well as the other search engines) has only itself to blame in this matter for keeping such detailed records (a fact which is widely-known throughout the internet community) in the first place, but that’s a copout. The Google-heads have a right to know (again, assuming that they handle information irresponsibly) the who, what, when, where, why, and how of everything that transpires in their own little corner (or in Google’s case, their 50-room mansion) of cyberspace.; insofar as porn is concerned or otherwise. And to anyone who uses their engine and doesn’t like that fact, the web is a big place and they’re at liberty to go perform their search queries elsewhere.

Now, to tell you the truth, I think Google is going to lose in this matter anyway. The government is going to get its injunction, and eventually the Googleplex is going to have to submit said records. But, in the meantime, Google is going to come out smelling like a rose. And, if anything, it will gain even more trust, loyalty, and confidence from their patrons; including and especially from those who look for extreme porn.

So in the end, Google may be wrong (and conversely, the government is right) for standing in the way of shielding underage children from porn. But that’s if, and only if, the government is using said information for - and only towards - its intended purpose , which I highly doubt. The reality of the case is that, with the high-profile nature of this case, Google’s steadfastness almost guarantees it a no-lose situation.

Meanwhile, the 35%-total-market-share of online search queries that is the Google juggernaut rolls on, gobbling up any and all information and data streams and sources in its path. Why doesn’t the government legislate an act against that also?

Anna Malle Attraction

2006-01-28T00:25:00.000-05:00

God bless you, Anna Malle! You were one of the most popular performers of the 90s, and you still have legions of fans to this day (that eye-rolling thing you did rocked!).

I remember first seeing you on HBO's Real Sex, why, it must be going on over eight years now. I remember thinking, after that piece, that you weren't a pornstar phony and that you actually lived the life you portrayed and espoused on film. RIP, because you've certainly done more than your fair share for your industry.

(More of her bio.)

Anna Malle
Sept 9, 1967 - January 25, 2006