and that's the way it was...

bordem or however you spell it becomes me

2005-11-08T18:03:00.000-08:00

wow as it would seem i move into my house in less than one week. itll be good times only crappy part is that i cant build my ramp till summer or fall next year so i remain with absoulutly nothing to ride. i really hate this because latley ive wanted to ride more than anything. me and eric had a good session that invovled the cops and everything. so funny how some people call the cops on you cause they think they almost hit you in the street. i guess flying from the coop parking lot over the entire sidewalk and landing in the street can take a person by surprise lol. work is good, its getting colder. its raining and i want to bike i should shower but i dont feel like it. holly is working again. ive been in my pjs since i got home from work and i dont want to get out of them....

the check engine came on in my car again today boo hiss. so glad to have to not worry about money for a while. things are tight but i have enough. full time ministry you say? i started to play my guitar again but soon i wont cause ill be addicted to cleaning my house and playing nintendo and watching bike vids and doing 180s in my garage. i should build a huge garage ramp im sure holly would love that lol. this is my rant and i like it. im gonna go shower now for those of you who thought ewww to the above comment about not showering. but yeah.

i miss everyone

where does time go

2005-10-21T16:26:00.000-07:00

well i dont know how your guys' weeks have been but mine sure seemed to just escape under me. all of a sudden its friday again and here i am. this week was hard at work it was slower and that is never good. things overall are very good at work.

lets see heres some things that have been on my mind today/this week:
-bc skateparks
-my old abby apartment and events of the dwelling
-biking with people
-bc in general
-honeymoons
-houses
-sleep oh sleep
-britt (ironically snow patrol is playing right now for those of you who understand)
-wanting to just get away (for some reason i just really want to get up and go like just away from this blah time. this week drove me nuts.)
-blah and others etc.

for some reason this week got me down. im not sure whether its the weather or whether its some kind of attack. who knows.

anyway following the ever poplur trend...if this doesnt make you feel some kind of emotion then you should check your heart to see if you are alive...

"Run"

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all I've done

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Away from here

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

Slower slower
We don't have time for that
All I want is to find an easier way
To get out of our little heads

Have heart my dear
We're bound to be afraid
Even if it's just for a few days
Making up for all this mess

Light up, light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

what can i say about today

2005-10-05T21:37:00.000-07:00

well it snowed alot and was very cold and wet and i was outside working. boo. i was getting blown off of trucks and struck in the head with lumber falling from trucks. overall it was okay after lunch when i got my feet dry and the weather got worse. bah. so we are trying to get a house built soon so we can live somewhere and things are starting to pick up here. hopefully well have started in a few weeks. i love working at parkside the guys there are great and the overtime rules on the paychecks. starting to miss bc a bit cause i miss biking with peeps but hey what can ya do. anyway this is for janet cause she reads this thing. yay for her.

phil

figured i should write something

2005-07-17T16:03:00.000-07:00

well i havent updated for a while. for those of you who dont know, i am indeed back in winkler for good this time.

so what have i been up to you ask? well here goes...im working at home for my stepdad doing digital photos and vinyl graphics and the like, living with my parents, waiting for new new wheels to come for my bike so i can ride again...they are in winnipeg so soon the mailman will bring them, in the mean time im digging dirt jumps in my back yard and meeting new bmx guys to ride with in this here city.

i feel alot like people dont ever hang out anymore but i guess i feel that way only cause i happen to be the only guy around these parts. i guess i feel like i cant really call someone up and do something cause thatd be weird but serioulsy we should get together like everyone and just hang out and talk for a night. other than just working and being with holly i havent been doing to much. no big plans for leaving or anything...im here for a few years anyway.

i really gotta get back to church one of these days. my lack or should i say desire to sleep has overcome me the last couple weeks. ill be there next week forsure.

hey look no tea!

2005-06-25T15:20:00.000-07:00

so yeah im in bc now. and im a little stressed cause i dont have all that much money and my job is post poned for another week cause if some crazy engineering flaw or something. anyway so i guess for now ill just be living in my car slash couch riding for another week. some people have the most comfortable couches. anyway. last night was pretty fun i rode in couquitlam with everyone again. i learn really funny looking 360 turndowns out of the quarter pipe. they are fun. anyway im just bored today its a little hot and there arent many people at the park. i played guitar for a bit and had a slurpee. tonight maybe ill ride again. well i will ride again. still trying to get ahold of my boss to see if i can work this week somewheres else so i can have money. anyway i have nothing else to say.

a cup of tea anyone?

2005-05-21T11:58:00.000-07:00

so im at my gram's house in killarney manitoba right now. we just sat down for a cup of tea it was so nice. its good to be back and to catch up on everything that is happening is my familys lives.

kendra lori marce cherise and jen came over last night that was nice. kendra and marce came for pizza supper and we had strawberry kiwi smoothies cause im on a kick right now. then we had a fire and went out for ice cream. it felt good to have friends again. ahh yes. im going to the ranch on monday to visit eric and do some biking. i think cherise and kendra are coming with me. its gonna be so fun.

im still waiting to find out when i go back to BC. i hope its not to soon cause itd be nice to have somemore time here with family.

well its really windy here so i think ill blow away now. ahhhhhhhhh

phil

God is at work

2005-05-19T21:39:00.000-07:00

do you ever find yoruself somewhere talking to someone and you never planned it. and then you end up being totally encouraged and effected by that conversation.

i had one of those nights tonight. i was talking to someone and he really lifted me up and showed me what i needed to be shown. and that is that i need to trust in God. its funny cause at the gate the trench series that i was there far a part of was about trust and i was touched by that and now this. i really felt God just speaking to me tonight. i need to be less concerned about things and just let God handle them. have faith like a child...so true. dont stress out over decisions pray about it and have trust that God will do good no matter what and that he will influence our decisions. ive decided to go to BC again. i feel that God has big plans for me this year and that vancouver island is where i am going to be. i want to be a missionary and a pastor but not the kind that you think of i want to just be a christian and do what God has called of me. i feel that God is going to use me to reach people at skateparks and busstops and coffee shops and at my work place and just everywhere. the trick is letting him. churches are good for people who have faith and want to grow. only a small percentage of those searching will find a church. if someone has a deep faith issue cahnces are they arent going to end up at your church snuday morning or at your church plant or in mexico at the house you are building. they are going to be sitting there at tim hortens or starbucks drinking coffee and wracking their brains. or at the skatepark or deliverign your mail. in the park or on the bus. that is where i feel i need to reach people. now im not meaning to belittle churches and missionaries who do other sorts of things because that is needed as well but im saying that you who are in the world. going to school and working. you to are missionaries talk to people let them tell you about their lives tell them about yours. sow the seeds, dont force feed them with yuor faith but instead let them ask you. be the light that God has called us to be.

phil

party at my parents house

2005-05-18T21:15:00.000-07:00

so im having a party. on friday at my house cause my parents are gone. so yeah itll be at 6pm. if you want to come for supper ill buy some of those good ol cheap pizzas from superstore. give me a shout if you want to come for supper with me so i can get enough food for everyone. oh and if you come for supper bring a 2L of pop. spread the word cause i dont want to.

anyway this town is terribly boring and i need something to do. maybe i'll climb a tree or something. or whatever.

nothing to grand has been happening lately just got home from lethbridge alberta and i love it there. the slurpees are so good. before that i was in calgary, banff, and British columbia. i think i want to go back to vancouver island. it'll be interesting to see what happens in the next while in my life.

call me and let me know about friday.
phil

visit the gate...

2005-05-18T18:47:00.000-07:00

hey check out the gates webpage and listne to some of the messages if you find yourself bored.

www.thegate.org

what to do in this town...

2005-05-18T18:41:00.000-07:00

so i find myself yet again home in winkler. today i went biking and much like the old days there is nothing to ride around here. i heard that there are some new bikers around though and this is exciting. ive started using an emac rather than my parents other computers and i like it very much. its very different using an apple computer and one thing i dont like is that msn messenger is not quite as advanced as it is for PC. thats okay though.

ive been reading a blog written primarily by Phil Baker, he is a pastor from perth australlia. ive heard some of his stuff from cd and i like it. check out his blog...www.philbaker.net.

well im not to sure what to do right now maybe ill go out and do some more biking or something. talk to you all soon.

phil

im back

2005-05-17T22:23:00.000-07:00

hey everyone im back in winkler and who knows for how long so if you want to see me we better plan. hollys not here till the 24th so im pretty much wide open. im gonna head out to the ranch i think one of these days and maybe out to warrens if he still has dirt jumps or if hes even still in winkler. but yeah call me, you know the number and if you dont shame on you. hahaha. well i hope rain doesnt happen tomorrow i want to ride "street" like the old days. good times. by for now.

phil

things change and so do people

2005-05-14T04:10:00.000-07:00

hello again.

well im still in lethbridge alberta. right now its 4am and im lying in joels bed(he is in a tent out back sleeping...oh joel) anyway i cant sleep. like the past week i still cannot sleep. there is so much going on inside my head i just cant put myself to sleep. i was all set to come home and take a break and move to the city in the fall but it looks as though things are about to change. if all goes well ill be in nanaimo bc at the beginning of june working with the same construction crew as i was when last in bc. ill be there for 9 months or there about. i kind of debated this point and now i think ill go. ill be home on wednesday sometime who knows when. i wonder when ill stop. i wonder when ill finally settle in one place for more than 10 months. it hasnt even been two years and ill have lived in winkler twice, lethbridge and abbotsford. three cities and three provinces. soon to be yet another city. i wonder. where ill be in two years. will i be here in lethbridge or in bc? manitoba? the north pole? what will i be doing. there is so much going on right now you only know the half of it. my thoughts are so crowded there is no room for more. my stress levels are on high, im nervous and scared and anxious and calm. happy and yet sad, decided but undecided. im living my life to have fun. im young and i want to enjoy my youth and experience the "world" of canada. lol yay for canada. im only nineteen. and i will be for another almost four months. ive done so much before i reached twenty i cant imagine waht i will accomplish before i turn thirty. will i have a business or a ministry kids a wife. man thats scary. anyway im not really tired at all and i most likely wont sleep any time soon but i should try at least.

if you get a chance today go outside and find a tree and some grass and sit under that tree. at a park or somewhere where you can stare at nature stare at life being lived. and think. think about your life and what youve done. think about how awesome God really is. did you know that there is a type of rock that scientissts have fount to have a glow. they say that this kind of rock that has been discoverd was formed in an instant and never had a chance to cool and thus has a glow about it. interesting...if that were the end of this discovery. this rock sample was taken from the rocky mountains. think about that for a second and tell me that God isnt awesome. yeah

drink the living water and never go thirsty again.
phil

in good company

2005-05-10T23:56:00.000-07:00

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13 TNIV Bible

i am really starting to like this translation. being in lethbridge has helped me to see that life is what you make it. i can be happy anywhere i am. all i need is a few close friends a good church and some money.

God you can always trust, man will let you down. tis' true. trust in God
phil

yup

2005-05-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

so im still in leth contemplating life and what about it is fun and all. having a blast with joel and rocking the gate and the skatepark just like old times. today joel and i went downtown to visit king of trade, then off to extreme pita where i had my usual. the gate was awesome. it was the first time i had ever been to the trench on monday night. i was awesome to hear everyone there and how much of a loving group it truly is.

for those of you who arent familiar with the trench it is directed towards leaders in ministry and how we can deal with things that arise sort of thing. tonight we talked about trust and what to do if we break someones trust. it was awesome to learn about that and see how i can apply it to my life. i honestly missed the gate so much i had forgotten how much it made me enjoy going to church. we went bowling tonight and i bowled 144 and 153. not to bad i suppose. anyway im going biking tomorrow and maybe ill watch the amazing race. well ill leave you with some scripture that i recieved through email. i get daily verses from tinsdale or something. its kinda fun. anyway here you go...

Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. Do not put out the Spirit's fire. Do not treat prophecies with contempt but test them all; hold on to what is good, reject whatever is harmful. May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-23 TNIV Bible

God Bless

riding in the sky

2005-05-04T00:39:00.000-07:00

so today rocked i started out in kirkstone at a sweet park then went and rode the seylynn bowl which was built in the late 70s. after that i went a rode park gate and hastings. fun i relearned feeble grinds to hop over on the spine. then i went to coquitlam and chilled there till late. i also relearned tire taps and 180 barspins as well. i got to ride with dustin guenther hes a pro. we had some good talks about when he used to live in lethbridge and what there is to ride there now. and we talked about tricks and his new frame that is coming out. it was awesome. and he even cheared when i landed my barspin 180. im having such a blast out here and im meeting so many nice people its fun.

tomorrow i leave for banff. and thursday i plan to snowboard from open to close at sunshine village then ill be off to calgary to ride at millenium. so much fun. then friday ill ride millenium again then off to lethbridge for a while then home. oh itll be good to be home. but i wont have anything to ride. maybe ill road trip to saskatoon.

okay well its time for bed so ill talk to you all later when im back in the winkler town.

greeting from the best buy parking lot!

2005-05-02T12:53:00.000-07:00

hello everyone, friends, family, friends of friends and family, pets, trees, others.

oops i got disconnected for just a minute...im back though i just had to move closer to the building. anyway im still in vancouver, right now im riding in port coquitlam cause the park just got finished so i want to ride for a bit before i dont forever. its been really nice out here im gonna miss it, but i found out yestarday from the skatepark builder who built the poco skatepark that he is building a new million dollar park at the forks starting this july and it should be done in october. sweet ill finally have something decent to ride out there. anyway i cant be to long well i guess i could be cause i have nothing else to do but hey. i miss everyone out there and ill be home soon.

oh and if you are wondering where i am i actually am in the best buy parking lot bumming wireless signals for my interwebs. hehehe. and sorry kendra i got disconnected and had to move closer to the building and you were gone when i got back.

see you all soon
phil

well here it is...

2005-04-30T02:30:00.000-07:00

so this is it. itll be a while till i can update this again but wh.o knows maybe ill steal some wireless from someone. in any case my internet will be gone tomorrow or today i guess. its been a great time out here in the west but like all good times this one to shall come to an end.

tomorrow i return the modem and sign out of my apt finish all the paper work. then its off to the port coquitlam skatepark where i will ride all day as late as i can without falling asleep. then its sleeping in my car and who knows after that. i think ill start the journey on sunday morning but who knows im in no hurry to get anywhere. joel wont be in lethbridge till the 7th and that is like in a week so i have lots of time to kill before then. but yeah

just so you know im safe and im not updating cause i have no internet. and i have nothing else to say really. see you when i see you.

phil

today was okay...

2005-04-26T22:05:00.000-07:00

the best thing about going to the skatepark is that you always know there will be someone there to ride with. always. you dont have to call anyone or go at a certain time there is always someone there. just imagine if you were to go to the hockey rink at a given time without calling anyone and there would just be people there to play with. everytime. or if you wanted to sing you could go to a concert hall and there would be a band and whatever there to back you up.

its just one of the best things about my sport and i love it. i spent 8 hours at the skatepark today having conversations about everything from online forums to selling fake items online. this one guy said that he had sold ipod photos for 500 bucks and because he said photos in the title of his item its legal. and another guy sold the box for his xbox for 150 bucks. man people are suckers i feel sorry for the people who get caught with these things. anyway it was a great day and on top of it all i got the worst sunburn ive ever had. i am a lobster. ive even got a cold water soaked towel on my shoulders. ouch. i want my mommy to comfort me. mommy. ill be home soon. anyway i should go lie down and watch a movie. have a good night and ill see you all soon.

phil

reflection

2005-04-26T00:04:00.000-07:00

one great thing about being alone is the personal time that you have to reflect upone life and whatever. tonight has been no different...

...so i was sitting at my laptop(acutally my prents) emailing someone close to me when i hear faint cries of a name. as i get up form my and walk to the balchony, muting the television as i walk, i hear 'carly'...'carly'. this sparked my interest and i sat back down to continue my email. a few minutes later i hear it again. this time a different voice all together. becoming more inclined i promptly end my email and hop on my steel work horse. its 10pm and here i am flying down the road trying to help search for this 'carly' whom i know nothing about or what even is going on. i soon discover that 'carly' is actually 'harley' a black german shepard who has gone astray. releived that the wasnt a missing girl i continued on my way hoping to maybe come across the beloved missing pet.

after scanning the area i moved on in my late night jounrey. sitting at a fountain in downtown listening to copeland in my minidisc, i observe a man approach a woman. my first thought was that this woman was indeed a prostitue. a few moments later the couple was joined by a third party, another woman. upon conversing for a short time, the threesome parted ways. the women walked around to my left and the man to my right. alerted by this i devised a quit gettaway if this was, infact, an ambush. it wasnt and i relaxed. as i turn around i see the man walking down the same path that the women just dissapeared down. going firmly on my first theory i travelled swiftly around the building to see what was to transpire from this. once around the building i find two women running hastily across a parking lot and a man running after them. they escaped after the overweightish man stopped exercising.

two somewhat odd events later i move on. biking by a crew of parking lot painters i observe their trade and move on wondering what kind of person you would have to be to take that job.

i saw the moon it was huge and orange and coming out from behind a mountain. it was glorious. so i followed it. biking for what seemed like 30 minutes i ended up by a lake where i could see the moon in all its beauty. i ditched my bike on the ground and took a spot on a stone fence overlooking the lake and the moon. it was quiet and peaceful. that is where i thought about life only to be interupted by a couple sneaking into the park behind me to do who knows what under the shadow of darkness. i sat staring at the moon for a long time thinking about what im doing with my life and where im going to go from here.

one my way home i saw a tin can fly out of a dumpster, very random on a normal night but not tonight. i lingered to find a homeless man climbing out of set dumpster. wondering if i should talk to him i decided that i would pass and went on my way. lately ive felt very called to talk to the homeless but for some reason i wont allow myself. noticing all of the late night stores closing up i realized the time and rode home.

God made the earth we live on, we made the world we live in.

Godblessyou
phil

so it really sucks out here right now

2005-04-24T15:54:00.000-07:00

this has been the nicest week ive seen in bc and im bored out of my mind. i have noone to call or visit or anything. my vacuum seems to have vanished with the girls down the hall that moved out. crappy and i just have nothing to do. i wish i could just leave but alas i cannot due to my lack of money untill friday. im worried about holly already and she has only been gone for like two days. arg. sounds like marcia is having a good time in winkler and i wish i could be there to visit with everyone again. soon though i suppose. i dont really have anything to say. i slept on the couch last night with all my windows and patio door open it was so nice it was like camping inside sorta.

whatever.

im so bored and alone

2005-04-23T14:31:00.000-07:00

so yestarday was my last day of work. yay i guess. holly and heidi are gone and that is it no more friends out here. so i have nothing to do. i cleaned my car today and the windows in my apartment. ill do laundry later i suppose. it just doenst feel like saturday cause i didnt have to take holly to mcc or pick her up and i had to buy my own lunch today.

so i have one week to entertain myself with cleaning and biking so we'll see how that goes. maybe ill go on an adventure. hmmm. nah

if you are super bored you can call me if you feel rich or your parents do. hahaha

604 - 851 - 5197
only one week of this phone number left lets make the best of it eh
phil

letting life pass me by

2005-04-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

recently ive been on a personnal quest to find awesome bands and tell noone. hee hee ha(sarcastic). so anyway i freakin cant wait to get out of this hole and leave it behind in my dust. man. pleasing people is crap and i want to snowboard. im going biking right now even though i should cut my nails. only 9 days of work and my word for today is indeed. dont know why dont care either. see you when i see you.

phil

hello yet again

2005-04-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

so i figured i should update you all on what exactly is going on in the land of phil. well i have only three weeks left out here in bc. two weeks of work and one week of fun and biking. then its off to lake lousie and sunshine village for two days of snowboarding goodness. upon leaving the area i will go to calgary and bike at millenium for a day or so and then off to lethbridge where i will hopefully spend a couple of weeks as a couch nomad. hey joel remember what happened last time i stayed at your house. i ended up staying...probably not this time though.

i may have found a place in winnipeg for the late summer. im living with james fehr and jason peters of winkler. yay winkler. anyway this place is great its like right close to alterego sports on pembina and its awesome. 800 square feet witha fireplace and a pool basket ball court great view dishwasher airconditioning laundry 3rd floor. all for only 783 everything included. yippee. i like place hunting. so yeah.

things have been crappy out here weather wise with the rain and all but hey. im gonna watch heartlands again tonight. its so good. and its the weekend yay. that means i get to do whatever i want to tomorrow. nothing it is. or maybe biking or shopping at mcc or value village.

aparently i am going out to starbucks for "coffee" so anyway love you all and ill see you soon. yay im coming home. yay. did i mentoin yay.

joel i see you sooner than the rest yay again.

enjoy the sun while it still shines
phil

inner being changing feeling

2005-04-03T23:04:00.000-07:00

alot is happening in life right now. what with me living alone for the first time or getting ready for another adventure. life right now seems to just be floating by and all i can do is not really care to much. only three weeks left of work and only two weeks until my love will be placed in europe. myself is changing. i feel gentle and calm as if i can just relax for once in the silence that is my home. i feel carefree for the first time in a while. ive got money and a home and a soulmate. i went and bought a snowboard, it was on sale. i figured it was time to pick up something sorta new a change from the norm of things. biking working sleeping watching tv. i needed a change. and my hair. well tomorrow i say goodbye as i will be parting with it. its time for a change of life, a change of habit, of comfortability. just a change. oh and if you want to just relax, take a night and rent "heartlands". watch it alone and just enjoy life. okay.

live to change and love to live
goodnight

i saw fred today

2005-03-31T20:00:00.000-08:00

hey so today sucked straight up. i didnt want to get out of bed cause we had a huge party last night and so i only got like 4 hours of sleep for the 5th or 6th day in a row. plus today at work i got hit in the face with a hammer. that sucked. my jaw is sore. anyway its rainy here today and i hate it. my roommate is moving out tomorrow so itll be nice and quiet around here. i like the quiet. i bought bindings today cause they were only $50 bucks. from my roommate. awesome.

so yeah i was drving down the highway today and i saw fred my old firefighting roomy driving along side me. poor guy wasnt in the HOV(carpool lane). anyway my train of thought is lost. bye then

phil