Legends of the Drunken Master

I've Moved

2005-04-20T11:24:00.000-04:00

Legends of the Drunken Master has moved to masterfoley.com. Update you Feeds and BlogRolls.

New Beginnings

2005-04-14T09:12:00.000-04:00

This weekend I have this fucker's birthday party.

This is my best friend Jason. We are going to Keeneland for the day on Saturday. Then out to eat at Tomo's. Finally to the Blue Moon to shake our booty.

Plan on not hearing from me until Monday morning and probally not until later in the afternoon. Tonight Paddy Wagon's is on like Donkey Kong. I have a Beer Card that is begging to be finished. Tomorrow I have the day off, so I'm going to Keeneland with my brother for the Maker's Mark Thoroughbreds & Red Heads Day.

The Web-Divas will be implementing my new blog template sometime today, so look for the new look soon. Oh and I have purchased a domain name (masterfoley.com), so update your BlogRolls.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-04-12T13:39:00.000-04:00

Ten Favorite Foods

1) Pretzels
2) General Tso’s chicken
3) Chicken & Dumplings from Cracker Barrel
4) Perogies
5) Reese’s peanut butter cups
6) Sushi
7) Burgoo – Keeneland makes the best
8) My mom’s spaghetti
9) Chocolate Delight – dessert a friend makes – delish
10) Shrimp – favorite food as a kid

Operation Party: Success

2005-04-11T14:27:00.000-04:00

I came home Friday after work to a fridge full of party platters from Blimpie. Hopped in the shower to clean myself up from a hard days "work". Poured myself an Amberbock and watched the daily drama of my next door neighbor and her fuck buddy from a couple of doors down. I hope the never completely call it off. It's the best Soap Opera in town.

Nothing freaks ya out more than when a cop pulls into your parking lot to chit-chat with someone and you have underage people coming over to drink. He left and everyone arrived without incident. I should say one. My brother took the most hellathious dump in my toilet upstairs. As our mother would say, "The smell could gag a maggot."

With that out of the way we could party. And as everyone knows by now I love to party. There is something magical about having your own party. Knowing everyone is having a great time and you brought it together. The highlight of the night was when I called Tex to see if he was still gonna make it. I got the impression when I called that he wasn't. Not but ten minutes later someone hugs me from behind while I was outside smoking. I had no clue who it was. Seemed everyone was accounted for in my quick scan. Once I was free there was Tex. I love hanging out with this kid.

On with the pictures that we all know are worth a 1000.

You go Birthday Girl.

I'm like Charlie and his Angels.

Look at this kid. I taught him everything I know.

Arbanna and the Shocker. YEAH!

Tiny. That girl was just not right. LOL

Tex and his lady friends.
I taught him everything I know too.

Look at that booty. Absolutely fabulous.

What is with me an shit-eating gins.
Oh I know. A hottie on my front and back.

Birthday Girl Tara dancing under the stars.

The PIMP says good-bye to the ladies.
And before I go. Licking Peppermint Schnapps off of boobies is mighty fun and delicious.

Hottie of the Week

2005-04-11T09:09:00.000-04:00

Last week, Emperor Joe mentioned that Mena Suvari needs to be a Hottie. I replied, "You are absolutely correct." This week we have the stunning beauty from American Beauty and American Pie.

IMDb has a lot more info on Mena.

Party Tonight

2005-04-08T10:21:00.000-04:00

That's right I'm having a suprise birthday party for the lovely Tara.

Oddly Enough

2005-04-07T09:37:00.000-04:00

Last night I was at the Fun*Asylum for Manley's D&D game and the crew was waiting to get started. Two scantly clad ladies were strolling up the street with this dude. One girl was barely wearing a tank top that showed most of her tight stomach and her ass was hanging out of her shorts. Then we hear Helmut proclaim, "My old lady has panties that over more flesh than those shorts." Everyone busted out laughing.

peculiar about this scene is the dude was wearing a parka and the weather in KY was pushing over 70 degrees. Everyone came to the conclusion that this guy must be the girl's pimp. As the true PIMP knows pimps gotta be practical. A parka in the early evening of a hot spring day is just not practical.

At this point everyone had enough and flood outside to get a better look at the ladies. One was swing from the lamp post at this point. After some hooting, hollering, and cat-calls the girls scampered off to their apartment up the street. With the distraction gone we attempted to play D&D. As I have mentioned before many times a game will melt into dribble. We tried so hard to stay on task but that distraction was etched into our craniums.

The game session was over and we parted ways, Manley and I walked up to the street corner to where I had to cross the street and he had to head in the opposite direction to his apartment. There that girl was bent over the railing in front of her apartment. Could the gods be any crueler too me?

Sex?

2005-04-05T14:36:00.000-04:00

No I'm not out asking the blogsphere to help me end my dry spell. But if there are any takers. *WINK*

I just thought it amusing the other day while driving to work I saw a bull mounting a heifer. Just going to town. Animals having sex is some of the funniest shit on the planet. You know that scene in Bad Boys 2 when Marin Lawrence sees two rats humping. He crackles over the radio to Will Smith, "Papa rat is humping mama rat. They have sex like we do." You get the idea: animals having sex is funny. Makes me laugh every time.

Now Paula over at UltraBlog was commenting on this news story, and I had read the same thing over at Yahoo! News. The stories rehashs the findings that teens are having more oral sex than vaginal sex. I said to myself, "Well duh." When President Clinton says on National TV that it's not sex what are kids gonna think. Oral sex is sex, people. Look! It has the word "sex" in it.

Why do we have to be such a sexually repressed nation? For those of us that have had sex we know it feels good. Oh did I mention the monsoon season hasn't started yet.

On a side note, Playdough Enterprises has finally (with bated breath) updated their blog with some choice phatties. Maybe I could slap one of those phatties and ride the wave to the Promise Land.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-04-05T11:13:00.000-04:00

10 News Stories You Are Sick Of

1) Sprint-Nextel merger
2) GW rants
3) Hillary Clinton rants
4) NCAA Tournament – poor Cats
5) Excuses about Fuel Costs
6) War in Iraq
7) Britney Spears being fat
8) Martha Stewart
9) The Pope
10) Michael Jackson and his Jesus Juice

Blah

2005-04-04T15:31:00.000-04:00

What a relatively boring ass weekend I had.

I watched Degrassi and RFR which I haven't gotten to see in a long time since I have been watching SciFi Channel on Fridays. My brother had some friends over to cook their "family" dinner. Normally they cook in the dorm, so I got to give him all kinds of shit. It was so much fun embarrassing him in front of his friends. They loved it and he took it well. What are brothers for?

Saturday I got up fairly early because I thought I was going to get my hair cut. Carolyn had called me earlier in the week to schedule it for a later time on Saturday which quite honestly was better. I could actually sleep in, but she called me early to let me know she might have to cancel since her daughter had gotten sick while spending the night at a friends. Carolyn never called me back so I thought I was still getting my hair cut. At 10:30 I was at Salon 116 and waited. Waited for about 20 minutes before I left. Hopefully Carolyn will call me to reschedule.

Next was my usually D&D Minis tournament at Fun*Asylum. I had to play Manley Holiday in the first round. I'm the man with the best win percentage I have bragging rights and most people boast that they are gonna take me down. Very few accomplish that. What was too funny is that Manley and I brought the same exact Warbands to the table. Die rolls prevailed on his part and won the match. He then had to play two other exciting matches; one of which he did lose. My next two matches were a joke since I had to play two of the younger kids and both gave up before the match was over. I felt bad. I felt worse scoring a second place finish over Manley's fourth place finish. I didn't even have to work for any of the results.

After that I stayed late to play in a Star Wars minis tournament that featured the new set that was released that day. We had twelve people play in a tournament that cost $40 because you had to buy a starter and a booster. What an amazing turnout. It was a blast.

It was eleven o'clock and I rolled over to my parents to drop the G.D.O. ("garage door opener" if you are a Stargate SG-1 geek) that I forgot to do when I left Friday. I also needed to pick all the stuff I left there. It was late Friday and I just wanted to sleep in my own bed for a change. My mom washed my cloths for me that I left there even washed my A&F scrub pants that I didn't even wear that week. Also nicked my 4-quart pot my mom bought be back in college. Works wonders for cooking pasta; no boiling over. Then I went home and watched Unfaithful.

Sunday morning I woke up to candle wax all over the place. See the night before I was trying to gingerly melt two candles together. Then I forgot about those candles when I went to bed. Thank goodness I didn't burn the apartment down. I had wax pooled on each shelf and nice drip paths down the top to the bookshelf down to the bottom. Wax was splattered all over the carpet and pulled in a huge hunk in front of the bookshelf which I have still not gotten up. Most of the wax is off the bookshelf but still all over the carpet. Anyone have any ideas?

Went and played D&D like I normally do on Sunday afternoons. I came home and started watching 10 Things I Hate About You. About halfway through the movie the doorbell rings. My doorbell never rings. Guess who it is? Come on any guess. Well it was the crazy neighbor that likes to interrupt me while I'm watching TV. I was nice this time and invited her in. Let me tell she pushes my envelop of patients. She comes into my house and proceeds to tell me about all her "love" problems and shit. Like I give a rat's ass about her issues. At least it made me get up and put my laundry away that was clean before last weekend but never put away because I was taking care of the mutt.

Did I mention I forgot to change the time on my clocks so I missed church on Sunday too. I had every intention of going. While I was talking to the crazy neighbor I changed my clocks too.

This morning I went to the bathroom to poop like I usually do in the morning and someone had pissed all over the seat. I'm not talking a little dribble here and there but all over the fucking seat. Like the guy was a fucking painter. Took me like five minutes to wipe the thing off. I'm enjoying my poop and the guy that entered the stall next to me screeches like a girl and shouts, "Cockroach!" My goodness what a wuss. Hopefully the rest of the week will be better, sports-fans.

Hottie of the Week

2005-04-04T10:12:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend I borrowed Unfaithful from my parents starring Diane Lane. What a steamy thriller. I highly recommend it. For that Diane Lane is this week's hottie.

Ms. Lane has that unbelievable smile. She has a nice pair of legs too. Check out her official site for more information.

Downward Spiral

2005-04-01T14:19:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to post anything about Paddy Wagon's last night because frankly it sucked ass and I don't want people to feel obligated to give condolences through cyberspace on a trivial matter. I inquired with Kristi about dinner, and she explained she had a boyfriend and didn't realize I was asking like that. Well true I was asking like that but wasn't expecting anything but companionship. Then she said we can still do it as friends which is just a cop out. I'm not going to get in the way and possible cause issues. Seems I'm only ever good enough to be someone's friend.

Now on to the good stuff. Beer. Several people had to take it easy on the spending for next couple of weeks because they just recently got permanent employment I was left drinking with Ben's two friends, Hungry and Andrew. These guys are OK but I barely know them and don't appreciate people that give me shit when they don't know me. I was "late" last night because I have a Commissioner's meeting.

Beer number one for the evening was Murphy's, an Irish Stout. Like all stouts was dark and creamy. It was interesting reading the propaganda on the can about the "draughtflow" that makes the beer pour from the can as if it was from a tap. Good stuff. Give it a try if you like dark beers or stouts.

Beer number two was a Negra Modelo, Mexican dark beer. My Internet research showed that Grupo Modelo brews Pacífico and even Corona. I guess we can call these the Anheuser-Busch of our neighbors to the south. Needless-to-say, Negra Modelo was an excellent beer. I would even say it's better than Dos Equis, and I love Dos Equis. If you like Dos Equis or dark beers you gotta give Negra Modelo a whirl.

Beer number three was a trusty Amberbock and we all know how I feel about this gem. I decided to save the rest of the beers on the Card for when I could celebrate with friends. I wasn't feeling my normal celebratory mood at this moment and wanted to go home.

On a side note, Kristi was convinced to discuss with the owner about adding a couple of more beers to the List. I was out last summer at one of my favorite restaurants in Lexington called the Atomic Cafe. They serve some of the best Caribbean food. The have this rum cake with fresh fruit that is to die for. Atomic was serving a micro-brew from a company called Flying Dog. Doggie Style was their darker beer and with a name like that I was hooked. The stuff is awesome.

Before anyone asks. None of this is an April Fool's joke.

It's True

2005-03-31T12:04:00.000-05:00

You Are An Elm Tree

You are easygoing and a pleasure to be around.
Good looking, you have a pleasant shape and tasteful clothes.
You demand little in others, but you tend not to forgive their mistakes.
Dominant, you like to lead and enjoy making decisions for others.
Overall, you are cheerful, honest, noble, generous, and funny.

What is Your Celtic Horoscope?

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Take the quiz at dicepool.com

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Been awhile since I have posted some quizzes for my fellow bloggers. Enjoy.

Stupid Dog

2005-03-30T22:58:00.000-05:00

I get home from work to let Maggie out and then to feed her. Fucking dog decided she would dig up the soil in a potted plant my mother left out in the garage. I just don't get it.

Lovely Day

2005-03-30T00:14:00.000-05:00

I swear sometimes it doesn't pay to wake up in the morning. Everything was fairly smooth this morning considering I have to sleep in a lumpy spring-ridden twin mattress with a dog. I let her out and feed her then hop in the shower. Usually she is right outside the door being nosy but this morning I found her curled up in the bed. She was acting like she was sleeping. I thought this a bit odd but figured it was better then her pestering me. I bound down stairs to put my lunch together and round the corner of the hallway and find a little Lincoln Log near the end of the table. At least its solid I thought to myself. Around the corner there is another one. Great.

I get a paper towel to pick up the logs and as I bent over to pick up the original loaf in the dimly lit hallway I spy another piece of poop. I bend over and pick up that piece of poop only to see another two lumps at the other end of the hallway. This is when the dog knows she fucked up and skitters into the laundry room to hide. Thank goodness I hadn't stepped in those piles in the hallway or I would have been livid.

I take the dog outside and dispose of the turds in the yard. I leave her outside and proceed to clean up the spots on the carpet. Then I hunt around the house to make sure she didn't leave any other turd pyramids. Try to be nice the beast and what does she do but shit all over the place. Damn dog is sleeping in the garage tonight.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-03-29T14:44:00.001-05:00

Ten Great Moments in TV

1) Smurfs
2) Seinfeld series finale
3) Janet’s boob at the Superbowl
4) “Where’s The Beef?” commercials
5) Survivor All-Star season finale
6) Iron Chef
7) MTV – way back in the day when they played videos
8) Howard Stern’s ass during the 1993 MTV Music Awards
9) Block Party in NY during the black out in 200?
10) 1998 NCAA tournament – Go Cats

Quest

2005-03-29T11:23:00.000-05:00

My parents have gone out of town to Charleston, SC for their anniversary, and I have to take care of the mutt, Maggie, this week.

She is a great dog, but I swear can be a pain in the ass sometimes. She has to sleep in the bed with you. In a twin bed in my brother's room that doesn't leave much room for you. She begs for food like she never gets feed too.

I told my parents I would work on their computer. Seems they had an issue with Norton Anti-Virus and uninstalled it. Now they can't find the CD-ROM to reinstall it. Last night I installed AOL Instant Messenger and Yahoo! Instant Messenger because I will be spending most of my nights at the house. I didn't want to get bored. The Internet was running really slow, so I ran Ad-Aware and SpyBot to hopefully get rid of the spyware and adware on the computer. I then installed AVG free anti-virus for them. Then installed some Windows Updates XP was begging to be installed. Then I decided I better defrag the hard drive. Let me just say that this too all fucking night. Needless to say I didn't get to go searching for any PORN. When I get home I still have to scan the registry for spyware entries that weren't removed by Ad-Aware and SpyBot.

Also found out that someone hacked the router and changed the password, so when my parents get home I have to fix that for them. The Internet works right now, so I'm not gonna worry about it. The shit I do for my parents.

Hottie of the Week

2005-03-28T09:09:00.000-05:00

This week we have a couple of hotties I found while searching for images of the Bush twins.

If this doesn't make you patriotic, I don't know what will.
Enjoy.

99 Bottles

2005-03-25T10:54:00.000-05:00

I went home after work to get something to eat and catch up on some Stargate SG-1 episodes before heading out to Paddy Wagon's. If you remotely like sci-fi, saw the movie, or think Richard Dean Anderson is hot watch this show. It's awesome. Emperor Joe calls me and says he is ten minutes from the bar. My cue to get ready to leave.

As ususal I park on the side of the bar. It's really cool now because they have poles down the length of the building with Irish flags blowing in the wind. Very cool. Joe is at a bar table with a PBR in hand. I sit down and light up a cigarette with him.

I get this tap on my shoulder and I looked over one shoulder and then the other. Nothing. Went back to smoking. Then I was thinking man that's weird. No one showed themselves. I look over my shoulders again. Nothing. A moment passes and I look down behind my chair there was Kristi. She stands up and hands me my Beer Card.

I order a St. Pauli Girl to start the day off. One of Germany's famous beers. Very crisp and clean. Like most German beers it has that somewhat awful aftertaste. As Emperor Joe stated it tasted like a skunk. Very much an acquired taste. If you like German beer and haven't tired this beer be sure to. Personally I would wonder why if you are drinking German beer why you haven't had a St. Pauli Girl yet.

Next was a Blue Moon. Brewed by Coors. This little gem has a nice amber color, but it's Belgium brewing process gives it a opaque sheen. Your pint glass is garnished with an orange slice makes it taste oh so good. Definitely give this one a try.

Then I had a Czechvar. As the name suggests this beer comes from the Czech Republic. Not to bad but I liked Pilsner Urquell better. About the time I was finishing off this beer Ben and his friends showed up. Low and behold Ben bring a woman with him.

Joe and I with Joe's friend, Dave, go up to join them in one of the larger booths. This mystery woman's name is Jamie seemed like a cool chica. She liked beer. Always a plus in my book. She was checking me out most of the night but I didn't want to cock block because Ben needs all the help he can get.

Back to the beer. Paddy's just recently put Smithwick's on tap. I really liked Smithwick's. Brewed and imported by Guinness and it's Ireland's oldest ale. Deep in color with a nice white foamy head tasted a lot like Guinness. If you like Guinness you know what to do with Smithwick's.

At this point I'm buzzing pretty good. Ben's lady friend had a Bass and didn't really enjoy it. I had been saving this one because even though I have never had one I knew I would like it. I'm a big fan of beers from the British Isles. Sure enough I enjoyed the crisp clean taste with a slight bitter aftertaste you can't find in American beers. Always watered down to make them more palatable to the masses. Bass is a classic beer. Put it on your list if you haven't tried it.

Finally to finish off the night I had a Hefeweizen, a wheat beer. I'm not a huge fan of wheat beers the aftertaste doesn't appeal to me. Maybe someone can write a more impartial review. Although I love Sam Adams Cherry Wheat. That hint of cherry makes it so much fun to drink.

That was the night. I only have five beers left on the Beer Card. Although I'm thinking about asking Paddy Wagon's to add a few more of my favorites to the list.

Oh wait. You probably want to hear how things went with Kristi. I couldn't of asked for better outcome. Kristi sat down with me when she brought me my tap and I said to her, "You have to let me cook you dinner sometime." "Really you can cook." "Sure I can." "What's your specialty." "I can make really good spaghetti." "Meatballs?" "I can see what I can do." Kristi will be out of town for Easter and is helping a friend on her days off next week. We decided to figure it out next Thursday.

Leap of Faith

2005-03-24T14:35:00.000-05:00

After I posted the picture of Kristi and me from St. Patick's Day everyone was either asking me who she is or telling me she is hot. Many of those people kept asking me why I don't ask her out, and I really can't give them a good reason why. Other than I'm a pussy.

Since I'm trying to be more confident person and show other women that I have a lot to offer. I will be talking to Kristi this evening. I was thinking of asking her if I could make her dinner. We all know I'm not too shabby.

I tell ya it has been eating at my insides all week that I'm gonna have to do this. I just been so nervous. Last night I was thinking that those few times that I have taken the bull by the horns and talked to a girl I have done alright for myself. I said gee I can take a Leap of Faith one more time (or as many as it takes) and see what happens. Even if I fall flat on my face at least I tried.

Along with a beer review tomorrow, I let you know what Kristi says.

Pearly Whites

2005-03-23T17:31:00.000-05:00

I didn't get to work today until 9:30. I scheduled a dentist appointment while I was enjoying my day off. I haven't been to the dentist in four and half years. Not having insurance will do that to ya. They treated me like a new patient since I hadn't been there in so long. Had to have new x-rays and re-verified my medical history. One of the x-rays was a panoramic x-ray. I had to bite down on this mouthpiece, put my hands on these handlebars then the imaging screen automatically came down and spun around my head. Felt like I was in Total Recall. Boy did my hygenist had to scrap some tartar off my teeth, especially around my retainer. That wire gets so much nasty shit on it. Everything checked out and I have no decay. Yeah. Also, figured out why, as of late, I have been having those headaches. Seems I grind my teeth in my sleep. Stress related, so I'm going to be fitted for a mouth guard.

Thought I would leave you with this funny pic I found.

Reminds me of those commercials Dole did for Viagra.

The Force is Strong with this One

2005-03-22T11:08:00.000-05:00

:: how jedi are you? ::

I'm Alive

2005-03-22T10:30:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I called in sick and took the day off. I slept in and later wondered upstairs to watch some old episodes of Stargate SG-1. It was two in the afternoon and I decided I better take a shower and go grocery shopping. I went to the bank and transferred money from Savings to Checking so I could by said food. Then I took the elevator upstairs and scheduled a cleaning at my dentist. Nice and convenient huh? Went to Wal-Mart and spent $150 on what I thought would be food for two people. More on that later. Went home and made dinner and watched more Stargate. It was a nice and relaxing day. Seems that my supervisor never got my message that I was going to be out yesterday because he and and everyone else was calling my cell phone wondering where I was. When I got to work this morning Emperor Joe showed me this nice pic he made for me.

I think I should have stayed in bed this morning. On my way to work I couldn't get off on my normal exit because a Semi Truck wouldn't let me get over. I had to go to the next exit and loop back around on the state road back to my normal exit. Then I cross the bridge into the next count and I'm about to the By-Pass in Winchester. A cop pulls me over. I give him my license and insurance. He comes back with my ticket and says I was going 70 in a 55. I said, "I know I wasn't going faster than 65." He said, "That's why you have a court date to contest the citation." Great. Just what I need.

Now back to that grocery thing. I said I thought I was buying for two but not anymore. Dave came by the apartment and said he was moving back in with the succubus. He did say he would pay rent for April to give me time to find a new roommate. I'm thinking that now that I make more money I can easily afford my own place. I just might do that so I won't have to deal with this shit anymore.

Now things get even better. Ben, the GrimSage, tells me that one of his friends that isn't all that attractive mentions that I have no chance in Hell. Gee could this shit stop rolling down hill.

Ten on Tuesday

2005-03-22T10:05:00.000-05:00

10 Things You're Good At

1) Making people laugh
2) Drinking beer
3) Navigation – you know follow directions and not getting lost
4) Compassion
5) Surfing the Internet
6) Poetry
7) Photography
8) Miniature games
9) Solving other people’s problems but my own
10) Cunnilingus - hehe

Hottie of the Week

2005-03-21T08:00:00.000-05:00

This week's Hottie is the lovely Teryl Rothery. Teryl played Dr. Janet Frasier on SciFi Channel's Stargate SG-1.

Fraiser was an integral part of the show until she was killed off at the end of Season Seven. Check out more on Teryl's character at GateWorld. Be sure to check out her official site.