Sex & The Seafront!

Mucking Fuddled!

2007-10-06T08:33:00.000+01:00

Sometimes life is all straight forward with hardly a kink and then at other times it's a right old mucking fuddling puddle of tangledness! I've just finished work and feel about as normal as a washing machine in the desert, my mind is pretty much mush ( some of you maybe thinking, nothings different!) I've been kinda bitchy to my mate David tonight, but it wasn't my fault, he needed it, and it's because he barged his way into Gabriells dressing room the night before last and I always blame him a little bit of the god awful state I was in after our drunken night on the town!

Everything seems to be confusing me at the moment, first there is a new film about the life and times of Bob Dylan that's been approved, but there are six people going to be playing the music man. Richard Gere, Christian Bale, Heath Ledger, Ben Whislaw, and young black actor Marcus Carl Franklin in his movie debut all play the great man, the sixth person in the film to be Bob is.....Cate Blanchett! Yep, confusing!

Troubled actress Lindsay Lohan, yeah that young soak, has checked out of a rehab clinic in Utah where she went in August following charges of drunken driving and cocaine possession, because she says she doesn't have a problem! Yeah right!

Nearly 300 participants started twisting and turning a small multicoloured cube on Friday on the first day of the Rubik's Cube World Championships in Budapest, the birthplace of the cult puzzle. Hello, the Rubik Cube? Have we gone back in time? Didn't we have that in the 80's? Is it back? I've not seen one in peoples hands since, well since I was at school, surely we're not back in the 1980's again, surely I've not slipped back to those heady days when the only thing I had to worry about was beating Marcus 'Fingers' Totting in matching the six colours on the six sides! Well that and not getting caught behind the groundsman's shed having a crafty fag with Gary or a sly five knuckle shuffle in the art store room with Jon! Actually come to think about it, perhaps it would be nice to be back in those days again! But, I'm not going back to having blisters on my thumbs from twisting that poxy cube for anyone!

It's not quite "Jurassic Park", but Swiss archaeologists were in a state of high alarm yesterday after thieves stole traces of a dinosaur footprint from an excavation site! Yep, apparently they just waltzed in and whipped away the footprint said to be 152 million years old. But the experts say that if it comes up for sale they will know about it! Yeah no shit Sherlock! I mean how often do you see a sale for something that old?

A Texas woman has escaped being charged with 'negligent homicide' (only in America!) after she killed her husband with a sherry enema. Tammy Jean Warner was due to go on trial last week but she's been let off due to the lack of evidence! But why on earth would you shove sherry up the arse?

A thief has stolen a cardboard cut-out of a policeman which was put in a store to deter shoplifters! Yeah honestly it's true, Derbyshire Police said a man had been seen on CCTV walking with the picture under his arm from a shop in Grasmere. The cut-outs were first introduced in shops in the area in 2005 in the hope that, at a glance, thieves would think the image was a real officer. But if that was the case, then why did the publicise it, with photo's clearly showing it was a cardboard cut out?

Some of you know that I like my cycling, you'd think that having an accident where I broke my back, coccyx's and knee would have put me off, but no, I think it's great to get out on my two wheels and peddle around, especially in Brighton that has lots and lots of cycle lanes. However some, are perhaps a little ermm short, or as David would say, 'neither use nor ornament' Here's a couple of pics to indicate what I'm on about!

About as much use as a choclate tea pot me thinks! But at least we don't live in South Africa, for down there it seem's the line painter was a little drunk when he returnd to work in the afternoon!

That's ya lot for today!

Drunken explorations!

2007-10-04T18:45:00.000+01:00

I'm not sure who I blame, whether it's our Rachael or perhaps our David, or maybe even me! I arranged to Meet up with David on Tuesday and then by the fickle finger of fate we happened to bump up into little Rachael, so then we popped off for a beverage. Well, one beverage turned into two, which in turn turned into three, and then four and then oh my god it's morning!

Yes, the three of us started out little escapade in red painting of the town in St James, a pub on St James Street, which as thats where we were seemed like a good starting point. Then after that we headed off to The Amsterdam, after sitting on the terrace for a couple it was on to Charles Street and then we twinkled round to VaVoom. Now I dont know how this happened, or why, but after that we went in to Revenge and I tried to pull a student young enough to be my son and then I danced like my dad! Oh how embaracing it was, we;; actually it would have been if the alcohole had not softened my memories of such events.

After clubbing in Revenge, we trapsed up to Legends, which is usually my start and ending venue on any night out. It was great fun being out with David and Rachael, letteing our collective hair down, slagging off the world and enjoying the simple act of being British and perhaps over indluging! Rachael is great fin to be with, so full of life, and energy and she'll talk to anyone that one! Yep, in VaVoom she talked to a cute curly haired student, and when we got back to Legends she found a table and talked to a group of trannys! I cant believe it, so we chatted away like a house on fire to these three ladies, who had rcenetly come back from a competition at The Old Ship Hotel. Now one of the ladies was 73, I was shocked, surprised and my ghast never quite so flabbered! Look good for her age she did, and they sure knew how to have a good time. I'm not saying who is who or which one is 73, just the one in the middle without the wig is David!

God, I'm not sure how much was drunk but my wallet was empty when we returned to my place, when and where Rach me and David played on the internet for a while till time for bed it was. Our own seperate beds in our own seperate places of course!

When I woke yesterday, I wish I hadn't! My head spun, my stomach churned, my body ached and a few moments later my bladder emptied and my bowels exploded. It was the mother of all hangovers, never ever have I felt that bad after a single night out, and never ever ever again am I drinking. I could hardly move, so most of the day I stayed put on the sofa, with the occasional walk for more water to flush the evil poison from my system.

I would hjave stayed on the sofa for the rest of my life had little Jake not forced me out and demanded I suffer the indignity of downing a couple of pints in Amsterdam, the bar not the country. Thank god it was only for a couple and then the little student treated me to a bag of chips on the pier! I know, how touristy, how common, how just perfect! We nattered about this, that, life, universe, number 42, love and pretty much everthing as the wind and dampness blustered at out faces and bodies. Oh the wonder of living by the sea.

Eleswhere in the real world, the inquest into the death of Dodi and Princess Diana has begun in London and the jury have been shown new pictures and CCTV footage of the couple as they leave The Ritz in Paris on that last night of their lives. I'm not sure about any of the conspircy theories that have been banded about since that sad day, but I sincely hope this inquest will answer some of the questions still hanging in the air and put to rest all the stories, gossip and romours. Hopefully, when this inquest has been completely, we'll be able to say for syure what really happened and for all our sakes, especially Harry and William, we'll be able to let her rest in peace!

Fifty years ago a team of Russian scientists had worked long and hard on the first man made object to end up in space, it was ' Sputnik' and was the first of it's kind to take to the region of space. It's amazing how far we have come in thsoe fifty years. The technological advances are sumpremely impressive, we've come a long long way, sadly they still dont have a cure for the common cold, but hey we know who to send things up in to space!

I've had some fab comments over the past couple of weeks, so thanks for that guys, do keep them coming in, I always like to hear what you think or have to say about what I've written, although the previous long comment has no relation to anything I've put on the blog, but it must have taken ages to write! Anyway, got something to say> Say it and comment now!

House DVD of series 3 comes out over here toward the end of the month and I'm so blooming glad about that. Regular readers will know I'm a big House fan, HL is simply great and Jesse Spencer is a dream to watch. Oh that sweet Australian voice, I could paper my walks with that voice, not to mention drift away staring into those eyes....gosh I'm almost getting carried away into fantasy land!. Anyway, the point being.....actually I've forgotton the point of starting this take on House so anyway, the DVD comes out the end of the month and whoopee! Fab, fancy buying it for me> Oh and having mentioned Jesse so much, seems to me a good reason to put on a pic of him! Ahh well then there was a point to my babbling!

Right, here we go, that is the end of it for today! More soon! .

The spice of life!

2007-10-01T21:11:00.000+01:00

Wow, a whole four nights at work have passed by so very slowly,, two nights of boredom and two nights of semi boredom! It;s not been the busiest of weeks at work, which is good in one way in that we can relax a little, but in another way, it seems like each passing hour is 120 minutes long!

While I've either been working, or sleeping the world has carried on revolving, and democracy in Burma has been defeated yet again. The military crackdown in Burma is a reminder that street demonstrations and protests do not necessarily lead to success for the people. The military leaders in Burma have seen that the popular uprisings for a more democratic way of life have been squashed, well at least for the time being. Some say China was partly responsible, the crackdown was like something from a Chinese handbook on how to halt protests. About 4,000 monks have been rounded up in the past week as the military government has tried to stamp out pro-democracy protests, lead mainly by these compassionate people. The monks are being held at a disused race course and a technical college. Sources from a government-sponsored militia said they would soon be moved away from Rangoon. The monks have been disrobed and shackled, it's believed they will be moved away from the public spotlight, where they will either be forced into hard labour or executed. These demonstrations and protests have been the most serious challenge to the military leadership for more than two decades. And what have we done? Well the rest of the world has stood back and watched, occasionally our leaders, have uttered words akin to 'Oh that's bad, you shouldn't do that' but that was about as far as it went. Oh how easy is it to be complacent, how easy is it to do nothing?

Today has been a relaxing day for me, however not the same for other of my work colleagues, David had a bit of a 'Spice' Meltdown! Now, our David, is a bit of a 'Spice Girls' fan to say the least. I mean he once had to be dragged away by security one time when he refused to let go of Mel C! Anyhow, he got an email saying he was one of the lucky ones and was able to get tickets for the upcoming tour. He had internet problems and this and that transpired against him, but he's got some, he thinks. But, the world of the Spice doesn't stop turning there, oh no, after talking to David, I turned on my PC, checked my messages, I too got the Spice email and now, I'm the proud owner of 4 Spice Girls tickets for one of their shows at the O2 arena in London in January! They are £80 a pop and I don't even like the Spice Girls! Mind you, I'm kinda looking forward to going to the O2 arena, it's what was the Millennium Dome and I haven't been back there since the millennium, so it will be cool to see how much it's changed! So Spice Up Ya World! It was rater strange, in the media it was reported the reunion concerts sold out in 38 seconds, but they went on sale at 9am and I purchased mine just after 6pm! But hey, even if I don't go, I can always flog the tickets, apparently there are currently on sale on eBay for near on £900 each! Now that's one hell of a profit!

Have you every seen that TV prog called Made on MTV and other channels? It's all about these normal American kids who want to do something else, or become something else. There was this young lad, who was a little nerdy and wanted to become a B-boy and brakedance, the main reason was so he could get confidence and pull girls. Another in the series featured a girl who wanted to become a bike racer, so they worked hard on her cycling, the reason, she wanted to get a guy. So far all the Made's I've seen feature young high school students, who want to do something different in order to become more popular, turning their back on their true friends during the process, it's so shallow. Is this what are young people, our decision makers for the future become, completely selfish and shallow? Is there hope for a world, does every generation hate the one before and fear for the future of the next one? Ya never know, maybe they will make a Made, where someone wants to do something positive, for the benefit of others rather than themselves! Maybe, it could happen, but I doubt it!

So that so called singer Britney Spears has been ordered by the courts to hand over her two young children to her former husband Kevin Federline of K-Fed! He's been given custody of Sean Preston whose just two and one-year-old Jayden James, until further notice. Thank goodness for that, at least now Britney can completely self destruct without the children being harmed or put in mortal danger. I mean, if they were still living with her, she might start singing to them which is dangerous enough and that's surely reason to take the poor little buggers away!

52 two years ago, the Hollywood film star James Dean was killed in a road accident in California, USA. The 24-year-old actor was behind the wheel of his German-made Porsche Spider sports car when it was involved in a head-on collision with another car 30 miles east of Paso Robles on 30 September 1955. Dean, who was dead on arrival at hospital had suffered a broken neck along with other injuries had only recently filmed a safety film in which he urged drivers to slow down and not drive too fast and he'd only finished working on his third and last film Giant, the day before the accident. James, only made three films, East Of Eden, Rebel Without A Cause and Giant, the latter two not having been released at the time, yet within a year of his death nearly four million people had joined his fan club and his studio was receiving around 4,000 letters every day. Even now, his posters, photos and the very image of rebellious youth continues to make £100 million every year. Of course, like any cult hero, there have been conspiracy theories and rumours, one of which began shortly after his death that he was not actually killed in the car crash but was hideously deformed and is still alive in a Californian hospital. If that is the case, it has to be the best kept secret this world has ever known!

That's it for now!

Affimation - Kids today

2007-09-30T03:51:00.000+01:00

If I was to say to you, that, I believe the sun should never set upon anargument and if I were to add, I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem you'd probably think I'm a very thoughtful, introspective person.

Then if I told you I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned and that I believe the grass is no more greener on the other side and finished off by informing you I believe you don't know what you've got untilyou say goodbye, you'd probably be starting to wonder if I've suddenly becomebe a very contemplative intellectual, but you'd be wrong, all I'm doing is singing the lines of the Savage Garden song Affirmation!

This track still sounds as fresh to me as when I first heard it on the album a few years ago, its lyrics make still have the power to move and evoke true appreciation for the sentiment, created by Darren Hayes. Each time the line's swirl out into the ether I sagely smile and think to myself "how true that is" Such lines as I believe that beauty magazines promote low self-esteem are sosincere, yet we hardly ever think of that when we are flicking through the latest glossy and wish we looked like the slim sexy model. We aspire to the ideal yet are disappointed when we don't quite measure up. And how true is the emotion in 'I believe you can't appreciate real love until you've been burned? And, I believe you don't know what you've got until you say goodbye? I find it slightly ironic and rather sad that we, as humans, quite often don't really appreciate what we've got, until we don't have it anymore, be it possessions or people. If only we knew what we have when we have it, surely we'd take more care of it, treasure it and look after it with every inch of our fiber. I believe you can't control or choose your sexuality, sings our Darren Hayes breathlessly, I always used to say, and you fall in love with a person and not sexuality. And if you could choose sexuality, would any sane person choose one that's guaranteed to cause you to endure prejudice, discrimination, verbal and sometime physical abuse on an almost daily basis? It's also rather a pity that in those aforementioned glossy magazines they don't subscribe to the view that your most attractive features are your heart and soul? Life is unfair in that respect, why is it always harder to look passed the physical to the inner beauty than the other way round? How can it be that we can say so much without words and yet transversally we can talk for hours without saying anything at all?

Gosh, I think you can really appreciate what a slow night at work I've justs urvived! Anyway, here's the song:

Police in Hampshire are investigating allegations mobile phone footage of a "happy slapping" attack on a 14-year-old pupil was shown in his school classroom, by a teacher! Josh Wootton was attacked by eight youths near the Brune Park Community College in Gosport on 18th September. The boy's mother said the group filmed the attack and were allowed to play the video on a large screen in a lesson. The school said it was shown after the class finished by a teacher who was trying to identify those involved. But the first Josh or his family knew anything about it was when two girls in his class called round and told them. Kid's today, little darlings aint they?

Right oh fiolks, that's ya lot for now

Burma isnt working & posh isnt happy!

2007-09-28T09:13:00.000+01:00

I've just completed the first of my shift of four nights on and I don't feel too bad really, all things considered. It passed by rather uneventfully, no major excitements or problems to contend with, which was all rather pleasant, well as pleasant as work can be at least. Straight out of work this morning I popped down to the prom for a brief walk and take a couple of snaps, the sea was like a mill pond, hardly a ripple on it's shimmering surface and just a gentle breeze coming from the east.

The view from the prom!

Before I went to work last night, I caught the news and like pretty much everyone I'm appalled by the shocking scenes of military violence in Burma. According to the official media 9 people had been killed yesterday, although with no outside media present, the death toll was probably much higher. Burma's security forces have sealed off the five main monasteries in Rangoon, the capital and declared them no-go areas to prevent anti-government protests. Some monks have been detained and loudspeaker trucks have been criss-crossing the city, warning people not to protect anyone fleeing arrest. Soldiers have blocked major intersections with barbed wire barricades. Some Burmese sources say internet access has been cut off in Rangoon and is only partially available elsewhere. The protesters have been making use of the internet to get pictures and video of the protests and the bloody crackdown to international news outlets. I'm sure these protests will continue for sometime and it's any ones guess how the situation is going to end, one thing is for sure though, there will be more blood shed.

When you see pictures and hear the stories coming out of the country it makes you thankful for the democratic way of life we are so privileged to enjoy. Life could be so much different, as is evident in Burma and many other countries around the world who don't share as much freedom as we have.

You love your job. Your supervisors give you top ratings. Then, one day, a colleague finds out you're gay. A week later, you find your desk emptied into a box. You're fired. The reason? Your sexual orientation. Here's the worst part: firing you for being gay was 100% legal. It's an outrage. In 31 states, you can be fired solely because you're gay – and if you're transgender, that's 39 states. Current federal law protects workers against discrimination based on their race, gender, religion, national origin, and disability—but NOT based on sexual orientation.

This is a fact of life right now in America, what are you doing about it? If you're an American, write to your Congressman, ask them to support the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.

Staying in the US for a little bit, I hear gossip that Posh, Victoria Beckham is increasingly unhappy out there in LaLa land. Despite the untold riches and the fact that David hasn't had to work that much recently, mainly due to injury, she's still not a happy bunny. A source unearthed by a couple of US tabloid type magazines, claim that things are not going well for them in LA. Victoria has been particularly upset and sobbed to David that their move may have been a mistake, no doubt as he counted his £25m a year wages. She's disappointed that her TV docucrap didn't go down too well that side of the pond and feels their future is rather unsettled. Could this be a case of big fish in a little pond going to a big pond and finding out their just Minos? And wasn't she unhappy and unsettled when they moved over to Madrid? Maybe it's a case of you can travel around the world, but no matter how far you go, you can't get away from yourself! Poor old posh, gosh can you just reach out and cut my sincerity with a knife!

Lily Allen has confessed that leading designers don't want her borrowing their clothes. Not because she makes them look crap, oh no, it's because she keeps damaging the designer goods before she gives them back. She told Cosmo, "I've been banned from some fashion places because I'm so crap with things. Christian Louboutin won't lend me clothes because my dog chewed the shoes he lent me. And I got mud on a Julien Macdonald dress, so he wasn't happy!" When I was told of this story, my first thought was, who the fuck cares? Do I still think the same? You bet I sodding well do!

More soon!!

Am I turning into a grumpy old man?

2007-09-25T18:36:00.000+01:00

When I was a kid, I'd hear my father moan and groan about this and that, about the youth of the day, of the price of things in the shops, of the rudeness of shop staff, of...well pretty much everything really. I swore to myself back then, that no matter what I did in life, I would not be like him when I grew up, that I wouldn't moan and complain about anything and everything. I promised myself then, that I wouldn't be a grumpy old man when I was his age!

Funny how things change, when I was a teenager at school, I promised myself that I'd be a radio DJ, or that I'd travel round the world or that I'd be a published writer. Well, now, two years away from being 40, I can say that I've archived all three of those ambitions. Yes, I've produced and presented radio shows, I'm written features and fiction for various publications and I've travelled round the world twice. But, I've done something else as well, something I didn't want to happen has. I wasn't awear of it starting or creeping up on me, it's like it's only just slipped round the 'S' bend and bite me on the arse. I've become a grumpy old man! Or at least I'm on the way to becoming one, a thought that is both annoying and frightening!

I was walking down St James Street today and found myself grumbling to myself about a small group of teenagers, who were being loud and blocking the path, indeed they weren't doing anything other than being young, yet grumble, albeit to myself, I did.

The second realisation that I was on the theoretical road to attaining the grumpy old man title was the gripes, moans and complaints I had about a recent Tesco home delivery. I even drafted an email to the customer services department of the said supermarket to highlight all that was wrong with the service. Including the time of delivery, the squashed yogurt covers items, the fresh stuff that's already on it's use by date, the drivers swearing, indeed everything you could possible think of as the pitfalls of grocery home delivery were true and having to fork out £6 extra for it, really pissed me off. So, I spent an hour drafting a letter of complaint, well OK, and email of complaint if you want to be pedantic. Surely this is the act of a true grumpy old man, I'm sure you'll agree. So what can I do about it? How can I prevent myself from being like my father or is it pre-ordained, is it in the stars, is it just what's supposed to happen? Is that why I find myself watching the news on TV and thank whatever god there may or may not be that I don't have a child of my own, after all it's hard enough to watch the news let alone explain it to a child!

And whilst we're on the subject of being disgruntled, another thing that really has me angry at the moment is the fact that 5 weeks on and the Police still haven't caught the killer of Rhys Jones, the little 11 year old lad shot and killed on his way back from playing football in Liverpool. The killer, his family, his friends have not come forward and thus, out there right now, there is someone who knows who did it! Hopefully the police are a step closer to finding the perpetrator of this heartless crime tonight, there was a reconstruction along with CCTV footage of the young lad in black on the bike that they believe killed Rhys on Crimewatch tonight along , which may prick some consciouses! Rhys would have been 12 tomorrow, no age at all, his family don't have the luxury of seeing him grow up into a grumpy old man!

!Megastar Jennifer Lopez has fuelled rumours that she is pregnant after showing up at several public events in baggy smock dresses. The star wore a particularly loose fitting frock when she visited a school in her hometown of the Bronx, New York, with her husband salsa star Marc Anthony, (is it just me, or does he sound like a gay stripper from the 80's) David, my work mate thought she looked up the duff when she appeared on Parkinson last week. The couple are promoting their upcoming tour which kicks off on Friday. Jenny is rumoured to be about 12 weeks pregnant after two years of trying fertility treatments, although Marc's publicist has categorically denied the couple are expecting. I guess time will tell, about 6 months worth of time!!

Rejection is a bitch, except when it saves your life! Simon Cowell unwittingly saved a girl's life when he said her voice sounded "weird" on TV show X Factor - she got it checked and doctors found a potentially fatal lung disease.

Jacqui Gray received a withering put down by Cowell on the British talent show after she sang for him. He told her, "Something weird happens in your throat when you sing." Jacqui went to a specialist, who found the condition in time. The wanna be singer was told "if I had not caught it in time it could have killed me" She said "I am just so glad that Simon said something, and that made me do something about it." This has got to be the first case ever of a reality show saving someones life by saying they weren't good enough!

On the prom!

2007-09-24T18:41:00.000+01:00

The weather today has been fine, if a little blustery in Brighton, not the same in Cove in Hampshire, where they had a mini tornado! I went for a walk, but the old right leg is giving me some pain so I came home and watched trashy films - oh the pure joy of not having to do anything!

I cant claim to be a big fan of Jack Penate, but I'm really liking his latest song 'Second Minute or Hour'' I'm not sure if its the catchy tune, the free guitar strumming or the fact that the video is filmed down here in Brighton that is dragging my attentions. But whatever, it's well worth a blast passed your lug holes! If you watch the following video, you'll see little Jack running for the whole song, pretty much all the way along the raised part of the prom between Black Rock and the Terraces! I bet he was plum tuckered out by the time the last notes died away as it's a pretty long way! I particularly like the fact that it's devoid of all people, never the case when I'm walking along that way and also how clever was he, to get a shirt that matches the railings and streetlamps! Pure class, Jack Penate - I salute you!

Staying with music for a little while, but have you seen the video of that pint sized pop puppet 'Lil Chris' singing a former Jackson classic, 'We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time'? At first I thought it was clever, then the whole clothes being pulled off is soo over done that it makes me want to scream. But not only that, never before have I seen such over verbalisation of words being mimed in any kind of video as this little ankle biter seems to achieve in 3 minutes of audio torture! It's beyond cringe worthy, way beyond!

And does anyone know my Amy Wineglass doesn't appear in the 'Valerie' video along with Ronson? Is it because she was too drunk and lashed up?

It's freshers week at the moment and part of every years freshers week in Brighton is the pub crawl! This is when loads of strangers meet up, try and impress each other as they travel around 35 pubs and 4 clubs here in Brighton. Spending half their student grant in one night and then puking it all up at the end of the night! Which is one reason why I'm staying in tonight, mind you, with that many drunken students on the streets, I'd be sure to get a shag, but do I really need vomit on my shagpile? I think not!

Think it's all over in one night, then think again, tomorrow it's student night down the Zap, opps I mean Digital or whatever it's now called. Mind you, I hardly go there anymore anyway, haven't been for years. The Zap was a club from my youth and was always destined to stay there! But the biggest studenty thing will be the 2007 Freshers Ball in Thursday, OMG to use MSN speak. It's going to be wall to wall drunken, smelly, late teens doing all the things in one night that they will regret for the next term. Oh what joy, Jake get me a ticket!

Apparently, Canadian sex god, Haydan Christensen has once again denied the gossip that he is in fact a member of my gang, a raving poof. The rumors keep on popping up that he prefers men to the ladies in the bedroom department. Sometimes in a magazine, sometimes on websites, these stories just keep popping up. I'm not saying he is, or he isn't, just the fact that there is gossip about his sexuality is enough reason for me to put a photo of him up on the blog. I don't give a shit if he prefers front of back bottoms, he's just a fooking sexy man.

Wentworth Miller is another Hollywood star that's fighting off the questions about his sexuality. There are claims that the Prison Break star has been in a gay relationship for nearly a year with another actor called Luke McFarlane, this gossip keeps surfacing on gossip blog Perez Hilton. Hilton is always saying Wentworth is gay, Wentworth is always saying he's not and that he just hasn't met the right girl yet. I don't have a clue if he is or is not taking it up the chocolate starfish, but it;s a great excuse to put another piccie of him on here! God, all these hunky young men on one post of Sex & The Seafront, I might just cream my knickers!

Do you remember former Corrie star Adam Rickett? He dabbled in pop music for a while after he left the Street the first time. His single 'I breathe Again' did reasonably well, then he went back to Corrie for a little while. After that he wanted to get in to politics, for a while it looked like he would for the Conservatives, but nope that all failed. So then he popped on a passing 747 and headed over to New Zealand, he' now in another 'Street' this time it's a show called Shortland Street. But it seems he wants to get in to politics over there, that seems unlikely now, why? Well he's just been nicked for shoplifting! Apparently he forgot to pay for HP sauce and a jar of coffee. Turns out he's been under a lot of stress over a family problem and innocently forgot to pay for several items while he was doing a larger grocery shop in Auckland. He insists it was an accidental oversight but the red tape has to be followed. Stress can do funny things to you, so too can failure!!

X factor. Time flies!

2007-09-23T21:00:00.000+01:00

I can hardly believe it's been a week since I was last here updating the blog on this here interweb thingy! But it has, and well, here I am, it's been a long shift at work, with each hour passing seeming like two! The night's have dragged on and on and very little has happened. Oh sure, I could moan on and on about this, that and the other, but that would mostly be about office politics and mismanagement and would ultimately be boring as hell for you to have to read through! Plus of course, I know the folks from work will be casting an eye in this direction, so I'll just leave it there!

Therefore I started my set of four this week, I popped over to Mo's to have a bit of a nosh up with her and her relative, the lovely Sheena! Mo filled me with food and sent me on my way with more - she's such a good sport! Was nice to chat with her at her house over a nice warming lunch, I always feel so fat and full are Mo's home cooking!

I've had a nice relaxing day today, finished at 8am, had a huge glass of red wine and a doze on the sofa. Now, I know having red wine at 8.30am may make me sound like I have a bit of a drink problem, but you have to take into account that my 8.30am is your 8.30pm, and hey that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it!

It was quite sunny today, so this afternoon I took a little stroll along the prom and up through Kemptown, it was so nice to do a Sunday afternoon walk, like normal people do at weekends. The wind was blowing into my face along the prom and I gazed out over the channel and thought what a wonderful place to be! Here's today's pics, same shots as before, just on a different day and a different time, perfect indication of how different weather conditions change my view and change my world.

I saw in the Sunday Times that Brighton University is ranked at 30 in the top 100 uni's in the country, which is good news as the town is filling up with new students for the new term. Lot's of new blood, new lives starting out in the adult world, growing up and experiencing new things! Oh the joy of freshers week and all those new shags, opps I mean new friends to make!

I've just watched the repeat of yesterday's X Factor TV show, as regular readers will know I'm quite into this talent contest reality show this year. I love the idea or searching out and seeking new talent, it's refreshing and entertaining. However, I did loose some moisture from my eyes a couple of times during the show. One of those times was when a young 14 year old lad called Luke, cried during the bit when the judges gave their thoughts of his little audition, he looked so scared, so vulnerable, yet full of promise. Simon gave him a chance to come back the next day, and the boy did. He didn't quite do it all, his voice a little weak, but was it good enough to go through? Watch the following vid to find out!

But this whole thing has made me think and question whether lowering the age from 16 to 14 for contestants may not be such a good idea. I worry that at that age, they may not be mature enough to cope with the crushing rejection and long term pain that may cause. Yet, on the other hand, it's also good to see a young talented person shine through, oh the moral dilemma of it all!

Obviously the emotional harder, more cynical of you out there, will laugh at other peoples misery, wont you Jake? But not me, although I do feel that this year, they've edited it to make sure that the more emotional auditions are shown, rather than just highlighting the best and their worst as they have in years passed. Cunning ploy by Simon Cowell, to reach into our emotions to create affection and affiliations to certain contestants to ensure continued high viewing figures. Oh what, even I'm turning in to a little cynic! Ohh wooo is me, hush my mouth.

Oh what the hell is going on with Britney Spears right now? She is so loosing the plot, hardly a day goes by without a new headline crossing the pond about this former singing star and now complete waste of space! Friday she was charged with a hit and run in a car park and driving without a licence, this follows that awful 'come-back-' performance, if you can laughingly call it that, on the video music awards in just her undies. It seem there's more and more gossip surround her in the tabloids each day. Now, with anyone else, you'd think it's just stuff made up by some bored journo, but with her, you know it's true! I mean, we've seen her get married in Vegas, we've seen her get drunk, we've seen her in her undies, we've seen her crack, we've seen her shave her head, we've seen her do pretty much anything except sing well. What are we gonna see her do next? It's like a bad soap opera, indeed her life seems to be one long edition of trashy tabloid TV!

I've tried my hardest to avoid news of The Sex & The City movie, I want it to be a surprise when I watch it on the big screen. But, it's ather like a festering dried scab, you can't resist having a pick or. So I've turned the page, had a gander and it's all good news from New York. Aparently the word on the street is the girls are getting on great, Mr Big plays a medium sized part in the forthcoming flick, oh my excitement is mounting rapidly. SJP is looking so wonderful inthe pics that have been snapped on the street in New York, oh I so can't wait.

OK, here's a question for you, how do you find your way to a secret bunker to escape a nuclear explosion? Answers pretty simple if you live in the north, you simply follow the road signs!

That's it for now folks!

Happy Hookers!

2007-09-17T20:11:00.000+01:00

Yesterday was another sunny day in Brighton and I took the opportunity to cycle over to Portslade to my brother, Chris. The wind was in my face and blowing quite hard, which meant much more energy was expended in peddling the six or so miles out of town. I do love to cycle, especially along the front, on the cycle lanes, it's so nice to have fresh sea air filling your lungs and eyes being treated to what is one of the most wonderful aspects of this town!

The brother was fine, busy doing the ironing and after a wee rest and chat I was back on my way home, along the front again. This time the wind was at my back, therefore it was far more relaxing. Parked up in his huge American truck was Chris Eubank, Brighton resident and former boxer, enjoying looking out over the sea. It's amazing just who you can see down by the sea, just the other day my mate Jakey was walking along the front and almost bumped into Sid Owen, he was an actor once! And before that, another friend, Andrew, was in an Italian restaurant in Hove and a fellow diner was Chris Ellison, another actor! Brighton, home to many famous people!

After a long rest and some nosh I met up with the lovely Jakey and a couple of his pals for a couple of drinks down the road at Legends! I mist admit, for a little while I did feel like an older purveyor or boys, or king Pimp, I was the oldest at the table, by...well quite a long way actually. I was also in the company of not one, but two working boys, yes two of my drinking companions were escorts of the male variety! Now I know this sounds strange, but it was kinda like seeing myself as a younger person, chatting with these boys, they are doing now what I did back then when I was roughly the same age. They have the same hopes and dreams, desires, beliefs and ideals as I held dear at that tender age! Oh the shere beauty of youth, it's a wonderful thing, but my advise to them was enjoy it while you can, for youth is a mask, live it long and live it fast, never wait of hesitate to make your life extraordinary!

Another of my friends is doing something very extraordinary right at this very moment! On Saturday, he jetted off to far off climbs and in this case climbs is the most apt word ever! For Lee is off to trek the Himalayas for two weeks days or so, which is incredibly exciting and arduous! Lee, it's fair to say has not always enjoyed the best of health is trekking in the Indian Himalayas, not for fun, but for charity! He's doing all this in aid of his local hospice, St Oswalds, a place that offers specialist short breaks to children with progressive, life shortening conditions and provides specialist care for children, as well as support and advice for parents, within a relaxed, home-from-home environment. Lee has already completed two training treks up Snowdon as well as the Great North Run, also in aid of St Oswalds, so I wish him the very best of luck, well done Lee. If you'd like to help Lee along the way, then please visit. http://www.justgiving.com/leetrekshimalayas

While I've been in Brighton, David from work has been seeing Erasure up in some Northern Town, Apparently it was really jolly good, I'd have liked to have gone and seen Andy and Vince, as they were a good part of my youth, indeed you could say they were part of the soundtrack of my life in the 80's, but I suppose that would be a little melodramatic. I'm sure it was a good gig, and I'll no doubt have him tell me all about it when we're next at work.

Virgin's no longer Virgin! Shock news to some, but the Virgin boss Richard Branson has gone and sold the Virgin Megastores! It's hard to believe that, after some 30 years Richard will no longer be in control of the megastores that have shaped the way we used to purchase music. Ok, so things are a little different now, music is being purchased more and more in the net and downloaded straight to iPods and the like, so the need for music superstores is diminishing greatly. But, I really hope the new owners keep the Virgin Megastores name, it would be sad to see that go the same way as the Virgin record label.

I hear Kylie's got a new album coming out in November, I'm so looking forward to it, I'm sure it will be great, after all it is our Kylie! David and I were talking the other night at work, bit it's looking like Miss M has had a little work done, well OK, maybe not work exactly, just perhaps some botox, but maybe a little too much! Kylie my darling, no more please! You don't need it one jot!

Dozy sod, I saw this little bit of news when I logged on the old interweb thingy, I was pretty amazed, how one man could be so silly. This Turkish guy broke into a bank, but he didn't end up stealing anything, why you may well ask. So I'll tell you why, because the dozy sod fell asleep and was found by the cleaner in the morning!

Oh and if you're reading this after a mammoth internet session, just be warned, that a man in China dropped down dead after playing an internet game for 3 days solid! So just be a little careful out there, the internet could kill!

Right just before, here's today's pictures from the lovely Brighton coast. I've tried to take them at the same time and in the same position, just to highlight the differences the changing light has on the view.

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A bear movie star!

2007-09-15T17:44:00.000+01:00

Hey, it's the first of my four off tonight, thank fuck for that, it's been a long hard shift at work, well, OK, not that hard but it;s been pretty long! 48 hours of work long to be accurate and correct! But hey, freedom for four now, which is one of the reasons why I do the job I do, to have some quality time off.

I am so hacked off with all the new stories hitting the media about the McCann's and all the hullabaloo surround missing Maddie. There's just so much of it now, it seem like the press and the public have turned against them, every issue of the daily papers have some new revelation about the case. So many different theory's about the poor 4 year old's disappearance, or questions the police want to ask, or secret evidence, hair in the boot of the car and all sorts, buried in the church, accidental killed with a drug overdose and so on and on. Whatever the truth is, I'm sure we'll find out eventually and I'm equally positive that those awful parents have something to do with it all. Enough already!!

I don't know if you've seen the news about the Northern Rock bank, well actually, you can't really have escaped it, it's been the lead story in all the papers and on all the telly channels. Thousands and thousands of nervous customers have queued outside branches for hours, yesterday and today to try and withdraw their savings after the bank announced it had got emergency funds from The Bank Of England.

Queues snaked round the block at most branches of Britain's fifth-biggest mortgage provider for a second day after customers were reported to have withdrawn one billion pounds on Friday. Thousands more jammed the bank's phone lines and Web site to try to get their hands on their money, raising fears that a "run on the bank" could exacerbate problems. Despite assurances that their cash was safe, some customers said they had lost confidence in Northern Rock after it went to Britain's central bank for emergency funds. It's so crazy, the government has said Norther Rock is solvent and do you think the Bank Of England wouldn't have checked that bank out before lending it a billion or so? Nope, Northern Rock has 23 billion quid on deposit and over 100 billion in assets, yet Joe public don't seem to understand that! They've seen people waiting to get their money out, so they've joined the line, stirred up by scaremongering media. Indeed on on broadcast on BBC News 24 they interviewed one of the customers in the que, asked why he was down there, he obviously said to take his savings out, but asked why he said "I dunno, cuz everyone else is" That just about sums up the mass hysteria that has swept the nation, the TV pictures are very reminiscent of a scene from Mary Poppins!

I so glad I don't live in Caracas, it seems that over there they have trouble telling the living from the dead! Yep this guy, who was declared dead after an accident on the motorway and was taken to the morgue. Medical examiners began an autopsy only to realize something was amiss when he started bleeding. They quickly sought to stitch up the incision on his face. "I woke up because the pain was unbearable," the 33 year old said, he was still alive!

I was going to go to Shoreham Air Show today, but, I dozed off on the sofa when I got in from work and didn't get to go. I'm kinda glad that sleepiness got the better of me. I'd have been shocked and saddened by the nose dive and crash of a World War II aircraft during the show. The historic aircraft had just taken part in a mock dogfight with other WW2 flying machines, the pilot died instantly. The air show carried on 20 mins later and two Spitfires carried out a flypast in the "man missing in action" formation. I love air shows, but as the years advance, today is a classic example of how dangerous it is to fly these wonderful, yet increasingly aged aircraft.

The biggest bowl of porridge ever made has been created in Edinburgh, breaking the world record. Weighing 81.2kg, the huge breakfast was expected to fill up to 2,000 bowls at the Edinburgh Farmers' Market. The feat broke the existing world record, which was set at 66.26 kg at a farmers' market event in Warwickshire in January. The only question I can think of, is, why?

Ever had a Marmalade sandwich? Ever worn a a blue dufflecoat or black floppy hat? Well the star of the a new film has done all three! Plus he comes from deepest, darkest Peru! Yes it's none other than Paddington whose gonna be the next big movie star! Who'd have thought it, years ago when I was just a sprog watching telly after school that a little animation about a talking bear with a passion for marmalade sarnies would be made into a multi-million dollar movie, but yes, it's going to happen apparently and I for one can hardly wait. Oh another trip down that lane they call memory!

I had a couple of letters today, both post marked 10th September, one with a first class stamp and the other had a second class stamp affixed to it, yet both plonked down on my mat this morning. I guess, that indicates that it doesn't matter which stamp you place on a letter, it still takes the same amount of time to reach it's destination. Strange really, things don't seemed to have improved very much since first and second class post was first introduced back in on this very day in 1968. I bet that somewhere, there is still someone waiting for a letter that was posted those 39 years ago!

Right, there ya go, that's ya lot for today, but before I leave you with a couple of pics taken this morning, at 8.30, well I live by the sea, so why not share my good fortune with you!

A book store coffee

2007-09-11T17:13:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I went for a little wander up to the other side of town, well OK, I crossed the Stein, which is something us Kepmtowner's don't tend to do all that often! Some say it's because Kemptwon area of Brighton is like it's only little village within the city, but I rather think it's because we're lazy! Anyway I popped up to Borders the book store on the edge of Churchill Square and met up with David. We had a Starbucks, yes there is one in Boarders, a small one, and it was rather nice, we chewed the fat and nattered away. It was almost like a setting the world to rights over a coffee. We both told how sick to death we are of hearing about those awful McCanns and how we are some what vindicated in our early views that they had something to do with their missing daughter!

We talked about music and the MTV video awards and Britney's performance, or should I say lack if it, well when I say we talked, I do of course mean we bitched! But hey, we are a couple of gay guys, sitting in a Starbucks inside a book store in the camp town of Brighton, what did you expect we'd be doing!

Anyway, after a while and I purchased two new tomes from Josie Lloyd & Emlyn Rees, 'The Three Day Rule' and 'The Seven Year Itch' which I've been promising myself to buy for ages, just never getting round to it, well you know what I'm like! There's always tomorrow, which in fact is technically true, however, with the rapid approach of a milestone age, may not be true for much longer! God, I need a holiday! Anyway, I'll fill you in on the books at a later date, when I've read them of course, because until then, all I can really tell you is they have nice covered and whatever blurb the publishers have put on the back!

So after the stores David and I took a little stroll along the front and watched the world go by for a wee while. I can hardly believe it, but it's the only time that David and I have been out, on days off without having a drop or ten of alcohol! Strange, but true, but then again, poor David is getting over some flu like symptoms, so maybe it's just as well!

I came home and watched something on telly, which I have no idea what it was, it just floated passed my eyes in a blur of pixelated dots! I came on the computer and logged in and had a long chat with an old friend on MSN. It's so nice, sometimes to have an MSN chat, you can say so much more than you can in texts and do it faster. It's like being on the phone, but without having to worry about a little bit of silence and you can do other things at the same time. Always a bonus, but I basically spent a large part of the day surfing, chatting and doing very little. However, I did have a look at the first re-written chapter of my book that I'm struggling to write. I've had it on the back burner for a while, hoping the a rested and fresh set of eyes and mind power will enable me to get back in the swing of writing, after all that is the one thing in life that I love and hasn't let me down! Well at least not yet!

This morning I woke with the sun on my face, burning through the open window and the breeze gently flapping the curtains. So I jumped out of bed and took a walk along Upper St James Street and all the way towards the marina end. Then I crossed down and walked back along the prom. It's so nice when the weather is kind, I never tire of looking at the sea, something of a bonus living in Brighton. I'm thinking of doing an special set of photos, taking one a day of the say spot, so you too can see the weather change, the differences in the light and how it changes the whole view. Oh god, am I going into an arty stage again!

It's 9-11, as the Americans say, and it would be a little remiss of me, not to give a little mention to all the victims of the terrorist acts in New York six years ago. It's hard to believe it has been six years since that awful day of terror, but yes, six years have come and gone and what's changed?

Victory for England! European Union commissioners have ruled that Britain can carry on using imperial measurements such as pints, pounds and miles. Europe's Industry Commissioner Gunter Verheugenas said: "There is not now and never will be any requirement to drop imperial measurements." The decision will not affect current law on metric measurements, but means imperial equivalents can be used too. It follows years of wrangling between London and Brussels over metrication. Most importantly for me, it means the great British Pint is saved! The commission has kept extending the deadline for the UK to complete the full transition to the metric system, with the most recent deadline being 2010. This would have meant setting a deadline for ending the traditional delivery of pints of milk and the sale of pints of beer in the UK's pubs, but now we can keep our pint! Yippeee!!!

There is apparently a new series of Hell's Kitchen been going on which has pretty much escaped me, largely because motor-potty-mouth Gordon Ramsey is not the lead chef, Marco Pierre White is, whose about as charming and as French as my little tow. Anyway, there's been a bunch of has been's and x list celebs in the kitchen trying to impress a room full of free loaders! The only reason I'm commenting about it, that today it was on the news because ex-bankrupt and ex-alchy Jim Davidson has been sacked from it because of gay remarks! Yep, comedian (are you sure!) Jim Davidson has left ITV1's Hell's Kitchen after making, what the ITV called "unacceptable remarks" after he called gay people 'Shirt-lifters'. This upset fellow contestant Brian Dowling and some viewers of the show. An ITV spokeswoman said producers had asked him to leave the show. "ITV does not condone comments which could cause offence," she continued. Jim Davidson - offensive, well there's a surprise! Reach out and cut my sarcasm with a knife!

Oh, do you remember, a little while ago I told you that I posted off a letter to Stephen Fry, that king of the business they call show? Well, I did and yesterday, the postie plonked a letter on my mat from the very man. I hadn't really expected a reply, it wasn't a fan letter, more a thank-you for the entertainment kind of thing. But, respond he did, "Your charming and gratifying letter cheered me enormously" he wrote, proving beyond doubt, if ever there was any, that he is a thoroughly decent chap!

Stop Police!

2007-09-09T18:29:00.000+01:00

Friday was a lazy day for me with very little of anything going on, I just need to chill for a while and unwind. Jake came round in the evening and we had a Chinese take out and a bottle of wine, well come on, it's me, what do you expect! Sometimes I think I have a drink problem, other times I don't, I mean sometimes I drink, I fall over - no problem!

Saturday dawned early, at least by my standards, the sun was bright and the sky a lovely shade of powder blue that gave me a morning spurt of energy and a will to do something with my day. So I busied myself with those domestic chores, that one usually saves up for days off, you know the washing, the dusting, the hoovering and all that. I whizzed round like a professional domestic engineer (cleaner!) and was all done by 10am. I wanted to go for a ride on the bike then, after all it's been a long while since I was in the saddle, but I had to wait for my Tesco food delivery. Two hours later he turned up with my goodies, after unpacking, I settle down to a coffee when Angus sent me a text asking if I was working that night. I replied in the negative and then he offered me that chance to see The Police playing at Twickenham Stadium, naturally I jumped at the chance!

We met at four at Brighton station and started out train trip to Twickers! It was fab to natter with our Angus as our anticipation ascended. I've never been to Twickenham before and I must say I was rather impressed with the rather huge stadium, the home of English rugby, it's big and was very well organised. We mingled with the gathering throng, complained at the price of official merchandise, sank a pint and took our seats in the North Stand, block 25, row 28. I'm really glad that Angus had chosen tickets in one of the stands and on one of the levels as the on pitch seating would have been a tad difficult to even see where the stage was! Sting's son was on first, but to be honest, we were outside having a pint, so comment about it I can not. Then there was a little break before Maximo Park took the limelight on the stage, now I can't claim to be a fan and indeed if you'd have asked me what they've done, I'd be hard pushed to name a single track of theirs, yet my foot was tapping and I quite enjoyed them. OK, so we were at the back and I'd have loved to have been closer, but we did benefit from being central and thus great sound quality.

Angus wasn't too chuffed with the musical abilities to entertain of Maximo, so we piddled about with sending texts and taking photos and being, well kinda silly really! I blame Angus, cuz you'd never get me being silly now would you? Oh hulloo James, nice pic from New York! Anyway after a comfort stop and a drag (for me) me were back in our seats, and after around ten waves of the Mexican variety the lights dimmed and wee got ready for the main event. Oh, before I go on about Sting and the boys, I just want to add that this is the first time I've been involved in a Mexican wave, that is on three different balconies with nearly fifty-five thousand people taking part!

The stadium lights dimmed, the crowd had a collective intake of breath, the stage spots shone brilliantly, the music started and the vocal stylings of Sting filled the air of Twickenham. I was surprised at how much I'd missed the sound of The Police, who have not had a track out for years, but hearing them play live, was a trip into audio wonderment. Having earlier said the sound quality was good for Maximo, on a couple of tracks from the headliners, the same can not be said, it did shake a bit, maybe it has something to do where we were sitting, so far back that it took half a second to reach us. However that gripe aside it was a really good gig and their classic hits shone through and really raised the roof. Roxanne was powerful, Do Do Do Da Da Da was played to the crowd with the obligatory audience participation. To say the hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention would be a massively over used cliche, yet during Every Breath You Take and Walking On The Moon it was true. Sting was no bigger than my thumb nail, but thanks to the two stage flanking video screens we could enjoy seeing him perform and for a guy his age, he's looking pretty good and sure puts a lot into what is, to be honest, just another day at work for him! The Police live at Twickenham Stadium was a darn fine gig, very enjoyable, entertaining and a thrill. Getting out was a bit of a mare, but then again, with 55,000 people all heading out, it was never going to be fast, it seemed like a different day when we finally got back to the relative safety and normality of Brighton station at 1.14am.

This morning I rose with Every Breath tripping the light fantastic in my cranial cavern, I watched a bit of news - more on that in a mo, and then rode over to Portslade to see my brother, who wasn't there, so I rode back. Yes, indeed I got back in the saddle and yes, my legs are aching like fuck right now, well actually, just the right leg, the one with metal and screws on the inside, is giving me a throbbing pain, but hey, thems the breaks!

So breaking news all day was that following Gerry and Kate McCann's interviews by the Police in Portugal and being named as suspects, they've headed home, back to the UK. When little Maddie first went missing, Gerry and Kate said they would not leave Portugal until their daughter was with them, yet now they are official suspects, they've hightailed their sorry arses outta town! After the first week the toddler being missing, I've thought that there was something not quite right with those two. Something was amiss, the whole way they've carried themselves, everything about them has just the odour of insincerity about it. I'm not saying they are guilty of murdering the little Maddie, but they are somehow implicated in her disappearance. I guess we will have to wait and see what happens next, but I'm willing to bet good money that there are more police interviews to come for the McCanns and maybe even some charges! Bout time too if you ask me!

That's it for now! More soon!

Oi hands off my DNA, none shall sleep!

2007-09-06T10:00:00.000+01:00

I've just done night 3 of this set of 4 and it's been a pretty busy old time, I know I complain about work, but sometimes I actually do enjoy it, this shift has been one of those times. I think I prefer it busy, but just don't tell the boss! One of the things about working a 12 hour night shift is that it leaves little time when you're not at work to do anything other than sleep during the day, it also means you spend so many waking hours with work colleagues than most normal job, plus there are only a few of you doing the graveyard shift, so you quickly get to know the ins and outs of each other - oh the secrets I could tell!

There has been a little bit of an uproar in England over the last day or so after a senior judge called for all UK residents and visitors to be required to provide a DNA sample to help police solve crimes. Lord Justice Sedley said this would make the present database in England and Wales fairer and less biased, the database currently holds details of four million people's DNA. Each month, some 30,000 more samples from suspects or DNA recovered from crime scenes are added to the database, making it the largest in the world.

It includes some 24,000 samples from young people aged between 10 and 17, who were arrested but never convicted! This silly judge said "Everybody, guilty or innocent, should expect their DNA to be on file for the absolutely rigorously restricted purpose of crime detection and prevention"

The Human Genetics Commission said creating such a huge database would be too expensive and prone to mistakes. Liberty, the civil rights group claim the proposal as "chilling" and "ripe for abuse". I quite agree, it's a step way to far, a massive infringement on my own personal civil liberties. Just think of what could happen if such details and the samples got into the wrong hands, to be honest it doesn't bear thinking about. It's just too much like 'Big Brother' looking over us and collecting way way to much information on us, our lives, our being and our movements.

The parents of murdered 11-year-old Rhys Jones have asked well-wishers to wear bright clothes or football strips for their son's funeral on Thursday. The schoolboy, a keen fan of his local side Everton, will be buried after a service at Liverpool's Anglican cathedral.

He died after being shot in the neck in a pub car park in the Croxteth area of the city on his way home from playing football on 22nd August. Another young, innocent victim of horrendous street crime that seems to be ever present here in England. So far 17 people have been arrested over his murder, but no charges have been brought. Somewhere, someone knows who did this crime and is saying nothing, someone holds the clue that could capture the killer, yet they are staying silent, I wont say what I think of that as I don't want to offend you with my colourful and expletive language, I not a fan of capital punishment, it's not something I believe in, however in this case I sure could make an exception.

The musical world has suffered a huge loss in the early hours of this morning when that giant of opera Pavarotti passed away at the ripe age of 71. This rather ermm rotund, bearded tenor, who was regarded by many as the greatest tenor of his generation, came to to fame when he made a stand-in appearance at London's Covent Garden way back in 1963. Soon this rather large guy with an amazing and voluminous voice had the critics and fans gushing.

Perhaps his biggest gift to the music world was when he teamed up with Spanish stars Placido Domingo and Jose Carreras at the 1990 soccer World Cup in Italy and introduced operatic classics to an estimated 800 million people in TV coverage around the globe, and 1 little person at home in West Green in Crawley!

Sales of opera albums shot up after the gala concert in Rome's Baths of Caracalla and strains of Puccini's "Nessun Dorma" became as much a feature of soccer fever as the usual more raucous stadium chants and a favorite of countless millions of people the world over.

New iPods!! Fresh after you've splashed ya cash on a new iPod or iPhone if you're in the states, along they come with a new bit of high tech kit! Apple Inc. (I love the Inc part of US companies, much nice the the Ltd we have!) unveiled new iPods on Wednesday including a model with an iPhone-style touch screen and wireless Internet connectivity! Hopefully stopping rivals catch-up plans stone dead for a while!

Not only touch screens but also Apple introduced higher capacity versions of the original hard-drive iPod and added video and games to it's iPod nano, which stores songs and photos on flash memory chips. The iPhone-style iPod Touch will cost $299 thats £148 for a version with 8 gigabytes of storage and $399 for 16 GB. Those new nanos will set you back a cool $149 for 4GB and $199 for 8GB, which is not bad at all, I think. New versions of the hard-drive iPod will retail for $249 for 80GB and $349 for 160GB, which is a little bit on the steep side, but then again it is Apple so therefore it is more expensive than other makers. To a large extent you're paying for the name and the innovation, but also the style, after all there are pure Apple queens out there. You know the kinda chap, just has to have the latest 'i' whatever, regardless of cost. The kind of chap that will fork out a few hundred pounds on a iBook, iPod, iMac just because it's an Apple. The kinda person that would even buy an iVibrator if such a thing was available!

I could hardly believe it when I heard the news about billionaire Russian owner of Chelsea football club, Roman Abramovich, has ordered another private aircraft! It's not that he's ordered another one, but the type of aircraft that had my ghast so flabbered! He's only gone and put in an order for one of those new super double decker Airbus A380, the world's biggest airliner! A French newspaper released the news that Abramovich was the mystery buyer behind an order for an A380 VIP, which was revealed by Airbus at the Paris Air Show in June.

The double decker A380, which enters service later this year, is capable of carrying 840 passengers. It's first commercial flight will be from Singapore to Sydney by Singapore Airlines, yet you can't buy tickets in the normal way for unique flight. Nope, to get your mitts on a ticket you'll have to keep an eye on eBay, where the tickets will be auctioned off and all the profits going to charity. Big business does good for once, I've already registered online for my shot at snapping up a ticket, but I'm sure it's going to be well out of my price range! See http://www.a380.singaporeair.com/ for more details.

Time to sleep now, be good till the next time!

Scene Queen - moi?

2007-09-03T07:16:00.000+01:00

I'm not at all sure why I have a headache this morning, I only had a couple last night! After a lazy day of doing very little I met up with David from work for a drinkie or two. Started in the Star, not one of my usual haunts, but David wanted to check out something or other going on there, so we had one standing in the doorway. Then headed to Charles Street. David was on top form, he hasn't been in that venue for five long years h said and was a little disappointed with the place. I'm not surprised, it has seen better days, the place looks rather grubby messy, tired and well down at heal. But, hey it's got an outside area, which for a smoker is a boon, that is if you can put up with standing in piles of fag ends that litter the floor. Then we headed up to Amsterdam, which is much nicer and a whole lot cleaner. We sat inside and then sat outside on the terrace, under the heat lamps, listening to the sound of Sunday Sundae blasting from Audio next door, it was almost Brighton's version of Thelma and Louise doing the south of France! A right old giggle and then finally we had a nightcap at Legends. It was good to paint the town a nice shade of pink and had a right old giggle.

Saturday night, I was out with Jake and a couple of his buddies from uni, yes, I was the oldest by about 15 years! Something about the oldest swinger in town was mentioned, and indeed Jake said that I was in danger of becoming a scene queen! The cheek of the lad, I'm not a queen and hardly ever out on the scene, but that's the young of today for you. We headed up to Kepmtown village for a drink in a bar, I can't remember the name, but it was a nice little place, then I was marched down to the front where beverages were taken in Amsterdam again, and then back to Legends. It wasn't a massive drinking session, just a little troll to make sure I'm not missing out on scene life! Plus it's been rather nice, having the whole weekend off, which is something I don't often have and plus I was awake, which makes a change!

Living in such a vibrant and accepting town as Brighton it's sometimes very hard to see and believe that not all places are as tolerant as my hometown. Sometimes it's other news from around the world that just thunders home how lucky we are in the town and indeed this country, that our rights's, lives and well being is protected by law. For example, here's just a tiny round up of homophobia and discrimination from around the world:- The President of Samoa banned all gay activity at the recent South Pacific games, straight activity was encouraged. There are 58 laws that need changing for Aussie gay and lesbians to have equality, so far about 25,000 people down under have petitioned John Howard, the PM, in support of those changes. In Texas, a church offered to host a funeral for Cecil Sinclair a navy veteran, but cancelled it at short notice when they saw a photograph of the deceased with his arm around his boyfriend. Staying with the States, the Virginia State School Board has granted access to children as young as 5 years old to PFOX. PFOX is non-profit organization providing outreach, education, and public awareness in support of the ex-gay community and families touched by homosexuality. They believe that 'ex-gays' make the personal decision to leave homosexuality through gender affirming programs, including secular therapy and/or faith based ministries, otherwise known as social pressure and brain washing! They fight to stop equality, they target schools with any kind of gay group, gay activities, gay association or a even school that simply has an open and understanding policy on homosexuality. Now it appears that they've been given the right to leaflet children as young as 5 in Virginia! A Brazilian judge insists that gay players don't belong in soccer and should not be accepted. Two French tourists were arrested in from of the Coliseum in Rome, their crime was, they were kissing! That's just a tiny little itty bit of homophobic news from around the world! I'm so glad I live in a country where we have same sex civil partnerships, where we have an equal age of consent, where it's illegal to discriminate against us because or our sexuality. There are many things wrong with this country, but at least this is one area where we've got it right!

A bit of love now, Nearly 7000 couples smooched late on Saturday in the Bosnian town of Tuzla in a bid to break the world simultaneous kissing record. the crowd kissed for at least ten seconds at 11pm local time with fireworks, a giant TV screen, confetti and heart-shaped red balloons as the backdrop, and yes, they broke the world record!

I hear Darren Hayes, that kooky singer from Savage Garden is playing Brighton Dome this 28th day of September, I'd like to see him, his voice is so sweet, just think of Savage Garden's wondrous hits 'Affirmation' and 'Truly, Madly, Deeply' and it evokes feelings of pleasure. Sadly I'm whoring that night, so I might have to try and pull some strings and get the night, or at least part of the night off. Mika is also playing Brighton in the not too distant future, might have to bag myself a ticket for that gig as well. Oh and also coming out, is the DVD of one of the best gay films ever to come out of Britain in the 80's, the Fruit Machine! It's a wonderful film, part of it set in good old Brighton and stars Robbie Coltrane - in drag!

Anyway, enough rantings from me for now, more soon no doubt, although it's back to work tonight and I'm not looking forward to that, but hey, it pays the bills!

Where is the love?

2007-09-01T21:02:00.000+01:00

Phew, last night Big Brother 8 came to an end with more a whimper than a bang, it has been the least watched and least talked about Big Brother series of all time, sparking doubt into the future of the show. Edemol have already scrapped plans to do another celeb version of the show, so who knows what the future holds for the nromal plebs version of the prog. I'm sure we've not seen the last of BB, but in it's present format, I think it's had it's day! I don't even know whose won!

Tell you what tho, I have just been watching the X Factor, it's so funny, I love talent searching, fresh raw talent coming through from the masses. The X Factor always shows the best and the worst of the folks auditioning for a better life, so are surprisingly bad, that it's so hard to believe they're doing it for real. That some how they actually think they can sing, that they have a nice voice, that they have a chance. Other's surprise you with a voice that can only be described as heaven sent.

I'm not sure what's happened this season, but Simon Cowell, seems to be just a little tiny bit more, well nice! He's less cutting and rude as he used to be, perhaps he's mellowing with age, or myabe they've edited out his really nasty comments. After all it is his show, his idea, his production company make it and his record company that give the winner the record contract! I know he's a hit with the ladies, he's quite charming too when he's not on the telly, accroding to Angus, who lives next door to his mum. (Hi Angus!) One person that thinks Mr Cowell is top stuff is the ladie that travelled nearly 6,000 miles so that she could audition and meet her idol Simon Cowell. 31 year-old Toshiko turned up to the Birmingham auditions and sang her own version of 'My Way' all the way from Japan, she told Simon "I like you very much Simon, I came here just to meet you, you are very big in Tokyo." And, he was incredibly nice to her, although she didn't go through!

I was watching just a little while ago and had tears in my eyes when some of the better ones managed to get a yes from the judges and through to the the next round. How come just lately I always cry at happy times?

One of the one to look out for that went through last week was the rather lovely looking Private Ryan, a 22 year old squaddie whose already done two tours of Iraq and watched two of his mates die infront of him. He was sweet, humble and has a really nice voice. He could have the X Factor, I'm sure he'll go far in the show, he might not be the winner, but he'll do well.

Told ya he was a bit of a hottie!

Theif with a concience! I loved this when I saw it on the net!

A man's home in New Zealand was visited twice in one day by the same burglar. First the thief stole a laptop computer, a camera, and Graeme Glass's wallet with an American Express credit card in it. The burglar went back to the house in Queenstown later and returned the goods, along with a new basketball and two pairs of gloves bought with the stolen credit card. Strange but true!

That's your lot, it's Saturday night and there is a pint with my name on it waiting for me in the bar. Soo till next time be good and take care of your good selfs!.

Diana, film & sagger against the law?

2007-08-31T18:19:00.000+01:00

Ok, it's been a few days since I was last here with a lil update, so let me just get on and do one, I've had a good long shift at work. It's been rather ok actually, we've amanged to have a bit of a giggle really. You know funny little things, that outside the context of the situation would seem stupid and silly, but in context, they cause much laughter and merriment. It's basically been one of those fun weeks, well if work can ever be FUN.

There's a guy that I see at work very briefly and I seem to have developed a little soft spot for him, a fact that has not gone unnoticed by my cohorts. I try to be as cool as King Cool of the cool people each time he comes down, but I end up being the most un-cool person on the floor, which inself has cause much of the laughter in the office! Oh well, such is life, well my life anyway.

Last night was the first night off and I managed to have a completely relaxing day, I basically dozed on the sofa for a little while and then watched trashy TV for most of the morning. Well actually, the morning turned ionto the afternoon and I was still watching telly, a right lazy sod I was, but you know there are some days you just need to chill and have a lil bit of 'Me' time!

Jake poped round and we watched a rather deep Spanish film called 'El Bola' that I got from 'Love Film' it's a haunting Spanish drama that tells the story of Pablo or Pellet (played wonderfully by Juan Jose Ballesta), a tough, hostile, abused 12-year-old whose life begins to open up when he's befriended by the new kid in school, and sees in his loving family an alternative to the cruelty he's become accustomed to. Jake and I have a little passion for foriegn language films, I'm not sure if it's the fact that you really have to concentrate a little harder when you watch them, or if it's usually the darkness or gritty realism, or what they makes me like them more. El Bola was actually a really good movie and hauntingly sad. While the end credits where rolling up the screen, tears were rolling down my very own screen. Jake gave me a hug and told me I was just beeing an over emmotional softie, but hey I cant help it, I always cry at sad movies and weddings.

I like Love Film, it's one of these online DVD rental stroes, you pay a monthly subscription and then you get to watch DVD's, they send them to you, you watch them, send them back, they send you another. There's over 60,000 DVD to see, which is a rather lot of telly watching if you ask me. Plus, there are loads of films on there that I guess you wouldn't find in your local 'Blockbuster' or whatever. Another thing I really like, is the simple fact that I don't prioritise the order they send me DVD's, so each time one of there little envelops arrive, I have no idea what's inside! OK, yes I know it's a DVD inside, but I don't have a clue what the film is going to be, it's like a little surprise, a little trip in the unknown, it could be good, it could be great or it could be a complete waste of time! What's that, simple things please simple minds? with that, argue, I can not!

Here's a little treat for you, click on the LoveFilm logo below and when you sign up you'll get one whole month free!

It's been 10 yeas since Diana, The Princess Of Wales, died in that car crash in Paris and in London Princes William and Harry held a special service at Guards Chapel. Harry gave a moving speech about his mother, how she ws a fun loving person, ful of many gifts who made them and millions of other people very happy. She was an icon of our time, a true global celebrity, even 10 years since her passing, she is still remembered with fondness, love and respect. Missed? Of course she is missed, not only by her two son's but also but the countless others whose hearts she touched with her charitible work, he kindness, her smile, her warmth.

Apparently sagging is to become illegal in the US, well actually not all over the states, just in Atlanta. But where one state makes a stand, the others usually follow.

But what's sagging, well, it's more something that happens over that side of the pond, we do have it here in England, but not to such an extent, perhaps our climate has something to do with that, or it could be the price of clothes that prevent Sagging being a wide spread problem.

OK, so sagging is the wearing of baggy trousers, usually jeans, that hang way below the belt and expose what the wearer has on underneath could soon be banned in the southern US city of Atlanta, a city council spokesman said last Friday. "Many youngsters are walking around with their pants (trousers to us Brits!) way, way below their waists, and you can see everything. Some people call it a fad or a fashion statement but it is simple indecency," Dexter Chambers, the communications director at Atlanta City Council, told the media. "A proposal to change the city code in terms of indecency will go before the public safety legal administrative committee on Tuesday for discussion," he said. This pic left is Joe from Chicago, with a little sag!

Apparently there have been many complaints to various council men, teachers and the like about this fad of wearing low hanging/saggy pants which exposes ones underwear is becoming a major concern for communities, cities and states around the country! The officials are trying to add a clause to the code on public morals, this already bans real or simulated sexual intercourse, indecent exposure, or the touching, caressing or fondling of genitals or women's breasts in public. So now they are trying to make "the indecent exposure of undergarments" unlawful.

But, Atlanta is not the first to have this kind of law, nope, saggers or baggy trousers are already banned in the southern US city of Delcambre, in Louisiana, where offenders' cheek (hehe) can earn them a fine of $500 or up to six months in jail. That's a high price for low jeans!

Where is the heart?

2007-08-25T21:48:00.000+01:00

There are times when I am proud to call myself British, proud of my country, yet there are other times when I am not, times when it's hard to have faith in the 'goodness' of being British. I have that feeling now, over the mindless shooting of that little 11 year old Rhys Jones, in Liverpool on Wednesday. This young lad had been playing football in the park and was walking home with a couple of other lads, when along came a teenager on a bike who fired three shots, 1 hit a car, 1 missed everything and 1 hit little Rhys in the neck, ensuring his parents would never celebrate his twelve birthday.

His parents gave such a heartfelt appeal on television for information to help catch his killer, they told of their huge loss, a loss that one can not comprehend. They said their football mad son, was their pride and joy, a good guy, a smiley happy lad. I had tears stinging my eyes as I watched as his father told of his pain going into his sons room and seeing the brand new school uniform hanging up, never been worn, the unopened books, pens and pencils, the new shorts and kit ready for a new term at a new school that his son has never got to wear, along with those new shoes and new trainers. My eyes still sting with salty tears even now as I type this, he was just a boy, just 11 years old, a whole life ahead of him, a life full of promise, a life cruelly snuffed out by this gunman's bullet. I say gunman, that's not strictly true, the description of the person who cycled up and fired those three shots is said to be a lad between 13 and 16.

I'm not ashamed to be British by the fact that Rhys was shot and killed on the streets of my country, as vile, horrendous and devastating as this crime is, it can happen, it's so rare in the country but it can happen. Its not the valiant attempts by the medical professionals who battled for an hour and a half to revive the small boy that shake my faith in being British. Nor is it the actions of the police, whose numerous appeals for information have been screen almost hourly on TV. The thing that shames me is the wall of silence that has followed from the community, the community where the killer comes from, the community that knows who did it, that knows who fired the shot that ended this youngsters life!

Another thing that has attracted my eye today is the strange appearance of Gerry McCann, father of the missing toddler, Madeleine in Edinburgh. He wasn't there for a break, he wasn't there to see the sights, he wasn't there because of a sighting of his little girl. No, he was there to give a speech at The International Media Festival! He complained that the media coverage of his daughters disappearance was becoming intrusive, irresponsible reporting and not a lot of good. This is the coverage he and his wife courted, requested and in a lot of cases arranged. He and his wives TV and Media agents, yes they do have them, have gone out of their way to achieve publicity. Hypocrisy on a grand scale me thinks, mind you, right from the start I think they've handled the whole thing badly. But perhaps, the McCann's now want to stop the media coverage because the media is starting question and critics them?

A teenage geek is causing a few red faces and worried frowns at electronics giant Apple! George Hotz, a 17 year old American nerd, has unlocked Apple's iPhone and used it on T-Mobile, a rival network to its sole US operator, AT&T. The teen hacker says the unlocking takes about two hours and involves some soldering and skill with software. "Some of my friends think I wasted my summer but I think it was worth it" the teenager said to the media after he revealed his achievements on his blog over in the States. Hackers and security researchers have been poring over Apple's much-coveted, much in demand phone since its launch in the US in June in an effort to discover vulnerabilities in the handset. Top of their list has been cracking the code that ties the phone to AT&T, the iPhone's exclusive network. And now a 17 year old lad has done just that, his claims have been confirmed by the press association. AT&T and Apple have not yet commented on the news!

It's been Gay Pride up in Manchester today, and loads of poofs and lesbians have been enjoying the day, amoung them my friend Jakey. He said it was just like Brighon's pride earlier this month only not in a park and not as good. The police lead the parade, just like in Brighton and it was a good day apparently, according to the rather odd texts I've recieved from the younger man. His spelling is getting worse by the text, which may very well be as his intoxication increases! Have fun Jake!

So, it appears that Big Brother is on the way out! I'm oddly proud of the fact that I have not watched a complete single episode of this current series, I don't know anyone who has been a regular viewer of this once popular show. But it appears that it's coming to an end, well OK, maybe it's just the star's version of the show. The 2008 series of Celebrity Big Brother is being axed in the wake of the race row which engulfed the shows last run, Channel 4 has confirmed. A decision about a return for the reality show in 2009 is expected to be made next year, but according to some people at the production company Endemol, it's unlikely to come back in it's present form, the same may very well be applied to the 'non' celebrity version of the show. Still those at Endemol are not that concerned, they've got the contract until 2010, so they'll get paid regardless, if it's on or not!

Thta's ya lot for today, more soon, but just before I go, I want to say thanks to Tom for the comments, you're a font of knowledge! Always good to get your comments!

At last a paddle!

2007-08-22T21:30:00.000+01:00

Ever had a day where everything goes wrong, where nothing is easy and you feel like giving up? Yeah I am sure you have, we all have days like that, day's when you wish you'd never opened up your bleary eyes, swung your legs out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom. This is dedicated to days when things go wrong and you're heading up shit creek without a paddle, because as the following photo proves, you do now have a paddle, at least you can get one. So chill, it's not that bad, there is hope!

As a veggie, I'm always keen on keeping an eye out for new products and recipes to make my diet as a committed vegetarian more exciting. However I did have a little chuckle and wonder what possed the makes of the V Pud to make such a thing when I saw this in the local grocery emporium! It's a vegetarian version of Black Pudding!! OK, so I guess some of you may not know what a traditional English Black Pudding is, and no, it's not some dark chocolate sweet for afters. It is in actual fact a delicacy? made up of fat, lard, onions and ermm blood! Yeah, it's an animal blood pudding, with the main ingredient being the fresh blood of either a pig, sheep or cow. So a vegetarian version of this is shall we say a little on the strange side of things. So strange that I'm going to try it out, I'll let you know what my non blood blood pudding tastes like after I've sampled it, although I can honestly say the mere idea of noshing it down is not filling me with joy!

The V Pud!

A vegetarian black pudding!

OK, so the V pud, is actually kinda nice, looks a bot odd, taste nice though, I'll have to have more of it for a recovery fry-up breakfast after my next big boozy session, it's the perfect fried thing to fill you up after a massive session on the beverages or those alcohol variety!

It's been a long hard shift of four at work, really difficult to copy with, but hey it's over now and thank fuck for that! I've had a very do nothing kind of day today, which has been nice and relaxing. I'm going to go cycling tomorrow, if the weather is agreeable. It's about time I got back on the bike and god knows my bad leg needs a work out. It's a bit sore and stiff just lately and it's also a lil bit swollen around the knee, so I think a work out is in order. It'll either make it better or it will give me reason to go to the doc's and fix up the next op!

I've just watched England play Germany in a friendly European footie game. I know, how butch, how manly and straight, but hey, one cant be a mincy poof all the time! It was good, except, England lost 2 - 1, still my fav player lil Alana Smith was playing, which I enjoyed. Sadly he's not got his trademark dyed blonde hair at the mo, just his natural dark colour, but, he;s still a hottie and still a good player. I sunk a few cans of beer whilst watching the match, god I feel so straight!

Apart from the ride tomorrow, I've not got anything major planned, just Jake coming around for a bit of nosh and to do his washing, however to be honest, I think after nosh, we'll head out and have a bit of a booze up! I think I need it! David is down in Wales to see his mummy, the other David is so wrapped in his boyfie I don't think he'll ever come out to play!

It's a shame it's coming up for winter, OK, so it's still August, but with the weather recently you'd never know it, all rain, doom and gloom. I could so do with some more sun, in fact a lot more sun. I'd love to be living some place hot and sunny, where the weather is a lot kinder to me and far more beneficial to my health. Perhaps I should do what record number of Brits are doing and that's moving overseas! Yeah, more and more Brits are now leaving the country to live in places like Australia, New Zealand, Spain or even America! They are blaming many things, but towards the top of the list are weather, tax, employment, crime, immigration. Indeed, there are times that it does not feel like England any more, I'll give you a couple of examples, England's most common family names? Patel & Singh. England's most popular dish? Curry & korma There are shops in my hometown of Brighton where all the products are Polish, all the signs are in Polish and the only language spoken is, yep you got it Polish! In fact in this town, according to local research, over 80 % hotel employees come from Poland and other Eastern European countries. England, our once great nation, our once world leader is now fast becoming a cesspit of Europe, there are some many people from other countries here that you can walk from one end of town to the other and see only two or three real Brits!

Maybe that is the sign of things to come, we will no longer be a single country, just an island outpost of central Europe. Perhaps we are less European than those on the mainland, but will that last for long? Hope long before we have to have the Euro? How long with we stay British and not be Europeans, but more so, is there and pride left in being British?

Fry just a little japs and too much Cotton!

2007-08-18T02:01:00.000+01:00

I've had a lazy day, full of well, very little actually, I got up late for no other reason that I could, took a brief walk outside, looked at the sea and the prom as I have done every day of these four off. I just love living by the sea, no matter how I'm feeling, one look at the sea coming to kiss the shore, relaxes me and dare I say without sounding like a pompous twat, enchants me! So thus enchanted, I got on an bus and went to see my brother over in the less enchanting, Portslade. My brother is hosting students from the EF language school, so these days he's always got at least one foreign student in the house. At the moment, he's got a young Japanese boy called Dieki, who is a very quiet and polite young man. What struck me about this visitor to our shores from a land far far away is how pretty he was, if a boy can be pretty this young student was, at least before he put on his milk bottle thick glasses! Such a sweet and gentle face, never before have I ever felt or thought of an oriental chap as attractive, but little Dieki, is, sweet and attractive, skinny as a string bean, like a twig, but sweet all the same. Shame his English is not good at the moment, however, I sure I could give him a lesson or two, but sadly he's young, just a mere 20, far too young for me I fear!

After taking a walk and a bus back from my brother's I wondered through the TV channels as one does when one has time without demands, and happened upon the start of a programme on BBC4 entitled 'Stephen Fry - 50 not out" all about Stephen Fry. Now, I'd bet you'd never had got that from the title, I've I hadn't have let the cat out of the bag! I like Mr Fry, I think he's amazingly talented, yet it was only the show tonight, or rather last night as I write this, that made me stop and think for just how long I've enjoyed his performance, his entertainment, his well, being. For example, I'd not really remembered that as a schoolboy I'd enjoyed the show 'A bit of Fry and Laurie' or a little afterwards 'Jeeves & Wooster' which I've enjoyed a second time thanks to the re-runs on UK Gold. Or even the wonderful films such as 'Peter's Friends' and the, enchanting, yes that word again, enchanting 'Wilde' that's the one about Oscar Wilde of course, mind you it probably goes without saying that I'd enjoy that movie, me being a poof and all. Anyway, it was a great bit of TV on the Beeb, a trip down memory lane, a complete potted career history of what is a wonderful man. I mean, during the show, there was various friends of his, such as Emma Thompson, Hugh Laurie and so on saying wonderful things about him, included among that collection of stars was HRH Prince Charles!

Anyway, after that programme finished, I felt compelled, nee desired to say thank you, now I very seldom do this, in fact I cant really remember a time when I have done this, but, without the fear of sounding again right nob head, I wrote him what can only truthfully be describe as a fan letter! OK, so it started off as a simple 'thank you' note for the years of entertainment he has given me, but after reviewing it, it's pretty much a fan letter. In fact yes it's a big fan, but I'm not ashamed of the fact that at my age I'm sending the odd fan letter! I mean, in these days when it's so easy to get criticised and put down, how nice is it it get a compliment and also, surely it's polite to thank someone when they've done you a good turn? In Stephen Fry's case, he's entertained me many many many times, he is what that business they call show is all about! So thank you from the bottom of my bottom Mr Fry!

X Factor, the TV talent show headed up my Angus' neighbours son, Simon Cowell makes it's fourth return visit to out telly screens this weekend, and already it's hitting the headlines! OK, so we are all awear of the Luise Walsh sacking and then re-instalment story which has gone on in the tabloid newspapers for the last few months. I for one think that was just a pre-show publicity stunt, to keep the show in the headlines and talked about while it was off air, but maybe I'm a cynic! This TV talent show is also in the news today because it's been suggested that the true queen of pop will make a one-off appearance on the prog, yes, Kylie is going to be on! Well her sis Dannii is on the judging panel and we all know the Minogues are a close family. There has also been claims that they 'staged; some of the shots about Louis coming back, but rather than this being and expose by the British Press, the show producers said it when they were doing the press launch, something about being upfront on the current media speculation of fake TV that has dogged other shows! Well done X Factor I say.

I don't know if you've managed to catch 'That Antony Cotton Show' on tea time telly with ermm Antony Cotton? Well, I know I'd say it was going to be a giggle, well sadly it's not quite hitting the spot, indeed it;s a bit of a damp mess. They've got this silly DJ person on it, which neither fits and is not funny, it's format is a pretty standard one and could work, but the show needs to move faster, have less of a studio audience and little Antony, who is a really nice guy, needs to stop trying too hard. It's like he's trying to be a master showman, when really what we want is a down to earth camp lad that he is when he;s on Corrie and what he was like in Queer As Folk, "Australian - very nice!" So Ant, please don't try too hard, relax a little and be yourself, after all it's you being you that we've tuned in to so, not you taking on the part of some TV presenter showman, oh and also drop the singing bit, unless you make it a gag and funny.

That is ya lot for today, I need to go to be pretty soon, but remember, what ever happened today, it will be tomorrows yesterday and we all know that's the past and we should live for today!

A level, Elvis & social networking!

2007-08-16T20:55:00.000+01:00

Congratulations to all those in England who got their A level results today, apparently it's been the best year ever with as many as 1 on 4 getting top marks, one of those 1's was my mate Jake! So well done Jakey baby, only the degree to work on now! I've always believed in the positive power of education, even if perhaps I don't excel at it, I can clearly see the benefits of proper education, after all knowledge is key, unless you happen to work for the same company that I do! Oops, I've promised not to mention work haven't I? Oh well!

It's 30 years since Elvis died, to make the occasion there has been a mass vigil at Gracelands with thousands of fans passing by 'The King's'' gravestone (complete with the miss spelt name!) Over here there has been various Elvis impersonators doing their thing up and down the country, one of which was a mass performance on BBC's the One show on BBC1, which I have to say was very good. Imagine if you will, 50 Elvis impersonators all dressed up and all singing the same song in their very best Elvis voices! Now that's entertainment I'm happy to pay my licence fee for!!

Hardly a week goes by these days without me getting an automated email informing me that I have a friend who wants to add me to their list of people classed as a 'friend' on various social networking sites. It seems we are being bombarded and persuaded to become more social on the net than were ever are in the flesh. I've been invited to join various friends on, Bebo, Myspace, Facebook, Faceparty, Ziopia, Fitlads and various other social networking groups and sites. OK, so I've joined a couple of them and have a growing list of 'Internet' friends - people who I've only ever met online, after all we live in a digital technological world. What's worrying about this trend to be social on line is twofold, firstly, all that personal information that is now places out there in the open of webspace, which is not always a good thing. And secondly, are we encouraging a more solitary life for the next generation, are we becoming a less social bread of humans, who are happy to socialise on the internet and less likely to socialise outside, in the real world.

I find it so hard to actually keep track of all the friends I've got on my Bebo, Myspace, Faceparty, Fitlads and other social networking sites, I mean can you really have a meaningful friendship with person number 75 on your friendship list. Maybe you can exchange an email or onsite instant message or three, but does that really count as friendship, I mean you can't borrow a tenner from them the week before payday can you! And what about the person that is number 184 on your Mysapce or Bebo or whichever social networking site you favor, do you know anything about them really? I doubt it, well, OK, perhaps that should be do you know anything about them that's not on their profile, which would be more correct. I have lots of 'Internet friends' on the various networking sites I subscribe to, yet only two of them bothered to wish me a happy birthday the other week, so is this growing list of people my friends, or just people I know (albeit not very well) or just really a collection of people, whose public face and persona I quite like and vice versa? I think it's probably the later, but perhaps it's still an ego boost when someone invites you to be their friend or asks for your friendship, OK so it's only online, and they have absolutely no interest in meeting you in the real world, but still, they wanna be your friend and that's always nice. So to all my Myspace, Bebo, Faceparty friends, I say hello, and ain't it about time you sent me a message!!!

There is also another danger of this type of networking, you just never know whose going to be reading what you put on your profile or page. Take for example the case of the house that was wrecked after the girl had a party, it was advertised on myspace, gatecrashed by thousands and left the girls parents picking up a bill for £20k to clear up and repair the once smart family home! Or the students from a certain university, who have been well and truly told off by the university faculty after they places photos of their social actives on Facebook. Or, perhaps it's a job or promotion your looking for, well maybe in that case it's better to leave your profile blank. A growing number of companies are doing online searches on perspective employees or those seeking promotion, for their suitability. Indeed there are companies out there (OK at the moment mainly in America) that specialise in online searches for companies looking in on staff's personal lives and potential employees suitability. Remember, what goes online, can be read, digested and spat out by virtually anyone. For example, when I started doing my blog, I never expected it to be read by people in Iran and Jordan for example, but it is! I never expected to have it inwardly digested by a regular reader from Vancouver, but every now and then I get emails from her (Yes it's a girl) making sure I'm OK, and asking for definitions on certain English words like, totty and strumpet! So what you put on your social networking site could and can be used against you, but what should you do, what should go up there? Well, someone once advised me that you should never put anything online that you would be embarrassed about saying in front of your mother! (If I'd taken that advice, then perhaps a quarter of this blog would never have been published!!)

Right, that's ya lot for now, more before the weeks out!

You cant give it away!

2007-08-15T17:34:00.000+01:00

The sun is shining down on Brighton this afternoon, unlike yesterday when it was tipping it down, there was even some thunder, great August weather - not! I'm on my four days off after a long and strange night shift, I have no plans this time off so I'm just gonna completely veg out, this is like me time. I'm just tottling along I guess, although right now, I'm having a mini mid life crisis! I feel I'm just wasting away my time, I know there is more to life and more I should be doing, although I'm not completely sure what it is I should be up to. I think perhaps it's about time I should be doing some writing, not like the blog, but propper story, fiction type writing, I love doing it, I love the whole creative aspect, it suits my solitary notions, it fills me with joy, I just don't seem to have enough time for it, which is a bit of a problem.

I've had a load of thoughts and creative kinda dreams just lately, you know ideas for stories, dittys, and even a play and a couple of screenplay ideas for telly. I really have no clue, how to go about that whole thing, but I know that I'm happiest when I'm writing. (Ok, I'm probably happiest when I'm having good sex, but you know what I mean!) So, I need to earn some decent money, so I can give up work for a while and set about finishing that novel and plotting that screenplay and let those creative juices flow.

The UK football season is now underway, and OK, so I'm a poof and I'm not what you would call a hardened footy fan, I still do have an interesting in the sport. Yeah, I know, it probably has something to do with 11 fit guys running around in shorts and getting all hot, sweaty and muddy more than this game itself, but hey, what do ya expect from a lil poofy lad like me? This year I've even surprised myself, I've loaded in a coupkle of teams in the fantasy football league game - http://www.dreamteamfc.com/ I've had to pick a couple of teams, from their list of players and we'll see how I do at the end of the season. I'f you're interested, I'll update you on my progress throughout the season, the top prize is a couple of hundred thousand pounds and a few other prized along the way, so you never know, I could be giving up work and becoming a writer on the back of such a macho sport as football. Mind you, I havn't really picked my players because of their football ability, I've gone for guys I like the look of, which probably isn't the way to win the competition, but hey how, at least my way was more fun!

Plus it give's me just a little excuse to put up some pics of the top totty footballers, like those on my dream team, just for the sake or.. errmm well... I like looking at them really!

There has been some very odd happenings going on in Japan, it's a mystery that's baffling the Police, spooking out residents and generally causing a bit of a stir to say the very least.

Yet, from what one hears, it's not a bad thing that's been going on, it's a good thing, at least it would be if it was happening to me! This is the mystery of money! Well, to be nmore accurate, it's the mystery sweeping over Japan over anonymous cash gifts has taken a new twist. Residents of a Tokyo apartment building are completely baffled after a total of 1.81 million yen (that's round about £7200) was found in 18 mailboxes by Saturday 28th July! The money was in identical plain envelopes, which were unsealed and just contained the cash, no letter, no words, just the notes!

But residents became "spooked" rather than pleased with the anonymous gifts, and were too upright to pocket the money secretly. "Some people initially suspected they were fake bills. When they realised the bills were real, they reported them to us," a Police spokesman said.

The predominantly middle-class apartment building in Tokyo is not alone. An envelope with one million yen was left in the mailbox of a 31-year-old woman in the western city of Kobe on Wednesday 25th July.

Police admit they dont have a clue, if it's one person, a group or even a really bizarre notion that Japan is witnessing a craze of copycat benevolence of the anonymous kind. Since June, dozens of city halls and other public buildings across the country have reported finding neatly packaged envelopes full of cash in men's toilets, however the bathroom money has come with identical letters asking people to do good deeds!

These Japanese cash drop offs are not always so neat and tidy, also on Wednesday, notes worth 960,000 yen were inexplicably seen "falling" in front of a convenience store. Again the Police don't have a Scooby Doo (clue) who dropped the money "We can just say the money came from the skies," a puzzled police official said. "There were other passers-by outside and customers in the store but the incident caused no confusion," he said, then added "People thought it was too eerie to touch."

The largest single dropoff so far was in the ancient city of Kyoto on July 23, astonishing a 67-year-old woman who found an envelope containing 10 million yen of neatly stacked notes in her mailbox.

Jap media tallies suggest more than four million yen, including some found last year, has been found in the public bogs and the like. With the police are holding most of the money in case the rightful owner eventually decides to reveal their identity. As most of the people who have found the cash are too upright to keep it.

So, there you go, proof that in some places in the world you cant even give cash away! It wouldn't be like that here, oh no, if I found someone had left me a big wedge of noyes in my mailbox, I'd be keeping that dosh. Wouldn't you?

Ok, that's ya lot, be good and remember, it nice to be appreciated but it more appreciated to be nice!

Sunny world and distant views!

2007-08-10T14:21:00.000+01:00

The south has been bathed in a blanket of warmness and sunny skies and little breeze over the past couple of days and it's been so nice to be off and be able to enjoy it for a change. Today I took a walk along St James Street, Upper St James street and through Kemp Town and then back along the prom, some times it's just so wonderful to watch the world pass by. I was so relaxed, no rush, just doodling and enjoying the stunningly hot weather. I love looking out to sea and walking along the prom is perfect for that, plus just once in a while you get to see some nice totty walking along. Ahh I love living in Brighton! Next time I take a walk, I'm going to take my camera and snap a few of the sights along the way.

I was shocked looking through the local newspaper yesterday, I was glancing at the property section and saw and ad for a little garage, just 20 feet long and 10 feet wide, in Hove for sale for £25,000! I guess I shouldn't really be surprised at the cost, when tiny 1 bedroomed sea front apartments are going for £390,000! I don't think I'll ever be able to afford to buy a decent sea front pad at these prices, not unless my numbers come up or I marry some hunky sexy rich handsome millionaire. And the changes of either of those happening are about 50 million to 1!

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse or Amy Wineglass as I tend to call her, has been admitted to rehab following her recent hospitalisation, according to various media reports. The 23-year-old was rushed to University College Hospital (UCLH) in London on Wednesday suffering from "severe exhaustion" according to her record company. But tabloids are hinting her illness may have been caused by drink and drugs instead, with the Daily Mirror claiming she checked into exclusive London clinic The Priory on Thursday to battle her demons. This is not the first time she's been to rehab and to be honest I don't think it's gonna be the last time either. She seems to have one of those addictive personalities that just need to have some kind of crutch. I'm going to see her this December with David down at the Brighton Centre, that is of course if she turns up and is not in rehab or pissed as a parrot in the gutter along St James Street or high as a kite flying above North Laines!

The things people do, I saw this on the net and found it kinda hard to believe, but apparently it's true. It was under the headline, "US man has thumb surgery to use iPhone" That's going a bit far, I thought to myself and read onwards. It's true, 28 year old Thomas Martel, from Bonnie Brae, was struggling to use the touchscreen keyboard on his iPhone so he did what any red-blooded gadget lover would do and got his thumb chopped about so he could use the device better. Apparently his thumb has been altered in a revolutionary new surgical technique known as "whittling." Basically, the thumb is slimmed down and shortened and made smaller. "From my old Treo (what?) , to my Blackberry, to this new iPhone, I had a hard time hitting the right buttons, and I always lost those little styluses," explained Martel in his local paper, "Sure, the procedure was expensive, but when I think of all the time I save by being able to use modern handhelds so much faster, I really think the surgery will pay for itself in ten to fifteen years. And what it's saving me in frustration - that's priceless." I doubt I'd have surgery just to use some new piece of electrical gadgetry, but is this now a case of things becoming too small to use? Or maybe he just had really fat thumbs!

OK, so just last week we had Brighton's gay pride, which was a wonderful exciting day, but if you are a red head, a ginger hair'd boy or girl, then there is one place you will definitely want to be later this month - The Ginger Festival! Oh my god, yes, there is one and if you are ginger or a red head you'll be offered free entry to a festival celebrating all things ginger. The National Botanic Garden of Wales claims the event on August 26 will be the country's first Ginger Family Festival. The day will celebrate the opening of the new Tropical House at the tourist attraction in Carmarthenshire, west Wales, which features many exotic examples of the Zingiberaceae plant family, also known as the ginger family. Gingers of the world unite!!!

I'm kinda used to the prices down here in the bar's of Brighton, Jake's mate Adam, who has been down for a few days bulked at the price of a pint in Legends at just over £3.40. Adam is a northern boy, pints of the same beer back in his home town are £2.10 which is a snip. Here in Brighton, the prices are the same, and sometimes just a little more expensive than London. I'm used to it, however, I wish I could go to a bar and spend, spend, spend like that businessman did in London the other day. Did you hear about that? This guy, A Middle Eastern businessman spent over £105,000 in a five-hour, champagne and vodka drinking spree in a London nightclub at the weekend. Crystal nightclub in London said the big spender entered Crystal at midnight on Saturday with friends, 9 women and 8 guys, first ordered a £24 bottle of white wine. But before long he was ordering magnums of Dom Perignon at £700 each and then called for a Methuselah, that's 8 bottles in one, of Cristal Champagne at £30,000 and the party spread. The festivities ended with a "night cap" consisting of a Methuselah of Belvedere vodka, which cost £1,400 "He basically just said, 'keep the drinks flowing,'" the club spokesman said. When the party left at 5 a.m., the bill was £81,471.50, which with tax and service added amounted to £105,805.28. A costly night out for sure, next time can I come!

We don't get them very often, but when we do, they tend to make the news, even if they are very mild, it's still exciting to know that Manchester has had another earthquake measuring 2.5 on the Richter scale. There were no reports of any injuries in the city, but experts said the impact was felt by a number of people across the city "We expect about eight earthquakes of this magnitude each year in the UK," a British Geological Survey spokesman said. The reason it has been felt by more people than usual is that it is quite shallow, about 5km, and it appears to be in a built-up area. It appears to be right in the centre of Manchester, the same location as a series of earthquakes in October 2002." Feel the earth move under my feet, sounds like a song to me, god, I can't remember the last time the earth moved for me.

Looking for a different holiday destination? Want something a little more unusual? How about a hotel with the best view in the universe? Well you'll have to wait until 2012 for it, but it could just be that place were very few have gone before. "Galactic Suite" the first hotel planned in space, expects to open for business in 2012 and would allow guests to travel around the world in 80 minutes. Its Barcelona-based architects say the space hotel will be the most expensive in the galaxy, costing $4 million for a three-day stay. Fancy going? How about a nice romantic long weekend away, during that time guests would see the sun rise 15 times a day and use Velcro suits to crawl around their pod rooms by sticking themselves to the walls like Spiderman. Company director Xavier Claramunt says the three-bedroom boutique hotel's joined up pod structure, which makes it look like a model of molecules, was dictated by the fact that each pod room had to fit inside a rocket to be taken into space. "It's the bathrooms in zero gravity that are the biggest challenge," says Claramunt. "How to accommodate the more intimate activities of the guests is not easy."

When guests are not admiring the view from their portholes they will take part in scientific experiments on space travel. This far out Galactic Suite began as a hobby for former aerospace engineer Claramunt, until a space enthusiast decided to make the science fiction fantasy a reality by fronting most of the $3 billion needed to build the hotel. I'm packing my bag already!

Right that's ya lot for now, I'm going to have a little snooze before I have to go to work tonight for a full shift of four on. Oh what crap! Nope, I mean what fun don't I?

Clubbing with the girls!

2007-08-06T22:35:00.000+01:00

I don't remember what time I came home on Saturday night/ Sunday morning, but I know I had a good time. I rested a little bit, when for a walk and mouched down St James Street before I came home and rested again and then it was time of Mo, Nadine and Samantha to come round./ We were off clubbing down at the Volks nightclub, just along the parade from the Sea life centre. Mo's son, John, runs the night down in that little boxy club, so we headed down nice and early and well, clubbed at little bit till some time after 2!

It was rather nice to be clubbing with Mo, something we haven't done for a long time, she has this amazing amount of energy, just dancing all night, always moving and always having a laugh and a blast. The music was proper banging, really good and hard, which is what we both love, so it's always fun clubbing with Mo. She had her camera with her, which is always a bad sign because it means there's bound to be odd pictures of me in various states of intoxication! Sunday night was no exception as can be seen here in the following slide show. It starts off with Mo, Nadine, Sam and me at my place, then moving on up to the club!

Thanks ya lot for today, but before I pop off here's another tale from the mouth of the young!

A little boy was doing his math homework.

He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine...."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my mathhomework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered.

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."

The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?"

After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OFWHICH, is four."!

Pride Piccies

2007-08-05T18:34:00.000+01:00

On the parade

Sea of people in Preston park

Cute line dancer (Rob was in there some place!)

Loads more Pride Pics (check Mo out!!)

Happy Pride! & It's a funny old world!

2007-08-04T21:00:00.000+01:00

Well, what can I say, it's been a few days since I last plopped a few words on the blog. Jo and Carolyn came down on Tuesday and let's just say a nice day was had, then a very eventful evening, which ended in the most mega row of epic proportions, the like of which I hope I never see again.

My birthday came and went and now I'm another year older, yes, I'm now facing the last couple of years of my thirties! Oh fuck, it's all down here from now on then! I mite as well be dead, for every poof knows that 40 in gay years is 80 and well past it! It's gay pride in Brighton today, an amazing celebration of diversity and spectacle. I watched the Parade with Angus and three of his lovely friends, one of which was over from Hong Kong! Then we walked up to Preston Park, which is where the biggest free festival Europe has ever seen takes place. The sun was burning down and I did feel a little frazzled as I sunk into my tinnies!

Jake was there as well as a few others, so met up with him for a little bit and had a boogy in the Wild Fruit tent. Then after chilling for a while with Angus it was homeward bound for me. So here I am, doing this while I'm waiting for some nosh to cook and then after that I'm heading down St James Street. The street at the bottom of my road has been closed for a bit of a street party, so no doubt there will be much drinking and merriment on the streets of Brighton. I'll take some piccies and share them with you next time. Oh and a full report of all the action, which I'm sure there will be plenty of!

It's a funny old world you know, there are so many different cultures, beliefs and customs that it sometimes boggles and confuses the mind. I mean there I was walking along St James Street here in good old Brighton the other morning and I thought how simply cosmopolitan the little world at the end of my road is, for example at the bottom of the street is an exotic grocer, selling all manor of things from all over the world. Then a little way up is a traditional continental Deli and further up is a Polish coffee shop, complete with Polish products and Polish signs.

It got me thinking as I perused the shelves of various pickled things, the like of which I would never in my wildest nightmares of dreamt of pickling, of how various nationalities have such different customs from one another. I mean, for example if your in Turkey, Brazil or even Germany, don't do the little OK sign with your thumb and forefinger in the shape of an 'o' to show you're fine, because in those countries it's a sign of well, lets just say an orifice of which you are most likely sitting on right now!

In most parts of Africa, including Morocco it's considered very rude to shake hands or eat with your left hand, because in their culture and history the left hand is used only for cleaning the above mentioned orifice! The thumbs up signal in Iran would get you in trouble, over there it has the same meaning as the finger! It's unacceptable in India for a woman to initiate a handshake, it's also considered rude if you clear your plate when invited as a guest to dinner. It means you're still hungry and your host hasn't fed you enough. Here in England a nod of the head means yes and shaking it left and right means no, it's the complete opposite in Bulgaria, Greece and former Yugoslav countries.

If you eat nosily and belch afterwards here in Blighty you're considered common and uncouth, yet in Japan slurping up ya noodles is a good sign as is belching after a meal in many Arab lands. It's all very confusing if you ask me, in some countries it's good form to offer a kiss, others it not, do point here and don't point there, it's a wonder we don't get in to more trouble when we're travelling overseas. Mind you, it's not hard to see how visitors get completely mystified when coming to England, after all we find it hard to comprehend each other half the time!

For example, my friend David has some pretty strange sayings that until he uttered them I'd never heard before and we come from the same country. Indulge me for a moment as I take you into David's world where some of these sayings and phrases are common place. The first indicating extreme tiredness "I could sleep on a chickens lip" and onwards "Might as well get hung for a sheep as a lamb" another one that has my mind boggled "No need to spoil the ship for a h'peth of ta" or even this one - "If if's and and's were pot's and pan's they'd be no need for tinkers" But it's not just David I sometimes have difficulty understanding, at times when I'm on the phone to Si up in Newcastle, or James in Glasgow, I have to ask them to slow down their speech by half so I can understand them. With such a wide variety of regional accents in such a small country it's a wonder anyone from outside can understand us. But hey, that's gotta be changing, I mean, the most common last nights in England are Singh and Patel and the most popular dish - curry!

Sometime over the last weekend I read that TV Chef Antony Worral Thmpson has his fingers and his tongue insured for £500,000. That's a lot of money in any ones world, mind you I'm sure there are a lot of people, just like me that would club together to give him that amount of dosh to have his tongue cut out. He don't 'alf go on and on sometimes, but his food's not bad. I also read that David Beckham's legs are insured for £40 million, which is a little much I fear, surely his face earns him more than his legs do these days. It's strange the variety of things you have have insured, for example when I was working on radio and doing voices I had my on voice insured, after all it was my way of earning money. In those days it was good, if I had a cold and sore throat and couldn't work, I got paid for being sick more than I would have done if I'd have worked!

Right that's ya lot for now, just time to leave you with another last word from the mouth of babes. Young children say the funniest of things!

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."