Journey to Deaf Identity

Volunteering from Deaf hearts: Deaf, We are One and Many.

2009-01-21T19:15:00.029-07:00

"Ask not what your Deaf Community can do for you; ask what you can do for your Deaf Community."

Reading the request of Mishka Zena's about what one have done for the Deaf community, I was thinking, 'that's a splendid idea! To show how much we have done for the community, instead of pulling each other down." I had thought long and hard, and I did not want to sound I was bragging or to put the spotlight on each individual. What I would like to do is to show individuals, not just me, doing much for the community.

1) When the hurricane Katrina hit, many of us, I'm sure, had been wondering how the New Orleans Deaf community were doing and if they were all right. The Baton Rogue school for the deaf had promptly opened their rooms for families with and without children. Local interpreters of Texas and Louisiana fought to put out awareness of what the deaf community had gone through, especially with lack of communication. I still vividly remember when someone had sent out a false list of who had died- I contacted the correct contact working with Red Cross to find out and gave out the proper list of who had survived and where they had ended up at. Gallaudet had fought in convincing the Red Cross that the deaf community needed mental health help. The university finally got the permission to send mental health counselors, social workers and child psychologists who can sign. I alerted the Colorado Deaf community (and others who had forwarded the request list to other friends out of state) about donations of necessities to deaf survivors who had lost everything, such as dishes, books, TTYs, children clothes, children toys, sheets, kitchen needs, and so on, in which so many had donated, including from a school program with deaf students donating books, a NJ family sending a TTY, a CA individual sending a check, several interpreters with kitchen needs, a comic book store donating comics for children. And all those individuals I listed, had volunteered, and did it from their hearts and belief in the Deaf community.

2) Many of us have done volunteer advocates for deaf programs dealing with domestic violence. Several of us had known the risks of meeting survivors, knowing there was a chance of encountering the abuser or seeing things that we couldn't easily forget. We worked with survivors on developing self esteem and motivation to escape the chains of physical, verbal, sexual and/or emotional abuse. To protect the safety of deaf survivors and the volunteer advocates, one could not identify the deaf volunteers, but one cannot deny that the volunteers did all that with determination and perseverance with the belief that the Deaf women and children have the right to be safe as well as the hearing community.

3) Due to limited access and/or limited funds, much of the Deaf community had not gotten appropriate information to HIV/AIDS and STDS (sexually transmitted diseases). In past, there had been several programs working with the Deaf community- unfortunately either due to mistreatment of finances or the assumption that "others" can help out, programs had closed down. There are so few, several on both coasts and one or two in the Midwest- that's not enough, not even close. As an unpaid volunteer, I had attended trainings provided by the Technical Assistance and Training Program of Colorado department of public health along with a friend who too wanted to provide educational tools for the Deaf community. I had worked with clients living with HIV+. I had worked with groups discussing about safe sex and how to protect themselves, and that's not even close to what programs have done for the Deaf community. DeafHope, GLAD (with HIV Prevention and HIV Interpreting program), Chicago Foundation for Deaf and other programs had fought to keep their programs running. We all believe that the Deaf community have the right to information, and the right to decide how to handle their health, with full awareness.

4) For me, I have been doing a blog in goal of helping the Deaf community get information that may be of benefit. I know that I do not write much often as other bloggers. My education demands a lot of me at this time, however I try to make time to ensure that if there is a need for information, I will put it out.

5) And oh yeah, I am working on becoming a mental health counselor, to work with Deaf and hh individuals, families and groups, who can then create the tools they need to handle their own lives and develop confidence. Before returning to school, I had worked with deaf individuals at groups, in their goals of becoming independent, getting and keeping a job, raising children properly and safely, advocating for their rights to access and communication, and encouraging the public to respect the person's right to decision-making instead of taking over their lives. I speak for myself- I don't believe in leading one by the hand, doing things myself. I believe that individuals can be successful by themselves once they learn how to help themselves and the families/friends around them.

I could go on and on, but I bet that the folks can speak up for themselves on what they have done and are still doing for the Deaf community. What about you? I want to end this with:

"Know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist." - Barack Obama

Golly Gee! Time to catch up.

2009-01-11T19:24:00.003-07:00

It had been almost an half year since I last wrote on this blog. Graduate school had kept me busy for the semester before the last. Now I'm here in another state during my internship (last semester) before I could graduate this upcoming May. I'm pretty excited about the internship in somewhere I never had been before. You know me, I like to try different states that I had not been in the past. 17 states left to explore!

I have found some labyrinths around here, and I hope to continue studying the labyrinths to be used as therapy for the deaf community, since I feel the walking meditation can be a visual tool. Many deaf people use ASL, which is a visual language, and so I was thinking, "why not labyrinths?" So I am hoping to pursue this, by taking the facilitator training which is in March. I am also looking into taking Red Cross Mental Health Crisis Intervention training, (whew, what a mouthful/handful to say!)

I couldn't say much more than that since I'm starting to gather much privacy as I can for myself, more I become a therapist. There is a clear need to keep personal boundaries for deaf therapists; being visual advocates for the Deaf community, they also need to keep their private lives separate. It is quite confusing for friends to look at me and go "are you talking as a friend or a therapist?" or looking to me to see if I could help them and I wonder if they are seeing me as a friend or therapist? That's where dangers of boundaries show up, and that's when we need to become more aware. Drawing boundaries are not easy as I had experienced in previous jobs, but it is very possible to be clear where the lines are and expect respect for privacy.

New Orleans and Hurricane Gustav

2008-08-31T11:28:00.005-06:00

I'm worried, especially with what is going on in New Orleans at this moment- So far from what I could read of articles from NOLA news and CNN news, most of folks are evacating from New Orleans, in steady flows with public transportation (buses, vans, trains and planes), which includes helping elderly and disabled getting out of the city. The last plane leaves at 6pm tonight from NOLA airport. At some pickp-up locations, the last bus leaves at 2pm from what I understand.

On the other hand, I read an article just a few minutes ago, that some are still unable to leave, such as two brothers trying to get a van to come pick their handicapped cousin, but the van did not show up (don't know if the van had yet showed up so far...), several workers saying that they don't have the funds for where they could stay if they do get out of New Orleans, a woman not leaving due to her two Rottweilers (and who could blame her? Pets are very much part of our families) and so on. ("Strapped for cash, some in New Orleans stay and hope" - CNN news)

There is an article on NOLA news about Shari Bernius of Deaf Action Center ensuring that there is access to communcation for the deaf community in New Orleans, as in being the interpreter at emergency announcements (on television since usually emergency announcements don't include closed captioning.) Shari said in the article that due to limited access, several deaf had died related to the hurricane/flooding, and several had suffered in confusion afterwards, as I would recall from some conversations with some LA teachers for the deaf and some evacuees in Houston. I am hoping that the Deaf community has better access to evacuation and services on where they could go and where they could stay during the evacation. I'm hoping to get a hold of Red Cross to find out about what they are doing for the Deaf community this time.

For whoever you are in New Orleans, Deaf or hearing, African-American or white, get out if you can, and for who could not get out for any reasons, try to get to a higher floor and stay alive. We'll pray for you.

Being stronger than bullies

2008-08-07T14:39:00.004-06:00

It has been more than 25 years ago when I had been bullied, throughout elementary to high school. Just to think that it had been that long ago, yet we still have bullies skulking in hallways of schools even in 2008, looking for prey which would be children/adolescents who could not protect themselves, or be protected by friendships or authority.

Just to think about what I had gone through as a victim of bullying, I still could see scars from within myself as well as on my skin. It took me a long while and a therapist in high school to realize that it was not my fault, or that I did not deserve to be hurt this way. I still remember when I was shoved through a bathroom, my face pushed into a mirror, while they took my books out of my bag. I still remember when I was shoved into mud during recess, in my dress on the photograph day. I still remember how a group of girls would threaten to hate/hurt me, unless I exposed myself, in the back of the bus. I still remember how I brought my hamster for show-and-tell, and to find that someone had smothered the hamster while I was away for lunch. I still remember how I woke up from a nap during a school field trip to find that someone had put gum in my hair, and that a teacher had to cut my hair to remove the gum. I still remember no matter how much the teachers would favor me (teacher's pet), the attention of teachers would never protect me from the bullies. It was a tough time for me when at 11-12, I was moved to a sign language program from an oral program, in which students would do me harm, just because I could not sign well as they could. Boys may be mean when hurting me, but it were the girls who could be the most cruel. Whatever I was, of being skinny, being clumsy, not knowing sign language, being deaf, being a girl, being the teacher's pet, being the 'model student', you name it, I might had been bullied just for that 'excuse.' In high school, it did not matter to a bully that I could not understand what she was saying, (hearing bully); she tried to push me down stairs that could end three floors down, if not that I grabbed her arm and the rail on the wall. It cost me a black eye, but better that than broken bones. It did not matter to a bully that I was poor, that the jacket that my grandmother made for me, could keep me warm; she had to take it after school off my back and claim that she did not take it when the teachers confronted her the next day. It did not matter if I loved books more than to hurt other weaker students, the bullies would not give up on hurting me; even if I started to cry, they would call me "crybaby". There was never a win-win situation in any of those times. Even when I became proficient in sign language, I could find myself hurt by hearing bullies. So it did not matter if the bullies were white or African-American, deaf or hearing, girl or boy, using sign language or not, they were ALL bullies alike in that they used violence to harm someone intentionally, knowing that they could get away with it. That is the very wrong we need to address when it comes to bully prevention programs in schools.

I had learned when I finished school, and then went into college, that no matter how one may try to protect oneself, it would have to be from the inner strength from oneself, as well as the awareness and motivation of society to say 'Bullying is NOT okay. We will not STAND for it." There are so many bully awareness and prevention programs in numerous schools. I had observed how often students would stand up for themselves in extreme situations, in the point that they would shoot bullies, as I see in countless articles throughout years. I had been told so many from other victims of bullies, that sometimes they can be protected by the prevention programs especially when bullies are counseled, as well as the victims. Bullies, you see, could be from dysfunctional families, in which they may lash out in school, or that they may not have gotten appropriate discipline or support from families. Recently, I found out that one of my middle school bullies had been sexually abused by her father, and so she had projected her anger and frustrations upon other students, since it was very much easier to do that to peers, than to an adult that could overcome a child repeatedly with his strength. With that awareness of what had happened to her, I confess that I had trouble figuring out whether I wanted to forgive her actions toward me when we were kids, or to understand her history. I could say that due to being Scottish, I could carry a grudge long as I want, but I don't see any point in that. There is no sense in being angry at what had happened to me when I was a child. What I am angry about is that so many children are victims themselves, and that in protecting themselves, or to release anger from within, they harm each other. This vicious cycle could continue as long as children experience trauma and violence from within their own families, and then bring it to school to harm other children.

From my own experiences of being bullied, I learned that it is harder for me to make friends, in fear that I could be betrayed or harmed, even in adulthood. Thankfully so many friends proved me wrong; I have so many friends that love me and support me. In that realization, I learned that I did not have to be a victim anymore. I can be an advocate and push for prevention programs of many unhealthy situations, such as bullying, substance abuse, family violence, domestic violence, sexual assault, neglect of children and vulnerable adults alike. We need to push for bully prevention programs in all schools, including residental schools, private, public, and mainstreamed schools, especially for children who are deaf, or have disabilities such as blindness, mental retardation, CP, or from other countries (immigrants, transit families, and of other cultures). Everyone need to realize that this CAN be prevented. No one deserves to be bullied, be they children or vulnerable adults.

Gratification, gotta get it now or later.

2008-07-11T17:02:00.006-06:00

I have so much things to do this coming fall! And all for the good.
I go see Sherrilyn Kenyon when she's in DC in August- that reminds me, I need to call the book store to ensure that there is an interpreter for when she do the reading and autograph signing. Waiting for the book, Archeron to come out (24 days left), and knowing that the author will stop in DC/VA on the book tour is a reward in itself, in which I am doing for passing my comps in mental health graduate program..and the comps was tough!

Then there is the Dragon-Con in Atlanta, GA, which is during the Labor Day weekend, in which I hope to see Laurell K. Hamilton, Anne McCaffrey, Sherrilyn Kenyon, Susan Sizemore, Margaret Weis, Joseph Michael Linsner, Robert Englund, Linda Blair (yeah, of Exorcist), and so on. Just let us hope that there'd be no assignments for me to do during THAT weekend or I'll do it on the road! Planning all the travelling, stays, activities/events to see (including checking out the Atlanta aquarium and the Dawn look-like contest at the Dragon con) is rewarding in itself, abetting the joy of seeing it all happening in the end.

Then there is the exercising. I had put it up on the shelves due to the track repairs, so I couldn't do fast walking. Soon the track will be complete and so I'll exercise again. I look forward to lose some more pounds. In weeks if not months, I'd get to lose some more weight that will end up making it easier for me to walk without stressing my legs out, and reducing asthma attacks.

I hit my toe on the doorway today and I hit the doorway in retribution. I knew the doorway didn't get in my way, but in anger and pain, I didn't think. It was gratifying to 'hit back' anyway, right away, now.

There are some classes I look forward for the fall semester, such as grief and loss, advanced therapy skills and assessment. Then I'll be off for internship in the spring semester. One thing I'll say about attending classes during summer, it means getting to the degree sooner than later! I have been working so hard, busting my ass (pardon my French), doing assignments, doing research (loved it), helping each other, knowing that in the long run, we all will be rewarded with degrees presented to us at the graduation of May 2009.

I had eaten some chocolate with chili in it today, to get the bite that I was in mood. I wanted to eat chocolate right away because I felt like chocolate would save my sanity right away.

Now that's the difference between instant gratification and reaping what had been planned for weeks if not months. I have issues with people wanting things now and they mean it..NOW, right away, immediately, at this minute if not earlier, yesterday, you get the idea. I observe how people would get frustrated when they are told that "the loveseat will not come in until next week", "it will take three-five months before you can see obvious changes in your body", or "It will take some days before we can get this part for your car so we can't do repairs now." I have seen people going ugly when they are told that there are things they HAVE to wait on. I feel that the society is over-depending on instant gratification. Fast food, you have it. Instant customer service, you have it. Kids wanting this or that, parents get those for them immediately. It is not the younger generation alone, I had seen people my age fretting if they don't get their Starbucks coffee right away!

It seems to me that some people have trouble understanding that setting up long goals, planning in the long run, it is very rewarding in itself. You can see how plans grow, domino-like, affecting oneself mentally, physically and emotionally. Putting money in a saving account for a goal of having a vacation in Ireland can be enriching in itself, knowing, that the money is growing and closer the vacation comes to reality. Seeing a child building a tree house by himself, without parents helping out, can help the child learn that if he does things himself, will increase his self-esteem and confidence in completing things. I had seen a friend putting pennies, dimes, quarters, and nickels in a huge bottle, saying that he wants to visit Germany. I thought "wow- a long way to go, it's impossible!" But she proved me wrong, after three years of saving all pennies, dimes, nickels and quarters, she had gone to Germany and had a wonderous trip there for three weeks. It is taking me two years to go through the mental health graduate program, with sweat, frustrations, tears, laughter and flares of temper, I am seeing how much I had gone through, and I am so much closer to my degree that I could actually 'feel' it in my hands. So, I would say that the longer the gratification is, more rewarding it is, compard to instant gratification. Don't you agree?

P.S.

Some friends say that they write a lot for their blogs and wonder why I don't write much. I have to admit that I don't write much because I had been told that some people are uncomfortable with what I write, exposing what "should be" hidden, and that there are people concerned that if I continue writing, it may endanger my chances as a future mental health therapist, on basis of confidentality and ethics. As it is, there are a lot of things I would like to write about, but I have to decide if I'm willing to take the risk of damaging the potential reputation that I would as a counselor later on, even if information is not related to therapy or counseling at all.
I hadn't yet decided if I will continue writing or stay on 'the surface' because I am still testing the water with my toe, trying to decide if I want to do a 'bomb-dive' or go into the murky water of risk, slowly a bit by bit. So we'll see.

So far, so good

2008-06-26T08:04:00.003-06:00

I'm doing well in graduate school, although a bit amused with teenagers here for 'summer camps' running around on campus (and pulling fire alarms- no difference between hearing and deaf kids when it comes to pulling fire alarms!) I'm officially a second-year graduate student, since I passed the quals (or if one prefers, comps), as I found out this week. I'm staying on campus due to attending practicum (full summer) and a class (A&O- and I have to admit- I LOVE it!) It just feels odd to me that the campus is almost empty, and so I get the sensation of being in the eye of a hurricane, waiting for things to slap me in the face sooner or later.

For the articles going on about cochlear implants and sign language, I'm staying out of it because I have to admit, I am not in mood for bashing for giving my personal opinion. I'd rather deal with that in person, so we can discuss it, putting all our cards out on the table, instead of arguing one piece by another piece.

I had gone to DC Pride two weekends ago, and I had a blast of fun there, meeting some nifty people, and getting two good leads on potential internships! I was thinking about how far we had gone in many years, in getting awareness of gay/lesbian community, available resources and supportive organizations. I did not even know that there is this organization "Out in the work" as in being openly gay/lesbian/bisexual/straight at work; Out in work, from what I understand, is a good resource for people having trouble at work, providing information about internships (I asked mostly about that.) I would have more information, but alas, I lost everything I gathered from that organization as well as other organizations (including stickers, buttons, magnets) at the subway on way home! *sigh* So I need to remind myself to check that organization online soon when I'm not distracted by class and practicum.

Soon, that class A&O will end, and so some of us are planning to go to Assateague Island, and Blue Mountains, a weekend each for camping. Boston, New York City and Philadelphia are on the list of sightseeing for historical stops and I gotta go back to Brooklyn for another taste of that deliciousmarvelous fudge cake at The Chocolate Room!

written by Jules

Cabs in NYC

2008-03-22T10:26:00.003-06:00

I gotta ask y'all something related to the taxis in New York City. Recently, I went to NYC for a weekend. I know I had a week for spring break, but dang it..assignments and papers for graduate classes. So, a weekend it was. Anyway- several times throughout the weekend, we tried to hail for a cab after exhausting walks/late night-not-want-to-use-subway-in-wee-hours. Once cabs realized we were deaf, they'd speed off. At the late hours of the first night in NYC, a cab stopped, I showed him the note with address and voiced, "Can you take us?" He looked at me and then sped off. When that happened, I shrugged it away "guess, he couldn't read the note." When it happened second time with a second cab, I went "hmmm.. another driver who can't read?" The third time was the charm, "WTF? They don't want to drive me around because I am deaf?!"
It wasn't unique- it happened on the second day, too and even the third day as well. A friend who lives in NYC, said it is not unique; that's when she'd try to get the cab driver's name and license to report him. (Although I do wonder how that could work if the cab driver flee before you get the full information?)
Have anyone else experienced this too?

A-to-Z story; Deaf storytelling.

2008-03-08T21:59:00.004-07:00

I went to "Deaf World Odyssey" a play, written/directed by Angela V. Farrand last Thursday with friends/classmate at Galluadet University. Due to growing up in the hearing world, I hadn't really understood much of Deaf culture, even when I was right smack in the Deaf world (working and studying among Deaf people) for years. This play helped so profoundly that at the end of the play, I had a better concept of what Deaf Culture is, with its language, its history, and its art. Especially the art of the wondrous culture! I had heard about A-to-Z and 1-10 stories but I never understood what they could look like. It is impossible to describe; one has to SEE stories in person or video to get an idea what ASL storytelling is! A classmate and I are working on creating an A-to-Z ASL story, using a ghost theme, and let me tell you, so much of fun doing practicing, using body language, facial expression and using letters to create visual art in the air, as telling the story. I am told that the play will go to other schools to help educate about Deaf culture, and I have to raise my hands in air to applaud the terrific idea! An excellent method of teaching majority of students, pulling them into the 'pool' of Deaf culture (smiling at the pun, since there is a boat in the play.) Sadly, it's just for this weekend on campus.
http://news.gallaudet.edu/?id=12853

How to help deaf children protect themselves from abuse.

2008-01-11T19:39:00.001-07:00

I just read another article- how many articles are there now- probably in thousands if not in millions- of a child dead by abuse. A lot of you know that I strongly encourage awareness of domestic violence and child abuse.

What I found of Child Abuse Statistics and it's very frightening and should be a concern to many. PER WEEK, child protective services agencies in US get over 50,000 reports of suspected child abuse or neglect. 67% of those reports had prompted an investigation, resulting in findings of children being victims of abuse or neglect which came up to average of 2450 children PER day. Do the math... 2450 children PER day for a year- that would be less than 90,000 a year.

Now- think about deaths of children by abuse. According to this site, " An average of nearly four children die every day as a result of child abuse or neglect (1,400 in 2002)." I shudder to think how many died last year (2007).

You know, I have been reading "Mental Health and Deafness" edited by Peter Hindley and Nick Hitson. There is a chapter there about physical and sexual abuse of deaf children. It says that in general, due to less/lack of communication/understanding between the deaf children and parents/caregivers, abuse have been 'silent'; in other words, limited education was given to children how to recognize abuse or how to protect themselves. Also, from the program "The Center for Abuse Prevention and Education for deaf/hard of hearing children" CAPE-DHH was set up after research showed, "The incidence of sexual abuse of deaf/hard of hearing children is estimated to be about 65% to 90% as compared to 10% for hearing boys and 25% for hearing girls."

Also from "Facts on Trauma and Deaf Children" one will find that children with communication disorders are more likely to be harmed/neglected compared to children without those disorders. Facts on Trauma and deaf Children

Not to despair- there IS help for deaf children if one looks. A lot of agencies that work with domestic violence survivors also have resources for children of child abuse and neglect. I found some agencies- there may be more out there that I don't know about. If one knows other agencies- feel free to add the info about them in the comments. DOVE in CO, Advocacy Council for Abused Deaf Children (Los Angeles, CA), Rochester, New York Advocacy Services for Abused Deaf Victims (NY), Oregon's Deaf and Hard of Hearing Services, Family & Children Services (San Jose,CA), Utah Community Center of Deaf and Hard of Hearing, and so on.

I found this site, in which I hope to order a copy. There is a DVD in sign language in which brave children tell of their experiences of physical or sexual abuse and the interventions to take them out of the danger. Here is the link, Kids against child abuse . The DVD title is "Do? Tell! Kids against child abuse" Kudos to Aetna Foundation Children’s Center, the Children’s Advocacy Center in Hartford, Connecticut!

Again- child abuse is not something to dismiss. It can happen anywhere. Keep it in mind that only a little percentage of predators are strangers; that means main numbers of predators/abusers are within the family (father, mother, sibling, aunt/uncle, grandparents, partners, cousins) and caregivers/school (teachers, busdrivers, teacher assistants, residental houseparents). I am not saying all this to scare you off; I am doing this to help you become aware of the risks that deaf children may encounter as they grow through their childhood. Let us preserve their childhood and innocence.

Samhain

2007-10-29T14:09:00.001-06:00

In two days, I will be able to celebrate Samhain, which in Celtic holidays, is a new year for us pagans. It is the most important holiday. That is when the gates between the world and the otherworld is weaker, and so we will have spirits, fey creatures and sprites coming out. This is when we put out dishes of food to respect the ancestors, to remember who had died and to find joy in honoring who we loved and will always love, hence trick-or-tricking originated from this practice.
"The pagan Samhain is not, and never was, associated with evil or negativity. It has always been a time to reaffirm our belief in the oneness of all spirits, and in our firm resolution that physical death is not the final act of existence. Though death is very much a part of Samhain's symbolism, this Sabbat also celebrates the triumph of life over death."
Jack o' lanterns came from when the ancient celts carved out turnips and so and put in lights, to put in 'new lights' to celebrate a new year and to keep 'evil' away.
Around this time, there would be pagans cooking wondrous feasts of pork, squashes, apples, pumpkins, nuts, all that of the late harvest.
Actually, Halloween is an American holiday developed around the time of Irish immigrants coming to the United States, fleeing the potato famine (the first wave in 1847.)
For people who are not sure or have misunderstanding about Halloween or Samhain:
FACTS:
1. There is no such as "Lord Samhain." That is from a movie. (gotta love Hollywood...not)
2. Male witches are called witches, not warlocks. Warlocks are traitors, betrayers, outcast out of covens.
3. Pagans do not kill black cats (or in other colors) or children. Heck, we have a lot of animals that we rescue or help raise to release back into wildlife.
4. We do not worship Satan; which is a Christian belief. For us to believe in that, we would have to be Christians. Think on that. We do love satin sheets, thro!
5. Whatever one may think of the movie, "Craft", nothing out of it is true except for that what one may cause, will experience it threefold back, according to the Wiccan way. (In other words, don't do evil or you'll have evil bite your ass off.) If one want to get hair color changed, get a hair dye. Different eye colors, get lenses.
6. Even thro that the Catholic Church tried to repress this Celtic holiday, it wasn't successful. They 'renamed' it Eve of All-Saints Day, to make the 'heathens' happy. It is one of the holiest days for Catholic Christians. 'Day of the Dead" as in Mexico is another example.

I hope you enjoyed learning something today. I am off to drum and drink some honey
mead!

(Artwork by Charles Vess)

New journey today and Homecoming at Gallaudet.

2007-10-21T17:33:00.001-06:00

I was looking for something different to do but hadn't decided how different.I just needed a break from Gallaudet University and all the hours of studying. My new motto is "Take breaks or you will break." Many people offered ideas such as the Native American Museum at the Mall, Georgetown tattoo parlors (unique 'til you find you don't have sufficient money to get a new one), this small-known garden behind the capitol where one can peer in to see the waterfall, and other ideas. I just wanted to do something that hadn't been published. Some people know my passion for labyrinths and so one suggested one in the Dupont Circle. I went "what labyrinth in Dupont circle?" Before I go on, I am sure, readers, you are asking "what is this word labyrinth??" It is a one-way path puzzle. A classical labyrinth looks like this:
It is very much a spiritual tool, when one wants to look inward to find where they are in the path of life. It can be used as a meditation tool. Both pagans and christians use it. There is even a Greek myth about it; Theseus went into the labyrinth to kill the minotaur, with Ariadne's assistance. There are older labyrinths about 5000 years. Several churches recognize that labyrinths are useful as located at Grace Cathedral (San Franciso), Notre-dame de Chartres Cathedral (France), Christ Church Labyrinth in Alexandria, VA and so on. I will include some links at the end of this article if you are interested.
Well, I looked alllll over the internet for this labyrinth in Dupont Circle and found NOTHING. A friend gave me directions to it and la da I found it today! Here are photos:

http://www.historicchristchurch.org/spirituality/labyrinth.htm
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Labyrinth
http://labyrinth-enterprises.com/12reasons.pdf

For people who are asking me how I am hanging in there at Gallaudet, thanks for checking on me! I am doing okay. Just tired these days, studying, doing projects due here and there, studying for exams coming up soon. Yeah, Homecoming was fun, thro there was a bomb threat at the football field (from what I understand, I could be wrong) and then a fire alarm at Hall Memorial Building (HMB) that sent alumni to SAC (Student Academic Center). I noticed it because I was getting out of SAC while alumni were pouring in, and I asked what was going on. An elderly lady latched to me and poured her frustrations on me (I wondered if I had my "counselor-in-training" t-shirt on..J/K) about the fire alarm and bomb threat. I could see why she was upset and an elderly man spoke up, "with all this, we don't need Gallaudet to look more worse than it is right now, so those guys who pulled the fire alarm or bomb threats need to grow up and think of consquences that makes Gallaudet looks bad." AMEN to what he said! It wasn't all bad news, the Gallaudet football team won the homecoming game against Williamson Trade, 40-26! So did the Bison women soccer vs. Gettysburg College team. I did get to see some friends that I didn't expect to see, almost 20 years last time I saw them- how much OLDER I feel!!!! So it was a nice weekend in all, the labyrinth walk and homecoming catch-up with old friends.

Gallaudet practicing Deafhood?

2007-10-02T22:25:00.000-06:00

The reason I ask this question is what I had seen since I came here in August and still see often if not daily is greatly disturbing me. Correct me if I'm wrong. I'd be happy to be told I'm wrong, trust me on this.. Deafhood values EVERYONE who are deaf, whether they wear cochlear implants, hearing aids, or none; speaks, signs, or uses both; being comfortable in both deaf and hearing worlds; being proud of being deaf yet NOT being hostile toward deaf people who are not involved in deaf community or aware of deaf culture; is all that correct? If not, clarify deafhood for me, please. There are some deaf students here that feel alienated even here on campus all because other deaf folks look down at them....all because those students grew up in mainstreamed programs (blame the parents, NOT the children), feel comfortable in the hearing world but willing to learn the deaf world, and they sign (believe it or not, I have met many deaf here that speak better than mainstreamed students here). Yet they are racked through the hot coals. You know that sign "hearing" to forehead, as in a negative perspective toward deaf people who are COMFORTABLE in the hearing world- how the hell can anyone want to join the Deaf community if the community itself REJECTS them? I had to hold a student while she was crying on my shoulder earlier today all because they were very cruel to her. I could expect it from undergraduate students, but from GRADUATE students? I would PRESUME that graduate students are more mature than this. I reminded her to remember that militant deaf are a few but they are louder than the quieter majority who accept everyone, from both deaf and hear families, who wear cochlear implants or hearing aids, who speaks or signs. She was encouraged to think- she might counsel future clients who may go through this very same experience, being rejected in the deaf community just because they LOOK hearing (and that's another issue I have with here, but I will not do it in this post). With this experience behind her, she can use this to strengthen her belief in herself and grow. I can't say the same for the ones who belittled her, or others who look down at ones who dare to speak, who wear cochlear implants, or are from hearing families. I have always have faith in the deaf community and the university but this incident had shaken my faith and I would LIKE to see that the faith be restored. I keep telling myself that there are MORE deaf folks out there that accept everyone as equal while seeing the student with tears running down her face. Convince me that there are folks out there that DO accept people like us equally.

**CLARIFICATION** Those are friends of mine. None of those are clients. I published this blog entry with friends' permission.

Just found out about A.G Bell in Colorado

2007-09-29T10:27:00.001-06:00

Reading some blogs on Deafread.com, I was startled to find that there is an A.G Bell conference in Colorado right now. Too bad I'm over here in Washington D.C, or I'd be marching around at the hotel. Harumph... I looked up who are sponsors or would be there at the conference, and I wasn't surprised to find Carson Elementary as well as Marion Downs Hearing Center on the conference information.
I was a student at Carson Elementary. Two things I'll say about Carson Elementary is: 1) they kept us SO sheltered, SO ignorant that we didn't even know about sign language, or existence of deaf culture; which led me to freak out when I was put in a manual program later, thinking the deaf signing students WEIRDOs when it was really me who was the freak. Sad, eh? And 2) despite not experiencing any kind of physical punishment as discussed by other people who tried to sign in oral programs, I had a lot of anxiety attacks because I'd never know when I'd be put up in the front of class to repeat and repeat saying the word over and over until I get it right and that was very humilating. I had met too many people who grew up from Caron Elementary to find that they are more comfortable using ASL, and pissed that they didn't find the Deaf culture until WAY LATER. I DO understand that the school thinks it is best for deaf children to be involved in the hearing world, but on the other hand, to tell us, "it's your fault if you don't speak or hear. your parents don't do good work, you, you, you, yours, yours," not taking responsbility on THEMSELVES; the teachers, the speech therapists, the audiologist in the school. I had seen too many students disappear from school, and have the teachers tell us "see, if you don't do good, you're out of here." Wait a frigging minute! If that is how they imply it, I'd RATHER go somewhere where we can be a team, instead of a group vs one, ..Oh wait. I already left.

Slang, secret words

2007-09-21T10:43:00.001-06:00

I know there is so many slangs and code words that one need to catch up on! While on facebook, there is this nifty "Superpoke" application where I can "checkmate," "slap," "trout slap"..waitaminute...WHAT the hell is "trout slap!?" So, after I bugged a friend in defining some of those 'code words', he found me this nifty site. So I thought you can all learn and know what people talk about (and even catch them if they try to call you something and you'd KNOW what it means, instead of going "huh?") Here is the site, urbandictionary.

Thanks, Adam!

Nice surprise at Starbucks!

2007-09-12T06:04:00.000-06:00

Mind you, I hadn't even gotten a sip of my coffee (must have coffee in morning or I'd be a goblin, mind you, not nice like those ones in "Lords of the Ring" movies) when I thought I recognized someone. So after he got his coffee, (nice to know I'm not the only one in wee hours of morning, needing coffee to wake up) I waved to get his attention and asked, "Are you Gary Brooks"? Yup, it is him! After we chatted for a bit, I have to say that he's such a wonderful guy to talk with! In his part, I have to say that he is an excellent advocate when it comes to speaking up. If he isn't afraid to speak up, neither should anyone else! I agree with him that the students ought to stand up and speak up for themselves (and others) if they have issues with professors' opinions or views as well as issues in general (like gay-religious contervsary for one example.) I realize that it is very much an issue that is common in the Deaf community when one thinks about it. There are passive individuals and assertive individuals but passive people are common when you think about it(if you ADMIT it) Blame it on being raised mostly dependent on others and not having enough self-esteem and confidence in oneself. I still remember last night when there was a meeting and two students wouldn't speak up for themselves that they needed to sit closer to see (visual problems). I spoke up, "they need to sit closer" and encouraged other students to move back, so those students could sit front. I hope the students can learn if -I- can speak up, so can they! And so can anyone in the Deaf community. No one should be AFRAID to stand up and say "wait a minute. What's wrong with this picture? Let's talk about it!"

I am honest to acknowledge that I am somewhat hesistant to speak up because I hadn't yet learned how to intepret whether it is constructive criticism or something to take personally, basically. After talking with him, I am starting to have some thinking about how I approach issues and how I bring issues up for the public to discuss (or argue) about. Perhaps I should look into taking public speeching or acting, to confront my anxiety about speaking up in public (and on the blog as well) A good time to think about, especially with me being in graduate school here! Wonderful, thought-invoking talk, Gary!

Several things I learned so far at Gallaudet

2007-09-06T18:17:00.001-06:00

It has been three weeks now (ALREADY??!!) since I came here to Gallaudet University as a graduate student for the mental health graduate program. *****Whew***** Before I came here, I thought I was well prepared. How little I know! Here are ten items I found out, or learned from other fellow graduates.

10. Even when the car was packed to the ceiling, I didn't get to fill every single drawer or the closet. That tells me either I have a SMALL car or they know how much stuff students bring to dorms so they have those LARGE drawers and closets.

9. 'TME' means "Too many eyes" especially when you don't want anyone else to see what you're talking about, in the cafeteria (gossiping in other words.)

8. One television in each lounge isn't EVEN enough. (Especially for students who hadn't brought a TV.)

7. Better find a roommate immediately if the other is watching television all the night and you need your beauty sleep. Don't expect that it'd stop after you ASK him/her to stop that!

6. When you think you have an handle on your studying (rolling on floor laughing), think again. As it is, I had lost count of what chapters I need to read in which books for which classes on which days due for which assignments.... and trying to catch up. (Thank gods for the schedulebook/planner!) *note for future students: GET a damned planner!*

5. If you don't know what you're talking about in class, you're in trouble and the professors know it. In other words, READ. READ what is required and know what to talk about. Copying other students' comments are NOT so cool.

4. It's pretty nifty to see everyone sign where you look; however it's distracting esp if you are seeing someone telling a FANTASTIC story and not watching where you walk. So far I had bumped into two students and one staff. More than that, one could give me the nickname "Bumper Fender."

3. Even with two microwave cookbooks, I'm already tired of microwave food. The cafeteria food isn't so bad but... ::waving hands as in "you-know-what-I-mean":::::

2. You DO pick up on ASL. In just two weeks (really, three), my signing had been changing from PSE to ASL (as I noticed as a friend and I reviewed the video she took of me.) Good to pick up on signs in a deaf environment!

1. STUDY. There's several graduate students going out partying or hanging out so I even wonder when they EVER get to study or read books for classes! Yup, I do go out but not EVERY NIGHT. Make time to put your nose in the books! It's GRADUATE SCHOOL, you know!

Sherrilyn Kenyon!!!!

2007-08-12T20:23:00.000-06:00

I'm still rechecking the book "Devil May Cry" over and over to look at the writing/signing that Sherrilyn Kenyon did for me. It was wonderful to see her at the Borders the bookstore, and it was MUCH better with an interpreter. I cannot stress how much the staff helped ensure that I could have access at the reading and also at the signing. Stacy of Borders (at 104th and I-25 here in Northglenn) was very helpful. They reserved two chairs for me and the interpreter(Val in the white dress in one photo), and ensured that the interpreter would have a spot to sign while Sherrilyn Kenyon spoke and did a questions-and-answers section. At no point, did I feel left out. Sherrilyn Kenyon did look at me when she realized that I was deaf and so we talked a bit about sign language; that she couldn't sign much due to her hand being broken in the past. I did tell her that if she ever comes to DC, I'd be too happy to teach her sign language! I hope that bookstores can read this and realize how accessible (and simple)it can be for deaf readers/customers to participate in any signing/readings of amazing authors. Heck, even during the reading of tickets on who'd win stuff, the interpreter notified them of my number, and even when I went to the coffee section to get away from crowds (I confess, I feel uneasy in crowds), the wonderful assistant went down to give me a poster I won! They didn't HAVE to, but they did.

I cannot stress hard enough how I REALLY appreciated being an active participant in this event thatI will never forget! Here is the photos!

Shared Reading Project

2007-08-01T23:41:00.000-06:00

As I said it in a comment at one blog tonight, there IS a program where hearing parents can interact with their deaf children and it will also help literacy. So I thought, why not write about it here on my blog? So... this program is provided by Laurent Clerc National Deaf Education Center at Gallaudet University- It's called Shared Reading Project. How it works is that mentors who are usually deaf and know ASL, will be sent to work with hearing families once a week or two. The goal for the mentors are to use children books, and teach parents how to sign from the books that would attract the deaf child, helping the deaf child developing the connection between printed word and sign..and ta da, we have LITERACY. It also will help the family develop a closer relationship with the deaf child(ren) as well. Here is the link:

http://clerccenter.gallaudet.edu/Literacy/srp/index.html

It's not limited to Washington DC. It is at many states from what I understand, including Colorado where I found out about this program.

Another idea for hearing parents on interacting with their deaf children.

"That They Shall speak"

2007-07-29T19:55:00.000-06:00

A relative found this among junk in her attic and thought I'd want it back. I was puzzled since I never saw this before, a yellowed poster. So I unrolled it and went *gasp!* I tried to get more information about this, where this was developed and what organization this was to represent but the family relatives clammed up. Keep it in mind, no one in the family WANTS to talk about the "failure." The failure as they see is the years and years of speech therapy, hearing aids, intensive tests and experimental surgery, etc yet I chose to sign in the end. So... I can't really blame 'em for feeling bitter, you know? I took photos of this poster with my SK2 so it's not in great shape. I'll spell out what the words are presented:

"Communication..... The One Priceless Gift
Coordinated program to meet physical, social, and emotional needs

..... That they shall speak."

Yeah, you see right, that kid is ME...as four or five years old, more than 30 years ago. When I realized it was ME, I asked myself, "And I was a spokesperson (child) for THIS organization that tells everyone that I can speak?" :::palm slapping my forehead:::

Another flashback

2007-07-29T19:43:00.000-06:00

Today, reading about the demonstration at AGB convention, the comments left in several blogs, I had another flashback. *again?* Not this time about deaf children. It was about two deaf adults I know personally. One friend and one relative. Both ‘hard of hearing’ (they said so) with hearing aids and CI. Names had been changed to protect their identities, so I respect their privacy.

I would LOVE to get to know my second cousin, Christine- I do. But sometimes I wonder if family relatives have manipulated her against me, in fear of any “potential bad influence from me due to being “DEAF.” You see, she fell ill as a very young child and became deaf. I didn’t even know about her until I met her at a family reunion. I was then seventeen and she was eleven. Even at that meeting, once we met in person, there were adults hovering around and once I would raise my hands to sign, they would either herd Christine away or tell me “TALK with your voice! Not your hands!” I did notice that she was very curious about my signing but we never got a chance to communicate together without anyone interfering.
Next time we got together, it was this May. I was invited to her bridal shower. I was even surprised that she would remember me. I think it was because I was in California at that time and I was visiting my aunt who was also her aunt, so to invite her without me would be a RUDE move. So….. I was invited. I went, and I then noticed that she had a CI. She speaks but how good, I don’t know. I did notice she didn’t speak much as her mother and fiancé. This time I didn’t sign because I didn’t want to make a scene. I was afraid that if I start to sign and anyone slaps or shoves on my hands, I WOULD make a scene, so I kept mute. When we finally hugged each other, I was surprised when she signed rusty, “Good to see you!” Her mother actually looked like she just ate something bad! Before the end of the bridal shower, Christine slipped a paper note into my hands. After I got into the car, I looked and it was an email address and note, “Please email me! I want to know you. I would like to know about what it is like to be deaf.”

At this time, I hadn’t yet emailed her. I honestly don’t know what to say. How can one describe being deaf in printed WORDS? How can one explain what it’s like to be deaf? There are so many different perceptions and my perception is only one. Sure I could refer her to vlogs but from that rusty signing, I would suspect she wouldn’t catch even 30% of what someone signs. There is very few blogs out that that *really* describes being deaf, if you get my meaning. I could suggest some books, but if her mother and fiancé had those looks, I wouldn’t want her to get in trouble as well. I DON’T want to be furthermore alienated from family as I am already because I refuse to speak or hear.

About 10-15 years ago, I was living in New Jersey. A friend of mine and I were invited to an annual award ceremony for another deaf friend and so we agreed to go. “Bobby” and I went to this old school, and everyone was speaking. I was experiencing unease because I thought I saw a poster welcoming visitors to NJ AGB meeting. I went “Alexander Graham Bell organization?” and I found myself curious. I had heard a lot about AGBAD but never had attended any kind of meetings or truly interacted with people that are involved in AGB. I found that most of the folks attending the award meeting that day were mostly parents and their children in ages of kindergarten to post-college.

My friend, Wayne was to receive an award for being successful, having a B.A degree and accomplishing a job as a manager in business. Bobby told me before we got into the building “don’t sign- they aren’t comfortable with anyone signing.” I shot back, “how then do I talk?’ How do I communicate?” with a disgusted look. Okay, I CAN speak and lip-read, but not that great. In other words, I could speak and lip-read great among my family but with the public, forget it. I can understand “How are you?” “Can I help you?” “Need gas?” common comments out there. Bobby gave me this pleading look and so I said “okay, I’ll just keep quiet. It’s Wayne’s day.”

After the award ceremony, I had a bitter taste in my mouth. Why? I felt it was all smoke and mirrors. It was very much “SEE! PROOF THAT DEAF ADULTS CAN SPEAK AND HEAR LIKE US!” Never mind that there was only ONE deaf adult at that award ceremony. There were many children there at the meeting, and I was thinking “when they get to his age, how many will be at the award ceremony to show that “deaf children can become hearing”? Maybe one or two. I looked at Wayne and I felt both pride and sympathy for him. Why pride? Despite all this obstacles thrown into his way (speech therapy, learning to identify sounds, fighting to be like hearing to please society, he managed to get a BA degree in business.) Sympathy because he was very alone. He didn’t have many friends. He was basically a loner, not knowing where he belongs. When he signs, he always has this uneasy look as if someone’s jump out of the closest and go “AH! YOU SIGN! NO! NO! THAT’S WRONG! BAD BOY” When he speaks, he looks uneasy as well, unsure if he was speaking clearly or not. So you can see.. I feel proud and sorry for him. I remember when he was invited to Six Flag for Deaf Awareness Day, he accepted with delight. You could see his face lighting up. However when we got there, he would feel awkward, not knowing what to do. He stayed close to me and Bobby while watching other deaf groups chatting. I could see envy in his eyes; couldn’t anyone see that he would LIKE to be treated equally for who he is, not someone that is expected to be someone else by society?

So, knowing those adults who had been influenced by John Tracy Clinic, AGBAD, speech therapists, “professionals” who claims they know what deaf children need, and the hostile environment around them, I am actually curious about the children with cochlear implants these days now. How many children would be curious about the deaf community but afraid to ask or learn because of the people around them? How many children would become adults being awarded for being “successful” but truly alone?

Positive Exposure

2007-07-26T16:15:00.000-06:00

Reading several blogs about ASL vs AGB, I couldn't help remembering two unique encounters I had with children with CIs.

There was a cute little girl, a friend and I met at a candy store last year as well as a toddler boy 6 at an airport six years ago. I need to point out the differenes of those encounters. There were children with CIs, true and they are raised by parents who hope for the best for their children. Who can really blame them? It is the parents how the child is rasied, and frankly, we cannot force them "because we say so!" One suggestion is: be present in public, be accessible, and be willing to meet them in the middle way. I will expand on that.

Six years ago, I was at an airport during a stopover, taking it easy in the waiting area. I was watching an haggled mother with two very young boys coming up and sitting across from me. The children obviously looked cranky. Who'd really blame the mother for being befrazzled herself, especially in a busy airport (O'Hara) AND two 3-4 years old boys by herself. Anyway, I suddenly spotted that part of CI on one boy's side of his head, at the same time I noticed the mother trying to tell the very same boy to sit down repeatedly with her voice. The other boy was already sitting down and playing with his car toy. The deaf boy was looking around,I'd say, relying on his visual reception. I winced then when the mother grabbed the boy by the arm and shoved him onto a row chair. The boy was starting to wiggle out of the chair while the mother was looking into her bag. I discreetly signed "sit, stay" with a smile. The boy saw that and sat back in the chair, and started at me
with a mesmerized look. "Airplane there. Look" I signed more then stopped. I couldn't sign more because I didn't know how the mother could react, esp with that befrazzled mood she was in. I had always wondered about that boy now and then. I wondered if he would remember a woman who signed, among the distracting noises and sounds that might be very unrecognizeable. (especially in the airport.)

Very unlike the other encounter with a little girl with a CI last year. I took a friend visiting from out of state, to Boulder. We walked the 16th Street area; such a beautiful area to visit and shops to see. We stopped by Rocky Mountains Chocolates, to see what fudge and candies they have. We were chatting when we noticed a little girl (about 6-7 years old) watching us. We paid no attention until her father actually came up to us and attempted to sign. I was pleasantly surprised, more so when he said "my daughter has a CI. We are teaching her how to speak AND sign" I looked at the girl and sure enuff, she has a CI under the long hair. She looked as if it was the first time for her to see deaf adults signing. I introduced myself and my friend by signing and speaking at same time and the father looked delighted and for some reasons unknown to me, relieved. My friend asked him how he is signing. I think he was thinking why the parent was signing when children with CIs tend to be taught how to speak and hear. The father said that the family wants the girl to know BOTH the worlds, the best offered from each world. What he said next, stunned me. I hope, readers, you'd remember this:

"You are the first deaf adults we have seen in public."

And that made me realize he probably is right. I haven't seen much deaf folks out in public either myself. How CAN we expect the world to know about the deaf community if we stay home, go to deaf events only and not go out much in public? Maybe there have been deaf people out shopping, eating, enjoying events or activities but I haven't SEEN them sign. It made me wonder a while, as the friend and I talked more with the father and the girl; we spoke about having jobs as a teacher and a counselor, attending universities, the love of books. The father told the girl, "see, they love to read like you!" How can the girl learn about the deaf world if there isn't much deaf folks to socialize? Hell, *I* hadn't seen my first
deaf adult until I was seventeen!

The friend and I went home and talked about that over coffee- yeah, coffee at 2am, very smart, yeah right! We both agree that it would be nice for deaf people to be seen in public. It helped that he and I love to go out and have fun, sightseeing, eating at resturants, checking museums out, etc. I have seen children and adults both watching me and friends signing in public. So what? That's positive EXPOSURE, let the public know about us. I emailed some friends and asked them if they go out and if not, why not? Main reason, I was told, is because they dislike to be watched or treated as freaks. I can SEE their point of view, but on the other hand, HOW CAN THE PUBLIC LEARN HOW TO INTERACT WITH US IF THEY DON'T GET PRACTICE OR EXPOSURE?

I could then understand the reactions of the father of the daughter with CI; to him, WE were the mysterious myth; one would never know when to catch sight of us in person. How can the children know about us if WE aren't out in public much? Sure, the parents "could take them to deaf events" but if parents are uncomfortable in numbers of deaf people (think this way, how many of you would feel awkward showing up at a convention for Little People for one example?), who'd really blame them? One or two deaf adults and children would be more approachable at a time. Keep it in mind, I applaud the father for being willing to teach his daughter both the worlds and trusting that she will still love her hearing family in 15-20 years.

On the other hand, the restless toddler. However I CANNOT presume that the mother is cruel to her son all the time. It may be that she was by herself, having TWO toddlers AND at a busy airport; who'd really blame her for being a bit testy? CAN you say the same if you had two kindergaten-aged kids at a busy airport by yourself? Perhaps being a very young child AND being in a noisy airport, how could he pay attention to the speaking mother? I don't know if the child was having speech therapy, or if his device was even turned on. Who knows? So, I'd rather refrain from making a judgemental call.

The bottom line, from my view, is we need to go out much in public as possible. Let us BE visual to the public daily, not at deaf events only. Don't be afraid to sign in public. If some folks gawk, let them. They gawk at the Amish too! In response, the Amish community ignore them with dignity and interact with the public when asked about their practices, food, activities. That's POSTIVE exposure. It caused the public to pay more attention to them and to respect them much better because they weren't "private" (considering to the public.) So we need to be public without shoving it down people's throats. Anyone have a public relations guy who can speak up for Deafhood and the deaf community? That's not even easier especially with folks arguing so many issues (CIs, AVT, ASL, schools for deaf vs mainstreamed programs, hearing parents vs deaf parents, etc.) So just being public and accessible would be MORE helpful, in my opinion, for hearing parents to approach us without us shouting and waving signs "Audism kills" or "Speech Therapy is Abuse." You know? Use positive exposure.

Perils of interpreters through family!

2007-07-18T11:39:00.000-06:00

I want to talk about two incidents I went through. They may be considered hilarious, sad or frustrating, depending on your interpretation! Take your pick!

It was more than fifteen years ago when my grandpa died of heart complications. I was relieved when the family said, "don't worry. We got an interpreter for the memorial\funeral." Whewww! At the church, I was waiting for the memorial's start. Mother rushed up to me with a stranger in which she introduced, "This is Lisa, who will interpret." (It isn't her real name, I don't remember anymore.) The memorial was to start in a few minutes. Lisa and I sized each other up and I signed, "hello. How are you?" She went "slow-slow!" Uh oh..... Red flag!

I then voiced as I signed, "Do-you-know-how-to-sign?" She brightened up and said, "yes, I am learning how to sign! I interpret at a church!" Another red flag. I grimaced mentally while smiling at her politely. I knew if I made a scene, the family'd NEVER let me live it down, especially on the day of the family pateriach's funeral! Oh joy...... During the memorial, the 'interpreter' signed much as she can, with a LOT of fingerspelling that caused exhaustion for me, trying to figure what she was saying! Another red flag....

It was a cousin behind me who felt sorry that he gave me a written transcript, oh THANK YOU!!! I remember when the minister was leading in prayers when the interpreter signed something I NEVER had ever SEEN in my life and I'd hope I'd never see again! Thankfully I am somewhat a good lipreader so I know what she was saying with that sign. This sign goes this way (sorry, I don't even have high-speed so I can't do a vlog): a stabbing on one hand, then stabbing on another hand forcefully! She said "Jesus Christ" and I was wincing at the visual, violent stabbing of hands......OUCH. I decided not to go for the burial memorial because I didn't want more "scenes" by this interpreter. I managed to convince the interpreter that I am fine by myself so she'd go away. After cousins came back from the burial memorial, most said, "did you even understand her? I didn't!" I said, "neither did I except for that sign...." And someone said "that I understand right, she meant crufication of Jesus Christ? We didn't talk about it at the memorial!" Some older relatives overheard and told mother. Naturally she said to me, "you should have told me!" I said, "oh yeah, right as the memorial started?" with a sarcastic expression.

Three years ago, my other grandpa was killed by a truck. So I went for the memorial\funeral. Before I went, I said to family, "I want a certificated interpreter. Not someone who is just learning to sign!" So I was reassured that it won't happen again. Harumph.... I'll believe that when I see it!

We went to the church. A young woman was already waving at me. (Guess someone told her it was me before I got through the door.) She introduced herself, and I thought, "hmmmm, not so bad."
I signed and then she said, "can you use your voice too? I don't know those signs." I was like "........ Not again" mentally. I voiced as I signed bluntly, "where do you sign? Do you interpret? Do you work with deaf? How did you know about this memorial?" What she signed, I then immediately knew..... SEE! Signed Exact English. I hadn't seen SEE for two decades! She explained she works with deaf children, for an oral program with SEE if absolutely necessary. She is the next door neighbor's son's girlfriend's cousin..... Figures. Of course, I only caught 20% of what she signed and I was pissed.

After the memorial, I was asked if I wanted to go to the burial, and I said no thanks. I convinced this 'interpreter' to go (didn't I do this before?) A few minutes later, before mother and family left, she wanted to introduce me to a nurse that worked with an ill uncle. The nurse signed! BEAUTIFUL ASL, very native-signing! I was like "WTF! I could have had her for interpreting!" The nurse said that she did offer, but they felt the young woman needed the pay and to be close to her boyfriend, the next door neighbor's son who came to the funeral.... I couldn't decide whether to cry or laugh hysterically.

I learned three things from those:
1) find certificated interpreting services and have family stick to that for funerals (and weddings);
2) be firm with family, don't go for "next door neighbor\third cousin\friend's friend's friend\grandniece's daughter's" interpreters, no matter how cheap they are!
And
3) SEE and ASL aren't the same, ladies and gentlemen!

What do Victim Advocates do?

2007-06-29T00:33:00.001-06:00

What do Victim Advocates (VAs) do, especially for agencies working with deaf victims of domestic violence and sexual assault? I thought to give you an unique perception into what one can experience. I had been a VA in the past and I thought, "why not let people know what it's like, and maybe there'd be more volunteers for the agencies?" That'd be wonderful!

Mind you, I will not tell you where I volunteered, where the agency was located at, nor giving you identificating characteristics of who I worked with (both staff and victims.) This is for the purpose of protecting the agency's staff and volunteers as well as the victims they work with. Also, keep it in mind that each volunteer advocate will encounter a variety of experiences, none alike. For one VA, it may be a quiet week with some calls asking for information about services for deaf children living in a shelter. Another VA may encounter a challenging time of working with a victim who escaped from an abusive husband, and may remind the cops to get an interpreter for the interview. One other VA could go with another VA to a hospital to give support for a college student who experienced a date rape. At the office, a VA may be busy talking with a victim about making a safe plan. You see?

Now I would like to give you some of some VA's as well as my experiences; both devasting and rewarding.
Usually there are two-three VAs on call every week or other week. Yes there is agency staff and supervisor but hey, they need their sleep and a break. Do you truly expect them to be available 24/7/365? If so, they'd be dead on their feet! Hence, that's why there are volunteer advocates! It could be busy sometimes and quiet other times.

One time there was a call into requesting information about activities for deaf children living with a mother in a shelter, since they were isolated and want to play with other deaf children as well as getting an intpreter for the parent at group support. The shelter was provided information such as after-school programs, weekend camping and children workshops. There were good feelings, knowing that that shelter really cared for the children and the mother enough to ask for help and be willing to go out of their way to give extra support!

Another time, a self-esteem workshop for survivors of domestic violence was provided. That workshop's goals were to give the survivors tools to build up their self-esteem that had been serevely damaged by the abusive spouse. Learning to look inward, to recognize symptoms of degrading behaviors that can harm self-esteem, practicing how to say "no" without feeling guilty, and also learning to laugh and enjoy themeselves are very valuable tools! Seeing the survivors with hope and a spark growing in their eyes, as they leave the workshop can leave the instructor feel she did her job!

One night, there was a call from an hospital for a sexual assult. I came to find that there was a deaf female who experienced a sexual assault. I was surprised to find that there was no interpreter at the police interview. I reminded the hospital staff that the victim had the right to an interpreter and so they got one right away. I talked with the victim and it helped her profoundly knowing that there was a deaf victim advocate, able to talk with her in HER language (ASL) and to give empathy with her as she wasn't able to get from police and hospital. With that interpreter there, the victim was more able to participate in what was necessary in gathering evidence from that sexual assault, so they can prove in court that the person who sexually abused her, was indeed the predator! I empowered her by telling her often it's HER decision on what's going to happen to her body, HER decision on who can stay in the room with her or not, HER decision on if she wants to press charges, no one else cannot tell her otherwise! More she got to understand what happened, I encouraged the victim to consider a second interview with the police with an interpreter if she felt comfortable. She went home, feeling much better knowing she have support from this agency and can expect furthermore support about legal and medical advocacy as well as counseling if necessary.

One other day, research was done on local services available to the agency; setting up networking with other agencies and services, such as food stamps, shelters, food banks, clothes banks; Each organization was checked upon whether they had access to a TDD and if they are willing to work with this non-profit organization working with deaf women and children.

Another time, training was provided to the local sheriff and staff on how to work with deaf individuals,such as learning how to use a TDD and how to accept VRS or HOVRS calls; learning basic signs such as "help you?" "need interpreter?" or "calm down"; and how to interact with deaf victims such as eye contact and asking them how they prefer to communicate.

So as you can see, there are a variety of experiences and encounters. Never the same for each victim advocate. Like I said, it can be quiet for some victim advocates... Hell, I'd have to be honest with you and say that not many VAs would get the call to a location where police called for help working with deaf victim who just got beaten up by an abusive spouse! It's rare that one would get a call to a hospital for a deaf victim! It's very much quiet most of the time, but it's also good to be prepared! I enjoyed working as a volunteer victim advocate. What lessons I learned from volunteer will help me profoundly when I become a mental health counselor. Oh! Before I go on, there are a variety of people who volunteer! Some can be teachers, some can be self-employed, some can be mechanics, some can be college students. So volunteer advocates are not required to be in mental health or social work professions. As long as they are able to empathize with the victim, be willing to help out and be available. Knowledge in deaf culture and ASL is very important, however we do work with hard-of-hearing and deaf/blind victims as well.

Before I finish this article, I would stress that working as a victim advocate can be rewarding; we give the victims HOPE and MOTIVATION.

Child Abuse? Part 2

2007-06-03T20:59:00.000-06:00

Part 2:

I have encountered a deaf woman that I will never forget; she used her SSI to buy cigarettes, drugs and comic books, while neglecting her 4 children. I had seen her house and what it’s like inside. It’s very much a dump, with dirty clothes here and there in piles, cats using them as litter boxes. Cigarette butts all over the coffee table, floor and everything that could hold an ashtray or a dirty plate. I had to take away a cig butt from the 4-year old boy who was puffing on it. I caught the 9 year old boy going through my purse and was pocketing a twenty when I busted him. I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was hungry. I took the children out and got them something to eat. They ate so quickly as if they were afraid that the food would be taken from them. What was I supposed to do? I called human services and they sent a social worker. But guess what? The parent managed to keep her children. The social worker DID NOT BRING AN ASL INTERPRETER and hence the judge said due to THAT, they cannot take the children from the mother. OY VEY!!! I told human service to BRING an interpreter and they didn’t heed me! It took the next-door neighbor to report the mother and the children, AND THEN the social worker brought an interpreter. At this time, the children are taken care of by a relative. The mother can only see her children under supervision of the social worker. From what I understand, she will never get them back because she made no effort to attend parenting and drug recovery classes. She does not show up for the supervised visits much.

I am sorry but this issue is important for everyone, not just you or me. EVERYONE. Too often there are fuck-ups with human services and social work when it comes to deaf children experiencing abuse or deaf parents abusing their children. (Mind you, I’m NOT saying that *all* deaf parents are abusive or that *all* deaf children experience abuse.) According to the report I found, “Facts on Trauma and Deaf Children” from NCTSN (The National Child Traumatic Stress Network), there are statistical information about what deaf children may encounter: (more facts in report but I chose three for the entry.)

1) Deaf children are more vulnerable to neglect, emotional, physical and sexual abuse than children in the general population.

2) 50% of deaf girls have been sexually abused as compared to 25% of hearing girls.

3) 54% of deaf boys have been sexually abused as compared to 10% of hearing boys.

Why is that? The barriers concurring to the report: (there are more barriers in the report but I chose three most likely.)

1) Difficulty in teaching deaf children about safety.

2) Assumptions by perpetrators that deaf children are less able to report abuse.

3) Less understanding of the limitations of healthy/safe touching.

You see? I cannot identify the agency or deaf clients that I worked with but I can tell you that 80% of the clients experienced sexual or physical abuse as children. One client told me that he was forced by fellow students to perform certain sexual activities in a residental school and the house counselor knew about it but took no action. That house counselor JOINED sometimes. Another client said that as a child, she learned to show how she loves people; she’d sit on their laps and play with herself. (I changed behaviors to protect her identify.) As an adult, she had to learn from counselors that that she was abused sexually. I can speak from personal experience, when I was sexually abused, I didn’t know it was WRONG. No one told me about saying no and that touching in private areas was not permitted and that I could report to a trusted adult. It was later on when I was a teenager when I learned about sexual abuse brought up in a social studies class. I broke down and cried. I felt horrible but at the same time, relieved knowing that it wasn’t MY FAULT. Now I could tell someone and I did but not at that time of my life. It took 20 years later for me to open up and tell someone. At that point, I found then that there is NO status of limitation on when child abusers/molesters can be arrested in the state I reside in. I gave the information of who the person was and fortunately for me, her past address. After the agency did research, I was told that she was killed in an automobile accident long ago. All I can hope is that she is suffering in hell. ‘Nuff to say.

What solutions, one may ask, could be offered to protect children AND ensure that it is child abuse truly? Good question… The report by NCTSN have some suggestions for counselors as in providing certified interpreters, reviewing background (educational background and school setting), supports as well as having consultants who know deaf culture and deaf norms. The writers acknowledge “although the ideal best practice for serving the Deaf community involves specialized service interventions that are staffed by sign-fluent and/or Deaf clinicians, the current reality in many communities is that these types of programs are often unavailable.” For schools, I would suggest, as according to some clients who experienced sexual abuse in school; have teachers learn about sexual abuse AND teach the students about boundaries and reporting any kind of abuse to trusted adults, as well as having teachers, staff and drivers be checked for criminal records in the state they reside as well as in other states. Gods know there are a number of teachers (as reported in news) that would move to other states to teach even after they get reported as a child molester in the original state. I got some silver strands in my hair after I read that. Parents would need to be responsible as well, teaching their children. Just don’t be overprotective! An anxiety-ridden friend of mine stressed over, OVER and OVER that if anyone touches or talk to her daughter, that girl was to tell her. Many times the friend complains to me that the girl cries every time someone just pats her head, or she’d scream bloodletting if an old lady bends down to say “you’re cute!”

Why I’m bringing child abuse up? It is because I see those articles about CI and I was thinking “okay, CI could be considered child abuse, granted but sexual and physical abuse is MORE common.” There’s not enough articles about sexual and physical abuse among deaf children. There is one report online as I said, from NCTSN (www.NCTSNet.org) and some articles written in journals such as Journal of Sexuality and Disability, Journal of Deaf Studies and Deaf Education, and American Annals of the Deaf . Not much for resources, why is that? “Speak no evil, see no evil and hear no evil” and “Don’t ask, don’t tell” comes to my mind. When it comes to CI implants for children, I’m not crazy about that idea. I’m honest about that, but honestly….. To call it child abuse? You have ABSOLUTELY no idea. That’s damn overuse of the term “child abuse.” To MY interpretation, it is not child abuse. It is IGNORANCE. The parents of deaf children are IGNORANT about the Deaf community and what it can offer to the deaf child The medical administration and education division ENCOURAGE the parents to depend on their “truths.” Who do the parents see when they find out the child is deaf? The doctors are right there here and now to give all options to the parents. Where is the deaf representative to speak up for the deaf community? Nowhere. How would the hearing parents KNOW about the deaf community? You tell me that. Very few have access to the community if any, and so it’s ignorance, not child abuse. It’d be NICE if the hearing parents would have access to resources like internet and deaf organizations- but sadly, that’s not enough. NOT enough.

So, to end this, please stop using the term “child abuse” when it comes to cochlear implants for children. Ignorance is more appropiate in my opinion. If you really want to help pervent child abuse, support human services and deaf organizations that need to have better access and resources to protect deaf children from REAL child abuse.

Child Abuse? Part 1

2007-06-03T20:48:00.000-06:00

I realize that I may have stepped on a fireant hill by writing this article but I HAD TO. I wrote it a "tad too long" so I'm going to break it into two pieces. It is about child abuse in the deaf community. I wrote about it because of the issue of considering CIs for children as "child abuse." You're welcome to disagree with me; you have that right. Here we go.

Reading articles in newspapers and magazines and watching news on television yesterday, I was thinking, ‘Damn, is it me or are there an increase in child abuse (physical and/or sexual)?” There was a teacher sentenced to jail for molesting an 11 year old student. Also there was news about parents taken to trial for starving their 9-year old daughter. Foster parents putting their developmentally disabled children in cages. You get the idea. AND then reading entries by bloggers on Deafread about the hot topic of CI for children. I talked with two friends about the topic of child abuse today at lunch. We brought up three theories. Mind you, they are NOT facts, just theories we created.

A) Media pay more attention to reports of child abuse hence news. “MOM JAILED FOR HOMICIDE OF 4 CHILDREN” would get the reporter’s name noticed as well as the issue, than an article about pollution of a local river, methinks.

B) Child abuse is easier to recognize now. In other words, teachers, police, social workers, neighbors and relatives have sharper eyes than before, due to media that reports on child abuse and working with organizations that protect children.

C) Family issues weren’t much talked about in the past generations. Too many adults tell me that they didn’t talk to anyone else about the physical or sexual abuse they received from parents, siblings, relatives or caretakers not related to them. Why not? If no one talked about it, what were the children in 50’s to 80’s supposed to think? “We don’t talk about it, so you cannot bring it up.” is the main interpretation. Hence- now we have television commercials about child abuse as well as teachers and social workers talking with children “if anyone touch you without your permission, tell him NO. Inform us right away.” So there are more children willing to tell although not many. Many children feel that if they inform someone else, the family will be torn apart and the child will potentially feel it’s his fault then. (I know and you know that it wouldn’t be his fault, but that’s HOW the average child thinks.)

Now, looking at those three theories, I realized there are a connection between the theories A, B and C. Due to media reporting on child abuse, there is more attention to child abuse and the need to protect the children, THEN that’s when social workers, teachers and parents come in, especially if there are survivors among social workers, teachers and parents. Due to what children experienced in past generations, those adult survivors are being loud and putting the spotlight on child abuse, hence the media comes in…

However, there is a concern about overabuse (no pun on that word) of using the term “Child abuse.” A bruise on a child’s arm would be a red flag for child abuse; never mind that the child had gotten that bruise from playing football- and isn’t football tough? Often than not, due to certain health conditions, bones can be easily broken, there would be bruises from just a light touch and there can be also mental disorders such as a child banging her head on the wall for stimulation, or a teenager cutting herself to FEEL. Understandably there is SIB (Self injurious behavior), in which the child/adolescent/adult (more likely a female teenager) will hurt themselves on purpose to experience feelings or a release from feelings they encounter. SIB can be also a red flag because often than not, SIB occurs due to sexual abuse.

Sorry for going off the topic, the point is that there is a concern about overreacting to ‘possibility of child abuse.” One child of a friend I know had told her substitute teacher that her dad hit her. The school called for a social worker and cops! Guess what? There was no father in the picture. (Her dad died before she was born.) The child admitted to lying because she was angry that her mother won’t get her a pony for her birthday. You see? On the other hand, there was a child coming to school with bruises all over. The teachers paid no attention after he said that he got them all from falling down the stairs. He’d come to school with bruises now and then and no one took action. It was a new teacher coming in winter that asked him explicit questions such as “How did you get this bruise? When? Do you have stairs at home? How many steps?” and she stressed over and over that he is NOT in trouble and that she has his safety in mind. That’s when he opened up and admitted that it was his mother using a belt. So, to me, the quote “damned if you don’t, damned if you do” applies to the topic of child abuse.

Too many children out there are returned to parents that promise they won’t lay a hand on the child and then the child end up dead or furthermore injured either mentally or physically. There are also too many children taken away from parents who TRULY love them and wouldn’t dream of hurting them; the social workers don’t do their homework fully or the judge overreacts.
Thus ends the first part.