Fantastic Fascination

People who make me gag

2009-07-14T00:21:00.007+08:00

I know I'm huge on Twitter, but can anyone get any more self-centred and superficial with status updates?

The postings I've been seeing on FB and Twitter are more than enough to make my stomach turn.

It's okay to be blind to your own faults, but pointing them out exactly on others just make yourself look worse. I hate being made used of too. I hate people who judge too quickly. I hate people who aren't real friends. I hate people who think they are 'deep' just because they can regurgitate cliché emo statements that prove just the opposite.

Please go away. You're really getting on my nerves.

Jump - Van Halen

2009-07-09T00:24:00.004+08:00

Theme song from Mr. Brain. Love it! Check out the drum roll!

I get up, and nothing gets me down.
You got it tough. I've seen the toughest soul around.
And I know, baby, just how you feel.
You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real
Oh can't you see me standing here,
I've got my back against the record machine
I ain't the worst that you've seen.
Oh can't you see what I mean?

Might as well jump. Jump!
Might as well jump.
Go ahead, jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump.

Aaa-ohh Hey you! Who said that?
Baby how you been?
You say you don't know, you won't know
until you be here.
Well can't you see me standing here,
I've got my back against the record machine
I ain't the worst that you've seen.
Oh can't you see what I mean?

Might as well jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump.
Might as well jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump. Jump!

(guitar solo)
(keyboard solo)

Part of the video version: Aaa-ohh!

Might as well jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump.
Get it and jump. Jump!
Go ahead, jump
Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!

Gushing, not sleeping

2009-07-07T00:45:00.019+08:00

I am enjoying Photoshop lessons, never mind that I kept nodding off in class and the lecturer (who was also my Illustrator teacher) was just a thread-thin away from aiming the thick Adobe manual at my head.

At least I'm keeping up with the class... I even helped the girl sitting besides me who got so lost every now and then. I'm almost a model pupil! Minus the sleepiness, that is.

Anyway, the lack of blogging lately is largely due to my workload and Japanese dramas. I've been spending late nights watching them and thus explains my sleepiness.

My boss is getting annoyed at me. I have a feeling that she doesn't like me but is much too polite to express it more freely than she should. Her baby daughter regurgitated her lunch at me when I was carrying her during the weekend brunch at Goodwood Park Hotel. She is definitely in sync with her mommy. But she's sooooo cute! I love her chubbiness! I think baby girls are the cutest things on earth. An ex-colleague of theirs brought her baby girl too. Cara is like the sweetest fifteen-month-old! She's always smiling and giggling at us strange aunties and kept offering us the mobile phone that she put into her mouth. She liked pressing any gadgets with buttons on it. She pointed at anything and everything and ooohh, you just want to play with her all day. I am making up my mind to have a baby girl even if I don't get married by 30. Baby GIRL. No boy. Thanks.

Regarding the Japanese drama craze... it all started with Mr. Brain because Takuya is now taking my heart away when he's thirty-six, not when he was a young SMAP chap in his 20s.

Watching Mr. Brain brought my attention back to Zettai Kareshi, which was like one of the most touching dramas I've ever watched lah... Because I cried so hard when Tenjo Nighto left Riiko. I don't know if it was really touching or it was just my hormones going haywired, I cried like a baby at the last couple of episodes. I seem to keep talking about babies.

And SOUSHI! Oh Soushi-kunnn!

This is Soushi in the show, but his real name is Mizushima Hiro.

I stole this profile shot from wiki-addict.

He's a total sweetheart. He looks a lot like that boy from Arashi but he's not! He's Hiro! Hero! Okay, it sounds a little lovesick over a younger boy. Anyway, young boy IS already married! His wife is Ayaka, who is a terrific singer. Not jealous. Honest. She's really wonderful as a singer. Love her theme song for Zettai Kareshi. You go listen. It's very nice.

Don't say I only know how to talk, never show. I youtubed it for you.

Here's the song:

Ayaka - Okaeri (おかえり)

So since he's married, can I conclude that the last decent man on earth is already taken? I'll go figure out how to make that baby girl by myself. I hope it won't be too difficult.

And here are some more nuggets if you're interested... which you probably aren't but I don't care! Don't care! I'm feeling generous!

-plasters more Hiro's pictures into your face

:) <3

-off to bed!

What I need?

2009-06-16T23:13:00.004+08:00

I must take a one-day leave and spend all 24 hours of it on sleeping.

Maybe wake up in long intervals to stuff some food in my mouth and then crawl back to bed.

Sounds like a perfect holiday.

Yes or no

2009-06-10T23:57:00.002+08:00

1. You can ONLY answer 'Yes' or 'No'.

2. You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone comments you and asks— and, believe me, the temptation to explain some of these will be overwhelming. Nothing is exactly as it seems.

Been arrested? — No
Kissed someone you didn't like? — Yes
Slept in until 5 PM? — Yes
Fallen asleep at work/school? — Yes
Held a snake? — Yes
Ran a red light? — No
Been suspended from school? — No
Experienced love at first sight? — Yes
Totalled your car in an accident? — No
Been fired from a job? — No
Fired somebody? — No
Sung karaoke? — Yes
Pointed a gun at someone? — No
Did something you told yourself you wouldn't? — Yes
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? — Yes
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? — No
Kissed in the rain? — No
Had a close brush with death (your own)? — No
Saw someone die? — No
Played Spin-the-Bottle? — No
Smoked a cigar? — No
Sat on a rooftop? — No
Smuggled something into another country? — Yes
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes? — No
Broken a bone? — No
Skipped school? — Yes
Eaten a bug? — No
Sleepwalked? — No
Walked on a moonlit beach? — Yes
Ridden a motorcycle? — No
Dumped someone? — No
Forgotten your anniversary? — No
Lied to avoid a ticket? — No
Ridden in a helicopter? — No
Shaved your head? — No
Blacked out from drinking? — No
Played a prank on someone? — Yes
Hit a home run? — No
Felt like killing someone? — Yes
Cross-dressed? — Yes
Been falling-down drunk? — No
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? — No
Eaten snake? — No
Marched/Protested? — No
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? — No
Puked on an amusement ride? — No
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? — No
Knitted? — No
Been on TV? — Yes
Shot a gun? — No
Skinny-dipped? — No
Given someone stitches? — No
Eaten a whole habenero pepper? — No
Ridden a surfboard? — No
Drunk straight from a liquor bottle? — No
Had surgery? — Yes
Streaked? — No
Been taken by ambulance to a hospital? — No
Tripped on mushrooms? — No
Passed out when NOT drinking? — No
Peed on a bush? — No
Donated Blood? — Yes
Grabbed electric fence? — No
Eaten alligator meat? — Yes
Eaten cheesecake? — Yes
Killed an animal when not hunting? — Yes
Peed your pants in public? — No
Snuck into a movie without paying? — No
Written graffiti? — No
Still love someone you shouldn't? — Yes
Think about the future? — Yes
Been in handcuffs? — No
Believe in love? — No
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? — No

Okay totally pointless.

Desktop Meme

2009-06-10T23:46:00.006+08:00

01. Anyone who looks at this entry has to post this meme and their current wallpaper at their ~~LiveJournal~~ blog.
02. Explain in five sentences why you're using that wallpaper!
03. Don't change your wallpaper before doing this! The point is to see what you had on!

Simply because I am a Bleach fan and I like it when Kurosaki transforms into a hollow. It is also my twitter wallpaper.

I am prone...

2009-06-09T22:33:00.009+08:00

... to get hook on Murakami's. I don't think I'll read ALL his novels at one go, I'm telling myself to savour one as it comes. Currently, I'm not just savouring Norwegian Wood. I'm devouring it. Gotta keep myself in check.

I think the exchanges between Midori and Toru touch my heart more than anything else. And I do have a soft spot for the beautiful Naoko. I always have a soft spot for beautiful girls.

Fanny may be glad to know that I finished the third episode of Supernatural S3. Was it my imaginings but Jensen Ackles just get hotter as the series progresses? It's quite unbelievable how much of girl crush I can have on one celebrity hunk. I remembered chasing after V6 and Toro quite fervently back when I was in my late teens. This is nothing compared to those days... but still, my heart is sold to a man. A MAN who is not asian. A man who has brown hair.

>_<

So not me.

I keep seeing Mr Freitag. He's hard to miss. It's amazing how often/out of the blue you can run into certain people. Just like one time, I caught Lynx crossing the traffic lights when I was on a bus home from gym. Very recently, I saw my bra and his intended crossing the traffic lights while I passed by Bugis Street on a bus home from town (again). Bugis is closely related to bra. I grew up watching him played expert levels of Percussion Freaks in the Bugis arcade for a couple of years. I also saw Nel walking near Sim Lim when I was on a cab before. It's funny how I can spot people crossing the roads or walking along the streets when I'm on a moving vehicle, albeit slow. But whenever I'm walking on both legs along the streets, I walk past people I know even when they had waved their big hands into my face. I think I like car rides and bus rides because I enjoy observing the view out of the windows. Other than that, I'm usually oblivious to the world around me. And the last time I was in Wheelock's Cedele, I met Tuts and Carmen, AND Sarah Chan, my old classmate from PL. All of them in the same night. I love meeting people I like on the streets. Things only get awkward when these people turn out to be those I would not even like to say 'hi' to.

Okay, I am not saying I'm sharing deep affinities with the people mentioned above. I am just amazed by coincidences. Especially when it happens as the thought cross my mind for a fleeting second, BAM! It manifested in reality. Not psychic, just pure nature's works in a twisted manner. That's how I feel about it.

I wish I have juicier stories to tell you than petty coincidences. But my life is sedated this way... with very little to tell because I like things peaceful. Haha. More like excitement and myself don't attract each other. However! I am packing up more activities this June than the early half of this year! I am filling up the little squares in my desk calendar with design courses, arty events, and some random flings. Hopefully till then, I have more stories to tell.

See you crossing the roads! Ja!

What we did on Cindy's birthday!

2009-06-07T01:38:00.009+08:00

I love Turkish salads. Fanny and Xiaoyang have gotten me hooked. I'm quite sorry that XY didn't come out with us today, but we had eaten the salad in honour of her.

And also, we celebrated dear Cindy's birthday today. I wish I had gotten her a better birthday present but I have not bought anything decent for anyone for ages. I kind of lost it. I also lost the comfortability of money I used to have.

But we had some fun at the Crazy Elephant pub tonight.

Cindy with seafood aglio olio

Romano pizzaaaa

Sandra cosying up with Fanny

My margarita

Think I hadn't drunk this much (only a beer and margarita) for a long time. I get lobster red, which I hate. I also hate to blush but this helps to know.

But it felt so good to let loose for once! I was mistaken for a Korean again but I didn't mind. Most people I met for the first time thought I'm a non-Singaporean. I am getting very used to it. But it gets awfully embarrassing when they start sprouting Korean/Japanese greetings at me and I have no idea what they are getting at. First, they are usually not saying them correctly. Second, I am the last person to look for if you need help in a third language.

I have just effectively used 'first', 'second', 'third', and 'last' within two sentences. That's smooth. Ho!

I am going back to Norwegian Wood and Dean Winchester tomorrow. I am loving the book and the handsome Mr Ackles.

It's been a week and it still sucks to be me.

2009-06-02T23:15:00.005+08:00

I wish my tailbone will stop being such a pain in the ass. I mean it!

And I was falling asleep halfway through a Stephen King's short story but I made myself finished it, and when I was done, I couldn't fall back to sleep. Wonderful. I think I will start on Norwegian Wood soon. Murakami is going to be a more soothing read, I feel. Enough of wackiness and psychosis from Mr King. I want to sleep and...

I wish the aches will stop. They are driving me nuts. I am trying not to take the painkillers if possible but my tolerance is dwindling. Then again, I prefer the dull aches to the occasional sharp searing pains whenever I forget to be careful as I get off the chair or bed.

When I knocked off today, I chanced upon the washerman washing the floors at Tanjong Pagar Complex. I saw the extremely wet floors and for a moment, I shuddered and I immediately turned my back to make a detour. It's official. I have a phobia of wet surfaces. No more laughing at old ladies who walk in inches on rainy days.

Syl isn't coming back till July because she needs to finish up her thesis. Bah to the max. I miss gym. I miss hanging out with my psycho classmates. Before I came online to type this grumpy post, I was missing somebody from a distant past. I don't know why she had suddenly appeared in my thoughts through the sleepless hour. Bah again. It all made me want to work harder and be more successful. Just to make somebody remember me like how I remember him or her.

I AM EXPERIENCING DEJA VU NOW. IT'S CREEPY. I AM GOING BACK TO BED. NIGHT. BAH. I MEAN, BYE.

>.<

2009-06-02T10:15:00.002+08:00

Today is not a very good day for my tailbone. I think I agitated it during sleep last night. :(

Accident and none of those emergency

2009-05-27T03:08:00.004+08:00

I am in terrible pain as I type this. I just got home from A&E. Had a nasty fall on the wet kitchen floor, landed on my buttocks and had great difficulty moving hipwards.

The pain was so intense that I couldn't stop crying and squirming for the next half an hour. My whole family brought me to SGH. It was cold and I ~~was~~ am in pain, so I felt very miserable during the long queue.

The doctor who tended to me was such a young laid-back chap, very humorous but very annoying at the same time. I would have retorted if I wasn't in so much pain. Okay, how many times have I said 'pain'? I think that's all in my mind right now, so this is going to be a very painful post for you to read.

Had to X-ray and the X-ray sheets were cool. The tailbone is fractured and the cheerful doctor was telling me that it is common for falls, nothing serious, but yeah, take two-three weeks to heal, and yes, sit on a float, yada-yada, happiness.

I could have just kicked him.

But I was surprised to see that a tailbone is really a tail! So cute! But of course, mine is bent and crooked now. No wonder I rather stand than to sit or lie.

I was so touched when Pearrrl came all the way down to look for me, passed me her jacket and warm water-bottle because I was cold, and all in all, giving me the most supportive compassion I can ever find in mankind. Thanks Pearrrl. I felt a lot better after you came, honestly. I don't know why. It's like, I can bear the pain so much better after seeing you, with your huge backpack, messy tousled hair and all, still, the 'pillar' of strength I always have since I was 18.

This is getting a little incoherent. I am just typing whatever that comes out from my cotton head.

I am okay now. I must try not to move if possible, try not to sit in any cab, bus, train, whatever, try to let my butt not touch anything. And yeah, I can't bend. So go pick up that litter for me, kthx.

Hope to post again when I am not so 'displaced'.

Sleep debt

2009-05-19T23:49:00.002+08:00

I think Stephen King's short stories do not make very good bedtime reading material.

I am suffering insomnia despite difficulty in waking up in the mornings.

May is the month of desertion

2009-05-19T19:49:00.001+08:00

I need to watch myself.

I don't want to snap at the wrong person.

Unexpected

2009-05-16T01:53:00.001+08:00

Suddenly the silent weekend became bustling with plans...

... that I do not really want.

I just want DVDs, books, and bed.

What I'm apologising for

2009-05-14T16:51:00.005+08:00

I am sorry if I hurt anyone's feelings these days. My temper is short, my patience is scarce, and I can hardly smile at you even though it is not that difficult.

Especially to some.

I will make sure you know that I don't tolerate self-centredness of any sort. I used to do it very well but now I can't. I just can't do it anymore. That is that. I can be self-centred too. For e.g., 'Sorry, but will you please stop wasting my time?', or 'Please do your own things, and I'll do mine. How's that?'

Walk off. Be free. Nobody wastes anybody's time.

That kind of settles it nicely for both parties, don't you think?

I am crossing ~~you~~ out. That, is what I'm really sorry about.
So goodbye.

What is brave?

2009-05-12T00:29:00.007+08:00

"And he said that wasn't brave of him, doing that, just standing there and being stung," said Coraline to the cat. "It wasn't brave because he wasn't scared: it was the only thing he could do. But going back again to get his glasses when he knew the wasps were there, when he was really scared. That was brave."

"And why was that?" asked the cat, although it sounded barely interested.

"Because," she said, "when you're scared but you still do it anyway, that's brave."

- Coraline, Neil Gaiman

I went for my first ever audition last Saturday and it was an incredible experience. At the end of it all, I felt like I've lost and won. Is it possible to do both at the same time?

The tears only came afterwards. I wonder why. It wasn't good but the lady was kind and said I did well. I don't want to talk about it to anyone. It is my personal experience and I would like to keep it that way. Nobody was there when I went for it, I don't think I need anyone around after it. I'm not making reports.

Thanks for all the concern, really.

And now, to get better. I can't be falling sick every now and then. I will stop working when I've found what I really want to do.

"Underneath their brave fronts, they secretly fear they have no real courage."

- Leo horoscope

"It's like doing a water painting on your face."

2009-05-04T23:28:00.007+08:00

Besides the mascara, I seemed to have done everything wrong in the Bobbi Brown make-up workshop. I think the consultants were thinking what a hopeless klutz I am. First, I was holding the brush like I was going to stab somebody. Later on, the lecturer said I just murdered my eyebrows. At the end of it all, the sweet young boy who was helping me most of the time concluded that applying the mascara was the only thing I did alright.

Did I even go through my late teens and twenties?

Anyway, I learned a lot and I hope some of the new knowledge actually retains. I also learn that I am very fair and it's a no-brainer that I have to use foundation #1 for almost any brand of make-up. The young boy was so sure of it, I was a little surprised. I thought I'm tanner now.

I am also in jitters throughout the night. Probably due to fatigue. Even tea does not help to keep me awake anymore. However, I managed to paraphrase a few lines for Syl's report in top speed and made her impressed, which is pretty rare. That used up all the milk tea I had in the morning because I felt awfully sleepy after helping her.

The good thing that came out of the recent weekend was that I finished my Absolute Sandman collection. The bad thing is that I have no money left for anything else. I am not sure why I feel so lethargic and unsociable these days. I missed my gym today (because of the workshop) and that made me blue. I usually love Mondays. I have an audition coming on Saturday and I planned to do a monologue from A Streetcar Named Desire. I am feeling more nervous than excited. Friends are planning to/getting married and I feel like I'm lagging way behind. I am harassed by ghosts of the past and I am trying hard not to be nice. I don't like being given the 'nice' tag because people think that they can expect you to be nice to them even if others won't because you are nice. I don't like that. I told Smart Pants about it and he just laughed and thought of it pathetic. I suspect if he's thinking I'm the one being pathetic. I feel strange these days, I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm just feeling a little disoriented about what is going on in my life right now, albeit a monotonous one. Do I even know where I'm going with this?

Otaku wave

2009-04-21T00:38:00.006+08:00

I finally placed my lazy bum into combat class. Last week was hailed as Fat Week, i.e. brainless gorging, no exercising, and simply nua. Meaning, watch tv, sleep and do nothing all day. Slothful behaviour is one of the deadly sins.

I have taken a fancy to americano tv dramas. I love, love Supernatural (although I'm still at the penultimate episode of S1 when everyone else is already in S4, so let's talk about being a late bloomer another day) and I've been reading House dialogues scripts from Wiki... er yes, I said read. I don't have the money to buy more DVDs and I don't have cable telly at home. I just spent a $100 on Bleach dvds in KL two weeks ago, which I am totally NOT regretting.

Everyone loves Bleach. I almost cried at the part where Rukia and Kaien had a sorrowful reunion (#154). It was so tragic lah! I don't know how to tell you if you have never watched Bleach. It just struck a chord for me.

I have found a new drama to watch. Harper's Island is at 10.30 pm every Sunday night. I love mysteries! I love thrillers! I love guessing who the evil mastermind is. I like testing my intuition like that. And it's only on for ONE season! Which sucks for everyone but me because I'm no good with multiple seasons. I usually get distracted and tend not to follow after S1, which is probably why I'm still hanging on to the last couple of episodes in Supernatural S1. I KNOW ME. I'm the most unfaithful. But, but, but, I'm loving tv now! -hugs my samsung tv set

After Harpers, there's Reaper, and after Reaper, there's WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY?!?!?!

SUNDAY NIGHT IS FOR STAYING INDOORS! -roars

I never knew what I was missing.

I'm counting. This is one of the perks after I left the life of shift work. I get to watch prime-time tv at home! Hooray!

Disclaimer #1

2009-04-18T02:42:00.001+08:00

I am not the bad person, you know?

I don't break up lesbian couples. Nor heterosexual ones for the record.

It's funny how those who do are the ones who get away with it.

Vocabulary regulary

2009-04-16T00:58:00.002+08:00

A peck means a lot. So the dictionary says.

Feeling peckish means wanting to nibble on something little. So Candy says.

I only think about chicks and kisses.

The Long Weekend

2009-04-09T03:29:00.004+08:00

Good Friday to you in advance.

Will be in Malaysia over the long weekend. Apart from my MC, this is the first time I'm taking a break from my new job. I intend to eat non-stop. Not that I'm hungry (for my appetite has not been good), but I want to have some fun and worry about nothing else except maybe what to eat later.

I can imagine the scary amount of workload that will pile up till I return to the office. Times like this I wish I was still doing tv production. Everything happens in real time back then and it ends it right there. Now I worry if a certain VP is gonna take this chance to flood my mailbox with requests during my absence.

-_-"

The back is slightly better, and the throat is less sore. I will continue the good work for the rest of the week. I'm feeling tentative about the trip, which I don't know why. Like, will I even be kept awake? I'm so tired and sleepy.

I am sorry that I can't celebrate Easter with Xaviere, Candy and gang (who have planned a good deal of fun activities on Saturday) and I'm also sorry that my dear Fanny is not joining us in this trip, and I can't celebrate Easter with XY - I won't see her for lunch anymore, and I am also missing quite a few people who kind of pop themselves up in my mind for no reason at all.

Nonetheless to you, the one who still reads my blog, have a good one.

Need a new back

2009-04-04T03:26:00.001+08:00

I SPRAINED MY BACK REAL BAD LAH!

I'm better now. Only a dull ache remains. I think I am old.

Some physical discomforts

2009-04-02T01:24:00.006+08:00

Sorry about the lack of updates. Seems like I prefer to twit about daily happenings more than blogging it down in a post... then again, I haven't twit that much either. -_-"

A damn mosquito's been feeding itself off my left leg. It even took on the blisters on my left foot's toes. That's how chek ark this mosquito can be.

The good news? I killed it with only one clap. That's what gluttony does to you. Makes you clumsy and slow.

However, the damage is done. I have three huge welts on my knee and calf, and I'm trying not to scratch the poor blister who has a mosquito bite on top of it.

I am also suffering from multiple ulcers on my tongue. Many, many angry red dots on it. Is it heatiness? I haven't been eating that much fried food what! Argh.

So this saves the night. For a while at least.

A short respite... and the tonsils are swelling up again. :( :( :(

What I did at Mandai (sadly wasn't looking at the primates)

2009-03-23T11:31:00.001+08:00

Check out my recent floral photography.

Click on images to enlarge them.

The orchid hybrids were amazing.

MC-ed

2009-03-19T17:04:00.002+08:00

It feels good to sleep and read all day.

I want to feel better.