kiltsarenotskirts...

the start

2008-07-24T14:16:00.003+01:00

so its been more than 2 weeks since my last post.

i've been busy doing absolutely nothing.

haha. okay. perhaps thats an understatement.

i just finished my summer work contract and this week has been a week of relaxation and getting back on my two feet.

just got back from viewing a house nearby uni which i'll be staying for the next academic year. its a tad expensive, but i guess sacrifices has to be made. plus money cant buy back time. so i guess i'll take it.

this summer has been mostly about self reflect. its still august but alot has happened. 2008 has proven to be a life changing year.

i have more free time now, however less interesting events has happened.

things to look forward to are Arsenal's Emirates Cup on the 3rd of august. Arsenal vs Real Madrid and Juventus vs Hamburg.

until then its same ol same ol stuff..

lates.

fruitpicking :)

2008-07-09T23:37:00.003+01:00

supposedly its summer and the sun is shining !

well not quite, its raining and well.. thats not gonna stop me from enjoying my holidays !

so a few of us in surrey went for fruitpicking in a place nearby called cobham (aka chelsea's training ground.. boo!)

so before i pollute some shameful pictures. here are some decent ones first.. :P

yes, not all the fruits were fresh.. some were a lil too ripe.. ;p

cherries!!!!

see what happens when you get overexcited over strawberries.. sigh..

even cherries.. sigh.. some people..

again cherries...

more cherries.. lalala.. :P

some went overboard till their bucket's strap just gave away.. greedy greedy people sigh..

theres also blackberries!! but it was sour as hell.. eeyuckk !

carrots too.. but taking them out from the ground is not as simple as bugs bunny said it is.. damn u bugs bunny.. u liar!

even cabbages.. :)

had fun.. eventhough it was raining throughout.. wanted to have a small picnic by the side according to some people to enjoy the feel of 'harmony'.. in the gloomy rainy weather.. yea sure.. very harmonious it was.

thats all.. bye! :D

senseless

2008-07-08T00:23:00.001+01:00

and the beating continues.. mutilating whatever that was left..

destroyed i am completely.

where is my silver lining o almighty god?

the quick getaway

2008-07-06T16:41:00.002+01:00

so she says to me early friday morning;

'jason mraz is having his tour ..'

with a frown on her face.. thinking that she'll never be able to see him in such short notice.. a quick search online and before she could say anything. i bought tickets.

she smiled happily like a kid who just got ice cream.

off we went to warwick art centre to see jason mraz perform.. :)

he was enthusiastic, sang most of his new songs which i totally haven't heard. ;p but one thing for sure he is defineatly an entertainer.. enjoyed completely.

one thing i still dont get is how come most brits dont seem to move during concerts. they just stand there and nod their heads while drinking their beer. whilst in malaysia even itty-bitty pop artists concerts you'd see people jumping around. i'd say that malaysian crowd would win hands down in terms of artist support.

he even brought along a small orchestras which was dope ! :)

stevie wonder look-alike haha!

the missus with a friends dslr

'o' for jason mraz? not quite sure :P

The Remedy

i'm yours

introducing..

2008-07-06T01:36:00.000+01:00

ladies and gentleman.. Mr Jason Mraz!

more later.. nitenite

pluckings

2008-07-02T07:39:00.002+01:00

continuing from the previous post; farewell

one by one, graduates of class 2008 are slowly leaving back for malaysia. most without any intentions of coming back to UK. well for now that is.

you can just see from the pictures below that everyone was in a state of gloom and heartbroken. yes yes. what a sad moment it was. sniff sniff.

lets make it official

2008-06-30T07:29:00.003+01:00

you've turned me into a romantic. cherishing each moment i have with you. understanding and forgiving, showing support no matter what. you've become a pillar of support, like family. you've watched me in my darkest hour yet still stuck to my side. deservingly, when my time for greatness comes you will surely be by myside.

a promise of loyalty, faith and unconditional love.

this is to you, dilla :)

farewell

2008-06-29T15:07:00.002+01:00

as its already mid summer, most of the graduates of class 2008 will be heading back home.. so yesterday we had a small farewell dinner..

proud product of KMS, scholars of MARA .. congrats to all 3 of em for getting 1st class :)

the odd one out, phd mr glass structures

engineer cum photographer who's gonna get a proper beating from his dad if he turns professional

penipu paling besar di surrey haha ;p

food was just alright, portion was a tad too small for my liking.. and cus i'm not a food blogger i wont post food pictures :P bye

teet teet!

2008-06-27T23:43:00.005+01:00

come summer and i've finally changed the header and would presumably start blogging more often. heh.

the last few months have been the pivotal points in my life. so much life changing decisions and unexpected results. i am at the hardest part of my life. fine, hardest part of my life so far.

thankfully, through this hardship i know that i have people around me who care for me and would like to see me succeed. taking it with an open heart and believing that god has a plan for everyone. i take heed that this would make me stronger, better and even wiser.

putting some plans on hold. new plans are made and hopefully they'll go smoothly. i just hope by not finishing the earlier plans that they wont be abandoned completely. :P

and now i'm tired and am too lazy to continue. hahaha. here are some pictures enjoy.

the important ones :)

revive.

2008-06-26T07:23:00.002+01:00

its been say.. more than a month since my last post.

nay i haven't abandoned this blog. even after my long period of absence which occurs almost every year. heh.

but what you've might notice is the layout is a lil out. thats cus i'm making it wider to fit pictures and also the text size has been increase to ease the eyes when reading. since i've gotten complaints from the missus sayin its a wee bit too small.

so there.

i'll slowly revive this blog again.

something i've said probably 1000 times now.. but heh. read it or leave mate. :)

adios amigo

the gamble

2008-05-08T08:43:00.002+01:00

'each man has his own path in life.. choose yours.'

Step up to the plate and prove your worth, I told myself back in the days of high school. 'I was a slacker with the ingredients of success', more than once have i heard that phrase and thought, perhaps its true.. perhaps its just some optimistic lie told by people to make you feel better.

So i took the challenge, heed my calling and did alright, continued and strived harder and still it looked like my path in life was getting clearer and more vivid.

I was thrilled.

For the better part of my life, I felt that I had a reason to be apart of this life. I had a role to play. I wanted more.. a bigger role, which also included more responsibility.

Perhaps maturity brought responsibility with it.

Or maybe, experience brought maturity and responsibility was just something that tagged along.

But i was now responsible for my life and future. Which perhaps included a wife and family in the picture, a house and the financial burden to support all those.

Lets narrow it down abit.

I am responsible for my future.

-

Taking the plunge into so called greatness, I challenged myself in an arena which most said was difficult; yet I knew my worth (or perhaps i was over optimistic?) and knew i can make something work.

Plummeting head first into a sea of shark-like challenges, I fought vigilantly and was winning part of the fight. Yet as time passed, it seemed that those fights have left bruises and as it carried on. I seem to be faltering..

Like swimming in the deep cold sea and slowly your muscles starts to cramp, but your life depended on you staying a float. You fight for your life knowing that somewhere some how you'll survive. Holding on to whatevers left, distant memories of your family become your life jacket.

But as the challenges never fade, their like sharks who come every now and then and takes chunks from you.

Time passes and even with the life jacket, your body have lost its limbs.

I've pushed myself so hard knowing that I am worth more than all this.

Even with all the suffering, I was optimistic, thinking that with all this hardship there will come a day of greatness. A day where i say to myself that 'all that was worth it'

But as reality took my final limb.

I perish.

I have failed.

I am sorry.

Even if i survive this, whatever that is left of me is just scraps.

This is my darkest moment and i see not of the light at the end of the tunnel.

the last few hurdles

2008-05-05T05:21:00.002+01:00

today marks the 5th maybe 6th day i've watched the sunrise.

as my sleeping habits are completely destroyed by the necessity of staying up and finishing up my work, today i feel slightly at ease. i've just submitted my final project report and though its not my best work; nay, i reckon its one of the worst, okay best of worst works i've done.

the burden is slightly off on one shoulder.

yet on the other shoulder the burden of exams are still weighing me down.

receiving an email earlier on today had my heart jumping for a while before it straight into the abyss.

i've qualified for the 2nd interview from a good company but they've also clearly mentioned that the requirements are a bare minimum of 2nd upper degree.

harharhar.

so anyways, after ranting left and right. everyone seemed optimistic that it was not an impossible act. i just needed to work hard.

soo cliche..

but it is the truth.

so here i am, watching another sunrise.. finishing up my revision for today, well yesterdays. i dont know whats gonna happen, part of me is scared to death, the other is just relieved that everything is finally coming to an end.

oh and i just checked my report plagiarism percentage; its gone from 7% to 12%!

stewpid software, counting the table of content and what not as well. hah. cant be arsed to change anything anymore.

plus i just realized that i forgot to edit something. hahahhaa. it clearly showed that i used a template for my report. :D just 1 line though

oh well.

push yourself

2008-04-29T22:03:00.004+01:00

awsome vid done by guy richie.

yep the same bloke who did lockstock and two smoking barrels.

awesome.. simple awesome..

weight of the world

2008-04-27T17:09:00.002+01:00

past few weeks or so i've been lugging around my laptop for most of the time. a 17" laptop + power adapter and all my notes. partially my fault for wanting a media entertainment laptop, explains the big ass screen. but it was a good investment for someone who's only means of entertainment was watching downloaded movies and tv series.

its as if i've grown a shell. ive turned into a turtle. -_-

doesnt help either that my bag is green in color. heh.

anyways, of late i've been staying up till 5am cramming as much as possible in my 'looks quite large but not so' head. waking up at 1pm make my heavy lunch, take my 2 hours of freedom and slowly lug my shell into classrooms to continue doing work.

this has literally taken its toll on me, my shoulder's been hurting for ages now and at times it does feel like i'm carrying the weight of the world on my back.

there are moments where i just wanna scream,

'aaaaaghhhh dahh laaaa bosan nk mampos buat bende niiiiiiii!'
*translation:
'aaaaaghhhh i'm so sick and tired of this rubbishhhhhhhhhhh!'

but 2 seconds later i'd dive back into what i was doing then. if not start streaming tv3's website for more rubbish to rant about.

lalalaa.. k better not waste anymore time .. time to continue work ta

30 mins

2008-04-25T00:37:00.002+01:00

tv3.com.my is definitely the way to kill time when your taking break from studying.

i finished watching the local news and decided to open remaja which totally cracked me up.

the show starts with a local issue of insomnia and they've invited a guest doctor and 2 other 'remajas' to speak about insomnia. expecting the discussion to be quite informative i watched eagerly only to end up with despair..

it was so lame..

the doctor though he looked the part wasnt given any solid question about insomnia.

dont get me started on the two other guests; the lady claimed she had the attributes or symptoms of a insomniac whilst the other dude, he wasnt insomniac.. he was just another teenage kid with nothing better to do who played games.

he couldnt sleep because he played bloody computer games all night long and sleeps during the day.

pfft !

puhhhleaaseee!

choosing not to sleep is not insomnia. insomnia cases are like the ones you see in 'fight club', the inability to sleep at all. well okay that might be chronic insomnia but least its a proper example, not some bloke who presumably comes from a rich family whos parents only comment when he doesnt sleep at night is,

*drum roll*

'eh tak tido lagi?'

obviously when he says that he sleeps during the day and stays up at night to play games.. he's just spoiled. what a brat.

bah.

which comes to the next segment, which even its name got me rolling all over the floor laughing;

segment: hot, happening & stylo!

dammmnnnnnnnnnnn!

its basically a review of whats hot and whats not and mind you, even the name of the segment is bad. but i reckon what cracked me up the most was when they featured 'hartamas square' as part of the 'happening' place to be and interviewed a couple o people there and one of em said;

'well you see, hartamas is different.. its not like a mamak or a restaurant.. mamak is mamak, restaurant is restaurant.. but hartamas is hartamas.'

like;

double yew - tee - eff

wokaaayy.

then later on their gadget section, of all the wicked gizmo's in the world right now they feature a mouse. not a mouse-mouse but a computer mouse.

why la?

takkan tetikus is the must have gadget kot for remaja's now a days?

so anyways, the mouse they featured was the razor mouse - sumthing-sumthing which was kononnye the most uber hyped mouse for 'gaming'.

-_-

first you feature a kid who has 'insomnia' from excessive gaming, now you feature a mouse to play more games.

good!

i like!

after all the hoo-haa's about the mouse is over(they even invited 2 'gamers' to test out the mouse.. weee kewl-ness habis!) they forgot to do one thing.. mentioning the price tag of the mouse.

fo those of you who dont know, a razor mouse can cost up to about rm200 or more

remaja can afford ke?

baik gi tuition dgn duit tu.

anyways. enuff ranting.

suci

2008-04-20T01:25:00.002+01:00

putih.

sesuci warna putih.

pertama kalinya ku tak terkata dan diriku hanya mampu merenung.

kejelitaan yang sebelum ini tak pernah ku sangka hadir di depan mataku.

terserlah sebentar tadi.

ku menjadi kaku.

tak bisa mengeluarkan kata-kata lain hanya, 'cantik..'

dia tertawa menyangkakan kataku itu satu sindiran.

tapi akan ku simpan gambaran kejelitaan itu di minda ku buat selamanya.

ku pasti, jika sebelum ini dia sememangnya jelita tapi pabila bertutupkan seperti tadi, terhilang kata-kataku..

ianya seandai ku terjumpa segala yang ku cari selama ini di dalam dirinya.

pertama

2008-04-18T20:37:00.003+01:00

ku mengerti diriku ini tidak sempurna;
buat pertama kalinya akan ku tuliskan dalam blog ini rangkapan fikiranku di dalam bahasa asalku,
ku mengerti ianya bukanlah yang terbaik seperti orang sering sangkakan,
bahasaku ini hanya biasa, tidak pun memalukan bagi diri seseorang sepertiku ini,
ku pelik melihat diriku sejak kebelakangan ini,
tidak seperti biasa,

telah terbukti yang diriku ini seorang yang tabah,
tapi apakan daya pabila diriku ini telah mencuba sedaya upaya,
namun apa yang ku berusaha tidak berjaya,
ku memaksa diriku supaya tabah,
tabah menempuh cabaran yang tidak lama akan habis,
tapi kelihatan seperti ianya takkan terhenti,

ku melayan diriku memikirkan masa depan ku,
sesuatu yang dulunya ku sering lakukan,
merancang dan menetapkan misi-misi hidupku,
mengatur langkah agar ku menjadi seseorang yang berjaya,
menjadi kebanggaan ibu-bapa serta keluarga,

rangkapan ini bukannya petanda yang ku telah putus asa,
hanya peringatan bagi hari akan datang,
betapa peritnya dugaan yang telah ku lalui untuk mencapai sesuatu,
sesuatu yang tidak tersangka begitu susah,
ku berasa duka,
pabila ditampar oleh kenyataan,
yang ku ini hanyalah seorang biasa,
tidak sehebat mereka,

ku juga ingin merasa betapa manisnya kejayaan itu,
seperti kejayaan ku pada tahun 2005,
begitu manis sekali rasanya,
ku telah berusaha,
sepenuh hati, sekuat daya,
tapi apakan daya..

ku berpegang pada potensi diriku,
yang ku juga mampu,
tambahan pula kesungguhan mu untuk melihat ku berjaya,
ku berusaha lagi,
mengubah diriku agar ku kelihatan kental, gagah perkasa,
walaupun realitinya ku ini hanyalah seorang yang sangat kecil,
kaulah kekuatanku,
janganlah kau sesekali pergi dari diriku,

di saat-saat seperti inilah yang ku paling memerlukan mu,
ku tidak mampu berdiri keseorangan menempuh dugaan hidup ini,
namun lidahku ini tidak mengerti kelembutan,
melukakan hatimu dengan kata-kataku,
melihat dirimu memaling dari diriku adalah penyeksaan yang paling perit,
ku mengaku kebodohan diriku,
akan ku cuba mengubah diriku supaya tidak sebegini lagi,
ku pinta kau sabar,

kerna ku memerlukanmu dalam hidupku,
ku rayu padamu..
janganlah tinggalkan ku..

farewell dinner

2008-04-09T12:24:00.003+01:00

yes. i've grown fat.

boohoo :(

at this moment.

2008-03-31T11:48:00.003+01:00

2005 was a great year for me. it was a year of achievements and success, academically and personally. i finished that year longing for a bigger more demanding challenge. something which would literally put me on the edge of my seat and develop me on a personal level to a more mature and professional individual.

the start of 2006 was slow yet it proved to be something worthy of what i searched for. though most of the time the work was informal, from the dress code to the some-time-not-exactly-from-the-book actions, i learned a lot. my mentor was a great person, he showed me the knitty-gritty works of the professional world and what it takes to survive at that level. it was sheer determination and patience (some tongue-twisting required). the work was tremendous and sometimes a wee bit overboard, nearing the end i lost my footing and stumbled for a bit. but i learned a lot, i was reluctant to depart yet i knew that it was for the better part of my individual character building. not to mention, my parents would kill me if i decided not to pursue my degree.

parental guidance. a text-book to my being. it had all the steps needed to be great. though i hardly followed their steps willingly, partially i am still a carbon copy of them. i carved my own path, choosing the harder path, more rigid and not entirely the best of choices. setting a final goal in life to be as equally successful as they are, i pushed myself.

settling down in a different country was demanding, with an academic goal which required so much it is the biggest challenge so far. yet apart from that one main goal, i had my agenda's. it made life even harder. it has always seemed like life was never gonna be easy for me. if it wasnt one thing, it was always the other.

never wanting to have just a taste of one thing, i diversified myself. dipping my toes in as much as possible i wanted to be an individual who could do everything. but realizing that i've always subconsciously put myself in a situation where i've had to push beyond my current capabilities. too often wanting to have a taste of that greater success. i slumped.

yesterday was a testament for which a company actually gave me back my CV saying i am too general. very unprofessional but still .. nonchalantly walking away i was lost for words inside.

they say that for every hardwork it will be paid back in the future. but its already been too long..

im tired.

time to just ride the wave and see where the tide brings me.

perhaps now i will try to live for the present and not worry so much about the future.

piecing together..

2008-03-14T10:43:00.005Z

'planning is 50%, the other 50% is up to god'

can be said to be my motto about life. that no matter how much you plan and strive to achieve your goals, its still up to god if he feels fit to give you what you want most.

the irony is, i think god already has plans for each and everyone of us. that we're just plotting the dots which he's already marked.

i wouldnt of guessed that i'd end up where i am today a year ago.

contented.

wanting to lead a simple life instead of the bustling hectic work for highest pay or what not.

grown tired of working too hard for a piece of this life which by the time i achieve it, i'd already lose out on time. so why bother..

time to take it easy and move with the flow..

:)

chaos knocking at the door..

2008-03-11T08:04:00.003Z

i was never one for politics, always regarding it as something which i'd never dive into. perhaps im oblivious to the facts and figures, but i wouldnt exactly put my country in the hands of someone who can just 'woo' the crowd. i believe in electing a leader who's experience speak for itself, like how in the olden days, the strongest or best warrior would be king. so perhaps the best economist or something should lead the country. cus if not, the country would be led by an idiot who promises wonders yet delivers only shame for the country.

but one cant feel a wee bit political when the media back at home is literally swamped with news of the new government and how its structured now. the general election which literally suprised everyone was interesting yet one cant feel insecure about what change it might bring in the near future..

living abroad, people always assume that being asian your either a chinese or indian. me being a malay, they just think i'm in between somewhat a result of a mix of both or something. but i am proud of my heritage and my country. i tell them i am a malay from malaysia, a country consisting of 3 main races; malay, chinese and indians. i tell them about how beautiful malaysia is with its tropical climate and magnificent beaches, the numerous seasonal fruits which i miss so dearly and all the things which europe doesnt have. an iranian classmate fell in love with malaysia instantly when he visited last easter and it felt good when someone tells you that they've been to your country and would definitely come back for more !

alas, words of internal conflict amongst the races.. the struggle for power amongst the already powerful. it destroys the image and passion one has for the country. students abroad are already quivering with the idea of coming back to a country which they dont recognize. their already questioning where is the country heading in 10 years time. being the youth and probable driving force of the nation in the not so distant future, they can only hope for the best and not be apart of a malicious intent of some organization.

perhaps i'm babbling, uttering non-sense which i've no clue about. since i only conclude what falls on my lap, i'm sure theres a bigger picture somewhere out there. but since i'm only a student who's supposedly very busy doing assignments and my final year project.. i just cant be arsed to find out.

:D

taa !

:)

2008-02-27T22:00:00.001Z

ku mencintaimu lebih dari apa pun..
meskipun tiada satu orang pun yang tahu..
ku mencintaimu sedalam-dalam hatiku..
meskipun engkau hanya kekasih gelapku.. :D

jen jen jenggg!

woooo technology..

2008-02-23T02:30:00.003Z

sorry for the long hiatus. been real busy lately.. :P

anyways. nothing much to post today. just some random facts about what phone's i've used so far.. heh. you'd be amazed at how much technology has changed since then..

my first phone was an ericsson t10, it was fat and the battery was huge. whenever anyone calls, i'd be lying if i said i couldnt feel my phone vibrate cus this lil fella vibrates like mad.

my next phone was this motorola startec v3688. it was small and foine as hell at the time. :D

but something else caught my eye and i traded in the motorola for my first nokia, nokia 3310 which costs a whopping 800 ringgit then. yep, which is basically worthless now. bah!

but alas, all the hype was shortlived as i lost this phone after 2 days of buying it.. oh the pain.. dont get me started on that part..

i then manage to persuade my parents in getting me a new phone and they were kind enough to get me a nokia 3210. though a predecessor to the 3310 but it was a classic. the first built in antenna cell phone if im not mistaken by nokia.

but since the agreement with my parents was that i had to share the nokia 3210 with my sister, i opted to get my own phone.. haha. i cant help but laugh at the shape of the next phone i used. it was so egg like. :P mine was grey in color btw, not green. if i'm not mistaken, at the time i was using this phone was the first time cross-network text was made available. digi(016) to adam(017) ..

after quite some time i decided to revert back to ericssons, t25 the so called thinnest phone on the market then. it was already out like almost a year when i bought it. i couldnt get a picture of the t25, but it looks something like this t21 but alot thinner.

midway using this phone, i exchanged phones with a friend of mine whom was using a nokia 8250.. using it for 2 weeks, i was hooked on it cus of the t9 dictionary. texting was so much easier on a nokia.. so suprise-suprise i got myself a nokia 8250 as well..

after a good long run with the nokia 8250, its screen died on me finally and i got a new phone reluctantly. i still loved my 8250 but it was time for a change. my first samsung clamshell phone. samsung s500 with color ! pretty pretty screen with the ugliest sounding ring tones. haha.

the thing about phones is that you'd play with your friends phone and somehow get hooked on it and want one for yourself. going back to my hometown for eid fitri, i was toying around with my cousins nokia 6600, i was so amazed with the camera and symbian OS i emptied my pockets to get me one as well.. man it cost a bomb! sadly it got stolen after 4 months use.. SIGH!

losing a phone during college was hard, i felt lost and empty. like i just broke up with a girlfriend or sumthing. ;p since i already spent most of my savings on getting the nokia 6600, i had to get a replacement phone which was cheap and reliable. so i got myself a nokia 3100 which costs 300 ringgit .. a very reliable phone. :)

living in the UK opened up new doors for cell phones since it had those yearly contract offers which came with a free phone. so i finally parted with my trusty nokia 3100 and got my first PDA phone. the o2 mini S phone with full qwerty keyboard..

upon reaching the end of my yearly contract i decided to get the current phone im using the nokia n95 with 5 megapixel cam. though somedays i still miss my mini S .. but the 5 megapixel camera cancels out the feeling :P my only complaint for this phone is its battery life which sucks when your travelling.

aight. im off. no mood to write :D ta

tired..

2008-02-06T23:39:00.000Z

i'm tired of opening my wallet to see only paper receipts and id cards.
i'm tired of checking my balance to see such a depressing number.
i hate calculating all my bills and knowing how big of a hole i have in my pockets.
i long for the day when i can spend my money without care.

ugh!

when will i be rich!

bye.

constructive criticism

2008-02-05T13:15:00.000Z

been busy trying to juggle things about.

ugh.

realized this morning of how im always playing catch up. bad habit. really. but really, its not like i want to be this way. heh. :P

anyways, i always find it really nerve wrecking when i step into my supervisors office. the moment i step foot into the building, the smell of the carpet hits me and i start to get nervous. getting feedback on my report, he said he wasnt pleased. that i was more less mumbling in it.

so i explained myself, i was playing it safe. scared of putting too much detail that if questioned i'd stutter.

which i did.

he explained again the theories for like the 80th(exaggerated ;p) time or something.. all of which i already know and have a clear cut picture of but just cant seem to put it into words when questioned.

i felt foolish. i felt like i was back in school again.

but he was supportive this time around. which i am happy to know, giving feedback of what i must do(though half of em i am already doing).. its constructive.

its already feb, i have jitters about how all if this would turn up. keeps me up at night some nights. but i am confident, i will make it.

this time around, its not the depressive peer pressure. but more of a 'i've alot of ground to cover but i know there are people to support me through..'

so perhaps its because i lack of self belief which dampens my success level..

fear not mother and father!

whilst i let out a roar of courage(sounds more like a meow if u ask me). i have found what i was missing last time around. only thing left is..

'bile laa duit mara nk masuk ni weii.....'