The 2 Man Advantage

Chalk Talk

2009-12-10T16:54:00.013-05:00

Pretty sick way to finish off the Rangers in OT, right? Let's break down the goal (because I have nothing to write about) and parse what happened in this play. Keep in mind I can't spell Dustin's last name without Google's help so I'll refer to him as "Buff".

So we're in OT with plenty of skating room and Marc Staal find himself with some pressure from Andy Ladd (at least I think it's Ladd). Staal does his best to use the net and get's some space from the aggressive forecheck and hoofs it out of the zone up the right side.

Rozsival (at the end of his shift) offers a very weak outlet for Staal considering it's a 4-4, right? I think he was just looking to have the puck carried out so he could get a blow. Anyways Staal gets to the nuetral zone and hits Gabby cross ice who is waiting at the blueline.

Rozsival goes for a line change and Gilroy hits the ice. This is important but in the grand scheme of things might not have changed the end result. So I guess it isn't important but noteworthy. Roll the film.

Gabby steps into the zone unmolested and sets up camp. Staal, being the Dman he is, goes right to the net as Gabby looks for an outlet pass.

Since Rozsival changed Gabby doesn't yet have defenseman at the top of the zone to he feigns making a cross ice pass (unless I imagined this) and sends it to Staal down low.

Now Staal is a defenseman and most Dmen think that their offensive roles when not on the point is to get some traffic and look for a tip. No way another forward makes that play. Dmen are mostly meaty folks who try for steak and potato jobs. Gabby's pass wasn't nearly hard enough for Staal to try a between the legs tip but by chance the puck squirts to Vinny Prospal.

Prospal has a chance here. He's lefty and has been lucky enough that everytime Gabby has breathed on him he's been scoring. So even though Staal tried his hardest to end this play the puck gets on his stick.

When you look at the picture above you think Vinny could easily throw something on net for a Staal rebound or slide it to Staal for the finish. Wrong. Duncan Keith doesn't freak out and kicks Prospal's pass attempt out of the reach of Prospal.

Now Gilroy still isn't in this play. I thought he was an ultra-mobile dman? How slow was Rozsival getting to the bench? Buff is looking at the puck like he stares at a Sonic commericial and Gabby doesn't know whether to engage or let Gilroy play his man. Gabby gives a half-hearted sweep and it's a race to the bottom.

Buff turns on the jets. Not only that but in the above picture Buff pulls a little toey and catches Gilroy flat footed. Once Gilroy tries to pokecheck he is finished. Buff is churning and Gilroy should have got on his horse and forced Buff wide. Instead he made a play for the puck and gets sent down to the AHL.

Gilroy does his best Mike Green impression and reaches for his inhaler when physical defensive play is involed. He lunges one last time like a hipster running after a Brooklyn bound L leaving 3rd avenue. Now if Gabby were a dman he would have beaten Buff to the post to make stop. Instead he acts like anyone would if they saw a sofa flying past them and maintains his distance. Buff gets in on Henrik who has a dog collar shock him if he steps out of his crease.

Henrik does 35% of a poke and Buff slides the puck through his legs. It's tough for Hank with Buff coming left to right with all that speed but Hank still wishes he had committed to the poke check.

It's a walkoff.

In hindsight Gabby should have tried to skate through 4 Blackhawks and get a quality shot on net. That's really all the Rangers have right now.

- Nemmy - horseshit since 1981

Brendan Witt

2009-12-09T13:26:00.003-05:00

New York Islanders defenceman Brendan Witt was hit by a car in Philadelphia on Tuesday, according to Newsday. But Witt reportedly picked himself up off the road and, after a few profanities, assured everyone he was all right before continuing on his way, prompting one witness to say, "it was like seeing Clint Eastwood, but in hockey."
Witt was crossing Arch Street to get a cup of coffee when a gold Yukon truck made an illegal turn and hit the 34-year-old. Newsday says Witt tried to jump on the hood of the vehicle before being thrown to the ground as he was struck.
"I'm okay," Witt told the crowd as he dusted himself off, according to Newsday. "I've got to go play some hockey. I'm a hockey player. I'm okay. No big deal." "Boy that guy is tough," added the same witness, one of many who saw the event occur.
But the 6'2, 219-pound blueliner downplayed the incident.
"I just got lucky," said Witt, who oddly enough had declined an offer for a drive to Wachovia Center from the team's medical staff just prior to the accident. "Fortunately nothing bad happened. I'm just a little sore."
The Humboldt, Saskatchewan native chose not to call police or get medical care, and played in Tuesday night's 6-2 loss to the Flyers.

Witt is a maniac

By the way someone in one of my leagues is trying to justify trading Frolik and poopy Vanek straight up for Kovalchuk. And the counter party in the league remains quiet and why of course would you make that trade in the first place. You can't trade 2 dimes for a quarter ya know?

Witt is an animal. He gave us the best on ice look at camp two years ago. Than he taped up Nemy to a chair and carried him off. We'll air that one day.

- Pancho Barilla

What you missed last night while you were dissecting Teen Wolf

2009-12-09T13:02:00.002-05:00

Canadiens beat the Senators, 4-1: Is Alexei Kovalev even dressing for the Senators? He was a guy you couldn't miss last year. The power play ran through him and now, I don't even know if he's out there.

Predators beat the Canucks, 4-2: Martin Erat is probably the most underrated player of the decade. Ok, maybe not, but for 7th round pick, he quietly picks up around 50 points a year since the 2001 season.

Flyers beat the Islanders, 6-2: As usual, the cure for an ailing team is to play the Islanders.

Ducks come back to beat the Stars, 4-3 in OT: Neither goaltender was particularly good in this game, but Turco was worse because he got the loss. Also he did one of those things where he saved the breakaway but than slid into the net anyway for a goal.

What you missed last night when you were attacked by a rabid racoon in central park

2009-12-08T12:15:00.003-05:00

Devils shut-out the Sabres, 3-0: Marty ties Sawchuk. Impressive, but I'm sure someone somewhere is trying to argue that most of his shut-outs are the result of "trap hockey." Whoever that is... shut up.

Canadiens beat the Flyers, 3-1: Braydon Coburn made a very unorthodox play on a 2-on-1 that led to the eventual game winner. As Maxim Lapierre was skating down the right wing with the puck, Coburn dove at him at the top of the circle. Lapierre simply, toe dragged around the flying d-man and then fed a pass to Cammalleri who easily scored. Usually the d-man dive might occur lower in the zone, when the forward with the puck has run out of space, but Coburn decided to try something new for his new coach and it failed, spectacurlarly.

Oilers beat the Panthers in the shoot-out, 3-2: As I watched this game, I saw all the empty seats in Florida and really tried to think about how you would sell this game (this particular game) to Floridians. Do they even know where Edmonton is? Is there even anyone on the Oilers you could sell this game around?

Kings beat the Flames, 2-1: Jonathon Quick made some stellar saves and the Kings won an old-school game last night. Scott Parse (who?) scored a high-light reel goal on Kipper when he cut in from the left and some how found the space to tuck a backhand in on the far side.

Maple Leafs beat the Thrashers, 5-2: I have no idea if the Leafs are good now or improving or if Toskala just got repeatedly lucky.

Coyotes shut-out the Wild, 2-0: Something about watching Coyotes home games is depressing. I think its the bad lighting in their arena.

Avalanche shut-out the Blues, 4-0: Peter Budaj is a great backup, but seemingly cannot play more than 3 games in a row.

Capitals shut-out the Lightning, 3-0: Ovy's back and scores 2. Thanks for the rest, NHL. Is he still on pace for 50 in 50?

Hurricanes beat the Penguins, 3-2: Why wasn't Tim Gleason ready for the fight will Bill Guerin? They were lined up next to each other and off the draw Billy drops the mitts, but Gleason plays the puck and its embarrassing and then Billy kind of got beat up a bit.

Bertuzzi

2009-12-08T10:46:00.003-05:00

Your boy is -7 in 29 games for Detroit. Production isn't great either (4 G, 9 A). Not moving the feet or getting to the net. Just not making it happen.

What you missed this past weekend

2009-12-07T10:45:00.004-05:00

Thank you Nemy for finding this and putting this in my life because if he hadn't, I never would have known that Guerin did this ridiculous pose in a pic.

This is all you missed this weekend so get some.

Great seats at the Ranger game last night...me and Nemy were cashew nuts on a super sunday night. I'm tired today and the game was very uneventful except for the 5 minute 5 on 5 powerplay that Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Holmstrom, Rafalski and Lidstrom had. It was truly great to watch even though they didn't score.

Msgless Scotty

Happy Founder's Day

2009-12-04T08:39:00.053-05:00

Today we celebrate the birth of Scotty. Celebrations vary by region but typically include:
- beer
- jerseys
- getting punched by Jim Cummins
- watching hockey
- drunk dialing Marty McSoreley because you lifted his number off of a friend's cell phone

We did a quick Google picture search for "Founder's Day celebration" to see how others around the globe spend the holiday. Here's a taste:

Enjoy the day

- Nemmy

What you missed last night, well this morning, because apparently your cable company dropped the NHL Network

2009-12-03T11:05:00.003-05:00

In the morning, usually over a bowl of Special K with Red Berries, I watched the 6am version of NHL on The Fly: Final on my dvr. I get right to the highlights of each game and therefore can write my impressive recaps below. This morning there was no new episode on my dvr and when I went to the channel directly, it was blank. So my recaps will be based on what I read and can guess happened.

Canucks beat the Devils, 5-2: After the very exciting first period (5 goals!), the Canucks took over and slowly but surely put the Devils away. Goal of the game was the Canucks' 5th - a sweet sauce pass to convert a 2-on-1.

Bruins beat the Lightning, 4-1: Tim Thomas played well! He's getting his groove back. I don't know what else happened. Is Marco Sturm the B's most consistent forward?

Panthers beat the Avalanche in the shoot-out, 6-5: Stephen Weiss

Wild beat the Predators in OT, 5-4: ?

What you missed last night while you had the Versus game on mute because you can't listen to Joe Beninati or you will light yourself on fire

2009-12-02T10:52:00.004-05:00

Instead of awful play-by-play is listened to the new Black Keys album, "Blakroc" Its solid.

Anyway, I've been away for a while. First I was here:
That the Perrito Moreno glacier in Argentina. I know, I took a early winter vacation to see more ice. After my South American jaunt, I flew back for my cousin's wedding. So it was pretty much 2 weeks without hockey. It was weird.

Anyway, onto last nights games:

Leafs shut-out the Canadiens, 3-0: Joey MacDonald and The Monster combined for the shut-out. Gustavsson had to leave after the first because of an elevated hear-rate. Ok. The Canadiens stink and to shake up their line up they traded Kyle Chipchura to the Ducks for a 4th round pick. Here's what you need to do Gainey, trade Price.

Sharks beat the Senators, 5-2: Its not the same when you face your old team at your new team's barn. This game should have been about the return of Milan Milchalek - he was studdly last night. 2 goals to Heatley's zero. Did Cheechoo even play?

Hawks beat the BJs in the shoot-out, 4-3: The thousand round shoot-out was boring. The best move/goal of the night went to Versteeg. On the first goal he had not one, but two toe drags to beat Jackets' d-men and then slid the puck past Mason.

Kings win over the Ducks, 4-3: Correy Perry had a sick tip-in goal and now has a 19 game point streak. The first goal of the Kings featured the sickest backhand sauce pass and subsequent knock down I have ever seen

It's fake but it's solid

2009-12-02T07:47:00.002-05:00

If you watched this clip and said to yourself, "There's no way you can curl and play hockey on the same sheet because curling requires a raised bumpy ice surface and the rock is way too heavy for any stick blah blah blah" you should punch yourself in the dick.

As if playing goalie for the Panthers isn't bad enough

2009-12-01T10:43:00.003-05:00

Poor Keith Ballard.

Mike Rupp had a hat trick as the Pens dance all over Lundquist's corpse.

Ovy is injured and could sit for a few games due to suspension.

He should have sat for this one.

Savvy - signed, sealed, delivered? TSN is reporting 7-years at $4.2MM per. Value!

Kiprusoff, Miller, and Anderson post shutouts.

- Nemmy

Was anyone watching the Isles/Devils game the other day?

2009-11-30T14:49:00.002-05:00

The Devils were playing a guy named Vladimir Zharkov. Doc Emrick pronounced it "Jarkoff". It was awesome.

That's it.

- Nemmy

Bobble bress

2009-11-27T22:29:00.000-05:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T01:13:00.005-05:00

We love Thanksgiving. It is a day to get together with your family and friends and show appreciation for what you have. The most American of any holiday, Thanksgiving is a chance to share a meal and show gratitude regardless of race or religion.

Last Thanksgiving it felt like the world was collapsing, this year is much different. We aren't out of the woods yet but at least now we see a light at the end of the tunnel. That's one reason to be thankful - we always have hope that tomorrow can be better than today.

In hockey terms think about this: it wasn't long ago that the Penguins were broke and moving to Kansas City. Now they have a couple superstars, another Cup and a new arena coming next season. What can happen with the Coyotes? No matter how bad things get there's always next year.

We are thankful for so many things but in particular the folks who stopped by to check out the site - we hope we entertained you. Especially those readers who are overseas away from their families - we are forever thankful for your sacrifice. Bytheway, when we mention the folks overseas we are talking about our friends in the armed forces not 2Man producer Bress who is at a gay retreat in South America.

Enjoy a meal, your family and the football games. Tonight the Jackets play Ottawa and LA is in Vancouver but we hope you take the day off on Friday to relax with some awesome afternoon NHL games.

It's been a trying year and you deserve some sick highlights.

Thank you.

- The 2Man

Morning question

2009-11-25T09:13:00.002-05:00

Which NHLer does my potato n egg most closely resemble?

I see former Whaler, Ranger, etc. Nick Kyrpeos.

Yes? No?

- Nemmy

Only 1 game last night...

2009-11-25T08:00:00.005-05:00

...and I missed it because I has couple drinks and fell asleep on my floor.

Anyways

Check out this goal from Antione Vermette. Nash calls for the puck behind the net then does his very best Jagr impression and uses his frame to keep the D off him as he walks out in front. Vermette (after passing to Nash) gets to the doorstep and receives a behind-the-back pass and buries it. Is this a set play?

That was really it. We have an official half day in the 2Man offices as the staff gets ready for Thanksgiving festivities. It's early yet but it looks like Scotty and I will be the only ones making into work here. Our interns all went boozing last night and our secretary is out on maternity leave. Since I doubt anyone in America sitting behind a computer will actually be working we will try to fill the blog with some mindless hockey stuff to keep people occupied. Tonight we have 14 games on and Hossa returns to action. I think Scotty is trolling the internet for ridiculous youtubes of fat kittens as we speak. Stay tuned.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night

2009-11-24T07:35:00.007-05:00

Predators over the Red wings 3-1
Erat gets some space and rips

Isles over Leafs 4-3 in OT (Roloson with 7000 saves)
Jeff "the Truth" Tambellini rips high glove.

Rangers over Jackets 7-4
Jared Boll with a goal and 2 fights.

Bruins beat the Blues 4-2
Savard's first game back. Lucic continues to dominate.

Avalanche over Flyers 5-4
Flyers claw back to make it close. Jeff Carter with 2.

The Oil over the Coyotes 4-0.
Jeff Drouin-Deslauriers with the SO.

Ducks beats the Flames 3-2 in the shootout.
We love Iginla. He starts the rush then finishes the play to send the game to OT. Jokinen's pass wasn't meant for him! What a captain.

Stars over the Hurricanes 2-0
Morrow sets the tone early!

Senators beat the Caps 4-3 in OT
Fisher keeps tearing it up.

Penguins over the Panthers 3-2 in OT
The new Florida 3rd unis. Sick!

- Nemmy

This is what you missed this weekend

2009-11-23T08:20:00.001-05:00

Please discuss

- Nemmy

Sex on a Saturday

2009-11-21T16:49:00.010-05:00

So I was typing in the fantasy search bar for Mike Smith so I began to type Smith and it auto filled in Tyson Sexsmith. Am I really looking for Tyson Sexsmith computer? Who the hell is Tyson sexsmith? What the hell is going on?

A goalie for the Worcester Sharks of the AHL. Why is he in the fantasy database if he's never played an NHL game? Help me help you guys over there.

While I was down in L's cove down here in Massapequa Park I discovered some old bad-ass at the heart of it all pics of the 2man crew.

Nemy with a bad ass spray on Bartemis our direcTOR.

Sancho Barbonite in his most bad-ass form taking a draw, in a sic old school pen's jerz with Abe Lincoln Artemis in the background ready to pounce like Chahhhhhhllleeey .... Notice the cool make upped scar on my eye brow The All-time classic 2man logo...me beating around Nemy with beautiful blond highlights. And a pic of Gio the Cardinal during War-times.

- Barbacoa

Friday Afternoon Domination

2009-11-20T15:07:00.003-05:00

Rick Tocchet - 1992-93, Pittsburgh Penguins

Regular season: 80 games played, 48 goals, 61 assists, 109 points, 252 PIM
Playoffs: 12 games played, 7 goals, 6 assists, 13 points, 24 PIM.

Domination. Have a great weekend.

- Nemmy

What you missed last night because you had money on the Dolphin game

2009-11-20T09:00:00.004-05:00

Scotty and I don't know how to write a haiku so we need to do something different this week. Instead of the regular recaps we're going to give a quick and appropriate response if by chance a coworker comes up to your desk talk about the game.

Q: Did you see the Canes came back to beat the Leafs 6-5 in the shootout?
A: Holy shit what a game! By the time Tim Gleason scored his 2nd of the night I was already on my 4th diaper.

Side note: Lee Stempniak's goal was everything that's good in this world.

Q: Did you see that Boston held off Atlanta 4-3 last night?
A: It was good to see Ryder get it going and Bergeron's SO move shook Scotty off his bar stool.

Q: How about Nashville beating Jersey 3-2 in the shootout?
A: That game was basically Parise vs. Arnott. Why can't we get any Nashville games in HD?

Side note: Scotty, how about the fact that Erat got the winner? Martin Erat.

Q: Did you see the beating Pittsburgh took? They lost to Ottawa last night 6-2.
A: Rough 3rd period for the Pens but how about Chris Neil? He is officially the 2009 beastmaster. Who else stands in there like that??????

Q: How about St. Louis beating the Coyotes in OT?
A: Tkachuk's goal was scary. When he goes to net like that it's like standing in traffic at the Port Authority. Johnson's OT winner was very Brian Leetch. Very Brian Leetch.

Q: Did you see the BJs beatup on the Stars 4-1?
A: Turco was terrible last night but didn't get much help. Huselius with a shorty and a PPG - HEAVY BIKE.

Q: Chicago whooped the Flames 7-1. Blowout in Calgary huh?
A: Last night we were talking about how Jokinen needs to pick up the scoring pace. He had a PPG last night. Let's see who else gets into a shouting match in Calgary.

Q: I heard the Ducks won 4-3 in OT vs. Tampa Bay.
A: For the Ducks to make up for their shit goaltending they need games like this where Getzlaf, Ryan, Selanne and Niedemayer all contribute. Stamkos is the real deal. Sophomore heavy bike.

- Nemmy

2 Things

2009-11-19T14:09:00.004-05:00

Brad May scored last night by the way. I can't even believe....I can't BELIEVE they did not call that a goal. Now obviously I'm a little salty because I started Howard last night in one league but looking through the lens of truth at what happened it was totally a goal. May throws a whimmy back-hand at the net in case you missed it...in live play you didn't see anything and than the whistle blows and one of the wings throws his hands up. We watch the replay several times with the announcers with sound so you could clearly see the puck in the net..1..2..3..4..5 secs pass and than the whistle blows. The ref initially says no goal so you need evidence to overturn which if it went up to Toronto there would be. The ref wants to continue play and TORONTO not the ref TORONTO which I have never seen actually calls for it to go up-stairs for review. They wave it off. What the hell did you want another look for than. It went in...five seconds later the whistle blows. I'm missing the point totally I guess.

Secondly...James Van Riemsdyk is 16 million right now. Lets look at his game-log as of late because he has done something that in fantasy I have NEVER ever seen adn you probably won't see for a very long time.

First off, 6 goals, 11 assists in 15 games. Yes! American born...6'3" 205lbs. From Old Bridge, New Jersey...scored my first ever away travel goal against that team...the Old Bridge Wings. Making a case for an olympic spot. He'll most likely have to wait four years but 1000.

3 games without a point in his rookie campaign. But most impressive...truly unbelievable is in the last 5 games, he has 4 goals...ALL of which are the GWG. Carrying fantasy teams right now...just carrying them. 2 out of the 4 games were big wins so it was by chance obviously however the last 2 games were 3-2 wins...yes!!!! I like Philly...i really do...I did last year...they need to just validate me and make it far this year. Ton of upside on that squad. Carter, Richards, Gagne, Briere, Hartnell, Pronger, Coburn, Van Riemsdyk, Giroux, Emery, Boucher backing up. Good stuff there.

I don't know why I find this funny but this is me and Nemmy in our minds all day everyday...yours truly at the 2man.

- Claude Giroux

What you missed last night because you were napping before your 11:30 mens league game

2009-11-19T08:57:00.005-05:00

I'm having a potato & egg sandwich the size of Robert Lang's head right now.

Florida over Buffalo 6-2
I think Ryan Miller is a beast but last night it looked like he was melting alive. He made a bonehead move that lead to Weiss's goal and then Buffalo hung him out for the next few. He's the man and maybe he holds the key to the US medalling this winter but because he had a bad night I'm going to put that sissy looking shot of him focusing pre-game.

Terrible

Dallas over Detroit 3-1
How many fantasy owners had Jimmy Howard and Alex Auld starting? Zetterberg's goal was nice with Hank flying down the right side with one hand on his stick using his left to shield the puck then a sick roof. Brad May continues to beat Dallas Drake at his own game and fought Krys Barch and got a goal taken away in the 3rd. Cue up another round of whistle/non-whistle/intent to whistle debate.

Phoenix over Minnesota 3-2
I couldn't pay attention to these highlights because I was amazed how jam packed the Xcel Energy center was for a game against the Coyotes. Impressive.

Edmonton over Colorado 6-2
I thought Colorado got back to winning ways last night but then they go into Edmonton and get smoked in a sloppy affair. Hemsky with one of the tougher empty net goals of recent memory.

Philly over LA 3-2
I read somewhere that ARod has a painting of himself as a centaur in his apartment. Today I see the NY Post with Jeter and his RIDICULOUS girlfriend in St. Barts. The Phillies own the Mets and the Flyers can't lose even with Boucher in net. Everything sucks right now. I would give up a finger to have Utley or Richards on my teams.

- Nemmy

It's Wednesday Afternoon...

2009-11-18T13:52:00.002-05:00

...take it easy.

- Nemmy

Vociferous on a Wednesday

2009-11-18T10:39:00.005-05:00

Nemy sent me this but it has to be on the blog....what a celebration. This is right up there when NYU played Columbia our freshmen year and Todd jumped on the boards, skates on top of the railing that separates the boards from the glass to celebrate his hat trick. At least this goal was nasty enough to merit a celebration finish like this one.

This is Nest the day before he left on his South American vacation. He is attending a place near Antarctica so he came over to borrow some of my skii wear. Ess looks like a Japanese ninja...all you see is his eyes...its like the Geico dollar stack went ninja on us!

Here is an awesome glossy finished hockey card of the power I, Miguel Richards in shorthanded goal format written on the top. Sick! Nemy got this in a pack of Opee-chee hockey cards he bought wasted with me at Models on Saturday. Bruno and Arnott were also in that deck. Juice!

A summation of great celebrations

When and if it gets cold enough people!