Scotsmedicman

At LaSt!!!

2007-11-11T23:30:00.001Z

Well you will be pleased to know that I managed to get myself a short notice cancellation space on an ALS course........in Wales!!

So I popped into the car and nipped down (4 1/2hrs drive) and booked myself into the hotel which was next to the hospital (very nice too I may add) and I hit the books, studied like a mad man and eventually it was my turn to do my assessments, now the nice course organiser left my pre-course assessment at the hotel reception for me and I had to complete that and take it with me on day one, I did this as the good student and sat and listened to the lectures and participated in the practical skill stations, of which there were a few!

It came to the afternoon of the second day far too quickly, this meant written and then practical assessments. So I went in with 11 other students and we sat the written multi-guess erm multiple choice paper and then it was out and straight into a practical assessment, then when you finished this you were asked to step outside and wait to see if you were successful in your practicals, if you were un-successful you were given the chance to re-sit one more attempt.....I was in the lucky few who did not need a re-sit so we had to just hang around waiting on the final results....

Mr SMM?

yes?

Congratulations, we are pleased to tell you that you have passed!!!!!!!

YIPEE! I was soooo excited, I am glad that is over with, only one more course this year.......why do I keep doing it to myself??? Why Why why????

Back to work.....for a rest

2007-10-15T11:15:00.000+01:00

Well I have been on annual leave for the last 2 weeks and in that time I think I have had 1 full day to myself, I had planned to do my ALS course during this time, but it had to be cancelled because of a problem that no-one could have possibly considered. So this left me with lots of time to do nothing...Oh no I mentioned to the administrator at St. Andrew's Edinburgh HQ and she instantly smiles and I find myself on duties, attending meetings and planning for forthcoming events. Now I am not moaning I really enjoyed getting back to basics in regards to patient care...plasters, triangular bandages etc etc and also getting an insight into the running of the corps and seeing the pressures that we (corps members) put onto the office staff at times when we could probably get off our arses and do it ourselves (but it's in the office anyway so THEY should do it........) I have enjoyed my time off, but I will be glad to get back to work this evening for a rest!!!

Oh did I tell you I was on holiday again for 3weeks as from Sunday??

Yipee Amsterdam Here I Come!!!!!!

ALaS it's not to be

2007-10-15T11:12:00.000+01:00

Well I was all ready for my ALS course and then I received the email...."Due to some unfortunate circumstances totally outwith our control we are having to cancel your course that you were looking forward to doing, yeah the one you have been studying for the last 3 months, yip that's the one that you were bricking yourself about.......We don't know when the next one is going to be but if you want you can wait a while a we will get back to you"

Well it didn't actually say that, but to me it did..... Oh well just got to find another one and see if I can be squeezed onto that one at short notice with little studying time!!!!

And it AlL Starts again!

2007-09-25T00:56:00.000+01:00

Well here I am again, about to embark upon yet another course, I am about a week away from putting myself through another two days of sheer hell, all for the patient care I should add....

I have managed to secure myself a place on an ALS course, these are few a far between at the minute because of the influx on new Doctors, who are superior in their requirements to get a place on these type of courses. I have luckily managed to get a course in Glasgow, which will be much better than having to travel to Birmingham or Inverness like some of my friends for their courses.

I am looking forward to the course, it teaches Advanced Life Support, with the take being on In-Hospital Team based resuscitation, this is different from the lone responder, ALS skills that you are taught at Ambulance College, there is more emphasis placed on the roles and responsibilities and also working as a well rehearsed / oiled team, utilising the skills that others bring with them. I have been speaking with some colleagues who have done the course and they say that they found the chemistry aspect challenging, blood gases, results etc and also found it strange stepping back and "Running the resus" remotely.

I am obviously nervous about it, I like a challenge and hope that I will enjoy this as much as the PhEC course I did in July, I will keep you all updated.

Weekend of Fun!!

2007-09-10T15:46:00.000+01:00

We this is my first chance in ages to actually sit down and blog, I have been busy working, with some interesting calls and I will blog these later. But I have had a full on weekend of partying.

It started on Friday with a friends wedding, I met up with some friends first of all in a local pub, then we went to the Gold Club, where the ceramony and reception were being held. I was expecting to see Kal there as he told me he would be going, but I later found out he was working. The night went well, the Bride and Groom were nervous, the Bride looked lovely. It was great to see so many old faces, some which I had not seen for a couple of years, so it was good to get together and catch up, the alcohol and music helped and by the end of the night I was grinding and dancing my ass off with GB on the dance floor to the B52's and numerous other good tunes.

Saturday saw a more relaxed day, then working for St. Andrew's on the Saturday night at the Corn Exchange, covering some gala dinner until the wee small hours of Sunday.....

Sunday saw me up bright and early to start teaching / instructing on a course which ran until 4pm. Getting home I rest and chill for a while, grab a bite to eat and head for the shower, make myself presentable for the next on-slaught of party time..... ERASURE CONCERT!!!!

I meet up with some friends in the Doctors pub, then we head along to the Chesser bar to catch up with some other friends, some drinking takes place and then onto the Corn Exchange. Now I have been to this place the night before on duty at the gala dinner, I have been here many times on duty, but I have never been there as a patron during a concert..(have been here for Christmas nights out) It was great, the music was fantastic, the drinks were flowing, the dance floor was jumping and the atmosphere was increadible....

as you can see from the video!!

And now I have to behave and go back to work and be the professional that I am supposed to be.....Booooooh

Oh PhEC!!!

2007-07-16T13:49:00.001+01:00

Well it has been ages since I have updated you all on what I have been doing. I am sorry that I am such a poor blogger at the minute, but what with work, volunteering and studying I have not had much time to sit down and blog.

As you will be aware, I have been studying for some courses I recently completed, here goes with the update on them:

Minor injuries, this was a fantastic course which covered various aspects of primary care in relation to the management of patients with minor injuries, we covered management of soft tissue injuries (strains, sprains etc) along with wound management (burns and opthalmic inuries were also discussed in detail, with some very interesting pictures to re inforce the topics!) there were also some great sessions on wound closure either using medical glues or old fashioned sutures, along with the assessment of the wound and the decission on how to close them.

Pre Hospital Emergency Care (PhEC) Course, well to say that you hit the ground running is a bit of an understatement, I spent 2 1/2 days cramming information from the excellent faculty staff into my already full brain, they had a great mix on the faculty, coming from General Practice, In Hospital A&E / Critical Care, Nursing, Fire and medical responders who all had so much information to share. I was in a syndicate of 5, which was made up from a GP who was also a Senior Medical Officer in the armed forces, an A&E Dr from Edinburgh who I knew (but didn't know was coming on the course) a Cruise Liner Nursing Sister and a Medical Student, we worked well as a team and there was a good skills mix, which allowed us to support each other with different ideas and previous experiences. On the final day after we had gone through our multiple choice exams and our OSCE we were eventually given our results......"I am glad to say Mr SMM that you have passed all the necessary criteria and therefore you have achieved your PhEC Certificate.....oh by the way you got a Merit :) Well Done" I got a Merit......well you could have knocked me over with a feather, I was so surprised, I was not surprised I passed, but to gain a merit status

Whilst I was in London on my PhEC course I thought that I would try and arrange a ride along with the London Ambulance Service (Since I have a great friend who works for them I contacted her and asked if this would be ok) I was afforded the opportunity to spend two shifts with her, working from two different stations over the two days. I was impressed with some of their kit that they have available to them, although they do predominantly the same work as us in Scotland, there are subtile differences. I think I bumped into Random whilst I was in A&E, but I didn't get a chance to speak to him. I got several strange looks (uniform differencies) and the accent confused some folk (since 2 out of the 3 on the Ambulance had a strong Scottish accent!) I thouroughly enjoyed my time with the LAS and would like to thank everyone who made me feel welcome.

So what else? well in between studying and working I have also been on duty with St. Andrew's First Aid, I have covered some interesting events, the Moon Walk, Royal Highland Show, Blondie and Pink concerts, these have been fun, but it is difficult because St. Andrew's do not recognise any advanced skills and therefore as a Paramedic, I am expected to work as a First Aider, now this can at times be difficult especially when you are out on patrol with a British Red Cross first aider who is also an Ambulance Technician, you can imagine the looks that you get when the event Ambulance Crew turn up and see you both dealing with a patient but only as a first aider......

So this is my only day off this week and I am sitting in a coffee shop with a massive mug of Latte and enjoying the quietness of life, no rushing around between work, teaching First Responders, Covering first aid duties / events and studying for courses.......

I will try and keep up to date, but hey it's me!

Courses courses courses.....

2007-05-15T13:25:00.000+01:00

Yeah as you may have guessed I am enrolling onto some courses over the next coming months. I have completed a neonatal resuscitation course and that gave me the "learning" bug again, so I looked on the limited web pages for NHS courses and I have found myself enrolling in the following to keep me busy:

Critical Care study day, 1 day course at St. Johns Hospital, which covered the care of the critically injured patient, from the time they arrive in hospital to their discharge (some aspects were not relevant to my role, but still interesting).
Managing the Critical ill child, another 1 day study course at St. Johns Hospital, I always feel very aware of my limited paediatric knowledge, hence the course!
Pre Hospital Emergency Care (PHEC) Course, this is a 3 day course run by BASICS Education in London.
Advanced Life Support (ALS) Course, this is a two 1/2 day course run in Glasgow, which covers further aspects of "Advanced" life support skills that I have already learnt as a Paramedic.
Minor Injuries Course, this course covers, strangely as it says minor injuries, the assessment and treatment including suturing and wound glue to name but a few of the skills.

I also have plans to learn Polish and want to learn BSL, Kal has a basic knowledge so I may have to call him and ask for s few lessons... On the subject of Kal, we are still friends, I think I am getting used to the idea of not having him around as much as before, I was chatting to one of his friends yesterday and it sounds like he is doing well, I am trying hard not to call / text him so that I am not being a stalker.

I hope that these courses will provide me with the chance to blog about the content, the style of teaching and mostly the assessments, which to be perfectly honest about I am shitting myself.

I am really looking forward to the challenges of the courses and want to enjoy them, maybe this will push me further into academia and encourage me to continue towards my Diploma in Immediate Medical Care!

Observers curse

2007-05-11T01:33:00.000+01:00

Observers....

I have had observers out with me in the past, they range from first aiders to student nurses and even Kal when he was in Ambulance school! There is a common curse which follows observers, they come out and get nothing of interest. This seems to always be the case, the last two observers have had very little action, one got to see me deal with a particularly nasty scald and the other got all fairly minor run of the mill stuff. I have had a member of EMDC staff out and they managed to clock up a few jobs, but in their own word "no trauma again!" apparently each time they have been out they never get trauma and the most blood they have seen is when a patient is cannulated!

I have been asked to take out some more EMDC staff in the near future, maybe they will be more lucky than their colleagues and get something interesting.......but I doubt it!

Strange Scottish Whether

2007-04-25T13:20:00.000+01:00

It was a strange shift, nothing to taxing for me and my colleague, however the whether made for interesting driving. as I was driving through to work it was a warm sunny evening, the type of night you enjoy walking along the beech or sitting outside with friends in a beer garden. I however was not going to taste beer or any alcohol except for the strong heavy smell coming from my patients who had consumed some light refreshments earlier in the evening, which mixed with the excessive tablets they had taken caused their loved ones concern enough to dial 999.

Over the 20 miles I travel to work I manage to listen to some music, think about various things and get myself ready to face the public, I think about what is in store for me tonight, what vehicle I might be on, who I'm working with and generally life. I also think I should be out with friends getting drunk in the sunshine.

After checking our vehicle and having a cuppa we settle down and wait. We get a couple of jobs in the area, we chat en route and both enjoy the heat, however, the whether feels different, muggy, heavy air, like a storm is brewing. We switch roles halfway through our shift, I now drive and as we are pulling into the A&E to collect a patient to transfer to The Royal the rain starts spitting. The patient is loaded, his friends are waiting in their cars to follow us through, the 25 mile journey passing my house, to the hospital. Once on the motorway the rain is now heavier, the need to have the wiper blades running constantly to keep the windscreen clear, the as we are entering the city limits and coming onto the bypass the skies, which only 3 hours ago were clear and filled with warm sunshine are now totally black and the rain is pouring torrentially, massive down pouring, causing mini rivers to develop on the carriageway, flooding down the hills to meet you, wipers on full speed and just managing to cope. We arrive at the Royal and it is cooler, freshly bathed air blows around the ambulance bay, the rain has passed, it has washed away the stale smell of vomit and alcohol from the air, it is fresh now, almost tropical as the heat builds up again, but with the dampness still in the air. I love our whether, so many surprises around the next bend, maybe we'll get snow next!!!!

Time passes

2007-04-20T12:09:00.000+01:00

Well it's been a fortnight since Kal and I broke up, I've seen him a few times since, some were more difficult than others, there have been moments of silence, moments of pain and lots of tears either alone or with others. It is still difficult not seeing him, but I think it is getting easier, I still think about him, waken in the morning with thoughts of him, but it doesn't hurt as much as it has not hearing from him, not receiving the "Good morning / night" text messages which were our way of communicating when we were on different shifts and had not see each other for a few days.

I know that it will get easier, people keep telling me that, wit time I'm sure it will.

I was around at Kal's earlier this week collecting some stuff, that was a difficult time for me it mad things feel so final, so much so that when I said goodbye to Kal and he said "yeah see you" I just wanted to die, the pain was so immense, it felt so impersonal, I know he didn't mean to be, because I could feel his pain as well when we hugged, but it still hurt. I've been reading his blog, I was surprised he blogged about the break up, he is not normally one to discuss his personal feelings, I know he will have struggled with his emotions before he blogged his thoughts and feelings. Kal is good at hiding his thoughts and feelings, but inside I know he'll be struggling and hurting, he has had longer to come to terms with the break up, longer to become accustomed to single life, but he's also had to cope with these mix of feelings and emotions whilst still trying to be my boyfriend.

I hope he is well as I don't want to seem to be bothering him and bombarding him with text messages, I want to stay in contact and be friends, but I don't want to be "chasing" him either to the point that we fall out and fight or make him feel uncomfortable or pissed off when I contact him, so I'm going to let him contact me, give him his space, his time, his choice!

Birthday Cheer?

2007-04-17T09:40:00.000+01:00

Well it was Kal's birthday yesterday, I arranged to meet up with him after he had finished at a work related meeting. We met up in one of our regular coffee shops and sat, I didn't really say much and neither did he, it was difficult, we both finished our coffee and he walked me to the car to collect his birthday card and gifts, they were gifts that I had bought when we were together, I had changed the card obviously as he is no longer my boyfriend so the original one was inappropriate. During our strained conversation I found out that he was going for a meal with his flat mate and one of his friends (that hurt, because I had been obviously as his boyfriend planning to take him to a rather exclusive place for a romantic meal) then on for drinks, which I was invited along to afterwards.

I thought about going, it tore me apart not going, but it also would have torn me up more if I'd have been drunk, I might have said or worse still done something totally inappropriate and felt guilty afterwards, I text Kal to apologise for my absence and wished him all the best, I think in my heart I did the right thing, I think we both might have hurt more if we had met up for drinks, I hope I'm not wrong and I've distanced him from me, that was not my intention at all.

Happy (belated) Birthday Kal x

Coffee & Cake

2007-04-14T23:27:00.000+01:00

Well I arranged to meet up with Kal, I know you will probably think it's too soon and a stupid thing to do, but it was something that had to be done.

We met in neutral territory, somewhere we both feel completely familiar with. We sat in silence, picking at threads of conversation, trying to be strong, but I could see the pain in his eyes and felt the pain as he stroked my back and brushed against my leg with his knee. I also felt a closeness to him, knowing the pain he is feeling, because I'm feeling it as well.

We had settled into conversation by the second round of drinks, I still hurt and feel like crying, but I haven't so far so that must be good. He looks good as well, but also looks like he needs a massive hug, I just wanted to shove the table out the way and hold him tight in my arms, he needs to cry, he looks like he's bottling it all up and I know what he's like, he'll become more withdrawn!

We walked out to our cars and both stood there not knowing what to do, in the past we would kiss, now though....

We both at the same time walked forward and hugged, a tight, secure hold, not caring who was watching and disapproving, we both needed it! It will get easier is what I keep hearing, I hope so, I want him back as my best friend, I know deep down it's over, but that's not to say we need to be enemies, we may have to work together after all!

My questions

2007-04-13T00:12:00.000+01:00

How?

That is one of the questions that keeps going round in my head, How did I not see all this coming, there were as far as I can see no signs whatsoever of Kal wanting to finish with me! I loved being around him, feeling him touching me, holding me, yeah sure we had our differences, but doesn't everyone? We were talking not so long ago about summer holidays, planning on taking our parents away for a weekend, was it all lies, was he really ever in love with me?

Why?

That is another question I can't answer, why so suddenly did he stop being in love with me, why didn't we talk, did he try and tell me but I missed the signals?

I know he has been thinking about it for a while, he told me when we split, but surely I should have picked up on something, was I so self absorbed on making sure we had fun, making sure I looked out for him that I totally misunderstood him and his responses to me? Was I such a shit boyfriend, lover, partner?

I was speaking to a colleague today and she, like so many other colleagues said she was so surprised because we seemed so close, so good, so well suited to each other. I know what she means, I have had long term relationships before, but I've never been so totally and utterly devastated by breaking up, it doesn't feel like anything I've experienced in a break-up, more like when I heard about the death of a very good childhood friend, I am totally at a loss.

My station manager was good, today was the first time I've seen him since Kal broke up with me, he was spot on in his reactions, he knew just how much to say and more importantly what not to say.

I have just called Kal, I know I shouldn't have, I was hoping it would just be his voice mail, but he picked up, he was back from his day's away, working nights but on a break, we spoke, I felt guilty, I feel worse now than I did before I called and yes I know I shouldn't have, Kal I know you'll read this, I'm sorry for being short and a bit shity towards you, it was probably not a good idea, but I had to hear your voice, to know you were safe, I still care deeply about you, I still love you,

I'm sitting at my thinking spot, you know where Kal, totally alone, listening to F1 and the song that is playing sums up my feelings right now, 'Lost without you', I don't know who the female is, maybe Delta Goodrum?, but that's how I feel!

Plea e call me, if you want to and can face speaking. X

Still hurting

2007-04-11T22:40:00.000+01:00

Well it's been 3 day's since I've had contact from Kal, he is having time to himself. I know that he's ok because he's blogging, so I'm happy that he is doing ok, but I still miss him.

I have had lots of hugs, kind words and cups of tea offered from friends and colleagues, this is nice, it's good to see that people I've known for years are rallying around to offer support, however, it would still be nice to hear from Kal just a text or a blog comment or even a phone call so that I can get to tell him I care, I still want to be friends, I want to be there for him, especially with his Birthday coming soon, it will be difficult for me, but I want him to know I still care a lot for him,

I can't just turn off the feelings, compassion and love I had for him over the last two and a half years! Somewhere in my heart I still love him x

I still think about him first thing every morning and last thing at night.

thoughts and feelings

2007-04-09T17:17:00.000+01:00

I lie here, sun streaming through the cracks of the blinds, the world going about it's business, people laughing, people celebrating Easter with their loved ones. Time passes slowly, I know I have been watching the clock tick through every minute for the last two hours, like a bug struggling to get free from treacle, I feel safe here, under the duvet, knowing I cannot get upset if I don't think about it, but I do think about it, I always used to think about Kal, first though when I woke and my last as I slipped into sleep. I was lying the other day, slipping off and could see the happy times, his face, I could feel his breath on me, I so long to feel that again, to know everything will be fine but it's not going to happen. I was jolted awake by my guardian angel, who knew there was more it wasn't the right time to sleep I needed to be awake, to be strong to be alive and get out there and face the world. I have to force myself to shower, to shave to put on that brave face because things will get better, people do care, but I care too, I care about hurting, I care about upsetting those who care for me, I care about getting on with life and having to go through the anguish of breaking the news of the break-up. I was asked last night by a lovely colleague if I 'felt better' as I had been off sick and I burst into tears and ran off to hide, I managed to tell her what was wrong, but I felt such a fool not being able to talk. Kal always said I needed to talk more about my feelings, I was a good listener, I still am, but I'm shit at letting go of my thoughts and feelings, maybe if I'd spoke more.......maybe

And now it hurts

2007-04-08T13:25:00.000+01:00

I can now sit a write this, it has been 72hrs of complete a utter agony, I have been totally devastated with what has happened. As you may know I have been going out with Kal for the last 2 1/2yrs and over that period we have had some amazing times, however on Thursday evening we met up and the news was broken, he still loves and cares for me, but not enough to be in love with me, as you might guess this was a total shock to me, yes we have fought and had disagreements but nothing that we haven't fixed. I have spent many many hours agonising and wondering why, what, how and still not came to any conclusions. I met with Kal yesterday and had another long painful, but honest talk, we both said things that hurt, I've done things over the last 48hrs that upset Kal, caused him anguish and pain, it wasn't as blackmail or punishment just not thinking and being so self absorbed with the pain I was feeling I couldn't see the pain other's felt for and with me. I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has text me since they found out, I would also like to say to Kal "friends, no matter when it is, if you need me call" I wish him all the luck in the world, hope he finds happiness one day and I hope he doesn't feel half the pain I've gone through, but if he is hurt, upset, worried or just needs to cry, drink tea or have a hug I'll be there, cup, hankies and arms ready. I love you Kal, as a friend and still somewhere in my heart as a lover x

Long time coming

2007-04-04T08:26:00.000+01:00

Life is strange, people drift into and out of life, some at the blink of an eye. Life deals some people a bad hand, knocking them time and time again.

When people are exposed to situations they react differently, screams and shouts, tears and quietness, laughter and loudness. There are so many reactions and combinations that you never know what's coming. As health care professionals we have the challenging task of dealing with emotions, either over the phone or face to face, we know what's happening to that loved one, we have done what we can....flip that around, we now become the family member, the friend, the partner, how do we react, how should we react?

The mind is wonderful, we store images, memories, thoughts and feelings all pushing to come forward, but we keep them hidden, under control, because we don't like showing our emotions. Unfortunately there are occasions when you cannot control them, something triggers a flood of emotions, usually a build up of smaller issues then BANG the tears, the crying, the screaming.

People are somewhat different in what they want from other's, the person who wants held, but is too frightened to ask, the person who needs to talk but thinks no-one will listen, the lover who needs love, the child who needs attention, but sits alone in the busy school yard, the noisy person too shy to speak to you! All these and more are common, combine these traits with the emotions which are locked away and there is undoubtedly a ticking bomb that is waiting to go off. Think about your friends, family, loved one's, when did you last sit and really listen, when did you hold them tight, when did you last tell them 'I'm here if you want to talk', when did you last say 'I love you, you're special or even hey how are you?'

Take the time to say it, either face to face, over the phone or in a note, email or letter, because you never know what's around the corner, will you get that second chance?

Sunday Morning Breakfast

2006-09-24T12:12:00.000+01:00

Well I am sitting here after the best breakfast in the world.... Bacon, Banana, Brie, sweet waffles, maple syrup and bagels with cranberries and walnuts on the side with fresh coffee and tea.

We were treated to a lovely meal last night with a lovely friend of Kal's and her two kids, then we drank wine and went to see a show in the local village hall and had more wine after the show. We decided to invite R and her two kids around for breakfast this morning, so the kitchen was buzzing and the smell of fresh coffee and bacon was wafting around the house by 0930hrs and then I went for a shower and asked Kal to look after the bacon.... bad move, burn offerings were being pulled out the over, so Kal had to dash to the shop in the next village to get the extra emergency bacon.

So in the end all 7 of us had the best feast going and it all turned out alright in the end. Now the 4 kids are running around burning of the carbohydrates and energy they have just consumed and the 3 of us adults are sipping tea!

How nice :)

I'm back again (part 2)

2006-07-22T17:51:00.000+01:00

Well it is the morning after the wedding, everyone who stayed in the hotel meets up in the restaurant for a champagne breakfast, we all chat and remember the occurrences of the previous day and one by one the group gets smaller as we all drift off home. It was such a nice day; Kal and I set of and stop on the way so that I can take pictures of the countryside for Nursie999 (she forgot her camera the night before). Kal and I arrive back in Edinburgh and he starts packing for college, I head home and get an early night for my next week in Theatres.

Monday morning arrives and I’m back in theatres, I meet up with J and we both head into our allocated anaesthetic room to set up, now by this stage she is expecting some help, so I ask how many patients and what procedures etc so that I can gather up the necessary equipment, we are ready by 0845 so it's coffee and bacon rolls. This is our routine for the remaining two weeks, set up coffee, patients, getting the consultants to sign me off on my various required procedures on the way!

Week 3 arrives and this is my final week to make sure I am happy with my new found practical skills (totally different on a real patient). I had been working at T in the Park over the weekend and chat to some of the staff about the event and the workload etc. The patients start rolling into the 9 main theatres, consultant surgeons and gas men (anaesthetists) all arrive and we begin again, now over my last two weeks I have received comments of praise from some of the staff etc but now it comes to the final day and I have to see the senior Operating Department Practitioner (Manager) and await my feedback, now this guy looks frightening, but he is very pleasant and gives me my certificate of competence and tells me that should I ever wish to come back into HIS department then I am more than welcome!!

Week 4 sees me moving departments and I am now working in the Coronary Care Unit (CCU) of the Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, which is a busy 10 bedded unit with a ward attached when patients are deemed as fit to be prepared for rehab prior to discharge. I arrive and meet up with the Ward Manager (Senior Sister in old terms) who I know fairly well. I am given my tour and follow the ward round, where the new team headed by Prof N reviews the patients.

I have various skills and procedures which I must have signed of as competent in their appliance and I start these straight away by going on the "Bloods round", this basically means taking the requested samples of blood from the patients as discussed in the ward round for analysis at the lab to see how well the patient is responding to treatment. I assist in making beds, toileting the patients and providing general care with the nursing staff.

Day 2 sees me in the theatres following various procedures including a pacemaker insertion and the cardiac catheter labs where patients are taking to have their coronary arteries either expanded with a balloon or strengthened with a wire mesh tube called a stent. Back on the ward after lunch and I am half way through some paperwork when the "Arrest" bleep blips into life, telling me and the other staff that somewhere in the hospital there is a patient in cardiac arrest and we have been summoned to assist in their resuscitation, now not knowing the hospital that well I drop 2 steps behind the Registrar and the staff nurse as we sprint along the corridors to get to the patient. We arrive along with the rest of the "Arrest Team" and start working on the patient, now bearing in mind normally you are lucky to have 3 people helping at an arrest when out on the road I am a bit shocked to see 14 staff (including myself in that number) all around one bed doing various tasks. We are successful in getting this patient breathing and their heart beating and it is decided that the patient does not need to go to CCU (as it turns out to have been a respiratory arrest) so we 3 all leave the rest of the team with the patient and return to the ward to cool down (27 degrees C outside and ward with arrest had not air conditioning!)

Day 3 begins with hand-over and ward round, then down to the catheter lab again for a more challenging procedure on an elderly male, unfortunately it is suspended due to his condition worsening suddenly. The consultant who is carrying out the procedure decides to reschedule for Thursday, as he will then be able to get a colleague to assist if the patient is stable enough. So back to the ward with the patient and watch as his condition bounces up and down like a rubber ball, eventually he stabilises after much hard work on the medical and nursing staff side. We receive a new patient onto the unit and they are clerked in, I assist with bloods and ECG etc and even teach a student nurse how to use the ECG machine!

Day 4 I arrive onto the unit to begin and there are new patients, some of the others were transferred to the attached ward as they were more stable than the new admissions. The unit is now full and there are numerous tests and examinations requiring to be carried out so I ask the Charge Nurse if I can help and I am allocated the bloods and ECG's for all the necessary patients in the unit along with assisting the staff nurse and student I'm working with for that day. Just as lunch arrives "blip blip blip ... Cardiac Arrest on ward..." yes you have it, the arrest bleep so off we go like a well oiled team sprinting into action and sprinting along the vast corridors to the correct ward, we arrive, with the other team members and begin to swing into our allocated roles, orders are barked out and equipment is brought... unfortunately this time we could not save the patient and it is agreed after a considerably long time that we have tried everything and we should now stop. So back to the unit, feeling low, but knowing we did everything we could do for the patient. As we arrive back on the unit the staff nurse and myself go for some water to cool us down as the Dr had remaining on the ward to complete the necessary paperwork certifying death has occurred. Blip blip blip "Cardiac Arrest.... ward...." I look at the staff nurse and she and I are off again, sprinting along catching up with our Dr (who was closer because of the previous callout) and the full team swing into action again, orders are given, equipment brought, more orders, more equipment and with each new item another team member arrives until the room is filled with medical, nursing and associated staff making 19 of us in total, once again I think back to my last arrest on the road when there were two of us!

We are successful this time, the patient is stabilised and transferred to the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) for further treatment. Back to the unit again, lunch for us and time to relax. The afternoon finds me catching up on my outstanding procedures and getting them signed off by the Charge Nurse. I finish earlier that evening, as it is Kal's end of course drink, which I head down to.

Kal is now 7 weeks into his 9-week technician course; having completed his Ambulance Aid (the care side of things) he now only has his 2-week driving to go... The whole group are found in the bar of the college, I bump into some old friends who are there for various reasons, chat, drink my diet cola, chat some more and then head off as I have an early start the next day. I give Kal a small gift and card to congratulate him and leave him to his party.

Day 5 sees me back on the unit, after having called Kal to make sure he was up, even although unknown to me he had been woke at 6am with the fire alarms, I wished him well and let him get back to his "Long lie"

I now only have one week to go, I walk onto the unit thinking that I will miss the staff, as they have been very friendly and helpful. I am not more than 5 minutes on the unit when the ward manager calls on me and tells me that we have a shout in A&E for a fast track chest pain patient who needed to come up to the unit, so we take the equipment and go down with the Dr. We arrive and the patient is post cardiac arrest, now with classic signs of an MI. The patient is prepared for transfer to the unit and off we go. Back on the unit I am in time for the start of my final ward round and Prof N once again carries this out (as he has for the last 4 days), meeting the patients and putting them at ease with his manner and tone, I am then invited by him to come back to A&E to review a patient with him and the other Specialist Registrar (SpR). We wander down and assess the patient and it is decided that he does not need to come to the unit and can go to the ward for further care.

It is now lunchtime, I have completed all my necessary procedures and had my training record signed off and I bid my farewells to the staff and leave then with the thank you card and a box of chocolates.

Well one more week to go and I will be finished...

I'm back again! (part 1)

2006-07-16T13:04:00.000+01:00

Sorry that I have not updated for a while, but with my paramedic in hospital clinical placements, looking for a new house and making sure Kal is still relaxed (not sure if I'm managing that one) about his course things get a bit hectic.

Anyway, here I am so I will try and fill the gaps...

After completing my college based training for my paramedic qualification I had 5 weeks back on the road as a technician (with paramedic knowledge) I worked mostly nights and this was good because the shifts were such that I was rostered with another Qualified and Experienced Paramedic (State Registered in HPC Terms). My first night back started with a cardiac arrest; which had been an urgent GP call for a male with difficulty in breathing, then a couple of genuinely unwell patients and a male in his 50's having a full blow MI, which eventually caused him to go into cardiac arrest following Thrombolysis in the back of the ambulance (in fact he arrested as we entered the lifts to go to CCU!).

For the other 2 nights we were back and forward to Edinburgh Royal Infirmary, dealing with lots of genuine patients and having a good time.

The other 4 weeks seemed to bring out all the genuine patients for me to deal with and my colleagues seemed to be left to pick up the drunks, this was good because it gave me a chance to work with some highly skilled Paramedics and learn from them along with using my new found knowledge to allow me to care for the patients in a more in-depth manner than before.

I received a phone call from the Training Department Queen (Administration officer, she is the woman who sorts your career basically) telling me that she has managed to get a space for me to start my in-hospital clinical placements to finalise my training requirements and that the placement starts on the 26th of June...."Oh I see" is my reaction, I explain that I am on annual leave that week as it's my Birthday and I have a friends wedding (which I am an usher and Kal is the Best Man)... Right she says, well the next placement is probably going to be the end of AUGUST, "I see" I think quickly and offer to cancel my leave for three days if that would be of any help, she says that should be ok and I have to clear it with my station manager. I call into the station that day, speak with my boss, who tells me that's fine and to claim Overtime for the three days I am in hospital on my placement and wishes me luck! Score, I get my annual leave payment and now time and a half and travelling for going into hospital! ££££

My first week of the two on annual leave it taken up mostly with the Royal Highland Show (Big agricultural and food fair etc) over 5 days including a day setting up, I work in the Communications centre, out on patrol and then on the Saturday I work with Kal, now we have only worked together once before and even then it was slightly different, we walk around on patrol and get a patient who is unconscious (through alcohol) and as we arrive I tell Kal that "Your attending" meaning that he is looking after the patient and I will do all the radio work, gathering equipment etc. I do this to see two things (1) how he has developed whilst at the college and (2) if he can cope with sudden change in situations... he performs well, and even when I am taking the piss out of him for his airway management he remains calm. (If all the future Technician's are all as confident and competent as him then Scotland will be a safe place to live).

Having arrived at the hospital for my first day I am shown around the Theatre suites (which is where I will be based for the first 3 out of 5 weeks), I'm introduced as the "Trainee Para-headache" to the staff and then pointed towards the changing room to get into my theatre greens. I meet up with my ODP mentor and stand sheepishly in the background as the patients start arriving. My ODP (J) is brilliant, now she is not full time staff, she is employed by an agency but has worked in the theatre for the last year, she is bubbly, chatty, full of information and so willing to teach, by the end of the first day my head it thumping, but I am already 1/4 of the way through some of the necessary procedures that I must achieve whilst on placement.

I inform J that I am off for two days annual leave later in the week and she notes this on my theatre schedule and gets her senior to amend the master sheet, I have my two days off and enjoy them (down at Ambex which may sound dull but is an international ambulance conference and exhibition) meeting lots of friends and colleagues and on the day of my birthday I am drinking vodka with breakfast!!!

I arrive home and start preparing for the wedding on the Saturday, I go with Kal to the pre wedding friends and family get together in Pathhead (which not two hours previously I had driven through on the way home from Ambex) I am fed lots of food, offered alcohol (which I decline as I am driving) collect the necessary items that still require dropping off at the hotel for the reception and with Kal we take the Groom to be to his hotel for the evening, depositing him at Midnight Kal and I roll back to his and collapse into bed, exhausted and set the alarm for an early start the next day.

The day of the wedding, we wake at 7:30am, roam around the flat getting ready and not really talking as we are still half asleep and the coffee machine has not finished spitting out the black nectar of life yet!

We both have things to do; I drop Kal off in town, head home and get into my kilt, drive back to Kal's and collect him.... WOW how hot does he look in his Purple kilt mmmmmmm, drive to the hotel and collect the Groom, who is looking pale and slightly nervous. Driving around to the church we confirm that rings are with Kal? Check, G you had food? Nope, stop off at shop and buy supplies, Water, Bananas and ready salted crisps etc (all non staining foods since we are all in white shifts and kilts) Onward to the church again, we arrive G and Kal are getting things sorted in the back and myself and the other Usher are discussing tactics, who sits where etc.

Everyone is now in the church and the Bride arrives (Groom is BRC and Bride is St. Andrew's so plenty first aiders in the guests in case of accidents) She looks stunning, slightly nervous as well, but totally stunning. Her father and also her Maid of Honour and bride’s maid’s who are all in lovely purple dresses escort her in. The wedding goes well, the pictures are taken (G is project manager and R the bride is a teacher so everything is set out in time tables and schedules for us to follow). Time for the reception, lovely drive in convoy to the hotel in the Scottish Borders, beautiful weather, lots of alcohol, gorgeous food, more alcohol, Chocolate fountain, great music and ceilidh band. The evening goes on, the buffet comes out.... Bacon rolls Mmmmmm. More music and dancing and drinking. I dance with Kal to a song that summed up how I was feeling (Yeah you know the one boy) and the guests all drift off home. Only a small number of us were booked into the hotel, we all meet in the bar, tired, slightly tipsy (some more than others) and start to unwind with another drink. The Midnight munchies (hunger) arrive around 0130hrs for most of us and we get some pringles from somewhere, just as we open them the manager walks in with a tray of hot bacon rolls.... the pringles are left and the rolls vanish in seconds with moans and groans from the group now demolishing the hot food to soak up all the alcohol.

Welcome back

2006-06-03T18:28:00.000+01:00

I know that I have not been on in ages, well it feels like that anyway, but I have been quite busy with my life....

I have just finished my second week of shifts after coming back from the Ambulance college and on my first set of nights I had two patients who arrested on me (One was a GP Urgent call) and two patients who have met the Pre-Hospital Thrombolysis checklist for their on-going MI (Heart Attack). Now since I have not completed my hospital placements or received my state registration I cannot practice as a paramedic yet, this leaves you in a strange "Limbo" you have all the knowledge but are not allowed to use your skills until all the boxes are ticked. I have been lucky however as I have managed to work with fully qualified paramedic's and this has been interesting as I am now able to use my skills "Remotely" through them :)

I have just got to wait my turn now to do my placement and then I can apply for my state registration and be let loose on the public of Scotland.....

Oh poor them ;)

Well after all the hard work and study....

2006-05-13T19:40:00.000+01:00

I have as you know been away for the last 6 week (1080hrs classroom time) studying towards gaining my Paramedic qualification.

It has been an interesting time and there has been many highs and lows along the way, may late nights of studying and early mornings of not knowing anything from the night before.

Well it has finally come to a close, after 5 weeks of preperation and study, practice and sweating late into the night over the books I sat my final Module I (Paediatrics & Obstetric) assessments, which also included some stuff from Module G (Cardiology & Airway) and stuff from module H (Trauma).

Monday of week 6 starts with some mock assessments, written and multi choice and then a practical skill station, the Tuesday is much the same, early finish to facilitate for some last minute panic study and then comes Wednesday.....

0845hrs - "You have 30 minutes to complete your Paediatric multi choice paper...good luck"

0920hrs - "You now have 30 minutes to complete your Obstetric multi choice paper....once again good luck!"

1030hrs - You now have 2hrs to complete your written papers covering Paeds, Obs, Trauma and a General question, please ensure you answer all the questions or you will automatically fail!...Good luck"

1330hrs, after lunch it's back to the practical mocks to ensure you are up to speed on skills for the final assessment on Thursday.

Thursday morning seeing us all in the restaurant of the college for breakfast you would think we were all "Dead men walking" we sit quietly, not saying much, staring down at our food, not hungry but knowing that we should all eat something.

0900hrs and so it begins, I am first for my Paediatric skill station, which comprises of two cases my first is a lethargic, floppy 6 mth old who is "Unwell" not feeding and turns out to be a meningicoccal septicaemia baby who needs airway management, supported ventilations, IV access and Benzylpenicillin before the crew arrive to back me up.... oh yeah I forgot to say I was meant to be single crewed!

My second patient was a 5 yr old in Cardiac Arrest, who as per protocol required airway management, breathing and circulatory support along with IV access, blood glucose checks, capiliary refill and fluids and rapid transport to hospital, however I was still single crewed and had to wait on the responding ambulance..... oh the joys of assessments!

I was last to go in for my Obstetric assessment and this was once again, two patient skill stations, the first was a 35yr old who was in labour with her 5th child and had a history of difficult and fast labours!!! The baby in this was a breech birth, the baby then required to be resuscitated and my second scenario was a 17 yrs old with a cord prolapse. Both the skill station's went well, but no one felt totally confident in their and I was definately one who felt least confident.

Friday Morning was the day which we found out which one had passed, but since we had a small group the course director decided to tell us all on the Thursday afternoon our fate!!!

We well all summonded into the class after coffee break and one by one our names were read out..... Scotsmedicman PASS...... What?!?!?!? I passed I ACTUALLY PASSED YEAH!!!!!!!!!!

So there we go, I am now licensed to kill... erm save in some many more ways!!! 007 watch out!

Module G - Cardiology & Airway Managment

2006-04-22T09:35:00.000+01:00

Well it has been a while since I have communicated with you all, I can only apologise for this, but I have been studying and working hard. I have now completed my 3rd week and had my end of module exams....

The 3rd week of module G is a blur of activity, you start on the Monday with "Mock" exams to get you in the right mind frame for the written exams, this goes on until the Tuesday afternoon when you have now completed your written and multi choice "Mock" papers you are then put through practical assessments that are made to be difficult, awkward and stressful so that you are thinking in the right way to face your final practicals. Wednesday arrives before you know it and suddenly you are faced with 3 hours of written exams, this includes an hour to complete the multi choice aspect of the exam. Wednesday afternoon you feel totally deflated, washed out and thinking that you know nothing. You have to stop dwelling about your exams and now focus on the forthcoming practicals on the Thursday.

I had a break from the stress of the college on Wednesday evening when I was "kidnapped" and taken to Peebles to have a night out of the college and a meal with Kal and a colleage Ms A(who has recently completed her paramedic course and understands the stress). The meal is lovely, we sit and chat, go for a walk along the river and meet another colleage who is out walking his dog, we chat and then head back to the college for coffee. On arriving at the college, we grab a coffee and sit with the wife of one of my training officers (she has popped into the college to wish me good luck, as she is a friend and ex college of mine) we all chat and then Kal and Ms A bid me good luck and head home. I so want to be going with them, but unfortunately I have to stay and do my practical assessments......

THURSDAY ARRIVES!!!!!!!

We are all in the restaurant for breakfast, non of us eat much as our stomach's are churning, we walk strangely quietly in a single line to the classroom (if you were an outsider looking in you would think that we were going to the execution chamber), we arrive and are greeted by our instructor (0845hrs) and are briefed on the running order of the day, we are given our places for the assessments (I am the duty student and have responsibility to ensure that all the equipment is set out properly, this had been done at 0825hrs and checked by our instructor) and then he leaves. We all walk again in single file to the waiting area (which is the coffee lounge) and sit.... I am first and at 0905hrs I walk with an Officer to the Syndicate A room for my Airway assessment, I meet the Consultant Anaethnetist and start my 20 minutes of hell... I talk, I use the equipment with ease, I rectify problems thrown at me, I even begin to show off.... I think to myself "I'm good, I know this and I'm going to prove to you that I should pass!!!!" I finish the 20 minutes and I thank the assessment team and head out of the room back to the coffee lounge.

I arrive downstairs and enter my time on the sheet (We are required to sign in and out of the assessments to ensure that we are all given the same timescale and no one is grilled for any length of time), I tell my colleages that I am going for a walk around the building and with this I am off, walking the wooden area, the driveway the road around the college and then back into the college. I arrive back and there is conversations starting about the cardiology station, which I am last to go into, so I avoid this as I do not want to know about the 3rd degree heart block and Asystolic arrest scenario that the other student received as their assessment.

SCOTSMEDICMAN!

I am summoned to the cardiology station for my final assessment, now I have been waiting for nearly 2 1/2hrs and my stomach is doing the twist, I have been to the toilet 12 times for nervous peeing (maybe all the coffee didn't help either)....
I walk in, there is a dummy lying on the floor for my resuscitation assessment, and the Officer who escorted me in introduces me to the Cardiology Nurse who is doing my assessment. We chat and then she explains my scene, I go into auto pilot, once again showing that I know my stuff, I then deal with the second scenario which is a male with central chest pain and managed this, talking constantly, stating the correct dosage of drugs and explaining how this is calculated etc. I leave the assessment and feel confident, but know that I could have done better, I stumbled over my words when it came to rhythm recognition and didn't come across as confident as I would have liked to have been.... oh well that's it over with.

We all go for lunch, still not really eating much, start to chat and end up doing post mortum's on the scenarios we were all given. We go back to class and sit and wait, and wait, and wait. Eventually we are allowed to go to our rooms or leave the building and are told that we will get our results on friday morning.

Thursday night we are all at the bar in the college, some drinking more than others, still lots of talk about the assessments.

Friday has arrived, we are all sitting in the classroom and one by one are taken away for our results and feedback, no one is confident, no one is sure, but the smiles are laughter of relief start as one by one people start coming back in.... then it is my turn I am second last, as I stand up to go through, my colleague who is after me is up and out of the room, he takes my place HE JUMPED THE QUEUE!!! BUGGER!!! oh well so I sit and wait again, he returns, quiet, head down, we all think he is joking, but unfortunately he has failed.... It hits us hard, SOMEONE IN THE GROUP FAILED! It is my turn now, I walk the 5 feet from our class to the office opposite and it feels like an age to arrive. I knock, wait and then hear "Enter" I go in, The Officer who is giving the feedback is sitting head down, I think "Oh my god I'm next" He looks up from his mountain of paper and stands up pushes out his hand and breaks into a smile and congratulates me, now my brain is going slow and it takes a moment to understand, he said "Congratulations" OH YEAH I HAVE PASSED!!!! He explains my results, which are much higher than I expect and he goes on to tell me that I have been given a commendation for my airway as the consultant was so impressed with my knowledge and skills.

I return to the class, break the news and we all relax, we feel sorry for our colleague who is now leaving us, but are happy that we have passed. I start sending messages to everyone telling them the news and my phone is just about able to cope with the volume of texts I receive with various messages of congratulation.

Ah home time, I drive up the road from the college and think well only 3 more weeks to go and that means 2 more assessments!!

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

1 week down

2006-04-07T21:30:00.000+01:00

Well as it says, I have just completed my first week at the SAC (Scottish Ambulance College) on my IHCD paramedic course, The first week as you can imagine begins with some introduction to the course ahead, so on Monday morning we are completing the necessary paperwork that tells you that should you leave the Service they can claim the £6,000 costs associated with your residential aspect of your training!!!!

I waken up on Monday, full of good intentions with regards to going to the gym, but I then try and get out of the lovely bed in my room to go to my en-suite bathroom and notice that I have problems breathing, I feel sore and generally ache all over, I look in the mirror and see that I have developed cold sores and my nose is now streaming like a flowing tap, Joy I have a cold before I even start my course, oh well only paperwork I think..... Boy was I wrong.

It is now mid morning and we are starting to look at intubation (passing a tube down a patient's windpipe to secure it and assist in their breathing), after lunch we learn needle cricothyrotomy (putting the biggest needle you can find into someone's neck to help them breath) and finally chest decompression (Once again putting the biggest needle into someone's chest to help re-inflate their collapsed lung) and this is only the first day........

For the rest of the week we go over various different aspects of the above skills, sit multi choice exams and short written papers and start to look at the drugs involved in dealing with a patient who is in cardiac arrest (or Advance Cardiac Life Support - ACLS for short). Finally today we get our test results and I am "Coming along nicely" and I'm to "keep up the good work with the practical scenarios" I feel a bit more happy tonight, knowing that I am on the right tracks and hopefully will still be there in another 5 weeks!

Ah well I am off to relax and remember the lovely italian meal that I have just had with Kal, Oh it is nice to be home for the weekend and to see him, oh and to be taken out for a lovely meal by him :D

I am still alive

2006-03-22T22:00:00.000Z

Just a quick message to say that yes I am still alive and well, just studying for my forth-coming paramedic course....2nd of April, I never knew that adrenaline was brown!

Oh well back to the books