The lone (bush) rangers fan

We are moving

2009-02-23T14:04:00.003+11:00

For all of those who have us bookmarked and the like, the lone bush rangers fan is moving.

We have an exciting new home at statecricket.com

All the states will be represented, eventually.

So get over there and take a look.

Meet you in the shield final

2009-02-18T09:59:00.002+11:00

Cause that is where we are.

While the other teams are trying to put enough crumbs together for a chance at playing.

We is there.

For a team to book the home final, which we really have, this early it means that we must have had a full team all year.

We haven't, which is the sexiest part.

Look at the players we had missing for this game.

C White
D Hussey
B McGain
P Siddle
A McDonald
R Quiney

and then after day one.

D Nannes
S Harwood

So the usual excuse that NSWales use when we win, oh all our players were busy laying for their country, can be shoved well and truly up their anal passage.

Victoria won this with Brad Hodge bowling a quarter of the overs.

With Lord Mash and X man in the top 5.

With 2 frontline bowlers injured.

And with an innings to spare.

That is huge.

Bigger than huge.

Massively large.

I have questioned this Victorian side, and they have basiaclly told me to go fuck myself.

And quite rightly.

Now with the shield final in their pocked, they turn to the white ball game to make up for last years final.

Can they reverse last season, in which they won the 2020, and lost the other two.

Why the fuck not.

everyone chips in

2009-02-17T09:45:00.002+11:00

I raised some doubts about Victoria's batting line up last post.

Should I have worried, well yes, but, they did make runs.

Lots of them did.

Not the number 4 or 5.

Lord Mash and X man failed, but since everyone else made runs, it didn't matter.

Rogers started off with another 60 odd to add to his collection.

The Ego of Hodge smacked a 98, before the illegal Aaron Bird ended it. Bird who has bowled 11 no balls in this innings, umpires making percentage calls perhaps...

Then Wade made a 60 odd, probably annoyed he was batting behind two guys he is better than.

And everyone else chipped in.

Well except one.

I assume that Dirty Dirk was put promoted up the order because the angry man Shane Harwood was injured, because as we all know Dirty Dirk is a number 11.

And what happened, Dirk got ahead of himself at 10, and went out, for the first time this year, if you believe his answer in my interview.

Harwood is currently batting with McKay, and making a mockery of Dirk's 6.

The vics are now over 200 in front, and they will need it, if Dirty Dirk or the Angry man can't bowl in the second dig.

Oh and good news, after Casson took 3 early wickets, and we all started reaching for the razor blades, Hodge, Wade and Wright took him to the cleaners, luckily for out wrists.

Vics in the lead with shoddy injured team

2009-02-16T11:09:00.002+11:00

There is no spinner.

Two keepers.

The 5th (fuck me) captain of the year.

Two bowlers injured.

And Ethan Hastings.

Yet, NSWales got bowled out for 227.

Not a bad day one.

Harwood celebrated his IPL contract with a pectoral muscle injury.

Dirk Nannes celebrated being interviewed by me, will be up on CWB shortly, by injuring himself, and taking 3 wickets.

Crazy Clint took 3 and Hastings took 2.

The Mailman made a hundred, but since he made almost half the runs, it's hard to be too upset.

In the past i would be cock a hoop over such a day.

But with the injuries and Sot Jewell as captain I am a little nervous.

The batting order is just wrong.

Lord mash at 4, The x man at 5, and Dwayne Wade at 6.

Come on, who the hell is that scaring, well other than us.

I said the other day that their seemed to be a slump, but with that batting order how could it not.

It's pretty much 3 out all out.

Quiney, White, Hussey and McDonald are missing.

Blizzard seems to have been stamped not first class material.

Michael Hill must not be ready.

And so Lord Mash and X man are there.

We may still win this match, but right now I wouldn't put money on it.

Victoria's slump of doom

2009-02-12T05:18:00.003+11:00

You can feel it.

The tide is turning.

It all started when NSWales defended 120 odd in a 2020 game.

There was a sense of doom attached.

Then when NSWales got over the line in the 2020 final, the doom seemed to get thicker.

Even when Victoria pansted South Australia, we could sense a vulnerability, but they won easily, twice.

Then they failed against Tasmania, and it looked bad, especially as they were going to have to play them in the final shortly after.

Now they have lost to Queensland as well, giving them the home final.

And this was a loss.

At one stage they were in danger of ending up at English levels of crapness.

8/56.

Now there is even a chance that they will miss out on the final spot, however slim.

New fans of the bushrangers will be wondering what is going wrong, but the old schoolers have seen this all before.

Some years the Vics specialise in batting collapses, this year they are practising a full scale season collapse.

It's happened many a time before, but this one is looking more hard core.

At one stage they looked like they could be the first team to take the triple crown.

Now, the look like a bunch of blind drugged up ferrets bumping into things.

What has caused this, well, other than Victoria's penchant for disasters, there are a couple of major reasons.

One is the international duties of the big bear and Future PM.

And while that is important from a batting point of view, what is more important is the roles these two men occupy, leader, and dominator/collapse insurance.

Victoria has become dependent on them, and without them looks like a rudderless farce.

The other, and perhaps more important one, is the lack of quality batsmen to come in when the big boys are out.

With Cam, Huss, and Hodge missing, it was always going to be tough, but this has been ordinary.

The X man Crosthwaite playing as a batsmen makes my head hurt.

Wasn't he dropped for Wade because he couldn't bat? I love the bloke, but I see no point in him playing as a batsman.

If he is good enough to play as a batsman, Wade should be the one to give up the gloves, as the difference between their glove work is a gulf no freakish long swimming nerd could swim.

His selection means the Vics have no faith in the second tier, Blizzard, Hill, and co.

Their top six in the G disaster against New Texas was:

Quiney: Should have stepped up and become a superstar by now
Wade: Is he a white ball batsman, or are they trying to make him one
Hodge: Back from injury
McDonald: Can't see him as a number 4
Finch: Has showed a bit, but hasn't put a big score on the board yet
Crosthwaite: Not a number 6 in any form that isn't 2020 cricket.

The big guns are coming back soon, and even though they will soon be missing Peter Sizzle, Nice Bryce and McDonald, for the balance of the team, Cam and Huss are going to make up for it.

That doesn't mean they are going to come back from the slump of doom, but it does mean that they can't say they don't have the ammo to do so.

the review

2009-01-25T06:32:00.001+11:00

Fuck it.

Dear Bushrangers,

2009-01-24T06:00:00.000+11:00

This is our title.

I refuse to lose to these bastards, and for the time being, Prince Brendan is an honorary bastard.

Forget about Warne, Gilchrist or Keith Miller, you have the talent to win this game.

The bowling line up is all there, and NSWales couldn’t score against it before.

The batting has the talent, even if it is inexperienced.

This should be a victory.

Anything less is not good enough.

NSWales has more players out of their side than we do.

Sure the Ego of Hodge, the Bear like nature of White, and the ferocity of future PM Hussey are hard to replace, but the idea of Victoria winning all the time is that our players go on to play for their country.

And this is the perfect time to beat them, our stars are out, their stars are out, but they have pulled in a big gun.

They can’t whinge about their stars being out, they can’t gloat about producing the next generation, because they have opted for an import.

We can take these fuckers down.

Dirty Dirk is more than a bowler in 2020 cricket, the man is a wrecking ball of furious destruction.

The angry man Harwood is still one of the best 2020 bowlers on the planet, he doesn’t need a grey and yellow uniform to prove that.

Bryce is back baby, and this is the game for him, his performance in the one day final last year was what legends are made of.

The X man Crosthwaite is made for 2020 cricket, he loves a scrap, scores quick, and talks just as fast.

The human Headline Blizzard is due for another match winning few overs, remember last year’s final?

And 10 points Quiney loves smacking the blues around, it’s just a shame he doesn’t get to do so against Lee & Clark like he did at the G.

If this isn’t the time to win the title, I don’t know when is.

So back yourselves boys, leave it all out there, and make sure NSWales know that this is our title, if they want to win, they better play out of their assholes.

We are behind you.

NSWales is good for something

2009-01-23T09:34:00.003+11:00

Moses has been playing with videos, and has some great footage of angryman and the x man in full glory.

My favourite bit, and Mose's, is x man clapping in his face without asking if Hartley is ok.

Wrongs have been righted

2009-01-22T05:52:00.002+11:00

There was a horrible moment after victoria's break down against NSWales when we all thought they could miss out on the Champion's league.

The number one domestic 2020 on the globe could miss out on the first tournament of champions.

It would have been horrible.

4 men refused to let this be a possibility.

Dirty Dirk, is a fire breathing legend of 2020 cricket, it's like the aliens invented the game just for him, surely an IPL team will sign him soon.

Brad Ego, we know know for sure what we thought all along, Brad can bat on ego alone, no need for hamstrings for him.

Nice Bryce, is back baby, sure it wasn't one of his devastating white ball performances, but he ut the ball where he wanted, got a wicket in navy blue, and everything feels right again in the world.

And the X man, loves the pressure of a quick collapse, and without him the other three would have put in alot of great 2020 efforts for bubkas.

Now we have the plane ticket, but we really want to go back to back to back to back, don't we.

And its against them cunts as well, even more of a reason to win it.

Ofcourse without White, Hussey, and now probably Hodge, it's up to the young batsmen to shine.

Blizzard & Quiney need to explode.

Finch or McDonald need to hold together the middle order, and the x man needs to maintain the focus.

It should be a top game, as long as we win.

The gabba or bust

2009-01-19T02:59:00.001+11:00

Absolute utter brilliance.

Masculinity with a ball.

Brute force personified.

I’m, obviously, talking about Dirty Dirk’s masterful performance.

4/11 in a 2020 game.

But that was not enough.

The big man tried in vain to win the game on his own.

Even came out with the bat, which since he restricted them to 128, he probably thought he would not be required.

He couldn’t save the day.

Now Victoria may not get to the champion's league, a place they deserve.

It would be Victoria’s luck to miss out this year, after 3 straight years of being champions.

Failing to make 128 as well, a classic Victorian move.

Top order falls apart, top batsman gets run out, Wicket keeper chips in, and bottom order have to try and get them home.

It often works for Victoria, this time, not so much.

There was some good news, other than Dirty Dirk’s magic.

Aaron Finch, Colac’s 7th favourite son made some runs.

Which is lucky, because without him they may not have got close enough for them to almost win.

NSWales are going to India, and they deserve it if they can defend 128 against Victoria, even a victoria missing its top order.

Now they must defeat Queensland just to fulfil their destiny.

Victoria is now finally being tested, when they had White and Hussey playing, they were blessed with two international 2020 players in their team, now they have to do it the hard way.

Queensland will also be without Harris, but it is a home game, the truth is that if Victoria lose the last two games of the tournament, they don’t deserve to be in the champion’s league, however, it still feels unfair due to their history in the tournament.

Could they not go back to back to back to back?

Perish the thought.

Vics get back the momentum with one win in a row

2009-01-09T06:47:00.002+11:00

This time they beat the Warriors.

Brad Ego made all the runs, a few others sort of chipped in.

Cameron White took a Australian Selectors erecting 4/10.

And Surprisingly Dirty Dirk and David Hussey did very little.

Well Future PM did put a little icing on it with 37 off 22, and two wickets.

But with the Vics making 180 and the warriors strangling themselves to 105 it was hardly a game where two super heroes like them were needed.

Dirty Dirk didn’t even feel the need to prove my assertion that he should have been picked ahead of harris in the 2020 side.

He doesn’t have to though, he is Dirty Dirk, he does what he please, when he please, and he don’t have to prove nuffin to no one.

Big ups to Andrew McDonald for playing in this game, I’m sure he would have been allowed to miss it, but he played anyway.

Also well done in the test Andrew, was a top effort with the ball.

And ofcourse Peter fucking Sizzle, you is on fire boy.

Have we won this tournament yet, i thought these things were supposed to be over quickly.

Vics lose, Dirty Dirk stars

2009-01-04T10:50:00.004+11:00

So they lost.

There are two probable causes.

Geelong.

The players, other than Finchy, probably didn’t want to travel down the Princes for the game.

Then when they got there, they were too busy looking at the Dirty Dirk show reel from the last game.

Ofcourse.

None of the batsmen really hit their straps, and no one other than the big fella kept it tight enough.

And yet they still went within 2 balls, of winning.

You know what they say though, what happens in Geelong doesn’t mean shit cause no one cares about what happens in Geelong.

All it means is that that year we won't go undeafeated when we win.

And no one will care about that if we win all 3 titles.

Infact if we win the shield losing the best run in domestic 2020 titles in the world will mean very little.

But it would be nice to keep the title away from any other state for a little while yet.

That is 2 losses in 4 years of 2020 cricket.

And as it says in the AFL coaching guidebook, "it was the loss we had to have".

Sounds good anyway.

WE is on top of everything

2009-01-03T02:00:00.000+11:00

Another 2020 game, another comfortable win.

OK, so not that comfortable.

But a win.

And a Klinger failure.

That is the real win, imagine he made a 50 ball hundred, ok so you can’t imagine it, but imagine he made runs and they won, that would suck too.

Fair to say the bowlers got a bit of stick, but Angry Man Harwood was all over it with 3/27 in 4.

Not too shabby.

He got Harris out for 98, which is a nice effort.

Then the batsmen all chipped in, Headline started the ball a rolling, and then Ego and the big bear got the game well in hand, before Future PM had to win it for them.

Never has there been as important a 7 off 5 balls, probably.

Now we are in charge of every competition, have two test players, and Bryce is on his way back.

Happy new year indeed.

Australia gets a bit of red

2008-12-31T07:44:00.002+11:00

It is a good time to be Vicotiran.

Chris Rogers and Damien Wright sensed this.

David Hussey has always known.

Oh, so you don’t believe me.

Brad Hodge, test spot.

Bryce McGain, test spot*.

Cameron White, test spot.

Peter Siddle, test spot.

And now, from no where, and here is where we thank Merv Hughes, Andrew McDonald.

How the fuck is this happening.

Is Merv beating Andrew Hilditch up.

Suddenly it is raining Victorians, and not before time.

Remember when a test player was injured, or dropped, or retiring, and you said to yourself, I think whatshisname could go straight in, shame he is a vic.

No more.

Now even when there are other options, even NSWelsh ones, a vic goes in.

White/McGain before Casson.

Siddle before Bollinger.

Now McDonald before Noffke, Henriques, Geeves, North, and Smith.

There is a chance that there has been a huge mistake, and that Andrew McDonald is not the man who was supposed to be picked.

Congratulations to Andrew, and lets hope we can get a Vic to stick in the side for a while.

*He did get a spot, if not a test.

Welcome to FPM's playground

2008-12-29T07:14:00.004+11:00

Australia’s Hussey may have lost all semblance of form.

But Victoria’s is still simmering along nicely.

While hundreds have been very hard for him to grab in 4 day cricket.

Apparently all the extra time is what has been bugging him.

15 overs is all it took him, and Xavier Stutter Ball Doherty may never be the same again.

100 off 47 balls.

He even did a double act, following up with the ball as well.

Actually a triple act, 2 wickets as well.

I propose the Big Bash be renamed in the man’s honour, The Future PM’s playground.

The man doesn’t man handle 2020 attacks, he cuts them down, he is like a 2020 spartan.

It's as if the white ball has slept with his missus.

He is one huge part of why Victoria are the number one ranked domestic 2020 side in the world.

The other is the bearded barbarian Dirty Dirk.

Michael Dighton is a white ball run machine.

Dirty Dirk cleans up that mess in the first over.

George Bailey seems to live to fuck with Victorian bowlers.

DD wipes that cheeky smile off his face as well.

Game over.

That is one hell of a double punch.

At least we know in this crazy world that somethings stay the same, Victoria have the mad skillz in 2020 cricket.

Happy holidays

2008-12-24T23:53:00.001+11:00

The Vics are on top.

Toast that on Christmas day.

Dirty Dirk continues

2008-12-18T03:47:00.001+11:00

Something happened on day three.

The warriors went from a fordable foe, to rotten cheese.

These things don't just happen though.

Dirty Dirk cut their heart out.

Andrew McDonald ate it however.

It was pretty brutal.

They lost 9/98 on the day, and the game was over before Jewell and Rogers went out to bat.

Dirty Dirk is now the leading wicket taker in the country, and has a bowling average of 19 whilst doing it.

Not too mention his strike rate of a wicket every 6 overs, that is better than his strike rate for falling over.

The man is all over the shield season.

Some people still don’t rate him, but they are people who cannot understand the animal nature of the man.

The see the falling over, the wide balls, the terrible fielding and they say, oh he is not a proper cricketer.

No he is not, he is a barbaric warrior who takes wickets.

The man makes opposition batsmen piss themselves.

He gets wickets with an alarming consistency.

In essence, he does the job with brutal force while others are still tucking in their shirts.

Victoria has crawled on the back of the big man this year, and with Rogers and Wright playing pretty damn good as well, they would have to be red hot favourites for the title.

And if they do, Rogers will get credit, Wright will be applauded, and their will still be dick heads who don’t rate Dirty Dirk.

That is ok though, he is too uncouth to be anything other than a cult figure.

You can't stop the Gerard

2008-12-17T05:30:00.001+11:00

Gerard Wright is all over Western Australia at the moment.

Taking the first 4 wickets wasn’t enough for him, so he crashed in with a 60 to save the day.

Just as Victoria was putting in the standard collapse.

Victoria started by tripping over to 4/59, then McDonald and White steadied the ship quick smart.

They both made half centuries in good time, but when they went, Victoria went back into standard mode, and before long were 8/193.

That is when Wright and Crazy Clint came together, and bugger me if they didn’t put on a hundred run partnership at 5 an over.

Who would have put money on that?

Virtually no top order batsmen could work tis deck out, and 9 & 10 slap it around everywhere.

It was a gutsy partnership really, as they knew they were all out once their partnership was broken, sorry dirk.

This meant the vics went in with a lead of almost one hundred, and Dirty Dirk did what he does best and got rid of SOS Marsh.

The game is still in the balance, WA still has a stable of scary fuckers in the shed, but there is a calmness about victoria this year, and you just feel they are going to get home.

Lets just hope it doesn’t take another Clint Gerard partnership to do so.

gerard floors the million dollar line up

2008-12-16T06:46:00.002+11:00

Victoria might have had more downtime than they expected in recent times, as have their opponents, but they were right on the money.

Gerard Wright has always been a tuff sonofabitch on helpful surfaces, and he took the first four wickets.

In that bunch were Marsh, North, & Pomersbach.

Not fucken bad.

Later on Dirty Dirk fired up to finish off the tail.

And the warriors were scattered for 211.

Being that the vics won the toss and sent the warriors in, you can hardly say 211 is the worst score ever.

However you would still expect Victoria to get at least 250.

Bandy must be making some waves over west, batting at 3 in this line up is pretty damn special.

And he did it with style.

66 and a bunch of 4’s and a 6 to get there.

Now all we need is a Chris Rogers hundred.

And we know how much he likes doing that.

who was the waca who let him go

2008-11-26T23:56:00.003+11:00

Sorry about the title, i just could not help myself.

Chris Rogers was obviously bored in Western Australia.

Last year he struggled a bit with the bat.

Couldn't make any white ball teams, and looked flat.

Now he is an adonis of modern batting, and i am sure some newspaper has called his form bradmanesque by now.

Yet again he carries Victoria to a win over Western Australia.

Just a pretty little 75 before letting the big bear take over from there.

But this one has got to hurt Moody, because Rogers left to play white ball games, because WA didn't let him.

It's hard to blame WA, but with Ronchi batting at 7 this week, and Rogers running roughshod over them, its gotta hurt.

Victoria are happy now, some of the rabid faithful are even considering Rogers Victorian already.

Unheard of.

It took the big cheese 5 years to do that.

Victoria is riding Rogers, and their general top form, to the top of every ladder there is.

That feels good.

And they only thing that stopped them from going to India and winning was terrorism.

The boys are looking good.

former warriors find better pay day

2008-11-25T03:35:00.000+11:00

Chris Rogers burnt his home down on the 2nd day.

Well on the 4th day he burnt down the houses next door, the local school, the fish and chip shop and everything else he could pour petrol on.

Chasing 320 off 70 overs shouldn’t be easy, but with an over to spare and with two of the finest red nuts going around it was.

As if Chris Rogers killing the Warriors wasn’t bad enough, for most of the time the Future PM was with him.

Two former warriors coming back to town to steal the points.

Must be heartbreaking.

It’s happened to us enough times though.

Rogers is now in the sort of form that Jesus would be jealous of.

681 runs @ 88 with 3 hundreds and 2 50’s.

Ouch.

At the other end Future PM David Hussey is getting the starts, showing the dazzle, but failing to cash in.

3 half centuries this year. 9 last year, and only one hundred in that time.

Should we be worried, probably not half centuries from him are better than hundreds by most.

But we shall keep watching it.

Now the Vics go to India with a skip in their stride.

Victoria go West and struggle with north

2008-11-24T07:36:00.002+11:00

Someone has woken up Marcus North.

It does happen, he seems to play 3 or 4 games a season where Johnny Cash couldn’t get him out.

This is one of those games, and now Victoria have a proper chase on their hands.

Obviously they should still win, and if they do they can thank Peter Sizzle and Fumbles Wade.

Their tailend shenanigans set the game up for Victoria before Marcus North grabbed some of it back.

I still aren’t convinced with Wade, but more 68’s will help ease my mind.

Peter Sizzle can hold a bat, and is a fair number 10 at first class level.

Then North happened, and while it wasn’t a one man show, he did score more than his team mates combined.

Luckily for us loyal Victorians, Gerard Wright was there to scoop up a 5 for, as Sizzle, Dirty Dirk, & Eyelashes Pattinson all struggled a little.

The Vics still have 3 wickets to get, hopefully that isn’t a problem, and then chase down 200 odd.

The points are there if they are good enough.

I think they should try chase down the total in 20 overs, will be good practice for next week.

Chris Rogers burns his old house down

2008-11-23T10:29:00.003+11:00

Nothing is tougher than going home after leaving your place in disgrace for another woman/parent/sect.

They know your every weakness, they are out for blood, and only by raising your hands at the end of the day can you truly win.

Chris Rogers now knows what that feels like.

He went home, and he said come and get me biaches, in his best gangsta voice.

Western Australia came hard, they cut down his partner like he was nothing, they took a sword to his number 3, and FPM, a fellow who knows all about going home was smashed in front of his many eyes.

He saw them all come, and he saw them all go.

But Chris held firm.

His red hair shining in the harsh sunlight and littered with the blood of his new brethren, and the stain of dodgy genetics.

He went there an ex warrior, he comes home, a bushranger.

There is simply no argument.

Now his former home have 115 reasons to hate him, and he can never truly go home again.

By the time he had spent himself all over the Waca, Victoria was in the place to pick up the 2 first innings points.

Those points, if they are collected, shall be known as Rogers forever after.

good yet weird first day at the waca

2008-11-22T09:37:00.002+11:00

Big day for Victoria, Dirty Dirk bowled the most mathematically improbable over ever, and James Eyelashes Pattinson came out with a bang.

Dirty Dirk and his shenanigans can be read about here.

But the real story is Eyelashes Pattinson.

I thought he was being held back for some reason or another.

We are a few games into the season and he hadn’t been seen yet.

Now he pops up, instead of Crazy Clint or the Angryman Harwood.

And the boy is good.

20 overs 6 maidens 3 for 43 type good.

His wickets weren’t top order, but Bandy and Ronchi were two of them.

This my friends, is some sexy fucken shit.

Considering the Dirskster was missing, 8/224 is a pretty good effort with all the firepower WA have in their top order.

Only Marcus North got away, but playing against the warriors, you have to expect that one of the big guns will take off.

Now is the time to finish off the tail, and gets about winning the match, at least Dirty Dirk will be well rested.

Victoria go to top of the pops

2008-11-19T01:44:00.001+11:00

And about bloody time as well.

4 games we have dominated this year, and only 2 have we got maximum for, but this is looking good.

Not that the shaky isles didn’t put up one hell of a fight.

Brett Geeves got 99 not out, poor bastard was robbed I hear, but fuck him for making our boys work for the win.

Geeves is an interesting one, he has been known as an allrounder since he first made the grade, but oether than the odd cameo nothing has ever come of it.

Perhaps Victoria have created another Ashley Matrix style monster.

Fuck.

But we won this one, so lets not worry about allround monsters just now.

Crazy Clint McKay continues to take wickets against my better judgement.

And his 5 for gave him the man of the match award.

This is a very promising start to the season, and what a season this could be.

We could win all three Australian trophies and win an international one as well.

And trust me, I have just done a review of the Champions League for another website, we are a proper chance to win the whole damn thing.

But more importantly we are on top in the important stuff.

It’s more important as we have 4 home games to go in the season.

Maybe Ray Bright was right, but I doubt it.