:HerLounge

Changing of blog address

2009-04-13T07:58:00.003+10:00

I've cancelled my domain name so next week I will change back to a blogger address I think the address is http://rotn2.blogspot.com. I will switch to this in the next week. I haven't been updating my blog because I wanted to delete it. I was pretty much finished with the project but the thing is, after my accident, it acts as a memory for me so I don't want to delete it at all. I tried to export the blog but it didn't work.

I've had a strange past 2 months. for the past 2 weeks I find myself in a depression. After my accident I find I am prone to depression because I don't understand the way I feel and I can't really remember who I am in times so it's understandable that I get in these states. I've put a bit of weight on because the only thing that makes me feel better is food. I started smoking again but have since quit. I find that I have no taste for things and simply can't enjoy myself. Sometimes I wonder what would've happened if I didn't have that accident. But I just have to make the most of it now. I am not enjoying my new job. At times I feel like I'm working in a sweat shop. But I have good hours the pay isn't the best, but it's still a job. The only reason I'm still there is that I have good hours and finish a little earlier and then I can concentrate on what I really want to do for a job. I really don't want to be in this industry anymore. Due to my depression though, it's bought me back to a boy headspace that I didn't count on. I totally thought I was over this and I'm convinced I'm like 100% crazy but I don't know if it's because it's the only good (action wise) thing that I've had since I've moved to this country. Don't get me wrong I've had other people that have also been good but I developed a not so healthy attachment to this person. I've blogged about this before but here is the scenario (I hope in typing this that I realise what a weirdo I'm being and will just move on). These details I would never say out aloud to anyone as I know how crazy they sound, so here we go (and I don't attach just to anyone so it feels even worse for me). Early last year, girl meets boy. Has a great evening. He then goes back to his city. August he comes again and September he comes again. During the time between the first time I meet him and the 2nd time, I don't have his number he has mine so it's always on my mind let me see him again. Which is why in August I was pretty darn excited. Then after the last episode I get an STD - was it from him or did I give it to him. It doesn't really bother me, it was cured in one evening. And I forgive easily so for me it's no worries because the action that we had was such quality I would sell my grandma to have it again (she's dead though so it's just a term I'm using haha). Anyway so I get a little heart broken and message him via facebook something like oh i'm so bored at work today and he never replies. So that's it. So this year I'm hoping he will come down again for work. It's weird before my depression I was sure our chapter was finished. I had some really great sex. I still have his number in my phone and I'm hoping he will contact me again this year because now I feel like we are not finished, that there is more to this chapter. How weird is that though. Am I just making this up in my head? Am I just clinging to this person because it was good and he is the only guy that i have remotely liked since I've been here.

Deleting

2009-02-10T19:09:00.002+11:00

When my domain comes up for renewal in May, I think I might delete this blog. I'm just not enjoying it anymore and I can never be bothered to type things in it. It's certainly not worth paying a domain name fee for! And we are in a recession peoples!!!

Inspiration

2009-02-07T09:30:00.002+11:00

It's going to be another hot day over 40 degrees. Today, all you really can do is stay inside. At the moment, I've got a lot of things I'm contemplating. There's so much I want to learn - different skills. I know what I have to do, it just takes money and time to get there. There is also the part where I have to pick which option to do after trying a lot of these things out. But until then, I'm just eager. I want to get started on these things. The few things that I want to do and I'll be honest, I don't know whether I can get these done in a year, maybe 2 years in total is the time frame that I should strive for. Nevertheless, I want to get as much done as possible in 2009 that I can.

Here are the things that I really want to do in 2009:

Sewing. I need to get into sewing. I need a sewing machine and then I will play for a bit and then look at doing some fashion courses that I've been dying to.
Painting. I've been dying for the past 2 years to do some painting but I always seem to find an excuse. It costs money. But so what, most things do!
Drama. I used to go to drama school and it's only lately that I've been wanting to get back into it. I'm not a TV drama type person, I love the stage. Get me back to the stage please!
Language. I want to go back to learning a foreign language. At the moment I'm refreshing my Japanese language skills, so at least that may be one that I'm nearly about to tick off on my list.

I received a message the other day in facebook that had me looking at my life. I always strive to do the best in everything I do. I've had a tough life which people are always telling me. From my point of view, it has been my life. I don't know any differently. You just muddle though and get by the best you can. It's not until my 30s that I actually had a better grasp on things and issues that came my way no matter how big, I was now equipped to deal with these successfully. I always asked for the difficulties of my life to come when I was young, this way when I was older, it would be more smooth sailing. I knew this would happen and the universe has responded to what I wish for. My life is about to take off. In this time, I have realised I've learned a lot of stuff many people my age have not. Some may be more equipped in the parent stakes, but I've been out there living my life. The message that I received in facebook made me realise that these people, while they may be married and have children, still haven't actually really lived their lives and I'd certainly learnt a lot more about human beings and what is important in the world. I always feel like I'm not good enough because I'm not as perfect as I would like to be. But just now I realise, I've had a great life. Even though it's been tough, I've learned a lot of valuable lessons. I guess I'm not so bad after all!

SO Funny

2009-02-03T19:07:00.001+11:00

I've been watching the comments for this auction for a little while, have a read though the comments of this auction. Kiwis really make me laugh

Spring Cleaning

2009-02-01T10:48:00.002+11:00

Today is going great so far. I got early, opened the windows and blinds and basked in the 22 degree heat. I have done 2 loads of washing, I've cleaned outside and cleaned all the cobwebs and then I have to go through and get stuff ready for the hard rubbish collection. The sun is only starting to come out now and I'm watching my weather station so that when the temperature gets to 27, I will start going through and closing the blinds. While it's now 26.2 outside, it's 25.9 inside and I need to make sure that it doesn't get too hot so that I can sleep in my bedroom and not in the lounge. The wind has stopped blowing now so it's only a matter of time before it heats up. I'm so glad that it's not going to be over 40 degrees this week. Last week in Melbourne, it almost felt like it was a civil disaster. On Friday I managed to get home which was great, but they shut down many train lines and didn't even offer replacement bus services leaving commuters stranded. (Due to heat issues!) They cut power to the CBD leaving Crown patrons having to exit the building many people stuck in lifts, the traffic lights were out, the boom gates that control the trains couldn't budge, there were two major fires which spread quickly, one which we could see from work. One fire was caused by a car accident, the other was deliberately lit. Many people were admitted to hospital with heat related injuries. In the hospitals around the CBD, the emergency departments couldn't cope. Some ambulances waiting for 3 hours before the hospitals could take their patients. Power was lost to over 600,000 homes with more power cuts looming. It's quite a scary feeling really. You can't really do much to fight a fire it must be a terribly scary feeling. A lot of houses were completely destroyed and it's quite heartbreaking to see that. While people came out with their lives and would be extremely grateful for that, I would feel a bit destroyed if everything that I worked hard for had gone up in smoke. Especially if it was caused by some low life arsonist.

Pluot

2009-02-01T10:42:00.002+11:00

Yesterday I went to the supermarket and just had to try these Pluots (cross between a plum and apricot). There were not as enjoyable that I thought they would be. I ended up chucking most of them out. In Australia, most of the fruit that gets to the supermarket is stored for up to 2 years in coolers. Which is why most of the apples are extremely disgusting and you pay a lot extra at the supermarket for this old fruit. It's highly waxed which is not very good. This is why I get up at 4:30am every Thursday and make my trip to the market to get fresh vegetables. Please note that with the above picture, I did this through my mobile phone so I'm not usre how to rotate this.

Movies

2009-01-31T20:58:00.004+11:00

I've seen 2 movies this week. Firstly, Yes man which was hilarious and also Marley and Me. Today when I saw Marley and Me, there were 6 people in the cinema all up (it was the early session - people trying to avoid the heat) and all of them were females. The funny thing was 4 of us were crying. It was sad :(. I was even warned it was sad, but I couldn't help but cry I'm such a dog person. I haven't been updating my blog very much. The weather has been extreme and I don't have air conditioning. The other night, I had to sit in the nuddy but I was still a sweaty betty.

Getting ready for the scorcher

2009-01-27T22:37:00.002+11:00

For the rest of this week it will be over 40 degrees. What is lame is that I do not have air con. My bedroom is upstairs and while I keep the curtains closed all day and night, there is a balcony which gets a lot of sun. Due to this, it is too hot to sleep in my room so I have gathered the cushions together, chucked on a sheet and am trying to sleep downstairs in the lounge. I don't know it will work out, the cushions hardly compare to my comfortable bed. I think I may need a pedastool fan. I have this small heater, which blows out cool air, there is not much of it, and my bed is too high for this to have any affect, but nevertheless, when I get home, I rush upstairs to turn this on. I'm hoping it will be sweet dreams for me!

Blinds down

2009-01-25T09:43:00.001+11:00

Today is going to be a Scorcher

Australia day and shite about men

2009-01-18T21:58:00.003+11:00

While I listen to viva la vida and am drinking copious amounts of alcohol while dirty dancing, a thought of a guy pops in to my head. Now this is the guy I've been successfully trying not think of until now. It's the bloody alcohol! This guy sits across from me and all we do is flirt all day. We've already had sex and it was great. He has a girfriend and I have morals so I'm not pursuing anything. He's a flirty guy, I hear him flirty on the phone and for some stupid reason I find it endearing instead of lechy. And I'm the first to be honest, I think about sex alot well in fact every time I see a man i consider sex and that's sometimes why I look at the ground while I walk. But I am not the kind to lure away a guy from a relationship. Gosh, I would hate that. It would be a mutual feeling. After that young japanese guy who blew his load before we could engage in proper action and remarked 'I don't know what happened' When let's all be honest, we all know what happened, he lead me leaning towards this man when I am trying not to. Half of me tells me hell yes and the other half says hell no. This other man was great sex and I recall him saying things that I thought but wondered if men thought that too and they do so yay! Ig uess what I may be trying to say in some roundabout way is that I will not have relations with anyone younger than 27! Okay so I guess the next blog guess is to see how long this lasts. Personally I reckon this will last longer than one month.

Newest addition to living room

2009-01-18T20:08:00.002+11:00

Early morning market

2009-01-17T08:42:00.003+11:00

Up at 5:40am to catch the train then the tram in order to go to the market for my weekly fruit and veges. All up, it takes me just over 40 minutes to get there but I'm saving a wad load of cash so I'm more than happy to make the trip. The apples that I typically buy from one stall owner is out. So I head back to the guy I got my apples from last week. This week he asks me, do I have a boyfriend to which I replied No and got a bit like oh gosh here we go, and he's like why and I'm like because I don't have enough time (which is a total lie - it's actually because no one ever asks me out) and then he starts trying to set me up with an italian boy and he's like how old are you 20? To which I repeat 20 - no, so he's says older i say yes, he's like what 21, 22 and I'm like no 31 and he's like no way and I'm like YES, and he's like oooh there's still time and I'm like yes thanks, and he's you look pretty young for 31. And when I head off he's says good luck with the boyfriend and i'm like thanks I'll try.

View from work

2009-01-15T22:03:00.001+11:00

Feeling sorry for myself

2009-01-10T20:28:00.002+11:00

I sit here watching TV feeling somewhat sorry for myself. I've got no good reason to in all honesty, 09 is a cracker for me but the other day I slipped on a pedestrian crossing and really hurt my body as I fell on my elbow and then the rest of my body. I'm seeing a physiotherapist at the moment but the bruising is only starting to come through on my elbow. But Friday night I went out and hooked up with the Pretty japanese dude. I had a really good time, but I woke up with hikkies much to my dismay. Now there is more to this story and it may seem mean it may not. So here, in this rather long convulated story I will tell all. There is this other guy I will call him Guy A and the other the Japanese dude. Since I hooked up with Guy A who has a girlfriend, I've been really wondering about him relationship wise. I will not have a relationship with just anyone so I like to know if the person is worth it, if they are not, then I cut it off as soon as I can. Now Guy A, is quite affectionate towards me and like "that guy (the out of towner from last year)" I really appreciate when I feel comfortable with someone. With Guy A I do and I do with the Japanese dude. The reason why I am pondering it so is that Guy A who has a girlfriend which I heard is not going too well. So I'm not going to be an instigator in anything because I don't even know if I want a relationship with him at all. I am pretty sure I do not want him as a partner but he makes me feel great so I'm liking the fact that it makes me feel somewhat familiar. At the same time, it is making me more exploratory with other men. So I took home this guy I have been out with before. He is younger than I am (maybe even by 10 years, I am not sure) so I guess I may be a cradlesnatcher ha ha. But when I looked in the mirror, I had hikkies. Now I don't recall me having this done at any stage but there was one on my chin of all places. So I had to chuck concealor on and wear sunglasses because I felt really sick due to all of the alcohol I had during the evening. I felt like a 12 year old or something but because I had bruises over my elbow, I was hoping it might look more like an injury than a hikkies. There is more to this story but Iron Chef Japan is on.

More La Clinica Products

2009-01-06T20:22:00.002+11:00

Yay, today I headed to La Clinica to get some more products. I wanted more massage oil - their aromatherapy revive massage oil is devine. I use a few drops in the bath and then exfoliate really vigorously. When I get out of the bath, I cover myself in the massage oil and my skin feels heavenly.

I also got Gly C Refine Microdermabrasion Facial Scrub. I actually was going to get the green tea, but after I have rave reviews from the person that put me on to la clinica in the first place and also the store assistant, I decided to go with this one. I'm just about to try it out. I hope it's great.

OK, so I tried facial scrub and it may be the best Microdermabrasion scrub I've used. In fact, I couldn't stop looking at my face for 30 minutes afterwards and I'm totally vain but this made it worse!!! And of course, my body feels great after the massage oil and my hair also after my Kerastase Volumactive hair masque. Yay bananas.

First Day Back at work

2009-01-05T20:34:00.002+11:00

Darn it was a tough day today. Late to bed last night and early to rise at 5:30am. Work of course was extra busy with everyone's technical requirements. In fact, I hardly had a chance to pause. It was very hectic. Now I should really go to bed early but I want to watch a south park episode on tv with the Indiana jones one - I can't recall if I've already seen it. Maybe I should go to bed now. I subscribe to a couple of magazines and when I got home from work today there was a brand spanking new Marie Claire in my letterbox. I was slightly excited until I looked at the cover - Jennifer Hawkins blah an Aussie issue they call this. Oh how enjoyable seeing Australia Day is this month however what a bore. I opened the magazine and it just got worse. Only one article that I really wanted to read. Their fashion seemed uninspiring, especially the black and white shots. The products to purchase were as equally as boring. Now I know Christmas has been and gone, but some people like to start off the new year with a bang and not a bore!

Realistic Resolutions

2009-01-04T15:04:00.003+11:00

Now that I have a brilliant job and that I'm surrounded by great people my new year resolutions are some what realistic. This year I have a few general goals but I will be taking it one month at a time.

The first goal is to be more stylish. I don't have as many casual relaxing clothes as I used to. My weekend wardrobe consists mainly of skirts. Here, I will build up more of my wardrobe by buying one item a month.

Bargains. I want to find more bargains. There are plenty of bargains to find in Melbourne if you know where, so I want to save more money and save on what I'm spending by getting it at a bargain or discounted price.

I also wish to go back to the pre UK days. When I would go to the gym early in the morning 6 days a week. I wish to be more active. I have devised a plan which will start this week by starting with pilates for 4 weeks until I get my muscles stretched a bit, then I will start in with cardio the month after that and then in March, I will start with a gym program.

I really want to do the fundraising trip with the Stroke Foundation where they cycle around asia, but I may have to ear mark that for 2010.

I'm tossing up at the moment to see wether I should do a particular course. I'm not sure I am ready to do this, but I guess I could start anyway.

Shopping

2009-01-04T14:15:00.003+11:00

Today I went out to get some goods after my Christmas holiday break. I came home with a shredder, DVD player, 2 tops, some new sheets, pillow cases, Double air bed mattress, and a lot of groceries. I also purchased an Acer aspire one in white. This is because I have an iMAC and I wanted a wireless small portable laptop device that I can use when I'm travelling, that's light and that I can also use at home in my lounge room instead of using my computer upstairs. While it's a windows pc, it doesn't really bother me, but struth it rocks. So far, I love it. I have hooked it up to my wireless router which is just brilliant. It doesn't have anything like a CD or DVD drive, but that's exactly what I was looking for. I guess, now I just have to go through and add in a bit of software like firefox. Office. I guess I will just wait until McAfee expires until I install another anti-virus program.

Holidays

2009-01-03T17:14:00.002+11:00

I've been on holiday for a little while. Had a great time, Got some great stuff and I can't actually be bothered blogging about it. Hope you all had good holidays.

Happy Holidays

2008-12-26T06:41:00.000+11:00

I've got stories to tell, but I am about to leave for a weeks holiday in South Australia. Happy holidays to all.

Where is the summer?

2008-12-16T19:26:00.002+11:00

It's been 2 mornings of me wearing my winter coat (14 degrees) and I hate it. Where is the sun with all this global warming shite. Just grey skies and lots of rain. I hope it's going to be warm at some stage.

Merry Xmas to me

2008-12-15T18:13:00.003+11:00

As a xmas present to myself, I headed down to the mac store to get a new keyboard for my mac. It totally rules. I've gone from chunky to silver and thin. I didn't get the wireless keyboard because I have an iMac, I don't need wireless with a desktop and my house really isn't set up for it. But this one I love. It cost me a grand old $69. I was going to get it at myer with a $30 gift voucher that I got from work only to find that it had expired (bunch of cheap bastards - and that was my old work) what a birthday gift that will be to remember them by!

The week where it ended & started

2008-12-13T07:11:00.002+11:00

It's early. I'm hungover after many many pots of beer and no food. I'm quite energetic this morning and I'm farting like a trooper! This week was a toughy. It's certainly been a long one. On tuesday I finished a job on wednesday I started a new one. Now it's only been 3 days but i have a couple of stories already.

First day story:
I wore some black pants that I had worn about 6 times before. I wasn't wearing any knickers. I rocked on up to the reception area and was like can I use the toilet before the boss gets here. So I did and to my horror there was a massive whole up my arse. I'd been walking from the train with a massive hole in my pants (about 10 min walk) - the seam had come undone and there was a hole as big as my hand. So I had to get the first aid kit from reception and pin up my pants. A great way to start a new job! Then, my boss hands in his notice as well.

Next day:
I wear a blouse and it keeps popping open. I get some double sided sticky tape but it doesn't work.

Third day:
I go out for drinks and I take one of the guys home. He is working there on a casual basis. Now when I first saw this guy, he looked like a guy that I was involved with once. He is really nice this new guy (unlike the old guy) and has a body (unlike the old guy) I also do believe he has a girlfriend but it's not going well. But I'm not even sure if the opportunity came up if I would want to take it. I've been alone for so long now he would have to be pretty special for me to give that up! Anyhow, I had invited the pretty japanese guy over but from the start, I had this other dude on my radar like a predator ha ha I was very subtle though so we ended up going home together. But just for the record, I don't really want a relationship at the moment and especially one that used to look like I guy I dated once and I once told the old guy he was a piece of shit. But I would still really like a relationship with someone that was like a particular man - this guy that I'm thinking of now was a total hotty. And on the bright side, at least I've been more selective not just fkn anything that moves. I remember most of the evening and in the morning, I knew his name. So there are bonus points all around.

Who? what are you? I'm batman..

2008-12-04T10:05:00.001+11:00

OMFG. Was my expression this morning when I saw the workmate that I despise walk in. She sat down I turned around. She was wearing these ugly grey pants and this top which was see through pink but with a black bra underneath it. It was like something you would wear in Victoria times which made me laugh even more. Her hair was put up in a clip tie back to the middle of head like she was an 80 year old school teacher. Immediately I got on the messenger to the lady next to me and I was like OMG what is she wearing and the lady who is next to me also wearing pink who has a white bra on is like OMG especially as it's see through and then you look down and she is wearing these cheap and nasty grey pants. HIDEOUS

It's the final countdown... do do do do do

2008-12-03T10:43:00.001+11:00

Well, while I am at work this week I have had 2 songs stuck in my head. Firstly the final countdown as I'm counting down the days to leave these losers (i will miss some slightly but the rest can go to hell). I won't miss the smelly latvian though whose smelly breath used to make me recoil. Then there is the fact she hardly washes her hair, and she is ugly and she is weird looking. Today she has put on her weird laugh which sounds like a french person going oooh ooh ooh. But today I have managed to clean out my draws. The second song is Yankee Doodle Dandy. OMG this new canadian girl started at work and walks in with this massive hat with a feather in it. She rocked on up last week and while I didn't say anything to any one I was like no, really this can't be. So yesterday I was talking to this lady about it as this girl is a weirdo, but saying I can't stop singing the yankee doodle dandy song. And then I moved on to how she could be the Pied piper of hamlin. Should we call her ppoh? Then I suggested let's just call her macaroni. Well her other canadian work mate who is nice I told her look I can't stop singing yankee doodle dandy and she was like because of the feather and I was like yes. It was just so funny. Now the latvian had a 2.5 hour lunch break yesterday and didn't even apologise for taking that long. Then she came back and tried to make out that we had the problem not her. Today she is running around because our office manager is running late so every time the door bell rings for the back entrance, she rushes up to get it even though there are other people closer and she does it ever so noisily. She hurries about the office like the world depends on her because she is so important. I think of bashing her. I wouldn't do anything to her, but I would like to bash her. If she does ask me why I am leaving I will certainly advise her it's because of her. I don't like her. Infact, I despise her. I dislike a lot of things about her. All morning she has been sitting at her desk sighing. Argh ha Argh ha, so then I start to make noises like F*K up lady. The office manager was so P*d at her for taking a 2.5 hour lunch yesterday as was I because we were really busy. We even tried to call her on her mobile phone - here is a copy of our IM conversation. We sit next to each other, but it is safer to IM because she is small and round i would say plump - and she puts her hands all over you it's very uncomfortable. She uses my desk to come around and talk to people so I tell her off for it because I'm trying to work and she is talking over my shoulder.
Here is our IM: Conversation
Dickbitch(9:32:13 AM): I need to take
Dickbitch (9:33:11 AM): I need to go for a "very early lunch" today - from 10 :40. Need to go with Mum for an hour. Hope it is not a problem.
me (9:33:45 AM): no problem I will be hanging wiht Jenni @ 1pm anyways
Dickbitch(9:34:58 AM): Also, I will be coming later on Friday - I was registered for a webinar - US and it starts at 2am EST US time ( I calculated it as 7am our time). so, I'll connect from home and then come here probably 9:30-ish
Dickbitch (9:37:24 AM): As I was winging to Rob about our surveys that they are not showing the situation adequately, He agreeed for me to do some seminars on the surveys- defining and analyzing and he is happy to listen to my suggestions and to try to "move them forward"
I hope I survive this last week. But working with such an annoying DickBag, it's very hard and grates on my nerves all the time. I must put on my ipod for my OWN sanity.