The Mommy Diaries

I really do kick ass

2008-10-10T11:30:00.005-04:00

Waiting in my mailbox when I got home from work last night was an envelope from Alltop. Inside were stickers. I got a message the lovely people at Alltop a few weeks ago asking me to send them my address so they could send me some stickers. I did and then immediately forgot I did so, so getting these stickers was a fun surprise … even more fun for Sophia who is totally addicted to stickers, tape and just about anything that is sticky.

Opening up said envelope of stickers and seeing what they looked like, I realized they really aren’t age appropriate for for a 2-year-old, but she didn’t care, and despite my refusal she persisted. Eventually I caved and she got a sticker.

In all the commotion of sticker wanting and getting, Ryan was left to his own devices. Time he used wisely and appropriately for a one-year-old to pour Sophia’s entire cup of apple juice all over himself and the floor.

Yes Alltop, I truly kick ass!

How routine falls apart

2008-10-09T10:11:00.001-04:00

Every morning at about 6 a.m. Sophia climbs into my bed, curls up next to me and proceeds to kick, toss and turn and whine. This will go on for about 10 minutes until she either falls back to sleep or decides she needs to have juice. Immediately.

This is my alarm clock. I have no need to set a real one, Sophia has always woken up like clockwork … that is until this morning.

This morning, Sophia came into bed and went through her little routine of kicking and tossing and turning, except this morning it was exceptionally violent. I let it go on until I couldn't take it anymore.

"Soph, if you don't stay still you have to go back to your own bed."

"Nooooo," she whined. "I don't wanna."

I look at the clock and it says 2:10.

So I pick her up and take her back to bed. I'm not dealing with this at 2 o'clock in the morning. There's no way. She cries and tells me she wants me, but I'm not relenting. I sit with her in her bed for a couple of minutes and then go back to bed. I am so tired that I fall right back to sleep.
Sophia comes back into my room and climbs into bed. I wake up again, hoping it's at least 6, but when I look at the clock it says 2:40.

"Stay still and don't move or you have to go back to your own bed," I tell her.

She promptly falls back to sleep.

Ryan is a good sleeper. I can count on him to sleep until at least 7:30 every morning. This morning, however, I heard him crying and looked at the clock and it says … are you ready? … 5:00, on the dot.

Again, I stumble through the hall, go into his room and he's screaming. I pick him up, hug him and rock him for a few minutes and he goes back to sleep … for 45 minutes, when he wakes up and screams so loudly that Sophia wakes up. It's hardly 6 a.m. and everyone is up, so our morning begins.

***

On our way to daycare, Sophia said, "I'm a little bit tired, Mommy."

"You should probably sleep at night and you won't be tired in the morning," I said.

"I don't wanna, Mommy," she says.

Ryan is sound asleep before I even pull out of my parking spot.

Pray for me that they sleep tonight.

The princess and her room

2008-10-08T09:46:00.002-04:00

This morning started like any other morning, babies desperate for breakfast and juice, the night having drained every ounce of nutrition from their tiny little bodies. Screaming, crying babies flailing on the floor until they are given their precious apple juice is the norm. After breakfast everyone heads upstairs to get dressed for the day. Today being picture day at daycare, we were careful to dress everyone extra nice. Sophia was extra adorable today, which meant she became extra cute.

After I got her dressed, I went to my room to dress myself. She followed me into the room and stood in front of the mirror and danced to the music I just turned on.

"I a princess, Mommy," she said while smiling at me.

"Yes, you are," I said and she took my hand.

"See my princess room, Mommy," she says while dragging me to her room.

"Look, my princess room. See princess pillow case. Pretty. Babies sleeping. Wanna try," she says while climbing into her bed and picking up one on of the many dolls in her bed.

"Here Mommy. 'Mon (Come on), sit on my pillow case. Nice. See Sleeping Beauty, Cinnerella (I love the way she says Cinderella), Beauty and Beast."

"Sophia, your princess room is so nice. I love your big girl bed, it's so comfortable," I said.
"OK. Babies go sleep now. 'Mon, Mom."

I'm pushed out of the room and she proceeds to put all her baby dolls to sleep. She shuts her bedroom door and comes into the bathroom to tell me everyone is sleeping.

Future tour guide? Realtor? Maybe. Whatever it is, she's definitely adorable.

Not a good day for the animals

2008-10-06T11:39:00.001-04:00

On Friday I killed a groundhog. I was driving through Valley Forge Park on my way to a trail to take the kids for a walk. The weather was crisp and cool and the park was virtually empty. I wasn't speeding. I saw the groundhog in the road. It was briskly walking across the street right in my path. I swerved to go around the animal and ended up lining my tire right at the poor, blameless animal.

Thump-thump.

It was dead.

I started crying uncontrollably. I pulled off to the side of the road to compose myself.
Sophia: Mommy, why you crying?

Me: I'm OK, honey. It's OK.

Sophia: You cry Mommy.

Me: I'm fine.

I got on the phone and sobbed while I told Jon what I just did. It was a terrible feeling. I was so sad for what I had just done. It was an accident, but the animal didn't deserve it. I even dreamt about it that night.

I hope that never happens again.

***

I have a question for anyone out there who knows anything about Blogger or web page design … Look to your right. See how it's blank? Is it blank for you? It's empty for me. Anyway, it's actually not empty at all, scroll down to the bottom of this page and you'll see all the stuff is there. I don't know how it got there and I don't know how to fix it. Anyone know anything or have any helpful tips, e-mail me at themommydiaries@gmail.com or leave a comment. Thanks!

A journey unlike any other: Day two

2008-10-01T11:50:00.005-04:00

Even at 6 a.m. it is still dark, but the spotlight that came through the curtain of our hotel room helped make it feel like it really is morning. When I got out of bed, my legs and shoulders were tight, but not sore. Intense training prepared my body for the first day. I cannot say the same thing about my butt, which felt bruised and battered.

In our pajamas, Team Sonia searched for breakfast. As a group we were a little tired and a little cranky. Being 76.5 miles from your car and the only way to get to it is to sit my burning butt on a saddle and peddle my way there seemed overwhelming.

With our bellies full, we head back to the hotel, put back on our bike gear, pack our bags and head out. This time I walk to the start with a new sense anxiety: my pedals. Physically I was ready to go, emotionally, I could have used another day to rest. I didn't sleep well that night. I had dreams about failing and when I woke up my brain focused on my biggest anxiety about cycling: unclipping from my pedals. Sand in my clips made my feet stick in the pedals, fatigue made it hard for me to snap out, but I could do it and we headed out.

The weather Sunday morning not ideal for cycling, it was a misty rain that made everything wet and slick. It was a warm, humid day.

The first 10 miles were torture. The first obstacle was bumpy, beach roads that made sitting on the saddle nearly impossible. This went on for miles and once the road got smooth we had to tackle the bridge. This is when I realized how tired I really was. One rule of cycling is to start out slower than you think you can so you can have some energy stored for the end when you need it the most. This bridge makes that rule very hard to keep. Many riders walked up and over the bridge. We pushed up and over two bridges only to be rewarded with a flat tire at the bottom. My teammate got a flat. The National MS Society provided a ton of support to riders, so it wasn't long before help arrived. Within 10 minutes we were back on the road, but less than 2 miles later the same tire went again. Sitting on the side of the road waiting for this tire to get fixed, thoughts of how long this ride was going to take started creeping in.

With a brand new tire, we're back on the road. It's smooth until it starts raining. Water and dirt from the road is spit from the tires in front of me and on to my glasses and I can hardly see. Today miles don't pass as quickly as the day before. Instead of the feeling of accomplishment with every passing mile, I have the feeling of anticipation for the coming miles.

Lunch comes right before mile 40. The lunch stop is set in this open field that is covered in sand. Even with my cleat covers, there is little I can do to prevent sand from getting on them and I begin to panic. I cleaned my shoes with some water before we got back on the road and tested and retested my pedals. Less than a mile back on the road, we came to an intersection. Traffic forced us to stop. I tried to unclip and I couldn't. Panic set it. If I can't unclip, I can't stop. I manage to slow down enough so that Jon can grab me and stop me. He reached down and unclipped my pedal for me. For the next 15 minutes, we sat on the side of the road trying to figure out what the problem was. We cleaned the clips again and I clipped and unclipped several times. Everything is back in working order, so we get back on and ride.

Miles pass, time seems to stand still. I have no idea what time it is because my watch stopped. I feel out of tune with the world. We stop at a rest stop and see there is 19.5 miles left to the end and one more rest stop. We decide we're going to skip that stop and take on the final 20 in one shot.

Soon enough we are at mile 70. Only a few left to go, but they aren't easy. The roads are relentlessly uphill. The scenic neighborhoods we cruised through on Saturday became one challenging hill after another. The sky clears and the sun comes out bringing heat with it. Everyone is tired, but the end is near so we keep going. There is one last hill to conquer before we hit the finish line. As we approach there is an officer directing us. He tells us to slow down because there is a medical crew at the bottom of the hill. As we crest the hill, we see there is a biker on a stretcher no more than 50 feet from the finish line.

I feel awful for the guy. I heard there were a lot of accidents along the road. A lot of riders fell and didn't get back up, but this was the worst. He was so close and didn't make it. But there's not a lot of time to reflect on his situation. We're directed around the scene and on to the finish. Crowds are cheering, people are waving and taking pictures. I was less emotional at the finish than I was the day before. Maybe it was exhaustion or the intensity at which I was riding that I just wasn’t able to turn it off fast enough and take everything in.

This was my first big ride, and experience that I will not soon forget. We've already registered for next year and I have a feeling that this is just the beginning.

We took a few pictures, but not many. Here are a few photos of our team and one of my bike right before we left on Sunday. They aren't great, but it's impossible to ride and take pictures at the same time. The National MS Society is posting photos and if I find any of me and my team, I will also post them. Thank you to everyone who offered me their support, without it, I'm sure I could never have done this. Together, with events like this, we can find a cure for multiple sclerosis.

A journey unlike any other: Day One

2008-09-30T11:38:00.001-04:00

Saturday at 3:45 a.m. the alarm went off, 30 minutes later, I stumbled out of bed. I'm exhausted but I get out of bed anyway. I put on my bike shorts and jersey and I'm ready to go. The starting line is in Cherry Hill, N.J., about a 45 minute drive from my teammates' house where we stayed Friday night. At 5 a.m. we pack up the car, stop to get coffee and breakfast and head off.

More than 7,000 cyclists were scheduled to participate in the MS150 City to Shore ride, so traffic was backed up heading to the start before 6 a.m. Slowly we made our way through traffic and parked the car. After dropping off our luggage and making our way through check in we line up with other cyclists. There's no turning back now.

In the background there's a TV news personality giving riders weather updates and an announcer directing riders to the start. There is music and cheering, but I'm focused on the ride.
The countdown begins. I clip one foot into my pedal and get ready.

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 …. Go! There's a crowd of volunteers, friends and family cheering us. The first couple of miles are through a residential neighborhood. Some homes have signs on their lawns thanking us for riding. We are in a good mood. The road is smooth and everyone is starting out slow, warming up our legs for the miles ahead.

Leaving the neighborhoods for the open road is a relief. Each intersection is manned by local police and MS Society volunteers pointing us in the right direction. We thank each as we pass them and they return the thanks and cheer us on.

As miles go by, the crowd of bikers thin out and my team finds its' rhythm. Miles and time pass with ease. I'm feeling strong. We stop to refuel at a rest stop. Food and water are a necessity. Cycling takes every ounce of energy and these stops are vital. Next stop is lunch. Hot food, protein, carbs and drinks are plenty. We linger for a bit during lunch, check our bikes over and when we're rested and refueled, we get back on the road. Lunch is set up only 19.5 miles into the ride so we have many more miles to go.

As we ride further into the New Jersey I notice the scenery is changing. Dirt on the side of the road turns to sand and gravel. The air begins to smell of salt, but there's 20 miles left to go. The weather is clear, but the roads are a little wet from overnight rain. The air is thick with humidity, but it's not hot. At one point I look at my odometer and see we've hit 65 miles. "Right now is the furthest I've ever ridden on a bike," I say to my teammate.

Mile 70 marks the final 6.5 miles. I'm feeling optimistic until I see the bridge we have to cross to get into Ocean City. I'm tired and I don't know if I have the energy to make it across. Half way up the bridge, my team falls apart and we separate. We cannot make it up together, it's every man for himself, but we get up and over it and catch up to each other. I feel great … until we get to the next intersection. There is a man standing with a sign that says "Only 3 miles and one BIG bridge left."

Oh. My. God.

I look ahead and see the bridge. It's tall. The air is so heavy that I cannot even see the top of the bridge. It is frightening. Everyone struggles. Many riders stop and walk their bikes up the hill. I shift gears and keep peddling. I cannot stop. I will not stop. My breathing becomes labored, I look around and my team has broken up again. At the top of the hill, we are rewarded with a steep downhill.

Only a couple of miles left. Volunteers are at every intersection. There are many turns through the beach community. Children are standing on the corners cheering us and holding signs. As we get close to the finish the crowd gets bigger. Everyone is cheering.

I knew this ride was going to be hard, but what I wasn't prepared for was how emotional it was going to be. At Saturday's finish, I called my mom and found myself crying. I couldn't believe what I just did and the amount of support total strangers gave to every rider. A woman stood at the entrance to the rest area handing out medals to all the riders. Food, drinks, music and children's activities awaited riders and their families. We ate, got a massage and went to our hotel for a shower and rest.

Tomorrow …. Photos and part 2: Sunday.

I'm baaack!

2008-09-29T12:33:00.001-04:00

Hey, everyone. Over here! I'm baaaack. This weekend was a rousing success. I will tell you all about it … but I'm going to make you wait a day. I want time to process everything that I just did and I don't want to leave anything out.

In the meantime, I want to thank Mamasphere, Autumn's Mom, Sassy Irish Lassie and DC Urban Dad for taking care of the diaries while I was preparing for the ride. I can't believe how awesome they are.

I'm so lucky to have such great bloggy friends.

Who let the dude in?

2008-09-26T23:40:00.006-04:00

No need for panic, put away the mace. Don't adjust your monitor or call Diane. Everything is fine. Diane did in fact let a dude - DC Urban Dad - into the fold.

And I gotta tell you I am honored and humbled to be invited to share with everyone today. I will try to be on my best behavior and bring my A-game, although it is tough to compete with the ladies who have already contributed.

In fact, I have spent the better part of this week worrying over what to say, what to write. I have bounced from topic to topic, but nothing seemed like a good fit. I mean I have never been given a chance like this before and I sure as heck don't want to blow it.

But then it hit me after my wife called around 11 pm Friday to say goodnight.....

This is the perfect opportunity to say THANKS....thanks to the mother of my wonderful child. And for that matter, thanks to all you Moms out there who make this world a better place.

The past four months with this little one have been a whirlwind of new experiences, confusion, worry, sometimes frustration, lots of elation and often times sleep deprivation.

But throughout every moment my wife has been an absolute rock. She is the center of this family and what keeps us together and moving forward.

I am blessed that she is not only the mother of my child, but the love of my life, my partner in crime and my best friend.

Her time alone time with the little peanut is coming to close and she will soon be back at work. I know that with each day it gets harder and harder to leave, but she has built a foundation that is solid and secure. No one can take that away.

I don't say it enough. I forget. The days pressures weigh heavy on my shoulders. I get lost in the new shows coming out. The bills to pay. The yard to water. The laundry to fold. The groceries to put away.

So this break is the perfect chance to say thanks. Thank you.

Now to all you Dads out there, do me a solid....take some pause. Step back from the TV, college football, your weekend projects, your workload, your beer and just say thanks. You won't regret it.

Pardon Me While I Dust My Blogspot!

2008-09-26T11:26:00.003-04:00

It's been awhile since I played around in blogspot. It's kind of like riding a bike though, hopefully after I'm done my butt won't hurt from the seat! Can't say I can say the same thing for Diane! Pad your behind, missy!!

I'm Dot and I'm Autumn's Mom. I'm not trying to save the world although I do try to take it over every now and again. And again. I was Autumn's mom for 13 years, divorced and remarried about 48 days ago and became the Bradys mom. I have inherited 4 (that's FOUR) step sons. All of our kids live with us and visit their other parents every other weekend. It's hectic trying to keep everything together. Sometimes I just melt into a pool of tears and other times I'm laughing with them so hard I pee my pants. We're very liquidy.

I used to feel sad that my family seemed to be getting smaller and smaller instead of bigger. I felt like when the day came for my mom to leave this world, I'd feel so alone. And in turn, my daughter would feel the same way when it was my time. Now, we are surrounded by so much family. We are completely loved and accepted by our new external family. I look forward to family vacations and Christmas now. I know some day I'm going to be covered in grandchildren and that thought makes me ecstatic. I'm pretty sure my days of feeling alone are over.

You hear a lot of horror stories about blending families. We did the other day right here on this blog. And my heart goes out to those families, because it doesn't have to be that way. What's best for the children is all those parents co-parenting together. I'm not saying I have the perfect situation, because believe me I could tell you some stories. It's been a crazy bumpy road. Sometimes when you are coming into a crazy situation, there really isn't anything you can do about it. I can only do my best to be the kind of mom to the boys that I'd want anyone else to be to my daughter. I like spreading good karma around like that. Karma is a muther I don't like to mess with.

Let's all try to spread a little good karma today. You might need some yourself later on.

Dot OUT!

Secrets of a Lassie

2008-09-25T13:54:00.001-04:00

Hi! I'm Kat from the Sassy Irish Lassie and Diane left me the keys to her blog while she is getting ready for her big race! (silly, silly girl) I've been scoping things out, looking in all her cupboards and just sat down with an extra large adult beverage. Since I have never blog-sat before, I have to admit I am a bit nervous about impressing a new bunch of readers. I mean, you come here expecting something and you get... well, me! But then a huge light went off! I can share a secret, disclose top secret stuff I can't write about on my blog - perfect!! But which secret should I share? Hmmmmm........

Ready... here it goes.... I am a ~~evil~~ stepmother. Shocking I know. Well you can't expect me to divulge my deepest and darkest on my first time do you?? Due to obvious reasons, I cannot and choose to not, write about my two stepdaughters on my blog. Especially since the time their mother tried to sneak them out of the country and forged their passports without my husband's knowledge - yeah, that got ugly. So I try to not lay claim to them to cover my a$$, cause she's psycho like that.

Anyway, a long while back, when I was a wee lass, I had such fantastic dreams of getting married, having 2.6 children, a dog and a house with a picket fence. Hello delusions!!! After quickly leaving an abusive marriage - oh yeah did I mention I was married before? Consider that secret #2! But I digress. *ahem* As I was saying, I was young and in the process of my divorce when Hottie Hubsters came around. "RUN away!!" said friends, "He's got baggage. It will never work!" said my parents, but it was too late - I was head over heels in love.

I also had no idea what I was in for. When we met, girl #1 was 4 and girl #2 was 1, so I was quickly transformed into instant mom - changing diapers and baby proofing my house. The first few years flew by and soon we welcomed a child of our own. Hubby travelled, so I was in charge of all three children but with stipulations. If his daughters misbehaved, I was not allowed to discipline them. I had to drive them to and from school, cook their meals, wash their clothes and everything else a mother has to do, but I was forbidden, by his ex, to parent. This led to many phone calls of me basically tattling to Hubby so he could discipline them over the phone. So. Lame. Did I mention it led to many, many fights?? After two years of this I was ready to throw in the towel. Life sucked! I disliked my husband because he would side with his girls instead of me and then they would turn around and make up lies about our house to get me in trouble with their Mom. Did I mentioned my life sucked?? Yeah, it did. This was SOOOO not what I signed up for. Where was the endless summer love? Where was my wedded bliss??

Well, in light of all the drama that is our life, will be celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary in a few weeks. Has it been all sunshine and tulips? Heck no! But together we have tackled many problems and relished in the good times. We have also, through the years, learned better techniques in dealing with ALL the issues that come with sharing equal custody of two children. While both houses are very different, ~~I still need to learn~~ we are learning that we can only control them when they are at our house and whatever crazy, insane and downright scary things happen at their Mom's, is not my our problem. I still struggle with this on a weekly basis - I mean HELLO I have control issues!!! - but I have toned down my rantings quite a bit. I also have to admit that I am secretly counting down the days till they both graduate - sshhhh, don't tell.

Now if I could only post all the great and scandalous stories I have from all these years I would be golden. Going out of town soon??

An Incident Involving Gum

2008-09-23T07:04:00.001-04:00

While Diane gears up for the big race (go Diane!), I'm happy to help keep her mind off her blog and take over posting for a day.

Oh, and I'm Laural from Mamasphere, by the way. Nice to meet all of you!

-----------------------------------------

I’ve had an incident from the weekend on my mind. An incident involving gum.

Gabi, my just turned four year old daughter, LOVES gum. And now that she loves gum, I have come to HATE gum.

I used to be a fan of gum, but gum and preschoolers do not mix. They are like oil and water. Whenever Gabi has gum, it slides right out of her mouth and attaches to something else in the house. Or car. And then I get very upset. So gum and I are no longer buds.

After too many furniture, hair and blanket tragedies, I banned gum and made a new rule (we're all about rules at our house lately) that Gabi isn't allowed to have any more gum until she is five.

And when gum isn’t in sight, she’s pretty accepting of this rule. But then she’ll see a gum commercial or another kid chewing away and all heck breaks loose and ultimately ends in tears. But after everything I’ve already gone through with the sticky stuff, tears do not sway me. This new rule is a hill I will die on.

Or so I thought.

Over the weekend I received a box of goodies from a Favorite Things swap I participated in. One of the items was gum. And Gabi honed in on that little pack like it was the only thing in the whole room. She petted it. She smelled it. She watched me with her big green eyes to see if I would let her have a piece. Finally, she couldn’t take it anymore.

Gabi: Mommy? I need to tell you something.

Me: What is it?

Gabi: Mommy, I'm telling the TRUTH. Really I am. Mommy, I need to tell you something really important.

She rubbed her hands against my cheeks, trying to butter me up.

Gabi: I promise that this time I won't do what I did last time if you let me have a piece of your gum.

Me: No, honey. You know the rule.

Gabi: PLEASE, mommy. I promise to be good. I'm telling you the truth, I really am! That thing I did last time, I promise I won't do it again!

Knowing this was going to go on and on, I resorted to an old mom's standby and said something to make her think I was saying yes.

Me: Okay, honey, WE'LL SEE.

And then the fun began.

Gabi: Yay! I know, mommy! I will do three chores and then I can have a piece of gum! I'm going to make a CHART!

And she did. She drew a picture for each chore she was going to do, then put a check next to it after it was done.

I didn't have the heart to tell her that her work was all for naught, so after the third check had been marked (and, oh, how my organizationally obsessed heart sang when she wanted to make a chart! and then used checks!) I relented and let her have a piece of gum. I mean, list making deserves an award!

Gabi was in total heaven for the whole two minutes that the gum stayed in her mouth.

Why oh why did I think I could look away for even a second? Because that gum slid straight out of her mouth and attached itself to a couch cushion.

And Gabi, afraid she'd get in trouble, didn't pick it up or tell me about it. So when I sat down later that day, I didn't know that I was in for a really special surprise. A gummy couch AND gummy pajama pants.

Luckily our cushions are treated and the gum came off without too much damage (though damage there is). But the pajama pants had to go in the garbage.

The rest of the gum pack is with me here at work, safely out of the reach of a gum loving four year old that just isn't quite old enough to handle the responsibility attached to such a treat.

I’m wondering if five is far enough off. Maybe we should make it seven.

Give them love ... they deserve it

2008-09-22T16:00:00.000-04:00

There are exactly five days before my ride. I am overcome with a strange mixture of nerves and excitement that is hard to describe. Since this is the only thing I'll be thinking this week, I've enlisted the help of some super awesome bloggers to help get me (and you) through the week.

So, sit back and enjoy the ride … and be sure to give them lots of love. They're helping me out so much this week and since I blog for free, I'll never be able to repay them.

Don't say a word

2008-09-17T15:41:00.004-04:00

Shhh, I have a secret.

Don't tell anyone or else it will be jinxed.

I've been having terrible luck here in recent weeks. Every time I make a grand announcement about some major milestone, my kids go and prove me wrong that very night.

Can-in-point: Sophia goes on the potty. Yes, I may have said she is doing very well, but the day after I wrote that post she decided she wasn't ready for potty training by flat out refusing to even sit on the potty. Last week I decided Pull Ups were too expensive and since she stopped even trying to go, we went back to diapers until she's ready. The princess potty is now just a stool for her to stand on while she washes her hands. Maybe she'll use it one day.

See what I mean?

OK. Are you ready for the secret?

Good.

Sophia has slept through the night every night for a full week. In her own bed. Alone!

Ahhhh! Hooray!

Shhh! Quiet, please, she might hear this and I'll never have a good night's sleep again.

Birthday parties and bike rides make Mommy too tired to write

2008-09-15T10:57:00.006-04:00

I haven't been posting here very regularly for the past several weeks and I'm sorry about that, but I've been a bit preoccupied with some goings on. First it was the big first birthday bash for Ryan, which I am glad to say was pretty chaos-free. It was fun and I have to say that I am more than thankful that that was the last first birthday party I'll ever have to plan. Next, of course, is the upcoming MS150 ride that is in, gulp, two weeks. I can't promise regular posts until after the ride, but bear with me, please. When I have less on my mind I'll get back to regular postings, I swear.

Yesterday my team and I rode 64 miles in sweltering heat and humidity. The temperature reached at least 95 degrees with humidity that was so thick and heavy it was actually hard to breath. I seriously thought I might die during the ride. In fact, it was so hot that I actually had a breakdown and we had to pull off to the side of the road to let me calm down. I started bawling like a baby. I couldn't help it, I felt defeated; the weather had done me in. But after I got my cry out, I sucked it up and we managed to finish 64 miles. I'm proud that we were able to do that distance under terrible conditions yesterday, but I'm praying for better weather for the actual ride.

Speaking of the big ride, I wrote a column about my upcoming ride that appeared in The Mercury newspaper Sunday. You can read it by clicking here.

So, without further adieu, here are a few photos from Ryan's first birthday party.

I love this picture of Ryan. I think he looks exactly like Sophia in it that it's spooky.

Happy Birthday, Buddha-Buddha

2008-09-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

To My Little Ry-Guy,

When you were born, you had chunky cheeks, lots of hair and a temperament that announced to the world that you weren’t fooling around. You were all business.

But you were born into a family that was anything but all business. When you met your big sister, you somehow understood that first few months of life weren’t going to be easy, but we loved you. We loved every last ounce of you. We also knew that even though you may not be ready to show your inner goofball, it was inside, waiting to come out.

You prefered peace and tranquility, so you became our little Buddha-Buddha.

As the weeks went by, you slowly found your place among our family.

You got yourself a job, and finally started pulling your own weight. (No, of course he didn't have to get a job, but the picture was just too cute to leave out!)

You started to come into your own. You were our silly little Ry-Guy.

You learned to love hanging out with your big sister ...

... that is as long as she wasn’t trying to squash you.

Weeks turned to months and you learned to roll over,

Sit up,

Feed yourself,

Crawl,

Stand up,

and eventually walk.

You’ve grown so much and come so far in the last year. I can’t believe that just 12 short months ago you were so small and so helpless. Now you are running around and playing like nothing can stop you.

Happy First Birthday, Ryan. Your Daddy and I love you very much.

Sleep, sweet sleep

2008-09-08T15:47:00.005-04:00

I think Sophia has taken over this blog. It's been going on for so long that I'm thinking of renaming it The Sophia Diaries. Between her endless screaming in the middle of the night, her refusing to use the potty and running away to play on historical monuments, her antics have taken over my life. But I swear, I really do have two kids and the other is quite busy.

I've kind of avoided talking about him these last few weeks because, well, he's normally a very happy little boy and he recently has not been happy at all. This change came about when Ryan's one-year-old ohmygodpleasecutthroughhisgumsalready molars started coming in. His poor little gums are swollen and red and he is simply miserable, like all his molars are coming in at once. I wouldn't be surprised. The kid has 8 teeth already, not counting the ones coming in. Saturday morning, we found that the top right molar finally cut through the gum. Only 3 more to go!

Now, to get some sleep. Sleep, sweet sleep. I haven't missed you this much since Ryan was first born and would wake up 3 to 4 times a night. Sufficiently Tylenol'd and Oragel'd, Ryan will sleep through the night, and it's a good thing because that big girl bed Sophia is sporting is a challenge for all of us. At least one of us should be getting a good night's sleep and since it's not me, it might as well be Ryan.

Beautiful Princess sheets came in the mail on Saturday and they are washed and ready to go, but we're holding out on her. We've instituted Marshall Law over the sheets. No Princess sheets until she sleeps the whole night in her own bed without screaming for us once. I have a feeling it will be quite some time before that happens.

So, my question, why is it so hard for toddlers to transition to a new bed? In Sophia's case, it's the same damn bed just with the side taken off. The three other crib sides are still up. Why is she waking up? She's always been a pretty good sleeper, so what's changed? Is it newfound freedom that makes children not sleep?

See how Sophia snuck into this post and made it all about her? She is very sneaky.

If you look closely you can see the drool, it's endless!

Look! Look!

2008-09-05T10:03:00.003-04:00

There is exactly three weeks of training left until the MS150 City to Shore ride, and look what I got in the mail already ...

It's my rider number! Getting this has renewed my excitement for the ride. I still can't believe I'm doing this, but I know I can and it will be a lot of work, but worth every second.

There she goes

2008-09-03T20:22:00.010-04:00

This weekend, we took the kids to Valley Forge National Historic Park. The weather was beautiful and the kids were in a great mood, so after a walk around the park, we took them both out of the stroller and they let loose. As soon as the seatbelt was off, Sophia was off and running to explore on her own. She's a big girl now and that apparently means she can run off on her own. It might be time for a leash.

This is where we put down the camera and chase after her.

With much self-confidence, she marches over to climb on a monument ... all by herself. Thank you very much.

She is a very proud, strong-willed, independent little girl. Exactly how I wanted her to be.

Betchfest is over, but I'm still bitching

2008-09-02T10:25:00.002-04:00

Betchfest 2008 is over and I hope a lot of bloggers were able to get a lot off their chests. I was happy to lend my blog out to help those who needed to blow off a little steam.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled program ...

Why is it that I cannot leave the house in black pants without having snot all over them by the time I get to work?

I made the fatal mistake of wearing black pants to work today. As usual, I've been battling a little fuzz from something they were recently wash with, but I swear, when I left the house it was just a battle with fuzz. However, just now, I as I was walking through the office, I looked down at my pants to survey the fuzz and what did I find? A big smear of snot. Gross!

I work in a pretty casual environment and don't exactly have to dress up every day, but some days I like to look nice.

Sigh

Maybe one day it will happen.

Sophia update … Sophia update!

Somehow, it must have been an act of God or something, Sophia slept in her big girl bed until 6 a.m. this morning. Yay! I hope it wasn't a fluke and I can expect her to do the same for many nights to come. When she woke up this morning, we made a huge deal about how much of a big girl she is for sleeping all night in her bed, I hope it works and it continues.

Also, there are only a couple days left to vote at Sunshine's Celebrity Lookalike contest. I'm pretty far behind in the polls, so give me a boost and vote for me!

Betchfest 2008

2008-09-01T21:39:00.002-04:00

In honor of Betchfest weekend, The Mommy Diaries is being taken over. If you haven't heard about Betchfest you can read all the details over in The Basement.The following post is part of the Betchfest exchange. The Mommy Diaries has offered this space so another person could find a safe space to rant and rave - something we all need to do every once and a while.

I get loyalty. I get friendship. I even get wanting to protect someone you care about. I understand that we do actually build relationships and bonds with some of the other bloggers we meet online and that we care about those people. I have learned much about myself in the past three years of blogging and I have made a few "friends." That being said, what is driving me crazy is the constant "OMG someone commented and didn't agree so lets all let that person have it. They must be stupid/jealous/gay/lonely/bi-polar (or insert whatever word you've seen recently). Here is the thing, just because someone blogs something, that doesn't mean we all have to be in agreement. We don't have to take the words of our favorite bloggers as scripture. They are human, just like us, capable of mistakes, just like us. They have opinions Just. Like. Us. Don't put on the friend face and agree because it's the thing to do. Don't attack other commenter because they disagree with you or the blogger. Don't attack because a dissenting comment might hurt the feelings of the blogger or because you disagree with what they're saying or feel they are being mean to the blogger. We are adult now. Speak your mind but do it civilly. If the blogger is really interested in your opinion, they'll be thankful. It might be a secret thankful, but if they don't delete the comment, then chances are they read it and thought about it. If they too are adult, they aren't going to ban you from blog commenting forever more. And if they did? Remember what your mom used to say? They weren't worth your time in the first place.

Did anyone ever tell you that you look like ...

2008-08-29T21:06:00.006-04:00

Has anyone ever come up to you and said you looked like a celebrity? It happens to me almost every day, this guy I work with tells me I look like Liv Tyler. Honestly, I don't see it and it makes me feel little silly, but that's the kind of office I work in. So, when Sunshine offered up the opportunity to take part in her Celebrity Lookalike contest, I couldn't pass it up. She directed readers to visit this site to compare your photo with those of celebrities from around the world. After one upload I was hooked. I probably spent four days uploading various pictures of myself and finding matches. It was hysterical.

If you want to see the results and to vote (for me!!), visit Sunshine and take her poll for the blogger who most resembles their celebrity of choice. Oh, and don't forget to come back here and tell me what you think.

The ABCs of me

2008-08-27T20:52:00.005-04:00

Kat from Sassy Irish Lassie tagged me with this meme earlier this week and despite my initial enthusiasm at writing this, the events of the last few days have completely drained my ability to even think about this blog. Even now, as I'm writing this, I should be doing something else. I should be paying attention to my work, but seriously, I have an obligation here, so I'm going to do it. Here goes:

A. Attached or single? Attached.

B. Best friend? Besides my sister, I'd have to say that I couldn't possibly choose one superb friend over the other.

C. Cake or pie? Cake. Definitely, cake.

D. Day of choice? Saturday, because it's the only full day of the week my family has together.

E. Essential item? Lipstick.

F. Favorite color? Pink.

G. Gummy bears or worms? Gummy bears.

H. Hometown? Drexel Hill, PA. It's a suburb of Philadelphia.

I. Indulgence? Cadberry Cream Eggs. I am so addicted to them that I'll only allow myself to eat one a year and only on Easter.

J. January or July? July. I hate everything about the winter, so July wins.

K. Kids? I've got 2.5. Sophia, 2, Ryan, 11 months and my stepson, Jonathan, 14.

L. Life isn’t complete without? My family.

M. Marriage date? April 21, 2001.

N. Number of brothers & sisters? One sister and one brother.

O. Oranges or apples? I think I'd have to say oranges, but I like apples too.

P. Phobias? Heights. I get so afraid that my body actually freezes and I cannot move.

Q. Quotes? Live to fight another day. I'm not sure who originally said it, but it was my Mom who said it to me.

R. Reasons to smile? Every day, when I pick up my kids from daycare, Sophia jumps up and down and runs to the door to greet me with a big hug. Then we go to Ryan's classroom where Sophia runs to greet her little brother and they nearly knock each other with hugs.

S. Season of choice? Spring. I love the feeling of shaking off winter, when the days get longer and the sun gets warmer and it's too cool for shorts, but too warm for a coat.

T. Tag some peeps! Tag, you're it! Anyone who is reading this and wants to do it, go ahead. It is fun.

U. Unknown fact about me? I traveled to Israel and Poland on a study mission with the Anti-Defamation League the summer before my senior year in college. During the very educational and eye-opening trip, I went to a night club in Jerusalem and met an Israel solider. We talked for hours and shared drinks and cigarettes and ended our evening with a kiss that I'd like to say was passionate and beautiful, but I don't remembered the details because we shared a few too many drinks.

V. Vegetable? Hmmm, I like eggplant, but I don't really have a favorite.

W. Worst habits? Not changing the kitty litter.

X. X-ray or ultrasound? Well, if the question is which one have I had, I've had both. But, if the question is which on I prefer, I'd have to say ultrasound. The reason for an X-ray is never good.

Y. Your favorite food? My Mom's lasagna.

Z. Zodiac sign? Pisces and it describes me perfectly.

Now that you've been totally bored by my tendency to give out too much information, I have another announcement. DC Urban Dad awarded me a brilliant blogger award this week (there's a badge for this, but I can't seem to find the code for it). Yes, it's true, last week I was an ass-kicker and this week I am brilliant. I can't even believe it myself. Thanks DC, I really appreciate it!

Desperate times call for desperate measures

2008-08-26T11:05:00.002-04:00

The big girl bed is a complete disaster. Sophia will not sleep in it. In fact, she won't even lie down in it. She is completely fine throughout her entire bedtime routine until it's time to put her in that bed. The shrill screaming starts the second we put her in bed.

I go potty, she screams and cries. We put her on the potty and she goes and she's calm and excited about going on the potty. Back to bed, and the screaming begins.

I GO POTTY!

I GO POTTY!

You just went potty. Lay down, sweetheart.

Sleep with Mommy.

Daddy, sleep.

The crying and screaming continues until she is out of breath, but she doesn't give up and she will not lay down unless we are in bed with her. So last night, we converted her big girl bed back into a crib. Sophia was devastated.

I feel terrible about it, but at least she will lie down in the crib. Of course, we had to be in the room with her, but she did fall asleep, only to wake at 2 a.m. She climbed out of her crib, opened her bedroom door, all the while screaming for Mommy and Daddy. She ended up in our room and in bed with us. Again.

I know this is our fault and I know she is taking advantage of this situation, but what do I do to fix it? I cannot just leave her to scream for us at the top of the stairs because 1. I feel like I'm abandoning her and 2. she will wake up Ryan and I just can't emotionally deal with two screaming babies in the middle of the night.

We can't keep her in the crib because she can climb out and I am afraid of her falling and hurting herself. It's only a matter of time before she looses her grip and falls to the floor.

But I can't keep her in the big girl bed because, well, she won't sleep in it.

I asked the teachers at daycare and they suggested taking her out and letting her pick out her own brand new sheets to make the big girl bed more special. And they also suggested I just let her cry. Eventually she will either get back into bed or curl up on the floor and sleep. They also said it is easier said than done and I'm pretty sure I will never be able to do it.

So, I'm asking you, no begging, for help. Please help. I am a mother desperate to fix this situation before it gets worse. Have any of you dealt with this and if so, what worked for you? Any and all suggestions will be tried. I'm desperate for help.

Weekend update: Missing my babies

2008-08-25T12:15:00.005-04:00

Since I've never done anything like this before, I can only surmise that this happens to everyone. There is only five weeks left until the MS150, and I'm getting frustrated. I'm frustrated because all of my free time is spent on a bicycle and I miss my kids. Because my husband and I both work full time during the week, we get a grand total of about 3 hours a day with them (not counting middle of the night visits). Weekends are our only family time and this entire summer I have spent the better part of every single weekend riding my bike.

When we came home from our ride yesterday, Sophia was sitting at the kitchen table eating lunch with my aunt (who has watched the kids every single weekend this entire summer. Without her help we would never be able to do this ride). She looked up from her chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese, smiled and said, "Mommy home! I miss you."

I miss you too, honey.

I really, really do.

But I feel like I'm getting better and I want to finish this ride and I will not be able to do so if I don't train. I want to finish the ride because I can. I can when so many people cannot, especially many who are afflicted by Multiple Sclerosis. No, it is not a bike ride across the country and it's a far cry from the Tour de France, but it's my goal, and 150+ mile bike ride over two days is nothing to take lightly. I am not the best, the fast or even the rider who has raised the most money, but I am a rider.

But I am also a mother … a mother who misses spending time her children … two children who are growing up way too fast.

This will all be over soon and I want to keep riding, it is fantastic exercise and is really helping me get back into shape. But I'm hoping to bring it down a notch or two. Instead of riding 85 miles over the weekend (whoo hoo, that is what we did this weekend!!), we'll put the kids in a bike trailer or get a carrier for them and take them for a leisurely ride.

Do you have a love/hate relationship with anything that takes you away from your family? How do you manage?

Going with the flow

2008-08-21T10:42:00.003-04:00

The screaming started at 3:45 a.m., technically the "morning" but not really the morning at all. I looked at the clock and shut my eyes. There is no way I'm getting out of bed at this ungodly hour.

The screaming escalates and I pull the covers up around my face. Just ignore the screaming and it will stop.

The screaming stops for a moment and that's when I hear it. Knock. Knock. Knock. It gets my attention and I listen harder. The screaming continues, MOMMY. MOMMY! Knock. Knock.
(Yes, that was a Mommy!)

I lumber out of bed and slowly open Sophia's bedroom door and there she is, standing there looking up at me. She's wide awake and in a surprisingly pleasant mood.
It's not wake up time, honey. Let's go back to sleep.

I go potty, Mommy.

OK, let's go to the potty.

It's now 4 a.m. Sophia and I stumble our way into the bathroom. I put the potty seat on the toilet as she pulls down her Pull Ups. I lift her up on the potty. I don't have much faith that she's actually going to do anything, so I tell her that I'm leaving the bathroom to get a new Pull Up because the one she was wearing was wet.

Walking out of the bathroom, I hear the unmistakable sound of peeing in the potty. I'm so excited that she's actually going. She hasn't gone on the potty at home in almost a week, although she's going at daycare. I'm thrilled that she woke up and climbed out of her crib because she had to go to the bathroom. (OK, I'm not so excited about the climbing out of her crib part) But it's FOUR O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING and I really don't want to be awake now.
I want to go back to sleep.

With a clean Pull Up in hand, I go back into the bathroom and quietly praise her for going on the potty. I give her a hug, tell her how proud I am of her, and she's thrilled.

I go potty, Mommy.

I know honey, I am so proud of you. But now it's time to go back to sleep.

Inside my head I'm freaking out about putting her back in her crib. What happens if she climbs out again, but this time she falls? So I guide one very proud, happy and wide awake little girl into my bedroom and tell her she can sleep in Mommy's bed, but she has to go to sleep because it's not morning yet.

There she lies, tossing and turning, adjusting pillows and pushing me to the very edge of the bed trying to get comfy. For 45 minutes.

Note sleeping husband. Why, oh why can I not sleep through crying babes like he can? WHY?

Just when I think I'm doomed to be awake for the rest of the day it happens: sweet, sweet silence. She's asleep, and I drift off to sleep and have one of the weirdest dreams I've had in a while.

I was in a car with a very pregnant woman with long brown hair, and we're sightseeing on a busy highway. We get out of the car and explore the side of the road. Then we visit a small home next to the road with a small boy sitting in the front yard.

At 6:30 on the dot, Ryan starts to cry. I need to get him before his crying wakes Sophia. I turn and look at my beautiful sleeping daughter. She's such a big girl I can hardly stand it.

She wakes shortly after Ryan and now the hole house is a awake (note now awake husband). I try to keep the potty momentum going and get her to sit on the potty again. No way. She reminds me that she already went on the potty.

I went potty, Mommy.

Apparently, she has a one-potty-a-day clause and refuses to go for the rest of the morning.
Tonight, I think, Daddy and Mommy will be converting Sophia's crib into a daybed (thank God for the convertible crib) and our little baby girl will be sleeping in a brand new big girl bed for the very first time.

Heaven help us.