The Power Of Mortality™ Blog

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2007-10-10T13:50:00.000-04:00

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-Patrick

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2007-09-27T19:42:00.000-04:00

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The Last Lecture

2007-09-20T15:42:00.000-04:00

Here's a great story about a professor who is giving his last lecture because he has pancreatic cancer and has been given only weeks to live.

His message is wonderful! But don't wait until you have weeks to live to start putting it into practice!

WHEN Are You?

2007-09-11T11:57:00.000-04:00

I have a question for you.

If you are not living "in the moment", just when are you living? This is not a trick question, nor is it a rhetorical question. Think about your answer carefully.

As I see it, there are three times: past, present and future. I believe that while it is important to think about the past and the future, it is very dangerous to LIVE in either of these times.

So far, scientists have said that time travel is impossible. Yet I know someone who does it on a regular basis! She is able to instantly return to a past time, in the blink of an eye. If the wrong name is mentioned or a painful subject is raised, this person is able to instantly transport herself back to the moment when the pain and anger were fresh. Her entire demeanor changes and it is as though she is back reliving the entire event. She can instantly ruin a great mood in the present just by thinking of some issues that are long past.

If you want to live a life that is fearless, I urge you to learn the lessons that your past has to teach and then move beyond them into the present! Keep the lessons (because you can use those in the present), but leave the circumstances that brought you those lessons - they are relics of the past and can serve no useful purpose in the present.

So what about the future? Living in the future has its own dangers. I'd like to point to three of them.

1. We might never start living. In my book, I wrote about "The Once Trap". Too often we are waiting for something to happen before we allow ourselves to start living.
"Once I get the promotion..."
"Once I finish MBA..."
"Once I weigh a certain amount..."

We can get caught up in "the once trap" and forget that ONCE is exactly how many times today comes around! We need to be mindful of this and make the most of every moment that we have.

2. We can be so goal-oriented that we don't take time to appreciate what we've already achieved. Consider a dieter who obsesses so much over losing the last five pounds that they forget to rejoice over how much they've already lost.

3. What happens to you when you achieve your goals? In his autobiography, astronaut Buzz Aldrin said that after walking on the moon, everything else in life seemed insignificant. This is clearly a person who was so focused on one goal for so long, that he forgot that simply walking on THIS planet each day is a tremendously significant achievement.

You're here now. So BE NOW!

Agent of Synchronicity

2007-08-31T13:33:00.000-04:00

Have you ever had it happen that you find yourself in need of something and suddenly... someone comes into your life with exactly what you require?

That's called Synchronicity. And it happens to me all of the time. In fact, I work to cultivate it!

But lately, I've found that more and more, I'm the someone who shows up in people's lives, rather than the person who is in need.

Case in point: Earlier this week, I was a guest on an Internet Radio program called The Coaching Show. We were discussing how my concept of the Power of Mortality™ can be used by coaches to help their clients get to the heart of any issue. {You can listen to the interview (there are three segments) here.}

It just so happened that Jodi Larson, a Master Certified Coach and co-host of the show, was calling in from a hospital in Chicago because her mother was in the Intensive Care Unit. During the course of the interview, she said:
"This is a great conversation to be in! Its energizing. Motivating. And its so absolutely, perfectly timely for me." Then she went on to share with me and the entire audience that it has been just over two years since the unexpected death of her husband. "Patrick, I would probably be a perfect client for you."

I find it incredibly gratifying that I am able to take my personal story and the lessons that I've learned from it and help others by sharing it with them! It always makes my day when someone says: "It's amazing that I'm meeting you right now at this stage in my life! You won't believe it, but I'm going through...."

I LOVE being an agent of Synchronicity!

How Do YOU Find Work/Life Balance?

2007-08-28T14:41:00.000-04:00

I received an e-mail today from someone I used to work with nearly 10 years ago. As he was updating me on his life, he told me that he recently took a year off in order to establish some work/life balance. He said that it had been about 13 stress-filled years since his last real vacation!

What about you?

How do you find proper work/life balance?

Dream BIG - The Sky Is No Longer The Limit!

2007-08-27T15:28:00.000-04:00

How big are your dreams?

In my Mortality Manifesto, I encourage you to be constantly moving in the direction of your dreams. But how big are those dreams and what limits have you placed on them?

I read a news item last week and between the story and the associated photos, I haven't been able to stop smiling. It's a story about dreaming BIG and I want to tell you about it.

Have you ever thought about becoming an astronaut? What about simply a space tourist? Now let's think about this for a moment... when you travel as a tourist, what are you left with when your journey is over? Yes, you have memories that last a lifetime. Yes, you have fun travel stories to tell. But for many people, the real legacy of a trip are the photos they take along the way. Imagine being able to amaze and amuse your friends with the photos that you took on your trip to outer space!

Well, that's the kind of big dreams I'm talking about!

On August 11, 2007, a group of regular guys from Canada (southern Alberta, to be exact) launched a high altitude helium balloon from one of their backyards. Attached to the balloon was a box containing an ordinary digital camera which was set to take photos every 60 seconds. The box also contained a special tracking device to allow them to follow the balloon's progress and retrieve it when it landed. Just above the box was a parachute (to slow down the descent when the balloon burst at high altitude) and just below the box was an antenna for the tracking device.

Sound crazy? I thought so. After all - how far up would something like that realistically go?

But guess what? This homemade contraption rose to an incredible 117,597 feet above the earth before the balloon burst! When it did burst, the parachute worked perfectly, ensuring the safe return of the camera. And the tracker enabled the men to chart the balloon's progress and safely retrieve it.

So what does Alberta, Canada look like from space? (or at least 117,597 feet above ground)

(http://www.sbszoo.com/bear/sable/images/sbl3/117597ft.jpg)

For me, this incredible photo is many things. Of course it is a beautiful and awe-inspiring piece of photography. But more than that, it is a testament to the fact that we all need to dream bigger and reach higher. The fact that this was the third attempt by these men to accomplish this feat, serves to remind us that we need to persevere in the face of setbacks and learn from what didn't work in order to improve for the next time. Ultimately, it proves that any one of us can have a photo album from "space" if we want it enough and are willing to work for it!

Ever since I saw this photo and read the story, I have been using this image as my background for both my notebook and my BlackBerry. And every time I see it - I smile and I dream a little bigger!

(Read all about the story and see more photos at: http://www.sbszoo.com/bear/sable/sable3.htm)

"The Coaching Show" - August 29th

2007-08-24T14:16:00.000-04:00

Christopher McAuliffe is the host of an Internet radio show called The Coaching Show. I am honored to be his guest on the August 29th, show.

The show airs live at 08h00 Pacific on Wednesday August 29th.

You can find it at: http://www.wsradio.com

How To Have A STROKE

2007-08-15T09:21:00.000-04:00

During my presentation this week to the International Coach Federation’s Virtual Community, I spoke about an article I had written called “How To Have A Stroke”. Many people expressed interest in the article, so I thought I’d re-post it here.

…..

In my book, “What’s Your Expiry Date?“, I wrote that my goal was to help people understand the Power of Mortality™ without the need for them to undergo a traumatic event. On October 10, 2006, twelve years after discovering the Power of Mortality™, I suffered a stroke.

Technically, it was a Transient Ischemic Attack or TIA. As I lay in the hospital for a week following the event, I realized that, thanks to the Power of Mortality™, there was nothing - not one thing - in my life that I needed to change! How many people could say that when faced with their own death?

Thankfully, I made a full recovery from the TIA and suffered no deficits or after effects. When I first wrote about this in my newsletter, one of my subscribers suggested that TIA could also stand for “Teaching In Action”. I really liked that idea! So, in the spirit of using acronyms, I would like to present a short lesson on “How to have a STROKE“

S - STOP!
You can do it. You can take some time for yourself. Let the rest of the world take care of itself for a while. You owe yourself this time. Besides, if you don’t stop once in a while, life has a habit of stopping you.

T - Take stock of your life. Who have you become? Who did you intend to be? How do you feel about that? Be honest with yourself.

R - Realize that you are not owed any specific amount of time on this earth. Likewise, you need to realize that your loved ones are not guaranteed any specific amount of time.

O - Open yourself up and listen. You’re listening for the small voice inside of you. It may take a few minutes or it may take a few days, but you will hear it. This voice comes from your heart of hearts - listen to what it has to say about your life. The process of tapping into the Power of Mortality™ isn’t something you can “think” your way through. It must be felt at the core of your being. The problem is that most of us are very out of touch with the core of our being because we are too busy letting life live us. We never intend for it to happen that way - it just does.

K - Keep in mind the principles of the Mortality Manifesto. Commit to aligning your life with your dreams. Commit to paying attention to your thoughts, words and actions. Realize that everything in your life happens because of your thoughts, words and actions and it is up to you to ensure that these three things are moving you in the direction of your dreams. Free yourself from fear and regret by keeping your focus on the present moment.

E - Embrace your life by embracing your mortality. EVERYDAY!

Let me finish by saying that I sincerely hope that this is the only STROKE that you ever have to experience. However, if you approach this exercise with a sincere heart and actually work though the process I know that you’ll be ready for whatever life brings your way in the future.

ENJOY NOW!

The Power of Mortality™ - Step 1

2007-08-14T09:18:00.000-04:00

The Power of Mortality™ is not about death. It’s about life! Accepting your mortality isn’t about giving in to death - it is about truly living your life on purpose.

Today, I want to discuss the first, and most difficult step in using the Power of Mortality: accepting your own mortality. Not the idea of your mortality - but rather the fact that you are mortal. On one level, we all know that we are mortal and will one day die. But I’m not talking about accepting it at the intellectual level - I’m talking about accepting it at the deep down, gut level. The same level that I felt when I was told my expiry date. The same level that has been felt by anyone who has ever had a police officer knock at their door at 3AM, or had a doctor show them a strange spot on an x-ray. THAT level.

In my workshops and keynote presentations, I often get a great deal of resistance from people about this particular step in the process. They squirm uncomfortably in their seats, look at the floor and wait for me to move on to the next point. But without accepting and even embracing your mortality, all of the other steps that I will outline in the next few posts are simply handy goal-setting exercises. The true power comes from your willingness to face the thing that we fear most.

In my presentations I always tell people that they have a choice. They can face death on their terms, or on its terms. If you wait for death to come to you, then you will face it from a position of powerlessness. After all, it is hard to make changes in your life when you are at the end of your life. On the other hand, if you take the initiative and face death now, you can do so from a position of immense power - the power to make meaningful changes in your life!

As I said at the beginning, this is the first and most difficult step in the process. So it will take some time. Just to help you along, consider the following:

The August 2006 issue of National Geographic has a very interesting article on the topic of death. Based on 2003 data from the US National Safety Council, here are the lifetime probabilities of a U.S. resident dying from various causes.

Heart Disease - 1 in 5
Cancer - 1 in 7
Stroke - 1 in 24
Motor vehicle accident - 1 in 84
Suicide - 1 in 119
Falling - 1 in 218
Firearm assault - 1 in 314
Pedestrian accident - 1 in 626
Drowning - 1 in 1,008
Motorcycle accident - 1 in 1,020
Fire or smoke - 1 in 1,113
Bicycling accident - 4,919
Air/Space accident - 1 in 5,051
Accidental firearm discharge - 1 in 5,134
Accidental electrocution - 1 in 9,969
Alcohol poisioning - 1 in 10,048
Hot weather - 1 in 13,729
Hornet, wasp or bee sting - 1 in 56,789
Legal execution - 1 in 62,468
Lightning - 1 in 79,746
Earthquake - 1 in 117,127
Flood - 1 in 144, 156
Fireworks discharge - 1 in 340,733

In my mind, the most interesting statistic of all is the one that is most often overlooked. Namely:

Total odds of dying - 1 in 1 (100%)

The Link Between Terrorism, Bird Flu, and Gang Violence

2007-08-10T09:12:00.000-04:00

Earlier this week Steven D. Levitt, one of the co-authors of Freakonomics, posted a blog article titled: “If You Were A Terrorist, How Would You Attack?“. As you might imagine, this topic generated a tremendous amount of passionate responses. Later in the week, Levitt addressed some of these responses in a follow-up article titled: “Terrorism, Part II“. I was one of the people who commented on his follow-up (I’m #18) and I’d like to take a moment here to expand on my comments.

I feel that there is a link between Osama Bin Laden, bird flu and gang violence. I have done a number of radio interviews where I’ve discussed this point. In fact, the subject even came up during my hour on Oprah & Friends Radio. I maintain that all of these things have two things in common: FEAR and CONTROL. Inherently we fear anything we cannot control.

That’s why terrorism “works”. I don’t believe that terrorists use roadside bombs simply to kill people (there are far more efficient ways to do that). Terrorists use roadside bombs to instill uncertainty and fear. We fear the actions of terrorists precisely because: a) we can’t predict what they will do next; and b) we can’t control their actions - there is just no way to have a contingency for every possibility.

It’s the same with the threats of bird flu and gang violence - we can’t control them and we fear that we will be affected by them.

But at the root of it all, is our fear of death.

We can’t control the fact that we are going to die. There is nothing we can do to change the fact that one day our bodies will stop working. And for people in the Western world - that lack of control terrifies us. So we externalize the fear. We obsess about the things we feel we can control. For some it is their health. For others it is their safety. And increasingly for the USA, it is the idea of “national security”.

But how big is the threat of terrorism? In his second blog post, Levitt says: “The actual cost of … terrorism in terms of human lives is relatively small, compared to other causes of death like motor-vehicle crashes, heart attacks, homicide, and suicide. It is the fear that imposes the real cost.“

And that’s where the Power of Mortality™ comes in.

Once you’ve embraced your mortality and accepted the fact that you have a limited and uncertain amount of time on this earth - the fear melts away. After all - what are you going to fear if you no longer fear death? Oh - and as an added bonus, embracing your mortality allows you to live a life filled with vitality! I tell people that I can help them live lives that are “FEARLESS, FOCUSED and FREE FROM REGRETS”

Interested? Start with the Mortality Manifesto.

Presenting to the International Coach Federation

2007-08-07T09:09:00.000-04:00

I am honored to have been asked to be a guest speaker for the International Coach Federation’s Virtual Community.

On August 13th, I will be presenting a program called “Getting to the Heart of the Matter”. It is designed to help coaching clients get to the heart of the matter by using the Power of Mortality™.

Mindful Awareness

2007-08-07T09:07:00.000-04:00

Over the years, I have spoken and written a lot about the idea of “Mindful Awareness”. I feel that it is a very powerful tool for maintaining the new perspective that comes with embracing the Power of Mortality™.

Now it’s your turn!

Tell us your thoughts on Mindful Awareness.

Share your secrets for staying mindful.

Do you have a favorite author(s) on the subject?

Do you have any rituals that help you stay mindful?

What about music that helps with mindfulness?

Online Radio Interview

2007-07-17T08:57:00.000-04:00

You can check out an online radio interview that I did with Ron Graves on the 7th Wave Network.

The show is called Achieving the Extraordinary and always features uplifting stories. Ron is a real gentleman and it was a pleasure to be interviewed by him.

Even though the show was aired live on July 11th, you can still listen to the interview.

Drive Safely!

2007-07-07T08:55:00.000-04:00

On Friday I received a call from a company that has been a client of mine for the past year or so. When I heard Roy’s voice, I naturally assumed that it was a business call. He asked me if I had recently received a call from Karl (the owner of the company). I became excited, thinking: “If Karl is involved, it must be a great business opportunity!“

Instead, Roy said, “I’m just calling to let you know that David was killed in a car accident on Tuesday.“

Wow.

David was a co-worker of theirs and one of my favorite people to work with since he struck the perfect balance between being a business-person and being a friend. After a moment I said to Roy: “Didn’t he have young kids?“

Yes, David was killed at the age of 44 leaving behind a wife and three boys.

Roy told me that the police investigators told them that David was driving on a regional road (not a major highway) at mid-morning. The weather was good. It appears as though David undid his seat-belt and was reaching for something on the passenger side of the car, which caused him to move his driving hand ever-so-slightly to the left. He died in a head-on collision with a tanker truck.

We’ve all done silly things in our cars. Cell phones, coffee, food, and many other things can cause us to drive less safely than we should. The news about David was a cold, hard reminder that life-and-death events can occur in an instant and all it takes is one split-second slip in our attention.

Later in the day, I happened to come across David’s business card, which, for some strange reason, was lying on a corner of my desk and not in the card file box. I took his business card and put it by the gauges in the dash of my car, to serve as a reminder to ALWAYS drive safely.

You’ll be missed, Dave!

1117

2007-07-01T08:51:00.000-04:00

Last week I overheard two ladies talking. Apparently they hadn’t seen each other for quite some time and were catching up. The part of the conversation that I overheard went like this: “Yes, I still find it hard to believe that I lost my husband eleven hundred and seventeen days ago.”

I was astounded when I heard that! I quickly did the math and realized that this woman’s husband had died over three years ago. Three years and she was still counting the days!

Now I’m not trying to downplay the tremendous grief that can come from losing a loved one. I certainly don’t question her right to feel the pain for as long as necessary - we all grieve in different ways. But the first thing that came to my mind was: “I wonder if she can tell me how many days they were married?”

Or for that matter, I wonder if she knows how many days old she is?

It is unfortunate that our society finds it more acceptable to focus on the loss of something, than on the joy of having it. Imagine the strange looks that I’d get if I met an old friend and had this conversation:

“So are you married now?”

“Yes, my wife and I have been married for two thousand, two hundred and twenty seven days! And we’ve been enjoying our son for seventeen hundred and eighty-seven days and our daughter has been lighting up our lives now for five hundred and ninety-nine days!”

It is often said that we don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone. Please do yourself and your loved ones a favor and be sure to cherish each and every day that you have together.

By the way, if you want to calculate things for yourself, you can go to: http://www.timeanddate.com/date/duration.html

ENJOY NOW!
~~~

Subscribe to the Mindful Moment Podcast

Integration: Positive From Negative

2007-06-03T08:49:00.000-04:00

Last week, I introduced the topic of Integration.

Today, I want to start discussing some methods for beginning to integrate the Power of Mortality™ into your life.

Obviously, in order to start taking advantage of The Power of Mortality™, one of the first things you need to do is ensure that you are very clear about the life you would like to be living. In the past, I’ve provided some suggestions for getting started on the voyage of self-discovery. I even have an entire section devoted to this in “The Mortality Manual - A Workbook for Tapping Into The Power of Mortality“. Today I want to suggest another approach.

I want you to to look to the negative in order to discover the positive. I want you to think about all of the negative thoughts and feelings that you have about your life. Think about your work-life, your family-life, your financial-life, your relationships, your health, your social-life, your leisure time and so on. Now notice any negative thoughts or feelings that may arise.

Now - this part is very important! You are NOT to dwell on these negative emotions. You are only noticing them in order to bring your attention to areas of your life that you would like to change. In fact, when you get right down to it - that is the purpose for negative feelings and emotions: to highlight what we don’t want so that we can begin to create the circumstances that will bring us the feelings and emotions that we do want.

This week I want you to be on the lookout for negativity in your life. When you encounter it do your best to avoid getting sucked into the judgments and drama and instead simply notice negativity and think about what you would like to be experiencing instead.

ENJOY NOW!
~~~

Subscribe to the Mindful Moment Podcast

Integration

2007-05-28T08:38:00.000-04:00

Why does Western society have such a problem with obesity?

It’s certainly not for a lack of information. There are government food guidelines for healthy eating. There are millions of books on the subject of nutrition. There are countless people who make their living as nutritionists, ready and willing to help us understand the impact of what we put in our mouths. And then there are all of the diet programs that promise results.

It’s certainly not for a lack of possible fitness activities. There are gyms and fitness studios galore - each of them with personal trainers for hire and all promising to deliver “a new you”. And then there are the “freelance” personal trainers who will come right to your home to help you exercise. We have an entire industry built around exercise and fitness equipment. From high-tech running shoes to exercise bikes and full-size weight-lifting machines for your house.

The issue is that information and activity options, in and of themselves, are useless if they are not integrated into our lifestyle.

Integration is the key to success!

The same can be said of the epidemic of consumer debt in Western society. The problem is not a lack of information or “plans” to help you save more, spend less and invest wisely. The financial “experts” are everywhere and are quite happy to help you tackle your debt situation. The problem is integrating this new lifestyle into your daily activities.

Whether it is a new retirement savings plan, a new way of eating or a new fitness regimen, you will only be successful if these new practices become ingrained into your day-to-day life and become an integral part of who you are.

The same is true about the Power of Mortality™. You can read my book, you can listen to the podcast, and you can subscribe to these Mindful Moments - but the true power of living a life that is Fearless, Focused and Free From Regrets will only be yours if you integrate the Power of Mortality™ into your life.

In the coming weeks I’ll be discussing how to integrate the Power of Mortality™ into your life.

ENJOY NOW!
~~~

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What’s On Your List?

2007-05-20T08:34:00.000-04:00

If you go to Amazon.com and search for the phrase “before you die” you will find an incredible number of books. You’ll find titles such as:

1,000 Places to See Before You Die
1001 Gardens You Must See Before You Die
Unforgettable Places to See Before You Die
Unforgettable Things to Do Before You Die
1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die
1001 Movies You Must See Before You Die
1001 Albums You Must Hear Before You Die
1001 Paintings You Must See Before You Die
Fifty Places to Sail Before You Die
Fifty Places to Fly Fish Before You Die

What about you?

Have you made any of your own “… before I die” lists?

If not, why not? It’s a lot of fun!

If you have (or you would like to get started), I encourage you to share them right now by adding a comment!

Make your “before I die” list and then get busy crossing off the items! You’ll thank me later!

ENJOY NOW!
~~~

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Wishing Our Lives Away?

2007-05-15T08:32:00.000-04:00

Recently a friend let me borrow her copy of The Greatest Miracle In The World by Og Mandino. Towards the end of the book he writes:

Remember the child who says, “when I am a big boy.” But what is that? For the big boy says, “when I grow up.” And then grown up, he says, “when I am wed.” But to be wed, what is that, after all? The thought then changes to “when I retire.” And then, retirement comes, and he looks back over the landscape traversed; a cold wind sweeps over it and somehow he has missed it all and it is gone.

Enjoy this day, today … and tomorrow, tomorrow.

That quote summarizes two of the main reasons that I want people to know about The Power of Mortality™. I never want anyone to look back at their life and feel that they’ve missed something. Likewise, I want to ensure that people aren’t wishing today away while waiting for a “better tomorrow”.

So what about you? Are you making the most of each day? Tell us about it!

One Year Left?

2007-05-14T08:18:00.000-04:00

The Power of Mortality™ is about getting you to a position where you wouldn’t want to change a thing about your life if you found out that your death was imminent. I really wish that John Brandrick had read my book or heard me speak!

A report from Reuters last week described how Mr. Brandrick, a 62 year-old man from the UK, reacted to the diagnosis that he had pancreatic cancer and would probably die within a year. It seems that he decided to quit his job, stop paying his mortgage, sell or give away nearly all of his possessions and spend all of his money on vacations and meals.

(I’m sure you can guess where this is going!)

Yes, just as Mr. Brandrick was coming to the end of his money, the doctors revised their diagnosis. He didn’t have pancreatic cancer, but merely an inflammation of the pancreas that was not life-threatening.

Oops!

So let’s all learn a lesson from Mr. Brandrick’s experience.

Here’s what I want you to do:

- Ask yourself what YOU would do if you were told that you had a year left to live? Write out your answers.

- Look at the list of things that you wrote down. Now cross out all of the things that you are already doing.

- Now look carefully at the remaining items - the “new” things you would begin to do, or the changes that you would make in your life. Ask yourself why you aren’t doing them now. Are they not important enough?

- Finally, I want you to realize that very few people ever have the luxury of a one-year warning. Have another look at your list and circle any items that you REALLY want to be able to accomplish before leaving this earth.

- You know what to do next!

ENJOY NOW!

~~~

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Welcome to The Power of Mortality™ Blog!

2007-05-14T07:59:00.000-04:00

Greetings!

For the past four years I have been writing a free, weekly e-mail newsletter called “Mindful Moment”. (You can read back-issues of it here.)

It evolved from something that I sent out to a small group via my personal e-mail, to a larger list that I used an online service to manage, and finally to a list that has subscribers in 29 different countries for which I use special mailing list software on my server. Along the way, I began to do a Podcast version of Mindful Moment. (After all, as a professional speaker, it only made sense to use my voice as a medium for my message!)

And now it is time for the next evolution: the blog version.

I plan to publish my weekly Mindful Moment message using this blog. (I’m still undecided as to whether to continue with the e-mail version. Comments? Suggestions?) I also plan to use this blog to post other interesting and relevant thoughts, information, links and recommendations that I may have.

But most importantly, I am looking for input and feedback from YOU! I am hoping to build a community where those who find value in the principles of The Power of Mortality™ can come together and share with one another.

Welcome!