Holly

No finer place, for sure

2008-09-15T18:27:00.002-05:00

I'm moving downtown! Found a sweet new place in the warehouse district. Walking distance to everything awesome- about 100 yards (I'm totally making this measurement up) from the new twins stadium. It's pretty flippin awesome. I'm pumped! :)

Everything's waiting for you!

Quote of the day:

2008-09-10T21:50:00.004-05:00

"That's right honey, you stick to your principles. Then in 30 years you can tell all your cats about how you won a basketball game."

you could help it wouldn't be that hard

2008-09-10T09:05:00.003-05:00

I think this is where I'm going to live next. I always wanted to be part of the Swiss Family Robinson.

maybe we could put like a little tiny fridge in there somewhere...

2008-09-09T15:29:00.001-05:00

the problem with having the near-perfect apartment, is that eventually when you have to leave, nothing is as good.

Apartment hunting is pure-evilness.

Friends to know and ways to grow

2008-09-08T14:13:00.002-05:00

On book ettiquette:

I love my book collection. Sadly much of it has scattered the globe, as large amounts of books are not very travel friendly...

I love to share the joy that I find in reading books by lending them to friends and family. However, I am not responsible (or anal) enough to keep track of who I lend what to. And frankly, it really gets my goat when people don't return books. Lately I've been finding myself thinking of a random book and realizing that yes, I did own that at one point, but now I have no idea where it is. Frustration...

I'm trying to find some of those stickers that say 'ex libris' or 'from the library of' but they are all made for kids or ugly. If anyone ever wants to buy me a very nice and thoughtful gift- those stickers, pretty and personalized, would be it. Ha ha ha

Don't worry- I fully realize the embarrassing extent of my nerdiness right now

Doritos, Diet Coke & Disney

2008-09-06T16:14:00.000-05:00

There is no better sure-fire mood fixer :)

More wanderlust

2008-09-03T14:00:00.003-05:00

Mike's post is beautiful- and spot on. Makes me yearn for the open road again...

I need to find a happy medium between my wanderlust and my desire for stability. I think usually whatever I feel I am lacking more at the moment feels the most appealing. I want an adventure full of mishaps and ridiculous stories. While I am all for planning in most parts of life, when I hit the open road for an adventure, I like to see where it will take me without direction or agenda. Perhaps that’s why I was born without an internal compass? ;) I am guided by another kind of force.

Perhaps I often feel like my bigger adventures have been slightly lacking because I wasn't able to share most of them with someone close to me. Things always mean more this way. This is why I am particularly excited about Kili this winter with my one and only Marianne!

you can't help yourself from falling

2008-09-03T09:47:00.001-05:00

I need to remember to keep my eye on this. Sounds like an amazing adventure! Hollys are always cool... ;)

a tiger in a cage can never see the sun

2008-08-29T09:51:00.005-05:00

take me for what I am
who I was meant to be
and if you give a damn
take me baby, or leave me

Is this sticking to your guns or making excuses for acting like a fool?

p.s. I'm on another Rent kick. I finally bought the cd set and have been jamming out like crazy on my drives to and from work. People probably think I'm insane. This diva needs her stage, baby lets have fun! Apparently my stage is the drivers seat of a volvo s40. My audience, the people who drive near me, that hopefully can't hear. I wouldn't have it any other way. :)

before it's too late

2008-08-28T09:17:00.004-05:00

And freedom, oh freedom well, that's just some people talkin'
Your prison is walking through this world all alone

Well, I guess it's back to the drawing board. Time to regroup and focus on me, like I intended to do a while ago. I have so much stuff to sort out- and it's just too hard with distractions. Especially wonderful distractions that make you happy and feel good.

I know that what I'm doing is the right thing. I KNOW that. But, of course, I still find myself riddled with doubt. If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad. If it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so sad? Sorry to be on lyrical overload at the moment- but that's just how my mind works.

So here's what I'm thinking. This is what I need to do- spend at least a year completely solo. No dating, no distractions, learning to stand on my own two feet and figure out my path in life. I'm so focused and driven in every aspect of my life, except for this one. How does that make any sense? When I picture myself down the road, who I'm with is never a part of the vision. Why is that? Well, I know it probably means that I really am a product of my parents- both incredibly driven and goal-oritented people who have accomplished amazing things- but for both of them it seems that the person they spend their life with (or portions of their life, as the case may be) never really factored into that goal-oriented mentality. In that area they just went with the flow, if it worked, it worked. I'm being a little unfair and over-simplifying, I guess. But being raised primarily without ever having witnessed a healthy and lasting relationship and being influenced primarily by dominant-driven women who put themselves first and fight conventional bs has left it's mark I guess.

But I digress. I'm not making much sense I probably realize- and I will not edit this before I publish it, so deal. :)

A few months late- but this will be the start of my quarter-life crisis. 25- the year of Holly. The year that I concentrate on me and only me and make the best choices for myself. Where I don't have to worry about anyone else's feelings or agenda. I'm going to straighten out my life, enjoy living alone, spend loads of time with friends and family (but only those that deserve it!), stop worrying about my past and learn to enjoy the present for what it is, but work towards the future that I want in every single way. This year I will find a new and more permanent residence, achieve two more of my life goals- climbing mount kilimanjaro (discussed it with MA last night and am super pumped!) and completing a triathalon (matt and I will cheer each other on across state lines). I will continue my aggressive career path- which I am loving right now- couldn't be better. I will get involved with a local church (found one on tuesday that I want to try) and non-profit organization (have a meeting with someone the week after next).

I'm going to try to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks, and worrying about each decision that could change my life. Do you think you ever run out of chances to start over? Why am I always afraid that this could have been it, then I went and screwed it up and now I am doomed. I always say that things have a way of working themselves out for the best. Now I just need to learn to believe it in this particular area of my life.

Ok- I'm done rambling.

It's been a pretty rough week. A chart-topper. I can not wait for a road-trip, a girls weekend, and a wedding.

And I may or may not need to make myself feel better by buying new shoes. Wearing my relatively new satin coral-colored ones today certainly helped! ;)

me llamo el desaparecido

2008-08-26T10:40:00.003-05:00

So I have this desk calendar from one of the departments at my previous company- each month it shows some festival in a different city around the world with facts and information about it- love it. August’s city is Dubai. I had to turn it back to July (Sydney) because it made me angry looking at it. I can’t wait for September (Munich). :)

I also like to peek through people.com every once in a while- I like the 'hit or miss' voting on people's outfits. What could possibly be better than anonymously passing judgement on strangers? Apparently trump threw a Trump Towers Dubai (or something like that) celebration in LA a few days ago. I had to fight back the gag reflex when I saw what event the outfits were from and that all these horribly naïve people were coming out to celebrate this awful city thinking it’s all wonderful and exotic…

I might still have a little pent up resentment…

One way or another

2008-08-21T16:24:00.004-05:00

On my way up to the cabin the other day I stopped and visited the restaurant that I worked at all through college. A few people I know still work there- which was fun. While chatting with one friend that I hadn't seen in years I was informed of another random web search that brings up my name. Apparently while researching a job at the Girl Scouts this friend of mine stumbled across a certain picture from a few halloweens ago that I posted on my blog. Oh the silliness! I have since changed my blog settings so they don't come up in search engines, but it's pretty amusing that I apparently have a way of popping into people's lives when they least expect it. :)

before you know it you're frozen

2008-08-21T09:40:00.002-05:00

I think I'm still re-adjusting to life in the US. It's so fast-paced. I feel like I'm always running at a mile a minute, have 10 things on my mind and 25 on my plate at any given moment, and am never quite caught up. I guess I didn't realize while I was away just how much more relaxed life was. Mind you, I was constantly bored stiff and miserable- ha ha ha. No, this fast-paced lifestyle definitely suits me better.

Unfortunately I now have another extremely sucky task added to my plate that I didn't think I'd have to deal with for a while: apartment hunting. The new and fabulous place that I moved into in may is a privately owned condo and apparently the landlord decided that it was a great idea to stop paying the bills. So it's being forclosed on. Boo. Back to the drawing board. Unfortuntely I haven't been able to find anything comparable with the price, updates and location. I have to compromise on one of them- I hate compromise.

I'll probably end up moving slightly away from the area that I love so much. I'd still like to have it be a place where I can walk to the grocery store, or happy hour, etc. But we'll see what I come up with. It might be nice to live in a complex as well- then I'd have a gym, parking, all that fun stuff and most likely not have to worry about pesky little things like foreclosure. :)

So if anyone knows of any sweet apartments in the Minneapolis uptown/downtown area- let me know ;)

Free falling

2008-08-12T10:08:00.004-05:00

Finally, after years and years trying to find someone to go with and trying to find time/money to go- I went skydiving on Sunday!

I was so lackadasical in the days leading up to it that I was expecting to freak out a little when we finally went up in the plane- or at least when we were standing in the doorway. You know how you always see people on tv or in movies that are hanging onto the side of the plane and screaming? I thought for sure that would be me. :) But nope. I was not nervous at all- it was an absolute blast!

May have to go again soon... :)

2008-08-01T15:50:00.004-05:00

So this is my 10th day of the cleanse (over 1/3 of the way there- woohoo!). Things are going really well- I can already feel the difference. So far I've learned that I'm awful at taking pills and that blue-green algae supplements smell funny. But I also determined today that I no longer miss most of the things that I can't eat or drink. I miss the activities that are associated with them. Happy hours after work, being able to stop and have dinner when I'm out window shopping with a friend. I have no problem going out and not drinking- but when it's a two person happy hour, that usually makes the other person feel weird. I'm also spending a LOT of time cooking- which is good, and usually fun. But man, it takes a LOT of time.

But for the most part I haven't really felt too deprived yet. The biggest test will come tomorrow, with a good friend's all-day bachelorette party. Mmmm... champagne.... Maybe I can pretend with sparkling water? :(

Well I saved my pennies and I saved my dimes

2008-08-01T10:44:00.002-05:00

Come Sunday, I will be the proud owner of a brand new (to me) car!

This is the first car that I have totally choosen all by myself, and I am in love with it. It's very me.

I thought I wasn't going to be able to get it at first, because the dealer wouldn't budge on the price- but no one tells Holly no! ;) I went around him and got it anyway- for the price I wanted. Love, love, love!

But I won't go-o-o

2008-07-29T09:16:00.003-05:00

Consistency.

Definitely not something I've had in a while. Not something I've ever really needed.
But when you've been living out of suitcases for years and you finally get to a point where you say 'Hey, wouldn't it be nice to be able to hang a couple pictures on the wall for a while?'- and then you work hard to be able to make that happen- and it does- then you find out that just as you're starting to climb the ladder of normalcy, someone cuts a few rungs from under you again.

Blast.

Maybe normalcy was never really my thing anyway.

let the rain fall down, I'm coming clean

2008-07-28T08:28:00.004-05:00

Never one to be without an impending personal goal, I've started a 28 day cleansing program. I've heard from friends who have had success on programs like this, and decided it was time to try one for myself. I'm sick of being unhealthy, enjoy and challenge and like to learn new things about myself, so I was excited to give this a shot.

Turns out I was in for a bit more than I bargined for. Not only is the program vegan (no problems there) but you can have no processed foods whatsoever, no sugar, no caffiene, no booze(!), nothing containing an ingredients you can't pronounce. I am normally a pretty healthy eater to begin with, mostly organic foods, mostly vegan diet, etc- but even most of the things in my cupboards will be obsolete for the next month. The book that I bought also came with a bunch of recipies and tips, etc. So I am actually having fun cooking. And while I normally hate cooking for one, it is actually handy because one meal usually lasts me about 3 days of lunches and dinners. So it probably is really a time saver in the end.

So now I am on my 6th day of the cleanse. I think (hope!) that I am over the initial hump. The first few days without coffee were hard. I weaned myself off at the beginning of the year and unfortunately let myself get sucked back in when I started this new job. It doesn't help that Target now carries dunkin donuts brand coffee grounds!

I thought for sure I would slip up this weekend when my dad was visiting. I took him to the Uptown bar and grill for lunch and was starting to panic when I was looking through the menu. What in the world can you order at ANY restaurant, let alone a place like this, that will fit in the program?! Turns out I underestimated that place once again. One of their signature dishes are veggie tacos so I ordered that and left the shells, eating the veggies that were inside it with salsa. Now I guess if you're going to be picky, I don't actually know if the ingeredients they use in their salsa are all cleanse-friendly, but I thought I did pretty well!

Anyway- wish me luck, and don't hate me if I turn down happy hour invites, or more likely, come anyway and make you drink alone, for the next month. :)

On another note- I am deep in the throws of car shopping. Thought I'd be celebrating today with a lovely and shiny new (to me) car- but negotiations didn't go as well as anticipated- so it's time for plan B. Kind of disappointing, but I'm hoping the new direction will work out better in the end anyway.

You just turn your pretty head and walk away

2008-07-23T11:31:00.005-05:00

Seems to me...

...that if you have to ban comments you're probably saying some stuff you know you'll get razzed for. If you have something that you feel needs to be said you should at least have enough guts to be able to defend it.

Meet you halfway... got nothing to say...

Things my colleagues learned about me last night:

2008-07-17T10:19:00.002-05:00

a) While I talk a good game, I am not so good at Big Buck Hunter
b) I am a psuedo (bible camp taught) pool shark

Let's go somewhere they might discover us

2008-07-15T08:06:00.004-05:00

I wonder at what point, if ever, we ever feel like we know what we are doing in life? Is it always going to be a series of educated (sometimes blind) guesses at what is really the best way forward? Or is there some magical point in the impending future where I will say, 'Yep, now I've really got it figured out'?

With an ever so slight side-step in topic, I am simply in love with my new job. I've been here a little over a month so far, and while I'm obviously still in the honeymoon stage I think this is somewhere I could see myself for a long haul. I have complete autonomy in the project that I am working on and a lot of room to flex my creative muscles and make it my own, which I love.

However, I wonder if anyone realizes that I have absoutely no idea what I'm doing?

You'd think after the 12 million interviews (ok, 5) I had for this position that they'd have a decent grasp of my capabilities, so why do I still feel like I'm in over my head every once in a while? It's a fleeting feeling mostly... coming in waves at times like reviewing my job spec and offer letter initially, then setting my performance goals and project timeline, and now starting the program development and getting pulled into other projects before I even have a grasp on this one. I will say that so far I have managed to swim (not sink)- and feel my way along with great results. One month (to the day) from my start date I presented my inital assessment findings to a room full of key stakeholders- and I think it went well, despite the crickets that I heard chirping when I asked for feedback. But in this arena sometimes no news is good news, and you can bet I would have heard a lot if they thought I was heading in the wrong direction.

Off to LA tomorrow for the last journey of the assessment phase. Lance is coming out on Thursday and I'm excited for a fabulous adventure. Then Friday we'll meet up with Dawn to see her place, and celebrate her birthday and partake in general merriment... and hopefully get a tan. ;) As much as I've been enjoying my summer to the fullest, my paleness (or rather jaundice for those of us of yellow hue) is shameful.

Other than that, only other plans for the next couple weeks are reconnecting with some friends and family that life has been too crazy for lately, figuring out a possible mother/daughter European adventure for sometime this fall and starting my Kilimanjaro training plan in earnest- that'll give me a good 6 months of training- and I need it!

Runnin on- runnin into the sun but I'm runnin behind

2008-07-06T21:34:00.003-05:00

I feel like I've been running on empty for the last few weeks, so it was really nice to take it back a notch or two this weekend and relax a little. Thursday night I went to the Taste of MN for the REO Speedwagon concert. I realized that I may be the only person under 40 who likes them, but I'm alright with that. You can't beat a good power ballad. Got to enjoy many things that I have missed for ages- beautiful summer nights, free concerts, ferris wheel rides, root beer floats, and fireworks!

Friday morning we headed down to the St. Croix river to camp on one of the islands- spent all day basking in the sunshine, playing frisbee and oddly enough, having cheez wiz fights (not recommended). As evening set in, we all hopped aboard a couple boats and headed up to stillwater for the most amazing fireworks display I have ever seen. Back at the island, we all hung out, grilled, sang songs around the campfire and played electronic catch-phrase. :)

Headed home friday morning with about 2 hours of dreadful sleep under our belts, spent a lazy afternoon sleeping and then went for my very first drive-in movie! It was amazing. Apparently I've been missing out.

All in all it was an amazing weekend! Now that I'm psuedo-rested, it's back to the grindstone! Off to Wichita tomorrow for my 3rd assessment trip. Whoop whoop! ;)

Speaking words of wisdom

2008-06-11T20:36:00.002-05:00

It's a hard lesson to learn when you finally realize that you've made a poor investment and it's simply time to cut your losses.
That is never an easy decision to make.
I wish everyone else would realize that and just 'let it be'.

I'm gonna show 'em what a little girl's made of, gunpowder and lead

2008-05-28T22:41:00.004-05:00

Ok, here it is. The obligatory birthday reflective post. In just over an hour I will be 25. A quarter of my life gone... but the good part is just beginning I'd wager. It's not like it's going to be hard to beat 24.

For the first time in a while I feel like I am in a really good place. I'm back 'home', relatively close to a large amount of friends and family, living in a sweet apartment that's all mine o' mine, just accepted an amazing job offer for a killer new position that will be an incredible opportunity and challenge, my life is full of amazing people... all in all, pretty freaking awesome.

25 does freak me out a little. I know it shouldn't. Sometimes I think I should have accomplished more by this age. Although the things that I originally thought I'd have under my belt at 25, marriage, babies, etc... I SO do not want yet. But I think I have also accomplished things that a lot of other 20 somethings can't claim. My carefree optimism (read: naivety) has allowed me to have a lot of random adventures and flights of fancy. I've taken a lot of risks, some worked out, some didn't, but I wouldn't change any of them.

In this 25th year of my life I'm going to be selfish and carefree and fabulous. I'm going to rock my career, spend all my free time with quality people, and fill my closet with sexy shoes. I'm going to quit giving a crap what other people think and just do what makes me smile. I'm going to take more risks and adventures and push myself to my limits. And I'm going to continue to do my best to make the world a brighter place each and every day.

To kick this, the most amazing year of my life thus far, off with a bang, I am going to happy hour tomorrow evening with some of my favorite people on a beautiful and sunny rooftop overlooking the city. Friday is pedicures and preparation, then Saturday is my first 5k and then the birthday bash of the century! A fetish-themed costume party to celebrate losing some of my more ridiculous inhibitions. :)

Thanks in advance to those who are making the time to celebrate this milestone with Amy and me. It's going to be a night, and a year, to remember!

2008-05-24T03:28:00.004-05:00

Just returned from a fun night out with my HLP. Uncharacteristically, I actually had food in my apartment. Jacks pizzas that we bought specifically for my party next weekend. We cooked one. Ok, I attempted to cook one. I got impatient and forced Amy to eat an undercooked, gooey pepperoni and mushroom pizza. Sitting in my bed, I dropped the end of my piece, spilling it on my leg. Tried to lick it off... and fell off the bed. Dang it. I'm so uncool.
I just hope my neighbors who think I'm loud and pound on the ceiling when I walk around the house didn't hear me... and/or weren't too upset, cause it was loud... like a major thud. I just want to be friends... is that is that so much to ask?!