Free Range Gnomes

Hat Envy

2009-12-06T10:45:00.001-05:00

Ah, freezing snow makes truly glamming Santa hat with me, think you?

Hmmm, ye-es, but once melting, it likely flop over again... but mine...

Regarding puffy eleganting of symmetry, truly I musing right now my hat quite more bigger of our two...

Well, right now...is tricky, as sun moves to us I thinking you lose superior hatting.

Fawlty Hat

2009-12-05T13:09:00.001-05:00

How to be Christmas Gnome when my hat refuse to cooperate! Much encouragement needed for it to stand tall.

Yes, truly my hat raise tall and pointy!

Fmmmf! I try but my hat habit to fall over to side. Arrggh!

Yes, MY hat much the stronger!

Get your Gnomes out of the Gutter

2009-11-29T10:39:00.001-05:00

Hmmm, some few leafs cloggiing gutters...much twigs and dirt...

Very slopey steep up here, I feeling gravity slidings...

And what be these smallish clumps?

Ahem....seemingly raccoons using roof for...

Ewwwww...!

We best wait for help....

Skeleton Standoff

2009-11-17T14:47:00.005-05:00

выйти! Shoo! уйти! Haunting time long gone! Away you brittle bundle of bones! Poof! You disappear now!

We all seriousness! You, скелет in tree! We come and get you! Gno hiding from us...we gnot kidding!

You femurs not toooo scary big!

Hmm, I afraid of height! Mayhap I am stuck!

Liquid Gnomes

2009-11-14T12:57:00.003-05:00

We dissed on FaceBook for "back-seat yardworking"!

Regard you our diligence, slavering away in such pouring rain...

Up on slippery ladder - we so small and mere - to reach treetops for snippings and shrubbings...

Robes leaking cats and dogs... soaking in eyes and noses...

We so Gnonappreciated...

Garden Gnomes

2009-11-13T14:12:00.003-05:00

we make marveling effort on branches and shrubbings! Many piles of debris!

Yes, look you busy as we pose for photo of efforts and accomplishings!

15 barrels of branches and weeding! We make marathon yard cleanup!

Mayhap we now ask for ice scream and popcorn?

Tied in Gnots

2009-11-02T20:58:00.000-05:00

Aggh, we entangled with stringed Jacking Lantern and scary skulls! They not ridding of us, we tied up!

Already time for next holiday lightings and decoratings but we ensnared with binding lights!

Hostages to Halloween!

DejaVu all over again

2009-11-01T11:19:00.002-05:00

Wondrous fortune to set clocks back day after Halloween! We re-experience yesterday once more...

Vladimir, I think we do not reset clocks full day, only full hour.

...two Halloweens, twice the candies...truly 2009 maGNificent year...should we re-dress?

Vladimir, listen! Sad to disappoint, but 365 days until we Halloween again.

Magic Trix

2009-10-09T17:53:00.001-05:00

Mayhap we do some entertainment for great sucking up for Hallowing permissions to Trick & Treat?
Yes, a song... a dance? I read poetry?
No, much better -- a Magical Show! Ah, I know amazing trick... Greta, lie down.. just here...

Oktober!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-04T07:52:00.001-05:00

uh oh...Oktober arrive... we must settle Strike!
Ah yes, best behaviour for Oktober!
Release signs and pickets!
Truly we lucky for home and family! Yes, we much appreciating good fortune!
Still some few weeks to resurrect good graces and charms...
Yes, yes, we throw off all attitudes today. Mayhap some yard clean-up for startings?

S-T-R-I-K-E!

2009-10-01T10:06:00.002-05:00

We demand rights!
And conditions!
And rights to conditions!
We see movie Gnorma Rae...
TV, popcorns, ice screams!
Manicures, Massage!
Power Tools!

Help! Help!

2009-09-28T13:53:00.001-05:00

Oh the indiGNity!
We captured and taken as slavery!
Like common criminals!
Beasts of burden!
Oh! Oh! Resist! Resist!
Quick, make break for Pilates class... we run oppositely and gnot be taken down...

Intervention

2009-09-27T08:36:00.001-05:00

Uh oh! We soon evicting from Suburban Spa, dragging home against our will! Oh, farewell to Reiki, Rose Petals, and Relaxation, back to daily grind -- work, work, work....

But mayhap one last Massage before check out....

MetroGnomes

2009-09-25T21:17:00.001-05:00

Truly Suburbanning is like Spa...ahhh.
Such relaxation and pampering we have here! Delighting in such decadence... splash splish!
Mmm, massage I think? Or Yoga?

Mayhap I have manicure....

We so vacationing in Suburbies...

Spoiled Rotten

2009-09-24T10:18:00.009-05:00

Aaaahh! This the life! We Suburban Gnomes now!
We Guests of Honour and Appreciating! Toasty and dry indoors with TV and many delightful popcorns and ice screaming!
Truly we become celebrities of Lexington ...declining to return home where we are not provided popcorns or TVs...
Hmm, mayhap I gneed such hat as intrepid archaeologist Jones...

The Bright Side of the Moon

2009-09-12T21:10:00.005-05:00

Sparkly lining to cloud of Mission Delay... we remain earthbound to offer birthday whishes to Reignome who collect gnine years this 13 day of Gninth month -- hmm, mayhap 13th day would have been unlucky for travel anyway...
We sending joyous greetings and calcium to strengthify growing skeletal structures of true FOG (friend of gnomes).
Gnock Gnock...
С днем рождения!!!!

Houston we have a Problem

2009-09-11T20:36:00.005-05:00

Delay of Moon Mission Accomplished!
Such sorrows not to launching voyage of giant step for Gnomekind but truly, star astrognaut gneeding much recovery from trauma of dastardly disc drama.
Many thank yous to fans for all petitioning GNASA... Mission Control waiting patiently for my speeding recovery.

Paper Moon

2009-09-09T07:15:00.006-05:00

Many fans sign petition to delay moon mission for me.
I file papers with GNASA for them to know such popularity signifies public opinions and strength of support for Vladimir the Valiant to be First Gnome on Moon.
Truly they gnote my significances.
A thousand curses dastardly discs disrupt my destiny.

On the Disabled List

2009-09-05T16:01:00.002-05:00

Moon mission approaches and still I disable myself!
What to do! What to do!
Truly it is destiny for me to be first Gnome on Moon... there cannot be understudy for such great footprint!

Please sign petition to Powers Who Be for delay of launch until necking problem subdues.

G6-G7

2009-08-25T15:19:00.005-05:00

ach, I still tipping Greta. Great pains in neck and shoulder... see my arm scrunches up to cramping and shoulder goes all hunchy!? I walk much like Quasimodo... though, true, he memorably famous...

Yes, Vladimir, of course you hunchy.... dastardly G6-G7 disc herniation makes painful dramas with nerve roots, we learn this takes much recovering.

Today...Today...Today!

2009-07-23T06:36:00.005-05:00

Happy Happy Birthday to we!

111 very lucky number to be! Like jackpot!

We make much celebrations, with responsibility and dignity of course.

Fans to come and pay respects, we await reception lines.

Oh, what to do about traffic of vehicles? Mayhap we gneed valet parking?

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow...

2009-07-22T14:54:00.006-05:00

...we creep in this pretty place...

Ahem...excusing, but Macbeth say petty pace...

...I prefer pretty place...but tomorrow is big massive day for we turning 111!

Lucky number year! We grow up so fast...

Step away from the coffee cup

2009-05-22T10:37:00.007-05:00

Ahhhh! Truly wonderful aroma, this кофе! Quite strong-ish scent, somewhat mischievous, yet grounding.

Agh, we be ground if you do not resist! Release mug! We warned from caffeines!

Ahh, but just one small sip hurts nothing... mffff, it compels to inhale, taste, experience the caffeines, to yield to...

Остановитесь!! Step away from coffee cup!

Smelling the Coffee

2009-05-16T18:38:00.005-05:00

Still thinking we try some кофе...much stimulation and energizing for us as perhaps we have springy fevers.

Mmmm, Vladimir, mayhap too much energizing you gnot so good ...coffee powerful stimulant.

Verily, I become even more charismatically dynamite!

But we are refused coffees...say adrenaline seriously whelming!

Neverminding, I keep try. кофе look quite fun!

GNASA

2009-04-16T13:06:00.006-05:00

Ah we arriving, ready for work!

Mayhap we announce ourselves to security? Regard "Plant Security" sign...

Plant security? All shrubberies looking secure to me! Come, we enter hallowed ground of GNASA... and prepare to commence training program for Astrognauts!