tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-88330962009-06-30T21:54:13.757-04:00Bitter rantings by a sometimes-analytical fanboy who loves the Washington Nationals, even though you probably can't tell 3/4 of the time.Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.comBlogger2200125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-72117397897776404752009-04-27T22:37:00.002-04:002009-04-27T22:40:38.463-04:00

My wife watched the last two innings of this one with me, perhaps the first time she's actively watched a game with me in, like, three years.Her thoughts:"Hanrahan looks scared.""Manny looks really stupid.""Manny looks like he has no clue how to change anything."etc.I'm fine with the loss. I'm at the point where the losing is fun again. I didn't sit there cursing, so much as laughing at the

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-28708817098597466412009-04-19T18:53:00.001-04:002009-04-19T18:54:54.369-04:00

I love that work he did for the Pirates in 2002.

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-68441701031118068962009-04-12T14:32:00.000-04:002009-04-12T14:33:16.143-04:00

EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!!!!

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-64026855048170828282009-03-01T10:28:00.001-05:002009-03-01T10:29:40.674-05:00

It's always sad to see a man lose his job....BWAHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAA!!!! Who am I kidding?

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-58635266523182037892009-02-11T09:26:00.004-05:002009-02-11T15:03:25.920-05:00

Since a few of you still check in here, there's a new StanSpeak up. You can find all my stories, good and bad, here. ::fireworks.jpg::

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-83765143607341298202009-01-27T12:26:00.000-05:002009-01-27T12:27:04.415-05:00

FUCK!!!!!!!!!"MASN has named Rob Dibble as the new color commentator for the Washington Nationals. He will join play-by-play man Bob Carpenter in the booth beginning with the 2009 season under a multi-year contract with MASN."

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-19968004780887940372009-01-26T09:00:00.003-05:002009-01-26T13:03:23.135-05:00

To the tens of tens of you who still visit here daily*, I'm back. Sort of.* and aren't pornhounds disappointed in where google led them astrayFirst, buy this book! I again contributed to the Hardball Times Season Preview, chipping in a bunch of words about last year's team and players. It's a terrific way to kill off whatever buzz, excitement and hope you're feeling after yesterday's NatsFest!

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-50059464837501714652008-08-26T11:22:00.002-04:002008-08-26T11:26:57.711-04:00

No, I'm not coming back. Save the emails.Go here instead.Every year, Tango does an fan survey to evaluate defense. He gets as much input from as many fans as possible and compiles them into a scouting report and a ranking system. I strongly urge you to fill out the form, doing as many players as you feel capable of evaluating. I had more about this a year or so ago to help give you an idea on

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-2922415738538751802008-07-13T17:14:00.002-04:002008-07-13T17:18:06.702-04:00

Please sell the team you cheap fuck. (Hey, Stan! I didn't call him a cheap bastard like you said we would!) Go back to your real estate business, douchebag. I hope someone slips on the tiles at Dulles and sues your shitbag cheapass family for a couple of million -- just a tiny fraction of the billions you comfort yourself with each and every night.

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-15382120925107054822008-05-06T23:23:00.001-04:002008-05-06T23:25:28.113-04:00

It's Time.Way back in October 2004, I started writing the blog, not really knowing what to expect, and certainly not expecting that it would get to be as big (relatively speaking) as it is, nor would it have given me some of the opportunities it has.I started for two simple reasons.First, I wanted an outlet for my writing. My day job has me doing lots of godawful writing. Heretofores. Whereases.

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com150tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-69535115021653406802008-05-02T09:09:00.002-04:002008-05-02T09:18:47.190-04:00

For fark's sake, Boz. Get your head out of your ass!First, when is this guy going to stop writing about the goddamn stadium? We get it. We've seen it. We've read the same farkin' column for the last fourteen weeks.But here he is, swallowing the Stan Kasten Kool Aid. Kasten's at the funnel, pouring gallon after gallon of Purplesaurus Rex, while the tube is shoved so far down Boz' gullet that

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-39899155324701490132008-05-01T23:01:00.003-04:002008-05-02T09:00:51.240-04:00

Nats Enquirer points to the good news! On his big day with his bobblehead (though with Pittsburgh in town, it could pass for a Jerome Bettis one), Dmitri has found the miracle cure for that aching back: a masseuse!"I was stunned," Bowden said. "All of a sudden, he has instant relief. She found the spot.... and his hips went through it."What a happy ending!Now he's on to Viera to start swinging

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-54994405902975206572008-04-30T22:42:00.002-04:002008-04-30T23:06:50.652-04:00

So Chad Cordero's out. It's an acute tear of the latissimus dorsi muscle.What's that mean? His shoulder hurts. The lat is a big muscle that covers a good chunk of your back and side. Here's a handy picture, and you can pretty easily see why a tear there would make a pitcher cry. If you remember last night, when the trainer came out, that's right about where Chad pointed: the area under the

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-67141133738772681572008-04-28T13:44:00.002-04:002008-04-28T13:46:37.330-04:00

I'd make a gravitational force joke, but that's too easy.I do believe they miss Dmitri Young. I believe he could provide an occasional spark if given a chance to start in left field. In all my years in Washington, Young is the only player who makes a difference just by his presence alone.You might've missed it, but Dmitri did play some left in spring training. Here's a picture of him ranging

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-59048250776317567742008-04-28T09:33:00.003-04:002008-04-28T10:52:06.044-04:00

All things considered, it was a pretty good week. Four and three is always a good week, I suppose. You do that every week, and you've got ninety or so wins. For a team that was taking on water like the inside of Screech's costume on an August afternoon, 4-3 is terrific. For a team that faced John Smoltz, Tim Hudson, Carlos Zambrano, Johan and Santana -- not to mention Ryan Dempster, Ollie

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-74461690378631802302008-04-25T22:36:00.002-04:002008-04-25T22:42:09.179-04:00

If you and your buddy were making picks of players to hit a walk-off, alternating players, where would Wil Nieves get picked? Last? Maybe just a pick ahead of the other Wee Willie, Harris? Man! Did you see that swing?! Up and away junk, and he swung high, driving the ball to right, a sorta excuse me swing that kept going and going and going and GONE! (As Lenny Harris would undoubtedly say as

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-77573331878606404682008-04-25T11:57:00.002-04:002008-04-25T12:04:25.488-04:00

I traded questions with Byron from Goat Riders of the Apocalypse, who's already relishing the prospect of a sweep. (Apparently he's seen Matt Chico pitch!)My answers to his questions are at that link up there ^^^His answers to my questions are down here vvvvThe Nationals are cursed with a terrible TV play-by-play guy. What I've heard of Len Kasper, I've loved. But familiarity usually breeds

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-22651424005729962152008-04-25T08:25:00.002-04:002008-04-25T08:29:27.813-04:00

The FIRE LENNY!!!! Chorus got a reprieve while they were running the Hudson/Smoltz/Santana gauntlet. No fair blaming him for something the rest of the league can't usually do against them.But they certainly looked like a new team out there yesterday. I didn't see those lazy opposite-field swings. And the six walks shows they were grinding out ABs. Perez threw 100 pitches in 5+ innings,

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-3053205558299578212008-04-24T21:21:00.000-04:002008-04-24T21:22:01.714-04:00

In the words of the noted philosopher Joey Eischen, "Suck on it and like it!"

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-88545525977219578042008-04-24T10:35:00.002-04:002008-04-24T10:56:36.926-04:00

1) Nice crowd there last night. Though the place was dead. Not sure if it's the lousy team, the segregated seats or what, but the place really hasn't had much atmosphere in any of the games I've been to this year. At least the Mets fans were there to spice it up a bit.2) The lines for ticket-buyers were long, and plenty of people reported problems waiting half-an-hour in line. That's silly.

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com62tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-26198095401736192462008-04-23T23:24:00.002-04:002008-04-23T23:33:30.772-04:00

Didja see them? They're Byooo-T-Full! And the PlayStation? Did you know we have one? You can build your own Screech even! C'mon up to the Red Porch! What's that? No, don't look over there towards the green grass! Come over here! Did you see Ben's chili bowl! No, don't look towards the mound! I implore you! See! We've got pretzels! They're shaped like our logo! A buck goes towards

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-1382109933586845932008-04-23T08:50:00.004-04:002008-04-23T17:25:01.941-04:00

I heard this quote coming in, and Barry helpfully transcribes it:[W]e want to win every single night," Manager Manny Acta said. "But with the plan we have here, and what we're trying to accomplish here, an outing by this young man like that is worth three or four of those losses.Just when I was starting to feel sympathy for Manny's stomach lining...Related news, Felipe has won his second base job

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-68566955504764340512008-04-22T22:21:00.002-04:002008-04-22T22:30:33.640-04:00

What's it called when the Nats finish a game with more runs than the other team again? There's a word for it, probably a stat, even... anyone?Baseball's a great game sometimes.Nats were sending up a rookie against a should-be Hall-of-Famer (he's really one of my favorite pitchers to watch). The Nats were starting the all slap-hitting lineup with FLop, Guzman, Wee Willie Harris, and Wil Nieves.

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-36573489488000218672008-04-21T21:35:00.002-04:002008-04-21T21:37:55.313-04:00

Oh fercrissake "[The hitting] hasn't picked up like I thought it would pick up," [pathetically over-matched hitting coach Lenny] Harris said. "It is a mystery to me. The whole offensive team went from doing well to searching for a base hit. I guess that is a part of baseball. You live and you learn."It could be personal reasons and could be something [that made them angry]. I try to talk to each

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8833096.post-52142102526950508472008-04-21T20:43:00.003-04:002008-12-12T23:38:28.549-05:00

Feel free to order a set of these for your next home game in the Capitol Punishment Web Store. I find they look especially nice in the $47 Red Porch seats.They really do come up with new and interesting ways to suck, don't they?Losing is one thing. Losing in such embarrassing fashion is something else. If Bowden had a soul, I'm sure he'd have a hard time sleeping. Instead, I'm sure he's too

Chris Needhamhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10455692848328638937noreply@blogger.com23