~Keeping It Real~

I Will Not Complain

2009-07-11T12:54:00.007-06:00

I have some new friends. They are some precious, precious children and their families’ who live in Panama.

I am so lucky and blessed to have met them for they have shown me true joy. They have shown me how rich and how much I truly have.

The next time people drop by or come to my house – I will try to remember not to complain that it’s not picked up. For I will remember my new friends in Panama who live among the dirt and have no shelves or cupboards to store things and no floor to sweep.

I will not complain the next time it rains and I get a little wet. For I will remember my new friends who don’t even have solid walls to keep them dry from the hard Panamanian rains.

I will not complain when my children don’t get as much for Christmas or their birthdays as I’d wish. For I will remember my Panamanian friends who got so excited over a quart-sized baggie filled with candy and a few dime-store toys.

My sofa is worn and my carpet is stained. But at least I have some. My Panamanian friends live in 1 room shacks, shelters, and stone houses with sometimes up to as many as 8 kids.

I don’t have extra money to eat out a lot; but at least I don’t have to send my kids to a feeding center just to get fed.

I am blessed. I am spoiled. I am rich. I am no different than my new friends. I just happen to have been born in a blessed country.

And when I’m a little bit inconvenienced, a little bit down on my luck, or a little bit disappointed – I will strive with all my heart to not complain. Because I have so much.

Back From Panama

2009-07-07T18:47:00.002-06:00

Our family arrived safely home from Panama late last night. Thank you all soo much for your prayers. Our flights went well and we all were kept safe. I did catch a small "something" but didn't start feeling an uncomfortable stomach until yesterday on the way from Panama to Atlanta. It made for some loong flights but I'm thankful that I didn't feel unwell while ministering IN Panama.

Today, I'm still battling my stomach somewhat but it's tolerable and I'm hoping will go away in a day or so.

So much to do now that we are home. Tons of laundry, lots of ministry work, my parents are here until Thursday, and Eliseo and I have a video to prepare of our missions trip to Panama for this weekend's services.

Please bear with me as I will be sporadically in and out probably until next week when I can really try to get back into the swing of things. I will try to post some pictures and maybe our video that will be shown at church.

It was an amazing trip - I'm more than blessed that our family could experience this together and would do it again in a heartbeat.

~ Dionna

Withdrawals

2009-07-03T17:31:00.000-06:00

As you read this, I am probably going through Internet withdrawals. I did not take my laptop with me to Panama. I just can’t imagine how I am doing without it! Knowing that my days would be full serving children and ministering to others, taking pictures, and ministering to my own to girls who are along…. I knew it was probably wise to leave the laptop behind. But oh how I miss it!!

I am probably scribbling like mad in my journal trying to get some sort of article down before it leaves my mind forever. I tend to like typing in Word doc because it allows me to pour out my thoughts before they escape me better than writing in pen and paper. But I will have to resort to rudimentary means this trip! Just know that if I have time at all and God allows it – I WILL be pouring out something that He is showing and teaching me on this missions journey to share with you in the future.

Please continue to remember my family and I in your prayers. We will be returning the 2nd week of July.

Remember My Family In Your Prayers

2009-06-29T05:24:00.000-06:00

I arranged this blog to go out ahead of time. So as you read this, my family and I are in Panama on our first missions trip together. Eliseo and I have both been on missions trips before but we have never taken the girls. I can’t tell you how excited I am to have them along this time. I am nervous too. Nervous to have my two most precious beings in a foreign country where I don’t speak the language. But just as I know that God orchestrated this trip for us, I know that He will watch out for us wherever we may be.

I’d like to ask you if you would be kind enough to stop whatever you are doing and say a prayer for us right now. Chances are we are low on sleep, being stretched in areas of our comfort, and seeing things that impact our hearts and will change us forever. If you could just ask that the Lord would:

1. Keep us safe.
I have this “thing” knowing that Panama has crocodiles. I’m just praying we don’t run across any. J But there’s also many other things that could harm us – physically, emotionally and spiritually. Satan tends to like to work overtime when he knows we’re doing God’s line of work – so if you would just pray for my families’ safety as well as the small team we are here with, I would be eternally grateful.

2. God would speak to us personally.
I’m sure there are things that each one of us needs to hear and be directed on in our lives. My deepest heart’s desire is that God would speak very personally to each member of my family about what He wants us to do with what we’ve seen here in Panama and how He wants us to use it in the future.

3. Health.
Please pray for no food poisoning, sicknesses, ailments, or disease to come upon us during these 10 days.

Anything else you can think of! Pray for the pilots who will fly our planes, the people who will serve our food, that we will get plenty of rest, that we will truly minister to the children and people we came here to serve, that my children will be able to adjust to the different time zone, different foods and way of living and see the joy that God gives us when we impact another life on His behalf.

I have been so excited to go on this trip and I know that whatever happens – it will become a part of my heart and life – changing a bit of me forever. But more than that, I want it to impact my children profoundly.

Know that I miss you already and being in regular touch with you. I covet your prayers so much and never take them for granted.

Dionna

Fun With Photos

2009-06-24T14:30:00.010-06:00

A friend of mine shared this link with me - it's a fun place to mess around with your photos. Look what I was able to come up with.....

Isn't that a hoot? I thought those of you who like to edit and mess around with your photos might enjoy visiting the site. Have fun! :)

Why Do All the Good Ideas Come At Night?

2009-06-22T13:48:00.003-06:00

Some days I really want to write an article and I just can’t find the words. I get in bed at night and am just flooded with words. The things is…I’m tired. I am in bed, people! So I try to toss them around in my head hoping that when daylight comes, I will remember them. Most of the time, I don’t and it drives me bonkers.

I used to have pen and paper by my bed. I guess I need to do that again. I think I’m hit with article ideas at night because that is the time when my body stars to rest and I relive and go through the events and conversations of the day.

I’m the kind of person who really writes well when it’s something on my heart. I don’t write as well when it’s a subject assigned or forced on me. I just don’t seem to have the same “flow” that I do when my fingers just fly over the keyboard out of the outpouring of emotion and passion going on inside of me over a certain thing. So that’s why it’s especially frustrating when I know I have a topic or focus subject on my heart that is ready to come out! If I got up every time the writer ‘bug’ hit me at bedtime, who knows when I’d get to sleep? During the daylight hours, sometimes I will literally fly to the computer to type something out before I lose it. And sometimes, I have a writer’s “flurry” where I will be inspired to write a group of articles all at once – on different topics mind you! I guess I just get inspired. But bedtime is just not convenient for me to be getting inspired these days.

Maybe I can adjust to my “nighttime” writer’s pulse when my kids are older. I might drive my husband a little bonkers but it could work. But for now, I’m just hoping that I can somehow tap into some of those ideas later the next day otherwise there will remain many stories in my heart left unwritten….

**For those of you who write – how do you capture an idea or a subject when it’s not a convenient time and you don’t want to “lose” the thought?

Discovering a Life Full of Joy

2009-06-19T12:43:00.002-06:00

I listen to the “Today Show” a lot in the mornings while I’m getting ready for the day. On occasion, I leave it on instead of flipping to my favorite radio show or listening to a podcast on my IPOD. When I do, I love to listen to Willard Scott do the “Smuckers” Happy Birthday segment. I consistently am in awe as I hear of men and women celebrating their 100th or 110th birthdays.

One of my favorite parts of this segment is hearing Willard talk about the birthday person and what they attribute their secret of longevity to. I hear a wide range of answers – things from “my beautiful spouse,” “traveling,” “a good stiff drink,” “my faith,” or “good friends.” I find it fascinating that these answers range from loving relationships, beliefs in God, and hobbies to habits that would otherwise be thought to shorten a lifespan because they are unhealthy!

One common denominator I’ve seen in these “centenarians” is that everything anyone suggests or attributes to being able to live a good long life encompasses joy. Whether it’s a person, an activity, or a habit – it has brought these individuals great joy.

On my cell phone I have a saying that I typed into the screen. When you open it up it says, “The joy of the Lord is my strength.” Joy. God gives us our joys. He strengthens us in those joys. Joy can heal us when we are emotionally wounded or physically unwell. It’s well-said that laughter is great medicine! Why? Because it brings us joy. So it stands to reason that joy also extends life.

There is so much to be stressful about. We can get wrapped up in the fact that so-and-so hurt our feelings or we don’t have the amount of money that we want. We can engage in so many battles that only deepen our worry lines and our frowns instead of deepening our smiles.

My quest this year is to find what these “Smuckers” birthday celebrants have found. Deep joy. I want to access the joy that I know that God wants to hand to me on a daily basis. I want to laugh more often and deeper. I want to smile, celebrate, and love with pure contented joy in simply being alive. And if I’m lucky enough, someday Willard (or his successor) will be saying my name and wishing me a happy 100th birthday. Oh what joy that will bring me.

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One Lovely Blogger

2009-06-18T15:13:00.001-06:00

Thanks Paulette for this award.....

That was so very sweet of you. :)

Crazy Birds!

2009-06-15T16:36:00.006-06:00

Look what my husband discovered today ---

Those crazy birds are putting mud on our house up under our eaves! Then they are going to build nests. Nice huh?

They are going to town at it. It's all along the upper back side of our house and along the side of our house on both sides as well. It wasn't there the other day! They've made a lot of progress....

I was in awe of it. My husband was ticked.

One thing we've noticed - they like stucco. None of our neighbors have this problem except one across the street. And they have stucco too.

I'm amazed that they would put mud all around our house instead of in one tiny spot where they want to make a nest. I love bird nests in the trees and stuff but mudding up our house isn't on the agenda....

The Pass It Back Journal

2009-06-13T15:36:00.002-06:00

I had a friend recently ask me how I stayed so close to my girls. She was looking for some concrete and tangible ideas to use in her own home. I was honored that she’d ask for my opinion. I do try to stay close to my girls. As they grow up, I have to get more and more creative or often switch my tactics when I see that something isn’t working to get them to open up to me anymore.

One idea I do think works in my home and that I shared with my friend was the pass-it-back journal. Basically it’s a journal that each individual child and I share. One of us will write in it and then go and lay it on the other person’s bed. Once that person has read it, it is their turn to respond and pass it back. Sometimes it may be the very same day, sometimes a week, even a month or more can pass before we return the journal. It’s not a pressured thing.

The goal is to simply talk through a different means; writing. Sometimes my daughter and I talk about school, friends, gifts she wants for Christmas, makeup etc. Other times deeper subjects encroach into the journals. For whatever reasons, at times, she feels she can open up more through the journal than by talking to me face to face. And although I want her to feel like she can talk to me in person anytime about anything, I am so thankful the journal is around to hear her express feelings on certain issues. To me, it doesn’t always matter how something comes out – as long as she DOES talk to me about it in some form or manner!

My other daughter hasn’t seemed to grasp onto the concept of the journal quite as much. Maybe it’s because she’s younger or hasn’t dealt with as many issues. Maybe it’s just her different personality. But we tend to write less to each other than my other daughter and I do.

I would really encourage anyone who is having trouble getting their children to open up to them or share things in their lives to at least try the “Pass-It-Back” journaling idea. For some children, it might be a less confrontive measure in which they can share their hearts with you. Of course, the journals need to be confidential and you will earn your child’s trust as you go along.

I think it’s good to remind ourselves, too, that listening sometimes matters more than advising. How we respond to what our children say will often dictate whether or not they come back to us again about something. This is something that I myself am working on because it can be so easy to want to shout out “That is wrong!” or “Don’t you ever do something like that!” A positive example can often be just as powerful as shouting out or dictating and pointing at the negative. Journals are great ways in which to do this because you have the time to think out your response before writing back in it.

Give the journaling thing a try. It may not work, it may work wonderfully, or it may just work for a season… but for me, it is a real asset to staying in tune with what my daughter is thinking and feeling – thoughts that I may not have ever heard otherwise.

It's Easier To Believe the Bad Stuff

2009-06-10T13:12:00.003-06:00

Have you ever noticed how it’s easier to believe the bad stuff about yourself instead of the good? Recently I shared with a friend how I felt very boring. I don’t know what it was, but for at least the last ten years I have felt like I must be a very boring and forgettable person. I was even left behind on a mission’s trip before! That only solidified the fact that I must not be very memorable.

This friend had made a comment about my “strong” personality so I asked her about it. I said, “Do I have a strong personality?” I was expecting her to come back to me and tell me that I could be bold sometimes or that maybe I came off stronger that I intended in my beliefs or thoughts. I was ready to remedy my behavior and work on some issues that maybe I didn’t know I had.

I was very surprised when my friend emailed me back and told me that she thought I had an AMAZING personality and that I was one of the most “unboring” people she had ever met (and she had met a lot of people!) I was blown away. I was humbled. I was thankful. I was encouraged to tears. Then I thought about how easily I had believed a lie that Satan had filled my mind with. How easy it was for me to believe the bad about myself.

Sometimes we are our own worst enemies. We allow ourselves to feel defeated based on thoughts that no one else has really stated about us. And if they have, we believe them never really thinking that their opinion could be in the minority or that they could be wrong!

We need to carefully filter what we believe about ourselves. Just because someone says something about us doesn’t mean they are right. Instead, maybe we should hold up what everyone says to what God says about us! From what I’ve read in the Bible, He delights in me, desires to be close to me, enjoys me, loves me, believes in me, and fights for me! He even finds me beautiful because He created me with the loving hands of a Father. I am cherished. That’s what I need to remember when I find myself talking defeating “self-talk” to myself.

Whether or not I’m boring, mediocre, or plain to other people really doesn’t matter in the long run. Because I can find joy, purpose, and beauty simply believing in what God thinks of me. Then maybe the bad stuff won’t be so easy to believe.

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When You Can't Fix It

2009-06-07T17:38:00.000-06:00

Parents are supposed to make everything better – at least that’s how I feel sometimes. I want to be there for my kids for them to lean on when they need support, for them to cry with when they need a shoulder, and for them to come to when they have questions.
But life is tough. And sometimes I just can’t fix the issues or problems that come along.

I can be really hard on myself as a person AND as a parent. I expect a lot out of myself. So it can be frustrating and disappointing when I feel so helpless. My children mean the world to me. I never like to see them hurting, or left to fend for themselves! Yet sometimes I know this is a must in order for them to find their own footing and internal strength.

I know that God doesn’t fix all of my problems. I sure wish He would but in hindsight, I see how so many times I learned deep lessons through those challenging times. I also grew in my faith. Sometimes I gained courage, sometimes I gained compassion, and sometimes I just gained insight that was needed whether towards myself, a certain situation, or towards somebody else. If God had fixed my problems, I oftentimes would have missed out on the rich blessings that I found through seeing life in a different way. I would have been a little less generous, less humble, and more selfish; taking things for granted.

Our kids are the same way. We can’t rush in and fix everything for them. They have lessons to learn, roots to grow, discoveries to make, and faith to deepen.

I think the most important thing I can give my kids when they are going through something is my love and support. I can be there to listen and to understand their heart and their struggle. I can pray for them and I can encourage them. I can be honest with them letting them know that I have limitations and I can’t fix everything. And even if I could, I shouldn’t!! We need to pick and choose our battles so carefully otherwise our children will always remain weak relying on us when they should be learning to rely on God to direct their choices and paths.

It’s so hard for me to stand by and see my children suffer. But its value is worth it if they learn and better themselves from it and if what they are going through turns them towards God instead of away from Him.

We may not be able to fix everything, but we sure can guide and direct and teach our children how to emotionally handle the adversities and challenges that come their way. Show them by our attitudes and choices that life doesn’t have to defeat you or make you feel like a victim but that you can change its direction at times merely by what you believe about God, and yourself.

The next time your children are going through something that you wish you could fix, get on your knees with them and pray about it. Hug them and let them know you are there for them and never, never give up on believing that they will find their way through the problem..

Our children are a precious gift. Give them the gift of believing in them because sometimes that’s all it takes.

Just Enough

2009-06-05T11:23:00.005-06:00

As a mom, I can get very protective of my kids. Whenever I feel like they are getting the shaft or the raw end of something, it pains me and I can get very feisty. It’s not that I don’t understand that life’s not fair; it’s just that sometimes I feel like life is a little one-sided in the unfairness department.

I’ll give you a couple examples.

One Easter many kids got loads and loads of Easter eggs in the hunt after church in their Easter baskets. Not my daughter. She barely got a basketful when other kids had a basket and a half.

My kids don’t get huge birthday parties and get lavished with gifts by tons of relatives. I see other kids get gifts from relatives afar and have so many things. My kids don’t get much from extended family.

My kids seem to have to work very hard to get recognized for the things they do when other kids are easily esteemed and praised.

They will wait for over an hour at a parade to get a good spot to get candy thrown out when some kids come at the last minute, stand in front of them, and get most (if not all) of what is thrown out.

It’s hard to find that balance as a mom of wanting your kids to get things but not wanting them to get materialistic. I want my kids to be celebrated, recognized; given blessings, and gifts – yet I don’t want them to be needy or rely on “stuff” to make them happy. I want them to find that internal satisfaction that hard work, pride, and doing the right thing can bring them. It’s a fine line to walk.

When I look back and see the times that I’ve pouted for my kids getting a “raw deal” I can see something that I couldn’t see at the time. The time my daughter didn’t get as many Easter eggs as the other kids? She got just enough. The time my kids didn’t get recognized or praised easily but only got a little? They got just enough. When they don’t get presents for birthday or Christmas by all of their relatives? They still get just enough. And if they only get a few pieces of candy at a parade instead of pocketfuls? They get just enough.

Maybe if I started teaching and praising my children for getting just enough of what they need or desire – they could learn to be more content in life. Maybe I could learn to be more content instead of wanting them to get over, above, and beyond.

That’s called excess.

I’m so thankful that God gives my kids just enough – instead of lavishing them with too much. I’m thankful that He gives them just the right amount instead of relying on my judgement.

Just enough is what my kids need to be happy. No more and no less. May I learn this lesson right along with them.

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Control Issues

2009-06-02T12:49:00.004-06:00

Recently, God has been speaking to my heart about some issues I have with control. I never would have viewed myself as someone who had “control issues” but now that I reflect upon some things, I can see that I do. I think a lot of us do if we are honest with ourselves. But God has been showing me some things.

God has been showing me how stressed I get when I feel like things are out of my control. Which honestly? Is a great deal of life. I can’t control my children. I can guide them and teach them, but I can’t control them. I can’t control my friends. I can’t control my relatives. I can’t control the driver in the lane next to me. I can’t control the weather, my neighbors, my pet, or my health (to some extent.)

I don’t know what it is about us that makes us want to feel like we have control. I think that’s why perfection is strived for by so many people. For perfectionistic people need that semblance of control.

I don’t know why I didn’t see it before. How I possibly could not have realized that I get stressed over things that I have no control over. For if I did, there would be no reason to stress!

I’m seeing though – that when I get stressed I’m basically telling the Lord that I don’t have faith in Him to handle the person or situation. I’m trying to handle things myself and not giving Him room to work. It’s because I don’t want things to go less than perfectly or less than I’d planned. I don’t want people to behave in a manner that I don’t appreciate or that even possibly hurts me.

We need to give people room to be flawed. Give our lives the room to be less than perfect – less than ideal.

You know what I’ve found? I’ve found that some of my sweetest moments were in those unplanned moments. Those moments where I threw up my hands, told the Lord, “Ok – what you say goes” and allowed myself to be flexible, bendable, and workable both physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And I’ve never regretted it. For with a change in attitude comes a change in perspective.

We all need to give up our need for control. Life has so much to give us and God has so much He wants to bless us with. But He can’t do that and we can’t feel it if we are holding on to everything around us with tightly gripped fists.

It’s time to let go and truly feel the freedom we long for. It’s not as scary as we think.

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It's Shrinking!

2009-05-31T15:55:00.005-06:00

I have allergies so I often bring mints, cough drops, and hard candy with me to church so that I can suck on them during the service and not cough or clear my throat too often. Recently, I bought some Werther’s butterscotch candy pieces. I was amazed at how small they were! I swear they’ve shrunk and it’s not the first item I’ve found that is getting smaller. Take granola bars for instance. They are NOT as big as they were when I was a kid. They’ve shrunk. And I’ve noticed that cereal boxes and ice cream containers are also shrinking. Don’t even get me started on chips! I bought a bag of Rice Works chips because they were healthier. Less than half the bag was full!

Be smart when you shop. You are not getting a good deal just by looking at price alone. You need to also look at the size of the item you are buying. Quantity does matter when it comes to getting a good price!

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Neglecting Your Spouse

2009-05-28T16:29:00.004-06:00

Neglect. It can slip into a marriage relationship before you even know what has happened.

Our minds are so full. We have children to take care of and manage. We can get so distracted. I often tell my family “it’s hard to remember everything for everybody else including me!” But I do try and most of the time, I do pretty well. Except that I’ve found that something always has to “give.” If I’m on top of things with managing my home and taking care of all of my children’s needs…. Sometimes without knowing or wanting to, I neglect my husband’s.

Think about it. Most couples when they first get married are very alert to each other’s needs. They are extremely sensitive and caring and quite often extend extra gestures of kindness towards one another. Then, as time goes on, those “little things” are forgotten in the wake of bigger problems and more on the “to do” list.

It doesn’t take much to show your spouse that you love them. It can be a nice tall glass of water or lemonade while they are working in the yard or a special candy bar purchased for them at the grocery store. How about meeting them for lunch while they are at work? You can shape their food into a heart, or rub their neck while on the sofa. My husband often turns my heated seat on for me in the winter before I get into the car. He knows how much I hate being cold and this little gesture of love may seem so tiny, but it does not go unnoticed by me.

When small gestures of love starting falling by the wayside, a marriage relationship can start feeling a little “off.” It’s too easy to lose that sense of camaraderie and “oneness” that is so vital in navigating life together as a team. Then you start talking to one another a little more harshly and before you know it, you look across the table and you see a stranger. Don’t let that happen.

Take a little extra time to continue to do “little things” for your husband to let him know that he is a priority in your life. Remind him that you’ve got “his back” and that you truly care about his interests and preferences in life. I think you’ll find that if you can simply spare a few minutes here and there to be attentive, that he will grow more attentive to you as well and the “sweetness” that returns to your marriage will be one that you will never want to let go of again.

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Songs That Take You Back

2009-05-25T09:11:00.003-06:00

There are just some songs that will be a part of your life forever. Our parents did it to us – or the music industry for having a certain song out at a certain moment/juncture in our lives. But once you have a song play a part in a special memory…. it will hold that spot forever. Forget the fact that you may not have chosen to like that song if it hadn’t been prominent in your special memories! :

I was thinking today about the special songs in my life and how they create and stir such fond memories in my heart. Do you want to hear a few? Okay here goes…

*Tragedy by the Bee Gees. My dad was and is a big Bee Gees fan. We didn’t have many cassettes in our home growing up (yes, I said cassettes) but I do remember the Bee Gees. We’d play it in the car over and over – especially on car trips and my sister and I would gleefully belt out “Tragedy” after every explosion that came in the song. It will forever be dear to my heart reminding me not only of those innocent childhood years, but of warm, tender feelings I have for my dad.

*Midnight at the Oasis by Maria Muldaur. Honestly, I think this is one of those songs that I may not have chosen to love on my own. But when our family got a brand new Oldsmobile, it came with a free cassette tape! And this song was on there. So it reminds me of family time and traipsing around doing errands or going to and from school in that red Oldsmobile.

*Let Somebody Love You by Quarterflash. My husband made me a special cassette (I know – it really dates me that I keep saying cassette) when we were dating. I was a little bashful about committing to him and this song was on there. It touched me so much. It will forever be a treasured melody.

*Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Swede. Had never heard the song before. In fact, I laughed the first time I heard it. But again, a song that my husband put on the tape when we were dating. This song reminds me of him and his style of music so much. Plus, it just makes me remember that new feeling of being in love.

*The Flame by Cheap Trick. High school. Crushes. Being a teen.

There are so many more songs that speak to my heart. They are timeless. There are those songs that remind me of vacations and time spent with friends. There are songs that remind me of heartache and they seemed to come along at just the right time in my life. There are songs that inspire me and songs that remind me of my kids.

I just love how music can do that. What a special gift a songwriter and performer have in creating a song that will play a part in so many timeless and treasured moments in our lives.

Music is part of our traditions. It’s part of our hearts. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Children Need To Be Held Accountable

2009-05-22T10:06:00.007-06:00

Accountability. Have you noticed the lack of it in society today. Especially the accountability that is required of our children.

Take cell phones for example. Our 12 year old daughter has been begging us for one. A couple of her friends have one but we have maintained our stance that she does not need one right now. I mean, honestly – what 12 year old NEEDS a cell phone?? And once we get her one a whole new world will open up; one that we will need to closely guard and monitor because the main reason she wants one is so that she can text her friends.

I’ve heard my daughter whine about me checking in on her email account. But rest assured that if/when she gets a cell phone – I have the right to check up on her texting as well. Why? Isn’t that an invasion of privacy? My daughter would exclaim that I don’t trust her. But you see, it’s not about trust – it’s about accountability. It’s about my daughter learning to be accountable to someone for her actions.

Most children who have cell phones these days do not have to be accountable to their parents. That’s why they love having the phones! They create independence, freedom, and a right to live and say what they want. Which is not a bad thing…if it’s earned and given at a time when they can truly handle it. If not, instead of honorable independence it’s more like reckless abandon.

When I was growing up we had phones in the main areas of the house. There was no way to “hide” your conversation. Yet today, kids can hide their emails, their chats, and their texts as often as they want – or they can delete them. If you are doing something honorable, why the need to hide or delete it?

I am not saying that kids shouldn’t have cell phones. I AM saying that there needs to be more accountability enforced by parents. If your child has a cell phone don’t give them unlimited texting – if you do, make them earn the money to pay for it. If not, give them a certain amount and make sure they stay within those confines. Spot check their texts at random times asking them to hand their phones over and show you what is on their phone. Learn what the texting codes are these days and who your child is talking to. The same goes for email, chat, facebook, myspace or any other activity your child is a part of. Make them accountable. The more a child has to be accountable to someone the more they learn boundaries and how to size up what they are doing, where, how, and why as they grow up and mature.

There is a reason our children are called “minors.” They still need parents. And just because we live in a world that is at supersonic speed when it comes to technological advancements doesn’t mean that we need to relax our standards, values, or morals. We can adapt them to what is around us but that just means learning new ways to teach, enforce, stretch, and guide our kids in this ever-changing world.

Hey – I’m struggling with the shifting sand beneath my feet just as you are. But we have to be creative, think outside of the box and be willing to be flexible as we work with our kids and work FOR our kids. Sometimes that means we may not be the most popular parent with them for awhile. But to protect them physically, emotionally, and spiritually? That’s worth every frown they may give me.

Related Posts:
Discipling Kids as a Group

A Child Who Crumbless.. or a Child Who Stands Tall in the Fight?

Do The Right Thing

Cell Phones Shouldn't Replace Respect

Receipt Box

2009-05-20T13:58:00.001-06:00

As my children grow up and start making their own purchases, I find myself sharing little tips for them to help them get more organized. One of those tips is to save their receipts. You never know when that new shirt will rip 10 days after you bought it or you will discover something has a chip in it. Keeping a receipt is important so that when you go to return or exchange that item, the store won’t hassle you on it.

Receipts can get to be very messy. After all, anything made of paper can be hard to keep track of and can get to be an overwhelming pile. Receipts are so small that if you stash them in places, they can easily get lost.

I have a small cedar box that I keep my receipts in. I got it from a furniture store as a gift when I graduated from high school. It’s perfect to keep receipts in because it looks very nice from the outside and keeps all the “mess” on the inside!

In addition to keeping my receipts in my cedar box, I write on them. I can get lost when I’m going through mounds of “Target” receipts trying to decipher the abbreviations of what I purchased. Was this the green sweater or was this? Even if I have an estimated price in my head it can be tough at times to remember what is what. So I write on the back of the receipts who the item was for, and what it was with a small description. Then when I go through my receipt box every once in awhile, it also helps me quickly know what receipts to throw away and what ones to keep. After all, I’m not going to want to keep a receipt for a pair of shoes that I bought 6 months ago and have worn many times since then. But I will want to keep a receipt for a larger purchase item such as a television or a camera.

Saving receipts has kept me from being stressed out many a time when a purchased item needed to be returned for whatever reason. If you aren’t in the habit of keeping your receipts, you might want to start. Also, find a nice box, empty drawer, or some other “home” for them so that you can keep them all in one spot – never having to rummage around to find one. Make sure you go through them regularly (every few months or twice a year) and start to see this little technique work to make your shopping (and spending) life a little smoother.

Our Families' Adventures This May

2009-05-18T10:55:00.013-06:00

I haven't done a "personal" family post in awhile so I thought it was time for one - especially since May has been so busy for us with lots of busy and fun things going on.

Here is a rundown of some of our fun adventures this month:

Cinco De Mayo party with friends (it rained and the weather was cool so it kind of messed up our plan to play volleyball and croquet - but at least there was a window of sunshine for the pinata!)

Mother's Day - We went on a family photo shoot. SO much fun. This turned out to be a beautiful day and we had a lot of fun together.

The hubs and I decided to not get each other little gifts this year but to instead buy something larger as a combined Mother's and Father's Day gift. So we purchased a porch swing which I absolutely adore. I've been out there several times already doing my Esther Bible Study while sitting on it. And although it's just now getting warm out, I threw a blanket on it and suffered through some early chill just to enjoy my new gift. :)

All-Night "Blitz" - Our church throws an all-nighter for junior high and high school kids and invite other churches to show up too. They have a speaker, door prizes, pizza at 2 in the morning and they go to a local fun zone and YMCA for laser tag, go-carts, swimming etc. This was my oldest daughter's first time going and she invited two friends. I had never seen so many kids when I went to drop them off! I think there were 400-500 kids that went. An amazing outreach. It was pretty funny to see my daughter eat breakfast the next morning with her eyes shut. I don't know how she stayed awake to eat. :)

My baby girl turned 10! I'm starting to "feel" older saying I now have a 10 and 12 year old. My youngest loves the outdoors and so she wanted to have an outdoors birthday adventure. We drove 3 hrs to "Craters of the Moon." We had never been there before and it was pretty cool. It is a lava rock preserve and it has nature trails and some caves along with miles after miles of lava rock. It's pretty amazing to see - it looks so desolate - like a wasteland. They even have had astronauts come there to examine the rock to help them before they went to the moon!

Fascinating. My favorite part was this huge cave we went in. It wasn't deep, dark, and scary but pretty open and wide. You just had to maneuver over rock and be careful lest you slip and hurt yourself.

In the midst of these fun "Bigger" events I have had Bible Study each week, we've had some small groups meetings, regular church on the weekends, normal house and yard maintance, Emphasis On Moms ministry work, and writing, as well as a few appointments, school "to do's" for the girls and birthdays to buy for.

I pulled my oldest out of school to rejoin some old friends at her old school for a "social" and to say goodbye to one of her close friends as her family moves to Nevada for job reasons.

On top of all of that, my stepson and daughter-in-law are moving today to go up to U of I. So we've had to say another "goodbye."

And it seems like all of my shows are having "finales" right now. I don't watch that many - only Survivor, Biggest Loser, and American Idol. So I'm trying to record or squeeze time in to watch them. We have been so busy that I totally forgot about the Survivor finale last night until I was laying in bed!! Luckily they had some recaps online today so I could finish the season out by watching. Otherwise I would have felt so robbed of an end of season payoff!

Now we're counting down the days until school is out and we are getting emotionally and physically in gear for our missions trip to Panama in June. My house is getting a bit messy but I've really felt like I've been able to pace myself for the most part this month. And the weather is starting to warm up so life is good. :)

I'm so thankful for my life - the busy times, the slow times, the hard and the calm. God gives me lessons to learn in each and I continue to love pouring out my heart in articles, columns, and blogs for you. It is such a blessing to serve you and minister to you as I work through things myself.

Thanks for "doing life" with me.
~ Dionna

You Never Get Over School

2009-05-15T09:52:00.003-06:00

Peer pressure and cliques. You can never really get away from them, can you? When you are in school you can’t wait to be an adult so that you don’t have to deal with cliques, popularity and peer pressure anymore. But the thing is, they will always be a part of your life.

I noticed “mom groups” early on in my parenting. It was the circle of moms at school that always volunteered. They knew each other well and would converse easily leaving other moms on the “fringe.” Maybe it was unintentional but it was done.

Even at church there are those groups of friends who are so comfortable with one another that they seem to forget that there are other people out there longing for close friendships.

And in the blogging world you even have the “popular’ blogs that everyone visits. I don’t know how the pecking order happens – it just does.

I think life is about wanting acceptance. That’s why there are so many social systems that people put in place. A lot of the time I think people inadvertently do it. They don’t mean to hurt anyone else. They are decent people. They just get comfortable in their circle and forget that their life might be blessed further by letting others in. Women especially can find themselves in these situations time and time again.

I remember my school years. I remember the times where I felt comfortable, included, and well-liked. I also remember the times that I did not. I know what it feels like on both ends of the spectrum. I know that the words people said to me in school STILL reverberate within me. Do you know I still have issues with my behind because some girls told me I had a big butt in junior high?

As a parent, I now see things my girls go through and I carefully watch to see how it’s affecting their self esteem knowing full well that whether they have a good or a bad school experience, it will affect how they feel about themselves all of their lives. Luckily for me, I was pretty confident in who I was and what I believed about myself and life so I wasn’t scarred too deeply – (except about my butt). But it could have been so different. I know others who haven’t been as fortunate. They still struggle to free themselves from an image that others projected onto them. They still seek acceptance.

School is a huge part of our children’s lives. It was a huge part of OUR lives. We can’t discount what our children feel or wave it away as if it’s irrelevant. For if it’s important enough for them to mention it, it’s important enough for us to listen. If we can give our children strong roots while they are young and help them form a positive self image that doesn’t rely on what they do but in who they are; then they will be able to not only walk the school halls in confidence but their whole lives.

The Sound of Our Own Voice

2009-05-13T10:47:00.001-06:00

When you pray to God – are you really talking TO Him or are you just simulating a conversation? I was thinking about this recently. About how sometimes we can act like we are praying or talking to the Lord, when in all reality we are just talking to ourselves.

I’ve done it many times. When you are sitting alone in your car or getting ready for the day and you start to “self-talk.” Those are the times where we are trying to work through some issues and we are having a conversation with ourselves about it. Maybe we are trying to make a big decision or console ourselves about a dilemma. But “self-talk” is not the same thing as talking to the Lord and I think we need to be careful about disguising it as such.

When I truly, TRULY talk to the Lord my heart, and my countenance are lifted in an upward direction. I don’t necessarily have to look at the sky, but I’m directing my thoughts, emotions and feelings upward towards Him. I seek out His advice, or I pour out my heart to Him. But when I’m just talking to myself, I’m asking AND responding! There’s a difference.
It’s so easy to banter back and forth with ourselves. We can play both sides of the fence as we try to work through something. But if we are bending our hearts and our attitudes in prayer towards the Lord there should be no banter at all. Our hearts are in a prayerful state ready for and waiting for answers or responses that the Lord may direct our way.

Sometimes I wonder why I don’t feel the Lord’s presence or hear Him answering my heart’s cry on an issue. It could be because without even realizing it, I have not really spent time with Him…I’ve merely spent it with myself. Think about it the next time you go to Him in prayer. Make sure that you are truly directing your thoughts His way instead of merely rambling on and listening to the sound of your own voice. For although He still hears us when we do this, He wants all of our attention – not just a fragment of it.

Mother's Day....

2009-05-10T11:27:00.002-06:00

Today isn't about how much you get, or how lavishly your family recognizes you and all that you do. I think it's more about us moms taking a few minutes to thank the Lord for blessing us with children. There are so many out there who cannot have children at all.

Our children have enriched our lives, they have stretched us in ways we never thought possible and they make us better people simply by existing.

When the way seems tough, you get discouraged, or you are frustrated - be encouraged. You are a mom. The toughest yet most important role that a person can have.

From one mom to another - thank you for investing into your children's lives. Thanks for loving them when they are unloveable. Believing in them when things seem impossible and for praying for them and fighting for them.

Today more than ever, our children need us. You are their reward and special gift - whether they know it or not.

Dionna

Emphasis On Moms

The Cure For The Blues

2009-05-06T14:00:00.002-06:00

The blues. We all get them for varied reasons. Maybe something is on your mind, you’re going through a particularly stressful time, finances are tight, someone said something that bothered you, or you’re just plain having a bad day! Whatever the reason, the “blues” are a phase we all can’t wait to get out of.

I found a cure for when I get the blues. It was right under my nose. It’s my children.

I’m not kidding.

My kids are the perfect medicine for when I’m down, blue, or having a particularly tough day. They never fail to know when to hug me, make me smile, or cheer me up. I’ve learned that if I can set aside my agenda and just go and spend some undivided time with them that before I know it, my attitude is brighter and my heart is lighter. It does me a world of good just being around their sweet personalities. Listening to them, laughing with them, and loving on them a whole lot makes everything else seem so trivial. I don’t have to ask anything of them or place any expectations on them – for when I’m with them and they are just who they were created to be, that is when I receive a blessing from them the most.

Try it. The next time you are having a “stink” of a day – drop everything and go into the bedroom with your kids. Engage yourself in whatever activity they are doing and lose yourself in their world for awhile. Delight in their characteristics and revel in their touch. I promise that when you leave that room…. You will truly feel better.

Our Fears

2009-05-04T08:37:00.003-06:00

God has been speaking to me about my fears lately. I have a lot of them. I think it really started when I became a mom. Fears can so easily encroach on our hearts and lives at that point.

There are so many things to fear. We can fear something happening to our children whether it’s being abducted, physically harmed, bullied, abused – or disease. We can fear something happening to us as the parent. How would that affect our children’s lives to not have us around? They need us! We can fear plane crashes, predators, being alone, being deformed, or terrorists.

My daughter is very afraid of bees. And recently as I was looking into animals for a country we are going to visit – I found myself becoming panicky because they had crocodiles. I mean crocodiles eat people! And don’t get me started on snakes or sharks!

With the recent outbreak of the swine flu, fears of terrorism and just my normal daily fears – God has been speaking to my heart about how easily we can let fear creep in and gain control of our lives.

I was watching the Star Wars trilogy with my girls over the weekend. They had never seen it before and I was fascinated at the analogy of the “dark side.” Luke Skywalker was told that if he let anger and fear gain control he was starting on the path to the “dark side.” It made so much sense. Fear is one of the main ways that Satan gains control of our lives. For if we are fearful of planes, terrorism, and crashes (or even flying over the ocean) we will never go to other countries and spread God’s Word. If we are fearful of someone robbing our homes we will never leave them. If we are fearful of something happening to our children, we will never let them out to do anything that could maybe become a ministry in their lives and allow them to be used to witness to other children’s lives. If we are afraid of FAILURE, we will never try to help, serve, or do something new.

Fear.

It’s rampant and Satan knows how to push our buttons. He knows our weaknesses. He knows right where to get us – to steal our joy – to push us back into a corner where all we do is cower.

God said, “For I did not give you a spirit of fear or timidity….” And He didn’t.

I have found that the truly courageous people in life aren’t fearless. They simply press on DESPITE their fears. And that is my goal as well. I want to travel and be used by the Lord even if the country I’m going to has animals, insects, or disease that may scare me. I want to encourage my children to dream their dreams even if I’m afraid they may get hurt – for their lives are in God’s hands just as much as my life is. I want to take hikes in the woods even though there are bears, cougars, and wolves out there. I want to drive on the freeway even though there is risk of crashing. And I want to live as much as possible even though I could get disease or illness and die in my prime.

I think there’s a fine line in life. We can be smart and wise without being hypochondriacs. We can be discerning without being sheltering. And we can take a chance and risk without being reckless.

I only get one life here. I want to truly make the most of it . And as I work to let God fill in the spaces where fear has gained ground, I ask that you join me as well. Let’s not waste anymore of our time being fearful people. We’ve wasted enough already.