tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8810604.post-1128178656211034292005-10-01T07:50:00.000-07:002005-10-01T07:57:37.636-07:00<center><b>Excerpts from <i>History of the Argottean Federation</i><br /><br />Chapter 4, continued</center></b><br /><br />19 Nirk 356—Solar Orbiting Habitat 3, Argotte system. After twenty-six years of a tightly controlled and strictly administered Civil War, Bubi pnu’Boo’psi’mi, Grand Hurlsboyo of Argotte, prostrates his naked body before Snotto pna’Muph’kappa’sooli, Grand Burpidottir of SOHO, accepting defeat of the Home combatant action groups to the ultimately superior SOHO combatant action groups.<br /><br />Bubi, along with members of the current Argottean dynasty out to the eighth heir and their spouses, and children, where appropriate, waited patiently while corresponding members of the pna’Muph dynasty noisily sharpened their cattle prods.<br /><br />Vri czi’Bri’phili’tuun, Third Degree Novitiate, Excretory Disciples of Hurl, went to each victim, accepted their confession of faithful sins, and placed a dollop of Hurl’s holy snot onto heads, centered in a small shaved area where the cattle prod will be driven. Each member of the pna’Muph dynasty will be assisted in the execution by a member of the Church of Blüd to ensure a bloody, yet nearly painless death to Blüd’s greater glory.<br /><br />Since this was the first mass killing of a royal dynasty in nearly 750 years, bishops of the Execretory Disciples of Hurl, senior bureaucrats from SOHO and Argotte, and Viki xy’Thu’buzi’bi, Senior Dean of Bureaucratic Theory and Practice, Nits Rock University, vociferously debated the various rules, exceptions, exemptions, revisions, and interpretations related to today’s auspicious event.<br /><br />Snotto was brought before the assemble advisors numerous times to state and restate her awareness that her dynasty was now assuming control over all of Argotte, not just her familiar territory on the Solar Orbiting Habitats. The advisors kept insisting that Snotto needed to understand what this meant. After the fifth recall, Snotto finally appeared to understand what was being thrust upon her shoulders of purest alabaster. On the seventh recall, Snotto broke down into an ecstatic display of Hurl’s holy affirmation of the day’s event and peed abundantly on the green linoleum floor. Lesser members of the assemblage had to be visibly held back, less they offend the Grand Burpidottir by lapping up her personal offering to Hurl.<br /><br />Upon returning to the execution arena, Snotto and the advisory team took their places before Blüd’s victims. Vri czi’Bri’phili’tuun said a short prayer acknowledging those members of the pnu’Boo dynasty who made their own offerings to Hurl. Then the members of the pna’Muph dynasty, along with their Church of Blüd assistants, took their places at the head of each member of the pnu’Boo dynasty. When Vri screamed Hurl’s holy words of disgust towards Blüd, the cattle prods were shoved with sufficient force to send the victims to Hurlshome where they will peacefully live with the gods for eternity.Carl Holidayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16768352005574221784noreply@blogger.com