Half Cigarette

Ever been kissed?

2008-03-11T22:22:00.000-07:00

My half sided love story started like a movie. Except for the fact that it started on the 4th day of college not on the first day.

I saw her. She was wearing a navy blue salwar kameez. Her face would give you the impression that a very chubby baby has just woke up from the sleep and therefore the cheeks were like all pink. A dark kajal around her big eyes were the icing on the top. And the lips...my god...just imagine the mist morning of not so chilly winter. The mist settles on the freshly bloomed pink rose and you just want to touch that thing, for no reasons that your mind can justify, but just to feel it. I think you get the picture.

But then again, i have the fetish for beautiful lips. They just attract me like a iron to the big gigantic magnet. I just want to kiss her.

She, being a fresher like me, was also looking around for some known faces to talk to. I thought that this is the time...i should go and talk to her. Just when i got the courage to go and say " Hi
I am also a fresher" my mind called out to me and said thats the most stupid line that it has ever heard in the life. But then again its my mind therefore i believed it and thought for another line.

" Hi, my name is Anil...no no ...i should start like...hi ..my name is kumar...anil kumar...naah ..too much "james bondish"...

" Hi Nidhi" I heard.

There was a bunch of girls who were talking to her. I guess they were from the same school as hers. She started smiling and laughing. I know i have described alot about the lips but this laughter and the smile...god..i have no words. You have to be there to feel the charisma.

I couldn't stop staring at her body for all the "society-wise-wrong-but-man-wise-right" reasons. She was not thin. She was not totally fat. But it was like she had the right amount of fat at right place. Again, I think, you got the picture.

Before i could say anything to her the bell rang. And everyone left for the lecture. She went to different department than mine.

Months passed and then this is today. 14th feb. The day every single guy thinks..yes thats right...thinks...that he would dissect his heart out for the girl he " suppose" he likes. And i am no different. I also thought today is the day.

I woke up.

( at 6 ..usually i wake up at 8 to attend the lectures at 8:30)

Brushed my teeth.

Picked up the dumbells , they were heavy, so i put it down.

Went in the bathroom. Took a long one hour bath.

Opened up the new hair gel bottle that i bought yesterday. Applied the gel on the hair to make it look cooler than me.

Opened the new deodorant bottle, again, bought it yesterday.

Wore the sexy black shirt. Blue jeans.

Stood in front of the mirror...gave myself a wink. My heart was saying, you look very good. My mind was saying, don't accept anything below getting laid. I shook my head vigorously to bring it back to normal state.

In ten minutes i reached the platform, i saw that the local train which would take me to the station near my college was just leaving. I ran and boarded the train.

I stood near the gate, so that i can feel like Vivek Oberoi of movie saathiya and for a moment i felt like him but then i was pushed to get down at the station.

Out side the station there was the flower shop. I bought some pink roses for her. On the way to the college i kept on thinking what would be my opening lines and the effects after that.

I would hold her hand and say " Hi, I am anil kumar. I like you. Would you be my valentine?"

She will say yes and then she we will kiss like we have known each other for ages.

How would be my first kiss?

I have read everything over the internet about a good kiss, and what a good kiss makes you feel. I seen alot of movies and made notes of what should and shouldn't be done in kissing. I have even practiced it with my pillow.

I was confident that the kiss will be like which makes you feel you are in love even if you are not. You forget everything. Yourself, the world everything.

"By any means i will get my first kiss from a girl which is not related to me." I said to me.

" What a ridiculous thing to say?, are you that desperate?" My heart argued.

Because it was valentines day, alot of the classes were empty. Couples were either sitting in the lawns or just walking with each other holding hands.

My eyes were searching for the one.

I looked for her in her class room. But she was not there. I looked in the library but she was not there. I looked in the canteen she was not there. My heart started sinking that she has not come to the college today.

Suddenly i saw her. No, No, not her but the girl with whom i have seen Nidhi on the first day.

I went near to her and asked " Do you know where is Nidhi? "

" Yes she is in Room 31B . She was completing her notes."

" Is she alone?"

" Ya, the psychology lecture just got over. She was the last one in the room"

" Ok Thanks "

31B was on the second floor. I climbed the stairs up. After reaching the second floor, i pulled out the flowers from my bag. The rooms were on the left side. I adjusted my hairs, my shirt looking in to the glass fitted in the window of the classroom. I read the classroom number.

" 29 B"

I moved ahead.

"30B"

My heart was beating like a mad monkey in the cage. I took a deep breath to calm down my heart.

There it was.

" 31B. "

My destiny. I revised all the lines that i thought i would say. Then i took a little peak.

My heart stopped for a moment.

Nidhi was kissing some other guy. They holding each other tightly and were kissing passionately.

I stood there for 5-10 seconds, watching them, wondering what to do?

Should i barge in and therefore make it stop. Should i go and beat the hell out of the other guy. Should i slap Nidhi ? Slap her? but why she doesn't even know my name.

I decided i would not do anything and just walked back through the gallery. I dropped the flowers in the dustbin and walked slowly.

Why i was sad? I was not able to figure out? She was not my girlfriend. She had all the right to do whatever the hell she wants to do. She could even kiss, Shakti kapoor, i wont mind.

May be it was because i wanted to be the one in love.

To be loved.

Its not that only Boyfriend and girlfriend kiss each other. My mom kisses me on the forhead. My father kissed me on the head. A kiss is a way to show that you care. You love.

I left the college building- thinking many things. Things like:

whether my she was my real love or just an obsession.

I should kill that guy.

I wasted my money on deodorant and gel.

I will not wear this black shirt.

I will just go at home and go to sleep.

May be i will watch something on TV.

As these thoughts were passing through i reached the railway station. I sat on the bench.
The scene of Nidhi kissing the other guy was just rushing through my head.

" Bhaiya, please give me some money" Begged a little girl. I ignored the voice.

" Bhaiya, please give me some money" she said again.

I looked at her. She was like 5-6 year old girl. Her hair were very dirty. She had black spots all over her hand. She was wearing a white frock which had become muddy gray and had black spots all over the frock also, probably because she has been wearing this dress for a very long time. She had very big eyes. She had very eager eyes, like she was actually looking for something. There was dry stretch of the running nose over her lips just below the nose.

"Bhaiya, i have not eaten anything from two days" she said again. But this time her voice was cracking.

" Bhaiya, please give me some so that i can eat something, i am really hungry" Her voice cracked some more.

I looked at her. I looked at her eyes. Her eyes were filled with tears. I could not bear it. I stood up from my seat and went to the food vendor at the station. I brought some vada paav. Got it wrapped in a newspaper. I looked around the station to look for the girl. I could not find her.

As i was about to return those vada paav, i saw her drinking water from the water tap, probably to keep the hunger down she was drinking some water.

I called her and made her sit on the bench. I sat beside her. I gave the vada paavs wrapped in the paper to her. She opened the packet and started eating. I dont know how to describe that scene, She was eating those vada paav very fast, it was cute to see a 6 year old eat and it was sad to see that she has eaten something after two days. A look of content was already visible in her eyes.

" The local arriving on platform number 2 is a slow local to thane" was the announcement. I saw my train arriving on the train.

Suddenly i saw a crumbled newspaper being thrown on the floor. It was thrown by the girl. She had finished her meal.

"Happy? " i asked her.

She nodded in agreement with her mouth still filled with vada paav. I saw the train arriving on the platform.

Suddenly i felt two little arms around my neck and before i could react she kissed me on the cheek.

" Thank you bhaiya! " she said.

I felt a sudden calmness running through my body. I waved her good bye and boarded the train.

Living alone in Mumbai.

2008-01-24T23:24:00.000-08:00

Hi to all,

and yes i am back in the blogging world....( i hope everyone who commented on the blog is still alive and kicking cause i seriously need some comments for this post) .

I was just wondering how will the experience of living alone in Mumbai be like? I know i have given the full blown calculation of what it will cost but can anyone tell me what would living alone in Mumbai " FEEL " like?

There is one constraint, you should be a working man/women.

Let me paint you a picture.

Trrrrriiiiiiiiinnnnnn..... the alarm goes on.

You wake up.

You brush your teeth, look at the watch, if there is time for a bath you take a bath or just apply the deodorant and wear the office clothes and shoes and leave for the work.

While you go ahead and try and stop that auto rickshaw, who BTW should stop by law since he doesn't have a passenger, you look at your watch again.

You some how get the auto rickshaw, you reach station to find the locals are filled with the utmost capacity, you shrug your shoulder and try and board the train.

While you are traveling, you are not thinking about the getting to work..you think about the dirty clothes that you have to give to the cleaners, the bill for the newspaper subtracting the days that he has not come to deliver paper.

You hear the quarrel in the compartment but then again you dont bother...since ...you " Should not " bother.

You get down at your station you look at your watch despite the fact there is a big watch on the station. You try and cross the station and reach for the cab and then you reach the office.

Office over.

You are tired. Thousand things are running through your mind, and the funny thing about things running in the mind is that no matter how much you say they are not connected they are always connected.

why did the boss say that?

What did the landlord say yesterday?

It was humid yesterday? My shirt smell bad!

I will take a bath when i get to the home?

Local will be crowded like hell in this time.

Mumbai is a crowded city.

I have still to finish the novel Maximum city.

Oh yes the Maximum value of the function will give the correct value in the excel sheet.

I need to give the bed sheet for cleaning.

Mom gave that bedsheet when i came back from home.

I need to send some money back to my home.

Etc.

You try and try and try to board the train and then you do. You are still not thinking that your day is over, you think about your next day.

Some how you reach home.

The first question that comes to your mind..

Now what?

you slide in to your comfortables and then look at the watch its still 8:00 pm. You think lets call Mr. X , but then you remember that you talked to him day before yesterday. And you hate when he start his each sentence with " aur bata kya chal raha hai ? "

You flip through your phone book to see whom you can talk to...but then you think thats pathetic and too desperate.

You lie on your back and switch on the TV. Flip through the channels. click ...click...click...

your phone rings, " HOME" appears on the phone display. You put the remote down, you pick the phone and presses the red button for more than 3 seconds and the phone gets switched off.

You pick the remote again and flip through the channel...click ...click...click.

Trinnnnnnn.....the alarm goes on.

Mumbai account from a NY Times perspective.

2008-01-03T23:19:00.000-08:00

http://travel.nytimes.com/2007/09/23/travel/tmagazine/10well-mumbai-t.html

Bitter December.

2007-12-05T04:58:00.000-08:00

You might have heard the song sweet November, well i have my own version which is called bitter December.

December, the last month of the year, the month of beautiful snow and sweet carols, X-mas movies on cartoon network, and for people working in US based MNC's the month of bonus.

But for me december has always been a bitter experience, It has always brought the feeling of desperation, frustration, irritation and all other negative "-ation" you can think of.

You may think, what the hell am i talking about? Can I be more specific?

My answer would be no. I cant become specific and screw this day more than its already screwed.

They say dont live in the past.

Live in present.

But just answer me this what if you have december like mine what would you do?

Just for the sake of entry.

2007-12-04T23:31:00.001-08:00

Well, i haven't written anything for a long time. Thats apparent from the blog.

So this entry is basically just for the sake of an entry.

I will be coming up with something special as soon as i get something special to write upon and believe me it will be pretty soon.

What is the minimum amount of Rs. in which you can survive in Mumbai?

2007-09-18T02:38:00.000-07:00

What is the minimum amount in Rs. in which you can survive in Mumbai?

This was the question raised by one of my friends. After a little brainstorming, i arrived at the following results.

Neccasities:

Food:

Breakfast: It will cost around Rs 5.50. How? Well, a cutting chai will cost Rs. 3.00 add a 2.50 Rs Parle-G.

Lunch: 1-2 Vada paav. So it will cost around Rs. 9.00.

Tiffin: A cutting again, 3.00 Rs.

Dinner: I think this is the most important meal for a "survivor" so it has to be "good". Good here means you dont fall sick due to malnutrition. Because sickness will cost you more.

So in dinner, you order a thali. This will cost around Rs. 25.00 .

Sum Total ( for a day ) : 5.50+9.00+3.00+25.00 = 42.50

Sum Total (For a month) : 42.50 x 30= 1275

Travel:

We have an excellent BEST services, which is very cheap again. Lets put a constrain, that our survivor lives in Ghatkopar and has to go to Powai. So an up-down travel dail on BEST services will mount to 14.00 Rs.

Sum total ( for a day ) = 14.00

Sum Total (For a month) = 14.00 x 21 = 294

Or the survivor can make a bus pass so it will cost around= Rs. 150.00

Living:

The cheapest available option is to live in slum. But lets assume that the "survivor" choses to stay off the slum option and decides for next best option, which is chawls. As i understand living in a chawl on a rent basis will cost around Rs. 1200 a month. If the survivor can find room mates for himself then the cost would be reduced by 1200-(1200/( no. of room mates) ). But for our simple case lets assume that the "survivor" lives alone in the chawl. So the cost is Rs.1200.00.

Sum total per month: Rs 1200.

Not Neccassities:

Clothes and Self care:

Since the survivor is working somewhere it has to wear clean clothes. For 21 working days lets say he has 2 sets of formal clothes. He wears each for a span of 2 days. And in those 2 days he cleans the other set. So he will have to clean the formal set 11 times a month. Now a Rin/Surf excel detergent cake works for averagly 5 cleaning sessions. So he will have to buy 2 Rin/surf excel per month. The other cheap option is he can buy Nau lakkha soap, which comes in Kgs. One Kg Nau lakkha soap costs around 22-25 Rs and it will work for 5 months. So the average cost would be aroung Rs 5.00 per month. Lets take the average of the two and it will come around Rs. (10 (Rin) + Rs 5 (nau lakkha) )/2 = Rs. 7.50.

Similarly lets assume that he bathes on alternate days ( Because of the scarcity of water in chawls) and therefore uses a bathing soap. Which will cost Rs. 10 on an average. An average soaps works for 15 days/per man. That makes an even Rs 10 a month.

For nature calls he takes a piece from the Nau lakkha soap cake.

Hair cut, once in 2 months. Each session costs 20 Rs. So the average cost is Rs. 10 a month.

Shave, once in 8 days, each session costs Rs 5. ( Presumption: he has bought his own kit) so monthly it costs Rs. 15.

Sum total ( per month): = 7.50+10+10+15= Rs. 52.50

Communication:

Since the survivor lives in Mumbai alone. One can safely presume that his faimily is somewhere else. So in order to communicate to them he uses the " one india plan" and makes a STD call from a local phone. Lets assume that per session he talks for 5 mins and therefore it will cost around Rs 10.00 ( Remember that the pulse rate for one india plan is not 60 secs but 30 secs).
On an average he communicates 2 times a week that makes, 20 Rs per week or 80 Rs a month.

Sum Total: Rs 80.00

Others:

Buffer money,: In case he falls sick or any other situation= Rs. 500.00

Sum Total: Rs. 500.00

Grand Sum: 500+80+52.50+1200+150+1275 = Rs 3257.50

These are my calculations, and if you have anything else in your mind which i could fit in this calculation, Let me know.

hope i am right this time.

2007-09-16T07:06:00.000-07:00

life, as i know, for me has been quite bumpy ride as such.

But thats the thing i never wanted to get settled in life. Never.

The courage, that is required to take a new step now has taken a form of sand castle for me. I believe its strong but a little touch of suspicion just destroys the castle.

The craving to do extraordinary and fear of losing something that i " just " achieved is producing a strange mix of feeling inside me.

The heart makes the foot move and the brain causes it to tremble. The result is that it just stays wherever it is.

I just hope that this step that i have taken doesn't make me disbelieve myself more.

Blue Umbrella.

2007-08-29T02:38:00.000-07:00

This is the first movie review that i would be writing on the blog. And if you know me then you can imagine how much emotions are running through my body to write the review.

I am an avid fan of children cinema, for that matter i am big fan of fairy tales and children stories.

Blue Umbrella stands shoulder to shoulder with the movies like Chota Chetan, and the movie in which 1 Re comes out from the pocket of a coat ( if anyone knows the name of the movie please let me know), Stone boy ( there was this series on DD1). This movie is so CUTE that it will leave a smile on your face for, i don't know, an hour or two when you leave your seats at theater.

I dont know what to appraise? The great writer Ruskin Bond or the great director Vishal bhardwaaj. They say a movie can never compete with sensations a book gives to a reader but I think on this one i will measure Vishal bhardwaaj more than Mr. Ruskin bond. He has taken the short story, written by Mr. Bond and converted that to a beautiful beautiful movie.

I will not discuss the story because that would be a spoiler.

I was most impressed by the simplicity with which the director has told the story. He has taken a foreign story and has dipped it in desi chaas and feed it to the audience. Its his trade mark that he makes the story so authentic, so believable that it was originated from that village only, and the dialogues that are there are makes you feel that this is the story from the point of view of a small child.

I almost forgot to add the most important ingredient of the movie, Pankaj Kapoor. THAT MAN IS THE MOST BRILLIANT ACTOR I HAVE EVER SEEN. Whenever i watch him in different roles, unlike other actors which clearly indicates that they are acting, this man make you feel that he has been that character all his life. He has acted as a small time trader in the movie. There is one peculiar thing about Pankaj kapoor, in each of his movie he is bound to leave an impact on the audience. Next time whenever you are watching him in a movie notice that he has very less dia-logical impact and very much facial expression impact.

It was there in Omkara, Langda Tyagi and Vishal bhardwaj, it is there in the Blue Umbrella, Nandkishore and Vishal Bhardwaj.

In the end i would say this movie lefts you with a craving to watch more and more of this kind of cinema.

Things to do at your BTP/DDP/ office presentation.

2007-08-10T02:54:00.000-07:00

I found this over the net and must say this is really really funny, and i hope that anybody who reads it will find it enjoyable.

Things to do while you are giving a presentation:

1. "Ladies and Gentlemen, please rise for the singing of our
National Anthem..."

2. Charge Rs 50 a cup for coffee.

3. Have a bikini-clad model be in charge of changing the
overheads.

4. Describe parts of your presentation using interpretive dance.

5. "Musical accompaniment provided by..."

6. Stage your own death/suicide.

7. "Ladies and Gentlemen, as I dim the lights, please hold
hands and concentrate so that we may channel the spirit of Lord
Kelvin..."

8. Have bodyguards outside the room to "discourage" certain
professors from sitting in.

9. Group prayer.

10. Sell T-shirts to recoup the cost of copying, binding, etc.

11. "In protest of our government's systematic and brutal
opression of minorities..."

12. "Anybody else as drunk as I am?"

13. Smoke machines, dramatic lighting, pyrotechnics...

14. "Please phrase your question in the form of an answer..."

15. "And now, a word from our sponsor..."

16. The Emperor's New Slides ("only fools can't see the
writing...")

17. "I'd like to thank the Academy..."

18. Pass the collection basket.

19. Two-drink minimum.

20. Black tie only.

21. "Which reminds me of a story - A Black guy, a Chinese guy,
and a Jew walked into a bar..."

22. Incite a revolt.

23. Release a flock of doves.

24. Defense by proxy.

25. "And now a reading from the Book of Mormon..."

26. Leave Jehovah's Witness pamphlets scattered about.

27. "There will be a short quiz after my presentation..."

28. Bring your pet boa.

29. Tell ghost stories.

30. Halftime show.

31. Rent a billboard on the highway proclaiming "Thanks for
passing me Professors X,Y, and Z" - before your defense happens.

32. Simulate your experiment with a virtual reality system for
the spectators.

33. "I'm sorry Professor Smith, I didn't say 'Simon says any
questions?' You're out."

34. Flex and show off those massive pecs.

35. Hold a pre-defense pep rally, complete with cheerleaders,
pep band, and a bonfire.

36. Detonate a small nuclear device in the room or threaten
to.

37. Have everyone pose for a group photo.

38. Instant replay.

39. Laugh maniacally.

40. Talk with your mouth full.

41. Start speaking in tongues.

42. Spontaneously combust.

43. Answer every question with a question.

44. "Laugh, will you? Well, they laughed at Galileo, they
laughed at Einstein..."

45. Hand out 3-D glasses.

46. "I'm rubber, you're glue..."

47. "I don't know - I didn't write this."

48. Before your defense, build trapdoors underneath all the
seats.

49. Lock the department head and his secretary out of the
defense room. And the coffee lounge, the department office, the
copy room, and the mail room. Heck, lock them out of the building.
And refuse to sell them stamps.

50. Invite the homeless.

51. "I could answer that, but then I'd have to kill you."

52. Hide.

53. Get a friend to ask the first question. Draw a blank-
loaded gun and "shoot" him. Have him make a great scene of dying
(fake blood helps). Turn to the stunned audience and ask "any
other wise-cracks?"

54. Same as the last one, except use real bullets.

55. "Well, I saw it on the internet, so I figured it might be
a good idea..."

56. Wear clown makeup, a clown wig, clown shoes, and a clown
nose. And nothing else.

57. Use the words "marginalized", "empowerment",
and "patriarchy".

58. Play report Mad Libs.

59. Use both sides of your overhead transparencies.

60. Try to use normal printed paper on the overhead projector.

61. Do your entire defense operatically.

62. Invite your parents. Especially if they are fond of
fawning over you. ("We always knew he was such an intelligent
child")

63. Flash "APPLAUSE" and "LAUGHTER" signs.

64. Have cheerleaders.

65. "I say Hallelujah, brothers and sisters!"

66. Claim political asylum.

67. Traffic reports every 10 minutes on the 1's.

68. Introduce the "Eyewitness Team". Near the end of
your talk, cut to Jim with sports and Alison with the weather.

69. Live radio and TV coverage.

70. Hang a sign that says "Thank you for not asking questions"

71. Bring a microphone. Point it at the questioner, talk-show
style.

72. Use a TelePromTer

73. Refuse to answer questions unless they phrase the question
as a limerick.

74. Offer a toast.

75. Start giving your presentation 15 minutes early.

76. Play drinking thesis games. Drink for each overhead. Drink
for each question. Chug for each awkward pause. This goes for the
audience as well.

77. Swoop in with a cape and tights, Superman style.

78. "By the power of Greyskull..."

79. Stand on the table.

80. "You think this was bad? Let me read this list to
show you what I could have done

The Mumbaikar

2007-07-30T08:20:00.000-07:00

Nearly 2 Crore people live in mumbai.

Less than 20% are "rich". The question which bothers my mind is why do people keep flocking in the Mumbai?

I mean this is the city with very bad living conditions, very very bad roads, overly crowded public transport system, overly crowded streets, the whole city drowns at the first hint of rains, the city is always under the threat of Bhais, boasts of worlds biggest slum and its the city with ultra high cost of living.

Then why?

I got my answer in the most unimaginable condition.

The date: 27th july 2007.

As usual due to " Excessive" rain the trains got canceled. So the only option that i had, was to go by bus. I took a cab and reached the Worli depot. Now you would imagine that since its a depot, its the starting point of the bus there would not be many people there. True, if it were just another day. But today was not just another day. First i had to wait for a good 55 mins for the bus number 27 to Mulund. Then as soon as the bus came all the seats were filled in no time. I got a place to stand, "comfortably".

Luckily i got the "reserved for physically challenged" seat after one stop. I was kind of happy of getting the window seat in the rainy night. Travelling in a bus always makes my writer instincts go wild, and since it was a rainy night i loved the seat.

The bus reached dadar. I saw at least 100-150 people waiting for this bus only. And before it could come to a halt, people started getting in from both the gates. I am very sure that this normal bus, which has a capacity of 40 people at max, was filled with more than 120 people.

The reason was the same, No trains hence bus.

People were not only hanging from the gates but also from the window, which reminded me of the local transport system of rajasthan where people hang from gates, sits at the top and even they sit on the bonut of the car.

If you know about the seat i was sitting in, you must be knowing that its right next to the front door and unlike other coupled seat, its singular. So everyone was trying to cramp each and every space available near my feet, near my knees, they were hanging over my head. I could hear the driver shouting at the guy hanging at the door that he wont start the bus if the guy moves in so that the driver can see the rear view mirror, but the other guy, who by the way was getting wet in the rain but still hanging at the door with one hand, was unable to move because of the simple reason that there was no space at all inside the bus.

The inside of the bus was filled with extraordinary amount of humidity. People chattering in different languages. Cursing the govt. and the rain gods at the same time, shouting at the driver to start the bus.

I looked up and saw a middle aged man who was dripping out his sweat at me, but was trying hard not to make me "too" uncomfortable. Another man standing next to me was trying very hard so that he could stand properly. A school going kid was trying to pull out his bag. The whole atmosphere was filled with uneasiness and discomfort.

Unable to convince the man the driver started the bus and the bus moved ahead. As soon as the next stop came some one wanted to get down. It was an elderly man trying to curse in broken marathi to the guy standing next to him so that he should move ahead and he can get down. His broken marathi mixed with 3 pairs of lost teeth were actually making the curses very funny, which made the people standing at the front side of the bus, laugh.

Thats where it started. No one was cursing the govt or trying to get him/herself a better "standing" position, but instead were trying to enjoy his/her misery. Since the bus was totally filled, there were many people shouting at the driver not to stop at any stop so that other people might board the bus.

A guy, who was hanging at the rear door shouted, " Driver saab, make this a Mulund super fast" hearing this everyone started laughing. After 10 mins of drive some guy at back seat shouted " Ganapati bappa" and the whole bus went " Moraya" and as i lifted my face to see who it was, i could only see people smiling at each other.

Some one at the middle of the bus started "Antakhshri" and believe it or not half of the bus started singing along and i was also humming some of the tunes. The 2 hours of my journey just breezed, sang, and laughed away in no time.

Then i started understand what makes a Mumbaikar love the mumbai. Its because the Mumbaikar has embraced the problems, no, the challenges that are thrown by this city and still is able to squeeze out the fun from it.

Anything for you.

2007-07-13T11:37:00.000-07:00

"You are my proud" said the father
"You will help me raise the lamp" said the brother
"You are my idol" said the youngest
I listened and i smiled as
I bid my dreams adieu
and said "Anything for all of you".

I believed that i can conquer the world.
I believed when i will shout
"Who is the king" They will say its you
I believed that i would be famous chasing my dream
But everything squashed in one sentence
Anything for you.

In the darkest hour of night
I hold the cigarette to listen to my dreams
I wanted them to shout...
Take me to the top of the world to taste the morning dew
I wanted to hear
Anything for you

But the silence is what i hear
Silence dipped in fear
Fear of failing once more
Fear of closing this golden door

Unable to give an answer
The heart cries along with me
"Feel the content of papa,Smell the proud of Bhaiya
Look at her smiling face, Aren't you happy? " i inquired.
With the usual silence,"Anything for you" my heart said.

I am no Super man.

2007-06-28T06:21:00.000-07:00

How many of us had that feeling of having a super power...like that of superman, spiderman, batman, and shakti-man for that matter?

Let me tell you my fantasy. Once i was travelling ( again in my favorite local trains ) , the only super power i could think of was ability to transport me to wherever i wanted myself to be. That is like the hero of tele series "Heroes" Hiro nakamura.

In that series Hiro nakamura has the power to bend space time according to his will. He can stop time and bend space in order to appear anywhere he wanted. I personally think thats the greatest super power a man can have. Unlike super man where you have the power to fly and have that super duper strength, this is far more what a " common man" could ask for.

Just imagine the best moment you had in your life.

Was it the first word of appreciation from the class teacher?

Was it the Ist in the class ceremony?

Was it first kiss?

Was it the first sex?

Was it the time when you excelled beyond your expectations?

For me there are personally many moments which would appear in the unending list of " Moments i want to live again " . Not only that you can stop the time, so you can stop anything bad that is going to happen with you or to your friends and loved ones.

When i narrated the above things to one of my freinds that creep's answer was that he wished he could relive the Orgasm again and again.

Anyway, apart from reliving those glorious and cozy moments again again in my life i could have used that power at 9:30 am in the morning each working day. I would not have to deal with the unnecessary and unwanted Human closeness that is called 9:30 ki CST Bound Slow local.
Man!! that would be totally cool, at 1:00 pm ...i would go ...." Pufffff " Voila ...my room at my home Delhi, where mom would give me my favourite food, home made chicken and home made chapatis , ( Ofcourse since i would be at my home that would translate to as chicken and chapati ) and back at 2:00 i would reappear at my seat.

Or for that matter, when my boss would yell at me for me not meeting the deadline, i would just stop the time, do the work at my leisure , and "snap" i am back to the point where he started his yelling , i would just give the report and give him the in-your-face Smirk.

I know that would be very very low level use of such a great super power. I know if such a power was available to any of the Indian, none of our super heroes, Mahatma Gandhi, Netaji Subhash Chandra Bose, Bhagat singh would have died. The world wars would not have happened. There are 'n' number things that one could change and the world today would be a totally different place to live.

But that's what i said in the beginning this is the power of a common man, the ability to avoid travelling, the ability to spend more time with his faimily, the ability to impress his boss, the ability to do more and live your life to the fullest which otherwise is not possible in those freaking 24-Hours-a-day-time.

Curled up

2007-06-23T11:08:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered that whenever you are feeling lonely or depressed you pull your legs and bring your hands close to your body and curled your self up like a small baby.

Why do we do that?

My answer to that is that ...its because this was the position each and every one was in...for atleast 9 months, in our mothers womb. Unless you are a Test tube baby.

Because in our mother's womb we feel most secure and most safe and most comfortable..and we want to have that feeling again when we are lonely or depressed...but how much it really helps?

I cant say.

Answer me this:

Why does rain brings smile and happyness to some persons and a sadness to some?

Kya banoge munna? ( So, what you want to be? )

2007-06-16T10:53:00.000-07:00

This is an excerpt from my conversation with one of my very good friend from IIT. I asked him a simple question, Kya karma hai aagey life mein? ( What you want to do in your life ? ) I was so moved by his answers that I wanted to share with you all.

He said :

I am 22 year old.

A B.Tech from IIT.

Theoretically speaking I can conquer the world, and during the 4 years of my making as an IITian, I am molded to believe this.

But I am confused.

Confuse with what to do with my life?

I know every 22 year old boy/girl confronts this problem but you know in the case of IITian this is a totally different scenario. Many of us have a easy path to success on top of corporate ladder. But what if you don’t want to do that?

What if you want to do something different? And you are damn confuse about what that “different” thing is.

Each day you struggle with your mind and heart to arrive at some conclusion but each day you frustratingly go to sleep without any damn concrete decision.

Let me tell you how a human being decides his/her goals.

Each individual is a product of his environment. So in our (IITians) case 90% of IITian become IITian because their parents wanted them to be, because they see some IITian being praised by every one and wants to have that praise, or just because for the heck of clearing JEE.

So basically you “ Observe “ something and then try to implement that thing according to you.

What if you want to be something and can not directly observe in your environment or society or anywhere? That’s what I doing a different thing.

I was confused because I couldn’t observe anywhere in this world or society what I want to be? That’s where it hit me.

If what you are thinking is so easy you would have easily “ seen” it in some form or the other and like your old days you would have set your eyes on it and said “ yes that’s what I want to be or that’s what I want to have”

But since that thing is not there I can’t put my eyes on it and therefore I am confused.

Great Zombies of Mumbai…

2007-06-03T04:31:00.000-07:00

Now you would say…zombies in Mumbai?? Zombies means, people who are dead and alive at the same time and they eat the living people to stay alive and in the mean time people who are bitten by them become Zombies…right? Yes you are absolutely right!
A prelude to this story would be the story line of the movie Night of the living dead.
Now in this movie the protagonists are surrounded by the zombies of the city. The relevant part to my story is that they were organized. I mean organized to eat Living people. They attack together on living people to make them zombies, they never eat their own member. Yes I have purposefully bolded the line which are, again, relevant to this story.

But this story ( or should I say incident? ) is not about people eating people but its about the incident that occurred with me when I was coming back from office.

It was 9:30 pm, Friday.( I know in previous blogs I have written that I can come and go any time from my office, so why at 9:30? Even when I didn’t have any work to do ! My answer would be …no reasons ..aise hi)

I work in Worli and I need to come back to powai. So I needed to board a train from Parel station. People who have the knowledge of Mumbai suburban rail network know that Parel falls on the central line and if want to go powai, I should board the train from Parel it self. But on that unfortunate night I decided to board the train from Elphinston. Because it was Friday night and I thought I should explore the Mumbai rail network.

Now remember this…there are only two platform on the Elphinston station. On platform no. 1 trains are directed toward CST. How do I know that? Because I saw a train heading toward CST. Now using the little common sense that god unfortunately gifted me, I thought on the other platform the train will be going towards the inner side of Mumbai. So in order to “explore” I thought I would go to Borivali and then come back. ( Since I had the first class pass I can go anywhere I want in Mumbai on the local trains)

It was 9:45 and the train arrived pretty empty ( especially the first class). The board on the train said Viraar. I peacefully sat on the seat and put the bag over the shelf.

Now it was 9:47pm and the train arrived at Dadar.

Have you ever seen a shot in the movies when dam on the river breaks and water just gushes out from the broken dam with a huge force and fills the space around it with water only.

The same thing happened at Dadar.

The train was about to stop but the dam on the platform broke before the train could stop at the station. With a huge Patt, first man was able to board the compartment and without any further thoughts he straight away headed toward me and kept his bag over the shelf. Now within microseconds of this a lot of “patts” thumped the train floor and within microseconds of microseconds the train was filled with human heads , of course, they had feet and hands but when you see from seat you see only human heads. The train stops for 10-12 secs at dadar but the train was filled within 2 seconds and rest of the time I could hear voices of the people not able to board the train within 2 secs , shouting “ Pudey chalaa” meaning move ahead.

And the train moved ahead from Dadar.

As I am an engineer the people who forced me ( My Professors at IIT) to think like an engineer, have taught me a lot of things during the 4 years of study. I was calculating within this 30 feet by 7feet by 7 feet of first class compartment how many people can fit in. Now since 5 people are standing in front of me , two of which were standing on my feet, in an area of one square feet, how much oxygen would be available for me to breath? Since I have tried to force the two people standing on my feet to step aside by applying force F on them how much reaction force is being applied to me? Lets assume its F2 .

Clearly F2 > F for all time t. Therefore I should stop the futile effort and bear the pain.
As I was struggling hard to move my feet inch by inch so that they don’t sleep I observed that many people were sleeping while standing. I personally think that this was amazing. I mean if, during their sleep, they turn their head a little by angle θ where θ is very small ( darn those engineering instincts !) They could kiss the other guy!

Anyways, after 40 mins of this agonizing exploration I decided to get down at Borivili. As soon as I tried to pick the bag from the shelf, 5 people jumped to grab the seat I was sitting in. This time there was only F2 and no F so I fell on the window.

I gave them the angry look but none of them was a bit sorry for there act. Anyhow I grabbed my bag and decided to move toward the gate, as I was pushing my way out one of the standing-sleeping man woke up and asked “ what are you doing?”

I said “ I need to get down at borivili “

There were approx. 100 people inside that compartment and out of those 100, 70 people were awake by the word “ BORIVILI”

The man replied “ No body gets down at Borivili in this local”

“ And yea, do not ever say borivili when you board a train headed to Viraar” he continued.

20 people surrounding this man nodded their head in confirmation to his statement.

Borivili Station was approaching fast.

“ Why?” I asked.

Another man spoke ” To go to Borivili station there are many-many locals. But for Viraar there is only this one and the next one comes after half an hour. So as a unwritten rule no one will be allowed to get down at borivili and no will be allowed to board this train from Borivili”

Now I was feeling scared. 20 people surrounding me and smiling at me like a hunter who just caught a prey.

They came closer and said “ As a ritual of this train, who ever has boarded the train to get down at borivili, have to see the Viraar station. So you will get down at Viraar”

I was feeling like the sole alive person surrounded by zombies who are eager to make me zombie by not allowing me to get down at borivili but to their destination Viraar.

Train was slowing down to stop at borivili. I was looking at those smirks at those zombies and trying to think fast.

Suddenly the train came to halt. Unlike any other station I could hear the regular “ Pudhey chalaa” which meant the man was right and no one was allowed to board the train from Borivili station.

Suddenly I decided something. I started pushing the people on the other gate which opens at the railway tracks of the platform. I pushed hard and harder, and finally I jumped at the tracks instead of the platform of the station.

I quickly crossed the tracks and went to the other platform of the borivili station. As I looked toward the train filled with zombies headed to viraar, I saw that in the other classes they were just hanging out with one hand stuck at the door. They were sitting in between the compartments in the connecting joints of the two bogies. They sitting over the roof.

As the train snailed away from the platform, I swear I thought all of those 5000 or so people were looking at me and smiling and trying to say “ See you Next time! “

Mumbai's first rain :-)

2007-05-31T09:30:00.001-07:00

May 31, This day the rainy season in mumbai restarted and man ..it restarted not with a gentle knock on your door/window but with a kick on your door to force it open.

its 10:15 pm and it hasn't still stopped. I can hear the thunder of the clouds. They are scaring me and also i have a smile that if it rains with this much force in the morning i might not go to work :-).
Great thing at my work place is that your attendance is not that strict so you can come any time and ...wait ...it doesn't stop there ....you can LEAVE anytime :-) . So for me its simply ...AWESOME.

I was feeling tired when i left the office but a small drop of rain on my face took my tiredness away.The rain soaked gentle breeze gave me a smooth body massage. Little droplets of rain which come after the big drops thrash themselves against the wall touched my feet. And ya how can you neglect the sweet smell of the rain soaked earth. Whenever i smell this fragrance it brings back the sweet memories of my childhood. When i was 10 years old or so i used to smell this fragrance from the rain soaked roof of my house and i used to like this fragrance so much that i tried to eat the roof sometimes :-)

Who doesn't love the rain? Every body does. I think every one would love or would have loved to get wet in the rain. It gives you so much pleasure. But once you start working the whole concept of the " First Rain" changes. When you were young you would think of just running out of your house to get wet, but ur scared because your mom/dad will scold you. But when you start working this thought changes to " Shit the rains have started now how would i go to work...what would i do if i get wet?...there are no drier in the office ! How would i go like dressed as a wet dog in front of the client and give the presentation?"

I was thinking how would it be if you are allowed to work in the rain...wearing a rain coat and working over water proof computers. Man! i know that would make us to pee alot...but what the heck! i think that can be managed because it would be water everywhere !

Life is a sine wave.

2007-05-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

This has been , more often than not , the status message of my yahoo messenger for more than 2 years.

Many people have asked me about this. They have asked question like why a sine wave why not a cos wave? To which i have replied its sine wave coz cos is sin( theta + - 90).

And as usual their response was EP-ee-yappa. About which i will explain in my next blogs.

The point that i want to make is that not many people have asked me why "Life" is a sine wave?
My response to which would be take a whole day as a sample time and start the experiment.

Obsevables: Events that makes you happy or make you sad. Remember this that every other event can be represented as the linear combination of these two basic emotions.

so event which made you angry = a. ( Happy) + b. ( Sad) where a and b might not be a constant.

Now just plot these events using matlab ( you can use excel also ) or simply take a 2 Rs graph paper and a pencil and scale and plot the graph. You will see the graph as a sine wave. The amplitude and frequency may be different but the graph will be essentially a sine wave.

The reason behind this is that God never intended any one to be purely happy or purely sad. He made an "Imperfect world" and thus no day ....mark my word ( copy it in the word file and then select it and press Ctrl B and Ctrl U and if you wish Ctrl I ) ....No day will make you totally happy or totally sad.

The first post

2007-05-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking of creating a blog for ...god knows ...so long ...but i have been putting this off for various reasons ranging from ...availability of a good title.... to ...how can i write without the tea cup and the essential thing "cigarette" ...since its 4:00 am in the morning i wont get any...but finally i have done it and ...created the blog ...

The reason was to ventilate the extra terrestrial thoughts wandering in my brain ...calling their mothership's name ...which interestingly i did understand. So finally i made an airport called " Half cigarette " and allowed passports to those alien thoughts ...

Now they just need to line up in the long "Q" ..in order to head out and go to their home land.