Not A Significant Source...

The "Year in Review" post.

2009-12-31T11:40:00.000-05:00

With 2009 coming to a close, I thought I would "reflect." Because, you know, I like to do that occasionally. Get all reflective and stuff.

It helps me see all the good and wonderful things that have taken place over the past 365 days. All the prayers that have been answered. All the changes that have occurred. All the ways our children have (sniff, sniff) grown up and changed.

So, let's get reflective and have a look at 2009, shall we?

Answered Prayers:

1. The Oldest decided on a major that he can live with. He seems much happier with his choice now and is moving ahead with confidence.

2. Little Landen made it through his tummy surgery with flying colors. Landen is literally a living, breathing miracle. He wasn't supposed to make it off the operating table. He is now an eating, drinking, walking, babbling, smiling, climbing, fit-pitching, full-blown healthy one-year-old and as cute as ever! His mom doesn't bring his to Jiu Jitsu any more because well...Landen's just not content to sit quietly in her lap and chew his toes these days. And that's as it should be!

3. Landen's brother Seth flew to St. Louis for his spinal surgery in October. He's working on building up strength, but the spasticity in his legs is all but gone. He can walk around in his walker now and is even able to stand for a little bit all by himself! Terrific news!

4. I had my surgery, got my innards removed, and feel just great! Thank heaven for modern medicine, good doctors and the daVinci robot! Oh, and replacement hormones!

5. My cousin's wife, Jill, recovered nicely from her horrible bought with Swine Flu and resulting ICU stay with staph and pneumonia. She's doing much better and is expecting a healthy baby boy some time in February.

6. Dana delivered a lovely baby girl (a few weeks early,but healthy.) Little miss Cailynn is growing fast and just had her first Christmas. She has a lovely head full of hair, too! Her mama, though, is...

Still in Need of Prayer:

1. Dana is undergoing treatment for the cervical cancer that was found while she was still pregnant with Cailynn. Please continue to remember her and her family in your prayers.

2. My grandaddy, who is displaying more symptoms of Alzheimer's these last few months. His health is heading downhill.

Accomplished Goals:

1. Upon entering 2009 we were still the unhappy and disgruntled owners of a 2006 GMC Envoy that had given us nothing but trouble from the day we drove it off the lot. I swear it seemed as though we couldn't get rid of that thing. We did everything but put firecrackers in the gas tank! Including parking it under large dead trees during tornadoes! And taking a loss on it in the long run. I'm thrilled to report that we FINALLY got rid of the big gray lemon during '09 and are proud to be driving a fully-functioning Chevy Tahoe.

2. The Oldest did indeed find and keep a good job. Can I get a "Hallelujah" and an "Amen!" He's half way through his sophomore year of college, too.

3. The Pip Squeak has improved greatly in math this year. He's working on his own every day and rarely calls me for help. He's making A's most of the time! I'm proud of his hard work.

4. Lucy has calmed down a tiny, itty bitty bit. She will fall asleep in our laps now instead of gnawing on our legs. If only she would stop whining at the table every time we sit down for a meal.

In Progress:

1. We did take the twins out of public school. We have been homeschooling since August and have successfully completed the first semester of 6th grade! We love it so much that we're already planning for 7th. I don't foresee them going back to public school any time soon.

2. Ok so I still haven't really figured out any brilliant career path or anything. I mean, I do teach a couple of 6th graders, but as far as finding anything I'm dying to do with the rest of my life, well...it hasn't happened. Maybe it will in 2010.

Ain't Happened Yet:

1. Well, Darling Daughter doesn't have her license yet as of this post. However, she should very shortly, assuming she passes her first attempt at the driving test next month. Ugh! I'm so not ready for this.

2. I haven't managed to devise a method for forcing my Oldest to date only young ladies his father and I have chosen for their manners and ambition. He still thinks he should be able to pick girlfriends based on his own criteria. Whatever. I'm working on a brain-washing solution to mix with the sweet tea.

And Probably Never Will:

1. OK, I asked for a purple toilet for my birthday. Didn't get one. Will ask again this year. But I won't hold my breath. I realize they're somewhat difficult to come by, but it isn't like we're planning a trip out of the country this year, so the Hubby could certainly put some $$ towards making his wife happy. Right?? I think a purple potty would make a very interesting conversation piece...don't you? Whatever...I know we won't be talking to our guests while they're IN the bathroom, but they'll be pretty surprised when they come out, won't they??

2. Last year I mentioned (probably several times) that my grandparents don't need to be living on their own any more! It's no longer safe. Since Grandma's big fall last winter, there have been so many issues I don't care to count them. They won't have any assistance in their home and they don't want to go to any type of assisted-living arrangement, either. They want to stay where they are until they fall over in the floor and can't help each other back up. And then I guess they'll lay there and starve. I've fussed and argued and coerced and begged. I have only my sister on my side. I've pretty much given up on it. I'll just continue to go out there every few days with food and take them to their doctor's appointments and when I drive up and see buzzards circling the house, I'll call the funeral home.

All in all, 2009 was a good year. Praying that 2010 will be even better...and go by a little slower!
Because THIS will be the year my oldest baby turns twenty...and my BABIES will become teenagers.

Deep Breath.

The Dingbat Diaries, Christmas Edition

2009-12-30T05:00:00.000-05:00

Our daughter is forever coining her own brand new words when those that already exist in the English language just don't seem to cut it.

Darling Daughter received lots of new make-up from Santa, including a new kind of mascara that's supposed to be especially for one's specific eye color. She got the sapphire kind for blue eyes. It really does do a great job of bringing out her eyes. She seemed pleased with the color and water-proof factors, but when I asked her if she thought she'd buy it next time she said no.

Because it doesn't "longigate" her eyelashes like she hoped it would. She still has to curl them.

"Longigate." Pronounce that "long" part like in "longitude" in order to achieve the full effect.

I looked it up in the online dictionary. It isn't there. Yet.

Red Velvet/White Chocolate Cheesecake

2009-12-29T05:00:00.000-05:00

My little experiment at making a replica of The Cheesecake Factory's delectable dessert turned out quite yummy if I do say so myself! The cheesecake was wonderful, the red velvet layers were moist and the icing was just rich enough to blend it all together perfectly! In fact, my sister asked me to make one for her birthday...which just happens to be the day after Christmas...but there wasn't time so she had to settle for Holy Cow Cake instead.

If you plan to try it out, just be sure to give yourself enough time to get it all done. The cheesecake has to stay in the oven AFTER it's finished baking and then transfer to the fridge overnight so it can "settle" and rest and blend its flavors together. Or whatever it is that cheesecakes are supposed to do. This obviously isn't a dessert you'll be flinging together on the spur of the moment, but it will definitely knock the socks off of your friends. It's really pretty, too. (Keeping in mind that I'm not a food photographer, my sister took this pic and please excuse the bottle of water and package of Snickerdoodle coffee.)

Red Velvet/White Chocolate Cheesecake

Cheesecake:

1 1/2 lbs cream cheese (three 8 oz packages)
1 1/3 cups sugar
5 eggs
8 oz. sour cream
1/4 cup plain flour
2 tsp. vanilla
2 tsp. lemon juice
1/3 cup white chocolate chips

1. Prepare springform pan by buttering. Preheat oven to 350. Allow all ingredients to come to room temperature (including the eggs for red velvet cake and the ingredients for the icing.)
2. In a regular mixing bowl, beat cream cheese on low speed until fluffy.
3. Add sugar, a little at a time, beating well on low speed in between. Don't forget to scrape down the sides of the bowl.
4. Add eggs, one at a time, beating well on low speed in between.
5. Add remaining ingredients and mix well (on low speed, of course.)
6. Melt white chocolate chips in microwave, stir well, and then pour into mixture. Mix well.

Pour into springform pan and bake for 1 hour 15 minutes. After baking, turn oven off, open door and let cheesecake rest for 1 hour. Then put into fridge and let it set for several hours or overnight if possible.

Red Velvet:

2 1/2 cups sifted cake flour
2 tbsp. unsweetened cocoa powder
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
2 large eggs (at room temperature)
1/2 tsp. red gel paste food coloring (or one bottle red food coloring)
1 tsp. vanilla
1 cup buttermilk
1 1/2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. white vinegar

Preheat oven to 350. Grease and flour two round (8 or 9 in) cake pans.

1. In regular mixing bowl, sift together flour, sugar, cocoa and salt.
2. In separate bowl, whisk together all wet ingredients until well combined.
3. Add dry ingredients, a little at a time, beating on medium speed until well blended.
4. Pour into two prepared cake pans (evenly) and bake 25-30 minutes.
5. Remove from oven and cool on rack.
6. If your cakes are rounded on top, you will need to carefully level the tops with a cake leveler or sharp knife so that they layers will go together nicely.

Icing:

1 stick margarine
1 eight oz. package cream cheese
1 twelve oz. container of whipped topping (I used Cool Whip)
1 tsp. vanilla
1/3 cup white chocolate chips, melted
1/2 cup sugar

1. All ingredients should be at room temperature before beginning.
2. Beat cream cheese and margarine together until smooth and creamy.
3. Add whipped topping and combine well.
4. Add remaining ingredients and mix well.
5. Refrigerate until ready to put cake together.

Putting it all together:

1. Carefully remove cheesecake from springform pan. If necessary, using a sharp knife, trim the "rind" from top edges so it will fit nicely into layers.
2. Ice the top of the first layer of red velvet cake.
3. Place cheesecake on top of first red velvet layer and add a little icing.
4. Place second red velvet layer on top of cheesecake layer.
5. Ice the cake VERY carefully. You don't want to get the icing all crumby...it won't make for a pretty cake.
6. After icing, sprinkle white chocolate chips over top. Or you could make white chocolate curls if you want. Make it really pretty! It's going to look great when you cut a slice!

This cake was a lot of work, but it was WORTH IT! I will either make it once a year for Christmas or...or let people order it and charge them a fortune! :) Just kidding.

I think.

And another thing...

2009-12-28T05:00:00.000-05:00

Whatever happened to personal responsibilty? Whatever happened to common sense??

Yesterday I fussed about schools banning ice creams, chocolate milk and Rice Krispie treats. Today I'd like to discuss the dwindling intelligence and common sense in our society.

I'm talking about the fact that every stinking item you purchase has a stupid warning label stuck on it these day. And the warnings? They warn you of things no human with half a functioning brain cell would have thought up in the first place.

For instance: My daughter received a stress ball in her stocking from Santa. It looks like this:

Except is has a cute little smiley face on it instead of the Canon logo. The box in which it came bears the stern warning:

"Do not place in microwave oven. Do not freeze."

The tiny plastic bag that the actual stress ball was wrapped in inside the box admonishes:

"This bag is not a toy!"

Well, darn. Darling Daughter was heartbroken to realize that she had not only had she NOT been given a plastic-bag-toy for Christmas, but she was going to be prevented from microwaving her new toy. Why bother HAVING Christmas if you can't nuke your gifts??

(Considering the country in which the stress ball was manufactured, a better warning might have been: "Stay away from this thing. It's full of lead and melamine!")

These ridiculous warnings made me dig further. I started looking at the labels on the other Christmas junk. Pip Squeak was given a set of Perfect Push-Up thingies.

My miniature body-builder was so excited to have another way to pump up his little biceps and shoulders. Unfortunately, I cannot allow him try out the Perfect Pushups. The instructions caution:

"Sport training can result in serious or fatal injury!" and also "Do not excerise without first consulting your physician."

Well now. Clearly I wouldn't be practicing good-mothership if I let my twelve year old use his own arms to push his own body weight off the floor. I mean...what if he fell?? Onto the floor?? From six inches up?? He might bump his chin. It could be FATAL! Says so right there on the insert.

Also...our pediatrician won't be in until Monday, so I can't ask her if she thinks it will be OK.

The funny thing is, the BBQ tools that my hubby received don't warn of anything except not putting them in the dishwasher. Skewers, knives and long stabby forks? How about "Don't run while carrying?" or "Not for use in baby cribs and play pens."

The Samurai Swords that the Oldest gave our twins? Nothing. Nada. No dire predictions of doom or reminders not to stab your brother in the belly. Ahh...but luckily my daughter's new pink zebra print hair dryer makes it clear that she should "Never use while sleeping or bathing."

Remind me where we live again?

2009-12-26T11:00:00.000-05:00

My sister's kids attend public school. In Georgia. The state of Georgia, that is. Not the small country of Georgia that's over there next to Turkey and Russia.

The Georgia that's famous for peaches, pecans, pine trees, peanuts, red clay, Gone with the Wind, James Brown, Ray Charles, Atlanta, Savannah, CNN, TBS, Braves, Falcons, Bulldogs, The Coca Cola museum, Paula Deen and Smokey and the Bandit. That Georgia.

Not the Georgia that was once a part of the Soviet Union. Not that Georgia.

So why does the school staff monitor what the children bring in their lunch boxes? Why do they ban cupcakes and other sweet treats from class parties? Since when do the teachers and administrators get to decide what's appropriate lunchbox fodder? They've cut class parties down to twice a year, as well. Although, with nothing but pre-packaged carrots, bottled water, and treat bags full of pencils allowed, I'm not sure the kids will miss them.

Apparently the school system in my sister's county has decided that such drastic measures are necessary in order to combat childhood obesity.

Because clearly, kids are in grave danger of becoming fat from eating a cupcake with sprinkles twice a year.

Obviously obesity has nothing to do with what the munchkins are fed at home. Perhaps the problem lies in WHERE the child consumes the cookies...not in how many the child consumes? Eating sweets at school equals more calories? I don't think so. If you want a clue as to where most unhealthy eating habits are learned, take a peak at mom and dad.

When I was in school, the pickings were slim in the cafeteria lunch line. On Fridays we were served an appetizing bright red hot dog (mmm...nitrates!) on a soggy bun with a side of cole slaw. And room temperature chocolate milk. Yummy! On Wednesdays we got PIZZA! Square pizza. Limp, flavorless square pizza with a spoonful of creamed corn leaking onto it and a dried out peanut butter cookie. Sometimes, we got to bring our lunchbox with a bologna sandwich (mmm...more nitrates...and some extra sodium!) a miniature bag of Cheetos, and a Snack Pack pudding in a little metal can. Every once in a while we lucked out a got a thermos full of ravioli cooked by Chef-Boyardee!

In all my years of school no teacher ever got up, walked over to our table and peeked into our lunch boxes to ensure that we were eating nutritious meals. Moms sent cupcakes and bags full of treats for class parties and birthdays. Occasionally, somebody's mom went hog-wild and brought McDonald's or Pizza Hut for the entire class.

Do you know that there was one overweight kid in my elementary school? In all of my years at school. Only one.

Maybe this was because we were sent outside for thirty minutes of recess twice a day? Maybe it was because our mothers kicked us out the back door after school and refused to let us back in until dinner time? Maybe it was because we rode our bikes and walked to our friends' houses and played int he park? Maybe it was because we had somewhat healthy meals for dinner and breakfast at home? Maybe our moms knew some secret that kept us slim and fit? Yes, that must be it! Sneak-operatives to force kids to eat less. At my house, Mom made her famous Shake & Bake pork chops at least once a week and my sister and I would refuse to eat at all!

I had written this post a couple of weeks ago and then sat on it. Until this morning. When I came across THIS article. Banning chocolate milk? In the words of Buford T. Justice: "...that's nothing but pure and simple old-fashioned communism."

The Night Before Christmas

2009-12-23T13:18:00.003-05:00

Empty manger, perfect stranger,
About to be born.
Into darkness, sadness, desperate madness,
Creation so torn.
We were so lost on earth, no peace, no worth,
No way to escape.
In fear, no faith, no hope, no grace ,and no light,
But that was the night before Christmas.

Warm hay, cold sweat, a mother, not yet,
Praying godspeed the dawn.
She looks to her man, holding her hand,
They wonder how long.
And the shepherds, wise men come to find them,
And bow to a king.
One star above shining on love, so bright,
It lit up the night before Christmas.

And the world didnt know mercy was meek and so mild.
And the world didnt know that truth was as pure as a child.
The night before Christmas.
The night before Christmas.

And the world didnt know, redemption was sweet and so strong.
And the world didnt know salvation was writing a song.
The night before christmas.
The night before christmas.
The night before christmas.
Empty manger, perfect stranger, about to be born.

Praying that your Christmas is blessed with what matters most...

~The Source~

Red Velvet What?

2009-12-22T13:58:00.004-05:00

It smells like heaven in here this afternoon!

I'm attempting to put together something remotely resembling a Cheesecake Factory "Stefanie's Ultimate Red Velvet Cheesecake." If you're unfamiliar with that delectable dessert...well...here...feast your eyes upon this:

Now. Don't go expecting MY version to half as beautiful, because it won't. It might taste somewhat decent, though, which is basically what I'm aiming for.

I figure since it has the "Stefanie" part in the name and MY name is "Stephanie" which sounds the same but is spelled slightly different that sort of like fate telling me I can do this.

Right?

Well, maybe so and maybe no. I'm hoping so.

See, my grandma had a slice of the REAL THING ans she really, really liked it. My aunt brought it to her all the way from The Cheesecake Factory restaurant in North Carolina. Yes, only one slice. Because it's like ten dollars a slice. And my aunt's cheap. (Well, maybe not cheap, but frugal?? Hi Auntie Dear!) Also she wasn't sure if it was going to taste good (HELLO....Cheesecake Factory!???) So she didn't spend the money to buy a whole cheesecake. Just ONE. Measly. Slice.

I'm guessing she bought a whole one on her way back home to NC and kept it for herself.

Anyway, Grandma's been keeping her slice in the fridge and giving out teeny tiny bites to visitors. Yesterday she let Darling Daughter and I have a precious little smidgen. Then she snatched it away and stuck it back into the depths of the abyss that is her refrigerator.

And then...then she told me that she only let me taste it because she wants me to go home and figure out how to make her one. I love you, too, Grandma.

The reason she needs me to make her one is because first of all she would never dream of paying the fifty dollars it would cost to buy one, and secondly no one is heading up that way any time soon and third...she thinks my aunt was allowed to buy that slice straight from the FACTORY because her husband is a Colonel and she has some kind of special top secret cheesecake connections. You know. Area 51 cheesecake-making...at the factory. She doesn't understand the concept of the restaurant being NAMED The Cheesecake Factory.

Well, she's in her eighties, y'all. I'm not gonna try explaining it to her.

So, after getting Grandaddy settled back into his comfy blue-snow-flake housecoat with his remote control and his candy cane (for being a good boy at the doctor's office while Grandma got her shot) Darling Daughter and I headed to the store and bought a few tons of cream cheese, sugar, and such. So now...

My house smells yummy! There's a delicious-looking cheesecake cooling in my oven.

Which reminds me...wonder why the directions say to let it cool in the oven for an hour?? Because they don't day whether to turn the oven OFF or not. Just "open the oven door and let it stand for an hour before removing." Does that mean WITH the oven on?? Wouldn't that just make the oven cycle on for an hour and heat my kitchen up?? I turned it off. Nothing's exploded yet, but I have caught myself telling the dog to get away from the oven cause it's hot. She acts like she understands me. More than Grandma does, anyway.

We'll see what happens.

I'll take photos of the finished product if it looks ANYthing like it's supposed to. And if my oldest child returns home from Myrtle Beach tonight with my camera cord in his suitcase.

It's almost Christmas!!

T'was the Saturday Before Christmas

2009-12-19T05:00:00.000-05:00

My sister is whining because I haven't posted in a few days, and she's bored.

Like I haven't had anything else to do around here this week...what with Santa Claus coming in five more days, presents to be bought, cookies to be made, new recipes to try, Christmas parties to attend, Darling Daughter out of school and into driver's ed, the twins taking semester tests.

Yes, that's right, I'm making the boys take "exams" to see what they remember from the first 18 weeks of school. Just because I can. And also because I like seeing them run around with looks of panic on their faces! It's priceless.

So anyway, what should I write about today? Let me think of what's new around here that I need to share...(how's that for a sentence??)

I entertained my sister's littlest boy (Mini Monkey) on Thursday. We had a blast, but whew...that child wore me out. Obviously, God had His reasons for giving me all four of my children BEFORE I entered my thirties.

That reason is because I'm too old and decrepit to keep up with little ones now.

He was only here for four hours...and I needed a good long nap!

We unwrapped a bag full of Hershey's kisses, made three dozen cookies, squished the kisses on tops of the cookies, played with play-doh, cars and crayons, threw tennis balls for Lucy the Demon Dog, read a story and then went for a walk in the woods. On our walk we searched for lions. (Because they leave lion poop, you know. You want to be extra careful when walking in the woods in South Carolina just in case you find lion poop...you never know when a lion will jump out from behind a pine tree and gobble you up!) We filled our pockets full of acorns and baby pinecones, we stomped on mushrooms, we looked for a tiny Christmas tree, we found some deer tracks, huge leaves, slugs and moss. Then we came back to the house and drew faces on all of our acorns. We made a whole acorn family!

We had fun!

No one who actually lives here ever wants to play with play-doh any more.

Yesterday I made the twins take a dreaded SCIENCE EXAM! Oh yes, I did. They studied all week to prepare for it. Then they sat at the kitchen table and moaned, groaned, whined, complained and griped over every single question. It was FUN!

They'll be finishing it up at some point today.

It was eight pages long.

I just enjoy torturing them!

Not really...they do know all of the information on the test, but the fact that I called it an "exam" blew their minds. I just wanted to give them that experience. We should all be freaked out over a major test at least once in our lives...right? I figure they won't get this anxious again until either their driving test or their SAT's.

My husband is currently in the kitchen pitching all sorts of fits because the desk top computer (the kids' computer) is malfunctioning. It's all locked up and whenever he tries to fix it, it just goes berserk. Which means that he has to get on the phone and speak to a customer service support person.

Which he REALLY doesn't like doing.

Because first of all, you never get an actual human right off the bat.

And when you do, they usually aren't much help.

Or they live 30,000 miles away and don't speak any Earth-Human-Language.

Or so he says.

Needless to say, he's in a lovely Christmas-Spirit-Filled mood this morning!

I'm off to find a hammer to smack him with.

And then to the Sunday School Christmas Party this evening, where my husband can repent for shouting foul language at a piece of metal and plastic.

Name That Christmas movie!

2009-12-15T09:06:00.005-05:00

Check out the quotes and see if you can guess which Christmas movie they belong to.

I'll have to think up a prize for the first person to get them all right.

How about an exclusive "silver bell ornament" for your tree??

Or not.

Guess anyway. Have fun.

Answers Friday.

"If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am right now."

"Get me. I'm givin' out wings."

"Bless this highly nutritious microwavable macaroni and cheese dinner and the people who sold it on sale. Amen."

" I just like to smile, smiling's my favorite!"

"I never eat December snowflakes. I always wait until January."

"...stay away from those things. They're reindeer, you don't know where they've been. They all look like they've got key lime disease."

"It came without ribbons! It came without tags! It came without packages, boxes, or bags!"

"Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man."

"The boss hands you the envelope. You wonder how much is in it, and you don't want to open it. As long as the envelope's closed, you're a millionaire."

"If you had any sense, you'd give it up as a bad job and stay home in bed this year....wouldn't surprise me none if nobody even believed in you anymore."

Toys Guaranteed to Drive Parents Batty

2009-12-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

Alrighty then.

At the end of November I shared with you my Super Spectacular Happy Holiday Gift Guide.

I'm sure you recall that it was chocked full of ideas that your family and friends are sure to love.

Then, last week I shared some excellent Christmas websites where you can do such things as track Santa's journey on Christmas Eve or have some Santa paraphernalia sent to your house so that you can pull a fast one on your kids.

And now we're only about ten days away from Christmas, so I thought I'd share one of my favorite parts of this holiday season.

It's called:

Finding That Perfectly Annoying Gift for Kids That Aren't Yours!

What?

You don't search high and low for particularly unpleasant presents to give to the offspring of your most despised relations? You just don't know how to have fun.

Every family has one or two members that deserve to be driven insane during the holidays. An exceptionally irritating cousin, brother-in-law or step-sibling who gets on your nerves so much that you secretly want to find a way to make them absolutely miserable!

While still appearing to be the kind-hearted relative that's filled with Christmas Spirit, of course.

You mean you don't have those kinds of people in your family?

Sure you do. You just don't want to admit it.

For those of you who embrace the madness, I offer the following concepts in gifting...which appear innocent, colorful and fun, but are bound to drive parents somewhat mad.

1. The inexpensive little plastic gun. If you have nephews on your list, this is a must-have. Especially if the nephews belong to the irritating relative! You can pick one of these babies up in the dollar store for almost nothing. The ear-piercing noises emitted from this toy firearm are horrendous!

Added bonus: If your relative is against letting Junior play with "violent" toys, this tiny weapon will aggravate them even more.

2. The Sit & Spin
Also known as the Whirly Twirly Make 'Em Hurly! With this colorful toy, your kin-folks will be fooled into thinking that you've gifted their tiny tot with a toy designed to enhance their motor skills and provide hours of vestibular stimulation. Little do unsuspecting first-time parents know that their 5 year old may very well spin himself into a tizzy and projectile vomit all over the family room.

3. Gnip Gnop. The name says it all, doesn't it? Well, not really. I mean, what IS a Gnip Gnop anyway? Sure, it looks and sounds perfectly benign...while it's IN THE BOX. Take it out, hand it to the kids, and it becomes an Instant Migraine! Make sure to stash a bottle of Ibuprofen in the package!

4. Kissing Barbie. You're going to have to look this one up on eBay. They're probably in limited supply these days. After all this is a doll my sister and I loved way back in the 70's. Or maybe the early 80's. It's worth the time and effort in finding one, though, if you happen to be buying it for a little girl with brothers! She'll have endless hours of fun tormenting the boys with sticky, gooey plastic Barbie smooches! Or, she can make Barbie smooch her reddish gloss all over her own little hands and legs so her mother will think she's been attacked by rogue mosquitoes. Either way, loads of delight for the little girl in your life.

5. The Tuneyville Choo-Choo. I know they still made these in the 90's. Because my kid had one. Probably V-Tech has invented something even more obnoxious by now, but for sheer and utter mind-numbing repetition of tooty-steam-whistle shrieks, this train takes the gold star! It chugs along on hard surfaces with a cacophony of acoustics that will have Mommy and Daddy slamming their heads in the cabinet doors in no time!

5. The Popcorn Popper

We actually HID this thing from our oldest child when he was a baby. All it took was about three days straight of incessant pop-pop-popping around our apartment. I can attest to the fact that it WILL annihilate what's left of your brain cells. Give it to the family member who has the two-year-old most prone to tantrums! They'll never forget you for it! Trust me.

Feel free to add your favorite nerve-wracking toys to the list! I'm always up for new ideas.

Early Christmas Present!

2009-12-11T09:20:00.002-05:00

Look who earned her letter jacket!

Lucky for her it was actually freezing this morning.

Normally the weather wouldn't be cold enough to wear that more than about 10 times a year.

She's been wanting this since she was about 5 years old!

Congratulations, Darling Daughter!

We're proud of you.

THIS is my BEST Christmas post EVER....

2009-12-08T21:50:00.014-05:00

So, tell me...

Do you have a Santa Skeptic in your house?

Have your children decided that mom and dad are full of it, and Santa's probably not real?

Has some rotten kid at school spilled the Santa beans?

Want to blow their minds and scam the little suckers for another year or two?

Go to Capture the Magic and chose a scenario from YOUR home...then photograph it and upload to their site. In no time, they'll send you a picture of Santa "busted", caught in the act of placing your child's presents under YOUR tree or talking to the family dog.

The pictures come in a file over the internet.

You can print them at home or send them to Walgreens and have them done.

Here's Santa getting ready to unpack some loot and place it under OUR tree last year.

Another amazing site is ummm...well I think it's called I Believe. Anyway, check it out. You can order a kit with stencils to make Santa's bootprints (although, personally I have found that Dad's workboots and some crushed ice are more than adequate.) You can have Santa place a magical phone call to your child (Again, if you're into saving a buck or two, you can always have Grandpa call the kid and "Ho Ho Ho" at him...with the added advantage that you can tell Gramps to warn Junior he'd better stop hitting his sister and clean his room or else he won't find an iPod touch in his stocking this year!) Also, you can order a Thank You note from Santa to leave for your little one to find Christmas morning. (Mine have been amazed in years past at how closely Santa's handwriting resembles Mom's. Until I started writing left-handed. And then they wondered if Santa'd been nipping at the spiked eggnog.) Moving right along...

This is our tree THIS year. Taller. A little whop-sided. Beautiful. No presents yet. With a red-neck-rigged star on top. Well, the star we've had for the past 19 years or so finally bit the dust and so we had to go pick out a new one at Wal-Mart. Only the new one's plastic cone-shaped thing that holds it on the tree was not large enough to fit down over the humongous over-sized branch on top of the tree. So the Hubby tie-wrapped it in place. Yep. Lovely. And NO I'm not taking photos of it. And I'm not letting anyone but family close enough to SEE it either!

Did you know you can track Santa's journey on Christmas Eve by clicking on NORAD tracks Santa? I find it's especially useful to pull up this site at about 11:30 on December 24th when the children are bouncing off the walls with anticipation of the Big Red Guy's visit and they won't "GO TO BED ALREADY!" All I have to do is show them the evidence that Santa's hovering over our fair city and they high-tail it to their beds and don't open their eyes again till, oh, 4 AM at least.

See this attractive silver bell ornament? It's one of my faves. My sister made it for me with her own two hands. Isn't she sweet? If you're in need of a quick and easy gift idea, but don't have a lot to spend, I highly recommend you make some of these. They're quite economical. All you need is some silver spray paint and a box of tampons! You can also make angels out of them. Dampen the cottony part with just a bit of water so it fans out some. Flick some glitter on it. Add some wings and a doll head from the craft store. Tie a bow around its neck. And there's ALREADY a hangy tie string attached!! You're welcome for the wonderful idea!

I'm not sure where this came from. Or who put it on my tree. I suspect it was my older twin. He's sneaky like that. This weird Spongebob thing sort of creeps me out. Actually, Spongebob just creeps me out. I hate the way he laughs.

My grandma made this. She embroidered and crocheted. Or maybe she knitted. She made us all afghans, what is that knitting or crocheting? She made me some of these for Christmas after I got married. She also made blankets for all of my babies. I think of her when I put these ornaments on my tree, and I think of her silver aluminum tree with the rotating colored wheel. And how she loved to shop on QVC for stuff in her last few years. I don't know why I think of that, but I do.

The Force is with me....always! If anyone in my FAMILY is reading (hellooooo I know you are) and wants to know what to get me for Christmas...I want Yoda Christmas lights from Target, and hurry up because there aren't many left!! Only don't get them for the gift-swap thing at mama's because I might not end up with them and then I'd have to hurt someone on Christmas Eve and that would just be a shame!

So let's review, shall we...a string of YODA lights, Christmas aisle at Target, very back row, NOT for gift-exchange but just for ME!

Look! Demon Dog is behaving! When she's not drinking the water out of the tree stand. Or licking the ornaments. Or trying to chew her stocking down. She's kind of cute when she's good.
Did I mention I bought her a new dress for Christmas? It says "Bah Humbug" on the back.

I'm not a licensed decorator (obviously!!) but I do know this: Every home needs a purple Christmas tree. Because purple is my favorite color and it makes me happy. Yes, it's on a hope chest in my foyer. So what? I'm sitting here, looking at this picture and trying to figure out why there's a star in the bottom right corner of that frame on the right. Cause it's not there in real life. Seriously. It's freaking me out more than the Spongebob ornament.

A MAJOR AWARD

2009-12-06T08:28:00.007-05:00

Remember A Christmas Story?

The movie that's narrated by Ralphie, the boy who wants a Red Rider BB gun for Christmas?

Everyone keeps telling poor Ralphie "You'll shoot your eye out, kid!"

The neighbor's dogs eat the Christmas turkey.

Ralphie blurts out an expletive, gets his mouth washed out with soap, and receives a really horrible pink bunny suit for Christmas.

Some dumb kid at school freezes his tongue to the flagpole.

And Ralphie's dad wins a Major Award, which turns out to be a hideous lamp shaped like a woman's leg in fishnet hose?

I love that movie!

Because it mirrors Actual Real Life around here at the Source household.

You know, because my twins think that everything on earth should be shot with a BB gun at least once.

And because each of my boys has blurted out some forbidden word at the opportune moment.

And because I myself have gotten some pretty hideous outfits for Christmas...

although, sadly, no pink bunny suits.

And because my husband probably froze his tongue to something on a dare when he was little.

I'm almost sure of it. He's just stubborn like that.

And because this year, our Oldest has won....

A MAJOR AWARD!

Why, yes, that IS caution tape wrapped around his neck.

With a sprinkler head dangling from it.

You might ask, "What award did he win?"

"What momentous event was marked by this dubious honor?"

Ahem.

Our Oldest Child (along with his fellow firefighter/buddy/partner in crime) was bestowed the very first:

"Worst Case of Horseplay in the Station. Ever."

An award created especially for them.

Why?

Well, it has to do with air rifles, plastic pellets, fire sprinkler heads, middle-of-the-night mayhem, flooding, drenched mattresses, wet carpet, wet walls, wet people and restitution.

Think you can figure it out?

I never dreamed of such achievement in my young man. When he was just a tiny boy and I thought of all the possibilities the world held for my sweet, precious child, this was not something I ever dared to hope he would accomplish. And yet, here we are, mere weeks before his twentieth birthday and already, A MAJOR AWARD!

Ugh.

I'm SUCH a proud, proud Mommy.

This kid is speshull!

2009-12-05T06:40:00.001-05:00

My sister has three boys.

All three of them have gorgeous brown eyes.

All three of them like to climb the walls and leap from things and are generally ALL BOY.

All three of them are rotten little monkeys.

There's the oldest one, who's eleven years old...I think I'll call him Melodramatic Monkey.

(His mother will know why.)

Then there's the six year old. I've mentioned him before. His name is Monkey in the Middle.

The tiniest one, who's sweet little face you see below, shall be known as Mini Monkey.

I'm petitioning my sister to let me have the Mini Monkey.

She always tells me, "You can have him! Come and get him!"

But she never really means it! I know she'd let me drive all the way over there, and have him for a few hours, and then she would make me bring him back!

It's very unfair.

Because I don't have any snuggly three-year old-people of my own any more.

And because he's potty trained now.

And because I don't have any brown-eyed children.

Nope, not a one.

(Two blue and two green, but no brown.)
And well...because he has the cutest little voice and he messes up his R's sort of like Elmer Fudd, and it's too sweet.

His weal name is Dywan and his bwothew is Wogan.

And he weally wikes my dog, Wucy.

He also wikes my chocwit cupcakes!

He bwings wittle flowers from the yard!

He makes an adorable decorative accessory to set beside the fireplace.

Darling Daughter never had a sister, and clearly Mini Monkey doesn't mind being used as a guinea pig for fledgling hairdressers.

He's also open to new and exciting fashion experments.
Such as the cutting-edge lime green feather boa...

And the furry red cat's tail...not pinned to the jeans, but stuffed down into the butt crack.

Soft and comfy!

He's very handy and helpful when putting together Christmas trees!

Or when swinging branches like light-sabers!

He makes a handy place to hang Christmas lights.

And finally, I think my sister should give me the Mini Monkey because...

NOBODY in my HOUSE does THIS anymore!

Awwwww!

Wrap him up and put him under my tree, please!

A Very Important Poll

2009-12-02T05:00:00.000-05:00

My dear blog readers,

Look over there ------->

I need your opinion on something. I want you to click on one of those answers. And be honest. Because I want to know what you think. Not that it will be of consequence one way or the other because we all know you can't really force a college-aged kid to do what you want, but anyway...

What is an acceptable age difference between a young man and the young woman he's currently seeing? (Who is not his "girlfriend" by the way because first of all she's not even a girl anymore and secondly they aren't "dating" or so he says.)

Now think carefully here.

Take into account how old you and your spouse are.

Or the age difference in your parents or in-laws.

Does age-difference matter much if both parties are technically aged 20 and over?

Does it matter if the fellow in question is not actually going to BE twenty until next month and therefore he's not a man yet, but still his mama's little baby boy?

Does it matter that his mama may not let him become twenty in the first place?

Would it matter if the girl was younger and the boy was older?

What's too much of a difference? Two years? Five years? Ten?

And finally...what if you like the young lady so far? But still...SHE'S TWENTY-FIVE! YEARS OLD!! That's half-way to thirty, for crying out loud. And thirty is closer to forty than nineteen. Do the math!

So do a mom a favor and go vote on my poll, would ya?

P.S. If this were Darling Daughter trying to date a 21 year old dude her daddy would have died three times already. And probably killed somebody and then had their carcass thrown in jail.

Go vote.

Unless you're my mom or my sister or the Hubby. Because I already know what you think.

The Dingbat Diaries, Mom's Turn!

2009-12-01T05:00:00.002-05:00

The Oldest brought a new "friend" over for Thanksgiving dinner last week. (More on that later. I promise.) Only the Hubby had really met her before. Poor thing, she was pretty much just plunked down in the midst of my family full of crazy people on a national holiday. Luckily, she seemed not to mind too much. In fact, she's been back a time or two since.

We have this weird obsessive thing in our family about writing our names on the plastic cups that we drink from at family gatherings. All family members and guests get a cup. Their name gets inscribed with a Sharpie. The cup is then kept in case they ever visit again. We even take the cups to the beach with us every summer. And some of us take great pride in decorating our cups with all sorts of doodled and all. It's odd, I know. In fact, my mom recently threw out about 20 blue cups that she'd had in her pantry so long that we didn't remember some of the people who's names were on them!

Anyway, so back to Oldest's new friend. Well, never having been over to the house before, she didn't have a cup of her own. Of course this had to be remedied before dinner was served.

(Let me mention briefly that my kitchen was packed with noisy people and I just haven't been thinkin' straight since the removal of my female organs and active brain cells back in August.)

I grabbed a cup and a Sharpie and asked her if she spelled her name, Emily, E-M-I-L-Y?

And she said, "No, I spell it with two E's."

What the...??? I looked up at her. Seriously? No way!

"Your name's EE-mily??"

Gahhh...I need to take some of my grandaddy's Alzheimer's meds.

The Source's Super Spectacular Happy Holiday Gift Guide

2009-11-29T13:53:00.012-05:00

This time of year folks are busy searching high and low for that perfect Christmas gift. Tons of tired shoppers can be found slogging through malls and department stores trying to find that special something for that special someone. And something for the mother-in-law, the secretary, Great Aunt Ethel, your child's teacher and the bag boy at the grocery store. Ugh.

If you're anything like me shopping overload sets in, and your brain starts to smoke by December 3rd. Friends and family are lucky if they score a gift card to Walmart!

Never fear! I'm here to help! I've taken a few minutes out of my hectic schedule to assemble this little list just for you. (Actually, the Hubby's asleep, the twins are playing video games, Darling Daughter's doing homework and I'm majorly bored.) Here you will find all sorts of fabulous and interesting items for those greedy gift-grubbers this holiday season. I've even put links to each one, so all you have to do is click! One-stop shopping here at The Source. How cool is that? I know.

You can thank me later.

I like to call it:

The Source's Super Spectacular Happy Holiday Gift Guide!

1. Teacher~ Now look, your child's teacher already owns plenty of tacky coffee mugs with apples and 123's on them. Ditto the "World's Best Teacher" ornaments for the classroom Christmas tree. Seriously, unless she's a first year educator, she's probably hoping beyond all hope that someone will give her something else this year.
How about this lovely and stylish Square Root Wall Clock ?

Very useful, don't you think? With the added advantage that an elementary-aged kid probably won't have any idea what time it is...clock-watching will be a thing of the past!

2. Husband~ Did your other half grow up in the 80's? Was he a fan of John Hughes movies? Is his job stressful? Does he need a break from the tensions of his day?

This Soothing Head Massager is just the thing!

Stick it on your hubby's head when he walks in the door! The soothing music soundtrack will drown out the screaming kids. The gentle heat will warm away the winter chills. And the vibrating action will joggle what's left of his brains so that he won't be able to tell if you've got dinner on the table or not! Added bonus: He can wear it to his lodge meeting or fraternity reunion and look just like he did back in the day...you know...when he and his buddies sat around with bras on their heads.

3. The Family Schizophrenic~ What? Every family's got a nut-job in the closet somewhere. Now you can give the perfect gift for that paranoid person in your life.

The Rovio Robotic Home Security System will set his mind at ease!

Monitor your home from the internet while on vacation. Find out what the neighbors are up to! Better yet...scare the dog to death! The Rovio is a remote controlled, wireless web-cam that lets you sneak around virtually undetected and spy on the ones you love. Peace of mind for that uncle who thinks the government is out to get him. And what a bargain for only $299.99.

4. The Mad Scientist Child~ In our family we are fortunate to have not one but TWO child prodigies. (They're not mine, either. Thank heaven my kids are normal-smart, not freakishly-abnormal-smart. I wouldn't have them any other way. I mean, can you imagine your child being more intelligent than his first-grade teacher?? I shudder to think!) Anyway, in case you are also blessed with niece and nephew Mensa Candidates, I recommend this:

Star Wars Darth Vader Robotic Arm. Yes, that little genius can construct his or her own little mechanical arm and then use it to crush their enemies! Hey, with a little practice, they just might be performing DaVinci surgery by summer.

5. Your Sister's Kid~ If you have a sister (or a brother) and they have little boys, this is an excellent choice! Guranteed to drive parents completely insane!

The AirZooka Hand Held Air Cannon will anable those lovable little tykes to blast mom's hair off her head from 20 feet away! Sneak up and blow dad's papers right off the desk...while he's doing the taxes! The possibilities are endless! And the fact that the air balls can be shot from a distance means the kids have time to escape certain doom!

6. The OCD One~ For that beloved germophobe! The Zapi Toothbrush Sanitizer uses ultraviolet technology to zap the bacteria right off your nasty disease-ridden toothbrush! I was considering purchasing one of these for my own Pip Squeak, but then I pictured him walking around with this thing in the pocket of his jeans...sticking his fingers in it to knock off the germs that survived his last fifteen minute scouring with the antibacterial soap...and I thought maybe not. The kid has enough issues as it is.

7. Twilight Barbie~ Or maybe she's Twilight Belle? Or Bella? Whoever she is, she's the Barbie version, and she's ready to be wrapped up in tinsel and placed under your tree for your favorite vampire fan. She doesn't look much like the character from the movies, but never fear! Throw in the Ashpyxiated Ken Doll (aka Edward) and your little girl can recreate all her "Life is Meaningless Without a Man" fantasies. Or. Or you could always buy the hideous boy doll for your son. He looks a lot like Michael Myers from the Halloween horror series if you ask me.

Check back later for: The Source's Christmas Gifts to Drive Parents Crazy! Gift ideas guaranteed to get taken away from toddlers and hidden for good!

Doomsday, Devastation and Defensive Driving

2009-11-27T22:28:00.005-05:00

Last week the Hubby and I went out and saw a movie. Together. Without children. In the actual movie theater.

I know.

It's usually a Netflix in the living room with the twins and it's rated PG.

You may be wondering what movie we chose to see on our rare evening out.

What, you weren't wondering? Whatever. It's my blog. I'm telling you anyway.

We saw 2012...the latest "end of the world" movie about death and destruction. Ugh. It wasn't my first pick, but considering we had been invited out by the Oldest and his friend and they chose the movie, I guess it could have been worse.

It could have been Twilight.

Eww...creeps me out just thinking about it.

Anyway, 2012 turned out to be an excellent choice. Because I totally love movies in which small children are subjected to terrifying occurrences such as entire cities being sucked into cavernous pits of molten lava. Shrieking and screaming and wailing little people in perilous danger make the date night experience so much nicer. Especially while you're own children are at home...helpless...in the dark...in the care of their big sister. Makes for a relaxing evening.

But there was another reason why 2012 turned out to be the perfect movie at the perfect time. Stay with me here, and I will explain.

See, lately Darling Daughter has begun to moan and groan and whine about the unfairness of not having her driver's license when EVERY. ONE. ELSE. SHE. KNOWS. already has the ability to drive all by themselves. Everyone. There is not a single teenager this side of the Mississippi besides her that does not already have their license. At least not at her school. So she says.

The Hubby and I have debated hiring the local driver education guy to provide a little more training in good habits behind the wheel such as: "Staying on Your Own Side of the Road" and "Not Ducking and Squealing When Squirrels Run Across the Road." Also the ever-important "No Applying Mascara at Redlights!" We want her to be adequately prepared before we subject the entire town to Darling Daughter on Wheels. We just weren't sure if the local instructor could teach her to handle any situation. We searched the yellow pages, looking for a qualified defensive driving instructor who could teach our girl some mad skillz...all to no avail.

And then...and then we went to see 2012. And the dilemma was solved. A lightbulb popped up right over my head, and I knew what we had to do!

It became quite clear that we need to hire this man:

Yes, that's right. John Cusack. He needs to come and teach Darling Daughter how to drive. Why? Well, because he can totally drive a limo through a crashing building during an earthquake WHILE the freeway overpass falls down and LA slides off the continent into the Pacific Ocean! And if that weren't enough, he can drive an ancient Winnebago ON FIRE down a mountain at top speed through a shower of earth-chunks spewing out of a super-volcano with clouds of ash and rivers of pyroclastic flow hurtling toward him!

He showed off his driving technique throughout most of the movie. He did not even panic! Not once! He even remembered to use his turn signals!

Now THAT'S a good driver!

Somebody get his agent on the phone. My daughter wants her license.

Southern Thanksgiving Menu

2009-11-25T05:00:00.001-05:00

Seems like lots of fellow bloggers are blogging their Thanksgiving menus or sharing their favorites recipes this week. I just want to give a huge "Thank you!" to those who find it in your hearts to share with people like me who look high and low for exciting and delectable ideas to steal. Because I'm all about trying out recipes...after someone else has tested them first, of course!

In keeping with the turkey theme in bloggy-land this week, I've decided to share our menu with you, too. Keep in mind that I won't be the only chef in my kitchen this year. Some years I do cook just about everything. Some years lots and lots of family members join us and they all bring a favorite dish! I like those years. I like them alot!

This year at The Source Thanksgiving Table we will have:

Turkey ~ (I know! Duh. I'll be roasting it in the oven overnight to a fabulous golden-brown level of deliciosity.) I take my turkey-cooking very seriously. Seriously, I do! I pull that sucker out of the oven every so often and smear a stick of butter all over it. Then...I leave it alone. Always turns out just right.)

Dressing and Gravy ~ Not to be confused with stuffing or frockin'. What? You've never heard of frockin'? Then you need to have a word with my father-in-law because frockin' is what he eats with his turkey, and if you ain't had frockin' you don't know what you're missing. It looks, smells and tastes just like dressing. Or stuffing. But it's not. It's frockin'. There's a difference. Apparently. In any case, I cook dressing. Not frockin'. And I make it the way my grandma taught me, so it's really, really good.

Carrot Souffle ~ My sister will be bringing this family favorite. She has a secret trick that makes it a little easier and quicker. She umm...ahem...hope she's not reading this...she uses jarred baby food carrots. Well. So what? It's a heck of a lot faster than waiting on carrots to boil down into the exact mushiness needed for this souffle.

Macaroni & Cheese ~ Again, my sister's specialty. If she makes it, my kids will devour it. If I make it, it had better come in a box labled Kraft. It just ain't my thang.

Corn Casserole ~ Sister. Again. Although I do make this and quite well, I might add. I call it cornbread casserole. Our mom calls it Corn Pudding. (Because, you know, she's all British and stuff. Not. Hi Mom!) Whatever you call it, it's good.

Mashed Potatoes ~ Our mom will be responsible for bringing this...because our step-dad says it's traditional Thanksgiving food. He's from up north. That pretty much explains it. Down here it doesn't count as Thanksgiving food if it doesn't contain sour cream, french fried onions, cheese or crushed up Ritz Crackers. I guess they don't have mashed potatoes up there during the other 364 days of the year.

Some kind of green veggie ~ My mom's bringing something green, but isn't sure what. I'll have to let you know. But we can't be eating all orange and yellow foods on Thanksgiving! I sincerely hope it's not broccoli!

Some other kind of green veggie ~ Because I have a sneaking suspicion that the first one might have something to do with broccoli.

Apple Dumplings ~ Hurray for Pioneer Woman's apple dumpling recipe! EVERYONE loves these. (Yes, Chelsea, I know they're laden with high fructose corn syrup and sugar and butter, but we're eating all those vegetables at dinner so it's ok! Plus, my kids are used to running on sugar fumes. Their little bodies wouldn't know what to do without it.)

Oreo Balls ~ These are kind of like truffles. They probably contain about 3000 calories each. I made about 5 dozen last year and they were ALL gone when the day was over.

Pecan Pie ~ Please pronounce it correctly, y'all. It should sound like Pee Can Pah. No one I know would eat a puh-Cawn pie.

Irish Cream Cake ~ Mom's making this one. It's wonderful. If she gives me the recipe, I'll share. Promise.

Sweet Tea

I think that's it. My Grandma's not coming over this year, so there will be no jello-type desserts. She and Grandaddy are eating with another side of the family this time. Boo for other sides of the family that come down to steal grandparents.

After we pig out here for a while, we will travel up the road to the Hubby's mom's house where we will fill in the gaps with her homemade dumplings which I also cannot make. She's told me the recipe several times over the past twenty years, but darned if I can make them turn out right. I'm pretty sure she leaves out a step or two so that she can be the only professional dumpling cooker in the family!

He still answers prayers

2009-11-24T07:15:00.003-05:00

Just in case you were wondering if God bothers listening to those prayers we send His way...click here. Read how He's working in this little girl's life and in the lives of her family. Have a tissue handy.

(Preferably a Kleenex brand tissue. Not one of those Puff's things. Just saying...Hubby needs job security, you know.)

And then, if you feel like reading a lot of nonsense, you could always come back here and read the post I wrote for today. If you wanted to.

Homeschool Thanksgiving Week

2009-11-24T05:00:00.003-05:00

We're trying to keep with the same schedule as the high school that Darling Daughter attends, so we'll be having a short week here at The Source's School for Rotten Twins. (Also, we're on track to end our first semester right about the time she gets out for Christmas Break and I don't want to mess that up.) Since we'll only have school for two days, I didn't want to have the boys start another week-long vocabulary unit or begin another chapter in their literature study...although they will certainly be reading through the holiday. After a little research, I found some interesting activities to keep them busy with learning, but not bored to death coloring turkey, pilgrim and cornucopia things.

This week my sixth-graders will be:

Looking up the recipes for their favorite Thanksgiving dishes and desserts. They will be figuring out how to convert those recipes to feed twenty people. (To make it harder, I told them all of the original recipes feed different numbers of people so they can't cheat and copy the amounts.) And then they'll be determining how much of each ingredients I will need to purchase when I head to the dreaded grocery store. And then they'll look through my coupon folder and see if we have any coupons for those items. And THEN they'll grab the sales flyers from yesterday's paper and tell me where I need to shop to save the most money.

They'll be looking up verses in their Bibles that have to do with God's mercy, protection and faithfulness. Then they'll write those verses (neatly!) onto Thanksgiving-themed paper and write about some ways that God protected them, showed mercy on them, etc.

They will be researching the weather on the shores of Massachusetts during the fall and winter of 1620-21 using historical records and almanacs. They'll write about what the early settlers experienced and compare/contrast that with what they may have been used to based on where they were from.

They'll research the Native American tribes...the Wampanoag and Narraganset...and write what they learn about their customs, foods, clothing, homes, family life, weapons, etc.

And finally, they'll be helping their teacher clean house. Because that counts as valuable life skills.

Right??

Thankful for God's protection

2009-11-22T17:09:00.005-05:00

Ever had one of those Sundays where the preacher seems to be speaking straight to you? The sermon could have been written with your name filling in the blank?

Well, that was me this morning.

The pastor spoke about giving thanks. (Big surprise, considering the date.) He talked about being thankful for God's mercy, His protection and His blood (that provided our salvation.)

Well, I was already thankful for His mercy. I mean, I have never been giving exactly what I deserve. And that's a GOOD thing.

I'm thankful for His son, Jesus. Without Him I WOULD surely be getting what I deserve.

I don't usually dwell on the protection part. I know that He cares for me. I know He watches over me. I know I can count on Him. But am I aware of it on a daily basis? Nah. Probably not. So He smacked me again.

Yeah, twice in one week. Apparently I needed it...again!

We were in an accident on our way home from Church this morning. Everyone is OK...just a little sore and shaken. The other car ran a stop sign and smashed into our driver's side front and back. (Yeah, literally the whole side.) Right where my Hubby and my Pip Squeak were sitting. Hubby's hip and back are bothering him a little and Pip's shoulder took a licking, plus the seat belt got him good across the collar bone and tummy. The rest of us are just a bit rattled.

And Darling Daughter may end up hoarse from the ear-splitting SCREAM she emitted!!

We're all extremely thankful for all those defensive/dangerous driving courses that the Hubby has taken through the years, because he was able to react calmly and not panic.

Whereas, if I had been driving and gotten rammed in my door and then pushed onto two wheels, I'm pretty sure we would have flipped.

And if Darling Daughter had been driving she would have shut her eyes, thrown her hands in the air and yelled her head off. See, God even protected us from ourselves!

He also protected me from my immediate reaction. My first instinct was to yank that man out of his car and beat him with something. I was furious! He could have seriously hurt two of my most precious people! He killed my Tahoe! What was he thinking?? Running a stop sign on a rainy day? Jerk!

Except, he wasn't a bad person. It was an accident. He made a mistake. He expressed concern for my family.

So, whether the preacher meant it or not, he spoke to me this morning. I needed to hear it. God loves us. He provides for us. He protects us.

I'm so thankful!

The Dingbat Diaries, Boy Version, vol. 6

2009-11-21T19:59:00.003-05:00

Why do I have so much "Dingbat" stuff to blog about lately? I'm guessing it has something to do with cooler temperatures. Maybe my children are ectothermic? Their brains aren't used to the chill in the air an d it's making them a little slow on the uptake.

I exchanged a couple of pairs of jeans that my mother-in-law had bought for my twins. (She bought a 10 slim and a 14 regular. I have a 10 regular and a 14 slim. A normal-sized boy and a grandaddy-long-legs bean pole child.) While I was shopping, I picked up some handsome long-sleeved, collared shirts for the boys, too. When I got home, I made them try things on.

They've been putting clothes on and taking them off for many years now, you wouldn't think it would be that difficult.

Quatro came and handed me his new shirt.

"I can't wear this, Mom, it's the wrong size. My head won't even fit in it."

Perhaps if you'd try unbuttoning it first?

The boy is 12 years old.

I'm a little concerned.

The Dingbat Diaries, Boy Version, vol.5

2009-11-19T05:00:00.001-05:00

The boys are learning Spanish this 9 weeks, and they're picking it up fairly quickly! Yesterday I quizzed them on several vocabulary words and phrases they've learned so far and was surprised at how much they remember. Until...

I held up a flash card that said, "Estoy feliz."

Which means "I am happy."

Pip knew the "I am" part, but was stumped on the rest.

I hinted around a bit, humming some "Feliz Navidad" and mentioning that "Feliz" was the same as in the Christmas song...only it doesn't mean "Merry," you have to change it a little...

Quatro shouted out, "Oh! I know it! It's I AM MARRIED!"

Wednesday Prayer Meetin'

2009-11-18T07:14:00.005-05:00

Revelation 7:17

"For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd;

he will lead them to springs of living water.

And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

Life has thrown some unexpected challenges my way this past week.

There have been attitude problems (others attitudes and my own!) Disagreements and arguments have arisen. Illness and aging grandparents and decisions that need to be made.

Lots of tears have been shed.

Family members don't see eye to eye.

And through it all, what have I done?

Have I remained calm and clear-headed?

No.

Have I turned it all over to the Lord and let Him lead?

Of course not.

Have I prayed about it and trusted Him for guidance?

I wish I could say that I have.

Instead, I've let my temper get the best of me.

I've snapped at my children and yelled at my husband.

I've stomped around insisting that I know what to do, and if everyone would just listen to me and do what I say, things would be just fine...when really I don't have a clue.

So this morning, when I began looking for a song, God smacked me right between the eyes!

He does things like that sometimes.

Because sometimes I really need it!

Why am I trying to find my own way again?

I don't have all the answers, but I know the One who does.

I'm nothing without Him.

Why can't I remember that?

Each time I forget that and move forward on my own, I end up frustrated and uncertain.

I search for the right path to take and get lost.

But every time I DO trust Him and let Him lead me where I need to go...HE DOES!

Because He knows where I'm supposed to be heading.

It's scary to hand over the reigns and let God take control...again.

But I know that's what I should do.

He knows what needs to be done, which decision is best for all of us.

It's up to me to step back and let Him show me now.

Pray for me to practice what I keep preaching to my kids.

Pray for guidance in the decisions that need to be made within our extended family.

Pray that I will find the courage to put those decisions into place when the time comes.

And pray that my family will still love me once I do.