Lets Talk: Dialogue

tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8782105572916074162.post-58348267965326453012007-07-24T21:38:00.000-07:002007-07-24T22:17:45.195-07:00Lets Talk: Dialogue<a href="http://bp1.blogger.com/_S8gxiyIcP1g/RqbUlVtYjuI/AAAAAAAAAB4/XyaKrwF-NOU/s1600-h/Table%2520Talk.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp1.blogger.com/_S8gxiyIcP1g/RqbUlVtYjuI/AAAAAAAAAB4/XyaKrwF-NOU/s320/Table%2520Talk.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5090990166736670434" /></a> From Lisa Gardner's GONE "What happened? Where's my wife? I'd like to see Rainie." Kincaid merely nodded. This was his party. Best to make that clear now and save them both a lot of pissing wars. "Nice coat," he said at last. "Sergeant--" "Like the shoes too. Bit muddy though, don't you think?" "Mud washes off. Where's my wife?" "I'll tell you what. You answer my questions, then I'll answer yours. Sound like a plan?" "Do I have a choice?" "Actually, since this is my scene, no, you don't." Quincy thinned his lips but didn't protest. Kincaid allowed himself one moment to puff out his chest. Score one for the state guy. "Mr. Quincy, when was the last time you saw your wife?" "Seven days ago." "Been out of town?" "No." "Don't you two work together?" "Not at the moment." "Live together?" A muscle ticked in Quincy's jaw. "Not at the moment." Kincaid cocked his head to the side. "Care to elaborate?" "Not at the moment." I chose this example because it works so well. But also because it makes me believe I can write good dialogue too. There are no zingers. Nothing particularly brilliant. Just ordinary speech that even I might be able to think up. So why is this ordinary exchange so powerful? What can a simple author like me learn from it and imitate? Well for starters, we immediately feel the conflict between these two. How is this done? Seems pretty simple- they don't respond to each other's questions right away. One character asks a question or makes a statement, the other doesn't respond to the question asked, thus establishing the "pissing war". What else? The dialogue sounds natural. The sentences are clipped to imitate everyday speech patterns. "Care to elaborate?" replaces "Would you care to elaborate?" And even the internal dialogue makes use of this technique. Best to make that clear rather than It was best to make that clear. Lack of adverbs mugging up the tag lines, use of action tags: a muscle ticked in his jaw and no distracting tags like huffed etc. Finally, despite the lack of zingers (Thank goodness, that takes the pressure off) she uses the simple but effective device of repetition to pull this exchange to a higher level: Not at the moment. I think I can use these techniques to improve my dialogue passages. What about you? Care to share any good passages from your work or someone else's? Any techniques you've found helpful for transforming your dialogue? Does banter flow from your fingertips or do you work at it and then rework it?India Carolinahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15497341972679836624noreply@blogger.com