Koizumi's Budokan: 小权纯裕郎的武道馆

Teachers' Day

2009-08-30T21:37:00.001+08:00

It's quite heartwarming to receive Teachers' Day gifts from your students.

抱

2009-08-27T21:26:00.001+08:00

刚刚下起倾盆大雨，风刮得很强，我冷得在发抖。

霎那间我多么希望有个人能够给我一个拥抱，给我温暖。

外婆

2009-08-22T08:06:00.002+08:00

外婆过失已经3年多了，而这却是我第一次对她的逝世写文章。

外婆去世时，我没有哭。一滴眼泪也没有掉下过。这件事我跟很多朋友说过了，而大家不约而同地反问道：“你跟你的外婆关系不密切吧？”

不哭，并不代表不难过。我跟她的关系，没有像大表哥一样那么密切（我甚至觉得大表哥和外婆之间的关系是一种过分地依赖），但也不至于犹如陌生人一般冰冷。她去世后，当时生活感觉上确实像往常一样，没有惊天动地的大变化，但是你却又晓得你的生活里好像少了些什么，有一种说不出的变化，似有似无的。

逐渐地，母亲不再“回娘家”，一家人也没有像往常一样在周末时聚在外婆家。

这改变对于我的日常生活也没有太大的影响，虽然时不时会起一种像搔不到痒处的莫名空虚感。

直到现在，当我回想起外婆的逝世，我依旧没有想哭的冲动。这并不是一种习惯，我倒觉得这是上天的安排。冥冥之中我注定不为外婆哭泣。

其实也真够玄的，外婆临终前，我是家中唯一一个没有见她最后一面的成员，尽管我和大家在同个时间抵达医院。只因为我肚子疼，去一趟厕所，而错过了和外婆见最后一次面的机会。

偏偏在我拉肚子时，上天决定带走外婆。

偏偏其他人没有拉肚子，只有我。

或许见不到外婆最后一面是残酷的，但也许是幸运的，因为永远烙在我心里的是外婆活着时的外貌，至少我不必直接面对一个亲人逝世的痛苦和悲伤。这种想法也许自私，但冥冥之中我注定得自私。

暹罗之恋

2009-08-16T22:12:00.003+08:00

看过了《暹罗之恋》（Love Of Siam），突然间害怕我在过去的这几段感情中，原来不曾真正爱过。

爱上了，就害怕失去；没爱上，却又害怕寂寞。

最怕我惊觉自己原来不曾晓得什么叫做爱，然后在现在不知道自己想要的是什么。

朋友（下）

2009-08-13T22:01:00.002+08:00

何谓“友情”？

友情就是当别人道出对你朋友不利的事实时，你盲目地、毫不犹豫地、失去理智地挺身而出，为你这位朋友辩护。

尽管说出的话句句属实，你依旧认为他没有做错，还不准我们这样说他，还闹脾气、给脸色。

对他们而言，“朋友”的定义极为简单肤浅。只要我们俩臭味相投，你就是我的朋友了。你和我一样热衷于足球和德州扑克，你就是我的朋友了，虽然你爱撒谎（还洋洋得意地跟他人炫耀如何成功地撒谎）、自以为是、怠惰。。。

入了伍当了兵，才了解什么叫做一种米养百种人。很诧异。

若问我一年多下来从服兵役中学到了些什么，那就是发现在这世上这么白痴的人也有。

朋友（上）

2009-08-13T21:24:00.003+08:00

最令人失望的事，就是你把人家当朋友，而对方却从来没有真正地把你当成朋友。

更令人失望的是，你完完全全没有得罪对方，但对方却听信他人的指责诽谤，而开始对你冷淡。

很可悲，连你对一个人的印象也要由外人操纵。

很可悲，你在这群人的心目中只是一个笑话，一个供大家娱乐的物体罢了。你没有尊严，没有反抗的权利，只能够默默地任由他们在讥讽你、取笑你，然后不需要娱乐时就把你给忘了。你的抗议对他们而言，是一种小气、一种无理取闹、一种不可理喻。

他们是我在营中所认识的“朋友”。这就是我在营中的生活。

Celebration

2009-08-06T20:40:00.003+08:00

In 2006, we have "Umbrella" by Rihanna.

In 2007, it was "Whine Up" by Kat Deluna.

In 2008, we have "Just Dance" by Lady GaGa and "Disturbia" by Rihanna.

In 2009, the song is "Celebration" by Madonna!

Follow Your Teacher's Footsteps

2009-08-04T22:20:00.004+08:00

My former Chemistry teacher, Miss Mok Lai Koin, once said that a student will be good at certain topics in Chemistry when the teacher himself/herself is also good at these topics.

Miss Mok admitted that her forte is Organic Chemistry. I know that my strength lies in Organic Chemistry. Now, as I am marking my student's answer scripts, I discovered that his conceptual knowledge for Organic Chemistry is far better than that for Physical Chemistry. He's scoring 16 - 17 out of 20 for Paper 3 questions that focussed on Orgaic Chemistry, while obtaining 7 - 8 out of 20 for questions on Physical Chemistry.

Hatred

2009-08-04T22:18:00.001+08:00

The problem with my current platoon is that everybody is too busy hating each other.

Sounds like my council days.

I have come to realise that it is far too tiring to hate, but then again it's also against our conscience to love.

鱼片米粉（终）

2009-08-04T08:46:00.002+08:00

我最爱吃的那摊鱼片米粉在我不知情的情况下结束了营业。

也不知道是几时发生的事。很突然，好像死了亲人一样，有种莫名的空虚感。

信约的真正意思？

2009-07-31T16:59:00.003+08:00

我们是新加坡公民，
誓愿团结一致分种族、言语、宗教，
建设不公正平等的民主社会，
并未实现国家之性福、繁荣余烬
不共同努力。

P.S. Did you ever say what you mean and mean what you say?

Why Must I Care?

2009-07-30T19:03:00.002+08:00

在乎得太多，会累。一种精神上的疲劳轰炸，炸得粉身碎骨。

有些时候，bo chap 的态度斯对自己的一种宽恕。这种态度固然自私，但总好过对不起自己。

尤其像我们这群身陷这个身不由己的环境的男孩们，更要学会放开，学会打打太极，方可海阔天空。

皇上都不急，太监干吗要着急？即使你着急、你在乎、你关心，别人未必会感激你。

不是我在提倡一种追求奖励和肯定的处事态度。相反地，我在提醒各位看官要记得善待自己，莫让自己热脸贴冷屁股，碰一鼻子灰。

Improvement

2009-07-26T22:19:00.002+08:00

It feels good to know that after a few months of teaching, your student has finally passed his GP essay for the first time!

=)

Appreciation

2009-07-19T21:06:00.000+08:00

It feels to know that one of your students thinks that you are a good teacher. =)

Don't Forget The Lyrics Quiz

2009-06-30T22:20:00.002+08:00

Quite excited to know that my Don't Forget The Lyrics quiz on Facebook has attracted more than 9,000 persons to take since I first created it 15 days ago.

Click here to play!

Windows Vista Basic

2009-06-28T08:17:00.002+08:00

Windows Vista Basic is so bad that simply playing Restaurant City on Facebook and listening to music on my iTunes at the same time hangs my computer.

Back to NDP

2009-06-26T20:25:00.002+08:00

The day before, I was no longer involved in NDP'09.

Today, because two of my platoon mates decided that the rest of us should be involved in NDP'09 and decided that we should take over their role initially assigned to them, I am now back in NDP'09.

Because of that, I will lose $110 per week until National Day.

Because they are being selfish and irresponsible. Because they think it is only fair for them to push their responsibilities to others.

Anonymity

2009-06-23T12:27:00.003+08:00

You know how frustrating it can be to see unidentified persons leaving messages on your tagboard, and you have no way to to find out who they are or to track their whereabouts.

All you can do is to put a gypsy curse on them. Like Drag Me To Hell.

Foreword to Combined Rehearsal 1 @ Floating Platform

2009-06-23T12:11:00.005+08:00

I was > < this close to losing this incredible job of getting away from the squadron.

Because I didn't have a proper pass to enter the premises.

So, I approached Captain C for help since he's the one in charge of making and issuing passes for all helpers in NDP'09.

"Tomorrow morning come and find me. Bring along a passport-sized photo. Oh by the way, I have a meeting at 9am., so come earlier than that," replied Captain C. I agreed, albeit unwillingly as the folowing day was my off-day. But nevertheless, I agreed, knowing that if I don't, these big-shots will create more trouble for me.

So when I reached squadron the next day with my passport-sized photo at 8am sharp, captain C was nowhere to be found. So I waited, and waited and waited. His allocated parking lot was still empty. "I thought he got NDP today?" 3SG Lek replied when I enquired about Captain C's whereabouts.

"But he told he has a meeting today at 9.." I recalled.

In the end, I left after fruitlessly waiting like a fool for one hour.

That's how officers treat their men.

Combined Rehearsal 1 @ Floating Platform

2009-06-20T23:04:00.001+08:00

I dreaded my involvement in NDP'09 initially. Then, it was all about burning your precious weekends on military-related activity. I could have given tuition, I could have went out on a movie date, I could have went to sing K with my friends.

Now, it seems that my role in NDP'09 is probably the best job ever. No physical labour involved (Okay, perhaps a little, considering the fact that I had to run up and down the steps on the grandstand to record the rehearsal using two different video-cams set up at two different locations. ), no need to endure sarcastic comments from a sergeant major, nothing that involves much planning and coordination (though sometimes I have to take note of the timings for several concurrent events), no higher-ranking personnel beside me to nag/supervise/keep an eye on me. Plus, I get an exclusive sneak preview of the show.

And this role provides me a temporary getaway from the strained platoon and a much-welcomed relief from the unwelcomed platoon commander and his antics.

I am loving it.

Chemistry Test

2009-06-19T23:33:00.002+08:00

I actually derived some sort of pleasure from setting questions for a Chemistry test.

So much in researching on the topics. So much effort in ensuring that there is no grammatical errors. So much effort in ensuring that the answers to the questions are chemically correct. So much effort in making sure that the questions are not ambiguous. So much effort in ensuring that the pages are not crumpled. So much effort in aligning the questions neatly and ensuring that the relevant parts and printed on the same page.

白事

2009-06-18T21:13:00.000+08:00

那晚肚子饿，出门买宵夜，经过了一场在组屋楼下举行的一场丧事。

这场丧事是为谁而办，我就不晓得了。只知道丧事办得热热闹闹的，很多人出席。亲朋戚友，围着的木制圆桌，坐在红色的塑胶椅子上（桌椅都是跟租借公司弄来的），啃着花生瓜子，谈天说地闲聊八卦是非，一片其乐融融的景象。

儿童的活动花样就多些。互相赛跑、捉迷藏、躲避球，勾起了不少我童年时的回忆。

孩童的世界和成人的世界在这场丧事非常相似，都是愉悦的，有说有笑，颠覆了印象中的典型丧事，应该有的哀伤忧愁和痛哭流涕在这场丧事中完全不存在。

话又说回来，在我见过的丧事中，有不少的气氛宛如喜事一样。

曾经听过一位长者这么说过：“一家人只有在红事白事时，才会真正地团圆。”

很讽刺，但也一针见血地道出了现代家庭的可悲心态 -- 一种事不关己，高高挂起的冷漠心态。

表亲若没有必要，大家通常是不会主动和彼此约会见面。一年当中大概只有大年初一、初二才会碰面，送送桔子，派派红包。再者，就是当有人要结婚，摆桌请客时，大家才会出现。

要不然，就像我眼前的这一幕一样，当长辈与世长辞时，亲戚才会聚在一块，送长辈走完最后的一程。

躺在棺材里的那一位若见了这一幕，不晓得会为这场完美的团圆而感到欣慰感动，或是会为他们团圆的时机而感到心寒失望。

亲情和私心仿佛分别成了家庭版的钟无艳和夏宁春，像话吗？

出殡后，死掉的走黄泉路，活着的也又各走各的。司空见惯了。

要见面？等过年吧。或者等谁出嫁娶妻，等谁双眼紧闭双腿伸直。

Officers VS. Men

2009-06-12T13:00:00.000+08:00

I'm not sure if servicemen from other units feel the same way, but at least in my unit, it seems that the officers always think that the men are always trying to find ways to slack, while the men always think that the officers will only throw the physical work to them while they themselves sit inside their air-conditioned office and slack.

Had a chat with Jia Wei, who is a commisioned officer, that night regarding this issue. Does he really think that men are always trying to slack? Yes and no, he claims. Yes, because he has seen many cases of men who tried to "chao keng" (malinger). No, because he understands and their mentality and doesn't blame them for that.

"They'll do only the bare minimum. After all, they are only NSFs being paid a measly amount of allowance a month. They don't see a need for them to work extra hard."

Is such mentality justifiable? National Service is supposed to instill a sense of loyalty and belonging to the coutry, but ironically and truthfully speaking, most of us don't feel that way. Many of us try so hard to acquire a downgrade in their PES status so that they need not serve their National Service in a physically-demanding vocation, or to evade coming back in future for in-camp training. Many of us bear so many grudges against the relevant authorities for making us "waste two years of our time". Many of us just want to "serve and fuck off", equating National Service to a debt that we incurred to Singapore the moment we are born in this country.

The fact is, no one is willing to serve National Service.

We certainly did not choose to go through National Service, and neither is there any form of attractive monetary incentives to motivate us. We are merely men. We take instructions. We have no say in a lot of things. We have no honour. We are treated like dogs because our supreriors only know how to push work to us. So why should we be obliged to put in our best?

That's our mentality.

Now, if we examine how the officers feel. They go through 9 months of course at Officer Cadet School (OCS). 3 weeks of confinement at the start, followed by unknown amounts of surprise SOL, confinements and burnt weekends from various training activities, weekly outfields, monstrous physical trainings, jungle survival, navigation courses in terrains where comfort seems like an urban myth, erratic bookout timings.

9 months of that. It's probably like the male equivalent to pregnancy.

So when they get comissioned, it's time to compensate them. They get to stay out if they want to, they have their own messing lounge, they are well-paid (comparatively speaking to NSF men), they get their own office cubicle, they get respect (even 50 year-old Warrant Offciers have to address them as "Sir").

So they also get to order people around, delegate jobs, issue out instructions which people must follow lest they get charged with insubordination.

And no longer are they needed to perform physical labour in their new unit after commissioning. They got men to do it, so their new task is to supervise.

And that's where my bone of contention arises. Should the officers lead by example and help his men, or should he be compensated for all the "sufferings" he had been through?

I brought up this issue to my platoon commander before. He argued that (and so do my platoon sergeants) different-ranked soldiers have got different job scopes. The officers have got a lot of admin and logistics issues to worry about. There are a lot of behind-the-scenes action going on, especially during an exercise. So while he's preparing all this stuff, we are responsible to do the physical work. Or rather, while we are doing our work, he has no time to come and help us.

The next day when we are preparing to move out for our exercise, we saw him having his breakfast and smoking with the other regulars at the Officers' Mess.

That's besides the point. Now, if we agree on the point that officers deserve their post-commissioning "entitlement" to compensate for their hardwork, must we therefore accept the fact that men should continue to do all these physical work (sometimes more affectionately known as "sai gang", literally shit job) and even accept the fact that their officers are not obliged to help them because the men themselves did not go through any form of trainings tougher than what the officers had went through, and so this is a form of compensation?

Perhaps that's why the officers are thinking when they arrow "sai gang" to his men. They did not go through tougher training than me, so it's only fair for them to do these work, the offciers may think.

And when men resents doing these "sai gang", the officers view it as another attempt to slack off. Maybe the officer himself is truly a "garang soldier", perhaps he's just feeling unfair that how some NSFs can get away so easily without doing much in National Service.

Whatever that is, there's a rift between the officers and the men, which I think is worth exploring for both the Singapore Armed Forces (SAF) and the academic. SAF can look into how to build a stronger working relationship and foster a stronger bond between the officers and his men, which is vital if we want our forces to have a high morale.

The academics can look at how people behave and respond when they are given different positions of power, probably through the perspectives of psychology and sociology.

For me, it's only six more months before I can stop doing all these "sai gang".

Tuition

2009-06-11T22:33:00.002+08:00

I love my job. I make lots of money. But the big bucks come at the expense of my personal time. I want to earn more money so that I can have a higher spending power, but the fact is, I actually have less time to spend those money that I've earned.

I've got CDs to buy. I've go clothes to buy. I want to club. I have yet to watch X-Men: Wolverine, Terminator 4 and Angels and Demon. I want to go sing karaoke.

Ironically, I've got no time.

Every outing that I plan or intend to attend involves the tedious process of reallocating my lessons to another time slot. Immense coordination with up to 3 parties are required. The mere thought of it is enough to dissuade me from having too many personal activities.

As of now, all my Sundays are devoted to work. And I foresee that such schedule will carry on into my uni days, or even until after my uni days.

It's all for the cash.

Am I happy, you may ask. I've got no time for shopping and movies and clubbing, but the trade-off is that I derive satisfaction from clearing the doubts that my students have on the subject. Had I have more time for myself, the opportunity cost would be that I cannot help others and yet obtain tht sense of achievement at the same time.

Tuition-giving is more than just making money. It's a derivative of community service. You are educating the younger generation, you are spreading your knowledge, you nuture people academically. Except that you are paid.

Samsung i900 Omnia

2009-05-31T08:20:00.001+08:00

My new phone!

Koizumi's Budokan: 小权 纯裕郎 的 武道馆