YUMMICOCO

Really fucking scary!

2008-10-09T14:42:00.000-05:00

target women: I'm gonna shit my pants!

2008-10-09T05:44:00.000-05:00

Yogurt:

Botox:

Bridezillas:

Angry Women Voters:

hope he wins.

2008-10-09T05:34:00.001-05:00

He's Circum-super-sized!

2008-09-29T13:35:00.000-05:00

The Great Schlep from The Great Schlep on Vimeo.

Baby, come back

2008-09-22T15:57:00.000-05:00

summer

2008-06-03T15:28:00.001-05:00

Even Ugly Girls Get The Blues

2008-05-16T14:13:00.000-05:00

afraid to be alone?

2008-05-15T12:50:00.000-05:00

Guess Who's Back

2008-05-08T14:59:00.000-05:00

Suck it, Hill

2008-04-15T15:16:00.002-05:00

licking from the crack to the front spreads germs

2008-04-15T13:05:00.002-05:00

Hey!

So Khia's going to be on MC Search's new hip hop humilation vehicle Miss Rap Supreme.

I remember hearing her hit song "My Neck My Back" at a gay bar in Myrtle Beach. My sister's hick friend "Robby" was brutally rebuffed by a male stripper and stormed out of the establishment screaming "I's going hay-ooome"

I like Sexy Pancakes Better

2008-04-15T11:58:00.000-05:00

As Botox turns 20, I find myself not so freaked out about it. When I get old, I want to stay looking young. And despite the fact that black don't crack, I know that I am going to have to take steps in preserving my youth. But is my newfound comfortability influenced by my old lady heroines of television are comfortable sticking automobile fluid into their foreheads? Is it normal to look strange?

When we see bad things happen to good faces, when cosmetic decisions interfere with performances, I think we need to speak out. Otherwise the younger generation will think that a fish-mouth smile and those shiny cheeks are normal and that the Posh Beckham look is something to aspire to ... I wish everyone would stop not only because the sight of some ill-advised surgery or injection can wreck a perfectly OK television show, but also because I am afraid we will forget what normal looks like.

The fact that we live in a 24/7 always on, always online kind of information superoverload, there is a pressure to look your best. Whatever, now I am rambling...

Best reader comment from Jezebel's recap of last night's Hills:

Oooh, I wonder what kind of plastic surgery Heidi is going to get for "revenge"?

Bob and Weave

2008-04-14T15:53:00.001-05:00

Happy

2008-04-11T11:15:00.001-05:00

Ready for my close up.

2008-04-09T10:13:00.001-05:00

Back from Vegas and hella exhausted.

According to Gatecrasher, Blair might have had one of the minority cohorts thrown off the show.

"She was pushed off the show," says a snitch. "Leighton didn't like her, and she went."

A bientot!

2008-04-03T19:25:00.001-05:00

I used to be scared of the dick. Now I throw lips to the shit--handle it. Like a real bitch. Heather Hunter. Janet Jackson. Take it in the butt...

2008-04-02T07:14:00.000-05:00

Yeah, yeah, what.

I get sands in the Switzerland. Even got lands in the Marylands.

Bahamas in the Spring... Baby, it's a mama's thing.

-Lil Kim

Fuck Driveways, Man.

2008-03-28T11:04:00.002-05:00

Lately, I have been rocking a hairstyle that strangely mirrors that of 80s porn star Vanessa Del Rio and my fashion choices seem more and more like a cross between Little Edie from Gray Gardens and Yelle, my new francophone heroine.

Am I raging against the yuppie?

Last saturday, I sported the ultimate New Wave Hooker look: short black leather skirt, red tights, form-fitting black top and black and white saddle oxfords at a Bushwick loft party.

The loft was an awesomely gigantic space with (huge!) rooftop access---the inhabitants of the space call themselves the Bushwick Department of Public Works. They are shitty artists ranging from a mediocre alto sax player to an opportunistic and supremely below-average female guitarist. These artists, born of privilege, strongly believe in pushing the boundaries of art. They also believe that they are not yuppies.

STANDING ON SPRAWLING ROOFTOP. SAX SPOTS GRAFFITI TAG READING 'YUPPIES BEWARE' ON THE DOOR LEADING BACK INTO THE BUILDING.

yuppie alto sax player who drives an SUV: Yeah, I don't know why they wrote that, man. Those people live, you know, over there. [points out towards somewhere that's not where we were just then]

sax: but your car has a GPS system and you work for google.

yuppie sax player: well, that got stolen, man, so I don't have that anymore.

Inside the loft, a 25 piece band called the Bjorkestra played. They were also just ok but what a coup having a full piece jazz orchestra in their apartment, complete with a singer belting out Bjork songs!

1 point for the yuppies there.

But -1 point for the yuppies of the Bushwick Department of Public Works for the fact that they crafted a creation myth, detailing the mystical origin of their yuppie artist commune.

The creation myth was formated into a graphic novel and sections of the myth were plastered throughout the apartment for all the revelers to see.

Stopping to read each page was like stopping to read each Station of the Cross story.

(Wait, that party was during Easter weekend...whoa, so many layers!)

Anyway, I won't fully get into how as part of the Loft's creation myth, they had a guy, who was supposed to be a character from the story, splayed out of the floor, near the back of the space, for most of the night, covered in Christmas ornaments.

Two hours into the party, a petite, puckish-looking guy in a gold frock helped the real life creation myth arise from the pile of ornaments, welcoming him to the party with cans of tuna. The real life creation myth was wearing a suit-vest, trousers and a fedora.

yummicoco: Is that supposed to be Andrew DeAngelo?

It's an obscure jazz joke and not even funny because the man is seriously sick and has no health insurance. Forgive me, dear reader.

I guess I am one of them.

PRETTY IN PINK.

Blaine is a pussy.

Andie has a bug up her ass and a serious case of insecurities.

Duckie is a closet homosexual.

Doesn't sound like a thriller but I think this rendition is fun.

Talk to the Hand

2008-03-26T20:32:00.000-05:00

Poop!

2008-03-15T21:01:00.000-05:00

Blacker than Wesley Snipes' Asshole at Midnight

2008-02-29T16:25:00.000-05:00

I could eat 1 or I could eat 3. It takes a lot of dogs to satisfy me.

2008-02-29T12:01:00.003-05:00

If John Lennon thought "Sexy Sadie" broke all the rules, what did the Matt-LeBlanc- circa-1992 looking club promoter think of yummicoco at Retreat last night--the after party to cousin K's (the original yummi, btw) birthday dinner?

yummicoco: were you mad at me for the hair remark that I made earlier?

He gnarled his teeth and patted me on my head.

I interpreted his behavior as some candy talking.

It was also at the after party that I met a guy who was half ethopian/half saudi arabian but grew up in Sweden and was proud of his tight jeans.

EuroBama: I'm a designer and finance major. I wear tight jeans and everyone thinks I'm gay. But I just say that I dress better than they do.

ok.

Before going to Retreat and before wasting $50 fucking dollars on just yucca and beans at San Cubanos for cousin K's birthday (please stop the birthday dinners people!), I went to a hip hop event that I had no business going to.

Sponsored by another one of many nonsensical urban mags (except this one reads backwards. how prophetic.) and Green Label Art, the party boasted a performance by a special guest.

Was it Kayne? DMX? Hammer?

yummicoco to PR rep: hey, can you tell me who is performing because I have to go soon.

PR rep: it's a surprise.

yummicoco: well, can you tell me when he's performing?

PR rep: well, who says it's a he?

ok.

Ran into two old school cats that Lex and I had previously met at the Hearst Penthouse Party. Fat, unkempt cats that I mistook for losers were actually deeply entrenched in the hip hop world. It was nice to see them.

old school cat #2: whoa, there's chill!

And in rolled actor Chill Mitchell, best known for his stirring performance in House Party.

Moment of Silence for House Party.

In the film, Chill could not stop bumping into the DJ table, much to the chagrin of spin master Dragon Breath Bilal, played by Martin Lawrence.

To see Chill in a wheelchair at the old school event was a big downer to say the least.

Another mood reducer was finding out that the special performance was going to be by EPMD.

yummicoco: oh, I remember when Erick Sermon was on Lisa Williams' Gay Rapper List.

old school #1: Who's Lisa Williams? WENDY Williams, you mean?

yummicoco: oh yeah.

oh yeah.

Why am I wasting my time following the presidential debates when I could be loving this stupid show?

2008-02-27T11:21:00.000-05:00

J'aime ta robe, Marion!

2008-02-25T13:04:00.000-05:00

by Jean-Paul Gaultier

Marion's performance in La Vie En Rose was the best I've seen in a long time.

Loved her speech too. She's awesome.

Give it up, Hillary!

2008-02-25T13:02:00.000-05:00