Who Hijacked Our Country

Uganda-Gate

2009-12-10T00:52:00.000-08:00

The plot keeps thickening. First it was just one of those wacky news items. One of the world’s most brutal violent countries is just about to start executing people for the crime of being gay. And there would also be a huge jail sentence for knowing that a person is gay and not reporting him/her to the authorities.

And then other stories started surfacing. Some of America’s sickest sickfucks were actually “behind” this new law in Uganda. And then the meaning of “behind” kept changing. First it just meant the snakehandlers were in favor of this new law — green with envy that finally, somewhere, political correctness would be pushed aside and Jesus would prevail.

And then “behind” started meaning that some of America’s nastiest Salem Witchhunters had actually traveled to Uganda and pushed and prodded and lobbied for them to pass this law. And the Who’s Who of Biblefucks just keeps growing.

Remember, Watergate started out as just a “third rate burglary” which was completely unauthorized by those in power. The Nixon Administration was just shocked — Shocked! — that a few gung go stupid underlings could have gotten so carried away; could have so blatantly misunderstood their instructions.

And pretty soon we had the Watergate coverup. And then the coverup of the coverup. And the coverup to cover up the coverup…

And now Ugandagate is growing and spreading its tentacles deeper and deeper into the American Conservative Biblehump Racist community. More and more wingtards who have publicly expressed “regret” and “shock” and “well, I agree with them but I would never go THAT far” are being implicated.

Here’s a partial list of America’s retarded hate-spewing Taliban wannabes who are trying to export the 14th century Spanish Inquisition to 21st century Africa:

Scott Lively, a preacher and the author of The Pink Swastika, which “warns” of the Homosexual Agenda and their plan to take over the world. An Episcopal minister from Zambia has described Scott Lively’s book as: "The U.S. culture wars have been exported to Africa.“

Exported! Now see, America does TOO export something: “Christian” hatred. So there.

Oklahoma Senator James Inhofe has taken at least twenty “missionary” trips overseas, using military transport and paid for by American taxpayers. Most of these trips have been to Uganda. The Bible-groveling Rick Warren and Senators Sam Brownback and Tom Coburn are also involved to a lesser extent (so far).

And now The Family is embroiled in this whole cesspool.

For more information about The Family (aka The Fellowship) and how they’ve been manipulating American citizens behind the scenes since the 1930s, check this out.

As they say: curiouser and curiouser.

Gee, what could the world possibly think of the United States of America? And why would they think that way?

Millions Attending Sarah Palin’s Book Signings

2009-12-07T17:12:00.000-08:00

As usual, the leftwing lamestream media is under-reporting and downplaying the attendance at Sarah Palin’s recent book-signings. Her public gatherings have been attended by MILLIONS of patriotic Americans who believe in God and Hard Work and Freedom and the Christian values that made America the great nation she is today.

The liberal media is trying to tell us that “several hundred” people attended Sarah’s book-signing in Iowa over the weekend. Commie liars!

These exclusive Fox News photos will show you the real story.

Here’s a picture of her book-signing yesterday in Iowa. Does this look like “several hundred people” to you?

Wherever Sarah goes, huge throngs of patriots gather to worship her and hang on her every word.

And contrary to another liberal myth, Sarah Palin also has millions of Black followers. So there.

And speaking of Sarah Palin — one of the umpteen colleges she attended was in Hawaii. She only stayed there for one semester because the presence of “too many Asians” made her feel uncomfortable. But she could see Tahiti from her dorm.

In other news, the GOP has now become a third party. Literally. In a question about a hypothetical election, respondents were asked which party they’d choose. The three choices were: Democrat, Republican or the Tea Party candidate (even though there’s no such party).

36% said Democrat; 23% said Tea Party and 18% said Republican. Going, going...

Republican “Public Option” Gimmick

2009-12-05T17:51:00.000-08:00

Two of the dullest tools in the shed — Senators Tom Coburn and David Vitter — have offered an amendment that’s supposed to derail the public option. Their amendment would require all members of Congress to register for public health care if the public option becomes law.

The theory was that those elitist Democrats would be afraid to actually use this lowly socialized health program themselves, since they’re only pushing it for the riffraff.

Surprise! So far, Senators Sherrod Brown, Chris Dodd, Al Franken and Barbara Mikulski have added their names as cosponsors of the amendment.

Aetna has — unintentionally of course — just come forward with an excellent case for health coverage reform. As much blood money as Aetna “earned” in 2009, they realize they can “earn” even more next year. All they have to do is raise their premiums even higher and throw 650,000 sick people onto the garbage heap.

Aetna CEO Ron Williams said:

“The pricing we put in place for 2009 turned out to not really be what we needed to achieve the results and margins that we had historically been delivering. We view 2010 as a repositioning year, a year that does not fully reflect the earnings potential of our business. Our pricing actions should have a noticeable effect beginning in the first quarter of 2010, with additional financial impact realized during the remaining three quarters of the year.”

With millions of angry, desperate, armed and dangerous Americans out there, why isn’t this pukebag in somebody’s crosshairs?

And now let’s hear it for Comcast. They may be one of the villains on other issues (i.e. Net Neutrality), but they’re on the public’s side when it comes to health care reform.

Comcast CEO Brian Roberts has sent Obama a letter saying “enactment of comprehensive health care reform legislation is, in my judgment, critical to putting this country on a path of sustained growth and prosperity.”

Supposedly a lot of large employers are in favor of health care reform since it’ll reduce their own expenses. Let’s hope more of these companies start coming out publicly in favor of it.

Erik Prince — VICTIM

2009-12-03T00:03:00.000-08:00

These are tough times for conservatives. For some unfathomable reason, they’re all victims. Nobody knows why, but anyway...

They’re constantly being distorted and ridiculed and misquoted by the liberal media, even though that liberal media is owned and controlled by some of the world’s most powerful corporations.

Christians of course are persecuted mercilessly in their own country — a Christian Nation! This year’s War on Christmas promises to be more wicked than ever, what with that Kenyan Muslim terrorist in the White House and all.

It’s funny though — the cornerstone of conservative philosophy is personal responsibility. Self reliance. Whatever your problem is, quit whining about it, stop wallowing, pull yourself up and get over it. Suck it up.

And yet the people who hold this viewpoint are all victims. Oh well...

The latest victim is a True American Hero — Erik Prince. He inherited a fortune from his parents and he’s a Born Again Christian who worships fetuses. You can’t get any more American than that.

In 2007 his private mercenary company killed a bunch of them icky swarthy Iraqis. Isn’t that why we’re over there?!?!? We're Number One!! Wagons Ho!

And for his bravery, for acting above and beyond the call of duty, Erik Prince is being Persecuted! Thrown under the bus!

He founded Blackwater in 1997. Business got really good during the post-9/11 hysteria. But after Blackwater mowed down those savages in Iraq two years ago, that pansy leftwing media started whining and handwringing, and they blew the whole tiny incident way out of proportion.

Last February Prince changed the company’s name to Xe, thinking that would erase all of the infamy and controversy created by Blackwater.

Erik Prince is comparing his persecution and victimhood to that of Valerie Plame. Damn right! Take a look at some of the parallels here:

They were both born into incredibly wealthy families. They both think fetuses are sacred and that once you’re born you have no purpose whatsoever. They both went to Iraq for the purpose of killing civilians in cold blood…

My God, the similarities are incredible!

Jobs, Stupid!

2009-12-01T11:48:00.000-08:00

Later this week, Obama is expected to take a short break from playing Hamster-In-A-Treadmill with his health reform battle. There’s another even more urgent fire that needs to be put out — the 10% Plus (and climbing) unemployment rate.

There’ll be a jobs forum at the White House this Thursday. People taking part in the forum include: Google CEO Eric Schmidt, Disney CEO Bob Iger, economists Joseph Stiglitz and Paul Krugman and various labor leaders.

Let’s hope he listens to Paul Krugman in particular. His November 29th column has some good advice for Obama.

He says Obama needs to create an “emergency jobs program.” Instead of passing another gargantuan stimulus package and then waiting and waiting for something to trickle down, Obama needs a “somewhat cheaper program that generates more jobs for the buck.”

Federal aid to state and local governments should accomplish this. At the very least it would prevent vital services — and jobs — from being eliminated. He also should create a smaller-scale version of FDR’s Works Progress Administration (WPA). This would create a lot of jobs (even if they’re low-paying) at relatively low cost. According to the Economic Policy Institute, spending $40 billion a year for three years would create a million jobs.

The Economic Policy Institute also recommends a tax credit for employers who increase their payrolls.

His column ends with “Yes, we can create more jobs — and yes, we should.”

Obama is in a tough position. The Right hates him because he’s just seconds away from imposing a Socialist Communist Fascist police state on this once-free nation. And the Left hates him because he hasn’t done jack shit.

In a related story, forty percent of Democrats say they aren’t going to bother voting in the 2010 election. Democratic political leaders are still a lot more popular with the public than their Republican counterparts. But with Republican voters three times more likely than Democrats to vote next year — things could get interesting.

But there’s still hope. Maybe the Republican Purity Test will get those moderate centrist RINOs out of their “big tent” once and for all. Get that spineless pussy Newt Gingrich out of the party and replace him with a Real American. Republican voters: if the Republican candidate isn't far enough to the Right for you, vote for a third party candidate. That'll show 'em!

How to Stop Receiving Junk Mail

2009-11-29T18:33:00.000-08:00

I haven’t tried it yet, but this article shows you how to do it.

With all the political polarization and mutual hatred engulfing the nation, here’s something we can all agree on. At least I can’t imagine anybody thinking “Oh shit, this is just a personal letter from a friend. I was hoping it would be a credit card solicitation.”

This isn’t a one stop shop, but there are several phone numbers and online forms which, together, should eliminate most of the 41 pounds of junk mail you’ve been receiving every year. And you’ll save a few trees in the bargain.

Here is the website for getting rid of most discount club ads and trial samples. Or you can call 1-888-241-6760.

To get rid of most insurance and automotive come-ons, go to this site or call 1-877-774-2094.

To get rid of those ubiquitous credit card offers, call 1-888-5 OPTOUT. This is supposed to instruct the three main credit bureaus to stop releasing your information, which will presumably stop the avalanche of pre-approved credit cards. The article also lists the individual websites of the three credit bureaus: Equifax, Experian and TransUnion.

The Direct Marketing Association allows you to opt out of some or all of the catalogues and magazines they offer.

Here is another website for getting rid of the catalogue tsunami.

The article has a few other websites in addition.

The amount of junk mail received in America every year has the same carbon footprint as nine million cars. So do yourself — and the planet — a favor.

AIG Gives Taxpayers the Finger — AGAIN!

2009-11-27T18:40:00.000-08:00

In the past year, too many large corporations have performed the following sequence:

1. Hold out hand to receive financial gift from taxpayers;

2. Close three fingers around the money, leaving the middle finger extended.

The following might be the most revolting case yet (but it’s hard to say, since there’re so many to choose from):

In 2005, AIG acquired Utilities Inc., a holding company that controls a lot of small water utilities across the country. These utilities only add up to about 300,000 customers. But these water companies are mostly in poor rural areas; and most of the customers are at or below the poverty level. In other words they’re easy targets for corporate scams.

Two of the most blatant victims of AIG’s extortion scheme were the rural Kentucky towns of Middlesboro and Clinton. In the summer of 2008, AIG “upgraded” its billing system for these two towns. “Upgraded” means the water utility started copying the same slippery tactics that credit card companies had already perfected: Double billing, “neglecting” to send a bill and then charging a huge penalty if the payment is late, making the due date unclear so that payments are more likely to be late, etc.

In November 2008, right after AIG had received the first installment of its multi-jillion dollar taxpayer handout, they notified Clinton and Middlesboro residents that their water rates would be going up by 51%.

Was this huge windfall going to be channeled back into local projects or infrastructure improvements? Fuck No. This extra $750,000 per year — extorted out of 8,000 low-income customers — would be used by AIG to recover their expenses from having “upgraded” their billing system.

That’s right. These 8,000 poverty-level residents were being forced to pay the costs of their own fleecing and gouging.

When AIG acquired Utilities Inc., the CEO of AIG, Win J. Neuger, said:

“We have long considered water infrastructure as an attractive investment opportunity and an excellent complement to our existing energy infrastructure portfolio. Utilities Inc. is a leader in this industry and we are pleased that we have the opportunity to acquire this business.”

Where’s the Baader-Meinhof Gang when we really need them?

We all remember last Spring when Senator Charles Grassley urged AIG executives to commit suicide.

Well?????!?!?!?

Jump already, Motherfuckers!.

Health Care Reform: “Failure is not an option”

2009-11-24T14:42:00.000-08:00

That’s what Charles Schumer said yesterday during the health reform debate. He also said “We're not going to not pass a bill.”

Also NOT an option: The endless dithering, posturing and masturbating that threatens to derail any and all health care reform.

Our underworked overpaid “representatives” need to get off their asses and get a bill passed and ready for Obama’s signature before the end of the year. I’m as strongly in favor of the public option as anyone — better yet, a single payer system. This is clearly indicated in lots of earlier posts and comments at other blogs.

But the public option — and now abortion (it figures!) — can NOT be allowed to derail the entire package. Too many legislators are willing to scuttle the entire bill if it isn’t perfect. And this is exactly what the Health Insurance Harem (formerly known as the GOP) wants. This is not the time for “I won’t vote for a bill that contains/doesn’t contain ______________.”

This article lists fourteen changes that will take effect in January 2010, if — and only IF — Obama signs a health care reform bill before the end of this year.

Among these changes: ending the disgraceful and immoral practice of rescission. This is where an insurance company nullifies a patient’s policy — in order to sleaze out of paying the patient’s medical bills — by “discovering” something the patient “omitted” on the insurance application form. “So, you bought a pack of Rolaids five years ago. You didn’t mention anything about your pre-existing stomach condition. Your policy is hereby canceled.”

This practice is a huge moneymaker for the health insurance industry, and it needs to be stopped ASAP.

Health insurers will also be prohibited from placing a lifetime cap on a patient’s coverage.

The article ends with: “Later on, as with Social Security and Medicare, there will plenty of opportunity to amend the law in Congress. For now, let's help Democrats get HCR passed.”

Detroit Donates Millions of Dollars to Wall Street

2009-11-22T16:22:00.000-08:00

As well they should. So what if Detroit’s unemployment rate is 28% and climbing, and a house in Detroit probably costs less than a new car. Quit whining! If Detroit residents weren’t so wrapped up in their own petty problems, they’d be more mindful of those needy Wall Street executives.

It’s bad enough when an individual doesn’t notice something in the fine print and ends up paying surcharges and penalties. Now it’s happening to one of America’s largest and poorest cities.

Several years ago Detroit entered into a deal with UBS and several other banks, enabling the city to save $2 million a year in interest on $800 million worth of bonds. Unfortunately, on page 73 of the contract, written in a size .001 font, was a “gotcha” clause. If Detroit’s credit rating was reduced, the banks could sleaze out of the deal and demand a huge payment.

Last January, it happened. Detroit’s credit rating dropped, and now the city owes $400 million to those banks. Gotcha! If you’re a giant scumsucking parasite with no morals or ethics, times are great right now.

Detroit is now making a monthly payment of $4.2 million to the banks. The city isn’t allowed to spend one cent on schools, transportation or any other vital services until this payment has been made.

Detroit is probably the most blatant example, but this is happening all over the country. UBS and Goldman Sachs — among others — are extorting billions of dollars from local governments and public entities. As this article says:

“Many of the transactions shared a striking similarity: provisions that protected the banks from big losses and left the customers on the hook for huge payouts. Now, as many of those deals sour, Wall Street is ramping up its efforts to collect from Main Street.”

The New Jersey Transportation Trust Fund Authority and the Chicago Transit Authority are two other entities that have been suckerpunched by Wall Street.

Legislation has been introduced in Congress — by Representative John Lewis (D-GA) and Senator Robert Menendez (D-NJ) — which would impose a 100% tax on these penalty payments that the banks collect. That’s not enough, but it’s a start.

It’s not drawing and quartering, but it’ll do for now.

Yes on the Botax

2009-11-20T11:59:00.000-08:00

We have trillions to spend on wars and corporate subsidies, but when it comes to reforming our 18th century health insurance system, hands get wrung; teeth get gnashed. “Where will the money come from??” “How ever will we pay for this huge government program?!?”

Now, on the one hand we have hundreds of thousands of Americans who are getting sicker and sicker — 45,000 of them die every year — because they can’t afford the medical treatment they need.

On the other hand, hundreds of thousands of self-absorbed over-pampered Americans are constantly indulging themselves with tummy tucks, Botox injections and other beauty treatments that serve absolutely no medical purpose. It’s the medical equivalent of having some people starve while, simultaneously, other people are going “Caviar and truffles again? How boooring. L’ennui [yawn]”

Now, could there possibly be any sort of connection between the above three paragraphs? Hmmmm…wait a minute…[brainstorm]…

dingdingdingdingdingding. The Botax. That’s it!!! Or as Kellie Bundy used to say, “Viola!”

Last year there were 4.7 million Botox injections, at an average cost of $400 each. Now — going way waaay out on a limb here — I’m gonna take a wild guess that these Botox injections didn’t come out of the rent money.

Senate Democrats are making the same guess, and they’ve proposed a five percent excise tax on all elective cosmetic surgeries. Botox injections, cosmetic implants, teeth-whitening — fork it over!

Speaking of taxes and entitlements: The Catholic Diocese of Wilmington has a new policy: Diddle a child, get a lifetime pension. Your tax dollars at work.

And it looks like the teabirthers finally got something right. As rightwads always do, the teabaggers are turning on each other. Go for it! Tear each other apart. Fuck 'em where they breathe!!!

The People Say “Public Option, YES! And Tax Those Rich Bastards!”

2009-11-18T15:36:00.000-08:00

The health insurance industry has gotten a pretty shitty return on their investment. They’ve spent hundreds of billions of dollars bribing Congress, creating a bunch of slippery TV ads, and using phony “grass roots” front groups to scare Americans about “Death Panels!” and “government takeover!”

And what have they got to show for it?

After months and months of lies and orchestrated “demonstrations,” most Americans WANT government-financed health insurance, aka the public option. For those of you who can’t count to ten without using your fingers (i.e. Republicans), remember: the second part of “public option” is the word.....[drumroll]........"OPTION.” It’s not a “government takeover.” It’s an option. OK?

And what’s the most popular method of paying for health care reform? The public says Tax The Rich. The robber barons — and their legions of simpleminded worshippers — have been blithering about “Class Warfare” for years. Bring it on!

Meanwhile, Senator Tom Coburn (R-Inbred) is threatening to bring the Senate to a grinding halt by reading the entire health reform bill aloud on the Senate floor. Uh oh, this might take awhile. His index finger will be exhausted after being moved slo-o-o-owly across each page, sentence after sentence. And Coburn’s fellow senators will know when he gets to one of them big words with two syllables: His lips will stop moving and a puzzled addled expression will cross his face.

And speaking of class warfare: a House committee has just voted to enable the government to break up financial firms that are so huge, they’d take the rest of the country down with them if they collapsed. YES!!! About fuckin’ time!

If a company is “too big to fail,” it’s too big. Period. Sounds like good old-fashioned common sense to me, but the bill was opposed by Wall Street lobbyists and their Republican prostitutes. The bill was proposed by Rep. Paul Kanjorski, (D-PA). He said:

“No firm should be considered to be too big to fail. Financial firms that want to play in a casino need to have their own resources to cover their bets and not assume that tax dollars are available in reserve if their bets fail.”

The opposing Republican “reasoning” was that this legislation might force large financial institutions to scale back their size.

AND??!?!?!?

The Bow that Shook the Inbreds

2009-11-16T14:44:00.000-08:00

The teabirther-chickenhawk brigade is taking a short break from their usual blubberings. They’ve got their panties in such a tight twist over Obama’s infamous bow in Japan, they’ve momentarily forgotten to yell and scream about “Death Panels!” and “Socialized Medicine!”

For now, the Far Right locksteppers are shrieking in unison that Obama is “apologizing for America!” “Groveling before our enemies!”

The knuckledraggers had the same mass hissyfit the last time Obama traveled overseas. For people with simple thought patterns, there are only two possibilities for the President of the United States when he’s visiting a foreign country. The correct choice of course is to thump your chest and yell out “America is Number One and don’t you forget it, you swarthy $#!%&$!#%&#$#$s!” If the president does anything other than that, what he’s actually doing is getting on his knees and groveling and begging for forgiveness. Sort of like what Michael Steele does every time he inadvertently offends Rush Limbaugh.

The expression “when in Rome…” probably doesn’t register with the retards who spend their lives sitting in their trailer watching Fox News. For everybody else — people in Japan bow. In India you don’t eat with your left hand. In Turkey and Iran you don’t use your thumb while hitchhiking because sticking out your thumb is their version of the middle finger. In England, if you mention something about a traffic circle or looking under the hood of your car, they won’t know what you’re talking about. And in Japan, you bow.

Bill Kristol, Bill Bennett and Karl Rove are among the rightfucks who have lashed out at Obama for bowing in Japan.

What Would Dumbya Do?

Or maybe Obama should’ve done what Dumbya’s father did, and thrown up all over his Japanese hosts.

Here’s a blog post about Obama’s “apologizing” and “groveling.” Check out the comments at the end of the post. There are some flatout scary stupid people out there.

In other Republican news: Remember Al Franken’s amendment to that defense bill, prohibiting the Pentagon from doing business with firms that force their employees to sign one of those “I promise not to squeal or make trouble if I get raped on the premises” clauses? And the thirty Republican senators who voted against the amendment (the amendment passed anyway)?

Those thirty Republicans are now horrified — Shocked! — at the backlash they’ve received. They sided with the gang-rapists — and the corporation that enabled them — over the rape victim, and all of a sudden them womenfolk are worrying their pretty little heads and going all hysterical and everything. Who knew?

But at least now those Republican senators have learned their lesson. Boy have they learned it. After some brutally honest soul-searching, the Republican Gang of Thirty have realized exactly what they did wrong. Their mistake: agreeing to a roll-call vote when they voted to stab rape victims in the back. What were they thinking?? Lesson learned!

The next time they vote to sell gang-rape victims down the river, they’ll do it with a simple voice vote instead of a roll-call vote. That way, the lowly public (i.e. their employers) won’t know who voted which way. They can still be a bunch of slippery backstabbing shitstains, but the public won’t know about it and won’t be able to hold them accountable.

Live and learn.

Eminent Domain — The Morning After

2009-11-14T14:14:00.000-08:00

Poor, poor New London, CT. She was hardworking, virtuous, popular, did everything right, played by the rules. Then she got seduced by a slick smooth-talking stranger who promised to take her away from all this. She fell hook, line and sinker, and said “Fuck You, I’m Outta Here!” to all of her lifelong friends.

Everything was great for a few years. It seemed almost too good to be true. It was.

Now he’s left her — penniless, barefoot, pregnant, with a house full of hungry screaming kids and bill collectors knocking on the door.

Pfizer vs. the property rights of New London homeowners — this was the case that changed the meaning of “eminent domain” four years ago. For centuries the government has taken private property for “public use.” It’s a necessary evil, without which we probably wouldn’t have any railroads, highways, parks, hospitals or schools.

But about eight years ago, city officials in New London came up with the retarded “reasoning” (using the term loosely) that the term “public use” now applies to ANY private development project that MIGHT bring more tax dollars into a community.

Some New London residents filed a lawsuit to prevent their homes from being demolished to make way for Pfizer. One judge after another sided up with Pfizer and the New London city government. And in 2005 the U.S. Supreme Court, in a 5 to 4 ruling, upheld these imbecilic lower court decisions. Eminent Domain could now be used to uproot ANYBODY from their own property, as long as the new property owner was wealthier and would (probably) bring in more tax money.

And look at what happened. Pfizer is now planning to move 1,400 jobs out of New London. The “urban village” Pfizer was planning — which was the entire reason these homeowners had their homes yanked away from them! — has never been built. It’s a huge empty parcel blighting the New London landscape. (The linked article has a picture of it.)

Susette Kelo is one of the people whose homes were stolen out from under them by New London city officials and Pfizer. She said: “I’m not surprised that they’re gone. They didn’t get what they wanted: their development, their big plan.”

Scott G. Bullock is the attorney who represented the New London homeowners in court. He said Pfizer‘s announcement “really shows the folly of these plans that use massive corporate welfare and abuse eminent domain for private development. They oftentimes fail to live up to expectations.”

Robert M. Pero is one of the New London city council members who led the drive to evict his own constituents on behalf of Pfizer. His punishment for selling out his city — he’s going to be the new mayor next month. (Talk about the Peter Principle!) He said: “I’m sure that there are people that are waiting out there to say, ‘I told you so.’”

They’ll probably say a lot more than that, you cocksuckin’ son of a whore. I’d say it too if this wasn’t a respectable family blog.

Strange Bedfellows: Teabaggers and a Militant Russian Nationalist

2009-11-12T00:24:00.000-08:00

Igor Panarin, a radical Russian professor, has been predicting for years that the United States would collapse sometime during the year 2010. The shattered remains of America will be divided into about five or six regions.

Southwestern states because of their heavy Hispanic populations will merge with Mexico. Alaska will revert back to Russian control. The poorest of the Midwestern states will probably form their own nation, and the northern Midwest will either merge with Canada or form its own nation. The northeast will become part of “global capital and finance” based in London. And the West Coast will become part of China, of course, because of the large Chinese population and the fact that those Left-Coasters are using computers that were made in China.

The above tinfoil-hat rantings don’t have much of an audience even inside Russia, let alone anywhere else. But now the absent-minded professor has found a new cult following inside the United States. Guess who.

I guess these pitiful teabirthers need all the friends they can get. And since they obviously hate their own country and everything it stands for, they might as well hitch themselves to a Russian crackpot who wants America to collapse.

Joseph Farah, founder of WorldNetDaily (Home of the Afterbirther™), is one of Panarin’s followers. Farah says he isn’t “buying into Panarin's entire prediction” but says “there's something to it.”

Panarin made a recent trip to the United States and was surrounded by worshippers in Houston and Washington, D.C.

Question of the day: What’s the difference between a Greek Orthodox priest and a Muslim terrorist? Tomato, Tomahto, right?

Hell, them furriners with their dorky hats and funny robes, they all look alike. And what the hail are they doin’ here anyways?

In Tampa, a Greek Orthodox priest, who was visiting the U.S., got lost and asked Marine reservist Jasen D. Bruce for directions. The Marine conked the priest on the head with a tire iron and then chased him for several blocks, shouting “Terrorist!”

Now, what was all that liberal claptrap about military recruiters lowering their acceptance standards.

Ronald Reagan: Snubbed by an Ungrateful World

2009-11-10T14:20:00.000-08:00

This is just typical! Par for the course. Those Goddamn Socialist Euroweenies spent the whole day celebrating the 20th anniversary of the collapse of the Berlin Wall — and they didn’t even mention the Swashbuckling American Hero who made it all possible.

Merkel and Gorbachev were front and center all through the celebrations. But what about Ronald Reagan??? Why is Gorbachev taking credit for any of this? What, some cheap-ass Communist punk was gonna tear down the Berlin Wall on his own???

When Ronald Reagan went riding off into the sunset, er, into East Germany, with his head tilted to one side, his facial features frozen into that permanent “aww shucks” expression, and those folksy one-liners streaming out one after another — them commies didn’t stand a chance.

Gorbachev tore down that wall because he knew damn well what would happen to him if he didn’t. The Leader Of The Free World made him tear it down. And now we’ve got a whole continent full of surrender monkeys, celebrating the freedom that Ronald Reagan gave them — and they didn’t even thank him!

Fortunately, a few patriotic Americans have remembered what really happened, and they’re giving credit where it’s due.

I suppose those sniveling ungrateful Nicaraguans won’t be honoring Reagan either.

And there’s still more disturbing news out there. Somehow — God only knows how this could have happened — American weapons have fallen into the hands of Afghan insurgents.

Why?!?!?

This is shocking! Unimaginable!!!

How could something like this possibly happen???

When Bad Behavior is Encouraged and Enabled

2009-11-08T16:55:00.000-08:00

It’s become a tired cliché for older people to complain about today’s spoiled brats, especially in comparison to their own rugged childhood and strict upbringing. “My folks whupped me if I got out of line,” etc.

But maybe things really have gone too far the other way. This article talks about low expectations becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy. The result is bad behavior which often continues into adulthood.

"Negative expectations on the part of both parents and children predict more negative behaviors later on,” according to a psychology professor.

The same professor also said, "Sometimes parents expect more negative behavior from their own adolescents than they should…”

Maybe some of the old adages were true after all. Who among us never got that stern parental warning: “Careful! What if your face froze in that position???”

And sometimes these badly-brought-up uneducated rubes get together with like-minded friends. The results are not pretty.

And now, Republican leaders are going over their to-do list, making sure there isn’t a single group they haven’t alienated yet.

Women — Check.
Hispanics — Check.
Blacks — Check.
Working people — Check.
Non-Biblethumpers — Check.
People with foreign-sounding last names — Check.
Jews — Check.

Apparently, some of those politically-correct oversensitive Jewish leaders are getting a tad irritated by the rightwads’ constant comparisons of Hitler and Obama. Gee, ya think?

Tom Coburn Hates Veterans

2009-11-06T17:16:00.000-08:00

Senator Tom Coburn (R-Shitstain) has placed a legislative hold on the Veterans’ Caregiver and Omnibus Health Benefits Act of 2009 (S 1963). This is his way of protesting against the stimulus bill, which he has called “the worst act of generational theft in our nation’s history.”

Thirteen military and veterans’ groups have sent a letter to Harry Reid saying: “It is essential that Congress act on this comprehensive measure without further delay. Thousands of disabled veterans with serious medical conditions and the family members who care for them are counting on this additional support.”

Steve Robertson, the legislative director for The American Legion, met with Coburn’s staff to try arranging for some sort of compromise. No dice. He said:

“For a lot of family caregivers, delay is costing them their jobs and their savings. It’s having a big impact. They made it clear that Sen. Coburn sees this as using his rights as a senator to place a hold on a bill…I agree with that, but that doesn’t mean it makes sense to hold up a bill that would do a lot of good things for veterans that has cleared a committee and is ready for a vote.”

Sixty-one years ago an inbred redneck got fucked by a Neanderthal, and it gave birth to Tom Coburn. If you’d like to tell him that (in so many words), please click here.

A few other Senate Republicans learned something yesterday — something most of us already learned in elementary school. If you play hooky from school, the rest of the class will continue on without you. Time doesn’t stand still for you just because you’re having a tantrum.

For people who never learned this in school, the business world teaches the same lesson, often more bluntly. Don’t show up for work, and your coworkers will get along just fine without you. And your boss might discover that he/she doesn’t need you any more.

For the sake of all Republican readers out there (in case that isn’t an oxymoron), a well-known self-help book has now been rewritten: All I Really Need To Know, I learned when I was 57 years old.

This last story has a certain irony to it. Republicans won’t get it, but for people whose IQs are ABOVE freezing, it should be good for a laugh: At Michele Bachmann’s anti-Government Takeover anti-Socialized Medicine rally yesterday, one of the John Galt wannabes had a heart attack. Fortunately for Howard Roark Junior, some of those hated socialist bureaucrats were close at hand, and they resuscitated him.

As Mr. Bootstraps was being wheeled away by about ten government medical personnel, John Boner was spewing into his mike: “Join us in defeating Pelosi care!”

The Voters Have Spoken! Obama is Toast! FINISHED!!!

2009-11-04T16:20:00.000-08:00

Sheesh, will the “liberal” media dial it down already. Two Republican governors get elected, and you’d think 300 million American citizens were charging toward the White House carrying torches and pitchforks.

Yes it sucks that two large states now have Republican governors. It’s not the end of the world.

I like the Upstate New York congressional race better. The 23rd District hasn’t sent a Democrat to Congress in over a hundred years. This should have been a slam dunk for the Republican candidate, Dierdre Scozzafava.

She was endorsed by the NRA and Newt Gingrich, among others. But she didn’t spew out enough fire and brimstone over abortion and gay rights, so the knuckledraggers kicked her out of their Big Tent. The single-digit-IQ brigade had their own knight in shining armor — Conservative Party Candidate Doug Hoffman. Calling all teabaggers, tenthers, afterbirthers, snakehandlers — here’s our chance to drive out those pansy moderates and Take Our Party Back!

Or as this article described it, Doug Hoffman got his teabags dunked. Democrat Bill Owens, a retired Air Force Captain, will now represent the 23rd District in Congress.

If you aren’t a resident of Washington State, the name Tim Eyman probably doesn’t mean anything. If you live in Washington, Tim Eyman is either a swashbuckling hero, saving Washington’s harried taxpayers from those tax-and-spend bureaucrats; or he’s a M&%$#&F#$%^&#in’ $#!%&%&$#!!#$%$#%#$!!!! There’s no in-between.

Eyman will never sleep as long as there’s still a library, public school, city park, fire department or any other socialist government service that hasn’t been shut down. His latest save-the-taxpayers gimmick got defeated yesterday. It was leading two to one in the polls just a few weeks ago. Thank God the voters came to their senses.

From the few pictures of him that I’ve seen, he looks like that nerdy comedian from several Seinfeld episodes; the one who kept saying “The best, Jerry. The Best!” and “I’ve been working out. I’m huge!”

Anyway, there was an interesting tidbit about him in last Sunday’s Seattle paper. It seems Tim Eyman himself is $250,000 in debt. That’s the amount he spent hiring all of those paid signature-gatherers so he could get his “grassroots revolt” onto the ballot. And now he doesn't have the money. I guess preaching about thrift and personal responsibility is more fun than actually practicing it.

Now before you go, here’s a short quiz (only five questions) you can have some fun with. I won’t give away any answers but here’s a little hint: no matter how sick and twisted you think the Far Right is — they’re even worse.

September 11th, 2001 — The Republican Rewrite

2009-11-02T14:11:00.000-08:00

Here is what really happened that day:

On the morning of September 11th, 2001, the World Trade Center was attacked by waves of health reform socialists. Thousands of these pestilent liberals swarmed all over the Twin Towers, annihilating free enterprise and liberty everywhere they went.

In their wake, they left a heartbreaking trail of redistributed wealth and health insurance coverage for millions of previously uninsured Americans. The agony! America still hasn’t recovered from this Day of Infamy.

The Far Right has a new Official Demon™. When the Cold War ended, they needed a replacement for **Communism** and they came up with **The Homosexual Agenda**. Ever since September 11, 2001 **The Terrorists** (i.e. anyone with a dark complexion and a Middle Eastern name) has been their favorite code word.

And now those swarthy Arabs have been replaced. According to Rep. Virginia Foxx (R-Inbred), **Socialized Medicine** has replaced the darkskinned furriner as the thing Americans should fear most. Today on the House floor, she said:

“I believe the greatest fear that we all should have to our freedom comes from this room — this very room — and what may happen later this week in terms of a tax increase bill masquerading as a health care bill. I believe we have more to fear from the potential of that bill passing than we do from any terrorist right now in any country.”

Coming soon: Another one of those spontaneous demonstrations in Washington, DC. Michele Bachmann has summoned her gang of vacant-stare gullible dimwits to gather next week in D.C. They’ve been instructed to show their patriotic love for America and their visceral hatred of inept faceless bureaucrats meddling in their health care. They will carry out their marching orders as directed.

The next moderate pussy to be kicked out of the Republican Big Tent: George H.W. Bush.

In 1987, when he was still Reagan’s vice president, Bush told Mikhail Gorbachev: “Reagan is a conservative. An extreme conservative. All the blockheads and dummies are for him, and when he says that something is necessary, they trust him.”

OOOPS.

Republicans — Everybody is the ENEMY, Even Big Business

2009-10-31T00:10:00.000-07:00

The current Republican Party is so anti-everything and so full of hatred and fear and loathing, they even hate their traditional allies. They probably hate themselves most of all. No wonder they're the biggest customers of those bondage and S&M hookers. "Whip Me!" "Gouge my nipple! Uuuugghhh!!! It hurts soo gooood!!!"

They aren’t even the party of Big Business any more. Their only purpose is to derail anything and everything Obama tries to do. And some of those traitorous corporations are actually cooperating with that commie president. NOOO!!!

The most glaring example right now is the health reform debate. As this article by Peter Suderman says:

“From the time the bill hit Congress, Republicans found themselves opposite big industry interests. From the drugmakers to the doctors to the insurers, every major player in the health-care battle declared themselves willing to work with Democrats to enact some variant on reform.”

Former Senate Majority Leaders Bob Dole and Bill Frist have both spoken out in favor of at least some portions of Obama’s health reform agenda. And they both have financial ties to the health care industry.

It’s the same with every other task Obama is trying to accomplish. Clean energy legislation, the stimulus, regulating the finance industry — some businesses are in favor of these reforms, or they’re at least wanting to cooperate and compromise with the Democrats. But Republicans? If that Kenyan Fascist Muslim babykilling Socialist wants it, Republicans are agin’ it. No ifs. No exceptions.

Whenever that Republican Big Tent threatens to get too big or too diverse, the exit door opens. Anyone who isn't hateful or bigoted enough gets the Heave-Ho.

This whole thing brings to mind Bob Dylan's hilarious 1960's song "Talkin' John Birch Paranoid Blues".

He's pretending to be a paranoid neurotic wingtard John Bircher type, thinking that everybody's a hidden Communist agent trying to subvert the country. He ends the song with "So now I'm sittin' home investigatin' myself! Hope I don't find out anything...hmmm, Great God!"

The next logical step is for Republicans to start torturing and executing themselves for being everything they hate. If only...

Republican “purists” always say they need to “stand for something,” to stick to their “principles” and weed out those pussy moderates and "RINOs." And what would those principles be? Anyone know???

What If Bush Had Done That?

2009-10-29T00:11:00.000-07:00

That’s the question that this article is asking. “What if Bush had done that?”

I haven’t clicked on the story yet, but that’s an excellent question. What if Bush had done, well, anything.

Obama’s workload would be about a trillion percent easier if the Worst Dumbest Shittiest President EVER had done something — anything! — besides invading other countries and cutting taxes for his corporate donors.

As you know, Obama has spent the last few months fighting the fight of his life for health care reform. What if Bush had done that? Well, let’s see — eight years times 45,000 (the number of Americans who die each year from lack of health care) — about 360,000 Americans would be alive right now instead of being murder victims; victims of our mercenary health insurance industry.

Another Herculean challenge facing President Obama is: trying to rein in that gargantuan out-of-control Frankenstein known as the finance industry. He’s trying to re-establish some of the banking regulations we used to have up until twenty-odd years ago. What if Bush had done that? Well, for starters, the Great Financial Meltdown of 2008 — the worst since 1929 — would have been averted. Millions of unemployed Americans are no doubt wishing Bush had done that. They’d still have jobs, homes and bank accounts.

Climate change and the energy crisis are two more problems that will eat this country alive if something isn’t done. Obama is pushing for clean energy legislation which will start mitigating both of those crises. What if Bush had done that? Imagine that. Gasoline at $5 a gallon, global warming threatening to become our worst nightmare, thousands of knuckle-dragging inbred simplefucks blubbering about “Drill Baby Drill!” — all of this would’ve been something out of a bad science fiction movie.

Also, President Obama scored higher than 100 on an IQ test. What if Bush had done that?

When a Billionaire Has Fallen and Can’t Get Up

2009-10-27T00:49:00.000-07:00

I hate to point out a silver lining in the housing collapse that’s fucked over so many millions of Americans. But Goddamn it, this just Feeels Sooo Fuckin’ Gooood.

The biggest real estate deal in American history has collapsed. Now I don’t care if a few filthy rich people find a way to make even more money and get even richer. But this particular scam — even though it was perfectly legal — would have made billions of dollars at the expense of thousands of renters who had been playing by the rules, doing everything right, and almost had the rug pulled out from under them.

Sometimes lightning strikes the right person.

In 2006, an investment group led by New York City real estate firm Tishman Speyer Properties and BlackRock Realty Advisors purchased two huge Manhattan apartment complexes — Stuyvesant Town and Peter Cooper Village. And of course the $5.4 billion price included the lives of the 25,000 people in those two apartment complexes.

$5.4 billion for 25,000 people. Well, at least that’s more valuable than the “ten dollars a life!” from the “In Cold Blood” murders — mostly because of inflation, not because of any sort of ethics or morals on the part of these wannabe robber barons.

The Crooks Who Would Be King are almost certain to default on their $3 billion mortgage and the $1.4 billion secondary loan they bought the property with.

Their plans for converting thousands of apartments into luxury condos — to be sold at market value — are up in smoke. Awww.

A few would-be oligarchs have fallen and they can’t get up. And twenty-five thousand middle class renters can keep their lives. Works for me.

In other news: this headline is asking Are Humans Still Evolving?

Are?

You?

Fuckin’

Kidding???

Still More Republican Lies About Health Care Reform

2009-10-25T01:07:00.000-07:00

Every time the Republicans recite the bullshit their HMO puppetmasters tell them to recite, the lie gets refuted over and over. And like a cat that keeps jumping up on the table no matter how many times you push him off, the Republicans keep coming back with more intelligence-insulting lies to the American people. Is anybody still listening?

Yesterday’s weekly GOP radio/internet address was delivered by Republican Nebraska Sen. Mike Johanns. His health insurance johns instructed their prostitute to keep spewing out their same old talking points, and Senator Johanns performed his assigned task as ordered.

If repeated lies could be physically transformed into fecal matter, Senator Johanns’ mouth would look like a whale with explosive diarrhea.

“To the factory worker, who has forgone pay raises for the promise of better insurance benefits for you and your family: your health insurance will be taxed and your premiums will go up.”

“To the recent college graduate burdened with student loans: you'll be forced to buy health insurance the government mandates, and if you refuse, you'll be hit with a penalty.”

“To our seniors, who wish to receive care in the comfort of their homes: funding for hospice care and home health care services would be cut.”

First of all, if you actually believe the Republican Party gives a flying fuck about factory workers, senior citizens or recent college graduates (unless they’re MBAs on their way to Wall Street) — I can get you a great deal on some oceanfront property in Kansas.

And who exactly still listens to the GOP weekly address? Does their audience include ANYBODY whose parents aren’t first cousins???

Uh oh, Senator Johanns forgot to mention Death Panels, and the thousands of Canadian citizens who are dying on the Emergency Room floor every week while they wait and wait and wait for some faceless socialist bureaucrat to help them.

Maybe the most blatant Republican lies are being quietly taken out of circulation. But they keep coming up with new ones, and there's always a new battalion of inbreds who will believe them.

Heritage Foundation: “Rape is Good”

2009-10-23T02:17:00.000-07:00

If you visit liberal/”alternative” news sites or blogs, you probably know about the Halliburton/KBR employee who was gang raped in Iraq by some of her coworkers. (You didn’t find out about it from the mainstream “media” since they’ve been too busy with the Balloon Boy and the usual celebutante drivel.)

This rape victim’s employment contract had a clause which prohibited her from taking any legal action against her employer in the event she was raped. Senator Al Franken proposed an amendment that would prohibit the Pentagon from doing business with any company that requires female employees to sign one of these “I promise not to squeal or sue my employer if I get raped by my coworkers” agreements.

Thirty (30) senators voted AGAINST this amendment. Yes of course they were all Republicans. You had to ask?

Here is a list of the Thirty Pieces of Shit — those pathetic pitiful little dickwads who think rape in the defense of Halliburton is no vice. (Sorry, Barry G.)

And the ultra-rightwing Heritage Foundation thinks Al Franken’s amendment is just the usual liberal whining; just a payoff to trial lawyers and those unscrupulous employees who file frivolous lawsuits against their employers.

In a related story, the Republican leadership is trying to attract some normal people — i.e. people who walk upright, breathe through their noses and have IQs above freezing — into the GOP. But they aren’t sure how to accomplish this, what with all the bookburning knuckledragging sickfucks who dominate the party (see above).

President Obama’s Enemies List

2009-10-21T11:06:00.000-07:00

All right everybody, mind your Ps and Qs and watch what you say in public, or you too might end up on Obama’s Enemies List!

OOOOHHHH!!!!

This dire warning comes from Senator Lamar Alexander (R-Duuhh). The good senator spelled it all out for that powergrabbing commie in the White House: “Don’t start an enemies list.”

He was referring of course to Richard Nixon, who created an enemies list, based on the Nixon paranoid mentality of “everybody is against us and we are going to get them.”

Alexander named several of Obama’s terrifying power grabs: boycotting Fox News, criticizing the U.S. Chamber of Commerce, and threatening to take away the health insurance industry’s exemption from federal anti-trust laws.

It brings to mind that stirring heartbreaking poem from Nazi Germany: “…when they stripped away the insurance industry’s anti-trust exemption, I said nothing…and then when they came for me…”

Are you frightened yet? The Gestapo could be knocking at your door any minute now! Or would that be the KGB? Since Obama is a Communist, a Fascist AND a Muslim terrorist (we got us a threefer!), that dreaded midnight knock at the door could be the Gestapo, the KGB or the Islamic Revolutionary Guard. Any way you look at it, we’re all doomed!

Barack Obama’s Enemies List [sigh] Let’s see, on the one hand, a president argues with the U.S. Chamber of Commerce and tries to apply already-existing anti-trust laws to a ruthless corporate behemoth that’s threatening to take down the whole country. And on the other hand, a president who recruited the CIA and FBI to spy on campus protesters and tried to get the IRS to audit his political opponents.

Yup, same thing.

Hey, I just thought of something. I don’t need to use comment moderation any more. Now that my Master is watching over all of us — if you leave a negative comment, I’ll simply e-mail it to the White House, and you’ll be hauled away to one of Obama’s infamous re-education camps before you know it.

MWAAAHAAHAAHAAHAAA