Jumping at the Ground and Missing

On My Soapbox

2008-07-25T10:30:00.004-04:00

I think I'm going to make soap today. Yay! I may even get crazy and make more than one batch. I'm going to do smaller batches, though, so I can play around with scents and have at least 2 different ones, instead of 30 bars of the same kind. I'm also going to use some of my fun moulds. Last time I just used PVC pipe, creating a soap sausage that I then sliced into hockey pucks. I'll likely end up using both, actually, since I don't have a ton of moulds.

Hmm, Mozilla says it's "molds." Isn't that what grows on old food? I am the only person on the planet, it turns out, who cannot intentionally grow mold. I tried for one of our Biology lessons and failed spectacularly. I made mummified bread. I'm still unsure of how that happened, but I may try to patent the process and produce mummified bread on a large scale to sell as survival food. Fortunately, it turns out that I can grow molds UNintentionally, so we finally have something to look at under the microscope now.

I've been teaching myself to play the guitar (at last!) and am moving past the sore fingers point, which is nice. Chordie rocks! I remember several chords now (variarions of F, C, G, G7, Am, D, Em) but there are some I cannot figure out how to play for the life of me, short of pulling a Zaphod and having quite a few extra fingers grafted on, or perhaps having my hand cut and stretched between the 3rd and 4th fingers. That could be the latest "hot" surgery. You know, like tongue splitting, and other body modifications. Yep, I should patent that, too. "Guitar Player's Hand."

Observations From The Mattress

2008-07-23T00:24:00.004-04:00

Well, I'm blogging in bed, so it seemed an appropriate title. . .

I keep swearing to myself that I will keep Wednesdays free of obligation.

I keep failing.

The good part is that it's always something good that comes up, so I can't complain. :)

My kids have the chance to be exposed to chicken pox tomorrow, but with a 10-20 day incubation period, that puts us in range of the next black belt testing, so I have to say no. Can't have poxy kids trying to survive a 7-8 hour test. Bummer.

Yeah, black belt testing is coming up again. (Aug 16th) Urf. ^_^ This will be our second "check test." After you make black, you keep testing with the other black belts, or bb candidates every 6 mos. On the 5th or 6th test (I can never remember which), if you passed them all, you get your second degree. So yeah, 2nd degree is still a ways off. Our last one was, I think, only 4.5 hours long, as opposed to the 7.5 hour one the first time around. But last time everyone was just doing check tests, and this time we have a new candidate, so it will probably go longer. Argh.

Sluggie turned 11 on July 15th and Gogo Fishy will turn 9 on Aug 13th. Yikes!

I see a lot of names on Facebook that are really familiar from high school, but I really don't remember a lot of the people. There are a few I do, though. The trick is finding any of those who remember me. ^_^

I kicked one of my sparring partners in the butt tonight. (spinning back kick) Apparently I got him pretty hard. *cringe* The good news is that I didn't hurt my ankle again. ^_^

I have a new hogu (chestguard) that I like very much, but I can't dress myself in it, and must thus rely on the charity of others who are willing to tie me up in it. O_o ^_^

Thus ends the random update.

W00t!

2008-07-11T10:03:00.006-04:00

Woo hoo! Pic uploading is enabled once again!!

If you haven't deserted me after all this time, I guess I really do need to cough them up. :)

Mollusc and I are ultra-chic in our sparring goggles. ^_^ But boy were we glad we had them on! Even with the strap, mine got peeled off my face at one point.

Oh, and the latest post on Mollusc's new blog is crackin' me up bigtime. ^_^

Wet 'n' Wild

2008-07-03T18:53:00.002-04:00

Please stand by for pics, as Blogger is being a poo.

It's Summer

2008-06-19T10:19:00.002-04:00

and I'm reading, reading, READING!!

Right now I'm in the throes of the following:

Lamb (absolutely hilarious!)

Elric: Song of the Black Sword (recommended many times over by a friend and proving to be very interesting, indeed)

The Forest House (I loved The Mists of Avalon, so this has got to be good, right?)

and the audio book The Secret of Lost Things.

Our second library's summer reading program has kicked off, which is the one that has an adult program, too.

And last weekend, we went to the beach for the first time this year. It was gorgeous. Now it's too cold, but I know there are lot of great beach days ahead of us. Ahhhhh, summer! :)

Sparks

2008-06-18T11:56:00.004-04:00

Fishy and Sluggie brought me a huge ant at the library the other day. They had seen someone intentionally step on it, but it had been left only horribly maimed and not dead. There was clearly no hope for it, even though they wanted to save it, and I regretfully told Sluggie to put it out of its misery. She couldn't do it, and asked me to do so instead. It will probably seem stupid to most people, but it was hard. Life is sacred and mysterious and miraculous to me. And knowing that by the simple pressure of my foot I would be removing an enitity from the universe, crushing out a spark of life so easily -- so suddenly -- was hard. It even bothers me to kill mosquitoes. Yes, I do it, but the act of killing anything is just so hard to wrap my brain around. One minute there is something alive and moving with a purpose and intention of its own, and the next there is only an empty shell, and the motivating force or spirit has vanished. Where does it go?

Librarese

2008-06-10T15:33:00.001-04:00

We signed up for one library's summer reading program today. The other library's starts on Monday. (We like to double dip.) You might think that on an information sheet done by librarians, they'd know that "bazaar" is not a description of a strange and wondrous thing, or that "leaches" don't lurk in stagnant water. You might think so, but you'd be wrong.

Picture This (Part 654)

2008-06-05T11:01:00.009-04:00

We found some plates that were made somewhere besides China! (Italy in this case.) MuNKi is semi-embracing my desire to get completely mismatched dishes. My logic is that we can get a bunch of interesting stuff and if something breaks, we simply find another interesting setting. I know stacking won't be the greatest, but who cares? MuNKi liked these enough that he bought a bunch, though. I don't think he's quite on the same page I am.

Lamb's ears. Not deceptively fuzzy. They really are as soft as they look.

I wish I could make the lilac one scratch 'n' sniff.

Cookies, cookies, cookies! They look better than they tasted, IMO. But MuNKi liked them.

This tastes pretty good though. ^_^

So if you put chive flowers in a jar of vinegar (with some plastic wrap under the lid to prevent corrosion) . . .

it turns into this!

Emmett is always such a help in quilting.

He's practicing for his role in the upcoming Puss in Footwear here.

Trillian, on the other hand, contents herself with helping to change the lightbulbs.

Tashiya brought only one of her three babies this day. (Or maybe it's Winona. I'll have to ask Mollusc.)

Awww! Who could say no to a face like this? Well, besides Egan. ;-) (photo credit goes to Mollusc)

And yeah, I'm being brave and posting a pic of my haircut.

I think I look slightly less liney outside. Thanks to Mollusc for the first pic and Fishy for the second. :)

Schtick Lit

2008-06-04T11:53:00.006-04:00

Originally titled "STFU Stanley!" Gardner Books has decided to go with a slightly less in-your-face title for this award-winning children's story. Aimed at toddlers, the shiny board book with drool-friendly pages is sure to be a crowd pleaser as Zacky the Zebra teaches children in no uncertain terms how to be seen but not heard.

Dr. Evil calls it "the best book I ever read!"

Be sure to buy your copy today.

If

2008-06-02T21:29:00.004-04:00

If I were to get off my lazy ass (well, ON it, I guess would be more appropriate) and make a new post, it would go right here.

And if I were to post pics, they would probably be about here.

And here (but further down.)

But I'm too lazy.

My soap is curing in the kitchen. The whole place smells like spearmint and it's just lovely.

I made more cookies from the Martha book and chive vinegar (for consumption) and lemon/orange vinegar for the laundry. What a shame I'm too lazy to post.

More Than a Bumblebee, More Than an Ant. . .

2008-05-28T22:47:00.010-04:00

So much has been going on! We went to see Eddie Izzard on May 20th, which was great. First we ate at a topless restaurant. I didn't really get it, because everyone was wearing clothes, but our server announced that it was a "topless-style restaurant" so I feigned understanding and considered removing my top. No one else did, though, so I followed suit and remained overdressed. The place where we ate was directly across from the Detroit Opera House, where Eddie was playing, so after our meal, we meandered over there and gawped at the goodies. MuNKi asked to see a shirt in a Women's medium, which earned him all kinds of weird looks. Now that is incredibly silly, because it's EDDIE IZZARD, Man, and why WOULDN'T a guy be buying a woman's shirt? But I digress.

Here's the thing. iPhones should be banned from Opera Houses. So should innattentive bitches who (for some unfathomable reason) don't want to be there anyway and insist on playing with said iPhone throughout the entire show, thus scarring the retinas of everyone behind her with the blinding glare of the screen. How I wanted to give that chick an iSmack in the back of the head! I mimed doing it once or twice, but she didn't seem to pick up on my wrath vibe.

There was a mass (OK not mass, but largish) exodus from the show a few minutes in. I'm not sure whether it was Eddie's weird theories on God (doubtful, since Detroit is such a Godforsaken place ;-) ), his disappointing lack of drag, or the fact that they had wandered into the wrong theatre. It wasn't one of those "we're season ticket holders and we had no clue what we were in for" things, because Eddie wasn't included in the season package. Maybe they had already seen it all on YouTube.

Our Memorial Day Weekend included a day of soapmaking with the lovely Erica and her friend, the Soaping Goddess, followed by too much fantastic guacamole (made by the Soaping Goddess) and a barbecue, followed by a ceremonial scorching of marshmallows over a fire, and the sacrifice of many of said marshmallows to the Fire-Pit God. My children love fire. They love putting things into fire and taking them out again and then, yes, putting them back in. (in a sort of Eeyore-with-his-balloons-and-honey-pot way, but with quite a bit more drama) They love using toasting forks until the prongs glow like a cauterizing eyeball-gouger-outer, and they love flaming marshmallows. Mollusc had to get hosed off a couple of times. (She's my dainty one. OK, not so much.)

Monday brought the arrival of people I had never met before who had come to stay the night. OK, so I was a little stressed about that. But it all worked out.

And then, somehow, some strange how, it was Wednesday. I'm not sure what happened there. I do know that I should go see if MuNKi has managed to make the 3rd period of the Wings game appear on the wall.

I also have some bars of soap that I plan to sniff a lot and try not to eat.

Wheeeeee!

2008-05-21T22:03:00.002-04:00

It really looks like the orca is having a great time. ^_^

So my Q is: orca toy or llama spittee?

Cookies, Cookies, Cookies!!

2008-05-20T10:12:00.004-04:00

Yesterday we picked up this book at the library.

I went off to teach class last night, then stayed and did my class. When I got home, the kitchen was clean and Mollusc had made these:

YUM!

Chop Shop

2008-05-17T09:13:00.002-04:00

I need a haircut. Just in the last week or so, my hair suddenly reached the point where I can't stand it anymore. I've been trying to figure out whether I can get 10 inches lopped off (so I can donate) and still pull it back, because I can't stand it in my face either. It seems like a waste to get less off and not donate, so I'm having them whack off 10" regardless. Now I have to surf some sites and figure out if there's any sort of cut I want to aim for. Like they'll look the same on me, anyway. Ha. Maybe I'll just do a Britney.

Prawnie and Fishy are testing today. They know their stuff, but of course Nervous Mama is hoping they don't seize up for the test. :)

Ancora Imparo

2008-05-16T08:44:00.008-04:00

I'm teaching myself Latin.

"Wait," you say. "If you already know enough Latin to teach it to yourself, what do you have to learn?"

Ummmm. . .

€

2008-05-14T15:12:00.002-04:00

I can make a Euro sign with this keyboard.

That is all.

Willoughby Wallaby Weenis

2008-05-12T21:11:00.007-04:00

the elephant went to Venus, Willoughby Wallaby Wuranus, the elephant saw Uranus.

Yeah, we've been having too much fun with that song. I laughed so hard I nearly wrecked the car on the way to the co-op, and I can't even remember what we came up with that set me off.

Tonight's Little Kid class was pandelirium. 23 kids. Oy! Actually, it was fun, and not too crazy. I don't think I screwed anyone up, and I remembered everyone's name, so that's good. :) To be honest, kid names are easy for me; it's the parents' I can never remember. It was also the traditional Monday night DadFest, which it hasn't really been pretty much since I mentioned here how I enjoyed perving at them. So obviously they found my blog and were horrified and made a pact to mostly stay away until now. Bummer.

I also kicked one of the fathers in the butt tonight. I don't know what came over me. It was just a reaction. He put out his hand for a high 5, and thinking it odd, but not wanting to snub him I went for it, so of course he pulled it away (shoulda seen that coming) and my natural reaction was to smack him and kick him in the butt. (lightly! lightly! Not hard. I'm not mean like that.) Yikes. I don't think I offended him, though. I hope not anyway.

I watched PS I Love You last night, which, while being a glorious ManFest (including some full backal nudity) and pretty entertaining, probably did not garner the sympathy from me that it was supposed to for the main character. She was just such a high maintenance, neurotic bitch that I thought her hubby was better off dead. But there were bits that reminded me of my dad (the knowing the end is nigh stuff) so they were a little tear-jerky. Harry Connick Jr.'s character was bloody entertaining, too. ^_^

I got a new book called Garden Spells that I'm loving, and I finished The Camel Club, which was fantastic. The twist on the terrorist attack was brilliant. I'm also listening to Twilight, so I'm finally finding out what all the hoopla is about.

Oh, and the Master taught us a new Black Belt one-step sparring tonight. I can't wait to show MuNKi. It's cool!

The Six Word Memoir Meme

2008-05-12T01:43:00.005-04:00

Nothing I could write would be a poignant as Hemingway's 6 word story, which, as legend has it was "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." IMO that's his most brilliant work. (To be honest, I haven't liked any of his wordier stuff.) But since I was tagged by the lovely Claire, I'll give it a crack.

Here goes.

*clears throat*

*cracks knuckles*

*gets sidetracked and cleans the fridge*

(You know, if that was shorter, that would sum up my writing process.)

~~Disgustingly happy family junkie loves creating~~

Oh look! A chicken! (hey that could be another one for me, and only 4 words cuz I might get distracted after that. . .)

Tick, tick, tick, tick

2008-05-08T10:13:00.005-04:00

~The "replace all" feature in my word processor makes me feel powerful. Very powerful.

~Sometimes too much power is a bad thing. Such as when I do something like replacing "Amina" with "Chopra" and end up with words like "contChopration."

~I procrastinate writing by looking for new wallpaper for the computer. I tell myself it will be inspiring. Sometimes it is, but not usually for the right reasons.

~My teakettle doesn't whistle; it moans. This has disturbed me for years.

~When I come up with a new idea for a story I putz around on the computer doing all kinds of weird crap (see this post) before I write. I'm not sure if this is pure, unadulterated procrastination, or if the story seed is actually germinating in my brain while I do this.

~I don't feel my age. At all.

~I love the internet. I love being able to hear a song in a film, look it up, and print out the sheet music for free. (I'm generally drawn to the public domain classical stuff.)

~Playing the piano is a great way to procrastinate/germinate. Hunting for new sheet music doubly so.

~I love tax whatever-they're-called checks. It's time for a laptop! :-) (I gave mine to Mollusc for her b-day)

Unh?

2008-05-05T23:00:00.005-04:00

I'm not sure when it became cool to trash on boys and men here in the States. I know it's been a long time, but I'm curious about the origins of the tradition. I've pretty much had it with that whole thing. One of Sluggie's friends sent her a YouTube clip from some kid show (a Nick show I think) and it was (from the sounds of it) 2 boys talking (or reading?) about why boys are not stupid. But of course they were being very stupid and disproving their own point. I made her turn it off. Grrrr! You don't see people getting away with calling girls and women stupid, but make it a boy or a man and ha ha ha, there's mirth all around.

I know that boys face a lot of prejudice in school these days, and I'm so glad that Fishy isn't being hampered by that. I'm also grateful that there's no one to pressure me to put him on meds just for acting like a boy so that he can become a nice, quiescent little zombie instead.

That's my deepish thought for the day. Now for something fluffy.

Bras.

Why is it that it's so freakin' hard to find a bra without a life of its own these days? Seriously. Go to any bra section in any store, and see how many bras are living complete little lives with their own phantom boobies right there on the rack. I want bras that do NOT have their own personality -- bras that to NOT ask my boobies to assume their identity. (--tity. ha.) Bras that do not jut out past my boobies and belittle them for not filling the cup. And also bras that do not mould my boobies into weird pyramids in some sort of Egyptian homage sort of thing. Even the wee tiny little A cups have minds of their own. What's up with that?

Oh and by the way, WTF was that terrifying monstrosity next to the strapless bras? I couldn't find a pic online, but suffice it to say that it would have made a nice hump-cozy for a Bactrian camel. If you want to see for yourself, I think you're out of luck, but you might enjoy a Google search for "gigantic strapless bra" just to see the weird crap it pulls up, like Johnny Depp, groomsmen's neckties, strollers, and ice cream drumsticks. Or you can go look at the boobie bags made by Faveo.

We got to play kick the bottle at TKD tonight. (an empty little water bottle suspended from the ceiling) It was great fun, but both my buns need a massage now. Or maybe I just need a "Buttocks Bra."

Green Grow the Rushes-O

2008-05-02T12:41:00.012-04:00

Sluggie got hit on in the library yesterday. She came to me all giggly and embarrassed about a teenage boy who had asked her to come sit by him at the computers to play Runescape. In case you have trouble keeping track Sluggie is my 10 year old. :-P It's really incredible to watch my girls climbing onto the cusp of womanhood -- carefree kids one moment, and so grown up another, with all that giggly in-between stuff thrown in for good measure.

May is here in typical Midwest fashion. You'd think that with 26 years experience in the Midwest, I wouldn't be foolish enough to think that after the first 80 degree day it would never be cold again, but I'm still learning. We had our classic warm teasers and plunged right back into the 30s. Today we're back in the 60s. At least it's heading in the right direction.

The tulips are blooming. I had kind of forgotten about them.

And some little pinky white things are out, too. I don't know what they are, but they make enchanting little faerie carpets through the grass and woods.

The Littles are playing outside, though it's thundering now. Excitement runs high!

Mollusc got braces and a palate expander on Tuesday. She's still at the "can't chew" phase, which totally sucks. Hopefully she'll be able to chew in a week or so. Food suggestions are welcome!

Yin and Yang

2008-04-30T23:31:00.004-04:00

I saw a great movie (see below) and so it must follow that a pretty awful one must come next. The kids and I just watched The Golden Compass. Oy! First the good. It was a beautiful film, by which I mean that it had pretty settings, costumes and people, though the overall lighting and colour could have been better in a lot of scenes. In addition, it was well-acted, and I very much appreciated the lack of gore. That said, this is quite possibly the Worst Book to Film Translation Ever. I don't even know where to start. The whole thing felt choppy and rushed (probably because it was!) and so much was changed -- even the rival bear king's name! -- that it was ludicrous. Maybe it would have helped not to have read the book at all. Or maybe it would have made it more confusing. Not even the lovely Daniel Craig (what little there was of him) could redeem this story, which is sad, because it's a pretty compelling story in its book form. But during the film I just kept rolling my eyes and hoping it would end. When finally, mercifully, it did, it wasn't even in the right place. WTF?

Gah!

Happiness is. . .

2008-04-30T08:58:00.009-04:00

. . . a Good Movie. I'm so glad I grabbed this one at the library. A wonderful, thought-provoking story, beautiful people; what's not to love? It fits very well into my Jane Austen phase.

. . . a Good Book. I love the way Gregory Maguire can turn a phrase. I appreciate the writing as much as the story, and you don't come across books like that very often.

. . . a Good Reader. I mentioned earlier that I was listening to Octavian Nothing. At that point I was only a little way in and found it. . . interesting. Well, it's progressed from interesting to fascinating. Peter Francis James is a fantastic reader. In fact, I'm choosing my next audio book by looking for something he reads. I could listen to him all day.

. . . and a Basket of Warm Kitty >^_^<

Testy

2008-04-29T12:26:00.024-04:00

What happens when your sisters volunteer at the library and are tasked to peel all the NEW stickers off the books.

He made quite a splash.

Wee little daffodilly things

and grape hyacinths

Never let anyone persuade you to plant an "ornamental pear tree." The blossoms stink like fish. This one was here when we bought the house.

I made a bunch of goodie bags for Mollusc's B-day.

And on Thursday, we went to a book signing by Erin Hunter at Nicola's bookstore in Ann Arbor. Our Line # was 185, so there was a lot of waiting around without even the hope of any books to be bought since it was the day before payday. Talk about torture.

We ended up walking down the strip to the pet store and seeing some very adorable kittens who came dangerously close to coming home with us. And I found an awesome scrapbooking store. Danger, danger! When we went back to Nicola's it wasn't all that long before we got to the front of the line.

Now we'll see if the pics are clicky.

Sew Tiny

2008-04-23T21:12:00.003-04:00

So today was a sewing day for me. First I made something I can't show, cuz it's for Mollusc's b-day and sometimes she reads my blog. :) Then I tried a new (free) pattern and did this:

That involved a lot of swearing and picking out and restitching and, finally, chucking the thing across the room and starting over. Then I did this:

Size 0-3 mos

and this:

size 3-6 mos.

By then it was time to kick back

and have a cup of tea. Here's some for you. Hope you like Blackberry Sage. :)