in the ghetto

I live here

2008-08-05T23:13:00.001-07:00

This is where I go to work out. You can kind of see me in the hat.

At the car wash

2008-06-11T20:13:00.001-07:00

summer concert series begins...

2007-05-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

ben gibbard. special guest jenny lewis. lots of smiles.

oh brother...

2007-05-16T09:02:00.000-07:00

i have a brother. he is currently a worship pastor in big bear lake, california.

i cry every time i am in the congregation and he is leading worship. every time.

this past weekend i had the chance to be lead into worship by him. i was visiting my family for mother's day. i realized half way through the first song that my mom was staring at me. later in the day she told me that i have always looked at my brother in a certain way. since i was a little girl i would look at him and smile - she says it makes her feel good that i still look at aaron with the same smile.

this made me think about why i cry when my brother leads worship. this is difficult because i struggle with the thought of "worship" in most churches - the feeling that i'm at a concert. the idea that the congregation feels as though they need to do nothing else in their act of worship except sing some songs...

anyway, back to my brother. why do i cry? it takes me back to junior high...

when i was in junior high my brother started to learn how to play the guitar. he picked it up pretty quickly and was soon shutting himself in his room and playing for hours. he started to get VERY good.

i remember many nights laying on my bed in the room next to him listening to him play. it was awesome - my own personal concert. he would play and sing for hours. i loved it.

one night he accidentally left his door open a little. i sat in the hallway to try and get a peak at him. he was so consumed with playing that he didn't notice me opening the door a bit more. i remember watching him. his eyes closed, hands traveling up and down the guitar and his voice projecting to the room. that was when i first realized what worship was. no, he wasn't playing a worship song. he was playing "one" by U2. it was his presence, his emotion, his total commitment to what he was singing and playing.

when my brother leads worship now, fifteen years later he still has that look. he hasn't lost it. when i see him on stage it is as if he is sitting in his room at the age of sixteen playing the hell out of his guitar. committed to what he is saying. believing in the power that is moving through him. in awe of who he is worshiping.

i'm sure people appreciate my brother's worship leading skills, his musical ability and his all around artistic nature. i'm sure some people think he is full of it and want him to go away... i don't think aaron is perfect. we disagree a lot. we argue. he is a flawed man (and i a flawed woman). but, i appreciate the absolute innocence that he brings - that i know he is up there, before everyone, taking them to a place that he isn't afraid to go himself. he would do the same thing if he were in his room all by himself. it gives me hope for church. it really does.

that is my brother.

2007-04-17T19:21:00.000-07:00

my spring break was awesome for several reasons:

day one - new york
-world trade center memorial
-coffee in the financial district
-wall street
-staten island (to see the statue of liberty)
-brooklyn bridge (walked half way across)
-coney island for a nathan's original hot dog
-greenwich village
-NYU
-soho (where i dropped lots of money at this great record store)
-empire state building
-madison square garden
-classic new york pizza

day two - new york
-today show, rockefeller center
-trip to the top of rockefeller plaza (amazing views of the city)
-radio city music hall
-st. patricks cathedral
-5th avenue
-trump towers
-sony store
-apple store (amazing)
-walk through central park
-the met
-harlem
-columbia university (loved this school)
-times square
-bryant park
-new york public library
-search for now closed CBGB's
-dinner at bubbies in tribeca

day three - travel from new york to boston
-stop at yale university
-drive to newport, rhode island
-drive to providence, rhode island
-stop at brown university
-drive to cape cod
-pull into boston around 8:00 p.m.

day four - boston
-breakfast at dunkin' donuts
-water shuttle to charleston
-climbed bunker hill memorial
-faneuil hall marketplace
-walk portion of freedom trail
-lunch at cheers (no one knew my name)
-public gardens and boston common
-walk down newbury street
-walk to beacon hill
-trip to boston college (in the pouring rain/sleet)
-dinner at giacomis (amazingly good italian food)
-mike's pastry's for some original boston cream pie

day five - boston
-northeastern university
-boston university
-cambridge
-harvard
-MIT
-shopping downtown
-fenway park to watch the red sox beat the angels

day six - travel home
-luggage lost by american airlines

day seven - home
-luggage still lost

day eight - still home
-luggage still lost

day nine - home, still
-luggage finally delivered

i'm pretty sure we say in five days what it takes many people a month to experience. great trip. glad to finally have my luggage back.

is this seat taken?

2007-04-08T14:13:00.000-07:00

so - went to church this morning...

from the back of the church i spot a seat. it's on the end. i walk towards it as i approach i see a woman give me the evil eye. as i got even closer she stares me down and says "taken".

service is beginning. i see another open seat. i walk toward it. what is that? a bulletin on the seat and the one next to it... bulletins on the entire row. two men mid-row solemnly lift their heads to tell me they are all saved.

we are now half way through the first worship song. people are finding their seats. greeting family. i am alone. seemingly walking in circles to find an open spot.

out of the corner of my eye i spot an opening. but it is located in the middle of the row. i am committed, though. i'll climb over people. i'm here for church. the first worship song is ending. the pastor is greeting people. i begin to crawl over a row of annoyed church goers. as i begin my descent to the aforementioned seat someone gets to it from the other side. crap.

at this point i crawl back over the annoyed family. look around one last time. then - i sneak out the back.

easter service was spent at my favorite coffee shop near the hermosa pier sipping an orange dreamsicle drink and journaling about the easter season. thank you hope chapel for being too full for me and allowing me to be contemplative in a coffee shop with my favorite drink.

i leave for new york city tonight. spring break should be great. new york. then to boston. then home. plane leaves at nine o'clock tonight.

yeah.

ha ha ha ha hee hee hee

2007-04-05T18:09:00.000-07:00

this made me laugh today...

four eyes

2007-04-04T10:37:00.000-07:00

by the way - went to the eye doctor. i have been bad to my eyes and he is requiring three days without contacts. my one vanity out the window. how many students will call me "four eyes" today?

2007-03-26T15:51:00.000-07:00

The search.
I have spent years away from the church. Not away from God or community but away from church. I grew up there. It is the “family business” so to speak. Dad is a pastor, brother is a pastor, I am not a pastor. I have avoided the place for a few years now. I will have sporadic attendance somewhere. I like going to church on the beach, for instance. I am finally realizing that it is time for me to face whatever it is that I have been avoiding. To finally ask myself why I have been avoiding it. I am sure it has less to do with "the church" and more to do with me, my heart, my past/present/future. I don't miss church. I don't wake up on Sunday and wish I was headed to hear the next Sermon on the Mount. I just don't understand where it stopped for me. Why it stopped for me. Why I like Jesus so freaking much and yet I hate the church. Hate is a strong word and I must say that I really do mean it. I'm going to try some of those "emerging" churches. Some "orthodox" churches. Where do I fit? Do I fit? Do I have to fit? does it really matter? Here is my journey. I want it to be honest and real. These are both things that I haven't found in church yet. Here is my first of many experiences. Mosaic church - lots of hype, wondering what it is all about.

Mosaic – March 25, 2007
5:00 service: The Mayan Downtown L.A.

I was definitely in a night club – low lights, fog machine, people with head microphones instead of real ones. Here is how the night went down:

1. Video Presentation
-it was a little intro into “Soul Cravings”
2. Dance – that’s right a dance
-people dressed as robots
-fog machine
-I didn’t get it
3. Video Montage of Erwin speaking: Soul Cravings
4. Video Short
-guy and girlfriend in car talking to fast food speaker
-tie in to craving intimacy but battle dysfuntion
5. Dance – another one
-Plumb song “Can you Hear Me?”
-still didn’t understand the significance
6. Video Montage: Erwin: Intimacy Part One
7. Music
-acoustic guitar, singer = incredible
8. Video Montage: Erwin: Intimacy Part Two
9. Testimonial Video
-speaking of the past (drugs/teenage pregnancy) and the future
10. Dance:
-Lauren Hill’s “Zion” (fog machine again)
-main dancer was son from aforementioned video testimonial
11. Video Montage: Erwin: Destiny
12. Music
-drum track in the background, guy on acoustic
13. Video Montage: Erwin
14. Video Short: Laundry
15. Testimonial Video: Depression and Community
16. Music
-live band/fog machine/back ground visuals
17. Video Montage: Erwin: Meaning Part Two
18. Video Short: Finding God
19. Dancing – this time with signs
20. Closing guy
-story about pursuing waiter. Waiter avoids him. Waiter contacts him because his “soul” desired to

No one spoke to me - no one even noticed I was there. This is common with most churches. I didn't let that stop me or bring me down. I approached a few people afterwards at the "Ten Minute Party" where first time visitors were directed. I think I spoke with someone straight out of greeter training.
Greeter: Hello, I don't think I have seen you before - my name is __________
Me: yeah, this is my first time
Greeter: What is your name and where are you from?
Me: Katie, Hermosa Beach.
Greeter: Wow, so nice to meet you.
It went on and on - almost out of a script. Pretty funny. It is good that they are training people on how to approach them. I thought it was sweet.
The stage was filled with art work. The lights were low. Having not been to the last eight weeks I don’t think I fully understood the “culminating event” that I walked into. I will attend again on a "normal" Sunday. The greeter that I spoke to said that this was not normal.

death cab for cutie

2006-12-11T18:58:00.000-08:00

as i told co-workers, parents and friends that i was going to a "death cab for cutie" concert most of them looked as me as though i was heading to a death metal show. little do they understand and little do they know. the death cab show last tuesday was nothing short of amazing. jenny lewis and the watson twins opened with a great set and, wait for it, a costume change. how many opening acts do you know that have a costume change? then it was time in the uci gym for the main event. they came, they played and they impressed me once again. my favorite part had to be when they brought out a drum set for the lead singer and the drummer and the lead singer had a big drum off in the middle of the show. these guys have wicked talent.

damien rice

2006-12-10T16:40:00.000-08:00

aaron, emily and i went to see damien rice at the orpheum on friday night. he was incredible - drugged, i think - but incredible.

guitar hero

2006-11-14T20:10:00.000-08:00

this past weekend some of my favorite people came to visit. my brother is one of those people... we re-visited our youth and played video games together. guitar hero, although new, is quickly becoming one of my favorite video games ever. right up there with mike tyson's punch out, tony hawk 3, and tetris.

play it, love it.

top ten things you never want to hear from a twelve year old

2006-11-06T21:11:00.000-08:00

here are some comments i've heard in the past month - from kids - they are twelve. in no particular order:

1. i think i'm pregnant
2. i'll bring a gun
3. i'm questioning my sexuality
4. my boyfriend is eighteen
5. my parent's had to call the cops on me... again
6. i have a warrant for my arrest
7. look at the tattoo my brother gave me in the garage last night
8. i pierced my tongue at lunch yesterday
9. i haven't been home in a week
10. i hate you

seriously - some people's kids...