Blog Cabins: Movie Reviews and Commentary Made Fun

So, who's ready for The Wicker Man Returns?

2009-11-03T16:00:00.001-07:00

The original title of Nicolas Cage's 1994 film It Could Happen to You was Cop Gives Waitress Two Million Dollar Tip. I can't think of anything more ironic. Cage is currently married to a former waitress and, as the video below explains in great detail, is wildly in need of that two million dollars back.

Seriously, though: all this hullabaloo about a broke (whaa! whaa!) Cage is, although on the surface quite pleasing to me, really just a sad p.r. move or something. Aside from constantly getting paid millions of dollars (I chronicled many of his upcoming projects a few months ago, many of which have been released by now), we're told how he's had to sell mansion after castle after mansion in order to pay off his IRS debts. I'm no math major, but six million in back taxes versus 30-some million in sold (or on the market) real estate properties tells me that the former Mr. Coppola will be alright, even if (God forbid!) he has to sell them for a loss. Guess what, buddy - it's a shitty economy. Everyone's that's selling is selling their homes for a loss these days.

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #4

2009-11-03T12:30:00.006-07:00

Last Week's Results: Myherobobhope practically swept the round, nailing 7/15 right out of the gate.

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 15 movie plots, torn down to their basest base, and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff." All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes. The difficulty level for this edition has hopefully been kicked up a notch, from "pretty damn easy" to "damn, a lot of these are pretty friggin' vague."

1. Dudes are kinda clueless; manage to do important stuff anyway.
2. Dude has to look after dudettes and little dude.
3. Dude feels bad for all the stuff he used to do.
4. Dude really wants to do stuff. Being better than his brother at stuff is a perk, too.
5. Dudes team up and do some pretty gay stuff.
6. Little dude goes forward in time; just wants to go home and stuff.
7. Dude is awesome at counting stuff.
8. Incredibly stupid stuff happens.
9. Dude now has the ability to do all the stuff he wants.
10. Dude talks to another dude about a lot of stuff.
11. Dude hates new dudes and dudettes and their stuff.
12. Little dude becomes a star amongst big dudes.
13. Dude listens to a really long story about two other dudes.
14. Dude loses stuff; learns he didn't really need it after all.
15. Dude gets really pissed off, does a lot of wacky stuff.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
Myherobobhope - 1.5
BD79 - 1
Nic Cage - .5

Correct answers so far:
1. Spies Like Us (Myherobobhope)
2.
3. American History X (Jason Soto)
4.
5. Blades of Glory (Myherobobhope)
6. Flight of the Navigator (Jess)
7. 21 (Alex)
8.
9. Bruce Almighty (BD79)
10. Frost/Nixon (Justin)
11.
12. Rookie of the Year (Univarn)
13.
14.
15. Falling Down (BD79)

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#65)

2009-11-01T11:22:00.005-07:00

If you're the first person to see this and you don't get it, you might as well just stop playing the game. They don't get much easier than this...

Standings:
J.D. - 12
Fletch - 11
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79, Rachel - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

TGITDNMAR (10/30/09)

2009-10-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

(This) Is it just me, or has this been a pretty rotten year overall at the movies? The Academy's move to 10 Best Picture nominees is looking worse and worse by the day. Any number of projections for the films most likely to be included are filled with movies yet to be released, and though they may be the case every year, I feel like there are typically at least a handful of surefire nominees released at this point. Meanwhile, of the films that have come out, could you even make a list of five nominees? The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, and Up are about all that come to mind. Precious, The Lovely Bones, Nine...no pressure, you guys.

This Is It
The media hype machine has been all over this one, with the producers of the film seemingly intent on convincing us of its commercial success more than its artistic merit prior to its arrival. I'm surprised they didn't market it as "the top grossing concert film of the year" before today; of course, it's sure to reach that distinction, but only due to a lack of competition.

Meanwhile, I have to wonder (I'm sure the answer is out there somewhere): was this film planned prior to Jackson's death, or was it culled from standard making-of footage on the quick in order to capitalize on Jacko's demise? It may indeed by that the former is the case, but it sure feels like the latter.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

Gentleman Broncos
Whereas Jack Black felt (and was, to a point) all wrong for Napoleon Dynamite director Jared Hess's ND follow-up, Flight of the Conchords star Jemaine Clement feels just right. It's no coincidence; Clement's last starring vehicle, Eagle vs. Shark, sure looked like the successor to Napoleon. Back in the US and with the help of a more rounded cast, including Sam Rockwell, Jennifer Coolidge and Mike White, Hess seems to be back on track. I'm more than willing to find out.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 89%

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
The little sequel that could. Long a cult hit with an army of rabid fans, Boondock Saints finally gets it sequel, a decade after the original came and left theaters. Surely stars Sean Patrick Flannery and Norman Reedus were game; their careers haven't really gone anywhere since the first, starring mostly in B movies and nabbing bit parts in TV shows and higher profile films. Chances are, you're either dying to see this or could not care less; I'm somewhere in the middle, having neither great love or distaste for the original. Though even if you are dying to see it, you probably won't get the chance - this one doesn't seem to be getting all that wide a release either. I smell a cult hit all over again!
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 12%

Survivor: Samoa Episode 7 Recap/Live Blog

2009-10-29T18:55:00.007-07:00

So...who's gonna die tonight? Are you ready for some football? Well tough, but Survivor seems to always be good for some rough play. Off we go...

7:01: We're coming to you live from Eric's fabulous Tree Cave Hole Thing. Slightly ingenious, but mostly weird. Cracks me up every time I see him in there.

7:02: Uh-oh...someone just said "bros before hos" - time to take another shot. Time to change the game - we will now take shots for every time they show Eric in his Tree Cave Hole. I expect to be drunk by the midway point.

7:07: You know what the best thing is about the next episode after an episode where no one was voted out? We get equal time for each tribe at the start of the show. How refreshing.

7:09: Ingenious plan by the Galu guys making ShamWow their new "leader" (there's a Leadership Necklace? WTF?!?). This ought to equal some high, high comedy.

7:10: You know what's one thing that I never, ever needed to see in this lifetime? ShamWow's armpit hair. Kill me quickly.

7:11: The reward is lunch on a boat? And the contestants are thrilled? Sounds like a sh*tty reward to me. You're on an island! You see the ocean every friggin' day; whoopity do if it happens to be from a boat! Sure, the lunch is sure to be nicer than their normal diet of rice and unspiced fish, but I can think of many much better challenges (shower with spa, tools, a toilet, etc.).

7:13: If someone gets injured playing Memory, it might be time to cancel the show...

7:14: Going back a minute or two...um, since Shambo is sitting out of the challenge, she had to assign a decision maker for the tribe? What is going on here - when did this show turn into preschool? Of course, an amusing bit of course did ensue when her choice was immediately poo-pooed by Kevin Spacey, after which Sham immediately acquiesced. Some leader.

7:16: A few minutes ago, Mrs. Fletch mentioned that the blonde girl on Galu that we've barely seen or heard from looks like Scarlett Johansson. True that. Strange, then, that she is the lone invisible player remaining. CBS, why aren't you spotlighting this person? Of course, this gives me an excuse to put up a ScarJo picture, so win-win.

7:18: Of course, as I'm typing that, Invisigirl is given a spotlight in the confessional. Her name is Kelly! Hi Kelly, nice to meet you.

7:19: In case you couldn't tell, I didn't care much for that challenge. Bo-ring. I did enjoy watching ShamWow attempt to hold back her smirk when she sent the player she most hates, Laura, off to the other camp, thereby missing out on the reward. I'm no ShamLover, but Laura, who hates ShamWow as well, really looks like a bitch. I'm glad she got sent.

7:23: "I'm a womens' minister. I don't want to be a pastor of men; I don't think that's a woman's role," says Laura. No wonder I don't like her - I can think of about eight reasons just in that sentence why I don't like her.

7:25: Brilliant, Russell. Laura's not there 10 minutes (seemingly) and he's all over her like white on rice, working his cajun mojo charm.

7:26: Monica reminds me of a former Survivor player, but I have no idea whom.

7:26: See? They go out on this supposed reward, and what happens? They're put to work and fed beef stew. I'd have rather not gone. Jerks.

7:34: Women are so funny. If I were in Shambo's shoes (or Laura's) and my hated rival just got back from an exile of sorts, the last thing I'm doing is giving him a hug.

7:35: Shambo's been there for two weeks and she barely knows John's name. I don't feel so bad now.

7:35: This episode is really starting to piss me off. Jeff just bitched at Foa Foa because no one was wearing the vaunted Leadership Necklace. Heaven forbid! Thank goodness they told him that they did, in fact, still have an All-Hallowed Leader and that they merely felt the necklace was bad luck. Jeff was about to tattle on them to Principal Belding or something like that.

7:40: That looked like one of the harder puzzles that the game team has drawn up. Galu wins again! Liz...Jaison...who will be going home? I'll stick with Liz; Russell might be pissed at Jaison, but losing teams always seem to stick to the "we need men for the challenges!" tactic.

7:42: Just thought of this: Laura's a pastor, ShamWow's a lesbian. Might explain their distaste for each other. Just maybe.

7:48: So is that guy Mick the anti-Jack Shephard or the uber-Jack Shephard? All I know it, he's the most boring island doctor in pop culture history. I could not care less about him one way or another. C'mon, Professor, make a radio or something with that big brain of yours.

7:51: Jaison: "I actually do feel like I have some large responsibility in these losses." Dude! There are only five of you - if you lose a challenge, you're essentially guaranteed a 20% share in that responsibility! Suck ass like you did and all of a sudden (whaddaya know?) your share hikes up closer to 50%. So yeah, I'd say you were pretty responsible. Dummy. I have 80% turned on Jaison.

7:53: However, my supersmarts were correct yet again. The weakest female (Liz) was voted out yet again. Sadly, she will not be missed by anyone.

7:55: CBS might want to alter the text of the Family Moment when there's only one person doling out that moment. Makes it more depressing than anything. Just say "Liz's brother" or "husband" or whatever.

7:57: Next time on...Survivor Live Blog: a merge and champagne and other craziness. So long as Eric's Tree Cave Hole makes an appearance, it's all good for me.

Survivor news at Survivor.com
Survivor homepage at CBS.com

Just because: The Three Seashells

2009-10-29T10:29:00.001-07:00

A ______ Man

2009-10-28T09:43:00.000-07:00

With A Serious Man still on the brain, I got to thinking, "What might the other Coen Bros. films' be titled had they followed that same structure?"

An Adulterous Woman

A Childless Man

A Tortured Man

An Angst-Ridden Man

A Simple Man

A Desperate Man

A Lazy Man

A Fast-Talking Man

An Invisible Man (sorry, haven't seen it)

A Vain Man

A Pretentious Man

A Disciplined Man

A Perverted Man

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #3

2009-10-27T13:28:00.006-07:00

Last Week's Results: Myherobobhope and Nic Cage finished in a tie with 4 flicks each.

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 15 movie plots (10 wasn't enough, 20 is too many), torn down to their basest base (and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff"). All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes. The difficulty level for this edition has been set to "pretty damn easy," with maybe a wild card or two thrown in for gits and shiggles.

1. Dude looks for shiny old stuff.
2. The place where dudes and dudettes sell stuff is closing. Sad/funny stuff ensues.
3. One dude sells good stuff. His dad hides stuff, then does bad stuff.
4. Dude is good at hitting stuff a long ways.
5. Dudes walk and stuff.
6. Dude lost some really important stuff. Really important stuff.
7. Dude tries to sell stuff but sucks at it.
8. Dude wants his money back. Will do any stuff necessary to get it.
9. Dude likes a dudette who can't remember stuff.
10. Dude learns that all of the stuff he knows is a lie.
11. Dude wasn't even supposed to do stuff today.
12. Dude doesn't want your life.
13. Dude gets woken up. Is all pissy about it.
14. Dude likes his stuff shaken.
15. Dude has never done stuff.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
BD79 - 1
Myherobobhope, Nic Cage - .5

Correct answers so far:
1. Raiders of the Lost Ark (Friend Mouse)
2. Empire Records (Myherobobhope)
3. American Beauty (Myherobobhope)
4. Happy Gilmore (Myherobobhope)
5. Gerry (Bob Turnbull)
6.
7. The Pursuit of Happyness (Steve)
8. Payback (Myherobobhope)
9. 50 First Dates (Myherobobhope)
10. The Truman Show (Wendymoon)
11. Clerks (Myherobobhope)
12. Varsity Blues (Myherobobhope)
13. The Mummy (TheAnswerMVP2001)
14. Die Another Day (Jason Soto)
15. The 40 Year Old Virgin (smacdonn)

Fletch's Film Review: A Serious Man

2009-10-26T12:58:00.007-07:00

I'm not quite sure of how to do a proper review of A Serious Man. It would mostly consist of me using the words "alienated" and "confused," along with a thesaurus full of synonyms for said words, and perhaps some examples of why I felt that way. Instead, I've decided to do a live blog lookback, in which I attempt to recall what was going through my head at certain points of the film, using the minutes into the film as markers. Hopefully, this will give you some insight into how I felt watching the Coen Brothers latest opus.

0:02 - Well, that was an interesting fable. Always nice to see Picket Fences' own Fyvush Finkel getting work, if only because I like saying his name so much. It sounds like the name of a rabbit from some childhood story or something. Speaking of which, here's a fable I just found online that makes loads more sense than the one I just watched:

Some boys, playing near a pond, saw a number of frogs in the water and began to pelt them with stones.
They killed several of them, when one of the frogs, lifting his head out of the water, cried out:
"Pray stop, my boys: what is sport to you, is death to us."

See, that one actually has a meaning that isn't hard to infer, and it relates to my review of the movie.

0:07: Always nice to hear Jefferson Airplane's "Somebody to Love." I know little of the band outside of three songs, two of which are absolutely brilliant ("Love" and "White Rabbit"), the third of which (yeah, yeah, Starship, whatever) is an absolute abomination ("We Built This City"). Anyway, here's a video for your enjoyment:

0:08 - Haha, listen to that! The first of 247 Jewish references/in-jokes that I don't get. Terrific! This is amplified by the fact that Mrs. Fletch and I are apparently some of the only goys in the theater. What's that? You don't know what a goy is? Have no fear - you'll hear the term 92 more times throughout the course of the film; plenty of time for you to pray to Hashem to have him help you figure it out.

0:12 - An Asian kid named "Clive?" I love it.

0:17 - So, the most famous person in this movie is Richard Kind? Really? I mean, I like the guy and all, and I'm not opposed to high-profile films starring relative nobodies...it's just shocking. Shows you the kind of pull (chutzpah?) the Coens have.

0:25 - Say what you will about the relative coherence/excellence of the Coens' collective films (I admire and/or love most of them, though I know they aren't for everyone), is there anyone out there that writes better characters, from their leads down to the bittiest of bit characters? I wish the entire film was about Fred Melamed's character, Sy Abelman; he's as hilarious as he is creepy.

0:42 - Whoa, scratch that bit about Kind - Adam Arkin just popped up, playing a lawyer. He's no Alan, but the man was the star of that medical show that aired opposite ER that nobody watched, Chicago Hope. Advantage Adam.

0:50 - There goes the audience laughing their heads off...at yet another character name. You'd think the name "Solomon Schultz" (or whatever the name was at the time) was Hebrew for "Poopy McFartyPants" and that I was in with an audience of five year olds. Don't mind me sitting here with a blank expression yet again.

0:53 - I have to give it up for the Coens: they kick ass at taking care of the little people that inhabit their films, and do an excellent job at bringing them back time and again, all the while doing it in small, subtle ways that don't make it feel like "The Judd Apatow Gang!" Eagle-eyed Coen watchers will catch both sympathetic Fargo schlub Mike Yanagita (Steve Park) and Barton Fink studio exec Jack Lipnick (Michael Lerner, aka that guy that kinda looks like how Ebert used to look) during Serious.

1:02: OMG - even better. FF-UN potential member George Wyner pops up playing a rabbi. For those unaware, Wyner played the attorney to the former Mrs. Fletch in Fletch and Fletch Lives, which means that I will always welcome his appearance onscreen, even if he was an ass to Fletch. No familiar red Oldsmobuick in sight, however.

1:09: Is this film meant to solidify certain Jewish stereotypes? Am I supposed to sympathize with our protagonist, Larry Gopnik? Wikipedia talks about "his undeserved streak of bad luck." Say WHAT? Bad luck? The guy's a schlub, a ninny, a carpet for those around him to walk all over. I never once felt for his plight.

1:12: I must admit, I appreciated the full frontal of a certain female character. I did not see that one coming.

1:16: In a Jewish film littered with dream sequences, would it have been too much to ask for a Bill Lumbergh sighting? Yeeaahhhh....

1:24: Will Larry do the right thing? Will he get his tenure? Will his child be able to watch F Troop static-free? All these questions and more may or may not be answered, but I most certainly won't care. I've checked out, man.

1:28: I do have two burning questions, however (spoilers ahead). One, if the Gopniks' goy next-door neighbors are so anti-Jew, why do they live in a neighborhood seemingly dominated by them? Also, Larry's kid had his radio taken away whilst listening to "Somebody to Love." Later, the rabbi recites the lyrics and whatnot, referencing said song as if he knew the boy loved it and/or was listening to it. But this was pre-cassette tapes and pre-CDs; the boy was listening to a radio, and the Jeff Airplane song was long since over by the time the rabbi got his hands on the radio. What gives?

1:42: Cool - another ambiguous ending from the Coens. You know they're artsy because they favor endings that make little sense, leaving the audience to come up with their own conclusions for what they just saw. Here's what I saw: a bunch of random shit from their childhood that mattered little to me and made even less sense, featuring a protagonist that I wanted to slap in the face, along with a handful of colorful characters. But at least it all centered on a badass song, right?

Fletch's Film Rating:

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#64)

2009-10-25T12:30:00.006-07:00

Clive pulled out Timeline last week a minimal hint from me. This one ought to be damn near impossible. So I'll give you a big, big hint: it came out in the early 90s.

Standings:
J.D. - 12
Fletch - 11
Wendymoon, Nick, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79, Rachel - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

Podcasting in action!!!

2009-10-24T13:45:00.003-07:00

Sometimes, seeing where the donuts are made just isn't all that it's cracked up to be. Still, I'm willing to pull back the curtain and let you see the magic being created...as it was being created. Oh, the excitement!

Anyway, in the midst of recording the third LAMBcast, Mrs. Fletch barged her way into our podcasting studio (aka the spare bedroom) and snapped this pic of me in action. After I had sent it to my fellow podcasters, Nick of R2D2 was nice enough to "LOLcat it" (that seems like an apt term) with his trademark saying from the podcast. Enjoy...

LAMBcast #3

2009-10-24T11:15:00.001-07:00

Zombies invaded the third edition of the LAMBcast. Also on tap was a little Last Man Standing, some Trailer Talk and more.

In it, I was joined by four of your fellow LAMBs:

* Tom Clift of Plus Trailers,
* Mike Mendez of Big Mike's Movie Blog,
* Nick Jobe of Random Ramblings of a Demented Doorknob, and
* Jason Soto of Invasion of the B Movies.

I hope you'll join us, either as a listener or, if you're interested (and a LAMB), as a fellow podcaster. For more information on the LAMBcast, check out the topic at the LAMB Forums (must be a member of the LAMB to join).

Here's a sampling of what we learned this time out:

* I still can't say "Random Ramblings of a Demented Doorknob" without slipping up - though I got through it once this time.

* When it comes to intelligent, intellectual debate, Nick is king.

* Mike shamed himself further amongst the geek squad by virtue of having seen neither 28 Days/Weeks Later..., yet acquitted himself later, as usual.

* As usual, the music, as provided royalty-free by Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website, is the bomb. Big thanks to Kevin for providing this service.

Additional sites mentioned during the podcast:

* Matte Havoc

You can listen by playing it in the widget in the left sidebar; if you'd like to add it to your site (you would), click the "Add to my page" link. Also, you can find us on iTunes; just go to the Podcasts section and search for "LAMBcast."

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, we'd love to hear them.

TGITDNMAR (10/23/09)

2009-10-23T16:16:00.008-07:00

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Ugh - terrible slate of new releases. You know what that means...time to catch up on artier fare. A Serious Man and/or New York, I Love You ought to be in my near-future.

Saw VI
I assume this series is just going to continue until the number of people interested eclipses the number in the film's title. I am not one of those people; I saw the first, and it was a good concept - it felt fresh. Then they decided to turn it into a series where the bad guy never dies, until he does die and then apparently keeps popping up again and again. Please explain the appeal of watching new and interesting ways for people to be mutilated and killed to me.

Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant
This feels like "good concept, bad execution." Sure, we've all seen loads of vampire movies, but I can't think of too many flicks about a traveling freak show; there seems to be ample opportunity to showcase some interesting characters and coolio effects, but something about this just doesn't feel right, from John C. Reilly as a lead to the boring kid following him around. Plus I read that there's spiders in this, and I'm a real baby about that.

Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 39%

Amelia
Two-time Academy Award winner Hilary Swank. Richard Gere and Ewan McGregor. Serious film director Mira Nair. Epic period piece. This thing has Oscar Contender written all over it, right? Then why is it being released now, and with little to no hype surrounding it?

Survey says...it must not be very good. Not that I'm all that psyched to find out. How 'bout you go and tell me if you liked it, instead.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 4%

Astro Boy
First of all - no, I'm not familiar with the origins of Astro Boy. Remember, I did a post on upcoming Nic Cage flicks some time back and had to be told by someone else that this was even a TV show some 50 years ago. Sorry if it slipped by my pop culture radar...in 1959.

I've read a couple plot synopses for Astro lately. The thing that sticks out to me? It's about a boyish-looking robot created by a scientist that's been alternately described as either "brilliant" or "genius." Need I telll you who's voicing said scientist? Well, wouldn't you know it! It's Nicogoddamnlas Cage!

Anyway, this won't be seen by me.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 2%

Survivor: Samoa Episode 6 Recap/Live Blog

2009-10-22T16:31:00.009-07:00

First of all, I'd like to thank CBS for apparently spoiling the biggest tease of the season thus far. By Sunday night, I'd been told by multiple people who the player was that would be getting injured in a challenge tonight. Secondly, I'd like to thank the producers of Survivor for having yet another challenge wherein someone will be getting injured to the point that they'll be forced to leave the game. Awesome going! There better still be a Tribal Council tonight. Let the show begin...

7:02: Before we get going, a note: Bad Russell will now be referred to as Bald Russell, and Good Russell will be Dread Russell. Then again, such nicknames might not be necessary after tonight's show.

7:03: Does it surprise anyone that Bald Russell thrives off the misery of others, mocking the cold and rain that are plaguing the Samoan refugees? (Hint: it shouldn't.)

7:09: OMG! Brett totally has some chin pubes working! So proud of you, little guy. You've only been out there two weeks or whatever.

7:10: I don't know if Dread Russell was wearing his buff before or something, but I never noticed that he's got a serious "Jerry Rice with cornrows" thing going on. Uh, Dread, when you're balding (and with a weird pattern, at that), perhaps the clean-shaven look is the way to go.

7:12: Allow me translate the 60 seconds of airtime that Bald Russell just gave us regarding his tribemates' handling of the rain into three words: "Man up, pussies!"

7:17: Will this be the challenge where someone nearly dies? Oh, the drama! My guess is no; there's not nearly enough physical activity going on here.

7:19: Um, ok - nevermind that last post. Sounds like there will only be one challenge, what with both tribes going to Council. Let the countdown to catastrophe begin!

7:20: Is someone getting run over by one of those giant balls? Tell me no.

7:23: Spoilers confirmed. It was indeed Dread Russell that will be exiting the game. However, I must offer an apology to the producers; while a strenuous challenge for the four ball pushers, Dread clearly had some medical issue coming into the game that was unforeseen for even him. Not yet back from commercial - hope he's alright.

7:27: Really, is the dramatic "heartbeat" music necessary? This ain't ER, for chrissakes.

7:28: Did Dread have a concussion or stroke or what? What could possibly compel him to think that he's ready to go back to the challenge?

7:31: "Our leader is not here..." I can't recall a season where the "subordinates" were so dependent on their "leaders" as the players are this season. It's bizarre. They're paper leaders, people!

7:33: All snarkiness aside, that really sucked to watch. I feel awful for Dread Russell. Truth is, he'd probably be fine in a couple hours with some decent rest, food and fluids. But the fact remains that it wouldn't be fair for him to have the advantage of those comforts - despite his current state - while his competitors are stuck in the cold and the rain. It's terrible that he has to leave the game, but it also wouldn't be right if he were to be allowed to return.

7:39: How stupid are Natalie and Liz? Here they are, content to vote each other out, together representing TWO-FIFTHS of their tribe, totally fine with the notion that one of them is definitely going home. Meanwhile, they represent TWO-FIFTHS of their tribe!! All they need to do is get one out of three guys on their side and - BAM! - they live to fight another day.

7:42: Meanwhile, Dumbo - er, Shambo - is trying (?) like hell to save her ass, but it's beyond futile. The women hate her, especially Monica. Then again, the guys realize that she's a non-threat to them, while Monica and Laura have a bond of their own. Perhaps it will be interesting after all. But Shambo is just coming off as a weak player here, desperate to save her ass, but doing it all the wrong ways.

7:44: The shots of Eric and/or Shambo peering their head out from their little cave is just killing me. they look like squirrels or something.

7:45: Shambo - the guys are telling you to vote for Monica. Get it through that thick, beautifully-mulleted head of yours.

7:47: While I'll agree that Dread's situation appeared dire, was it really scarier than when Michael Skupin fell face first into a fire? That sh*t was scary.

7:48: FYI: With his beard, Eric no longer looks like Gil Bellows. This makes me just a little bit sad. I love my pop culture nicknames so. Perhaps he'll morph into Dave Matthews or Jack Johnson.

7:50: No Tribal Council?! Boo! I imagine this is what happens when two players are forced to leave the game due to injury; CBS needs its episodes. And though I would have thought it a bit weak to have seen three players leave the game in one episode, I always feel cheated when there's no vote.

7:52: Well, I guess we've seen who the new leader of Galu is: Eric, with a goddamn bullet. "Let's win one for Russ!!!"

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The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #2

2009-10-20T14:42:00.008-07:00

Last Week's Results: BD79 took the win, getting 5/10 movies.

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 20 movie plots, torn down to their basest base (and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff"). All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes. This being the second edition, the difficulty level has been set to "mostly easy," with me by and large choosing well-known flicks, with a few potential stumpers thrown in there.

1. Dude goes back in time to learn stuff. Meets Dudette. Wants to stay.
2. Dudette is unhappy with her life. Does random stuff to dudes and dudettes. Makes her feel better.
3. Dude's ancestor found important stuff. Causes shitstorm for dude.
4. Dude escapes military to fight and stuff.
5. Dude thinks crazy stuff is happening to his ex-dudette. Does wacky stuff to try to save her. Punches a bear.
6. Dudes fear for losing their jobs to rival dudes. Get all hardcore and stuff. Lose but win.
7. Assdudes do bad stuff to little dudette, get stuff comin' to them.
8. Lonely dude marries dudette. Accidentally steals valuable stuff. Honeymoon for dude and dudette.
9. Dude wants to be a more powerful dude. Does bad stuff to become one, including killing his dudette.
10. Dude talks to dude, who talks to other dude, who talks to dudette, who talks to third dude, who talks to...
11. Dude knocks up dudette, who gives birth to weird lookin' little dude. Artsy stuff happens.
12. Dudes lose vehicle; can't remember stuff.
13. Little dudes look for valuable stuff. Bigger dudes chase them.
14. Dumb dude relearns elementary stuff.
15. Dude gets accused of knowing who did bad stuff to important dude's stuff.
16. Dude makes copies of family's stuff; does lots of creepy stuff.
17. Dude is getting too old for this stuff again.
18. Dude teaches younger dude about baseball stuff.
19. Dude creates stuff and invites dudes and dudettes to check it out. Bad stuff happens.
20. Dude learns about the error of his ways. Over and over again. Will do good stuff from now on.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
BD79 - 1

Correct answers so far:
1. 12 Monkeys (Myherobobhope)
2. Amelie (Blake)
3. Transformers (Nick)
4. Bloodsport (Gaylord)
5. The Wicker Man (Myherobobhope)
6. Super Troopers (Gaylord)
7. A Time to Kill (Myherobobhope)
8. True Romance (Nic Cage)
9. Swimming with Sharks (Bob)
10. Slacker (Bob)
11. Eraserhead (Bob)
12. Dude, Where's My Car? (Nic Cage)
13. The Goonies (Myherobobhope)
14. Billy Madison (Nic Cage)
15.
16. One Hour Photo (Mrs. Fletch)
17. Lethal Weapon 2 (Myherobobhope)
18. Bull Durham (Univarn)
19. Jurassic Park (Dead Pan)
20. A Christmas Carol (Justin)

Poll results; new poll

2009-10-20T08:46:00.003-07:00

The last poll was scheduled to stay up for another week or so, but since I'd already made up my mind (and you agreed) to start up a new game (second edition coming later today), I didn't see a need to keep it up. Full results to the right; to the folks that suggested more FF-UNs and/or more reviews...well, I'll see what I can do.

New poll wants to know if you've seen the "Citizen Kane of bad movies," aka The Room. Mrs. Fletch and I watched this over the weekend, and I must say that my life is forever changed. I highly recommend that you do whatever's necessary (maim, kill, etc.) to get your hands on a copy and see this travesty for yourself. There are a number of clips available on YouTube if you want to get a sampling of the comedic stylings of Tommy Wiseau. I don't know if I'll be formally writing something about it; fellow LAMBcasters Tom Clift and Jason Soto have written about it, though. Check those pieces out here and here.

Fletch's Film Review: The Invention of Lying

2009-10-19T09:05:00.000-07:00

Ricky Gervais believes in a world where speaking about an invisible man in the sky that looks over us all is a lie. Regardless of how you feel about the rest of The Invention of Lying, it's probably not a stretch to assume that your overall opinion of his film depends highly upon whether or not you think that is some form of blasphemy or a beacon of truth. Unfair assumption? Perhaps, but that's what happens when filmmakers place BIG IDEAS smack dab in the middle of otherwise conventional romantic comedies (or action-adventures; just ask the makers of The Golden Compass).

Then again, that might not be the case; it (mostly) wasn't with me. My views were what ultimately brought me to Lying, yet I walked away underwhelmed with most everything but the BIG IDEAS. Despite the not-too-subtle subversiveness that Gervais is hoping to slip into this mainstream movie, the rest of the affair is the type of rote, predictable crap I'd expect from a Kate Hudson flick. Don't judge a book by its cover. Beauty is more than just skin deep. Chubby people with snub noses need love, too. Yawn.

The even bigger reason that this rom-com fails is that...well, it's just not all that funny. There are ample opportunities to tickle your funny bone that come along with the high-concept setup here, and some are played out well, particularly when Gervais' Mark is let go from his job or when he helps his friend out of some trouble with the law. In these cases, Lying feels like its spiritual (haha) antithesis, Jim Carrey's Liar Liar - a broad comedy being played as such. Cameos are made by several of Gervais' friends, with varying degrees of success. Bit players Tina Fey, Jeffrey Tambor, and Rob Lowe relish their roles as Mark's secretary, boss, and nemesis, respectively.

Yet even when the humor is there, there are problems. In a world where people simply don't lie, what compels them to be bluntly rude and/or volunteer truths that one never would in "our" world? Upon being seated at a restaurant with his date, Anna (Jennifer Garner), the waiter approaches them and states, "I'm embarrassed I work here." Was he asked how he felt about his job or how he was feeling that day? Of course not; he appears out of nowhere and volunteers the information. This might feel like nitpicking, but it happens frequently, and comes off as lazy screenwriting and playing for cheap laughs, selling out what few rules and principles the film's alternate reality has.

In the end, I was left wondering why Gervais and co-writer Matthew Robinson bothered with this truth-telling world. They created two children (a religious satire and a romantic comedy) that each needed to be fed, yet left both underserved at the expense of the other. Potential left at the altar.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Whatever."

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#63)

2009-10-18T10:50:00.004-07:00

As I might have mentioned previously, I'm clearing out my bin of SGC posters. Four remain, including the one you see below. One is ridiculously easy, the other three are ridiculously hard. This is one of the hard ones.

Standings:
J.D. - 12
Fletch - 11
Wendymoon, Nick - 5
Clive Dangerously - 4
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79, Rachel - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

TGITDNMAR (10/16/09)

2009-10-16T15:16:00.005-07:00

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

It's my birthday and I'll see a movie if I want to, see a movie if I want to...

Well, I do, but I've been a slack-ass all day (took the day off) and duty (and dinner and presents and cake) call tonight, so it's not in the cards. Don't fret, though, a full helping of movies is in order for tomorrow, as Mrs. Fletch and I are likely to see the first entry below, and the recording the 3rd LAMBcast is lined up. In the meantime, some snarky and/or insightful and/or dumb opinions from the man with the Insider's Insight (...

Where the Wild Things Are
In case you haven't noticed, this has been the top entrant on the "8 Most Awaited Movies this Moment" widget I setup since its inception about a month ago. It's strange - I barely recall the book, barely know who's in it aside from Catherine Keener, James Gandolfini's voice and a kid named Max, and by all accounts, it's probably meant more for kids than adults, but I'm psyched for it. Blame the awesome teaser trailer, Spike Jonze's involvement, and the Arcade Fire.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 100%

The Stepfather
So is this a horror remake or a remake of the vaunted Seann William Scott-Billy Bob Thorton flick Mr. Woodock?

Can't say that I care that much either way. Haven't seen a trailer. Terrible poster (though not as bad as this one for Takers, which appears to have some really, really sh*tty Photoshop work on it). And I'm wondering: is anyone a fan of Dylan Walsh? My shared name notwithstanding, the guy has just been a bore since I can first recall seeing him in Congo. Blah.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 1%

Law Abiding Citizen
I saw the first trailer, and I thought it looked like fun, like it might be pretty good, even. Then I saw that F. Gary Gray was the director.

Can someone please explain this man's "success?" His career started off great with Friday, a cult hit and deservedly so. Set It Off got good reviews if I recall (never saw it; I generally avoid Queen Latifah in film if possible). The Negotiator is a great terrible movie; a basic cable classic with an awesome all-around cast, and maybe the coppiest of all cop movies ever made. I've seen it scads of times.

Since then? Crap on a stick. A Man Apart. Be Cool. The Italian Job. Clearly, his true colors are showing, and I just can't support this.

Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 9%

New York, I Love You
Readers with good memories will recall that I loved the prequel (not really, but spiritually) to this, Paris, je t'aime. As such, I'm more than willing to give this a try, even though my expectations have been tempered vastly by the comparatively inferior talent on board. The cast looks pretty good, if not a lot younger across the board, but the directors they got are clearly from the "B" bin. Shekhar Kapur (Elizabeth and its sequel)? Good. Natalie Portman? WTF, but okay. Mira Nair and Allan Hughes? Sure. Brett Ratner and a bunch of other people whose names I don't recognize? Gimme a break. No Tom Tykwers or Alexander Paynes or Coen Brothers to be found here. I'm hopeful, but not expecting a ton.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 88%

Survivor: Samoa Episode 5 Recap/Live Blog

2009-10-15T18:58:00.012-07:00

7:01: Isn't the voting supposed to be secret? How come everyone knows who the loner is when one person is the only one to vote against the rest of the tribe? Why do they even bother with the supposedly closed ballot voting? Why not just do it as a formal, spoken part of Tribal Council? I know Jeff would love that...

7:07: Finally! The Eat Nasty Food Challenge! It feels like forever since we've had one of these; I'd given up hope that we'd ever see one again. By the way, when I get on Survivor and they have this challenge, I will lose. The only way I might not is if we've been there for 30-something days and I'm friggin' starving, and even then, if a spider made its way onto the menu, I'd be out of sight. Yes, I'm a pansy when it comes to bugs - sue me.

7:09: Is it just me, or does (Bad) Russell's head look freshly shaved? And that reminded me, whatever happened to the players' luxury items? I haven't heard a peep about a luxury item in years.

7:11: Adding a blender to the equation is way too kind. Takes away the mental aspect of having to look at a nasty ass bug - especially one that's alive.

7:17: Yeah...I have no words for this, aside from the random "Oh!! That's just wrong!" and "Gross!"

7:18: So, after drinking 3/4 of her Sea Slug Guts Slushie, Ashley quits? Nice job killing your tribe after all that.

7:20: Shambo bitches and moans after being sent to the other tribe post-challenge. Gimme a break - aren't you the same person talking about how much you love the other tribe and yada yada yada? (Wo)Man up and deal with the fate that you've been dealt.

7:23: "I'm so happy you're out here, my Bleach Blonde Friend."

"I'm so happy you're out here, too, Bleach Blonde Friend! Let's call each other BBFs!"

"Yeah! You're my favoritest BBF ever!"

I don't even know the one that's not Ashley's name, but I can't say that I care all that much.

7:25: (Good) Russell has quickly transformed himself into (God) Russell, which has turned even faster into (Assface) Russell. I'm ready for "the Chief" to hit "the road." Danger Dave might be patronizing to the big boss man, but he's warming up to me. Kevin Spacey FTW!

7:29: Dare I say it and not be labeled a flip-flopper? I do dare say it: (Bad) Russell's the best, Jerry, the best! That guy cracks me up more and more every week.

7:34: Who's Kelly? Are they adding new people each week? I feel like I'm being f*cked with here. I'm observant, damnit (though I am busy typing while I watch the show each week...).

7:35: Poor Brett. He obviously doesn't grow facial hair. That's gotta be just a tad emasculating.

7:36: Eric with the bank robber look - awesome. Dave with the Kevin Spacey look - equally awesome.

7:38: Ashley = useless. Be gone with you.

7:39: Well, with a Galu win, perhaps it will be Ashley after all. We know that (formerly Bad) Russell has it out for Elizabeth, but she just kicked so much ass at the challenge (with Ashley stinking up the joint at the second straight challenge) that there's no way that he could bring up her name without being looked at sideways. I'd be shocked if Ashley doesn't go home.

7:44: I could take rain all day and all night, but I do not like having pruney fingers and toes. That would creep me out after about an hour.

7:46: However, the rain has turned into the best friend that we the audience could wish for, as it has left the Foa Foa tribe incapable of scurrying off into several cliques and hush-hush secret meetings to determine who everyone is going to vote off. This is the best thing that could have happened; six people stuck inside a waterlogged shelter, unable to get away from each other. Excellente! Should make for a terrific Tribal Council.

7:50: Exchange I'd like to take part in:

Jeff: Who do you trust, Fletch?
Fletch: I trust Bob, but that's it. Everyone else here is a goddamn liar that I wouldn't trust with a dollar.

In other words, Jeff's "Who do you trust?" question is retarded. What are people supposed to say?

7:52: The vibe says Liz is gonna be out.

7:53: The vibe is...incorrect. Yay - Ashley is gone. And, judging by the votes we saw and Natalie's ashamed reaction shots, I'd say that every vote was for Ashley aside from her own.

7:57: Yep, she voted against her buddy. Some BBF Natalie turned out to be...

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Fletch's Mini Film Review: Paranormal Activity

2009-10-15T09:49:00.001-07:00

Is it possible for a film to live up to your expectations and be a letdown simultaneously?

Of course, by virtue of my having asked that question, you should know that my answer is "Yes." Paranormal Activity mostly delivers on its promise; it's a genuinely chill-inducing film, with some creepy haunts and tactics that ought to stay with you for a few days (they're still with me). However, by also being exactly what we thought it was (with thanks to Denny Green), it's a disappointment of sorts. Liked The Blair Witch Project? Then you ought to like this, because it's the exact same movie, only set in a house this time.

Maybe a "phenomenon" like this is necessary every decade or so to keep the kids freaked out at the theaters, since it's likely that no one under 21 has seen Blair Witch. It's comforting to know that movies made on shoestring budgets can a) get major theatrical releases in this time of 200 million dollar megabudgets and b) be just as entertaining (if not purposeful or thoughtful) as your standard cinema fare.

No one's reinventing the wheel or genre here, but if you'd like a nice visceral thrill, minus the excessive blood and gore that plagues the horror landscape, it's a worthy choice for your cinematic dollars.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

P.S.: If you are remotely interested in this and have yet to watch the trailer, don't. A pretty major plot point is revealed, kinda like that extended cut Legion trailer where they totally show you how and when XXXXXX dies. Lame on both counts.

Fletch's Film Review: Zombieland

2009-10-14T17:00:00.000-07:00

Excessive narration. Working with children. Extensive use of on-screen graphics. Various cliches worked into the script. A cameo in which the star is playing him/herself.

Zombieland does not care about your stupid rules, Hollywood. It will not bow to the supposed guidelines about what not to do when filming a major motion picture. Nay, it will come to the table with its own set of rules, and it will rule anyway.

It's hard to say whether or not Zombieland succeeds in spite of the supposed gaffes listed up at the top of this review or because of them. More than likely, it's a mixture of the two; the film gets a ton of mileage and humor out of Jesse Eisenberg's narration and list of his character's rules for survival in a world where uninfected humans are a scarce commodity. On the other hand, some typical dumb dumb dumb standard horror film decisions are made by characters in the third act; the only redeeming thing to take out of them is that were it not for those decisions, there wouldn't really be a third act. Without characters in peril, there wouldn't be much drama to be had. Frankly, though, none of those things matter; Zombieland works mainly because a) it's funny as hell and b) though the entire starring cast (of four) is likable, Woody Harrelson brings so much to the table.

Anyone with a pulse knows that Harrelson came to fame playing dim bulb bartender Woody Boyd on NBC's Cheers for the first nine years of his career. Little did anyone in 1985 know, however, what he was capable of. Sure, he's done his fair share of comedies over the years (highlights include Kingpin and White Men Can't Jump), but it's fair to say that Harrelson has been one of the most diverse and eclectic actors of the past two decades. From dramas (Indecent Proposal, North Country, No Country for Old Men) to biopics (The People vs. Larry Flynt) to gonzo horror (Natural Born Killers) to trippy animated indies (A Scanner Darkly), Woody has parlayed his success into a George Clooney-like free pass to make whatever he wants, whenever he wants. Despite a long absence from big screens between 1999's Play it to the Bone and 2003's Anger Management, he's had a resurgence over the last several years; Zombieland marks his 7th role in a feature to hit theaters since the start of 2008, with another four soon to be released (Defendor, The Messenger, 2012, and Bunraku).

Zombieland seems to have caught him at the perfect time. Full of comedic and dramatic chops, but at 48 now with a little of that veteran seasoning, leaving him capable of playing his role of Tallahassee with a mixture of hilarity, vulnerability, dim bulb charm, and balls-out machismo that balances him perfectly off of co-stars Jesse Eisenberg and Emma Stone. In fact, that's pretty much exactly how I'd describe Zombieland: hilarious, vulnerable, macho, and charming.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"It's in the hole!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game

2009-10-14T08:33:00.006-07:00

My lamenting about a lack of a game paid immediate dividends. Nick shows up, out of the blue (not really), and delivers this to me:

"if you do a vague one-line plot synopsis (in your own words and super-basic) and we have to guess what movies they are"

My heart immediately skipped a beat or twelve. I was instantly transported 13 years back, to a time and place where I might be found sitting on a couch somewhere watching Beavis and Butthead with frequent commenter Buffett35, mimicking the morons' speech.

Thus, The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game was born.

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 10 movie plots, torn down to their basest base (and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff"). All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes. By the way, this being the first edition, the difficulty level has been set to "ridiculously easy," with me choosing 10 extremely well-known flicks. It will not always be this way. And I almost forgot - starting next week, this game will move to its regular spot in the lineup on Tuesday afternoons.

1. Dude gets picked on a lot. Learns stuff. Beats other dudes.
2. Dude gets stuff stolen from him. Fights other dudes to get it back.
3. Dude wants to get ahead in the world. Does shady stuff. Get shadier dude sent away.
4. Dude learns that all the stuff he knows is fake. Joins team of dudes and dudettes to fight evil stuff.
5. Dudes slowly get picked off by alien dude with fancy stuff. One dude survives.
6. Dude and dudette fall in love, then out of love, then fight a lot. Other dude tells story.
7. Four dudes look for dead dude. Bigger dudes take over. Lots of stuff learned.
8. Dudette bonks her head; goes on elaborate journey. Meets a lot of weird dudes.
9. Dudette falls asleep; goes on elaborate journey. Meets a lot of weird dudes.
10. Two dudes and a dudette go on a trip and do a lot of stuff in a short period of time. Bad dude tries but fails to nail them.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings

Correct answers so far:
1. The Karate Kid (BD79)
2. The Big Lebowski (Myherebobhope)
3. Wall Street (BD79)
4. The Matrix (smacdonn)
5. Predator (BD79)
6. The War of the Roses (Jason Soto)
7. Stand By Me (BD79)
8. The Wizard of Oz (smacdonn)
9. Alice in Wonderland (smacdonn)
10. Ferris Bueller's Day Off (BD79)

Tuesday's new game...not yet

2009-10-13T12:43:00.005-07:00

I'm having a terrible time coming up with a fun, new game to replace Tuesday's Twelve Tags. It has to be something with the following attributes:

* Google-proof
* Fun
* Not too easy and not too hard
* Not likely to be won with a single comment (I want it to be inclusive)
* Can't involve extensive Photoshop/MS Paint work

I'd probably like it to involve either posters or themes or other general randomness not likely to be solved via search engine, but it could be anything.

I'm not asking for suggestions, just letting you know where my head's at and that I'm not neglecting this. I'd thought of turning The Great Movie Poster Piece Contest into a new weekly game, but I don't like that I'd have to have the answers emailed to me. Still might - not sure.

In the meantime, I thought I'd give you this: below is a prop that can be seen in a well-known film. What's the film?

Fletch's Film Review: Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs and Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian

2009-10-12T23:20:00.001-07:00

I don't know how long it's even been since I saw this duo of animated sequels, but it's safe to say that it leaves me with the biggest gap between seeing a film (or two; they were seen within a week of each other) and writing a review for it. That in and of itself should say something about the quality of each film, but I'll do my best to recall and say more.

One thing is crystal clear, however; despite being a sequel ahead of the Night at the Museum series (oh, how I look forward to the inevitable Louvre edition), the makers of Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs were clearly less motivated by the almighty dollar than their Museum counterparts. Perhaps owing to the intense hours needed to produce a CGI-animated film these days (much less one in 3-D), they at least produced something worthwhile and creative. Not merely content to rehash their previous outings, Dinosaurs literally adds a new world to the one previously inhabited by Sid, Manny, Diego and the gang, taking them underground (?) to a cavernous, uh, place, where the titular dinosaurs appear to have taken shelter from the cold world above them (how, exactly, there is light, heat, and vegetation in this world is not addressed, though I suppose that's irrelevant in a film filled with talking, asexual sloths that pal around with mammoths and tigers). Believe it or not, they put themselves and the lives of their delicate new families in peril, only to re-learn the power of the bonds of friendship, all the while meeting and making new friends yada yada yada. The end - that's about all I've got here. Suffice it to say that, unlike its previous installments, Ice Age 3 is still good kiddie fare, but doesn't offer much for the grown-ups in the audience.

The poorly-titled Battle of the Smithsonian, however, doesn't offer much for anyone in attendance. Eddie Murphy - er, Ben Stiller - fresh from his Hollywood-lampooning Bowfinger - er, Tropic Thunder - returns to the realm of kid flicks that has treated him so kindly over the last four years, adding yet another notch on his growing franchise belt (Madagascar, Fockers).

Though I can't say that I've had the pleasure of seeing either Meet the Fockers (Little Fockers coming soon to a theater near you!) or Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that this is the worst of the bunch. Battle isn't content with just being a sequel; it has to feel like a sequel from beginning to end. More villains! More special effects! More characters in general (while marginalizing the few standouts from the first, most notably via Robin Williams' diminished role)! More nonsensicality! Even a wildly stupid (and scary) section where Stiller's son hacks - easily, of course - into the Smithsonian's website, gaining access to confidential blueprints and such - oy.

The entire affair feels more mailed in and created by a committee than the worst ripoff reality show, made on the quick to strike while the iron is still lukewarm. An inspired impersonation of Amelia Earhart by perennial Oscar contender Amy Adams doesn't even come off unscathed - were the rest of the picture more lively, her performance might've jumped it to another level; compared to the dull proceedings, I was instead merely annoyed by her verve. (I'll admit, this seems like a no-win situation for her or the movie. I can only attribute this to the general loathing I had for the movie.)

I might say more, but I really can't recall much more. I know Mrs. Fletch enjoyed the way that some classic works of art were incorporated into the film; unfortunately, they were so far in the background that the chance that children in the audience will take away anything of merit is slightly less than the amount of respect I have remaining for Stiller. Enjoy your paydays, Ben; I've spent enough time and money on you.

Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs
Fletch's Film Rating:

"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian
Fletch's Film Rating:

"I want you to punch me as hard as you can."

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore: