Blog Cabins: Movie Reviews and Commentary Made Fun

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#68)

2009-11-22T11:33:00.004-07:00

Since J.D. currently has a 14-6 advantage over the second place player (my tally is only for the times I've stumped you all), I'm basically going to just take this game as a challenge to stymie J.D.

I think I might have you here, young man. And don't worry - it's not some obscure film.

Standings:
J.D. - 14
Fletch - 11
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79 - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

TGITDNMAR (11/20/09)

2009-11-20T10:36:00.001-07:00

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon
OMG Taylor! OMG Robert! OMG Kristin! OMG Kristin and Robert! OMG Look at Taylor! OMG Dakota Fanning! OMG Vampires! OMG Werewolves! OMG OMG! OMG Taylor! OMG Robert! OMG Kristin! OMG Kristin and Robert! OMG Look at Taylor! OMG Dakota Fanning! OMG Vampires! OMG Werewolves! OMG OMG!
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

Planet 51
I feel like the Politically Correct Police is slacking on their job of annoying us and making sure we're aware of things that don't matter. This week, it's the fact that Dwayne Johnson, he of multi-racial descent (Black and Samoan), is doing the voice of a white character. Of course, I don't particularly care about this, save for the part where you can be certain it would be a big, fat, hairy deal were the situation reversed (The Last Airbender, anyone?). Hypocrisy?

Anyway, I haven't even watched the full trailer for this, but I'm not sure I need to; it's a clever concept, but one that can be summed up in about 3.5 words. Ought to be ripe for some decent jokes - just don't go looking for anything deep. Solid vocal cast, with Jessica Biel, Justin Long, Gary Oldman, John Cleese, and Seann William Scott (The Rundown reunion!) on board.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 23%

The Blind Side
I'm really hoping that at some point, Sandra Bullock's Southern belle will paraphrase the iconic John Moxon and tell the disenfranchised, parentless and poor teen she has taken in, "I don't want...you to have...your life." But that's probably not going to happen.

I don't have much else to say about this one - just not interested in the slightest. Newsflash, but Sandra Bullock, as a rule, doesn't make good movies. Though is anyone else shocked that this is a Warner production and not Disney? Talk about an upset.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 6%

The Fantastic Mr. Fox
By all accounts, I shouldn't be all that excited for this. After all, it's Wes Anderson, doing a replica of his Wes Anderson thang (the major criticism of The Darjeeling Limited), only this time with stop-motion. Most of the W.A. Players are on board as well, from Bill Murray to Jason Schwartzman to Owen Wilson. And yet, I'm psyched to see it. Must be the whistle click*click - it's my trademark.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 99%

Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans
I suppose it's too obvious for me to ask that the title be changed to Bad Actor, right?

Truth is, despite the fact that I haven't seen the first, openly loathe Cage, and am not all that interested in Herzog's films (in general), the trailer for this makes it appear to be pretty interesting, even if the material is the kind of stuff that we've seen before. Cage (warning: compliment coming) is at his best when he's off the reservation a bit and he's clearly off it here. No theatrical viewing in my future, but I wouldn't mind a future cable one.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 11%

Broken Embraces
I'm about to hit you with some of my famous, fabulous Insider's Insight™ yet again. Are you sitting down?

Ready?

Ok, here it is.

Pedro Almodóvar thinks Penelope Cruz is hot. Like, really hot. Woody Allen thinks she's the bees knees. Whoever directed Elegy (sorry, my Insider brain can only retain so much information) thinks she's hot, too. Pretty sure Cameron Crowe agrees as well.

You know what? I f*$#ing get it. Penny Cruz is hotter than all other starlets combined. Her face is a porcelain doll come to life. Her breasts rival Venus de Milo's in their beauty. Her hair is made of fine Corinthian leather and her neck emits its own perfume whenever she desires it to.

I get it.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 2%

Survivor: Samoa Episode 10 Recap/Live Blog

2009-11-19T18:55:00.005-07:00

One week until Thanksgiving. You know what that means, right? The evil clips show will be the next episode, if there's even one at all. A Wednesday airing is possible, but I'm gonna say unlikely. So get your Russ fix in tonight, since he won't be back for two weeks (if he's still on the show at all...).

7:01: One more reason to like Danger Dave...immediately back form Tribal Council and he comes over and congratulates Russ and the Foa Foa Four. His shocked yet bemused looks at Tribal were a good hint to his mindset (as opposed to Laura, who looked stone-cold pissed), but it was still a great display of humility.

7:05: The rat race begins early, as Russell is up at the crack of dawn - before his fellow players, of course - already looking for the latest hiding place for the hidden idol. Let the calamity begin!

7:08: Yes - tacky product placement returns! I won't say what the product is since I don't want to contribute to this behavior, but let's just say that it's a phone whose name rhymes with Calm Free. Sorry, I need to go to the Home Depot toilet now.

7:10: Why is John the team member in the lever-pulley challenge that's being pulled around by his teammates? Wouldn't you always choose the lightest person, in this case being Monica? Dumb.

7:12: Shocking - that tactical error likely cost the yellow team a victory, as the purple team had the ultra-light Natalie in their hammocky thing. Even better news for the purple team? They can now make phone calls with their schmacy Palm Pre - oops! Damn, I said it.

7:17: As if the mid-show commercial for a phone wasn't bad enough, they decide to show us "pictures" that the castaways took with their phone. Um...those pictures were not taken with that phone - at least not all of them. What's it got, a 3-megapixel camera in there, and yet it can take crystal-clear images that fill an HDTV? My ass.

7:18: So we're shown some footage of Mick, Jaison, and Monica chatting it up back at loser island about strategy and this and that and the other. !!!! Why aren't these maroons tearing up the place looking for the hidden immunity idol. Complacence and confidence are good tactics to use if you'd like to leave the game.

7:22: And so the insanity has begun. Russell tells Jaison and Mick about the clues, and within seconds flat, Laura and Dave are following him around like a puppy following its master.

7:24: If I say "he did it again," do I even need to extrapolate on that for you to know exactly what I'm talking about. Russell is on another plane of Survivor Consciousness, people. The big question now...to play it again or give it away? I say play it again - what's to stop him from getting it again?

7:26: Of course, the better plan would be for Russ to get the run of the mill Immunity Idol. I say he's due. Laura can not win it again.

7:28: I don't know about the "throwing rocks" portion of this Immunity Challenge, but John sure had a smirk on his face when the "shooting arrows" portion came up.

7:30: Seriously, how old is Brett? I know women with more facial hair than him!

7:31: Ok, I don't actually know any women with more, but I know I've seen women with more. Get that boy some testosterone, stat (Mick, you're a doctor, you do it).

7:32: Speaking of Mick - good god, a Foa Foan actually won something, as Doc took home the Immunity. Not quite as good as Russ taking it, but pritty, pritty, pritty good nevertheless.

7:35: The sensitive piano music during Shambo's heart-to-heart with Brett was priceless. That is all.

7:40: There's a lot going on, so it's hard to get my head wrapped around all of this business that Monica, Dave, and Brett are selling, but I'm pretty sure it's going to fail miserably. There's no way Sham is voting anyone but Laura, and I'm fairly certain that the Foans are more than content in playing their odds with a tie (at worst). If anyone's likely to flip, it's a former Galu player, not a Foan. And so far, it seems like John is wont to join Shambo. It really seems as though the balance of power has shifted, despite what the Galus (minus John and Shambo) think.

Oh, and by the way, I'm liking John more and more after the events of this episode.

7:48: Don't you love how the focus got shifted away from Russell's head justlikethat? He lives (barring a rock draw).

7:49: And oh by the way, I know we're getting a tie, because there's too much time left in the show. Sometimes, it's just that easy.

7:50: Tie ballgame! Even Dave Matthews loves it!

7:51: C'mon, John - this is your time to shine...

7:52: Laura...
Natalie...
Laura...
Natalie...
Laura...
Natalie...
3-3...2 votes left.
Laura...
...
...
Final vote: Laura!!!! Bless you, John - you're officially my second-favorite player. Of course, you are NOT the favorite player of Dave, Brett and Monica - they were sending tiny daggers of hate his way. The next episode ought to be full of frisky fun. See you in...two weeks? (They didn't say.)

Survivor news at Survivor.com
Survivor homepage at CBS.com

Poll results; new poll

2009-11-19T13:17:00.002-07:00

Y'all are a bunch of bald-faced liars...or Up in the Air is gonna earn a lot more than its producers are probably expecting right now. 13-for-13? Everyone's hot for Jason Reitman's next flick?

I'm one of that baker's dozen as well, but as a Clooney fan, I voted for all three, having already seen Goats and planning on seeing Fox this weekend. I'm just shocked - I figured Up in the Air was the least accessible of the three; then again, it's the one most likely to earn high-profile Academy nods. We shall see...

New poll is all about 2012 director Roland Emmerich, who seems to have run out of earth to destroy. What's next on his slate?

Just because: Weezing the juice

2009-11-19T11:15:00.000-07:00

Fletch's Film Review: 2012

2009-11-18T15:56:00.003-07:00

Note: There will be spoilers in this review. However, not only does this movie not have any spoilers in that Sixth Sense idea of what a spoiler is, but really, is there anything that I could say that would possibly spoil this movie for anyone? If you don't know that it's about the end of the world as R.E.M. knows it (how much was Roland Emmerich killing himself for already using that song in Independence Day?), then you have bigger issues than worrying about spoilers. Like, it might be time for a CT scan, and pronto. So proceed sans fear, dwellers.

Note two: Yes, the author of this review is the same moron that placed his odds of seeing this film at 7% just days ago in the last TGITDNMAR and stated that "I just can't support it financially and look at myself in the mirror." I don't know what to tell you other than to share the news that I have about 49 years of bad luck due to me now. I just had to see how bad it was, and good lord, it was worth every penny. It's terrible - laugh out loud terrible at times, and you will simultaneously love and hate yourself for seeing it.

On to the review...

You know what? Scratch that. Actually, scratch that "scratch that;" Roland Emmerich doesn't "scratch" anything - he blows it the hell up or drowns it in a torrent of water. So..."explode that." There will be no formal review for this - just a series of random thoughts strung together by "feelings" and special effects sequences.

* I'll save my picking of nits for later because I have a much larger gripe with this flick. Not surprisingly, it has to do with the writing.

The first character we meet is a scientist played by Chewitall Edgeonthefloor (if you're familiar with the deli franchise Schlotzsky's, their slogan is "Funny Name. Serious Sandwich." Ejiofor needs to change his name to "Impossible Name. Serious Actor." But I digress.). His scientist, Dr. Sherman Hemsley, learns of impending doom headed to Middle Earth in the very near future, and he must speak to the White House Chief of Staff (Oliver Platt, known to Mrs. Fletch as "the fat guy") to tell him of this news. He talks to him, gets on the White House staff himself and yada yada yada a plan is set forth to ensure the future of the species, which includes building a number of 21st century arks. It's all top secret, hush hush, on the down low and the QT. As DOOMSDAY looms larger, Hemsley becomes stricken with a serious guilty conscience and the main drama of the film (outside of that whole "planet more or less going bye-bye thing") hinges upon the see-saw for power between Ejiofor and Platt over whether to go public, to the public, that they're pretty much all gonna die, and pronto.

Ejiofor wants to spread the word, Platt wants to zip the collective mouths of all that are in the know, and will go to any length to enforce this. We're meant to join in Ejiofor's plight since his Indian pal was lied to about this and some French was killed for that and damnit, the "people DESERVE to know!," or something like that. He is just and true, Platt is wrong and bad (the situation plays out on a smaller scale later in the film as well).

My problem is that I sided with Platt the entire time. Am I supposed to feel guilty about this? "What about the workers [that built the arks]?," Platt is asked, with everyone knowing that their fate is doomed along with 99% of the rest of humanity, while the rich and powerful (and John Cusacks) are safely stowed onboard.

Well, what about them (and the rest of the "masses"), you might ask? A wise person once wrote something about "survival of the fittest" and evolution and all that jazz; news flash, Mr. Scientist, but in this here 21st century, like it or not, wealth and power are what makes one man (or woman) "the fittest" in this society. The ability to kill a buffalo with your own hands and/or rudimentary tools might be nice, but it doesn't make for the greatest of retirements or the largest pool of available mates. The group of people that set out to build these arks (and stock them full of as many historical artifacts and species as possible) were doing this for the hopeful continuation of life on Earth as they knew it. To have told the remaining 7 billion people on the planet, at any time, would no doubt have submarined the entire efforts, causing mass hysteria, riots, and a pre-apocalypse apocalypse that no one could possibly imagine.

Had there been any tangible benefit to telling the world of their fate - had it made the slightest difference in the end outcome - I might have been right there with the righteous Hemsley. But it wouldn't have.

* Well, I feel better with that off my chest. Now, let's round this out with my Favored Five Improbable, Impossibly Stupid, Incredibly Genius Moments of 2012.

5. Was this a run-of-the-mill horror flick or a disaster pic? Could the deaths among the known characters have been any more obvious? Those that had sex or said "I'll be right back" were doomed; all "innocents" were spared. More annoying than anything else.

4. How were the arks being powered, exactly? And why was there apparently still internet service post-apocalypse?

3. So, are we to believe that typhoons/tidal waves/whatever just appear out of nowhere without the slightest notice or precursory water? A character stands on the grass of the National Mall in front of the U.S. Capitol and watches a mile-high tidal wave appear - out of nowhere - and subsequently take out the White House. Um...they're practically parallel. There was no water in front of said character as they witnessed the wave. Not a drop.

2. Emmerich wanted to destroy the Sistine Chapel. Fine, I get it. Did the crack in the ceiling have to go directly between God's hand and Adam's? There was not a more obvious shot in the movie.

1. We all rolled our eyes when Arnie (brilliantly lampooned here, by the way) flew a friggin' F-whatever jet plane through a building in True Lies. That was so 90s, though. It was high time that got outdone, and severely, no? The sight of Cusack driving a speeding limousine through a building would have been bad enough, but a building that's crumbling to the ground at that moment? Laugh out loud funny.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Whatever"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

LAMBcast #5

2009-11-17T18:29:00.000-07:00

The LAMBcast is back in its full form, and back with a full slate of five hosts. The featured discussion this time out is none other than the supposed "last great movie star," Mr. George Clooney, who (in case you've been living under a rock in a cave) might have three films out at your local theater next month when Up in the Air opens, joining The Men Who Stare at Goats and his vocal contribution to The Fantastic Mr. Fox. We dissect his career, from The Facts of Life to Batman & Robin and everything in between. Also on tap: some Trailer Talk and a game of Last ~~Man~~ Person Standing.

In it, I was joined by fellow LAMBs:

* Tom Clift of Plus Trailers
* Nick Jobe of Random Ramblings of a Demented Doorknob,
* Mike Mendez of Big Mike's Movie Blog, and
* Alex Kittle of Film Forager.

Trailers discussed:

As usual, the music, as provided royalty-free by Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website, is the bomb. Big thanks to Kevin for providing this service.

You can listen by playing it in the widget in the sidebar; if you'd like to add it to your site (you would), click the "Add to my page" link. Also, you can find us on iTunes; just go to the Podcasts section and search for "LAMBcast."

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, we'd love to hear them.

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #6

2009-11-17T11:04:00.008-07:00

Last Week's Results: JacksSmirkingRevenge pulled out a second straight victory with 4 points, though I deserve a mention as well, what with the six (!) stumpers I walked away with.

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 15 movie plots, torn down to their basest base, and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff." All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes.

1. Dude is tormented by...stuff?
2. Dude eats stuff.
3. Dude stops doing stuff.
4. Dude doesn't want stuff taken away from him.
5. Dudes and dudette think they can do stuff, but they can't...but they can.
6. Dude does stuff the wrong way.
7. Dude gives up stuff.
8. Dude needs to throw stuff away.
9. Dude's gonna try doing stuff again. Bad idea.
10. Dudes do stuff to get back at other dudes that did bad stuff.
11. Dude and dudette do random stuff together.
12. Dude does stuff for the second time.
13. Dudes engage in lifelong battle over stuff.
14. Dudes turn stuff off, so to speak.
15. Dude and dudette look for a place for their stuff.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
JacksSmirkingRevenge - 2
Myherobobhope - 1.5
BD79 - 1
Nic Cage - .5

Correct answers so far:
1. Duel (Jason Soto)
2. Supersize Me (Fitz)
3. Office Space (RarelyHeard)
4.
5. Mystery Men (JSR)
6. The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (JSR)
7. Trainspotting (JSR)
8. Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (JSR)
9. The Wrestler (Fitz)
10. Munich (Justin)
11. Before Sunrise (Bob Turnbull)
12. 17 Again (Jason Soto)
13. There Will Be Blood (JSR)
14. The Hurt Locker (Jason Soto)
15. Away We Go (Fitz)

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#67)

2009-11-15T16:15:00.003-07:00

Alright - thanks to the assistance of Mrs. Fletch, I'm back and stocked with a large batch of SGCs in which to torment you with. We start with this well-known and much loved film.

Standings:
J.D. - 13
Fletch - 11
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79 - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

In celebration of arbitrary achievements: 100 Certified Cabin Dwellers

2009-11-13T17:00:00.001-07:00

As friend and fellow LAMB Nick might say, "Woot!!"

Yes, it's a meaningless milestone in the grand scheme of things, but I just noticed that Blog Cabins now has 100 Google/Blogger followers, or Cabin Dwellers as I prefer to call y'all. This post is merely an excuse to say thanks to you and any other non-Google sanctioned followers of this nearly three-year old blog (and this post doesn't mean I won't do something to commemorate that date, in which I will say essentially the same thing. Recycling for the win!). To paraphrase the Doobie Brothers (something I try to do daily...or not), "It keeps me running, yeah it keeps me running...," with the "it" being your following, commentary and loyal patronage.

And to anyone out there who follows BC but wonders why I'm not listed as a follower on your Blogger site, ~~it's because your site sucks and I don't like it~~ the explanation is here.

TGITDNMAR (11/13/09)

2009-11-13T11:25:00.001-07:00

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

2012
For those masochists that are actually eagerly anticipating this movie, might I at least share this nugget: Roland Emmerich's latest D.O.A. P.O.S. is 158 minutes. That's two hours and thirty eight minutes!

I suppose that's how long it takes to have a movie that shows the destruction of the entire freaking world, piece by piece and landmark by landmark. To be honest, part of my is dying to see this, if only to experience just how terrible it is, but I just can't support it financially and look at myself in the mirror.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 7%

~~The Boat That Rocked~~ Pirate Radio
You know how to judge when a massive new edit and re-titling of a movie are a failed idea? When those alterations become the story rather than the movie itself.
Solid cast, decent story, all-around light, fun feeling...and I don't know a single person that cares about this movie. As for me, I'm bothered on principle by the changes made - the edits made might in fact make the flick better (though not from what I've heard) and the title might indeed make it more marketable in North America (we have Talk Like a Pirate Day, after all), but it's not like this was some festival film that had yet to be released to a wide audience. It was released in the UK some seven months ago, and opened throughout the world shortly thereafter. North America is essentially the last place to get it. You don't change the name of a film that's been seen the world over for the last 6+ months - sorry.

Dumber still, the changes made will have ZERO impact on the film's success here. It's totally impossible to prove, but I guarantee it. This is a film that had limited appeal (like The Damned United) no matter what it's title - why bother?

And since I'm here, a reminder that Raiders of the Lost Ark will never be titled Indiana Jones and the... in my head, and Star Wars will never be titled Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope. Ok?

End rant.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 20%

The Messenger
Can you say Acting Showcase for the Academy?

I'll be shocked if there's not at least one nomination from the three leads (Woody, Ben Foster, and Samantha Morton) out of this flick, and just as I pre-judged 2012, I'll pre-judge this and say that I'm guessing that it's worthy of two or three.

Though it's a difficult subject matter, Harrelson and Morton = two of my favorite actors, and people that I'll see in anything. This also looks to be a great double bill along with the equally depressing Brothers, starring Tobey Maguire, Jake Jill N. Hall and Natalie Portman.

Related note: I think I might earn my Masters in Iraqi Film degree pretty soon. Rendition and The Kingdom are amongst the few that I've missed, and word is that I haven't missed much with either of them...
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 96%

Survivor: Samoa Episode 9 Recap/Live Blog

2009-11-12T18:57:00.007-07:00

No, I have not gotten over the loss of the Tree Cave Hole since last week. Regardless, I will soldier on.

7:00: The Foa Foa Four? I wonder if they were ever in league with the Seattle Seven...

7:01: Is it possible that the episode will play out exactly as Laura mentioned, that "Russell will be voted out next?" Despite the obviousness of it, or more like because of it, I just can't imagine it playing out that way. The savvy CBS producers will rig the immunity challenge to favor a Santa-bellied Southern oil man, I'm sure of it. That or they'll inject another player will some illness to force them out of the game. Yeah, we'll go with that theory.

7:06: Poor little rat. All that drama for 3 oz. of food? They should have captured it and fed it food to plump it up to at least chihuahua size. Then they each might've gotten a bite or two.

7:11: These are some of the worst runners I've ever seen. I mean, just awkwardness all around, save for perhaps John and Mick. Jaison and Russell running next to each other...wow, I think I could watch that all day.

7:19: Hi, Kelly. Nice to meet you. Welcome to the game of Survivor.

7:20: Here's your top secret reward clue for the re-hidden immunity idol: there is an immunity idol somewhere at your camp. You know, just like there was last time. And it's hidden, just like it always is. Your clue is information that you'd be a dolt for not knowing in the first place. Congratulations!

7:22: Will Russell find a second idol without a single clue?

7:22: Of course, just as I'm typing that, he finds it. What a f*cking awesome son of a b*tch! (Sorry, but that was just awesome.) What the hell is wrong with all of the other players in this game? Remember how I (jokingly) called the producers of the show savvy? I take it back, I take it all back. They are now idiots for having not thought as intelligently as one of their own players. There's only one of him and god knows how many people working behind the scenes with input on such matters, and yet this one player knows how predictable they will be and finds a 2nd idol sans clues. Sharpen up, people!

7:26: Damn it all - I have to backtrack yet again. Russell's an idiot. I disagree 100% with his strategy of telling someone about his find. You know they all want to vote you off at the next tribal - why not truly blindside the other players in the game and let them vote for you like they planned.

7:27: Making matters worse, the above scenario I just mapped out is Russell's plan. Newflash: you didn't need to tell anyone anything to incentivize them to vote you out, dummy. Now there's the possibility that she turns on you, tells anyone, and all of a sudden you're potentially playing another idol for nothing.

7:30: My anger at Russ on his plan notwithstanding, of course I am really pulling for him to win this Immunity Challenge. That would be nothing short of beautiful.

7:32: Sheeeeeeiiiiiiitttt. Too busy smirking to pull your bag back in time, and now you're out of the challenge. Nice going, Russ.

7:36: Channeling Indiana Jones: Laura? Why did it have to be Laura? C'mon, Jacque.

7:36: Then again, Laura's confidence that Russell will be going home almost made it worth it. Not quite, but almost. Though it really would have been great to have seen her go home.

7:40: There goes Russell again, now telling Jaison about his find! "The idea is to surprise them with it," tells us about Russ's plan. That's gonna be pretty damn hard when they all know about it. How many other people know now - four? What are the odds that Jaison, Natalie, Mick and Shambo allll keep their mouths shut?

7:43: "That's not rocket science," says John. Haha. Nice one, Mr. Rocket Scientist.

7:45: Russell doesn't want to play his idol and not need it, but he also doesn't want to not play it and then need it. Screw your doubts about whether or not they might be writing your name down, son - better to go with the latter scenario than the former, no? Besides, what's to stop you from finding it again?

7:47: I have decided that I shall deem Mick "Steve Young" and Erik is now "Dave Matthews." Just thought you should know that. Not that there's a tribal council going on right now or anything.

7:49: Really, all that banter was much ado about nothing. "Galu is tight, Foa Foa is helpless, Erik was a snake." Been there, done that.

7:50: Good for you, Russell!!! Played it after all.

7:51: Yes! They voted for him, to boot. This is gonna be great.

7:52: Excellent...with a Shambo flop, it becomes a 5-5 game in terms of alliances. The entire drama remaining in the season hinges upon that flop. Meanwhile, Jaison, Mick, and Natalie need to start worshipping the ground Russ walks on. Finally, I can't wait to see all 10 players running around camp like chickens sans heads looking for the soon-to-be-rehidden (again) idol. Expect it to be floating in the air some 100 feet high where no one will find it; it would be embarrassing if any of the players found it with any ease whatsoever.

Survivor news at Survivor.com
Survivor homepage at CBS.com

Fletch's Film Review: Where the Wild Things Are

2009-11-12T10:40:00.002-07:00

Depending on who you listen to, Maurice Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are is either 338 or 339 words long. Considering the brevity of his genius, combined with the fact that I suck and it's been weeks since I saw the film and have yet to write anything about it, I've decided to go into Schtick Mode and give you a review that matches the number of words in his book. Starting....now:

What kind of person decides to adapt a 10-sentence book that takes 90 seconds to read and turn it into a 90 minute movie? Would you call that person ambitious? Insane? Brilliant? Idiotic?

Of course, we already knew that director Spike Jonze was a visionary - an auteur, a hyphenate, a creative genius. All by itself, the look of Wild cements that status. Jonze expands upon the bedroom jungle of Sendak's vision and turns it into an alternate world for Max and the Wild Things full of every type of tropical location you can think of, and architectural creations that could only come from the mind of a child (it should be noted that the only other director that might've matched or exceeded Jonze at filming this book would be Michel Gondry, a man-child if ever there were one).

The thing that's more surprising (and/or vexing to many) is how adult this child's book has become. The context and message was always there, but this film has been injected with more psychoanalysis than The Sopranos, all in the guise of 12-foot monsters. Max doesn't go on his mind's journey merely to escape the pain and loneliness of being a child, but to work out his demons. He puts himself in the shoes of his mother, teaching himself what it's like to be a parent and learning that there's no such place as Utopia - no place where there is no pain, but that pain can be a means of growth and bonding.

While there are those that think that element is what ruins Wild, I'm one of the ones that think the maturity of the subject matter, combined with the exuberant playtime feel, timeless look and diverse characters, are what will eventually count Jonze's work as not just another book-to-film adaptation, but a classic in its own right.

To paraphrase Forrest Gump, that's about all I have to say about that. But since I have a few words remaining, I would like to say this: James Gandolfini really

Sorry - that's 338.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"It's in the hole!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

Blogger Bitching #3

2009-11-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

Well, here's a winner of a post idea. It will either a) not appeal to you in the slightest or b) offend you in one way or another. Who knows, though, maybe there are some other options as well, like c) you'll agree and change your dastardly ways or d) you'll call me on my b.s.

Anyway, the crux of this hinges on one simple fact: I visit a lot of blogs on a daily basis. Regardless of my LAMB shepherding, there are a number of sites that I enjoy reading frequently. I won't call out any specific names, but if some of these bitches apply to you, don't be too offended - just appease me and fix whatever the problem is.

Bitch #1 - Comment Subscription via Email
I'm not sure if the title gave it away or not, but this is just the third time I've done an entry in this Bitching series. And yet, I'm already repeating one of my bitches...

But it's with good reason. Look, all you people that still don't offer any comment subscription, I'm thinking of you more than me. You do want repeat visitors to your site, right? Right? Well, guess what? If I leave a comment and there's no email telling me when a reply has been made, there's an 82% chance that I'm not going to go back to the site later to check and see if my nugget of wisdom has been praised or panned by you or your other fellow readers. Compound that with my frustration that every time I leave a comment, I get pissed about your lack of email subscription option, and I'm now thinking about not returning to your site at all.

And before you start, don't even try to tell me to subscribe to your comments via a feed reader. The goal I set for my feed reader is for the number of unread items to read "0," a goal that I just about never achieve. The last thing I'm gonna do is start subscribing to comment feeds there, where the average per day for one site could be 30 or more, depending on the popularity of the site. No effing way.

Bitch #2 - Podcaaaaaaasssssstttts
It should come as no surprise that, now that I'm producing a podcast, I've become an insufferable bandwagon jumper as it relates to them. I've asked other LAMB sites that do them to let me know so that I might post a roundup of them there, but aside from being potentially beneficial to them and serving as a general public service to those interested in movie podcasts, I've come to really enjoy listening to them (I know - big surprise, huh?). I'll even be posting a lit of which ones I'm listening to regularly in the next few days.

Anyway, length. WTF, people? Some of these (and some with no more than two people on the podcast) are 2+ hours!

"But Fletch," you're thinking, "you could just fast-forward or not listen or listen in sections. Stop being such a whiny bitch."

No. First of all, no one puts chapters on their podcasts despite the availability (at least through GarageBand; I don't either). If you get into fast-forwarding through bits here and there, you really have no idea when one topic stops and another starts. But that misses the point anyway: as much as I like to listen to these podcasts, they are all amateur (yes, including the LAMBcast). No one is producing radio-ready content; either due to a lack of charisma, quality content or sharp enough editing, many are rambly enough as it is.

Podcasts in general should not be over 60 minutes, and only then if there's a glut of excellent content. If you've got that much more to talk about, break it up into multiple shows.

Bitch #3 - Stop toying with me, Technorati
I'm not sure how new it is (I think very), but Technorati now ranks apparently all of the sites in its listing by a set number of genres. Shockingly, BC is listed in the film section. But their top secret formula has me bouncing all over the damn place, and what's worse, it's inconsistent with their "main" Technorati ranking. I've climbed in that main ranking, but where I used to be in the top 200 or 300 for film blogs, now I can't even find myself in the entire list of 800+. What the hell, Techno? Are my magical authority points going up or down (I'd ask why but that's like trying to learn the location of a rainbow's pot o' gold)? Am I more or less influential than I was yesterday? I need to know these things...

-------------------------------------

Got a bitch of your own, for me or some other (non-specific) site? Put your complaining pants on and let me hear it.

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #5

2009-11-10T15:09:00.008-07:00

Last Week's Results: JacksSmirkingRevenge came through late with three winners, enough to barely squeak out a win (though I kind of tied, with 3 stumpers).

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 15 movie plots, torn down to their basest base, and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff." All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes. The difficulty level for this edition has been taken down a hair or two from last week, I believe.

1. Dude never looks like himself.
2. Dude is made of stuff.
3. Dude gets accused of stuff.
4. Dude finds stuff that no one else can.
5. Dude bets he can do stuff. He can't. Until he can.
6. Dude deals with volatile stuff/other dudes.
7. Dude wakes up to find that none of his stuff is the same.
8. Dude pulls prank on dudette; realizes error of his ways.
9. Dude talks about stuff.
10. Dude gives up stuff to get dudette.
11. Dude didn't do stuff.
12. Dudes fight stuff.
13. Dudes try to get stuff that isn't theirs.
14. Dude likes dude a little bit too much.
15. Dudes and dudettes chase stuff.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
Myherobobhope - 1.5
BD79, JacksSmirkingRevenge - 1
Nic Cage - .5

Correct answers so far:
1. The Saint
2. Robocop (Univarn)
3. Disclosure (JSR)
4. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
5. White Men Can't Jump (JSR)
6. The Rock
7. Demolition Man
8. She's All That (JSR)
9. Pump Up the Volume
10. Half Baked (JSR)
11. The Fugitive (Gaylord)
12. Ghostbusters (Jason Soto)
13. Three Kings
14. The Talented Mr. Ripley (Nick)
15. Twister (Justin)

LAMBcast #4; Poll results, new poll

2009-11-08T11:47:00.003-07:00

I asked you in the last poll if you had seen The Room. The response was a big, fat "No," by almost a 4:1 margin. The results are even more lopsided when you factor in that one vote is mine (I believe), one is Mrs. Fletch's, and at least one belongs to one of the guys listed below.

The latest LAMBcast is a somewhat special edition, devoted almost entirely to the cult 'hit' The Room. If you've seen the film, you're ahead of the game; if not, it's imperative that you see it as soon as possible; then come back and listen to the podcast (or just listen anyway; you still ought to get a kick out of it). Also, regardless of whether you've seen it or not, enjoy the YouTube clips below; they'll either serve as a fun trip down memory game or a primer for what you're in for.

In it, I was joined by two fellow LAMBs:

* Tom Clift of Plus Trailers and
* Jason Soto of Invasion of the B Movies.

As usual, the music, as provided royalty-free by Kevin MacLeod's Incompetech website, is the bomb. Big thanks to Kevin for providing this service.

Additional sites mentioned during the podcast:
* The Room's Wikipedia page
* Entertainment Weekly: The Crazy Cult of The Room

Vids:

You can listen by playing it in the widget in the sidebar; if you'd like to add it to your site (you would), click the "Add to my page" link. Also, you can find us on iTunes; just go to the Podcasts section and search for "LAMBcast."

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, we'd love to hear them.

Finally, the latest poll is up, and it wants to know how interested you are in George Clooney's current film blitz. Spoiler alert: Clooney is the subject of LAMBcast #5.

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#66)

2009-11-08T11:11:00.004-07:00

As promised, the last one in my bin, a damn hard one. Hints will no doubt be coming eventually. I'll give you this one for starters - it was released this decade.

Standings:
J.D. - 12
Fletch - 11
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop, Rachel - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79 - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

Fletch's Film Review: The Box

2009-11-07T11:36:00.000-07:00

Donnie Darko came and went, unloved by theatrical audiences, or at least not given a proper chance to be loved. It was an ambitious, audacious piece of filmmaking, and co-starred Holmes Osborne. Given new life on video, it became wildly popular, earning cult status, etc., etc.

Southland Tales came and went, unloved be theatrical and video audiences. Described by many (including me) as a hot mess, it was an ambitious, audacious piece of filmmaking, and co-starred Holmes Osborne. It was either the best terrible movie of all time, or the worst great movie of all time (or at least 2006), though I would place the great/terrible ratio somewhere around 57/43. Like Donnie, it made little sense yet was highly compelling to watch (endure?).

Now The Box has come. It should come as no surprise, then, that it is ambitious, audacious, and co-stars Holmes Osborne. Like Donnie and Southland, it makes little sense yet is highly compelling to watch.

So what's the point (besides all of the ones I've repeated again and again)? It's this: When Southland Tales flopped commercially and critically, it was assumed that Kelly had overshot his ability, spoiling the apparent free rein he was given after the tardy success of Donnie, the effects of a young director being hailed as an auteur after but one feature. The Box, then, would seem to blow that theory up: Southland was no different than Donnie, save for perhaps its lighter tone, use of music and abundance of Saturday Night Live veterans. It was merely the next in the pattern - a pattern proved by The Box. Donnie is not the exception to his career, it's exactly the same, only we didn't know it at the time. After all, how much different is paradoxical time travel, giant evil rabbits and Tears for Fears from Justin Timberlake covering The Killers or Frank Langella showing up sans half his face and mysterious boxes that are capable of exacting death upon strangers?

Time and critics will no doubt cast The Box as the median film between these three in terms of overall quality. For whatever reasons, Donnie's ludicrousness is given a pass; whether that's due to the familiarity of a plot involving time travel or Patrick Swayze's presence, one can't say for sure. But the fact remains that it took itself seriously and was somewhat restrained given the material (especially compared to his later films). Southland's general storyline might not be any less crazy, but it was severely less-focused, dropping the viewer in on the third (or fourth, I can't recall) part of a six-episode epic, with what felt like a city's worth of characters and the subtlety of Rocky Horror, all smashed into 2.5 hours.

The Box, however, is a technically solid film, a period piece set in 1976 that offers all the realism of a Zodiac. It features a haunting and creative score by alterna-hipsters Arcade Fire that enlivens the film, and rather than raiding the cast of MadTV, features solid, wink-free performances from all of its stars, from Cameron Diaz (playing it straight without making us feel conscious of the fact that she's playing it straight), Frank Langella (adding many touches of class playing one of the great villains of the last decade, like Anton Chigurh minus the bowl cut and air gun), and James Marsden (proving once and for all that he's a highly capable leading man). In other words, aside from the insanity of the plot, it's a highly impressive film.

That plot is hard to overcome, though. It starts with a Book of Questions-like query, giving the young married couple the choice of killing a stranger for one million dollars...or not. All that must be done is the pressing of a small red button. That's where the simplicity begins and ends. The narrative shoots off in more directions than light reflecting off a disco ball, taking the audience (and the characters) on a mind-bending trip into...well, you name it. As with Southland (and Donnie, whether you want to admit it or not), your enjoyment of the film will likely hinge most on whether or not you're up for the long, strange descent into madness.

I had a similar experience to my Southland theatrical journey; at a certain point, I stopped trying to make sense, took the red pill and let Kelly show me once again how deep the rabbit-hole would go. Yes, it's hilarious at times, mostly at times when it's not supposed to be. But it's also intriguing, full of ideas, scary, and thoughtful. Mostly, it comes down to this: given the choice between a sane, unmemorable film and a batshit crazy, unforgettable one, I'll choose the latter every time. After all, on occasion, it just might be great. You know, like Donnie Darko.

Fletch's Film Rating:

"Darn tootin!"

Shaky Cam Rating (details):	LAMBScore:

TGITDNMAR (11/6/09)

2009-11-06T22:29:00.001-07:00

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

Lots to get to, so let's get to it.

A Christmas Carol
The first time I saw the original trailer for this Bob Zemekis CGI-motion capture 3-D extravaganza, I was filled with hate. As you might recall, I grew up with the George C. Scott 1984 (televised) version that co-starred Cheers own Robin Colcord (or whatever his name was). I would call it a very traditionalist version of Dickens' book, despite the fact that I haven't read Dickens' book. It just oozes "olde England," a sentiment I know to be true because I've seen pictures of England and watched numerous Harry Potter films.

Anyway, the sight of Scrooge flying to the moon (Alice) on the cone of truth was enough to sent tiny icicles of hate flying from my body. After a few viewings, though, I got off my old school soapbox and tried to open my mind to a new interpretation; so long as the spirit and message are there, that's what matters, right?

But then they had to come along and release a second trailer, one in which Scrooge can be seen being turned into a miniature version of himself and sliding down some icy slope. If that weren't bad enough (it is), we're treated to the knee-slappin' humor of him ramming through (whaddaya know?) numerous baby icicles, all whacking him in the nuts. Bob Saget and Tom Bergeron would be proud. Dickens, however, is likely in his grave, hitting himself in the groinal region as hard as he can and as many times as he can, all until he's able to forget the abomination of an adaptation that's been made from his work.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

The Box
Though I'd almost like to see Men/Goats more, Mrs. Fletch and I will be off seeing Richard Kelly's (Donnie Darko, Southland Tales) latest tonight. Why, you ask?

Because good or bad, it's almost guaranteed to be interesting, a quality most modern films lack. Yes, it's gotten some terrible reviews - but it's also earned some raves, and from folks whose opinion I respect (okay, so I've only seen this one).

But if you, like me, have seen Southland Tales, you know that Kelly won't disappoint either way. Even if The Box is a failure, it ought to be a fantastic failure. Though the rush to see it is fear of commercial failure; it might not be in theaters next week (ST was gone after one weekend in Phoenix), whereas Goats ought to have a long run.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 100%

Update: Just returned from The Box. Wow. So many words that I have no words at this point. Though I'm a few reviews behind, expect one on this soon.

Precious: Based on a Really Long Title That Seems to Serve No Purpose Other to Be Really Long. After All, Who Really Cares Who Sapphire Is? I Mean, Have You Ever Heard of This Sapphire Person? I Didn't Think So.
Yea, it looks good. Even though Mariah doesn't, but I suppose that's the point. I wonder how bad that makes Precious feel that Mariah has to ugly herself up to get into this movie? Kind of cruel given the content of the film, if you ask me.

I'm a big fan of posters that could double as works of art; this one is pretty rad, unlike the ones above and below it, which are standard-fare "floating star heads" (though at least the Goats one has some humor in it).
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 82%

The Men Who Stare at Goats
Does Ewan McGregor have a little Colin Farrell in him, in that he stinks as an actor any time he adopts a straight American accent? That's the vibe I get from the trailer for goats; not sure, what it is, but I just like him a lot less when he sounds like me, I guess. Think about it - The Island, uh, other examples, and that one movie. Oh well, I haven't seen his entire filmography - maybe you can help me out. (By the way, Big Fish does not count, as he was pure Southern Comfort there.)

Anyway, it looks funny enough, and has a hell of a cast. I'm not expecting an award winner, just a good time.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 94%

The Fourth Kind
God, this flick is just begging to be included in my next installment of "Imagining sequels that won't happen," isn't it? It's almost too obvious, though.

Milla. Alaska. Abductions. Aliens? It's like Insomnia mixed with a whole bunch of other movies that I don't really care about.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 11%

Survivor: Samoa Episode 8 Recap/Live Blog

2009-11-05T18:58:00.009-07:00

I don't know if it's just because I've had a busy week, but it feels like it's been two weeks since the last episode. Thankfully, it hasn't; it's just my memory that's going.

7:02: Russell is sleeping with his shoe acting as a pillow. Don't even let anyone tell you that Survivor is phony. If I never have to use my shoe as a pillow it will be too soon.

7:06: Laura (and her bolt-ons) is almost pretty, but there's something very skelton-y or something about her. And I find her really annoying. I know, this is the kind of insight you've come for here on the Survivor live blog. What can I say - we all know there's a merge happening; until a challenge or the merge actually happens, there's only so much of the Shambo-Laura Snip Fest that I can take.

7:07: Erik in his Tree Cave Hole! Take a shot!

7:09: Uh-oh, Jeff got his job outsourced once again. In other (totally unsurprising) news, the tribes have now merged. Let the show (and maybe strategy?!?) begin. Finally, now we might be able to learn about the members of Galu (or was it Foa Foa?).

7:11: As usual, Russell is the only one we hear talking about strategy post-merge. Shhhhhhhocking.

7:12: Before I forget, I'd like to remind you all to head to your local theaters this weekend and support Danger Dave's new movie, The Men Who Stare at Goats. Dave co-stars in this zany comedy with George Clooney, Jeff Bridges, and Ewan McGregor. A great time to be had for the entire family!

7:15: Time for a Brett Facial Hair Status Update! It is currently rated as "Not Quite Equal to a Hispanic Ten-Year Old." Congrats, Brett! In no time, you'll be upgraded to "Chin Pubes."

7:17: Aiga? Did I miss the new tribe naming? Where was the team-building exercise?

7:18: As it turns out, I totally missed it. I tell you, typing while watching might not be the best way to experience Survivor.

7:18: Oh...SaaaNAP! Did Laura just have the gall to not kiss Russell's ring? Consider her D-U-N in this little game. Turns out Laura might not be so dumb, letting Russ know that, contrary to his beliefs, he does not in fact hold any cards, trying to win at poker with a busted straight. Lucky for him, the "rocket scientist" and Monica aren't exactly brainiacs, as it seems as though they've bought his act hook, line and sinker. I have to say, I hope Russ's plan works, and not just because he's targeting Laura (though that ain't hurting).

7:25: I'm starting to get suspicious: either Russell is gonna succeed at whatever his plan is, or he's going home. The ENTIRE show has been about him thus far. I know he's interesting (compared to some of these stick figures) and all that, but c'mon, there are plenty of folks out there that we barely know. This is too much.

7:28: The players only get one swing in this Tee Ball Challenge? Weak. A strange bat, a foreign ball, a small course that is easily hit out of - give 'em three swings each, let 'em get a feel for the field, huh?

7:31: Nice to see that the ball is made of that most natural of island materials: painter's tape.

7:33: Russell's attempted marks - John and Laura - each win immunity. I must say, I'm disappointed - probably my two least favorite people there. Will this spell doom for the millionaire (snake) oilman?

7:40: Watch out, contestants - there's a new sheriff in town, and his name in Erik. There's some crazy scrambling going on at Chez Aiga tonight, as members of both former tribes have their heads all over the damn place trying to determine their battle plans for the next several tribal councils. John convinced Erik of his plan to flush Russell's idol out in order to go Monica >> Russell. Jaison (and much of the former) is now desperate to get Erik out of the game. Russell is clueless as to what's going on. Good God, man - we've got some strategizing going on! The only real downside? All this talk about/from Erik, and no sight of the Tree Cave Hole thing. My emotions are all over the place.

7:47: Erik might be being an ass (and sabotaging his own place in the game), but he's dead right about Jaison: he hasn't done a damn thing in this game. Success in the real world doesn't mean a goddamn thing in Survivor, friends - just ask the doctors and lawyers and former NFL quarterbacks that have been ousted solely because of their positions in life. Jaison's been mostly useless, and at this point, I can't say that I'd be sad to see him go. As for Erik - what with Russell's hero turn over the last several weeks, we could use a new villain (and of course, I need my Tree Cave Hole, but you already knew that).

7:50: This is easily the most exciting vote in years, and that includes final episodes. Okay, maybe that's slight hyperbole. But it's good, anyway.

7:52: Good for Russell. I think playing his hidden idol was a smart choice, and I think he'll be fine long-term in the game.

7:53: Ok, maybe playing the idol wasn't wise. And then again, maybe he won't be alright - he obviously hadn't a clue as to what was about to go down. Not a single vote for Russ thus far.

7:55: Meantime, Erik and my beloved TCH are gone! He's been BAMBOOZLED!

Survivor news at Survivor.com
Survivor homepage at CBS.com

So, who's ready for The Wicker Man Returns?

2009-11-03T16:00:00.001-07:00

The original title of Nicolas Cage's 1994 film It Could Happen to You was Cop Gives Waitress Two Million Dollar Tip. I can't think of anything more ironic. Cage is currently married to a former waitress and, as the video below explains in great detail, is wildly in need of that two million dollars back.

Seriously, though: all this hullabaloo about a broke (whaa! whaa!) Cage is, although on the surface quite pleasing to me, really just a sad p.r. move or something. Aside from constantly getting paid millions of dollars (I chronicled many of his upcoming projects a few months ago, many of which have been released by now), we're told how he's had to sell mansion after castle after mansion in order to pay off his IRS debts. I'm no math major, but six million in back taxes versus 30-some million in sold (or on the market) real estate properties tells me that the former Mr. Coppola will be alright, even if (God forbid!) he has to sell them for a loss. Guess what, buddy - it's a shitty economy. Everyone's that's selling is selling their homes for a loss these days.

The Dude That Does Stuff Movie Plot Game #4

2009-11-03T12:30:00.007-07:00

Last Week's Results: Myherobobhope practically swept the round, nailing 7/15 right out of the gate.

The concept is overwhelmingly simple; below are 15 movie plots, torn down to their basest base, and invariably involving the words "dude" and/or "stuff." All you must do is name the film. 1 point per correct answer; he/she with the most points wins. Google to your heart's content; it will do you no good. Many films might match the plots you see below, but there is only one correct answer, and that's the one that's in my head when I write it.

Have fun with this stuff, dudes and dudettes. The difficulty level for this edition has hopefully been kicked up a notch, from "pretty damn easy" to "damn, a lot of these are pretty friggin' vague."

1. Dudes are kinda clueless; manage to do important stuff anyway.
2. Dude has to look after dudettes and little dude.
3. Dude feels bad for all the stuff he used to do.
4. Dude really wants to do stuff. Being better than his brother at stuff is a perk, too.
5. Dudes team up and do some pretty gay stuff.
6. Little dude goes forward in time; just wants to go home and stuff.
7. Dude is awesome at counting stuff.
8. Incredibly stupid stuff happens.
9. Dude now has the ability to do all the stuff he wants.
10. Dude talks to another dude about a lot of stuff.
11. Dude hates new dudes and dudettes and their stuff.
12. Little dude becomes a star amongst big dudes.
13. Dude listens to a really long story about two other dudes.
14. Dude loses stuff; learns he didn't really need it after all.
15. Dude gets really pissed off, does a lot of wacky stuff.

As you get them right, I'll mark them as gotten and stuff. Good luck.

Standings
Myherobobhope - 1.5
BD79 - 1
Nic Cage - .5

Correct answers so far:
1. Spies Like Us (Myherobobhope)
2. Uncle Buck (JacksSmirkingRevenge)
3. American History X (Jason Soto)
4.
5. Blades of Glory (Myherobobhope)
6. Flight of the Navigator (Jess)
7. 21 (Alex)
8. The Happening (JacksSmirkingRevenge)
9. Bruce Almighty (BD79)
10. Frost/Nixon (Justin)
11. Gran Torino (JacksSmirkingRevenge)
12. Rookie of the Year (Univarn)
13.
14.
15. Falling Down (BD79)

Stained Glass Cinema Sunday (#65)

2009-11-01T11:22:00.005-07:00

If you're the first person to see this and you don't get it, you might as well just stop playing the game. They don't get much easier than this...

Standings:
J.D. - 12
Fletch - 11
Nick - 6
Wendymoon, Clive Dangerously - 5
Jason/Daniel, David Bishop - 3
Evan Derrick, Jason Soto, BD79, Rachel - 2
Steel11Kane, TonyD, Luke Harrington, Adam Ross, Justin, Anders, Dreamrot, Dave, JLG, Big Mike Mendez - 1

Here are the altered/actual posters from last time:

TGITDNMAR (10/30/09)

2009-10-30T20:22:00.000-07:00

It's that time again for TGITDNMAR, which (obviously) stands for Thank God It's The Day New Movies Are Released.

(This) Is it just me, or has this been a pretty rotten year overall at the movies? The Academy's move to 10 Best Picture nominees is looking worse and worse by the day. Any number of projections for the films most likely to be included are filled with movies yet to be released, and though they may be the case every year, I feel like there are typically at least a handful of surefire nominees released at this point. Meanwhile, of the films that have come out, could you even make a list of five nominees? The Hurt Locker, Inglourious Basterds, and Up are about all that come to mind. Precious, The Lovely Bones, Nine...no pressure, you guys.

This Is It
The media hype machine has been all over this one, with the producers of the film seemingly intent on convincing us of its commercial success more than its artistic merit prior to its arrival. I'm surprised they didn't market it as "the top grossing concert film of the year" before today; of course, it's sure to reach that distinction, but only due to a lack of competition.

Meanwhile, I have to wonder (I'm sure the answer is out there somewhere): was this film planned prior to Jackson's death, or was it culled from standard making-of footage on the quick in order to capitalize on Jacko's demise? It may indeed by that the former is the case, but it sure feels like the latter.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing (in the theater): 0%

Gentleman Broncos
Whereas Jack Black felt (and was, to a point) all wrong for Napoleon Dynamite director Jared Hess's ND follow-up, Flight of the Conchords star Jemaine Clement feels just right. It's no coincidence; Clement's last starring vehicle, Eagle vs. Shark, sure looked like the successor to Napoleon. Back in the US and with the help of a more rounded cast, including Sam Rockwell, Jennifer Coolidge and Mike White, Hess seems to be back on track. I'm more than willing to find out.
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 89%

The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day
The little sequel that could. Long a cult hit with an army of rabid fans, Boondock Saints finally gets it sequel, a decade after the original came and left theaters. Surely stars Sean Patrick Flannery and Norman Reedus were game; their careers haven't really gone anywhere since the first, starring mostly in B movies and nabbing bit parts in TV shows and higher profile films. Chances are, you're either dying to see this or could not care less; I'm somewhere in the middle, having neither great love or distaste for the original. Though even if you are dying to see it, you probably won't get the chance - this one doesn't seem to be getting all that wide a release either. I smell a cult hit all over again!
Fletch's Chance of Viewing: 12%

Survivor: Samoa Episode 7 Recap/Live Blog

2009-10-29T18:55:00.007-07:00

So...who's gonna die tonight? Are you ready for some football? Well tough, but Survivor seems to always be good for some rough play. Off we go...

7:01: We're coming to you live from Eric's fabulous Tree Cave Hole Thing. Slightly ingenious, but mostly weird. Cracks me up every time I see him in there.

7:02: Uh-oh...someone just said "bros before hos" - time to take another shot. Time to change the game - we will now take shots for every time they show Eric in his Tree Cave Hole. I expect to be drunk by the midway point.

7:07: You know what the best thing is about the next episode after an episode where no one was voted out? We get equal time for each tribe at the start of the show. How refreshing.

7:09: Ingenious plan by the Galu guys making ShamWow their new "leader" (there's a Leadership Necklace? WTF?!?). This ought to equal some high, high comedy.

7:10: You know what's one thing that I never, ever needed to see in this lifetime? ShamWow's armpit hair. Kill me quickly.

7:11: The reward is lunch on a boat? And the contestants are thrilled? Sounds like a sh*tty reward to me. You're on an island! You see the ocean every friggin' day; whoopity do if it happens to be from a boat! Sure, the lunch is sure to be nicer than their normal diet of rice and unspiced fish, but I can think of many much better challenges (shower with spa, tools, a toilet, etc.).

7:13: If someone gets injured playing Memory, it might be time to cancel the show...

7:14: Going back a minute or two...um, since Shambo is sitting out of the challenge, she had to assign a decision maker for the tribe? What is going on here - when did this show turn into preschool? Of course, an amusing bit of course did ensue when her choice was immediately poo-pooed by Kevin Spacey, after which Sham immediately acquiesced. Some leader.

7:16: A few minutes ago, Mrs. Fletch mentioned that the blonde girl on Galu that we've barely seen or heard from looks like Scarlett Johansson. True that. Strange, then, that she is the lone invisible player remaining. CBS, why aren't you spotlighting this person? Of course, this gives me an excuse to put up a ScarJo picture, so win-win.

7:18: Of course, as I'm typing that, Invisigirl is given a spotlight in the confessional. Her name is Kelly! Hi Kelly, nice to meet you.

7:19: In case you couldn't tell, I didn't care much for that challenge. Bo-ring. I did enjoy watching ShamWow attempt to hold back her smirk when she sent the player she most hates, Laura, off to the other camp, thereby missing out on the reward. I'm no ShamLover, but Laura, who hates ShamWow as well, really looks like a bitch. I'm glad she got sent.

7:23: "I'm a womens' minister. I don't want to be a pastor of men; I don't think that's a woman's role," says Laura. No wonder I don't like her - I can think of about eight reasons just in that sentence why I don't like her.

7:25: Brilliant, Russell. Laura's not there 10 minutes (seemingly) and he's all over her like white on rice, working his cajun mojo charm.

7:26: Monica reminds me of a former Survivor player, but I have no idea whom.

7:26: See? They go out on this supposed reward, and what happens? They're put to work and fed beef stew. I'd have rather not gone. Jerks.

7:34: Women are so funny. If I were in Shambo's shoes (or Laura's) and my hated rival just got back from an exile of sorts, the last thing I'm doing is giving him a hug.

7:35: Shambo's been there for two weeks and she barely knows John's name. I don't feel so bad now.

7:35: This episode is really starting to piss me off. Jeff just bitched at Foa Foa because no one was wearing the vaunted Leadership Necklace. Heaven forbid! Thank goodness they told him that they did, in fact, still have an All-Hallowed Leader and that they merely felt the necklace was bad luck. Jeff was about to tattle on them to Principal Belding or something like that.

7:40: That looked like one of the harder puzzles that the game team has drawn up. Galu wins again! Liz...Jaison...who will be going home? I'll stick with Liz; Russell might be pissed at Jaison, but losing teams always seem to stick to the "we need men for the challenges!" tactic.

7:42: Just thought of this: Laura's a pastor, ShamWow's a lesbian. Might explain their distaste for each other. Just maybe.

7:48: So is that guy Mick the anti-Jack Shephard or the uber-Jack Shephard? All I know it, he's the most boring island doctor in pop culture history. I could not care less about him one way or another. C'mon, Professor, make a radio or something with that big brain of yours.

7:51: Jaison: "I actually do feel like I have some large responsibility in these losses." Dude! There are only five of you - if you lose a challenge, you're essentially guaranteed a 20% share in that responsibility! Suck ass like you did and all of a sudden (whaddaya know?) your share hikes up closer to 50%. So yeah, I'd say you were pretty responsible. Dummy. I have 80% turned on Jaison.

7:53: However, my supersmarts were correct yet again. The weakest female (Liz) was voted out yet again. Sadly, she will not be missed by anyone.

7:55: CBS might want to alter the text of the Family Moment when there's only one person doling out that moment. Makes it more depressing than anything. Just say "Liz's brother" or "husband" or whatever.

7:57: Next time on...Survivor Live Blog: a merge and champagne and other craziness. So long as Eric's Tree Cave Hole makes an appearance, it's all good for me.

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