tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8588702186672856732.post-57287963699204082902008-03-21T19:51:00.004Z2008-03-21T19:54:19.349Z<a href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_lOZSBJae4lQ/R-QR_PZMZlI/AAAAAAAAAB8/EWg4Zyv4NwE/s1600-h/cabelsasser.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_lOZSBJae4lQ/R-QR_PZMZlI/AAAAAAAAAB8/EWg4Zyv4NwE/s320/cabelsasser.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5180285249544545874" /></a>Although Panic, Inc. is one of the most prestigious of the indie houses&#151;gobbling up Apple Design Awards aplenty and raking in the accolades&#151;no one knows much about their founders, particularly one Cabel Sasser, a man possessed of petrifying pectorals and a mesmerizing gluteus maximus.<br /><br />The Mac Nose has learned that Cabel keeps his physique super fit with a regimen of pokemon-fighting and a diet composed not of normal foodstuffs, but an amalgamation of chemicals stuffed into taste treats that make the mind boggle.<br /><br />Sasser sometimes slips his secrets into his blog, whereupon readers may gaze with awe on the "nutritive" "edibles" the man drops into his digestive system, which sources claim is made not from weak flesh as most mere mortals, but titanium, brushed into a sub-glossy metal, harnessed into subtly pin-striped wiring with candy-colored buttons to speed up, cancel, or redirect digestion.<br /><br />"He had the plumbing re-done in '02, and Aqua was all the rage," said one panicked peep who declined attribution. "He used to show it off all the time, but now I think he's just embarrassed he's allowed his culinary canal to become so dated."<br /><br />Regardless of design gaffes, Sasser's tract allows for him to extract every shred of micro-, macro-, and mega-nutrient from each gustatory delight he devours.<br /><br />This, along with his daily digital battles with Dugtrio, have helped to carve his body into a god-like shape that not many have seen. <br /><br />"He keeps it under wraps most of time," said a quiet man who identified himself as Fteven Srank. "But man, when he gets into one of his glamourous drunken karaoke rages, off comes the shirt, and man. . . just, wow."<br /><br />Sasser has also been spotted supplementing his daily exercise regimen by rolling a ball of ever-increasing mass around the Pearl District of Portland.<div class="blogger-post-footer">The Mac Nose</div>macnosehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17130045549060597836noreply@blogger.com