این که فکر میکنم

Iran So Far Away

2009-06-21T13:16:00.000-07:00

After watching daily the riots in Iran, reading twitter feed after twitter feed of Iranian University students witnessing the violence in the streets of Iran, and hearing eye witness accounts of what is happening from my relatives it's becoming clear to me I won't be allowed to go to Iran this summer. But seeing all this change happen makes me want to be there to witness it myself.

This will now be my 3rd failed attempt to go to Iran in my life. I'm not sure what's there that someone up there doesn't want me to see, but I'm going to use every resource available to get there before the school year begins again.

The Summer of Dreams

2009-05-13T11:34:00.000-07:00

So this summer I decided is going to be a summer of personal improvement. I have a list of goals I want to accomplish that I'm going to work on every day/week:
1. Bike the glacial trail from Madison to my house in Waukesha
2. Read a book a week
3. Learn to play guitar
4. Learn Spanish
5. Learn to write Farsi

This blog will serve as my accountability, aka I'll have to write what I did every day and I'll feel like a douche if I neglected one of the goals during the week.

So by the end of the summer I will be able to:
1. Bike to my house from my apt
2. Have read 12 books
3. Play 5 songs on my guitar
4. Hold a conversation in Spanish
5. Be able to write in farsi

I hate politics

2009-04-30T07:57:00.000-07:00

So turns out getting to Iran this summer is going to be more difficult than expected. Iranian elections are coming up and the Iranian embassy is telling me I can't stay for very long because I'm an American. Sweet.

L'Avenir

2009-04-18T08:20:00.000-07:00

Dad: Meemee, you need to get your life in order and get your head out of the clouds. School is number one.
Me: Dad I don't care about school. The only people who care about my undergrad grades in the long run are you and mom and grandma. Especially since I'm not planning on grad school.
Dad: Well what are you going to do with your life then??? You are going to be a bum aren't you! I knew you didn't want to do anything with your life!!!

Plan for my life:
December 2010- Graduate
Summer 2011- Move to Iran
2011-2012 year Internship in Iran...doing ANYTHING
2012-2013 Intensive Arabic classes in Dubai University
2013-2014 Return to America and pray someone needs an Arabic, Farsi, or French translator.

If that's not the sweetest life plan ever I don't know what is.

To the Princess

2009-03-16T10:40:00.000-07:00

I've had requests to make this post, so here we go.

For those of you who didn't know: Monica Sharma is an Indian Princess. She is also a carpet muncher, but you didn't hear that from me.

Another Incredible AIESEC Experience

2009-02-23T17:03:00.000-08:00

Not quite as incredible as my traineeship, but certainly another heart-felt experience was this past weekend with the Rowdies Region for ROKS. It was AMAZING talking to all the different AIESECers old and new. It was especially cool because I actually have a pretty substantial influence in Madison and so I have an idea of our structure and how we can keep improving. Because of this I could have really meaningful conversations with AIESECers around the region involving their LCs.

Every semester I keep wondering what I will learn and every semester my mind is continually blown. I sometimes look forward in my life and wonder where I'm headed. Then I realize if I keep pushing myself to meet new people, discover new ideas, and work with different minds, I'll never feel unfulfilled.

A prochaine mes amis :)

2009-01-12T11:07:00.000-08:00

Seeing a lot of my friends leaving for foreign countries on new and exciting adventures was a lot easier than I thought it would be.
1. I know they'll be back to frolic once again in glorious Madison
2. They are going to have the time of their lives, and it would be cruel for me to be selfish
3. When they return they'll tell me about all their amazing experiences, and I'll feel like I too have all those experiences in my memory

I just read The World Is Flat by Thomas Friedman for the second time and recalled what had been shoved in the back of my brain before: The world is flat, and everyone on it can now see everyone else. Globalization definitely has it's faults but then again, it definitely has it's advantages also.

Hello Self, nice to meet you

2008-11-30T12:07:00.000-08:00

I know I need a break when I take a look at all the shit I have to study for and think "I couldn't care less, actually."

Then I drift off and dream about a mud hut in the middle of the village where I first met myself at my worst and best. Where I looked myself in the eyes and didn't run from what I saw, but stood my ground and felt the one thing I was searching for all those years: Acceptance.

And then I wake up and stare back down at the pile of shit and smile.

Life is a battle you fight with anonymous allies. It's an uphill battle until you realize your best ally is yourself, and yourself is not nearly as bad as you thought.

Aaaaand breathe out

2008-11-20T11:20:00.000-08:00

For everyone who thought this would never happen.

Thank God for the next four years.

Give me Equilibrium

2008-11-11T08:17:00.000-08:00

It's so hard to find a balance between social life and academic life. I've tried mixing the two by studying with friends- but that tends to lean a little to one side, which did not help my econ exam grade. Aiesec is so great because it opens the door for so many opportunities and not to mention a million awesome people to meet and talk to. But the only problem is that the urgency to get good grades fades with your loneliness. Its so hard to find motivation when all you want to do is hang out with all the lovely people you know. If anyone knows how to find that balance, you should let me know.

It's not you, it's me

2008-10-31T06:50:00.001-07:00

I never considered friendships as fickle things.....and I still don't. But I believe high school friendships can't be anything but fickle, considering for the most part the only thing you all have in common is that the social hierarchy of your school decided you would all be in the same social group and so you are kind of forced to be friends. Sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. High school friendships that can last all through college without falling apart through exposing their illegitimacy are stronger than you could imagine, and also few and far between.

I guess the biggest shocker is realizing after so many years that the friendship you once had with someone was completely based on superficiality. What makes it worse is when you realize that all these years when you thought you were thinking clearly and logically you missed this crucial fault over and over again. Why do some friendships turn into obligations? You know you are no good for each other but yet you stay friends. Why? Because it's been that way for so long? Because you'd feel like a douche saying it's not working anymore?

Things are getting pretty exciting

2008-10-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

I missed all the AIESEC activities this weekend, but first coach group is less than 2 days away, waking my ass up at 5am to bike in the freezing cold is over, I finally learned time management, and I'm getting $12/hr to do what I would pay someone to let me do.

All in all... Life is good.

The Mysteries of Life...

2008-10-12T17:01:00.000-07:00

Impossible to believe in until you realize them. And even then, they could be right in front of you waiting to be seen but still invisible to the eye that refuses to acknowledge them.

We're told they come in a wave like an epiphany. But what we're not told is that they are not only difficult to see, but difficult to hold on to. You think you've got it figured out but the truth is you can look away for a moment and find yourself as ignorant as ever.

You know when...

2008-09-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

...you first meet someone and think, "God this person looks dumber than a stump". And then you actually talk to them and you find out that they are actually one of the coolest, most informed people you have ever met?

I love those times.

Reinvention or Revolution?

2008-09-14T22:17:00.000-07:00

I'm always reevaluating my life and everything in it. Changing what needs some shaking up, keeping some things constant, and always on the look out for new things. I guess this need to revamp is inborn for the most part. Lord knows if we just stayed constant with everything and felt no need for change we would still be in the stone age. Really it's pretty healthy, but at the same time I find myself questioning things I never used to doubt before; things that I really wish I could still believe in.

But if I'm not getting everything I need out of something, why stay with it?

Reflections

2008-09-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

We start on the journey to realizing who we are without any map or directions. We fall down again and again but somehow we manage to end up on our feet and keep going.

This entire time we are all aware that all we have to do is to look in the mirror. But then we will see things we don't want to see, and be forced to accept the things about ourselves that we've been masking before. So in effect, the journey is not to find ourselves, the journey is working up the balls to look in the mirror, without fear and with the vow that we will embrace everything we see, good or bad.

The scariest part is looking in the mirror, with eyes wide open. The best part is doing this, and realizing what you see isn't half bad, and in fact is something worth being proud of.

Is it worth it?

2008-09-04T17:03:00.001-07:00

Do you flea or do you fight? Should you fight for something that could potentially never become a reality? But on the other hand, is it worth leaving and then later finding out that the goal was accomplished but you weren't a part of it?

These are the questions that keep me up at night.

About that

2008-09-02T13:41:00.000-07:00

In the new issue of The Economist this week:

The New Jersey Pest Management Association organised a cockroach race representing the presidential contest. John McCain’s roach won, but ominously appeared to fall asleep the moment it crossed the finishing line.

Burying the hatchet

2008-09-01T19:48:00.000-07:00

I thought I had buried the bad feelings I had upon returning to America, but as more people began coming back I started to feel the same feels all over again. I feel like a part of me got left behind in Africa, and although what was left behind were bad character traits, I can't help but miss them a little just because they're not there anymore.

Letting go of who you are is the worst feeling in the world. But when you realize that you let go of the parts of you that have been holding you back it's a whole different story.

Coucou Mon Amour

2008-07-17T12:06:00.001-07:00

The United States...

...is fucking glorious.

I've never felt so lucky in my whole life to be an American.

No Need To Say Goodbye

2008-07-11T02:58:00.000-07:00

This is the end of my stay here in Cote d’Ivoire, but it just the beginning of my journey.
Ok that was super freakin cheesy and I’m really sorry but I had to say it. I can finally write all the things that have happened to me because I’ll be home before my mom has time to freak out. I’ve gone through a lot of stuff here, and questioned everything I have believed in. I have also found belief in things I never would have before. I’ve seen girls get circumcised, I’ve had a machine gun pressed against my forehead (mom don’t freak), I’ve run from an exploding building, I’ve had a child die in my arms, I’ve watched countless other people breathe their last, I’ve been pushed around and made fun of daily because of my white skin and my inability to understand the native tongue here, I’ve met some of the most bizarre people, I’ve nearly gone insane a few times, and I’ve spent some nights crying me eyes out because I couldn’t handle all the emotions going through me…and I’ve never been happier in my whole life.
Shit happens. That’s what I’ve learned here. Shit happens and you deal with it as best you can. I’ve also learned that it is a teenage feeling to want to change the world. No one can change the world, but we can make differences. No action is too small. You may feel you have no way of making a difference in the world, but you have no idea how many lives you’ve touched just by living yourself. If you’ve ever given someone money when they were low on cash, if you’ve ever shared your umbrella with someone in the pouring rain, if you’ve ever gone out of your way at all to help someone else, you’ve made a difference, and it may seem small but you have no idea what it meant to the person on the receiving end. As I write this now, a song by the amazingly talented Regina Spektor’s The Call runs through my head. This may be the end of my first real adventure, but there is no need to say goodbye. I’ve got loads of new ideas, no approaches, and new perspectives, and a new plan for my path in life. Not to say I have a path already, I’ve yet to create it, but I have an idea of how I want to go about things now. I feel like I’ve matured about 20 years since I’ve been here (although I still act mentally challenged when I have a lot of sugar so no worries people). I’ve also found I am a lot calmer. I never used to be able to concentrate a lot on things because I always wanted to be running all over, but now I can sit for a long time and just read. It’s a great feeling to just sit and think, to just take a step back and look at the world from a different perspective. Now I can't wait to come home and use what I've learned. But I think I'm done blogging for a little while. I just won't have anything cool to say when I am back in Madison now that I've experienced all this! But maybe I'll drop by every once in a while to put in my two cents. Thanks for listening to my rambling even though Uncle Sam cut it short. I can’t wait to see you all when I get back home and thanks for all you’ve done for me. Also thanks for leaving comments on my blogs so I knew anyone actually read them!

Just a Little Add-On

2008-07-09T02:23:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of the saddest days of my life. Actually I could say that for about half the days I've been here, but yesterday was especially sad. Roxanne and Junior were fighting as usual, and as usual Roxanne runs crying to her mom to get Junior in trouble. But today she actually had a reason to be upset, as Junior ripped out all the pages in her coloring book just to be a douche. So she went crying to her mom, but instead of comforting her, she threw Roxanne on the bed and whacked her 5 times with a broom and told her not to come crying to her every second. She then took her nails and scratched Roxanne's leg and pushed her out of the room.

I was shocked. I was disgusted, I was so angry. Why would you do that to a 4 year old girl?! I told Roxanne to come to me and I put her on my lap and wrapped my arms around her. I pressed my cheek to hers and could feel her tears running down. In that moment I was no longer myself, and she was no longer Roxanne. We were much more than that. In my mind she represented all the little kids I had seen in the villages: starving, abused, ignored, left behind. And by holding her tight I felt like I was holding all of those little boys and girls. In my head if I held them tight enough to harm would befall them ever again. They would all be loved and cared for. I held her so tight I was surprised she didn't say anything to me. But I wasn't exactly aware of what was going on either. I was thinking back, remembering all the faces, the little innocent faces staring up at me. Images that will be burned in my mind forever.

This is my add-on. AIESEC could do so much to impact people's lives. And after a particular email I received yesterday, I am proud to call AIESEC-Madison home, once again. Let the games begin, and let the voices be heard.

Don't Feed Me Bullshit

2008-07-08T03:05:00.000-07:00

I've been spending a lot of time thinking. Mainly because my replacement has already been adequately trained and my only purpose before my departure on Sunday is to sit and stare at my Mac. Although I do get to chat on yahoo messenger with all the Cote d'Ivoire AIESECers working away in the LC hang out, bringing in trainees, shipping out trainees, spreading HIV/AIDS awareness, and going around to local businesses/NGOs to ask for sponsorship. I'm realizing something profound each and every day I am here. I'm going to be extremely blunt here I hope none of you are offended. Actually no, I do hope some of you are offended because that means I got my point across. Why did I leave the United State on May 29, 2008 feeling sick to my stomach whenever I thought about my past semester in AIESEC? Because all of us in AIESEC-Madison were finally told what AIESEC really was: a business. Basically I was told the entire year that TNs are so great and they'll change your life because you'll meet AIESECers and love each other and get the AIESEC experience blah blah blah blah and I believed it all. I ate all those lies like they were candy. I was on an AIESEC high. I cared more about what I thought was "AIESEC work" than I did about my classes, because I believed we were doing something great. I believed we were working for a better tomorrow, for world understanding, for cultural awareness. And then at the end of the year we were all informed that no, events don't matter, feelings don't matter, it's all about exchange for a profit. AIESEC is a business, I get that. And leaving America, I was so angry I couldn't stand it. I left thinking this: AIESEC is nothing but a group of people who sit around and talk about change and love. It makes you feel good to be in AIESEC because you all love each other and everything is just fucking rosy as hell.
Now I have to apologize. I have to apologize to AIESEC Cote d'Ivoire, because my previous statement is not true in their case at all. I saw kids get excited to learn about HIV/AIDS because the AIESECers made it fun to learn about it. I saw businesses give sponsorship to AIESECers so they could travel to the Brazil conference without paying any money out of pocket. Why did the businesses give some rando kids money to take a field trip to Brazil? Because the AIESECers here have done so much to help the kids of Cote d'Ivoire that businesses are more than willing to give the AIESECers opportunities to go abroad, meet other people with similar experiences, and bring back that knowledge to further their achievements. Isn't that what we all signed up for? I know I did. AIESEC was presented to me as a way to change lives. What did I do Fall/Spring 2007-2008? I didn't change lives, that's for sure. And no one can tell me it's because I didn't do anything either. So what happened? I don't know either. But I can tell you that I can honestly say I have changed lives while I've been here. AIESEC gave me the opportunity to see things I would never have dreamed I would see. It let me experience things I never dreamed I would experience. Of course I am talking about AIESEC Cote d'Ivoire. AIESEC US gave me nothing but a hole in my stomach.
I know what you're thinking, "Meena, if you love Cote d'Ivoire so much, why don't you stay there." I'm really not trying to be a bitch. And I can't stay here because I am getting kicked out. In truth I am no longer a USA hater. I love the United States. I am so so SO grateful I was born there and get to reap the benefits of having an opportunity to succeed. I am just really super frustrated and disgusted. I want everyone to realize how much AIESEC-US...AIESEC-Madison could do if we cut the bullshit and did something. I'm realizing that I was truly brainwashed earlier in the year thinking AIESEC-US actually did any good for anyone else but themselves. I get it now. And if anyone can bring me to the light please speak, because I am so far from rejoining AIESEC in the Fall. Can someone tell me the point? Are we going to make things happen next semester or are we just going to smoke some shisha and talk about nothing?

Bonne arrive Tantie Carole

2008-07-07T02:45:00.000-07:00

I woke up Friday morning hearing the screams of girls being circumcised in my head. I shot up and looked around, only to find Ami and Sabine staring at me thinking I had finally gone mad. I assured them everything was fine and so the most bizarre weekend of my life began. I didn't have to work Friday because it was the 4th of July and since my NGO is funded by the US government, they observe the same holidays as we do. Which was really good for me because I am so beat. At the same time Tantie Carole came over for the weekend to meet me. She is definitely really strange/insane. She is Amed's mother and Liza's sister and she spent 0 time with either of them. All she wanted to do was talk to me, sit with me, go places with me. Normally I would have been annoyed, but she is literally a character from Harry Potter. She talks with a shrill voice and is constantly bouncing around saying quirky things. She actually really reminds me of Mrs. Weasley because she will scream at Amed to go do something, and then turn around and be rosy to me not a second later. She also would whisk me away to nearby villages so I could meet her million friends. I humored her by telling her she was so popular, but actually I could tell that everyone thought she was crazy and were just nice to her because she wouldn't go away. She is also obsessed with babies, like someone else I know and if we passed anyone with a baby she would smother it and ask the mom if we could borrow it for a while. Borrow it for a while?!??! Africans are nice people, but they are not going to let a complete stranger borrow their child, psycho. So yeah that was extremely entertaining. Except then she told me I had to go to church with her on Saturday. I don't understand why everyone wants me to go to church with them but OK. I actually was not feeling it at all so I brought Roxanne along with me. I knew she would be tired/bored by the end and so Carole would be obligated to take us home right after. But unfortunately that plan backfired because Carole got invited to a party afterward and made us come with. Apparently party trumps children's needs. I actually I am really glad she made us go though because it was extremely hilarious. When we arrived everyone was like, holy white woman, and these photographers came out of nowhere and started taking pictures of me. I felt like a celebrity taking Roxanne by the hand and walking to our seats trying to avoid the cameras. I actually managed to get my hands on one of the pictures so I can show you all when I get back. But we finally got situated and all the sudden Tantie Carole gets up and leaves. She doesn't come back until 30 minutes later and she has collected 2 babies and has brought them back to our seats. She commands me to take one of them and says "I want this one, she's cuter". Ok I'll take the ugly baby off your hands. She was not ugly at all though, she had huge eyes and this amazing smile. Although at first she was scared of Roxanne and I and would not answer any of our questions. (She was not an infant, she was about 2, so she could legit talk, haha). Roxanne shouted, WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!?!?!? about 10 times while the baby just stared at her. Although after a while she got used to us and we found out her name was Leslie. An hour later she all the sudden jumped off my lap and ran away. Me and Roxanne looked at each other and Roxanne said, "She's a little Bandite isn't she?" (I can't really translate Bandite, it literally means robber but you call someone a Bandite if they don't go along with what you say). It was alright though because it looked like they were starting to serve food so naturally Roxanne and I bolted to the serving line. As we reclaimed our seats and were eating/watching Carole dance around the grass like a crazy woman we saw little Leslie with a Fanta in her hand (Fanta is super popular here) and a completely orange face, running around the dance floor aka vacant grassy area. Through the course of the party we saw her run around with various drinks in her hand. She would stop dead in her tracks, stare at me and Roxanne, give us the biggest smile I've ever seen, take a huge gulp of Fanta and spill it all over herself, and then run away in a crooked line like she was extremely drunk. She's definitely going to be an alcoholic when she gets older.
Well it turned out Carole dragged us to the party because her love interest invited her, but he had left so she saw no reason to stay and told us we had to go. So we thankfully jumped out of our chairs and ran to the taxi that Carole had already hailed. That night Franc came over with two French EPs and they were really great.What was even greater was that I actually understood the conversation that was going on. Yesss. Although they came over at 11 pm and I was so tired so I didn't really contribute to the conversation.

Sunday was interesting. Roxanne and I are so close now I don't even want to think about leaving. I think what really did it was Sunday morning we were all watching Dora the Explorer and Junior starting hitting Roxanne for no reason. Normally she would yell Stop over and over and then go cry to her mom but this time I got up, took her in my arms and yelled at Junior to stop hitting my baby, and then I took her over to the couch to sit with me. After that she wanted to be by me all the time. If I would leave the house to go by a calling card she would come with, if I ate dinner she would demand to eat at the same time. And then Sunday afternoon her friends came over and all hell broke loose. Her friends are SUPER adorable and they are obsessed with me and always try to jump on me and hug me the entire time. But that particular Sunday Roxanne was not willing to share me with her friends and she started telling them if they were going to play with me they had to go home. Then Junior came over and hit her and she started screaming and ran into her room and sobbed. Apparently she was yelling my name over and over but I didn't hear her and when she emerged from her room and saw me playing with her friends she snubbed all of us and retreated to the patio where Sabine was preparing lunch. We all followed her and heard her explain to Sabine that I didn't come when she called and instead played with her friends and she was angry at me. But when she saw me sit down on the patio she jumped on me and wouldn't talk to her friends. Sooo she is mad at me, but only wants to be by me and not her friends. Okkkk. So she made them all go home so she could play with me alone.

This morning (Monday) we watched Dora together again, and ps- in the US Dora speaks English and teaches Spanish words, but in France she speaks French and teaches English words. I thought that was interesting. And we sang all the songs together and when it was time for me to go to work she sobbed and wouldn't let go of my leg until Ahmed dragged her off. I don't want to think about what she's going to do Sunday.

Updates

2008-07-03T01:58:00.000-07:00

I am now finished with my travels around the country. Since I have made it known that I will be leaving next Sunday they are finding a replacement now so I can teach them how to do the job. However I forgot that everything is slower here, so when they say "we'll find a replacement right away" they mean they will find one next week. So now all I do is watch youtube when my boss leaves the office and sit around on facebook. Not a bad gig actually. I am pretty spent emotionally. I was talking to one of my body guards yesterday and I asked him if he had seen V for Vendetta. It so happened he had and I began to explain to him that I feel the same way Evie felt in the film after V made her go through prison and torture. She said she couldn't feel anything. She had no more emotion left. That's exactly how I feel. It's like the truth about the whole world came rushing at me all at once and all I could do was stand there and let it come. I've experienced things here no one should ever have to. I've had to tell a dying mother that her children both tested positive for HIV and have about 2 months to live. I've witnessed a female circumcision. I've had to tell children their mom has died from HIV and they now have to live with someone else. I've had my heart ripped out and stomped on repeatedly. I read the blogs of some other AIESECers who are going all over, hanging at the beach, being crazy having a good time and I'm like, what the hell? They get to go have fun and I have to hold a dying child in my arms and say, "Its going to be alright" over and over when I know full well it won't be alright?

And at the same time I'm glad this all happened. I'm glad I got to give children new homes, with people who genuinely care about them. I get to play with a bunch of 2 year olds and discover over and over their delightful curiosity. Children are the most extraordinary thing I have ever seen. The world is magical, every person they meet taken right from a fairy tale. The princess from a far away land called America who came on her winged horse and saved the children. I have countless children ask me if I am a princess. I usually say yes, both to fuel their imagination and my ego. And then I sit down and tell them stories of my travels. I always knew I embellished stories and that I shouldn't do that, but here embellishment is the only way to go. I tell about my father, Prince of Iran who had to flee the country and come to America. And my mom, the princess of America, bored with her life and wanting adventure when she met the prince and they fell in love. They had a daughter named Meena, who was later stolen from their castle by an evil sorceress and the prince had to fight to win his daughter back. And now 19 years later the princess comes to Africa to help children. That story is a big hit among the kids. They usually ask for more so I have to quick think of stuff on the spot. I love it though. When you are with children you get to live in their world. You get to be dramatic and view everything around you as one big fantasy land.

In this same conversation with my body guard, he really had some interesting things to tell me. He told me I should be thankful I have seen what I have, because I've woken up. The world is no longer this far away place I'll never see. It's all real: all the problems, all the suffering. He said I don't know it yet but I've aged 10 years in the month and a half I've been here. He told me to run with it. He said I was destined for great things and he would be personally offended if he didn't see me on the cover of a newspaper one day doing good for the world.

I'm learning now that nothing happens quickly. So many people want to change the world, but the fact of the matter is that is nearly impossible to do in even 50 years. And to be quite honest, the world can't be completely peaceful. It just can't. Human nature won't allow that. I'm still trying to figure out what actions would need to take place to really try and save the world. And actually I think about it a lot. But I'll have to get back to you on that.
I realize I don't really say what I'm doing, I mostly just ramble on about my thoughts, so I'm going to give you some updates about what I've been up to:

- I now have full apparel from my NGO. This includes 2 t-shirts, a vest with 10 million different pockets, and a hat. We all wear these when we go to the village so we look uniform and official. Although sometimes I feel so official that I want to run in there, blast some James Bond music and walk slow-motion with shades on while my hair blows in the wind. Unfortunately, this does not happen.

- I have seen every brother in my house naked now because apparently I have been here long enough to not count as the opposite sex, therefore giving them privilege to walk around naked as they please. Needless to say I hide in my room when it approaches bathing time.

- Me and one of my body guards Gbaguidi are super tight now. Reasons why he is really entertaining include: he tells me Africa proverbs from his village, he knows Morse code, he tells me about his mistresses and updates on how he needs to hide them from his wife (this apparently is a popular act and sort of accepted), he sings high pitched to Alicia Keys songs, he tells me what he's going to do to anyone who tries to hurt me...which usually include bashing assaulter in the face with his machine gun and then doing crazy kungfu on him before he shoots him in the face. I reeeeally hope no one tries to assault me, for their sake.

- If I compliment my boss he tells me for at least an hour after how intelligent I am

- I taught FRENCH a week ago. Not English, French. The people in the village only spoke their native tongue and didn't know English so I taught them so words so they could communicate. It was freaking awesome.

- I've become the English teacher of Cote d'Ivoire. I have a sheet of paper with common words/phrases in English and French and distribute them daily because people always ask me if I have another for their friend/brother/sister/grandmother

- Someone dies regularly in Tantie Liza's family. She has been to 4 funerals since I've been here and she's going to one this Saturday. That has really nothing to do with me but I just think it's crazy how people are dropping like flies

- I'm doing operation "Don't eat everything in sight". I realized I am an oompa loompa and I need to settle down. I started last week but I have been cheating everyday and yesterday was the first day I was successful in containing myself.

- When I go eat with people who don't know me very well, they all assume I'm going to like spaghetti so they order that. Then I tell them I don't like spaghetti, thinking then they will order Ivorian food for me. Nope, they order fries. So from now on I only eat with people who know I like Ivorian food, haha.

- I read Perez on the daily now that I don't have any work to do. It is highly entertaining I have to admit.