MyPocketZ

Time to Change to Clothes

2008-11-03T18:20:00.000-08:00

We put the clothing allotment into Olivia's account this week. Over the past weekend we did the seasonal clothing switch. Olivia went through what fits and what does not. She handed several things down to her sisters and bagged some for donation. We determined what she needed then what she wanted.

What do you know, she said that what she needs is socks and underwear and what she wants is a Northface fleece and a few more "nicer" shirts ("Not girly ones, Mom").
She knows what she needs and she is going to sleep on the "wants". Its so gratifying when you know they "get it".

Let's bring back "Home Ec"

2008-10-23T18:35:00.000-07:00

Remember when there were practical life skills courses in middle school and high school. How to change a tire, change your oil, sew, wood working.....how to balance your checkbook. What happened? Why don't we teach this stuff anymore? I think, especially now, it is time to put this stuff back into our children's curriculum. And wouldn't it be cool to make it even more real life.

Why not bring the Personal Finance class back into the schools? Or why not have a local bank work with the kids at their schools? How about community jobs for kids coordinated through school? Local charities or philanthropic opportunities, too? How about the cool, fun thing to do is save?

Just an idea or two?

Real-Time Money Talk with Our Kids

2008-10-08T16:21:00.000-07:00

It's a particularly interesting time to be doing these real financial exercises with our kids. With the current financial crisis in this country, there have been a few more articles and forum discussions than normal on helping kids with financial knowledge, budgeting, spending wisely, etc. Newsweek did a good spread on kids and fashion.

Some of the activity we are seeing online are parents posting questions on how should we talk to our children about the financial crisis and fear it is causing. While we all have many views on how and why this happened, one thing keeps coming up: financial illiteracy!

And the responses, though more urgent at the moment, are the same. Do not let this happen to our next generation... Educate your kids well... Teach them that greed never wins... If something is too good to be true, it probably is... And teach them to make decisions based on facts and intuition, and not on the fact that everyone else is doing it.

Visit Prosperity 4 Kids to read their very insightful, latest newsletter.

Learning About Interest

2008-09-25T17:45:00.000-07:00

With some money accumulated in her "stash" (aka: cushion, long term savings), we thought it was time to teach Olivia the concept of interest and how to earn it with her money. We checked our bank's website to see what they had to offer. I explained the basic concept of giving the bank money so that the bank could lend it to other people. In return the bank pays you money, called interest. One way or vehicle that the bank uses is called a CD. "So, Olivia, tomorrow, let's ride our bikes down to the bank and get a CD." She said, "ok" with a bit of a puzzled look, and went off to finish her homework. Well, tomorrow came and when she got home from school, I reminded her of our outing. She said "ok" again, however with reservation. "Do you not want to do this?" I asked her. She said, "It's ok, but why do we have to go to the bank to listen to a CD and how is that going to help me understand interest?" Oh gosh! Generation gap? I laughed and explained. She also laughed and off we went.

Love our bank!!! At 10 minutes before closing, they welcome us in to do this transaction, explain all the details to Olivia and congratulate her on this big step in being financially responsible. They invite her to come in at any time and see how her CD's interest is doing. She signs, goes to the teller, receives her CD paperwork in a nice folder and gets the lollipop, too. I actually think that I am smiling more than her.

She explains all this with pride to her brothers and sisters at dinner . They listen, ask questions, and are all surprised that she will make money by doing nothing. Olivia also added that she feels a little guilty that she gets money for doing nothing and at the same time is glad she can help people achieve a goal they may have like starting a small business or buying a house.

Why wait until they are older (like high school or college) to explain these things to them? Of course, bank finance is complicated. The fundamental concepts are simple. And understanding something like interest motivates them to put more away. Even our youngest kids were getting it, especially with this real life example with their sister. A life long skill......

Vacation Mindset

2008-09-10T05:31:00.000-07:00

We took a vacation at the end of the summer to visit family in Portland, Oregon. Really love it out there. The mindset and attitudes towards living greenly, collaboratively, cooperatively and honestly are purposed and clear. The physical infrastructure of the city promotes walking, running, and biking. Participation in the recycling programs is easy. The organic, locally grown or produced foods are affordable. The norm is to behave in a green manner. I could go on and on. Ahhhhhh!

So the kids had a great time and we tried to be mindful of not spending too much, not wasting too much and staying within our budgets. On vacation that is hard to do. We are out of our routine. We sometimes have to grab what we need in the moment rather than shopping around. And most activities come with the temptation to purchase. So we really used our three questions: "a need or a want", pay "cash", and "is it something we planned for".
So proud of them! They split sodas (they can never finish a whole one anyway), they remembered to reduce, reuse, and recycle. They didn’t ask for toys at the amusement park or souvenirs at the gifts stores or stuff in the expensive airport store just because we had a 2 hour layover and they were bored. We visited places that were free. We ate dinner before going to the ball park. We did not come home with stuff that we did not need. Basically, before each activity we talked about what was expected so that when it all came into view, the impulse or distraction was not as great.

Our one splurge (although not really a splurge) was going to the Nike outlet store for back-to-school shopping. We talked about it before going in. We decided that each kid could spend between $25 and $30 dollars or get three things, whichever is less expensive. It was fun for them. They looked at price tags, added their items to check totals, and tried things on to make sure they really liked them. They were so excited and proud.

So, when going on vacation, remember to budget for the expenses while you are there (not just the cost of the trip). Teach your kids that a vacation does not mean a vacation from the habits that we practice at home. Take the habits with you and use them. You will spend less and help your children learn to transition and acclimate easier when traveling, vacationing, or even moving.

13 not so secret, secrets

2008-08-07T14:30:00.001-07:00

Had someone comment on our last entry ("...I have a feeling that it's easier said than done. Do you have any secrets?"). They liked it, agreed and wanted the secrets. Well, as I start to write this, I can't come up with amazing words of wisdom, aka, secrets. There are none. In fact, there cannot be nor should there be any secrets, just simple, straight forward ideas, processes, suggestions and things to follow. Ones we can all do and support each other with.

Frankly, I think this stuff should be in school as part of the curriculum. It's real world, real stuff. We all need it and if it started when we were learning how to read, relate to our peers, add, subtract, etc. it might become instinctual. We need to support, cooperate and collaborate with each other in our family, school, community, economy, society, etc. So, the best I can do is a top thirteen:

Parental or Partner agreement - you gotta be on the same page
Explanation of trade offs and how one can't have it all, whenever one wants it
"NO" is your friend. It is ok to say "no, you cannot have that."
24 hour rap....Teach them to sleep on it; really think about things they need and what it costs them
Practice what you preach; create fun moments and memories through non-material experiences
Stick to it even if you stumble. Follow through is soooooo important and probably the hardest part
Let them make mistakes. Resilience is a life long skill.
Always practice the saying, "is it a need or a want"
Remember that they are watching you
Turn off the tv and other messaging to Buy, Buy, Buy
Before shopping, make a list and a budget for each item
Reuse it, trade it, or barter for it
Go to thrift shops, trinket places, yard sales. Make it an activity, a treasure hunt with a budget. Real life and fun.

The mastery of money and the understanding that they control what they do with it, will have them grow up feeling "rich" with confidence... and some cash in their pocketz.

Small Steps for Learning to Save

2008-07-17T10:26:00.000-07:00

On to savings, which is where we technically should start. You know the mantra "Pay yourself, first.” However, in order to get kids attention and make the feel vested, we have to speak their language sprinkled with our words of wisdom. That is why we started with a real life process/lesson of budgeting for clothes, buying and incenting them to not spend it all. With some money left over from buying their budgeted clothes, we let our kids save that money (and they have to give 10% away of their savings per year; more on that later). Here’s what we do.

We give them a general concept of savings and break down savings into two parts: a "Wish List" and a "Stash". Let's start with the Wish List for this post. Wish List is a list of things they want and are saving to buy. For example, our 10 year old wants to buy new sneakers for basketball camp this summer (btw, he is also paying a portion of his camp by stacking firewood) and a baseball bat. At first he wanted to take all his money from his savings and just buy them. This is where "no", patience, and continual explanation is really important. It is also best to start this process with a smaller, easier to reach savings goal.

Let's take the sneakers. We found the ones he likes online and have figured out how many weeks there are until camp, and thus how much he needs to save per week. He is very excited! Since he did not spend all his money on clothes, he has an opportunity to buy the sneakers. He can take some of his money from his Wish List savings and the rest he is earning by doing things for us and others. This is in addition to his regular contributions to the family (we do not call them chores and we do not give allowance; more on that in another post).

Basketball sneakers = $50.00
Amount he can take from Wish List savings = $20 (we just picked this number)
Amount to save $50 - $20 = $30
Weeks remaining until camp = 8
Amount to save per week $30 / 8 = about $4 per week (very doable for a 10 year old)

We find it is best to find a relative, neighbor or local retail establishment that has a project that could realistically be done and approach them with a proposal. Our kids then write a one page letter/flyer proposal to do the project. They learn so much from this! And it gets them ready for that inevitable resume concept. They are all building blocks for real life. Stacking our cord of firewood is measurable, finite, and has a bit of forgiveness built in. He gets paid once a week and takes the money down to our bank (which is walking distance).

We have done this with our 12 year old and her first sleep-away camp. She collected cans in the neighborhood and did small odd jobs for people, like polishing silver, dog sitting, etc. Our 9 year old is saving towards an American Girl doll by dog walking and helped with paying for her basketball camp by working at the library, all with the same basic process.

They are so proud of their accomplishments. Give it a try and let us know how it goes.

Practice What You Preach - Part 2

2008-07-10T19:52:00.000-07:00

So, how did I handle it?

I phone the mom of the friend to explain and she is very supportive and understands what we are trying to do. I explain that to our daughter and she feels a bit better and has slept on it for another day, also realizing that the clothes will not fit her in 2 months or so and she really has more meaningful things for which she would like to save. She realizes that her "want" for the clothes came from the suggestion of the flyer that the clothes would be fun and make her popular. "Mom, that's not real.", she tells me, "So, I want to keep saving. My friend and I can do something else, special and fun. But I am still bored with my clothes!". "Me, too," I say. Me too and I'll search for a way to practice what I preach, and sleep on it.

Practice What You Preach

2008-07-03T19:48:00.000-07:00

I was really pushed to the test this week by our 9.5 year old. She spent a night at a friend's house and while there, they were leafing through a flyer from The Limited Two. They saw some clothes and a coupon for 20% off. She brought the coupon home and had decided that she was going to the mall the next day to buy some clothes. So, the question comes to me, "Mom, can you take my friend and me to the mall to buy some clothes? We have this coupon for 20% off." It takes me a moment to think of how to answer this. I know it's a teaching moment and sometimes this requires thought, time, and patience, as well as the right frame of mind. Deep breath. "20% of nothing equals what", I ask. Huh? she says. "20% of nothing is.....?" Well, nothing, she says. AAAHHH, I say. She then informs me that she has some money in her savings account that she could use. Mind you, this is money that she has been saving by doing dog walking work for neighbors. She has been saving since April for a very special American Girl doll she wants.

I would really like her to think through this decision, to not be impulsive (her natural way) and woo'd by the clever marketing and advertising of the flyer. I first ask her if she needs these clothes or wants them. She says that she doesn't need them, just wants them 'cause she is bored with her clothes. That's good, I think. She gets the concept of need verses want. So, I go further. I remember an article where the author identifies three simple tips. I try one of them which suggests an old adage, sleep on it, and in this case, I say, for two nights. Well, we almost get there, until her friend calls. So, around we go again. She wants to go to the mall. She wants the clothes she knows she doesn't need and she wants to take money from her savings. What would you do in this case?

Experiencing The Bank

2008-06-25T18:52:00.000-07:00

Diverging a bit. So, we all (7 kids and mom) go to the bank to deposit various, and I mean a wide range, of amounts of money saved over the last few weeks. Our bank is great and the personnel are very patient. The deposit slips are easy to fill out, there is a coin machine for totaling all those pennies, the classic lollipop and a kid friendly program where they place a stamp on a card for each deposit (regardless of amount). And once their card is full, they get a gift certificate to a local toy store. Real life for them, real people, real adding, real money, real "pleases" and real "thank yous".
Well, it just so happens that the postal counter clerk was at the bank and she watches it all. After the bank, we go to the post office, to mail Olivia's camp forms and final payment (which she earned mostly from collecting cans from the neighborhood and baby sitting). She sees the kids and asks them how they did at the bank. They smile and yell "Great!", "Good!", "I got a lollipop!", "We saw you there!", "It's fun!". It wasn't about how much they deposited, it was about their experience there. She complimented them, they shared their own deposit purpose or reason: my birthday check, my can collecting money, my dog walking money, we cleaned 2 cars. So proud! These are memories, skills and accomplishments that they will use through out their life.

Here is our bank: First National Bank of Ipswich

and we think this bank is really cool, too: Umpqua

Beyond the Piggy Bank

2008-06-19T20:10:00.000-07:00

Before we share with you ideas about saving, how to save, why save, and so on, we think that having a place to save should come first. Our goal is always to be as real life and practical as we can (and feel free to call us on it, too). You wouldn't pour a glass of milk without a cup to hold it, or buy a sofa without a living room in which to put it, or buy seeds to grow without soil in which to plant them.

Here is our take on it. It should be real life and not just a piggy bank on a shelf, desk or bureau. Having kids experience a new concept with a direct connection to real life is invaluable. Find a good bank and help them open an account. It is our experience that a local bank, as local as you can get, is the best for this. We chose a bank that is within walking distance, has been around for 115 years, and has a program for kids. There are others and it is really worth the Internet crawl or an old fashioned sidewalk window shop.

Connecting kids to real life experiences for life long skills is priceless (sorry, had to). It is something that does not have an end, it continues, it makes sense to them; and they are so proud of their own ability to participate is their growth, learning and community.

Shopping wisely, incenting to save and learning life skills

2008-06-12T16:21:00.000-07:00

Continuing from the last blog post... We provided an incentive to our daughter that whatever money she did not spend on her clothes, from her clothes budget, she could keep and put into her savings (more on that in another post). We then guided her to first "window" shop on-line for the clothes she identified that she needed in her clothes budget sheet. She was surprised to see that some of her estimates were way off and happy that some were right on. She adjusted them accordingly. She decided that some of the things she would go to a store to buy and some she would buy on-line. We approved the sites and the clothing she wanted to buy. She purchased her clothes, herself, and now has a better understanding of how much things cost, how to shop and how she can save money for things she may want in the future.

She was very proud of herself, and in fact, shared this idea with some of her friends who are now doing it. The other major behavioral change that we had not anticipated was that she sought hand-me-downs from friends as a way to "fill" her clothing needs. She was so excited to receive the clothes, save the money and also contribute to a greater cause of re-use to help the earth. We could clearly see her new sense of empowerment. It was rewarding for all of us!

Here is an interesting, useful, cool and free new web site for shopping that will monitor sales for you based on criteria you select like brand, size, clothing type, and then sends you and email. Check it out.
http://www.shopittome.com/

Thotz?

On to the Practical

2008-06-05T17:20:00.000-07:00

Enough of all this talk. Time to start sharing some things we have tried. Real-life situations with real success and failures (or consequences). There are many opportunities to teach kids every day if parents look at things a bit differently. Currently (for the most part) kids tell their parents what they want or go shop with them. Let's try a different approach. This could be done by the kids beginning with guidance and your approval, of course.

At age ten kids start to become more aware of and care more about their clothes. We sat and talked to our daughter about the concept of budgeting for her clothes (actually have been using this language for a while, now). We broke down her clothing needs by season (summer, fall, winter, and spring) and started with $200 as a budget for her to work with. We looked at what she currently had from the last season. What fits, what doesn't (those that get handed down), and what needs to be "recycled".

Based on that, she came up with her needs. Notice the word "needs" not what she thought was cool, had seen in the mall, or in an advertisement. Just what she needed..... 2 pants, 4 shirts, and so on. Here is the worksheet that she came up with. When beginning, keep it simple. Try it out!

Example:
Total Budget: $200

Needs.......................Budget

4 shirts............................$40
2 pants............................$40
1 pair of shoes.................$50
2 hoodies.........................$30

Total................................$160

In the next post we will take you to the next step... an incentive to save and find sales, then it's time to shop. Remember it is real life.

PS: If you have an expense worksheet or widget, let us know and share with us.

And.......

2008-06-04T06:40:00.000-07:00

UUUUGGGGGHHHHH.........need we say more.........

have a look

All your stuff....now where to keep it

2008-05-29T19:53:00.000-07:00

Did you know that the storage industry generates more revenue than Hollywood, the very place that tells us we need all this stuff to be popular, beautiful, healthy, or happy. Stuff... Why buy more stuff only to put it in an attic, basement or worse yet, a facility some miles away that we drive to. There are many theories on this: boredom, the stuff will make me look better, a band-aid for loneliness, fill an emotional void. Stuff and then more stuff to organize all the stuff you have and a consultant to help you organize it. And how about the time and resources it takes to buy the stuff, the "work" one must undertake to support the purchasing of all this stuff, and the debt that people put themsleves into to support this habit, this addiction, this vicious cycle.

The squirrel that comes to mind gathering nuts, nuts, and more nuts and most he does not even know where he buries. The energy that all this stuff takes to consume undermines our physical health, our sanity, our family life, our communities, and our environment. AND THE KIDS ARE WATCHING US, learning from us, copying us. Let's not pass this craziness down to them. How can we stop the cycle. Check out this link and let us know ways that you and your family are "just saying no" to stuff.

Conscious Consuming

Stuff, stuff and more stuff...

2008-05-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

Came across these questions while reading the comments, specifically # 8 from owlfarmer, to yet another, thought provoking article from Orion Magazine. The title of the article is "Fear of Not Having Had" by Elizabeth Farrelly. Here they are. Can you answer them? Are they realistic? Empowering? They are worth asking even if you don't agree with the question's necessity. They get you thinking and stay with you throughout the day. They might come to mind in the grocery store as you ponder the gadget displayed in the produce section or find yourself reaching for the "whatever" at checkout.

Do I truly need this item?
Will it enhance my life in any meaningful way?
How long will it last?
Where will I keep it?
What will become of it when it’s no longer useful?
Does its manufacture involve the exploitation of other human beings, or the degradation of the environment?
Who benefits from my purchasing this item?
Who suffers?

Try them on and tell us what happened in your day. Oh, and one more thing: "Not-having can be stressful, but having can be more stressful still." - Elizabeth Farrelly

Is it a Need or a Want?

2008-05-18T19:30:00.000-07:00

There is a recent article, "The Gospel of Consumption" from Orion Magazine, that presents a possible explanation to why we think we "need" so much. It describes our culture as one that has been motivated to consume due to a "stagnating" economy, dating back to the 1920s. "America’s business and political elite" realized that it was necessary to radically move us from a mindset of needs to one of wants. It is "what one industrial consultant called 'the gospel of consumption' -the notion that people could be convinced that however much they have, it isn’t enough."

So we have all this stuff and want more and spend our time trying to find ways to get more. We work harder, borrow more, find sales, get to the store at 8, hope the store stays open late enough. And all because we need it (or think we do) or want it. Also consider what we are giving up in order to have this house full of stuff... time with our loved ones, time with our neighbors, time with ourselves. Ten years from now is the fond happy memory going to be the stuff we bought then, or the warm feeling of the hug from your son when he mastered riding his bike or the cheer and high fives when your daughter crossed home plate... or the pile of leaves that you all had time to jump in... or? or? or?

Ok. Yes, we all have these dreams, these wants. Yet a "want" should never trump a "need". From our 12 year old we hear, "I want a cell phone". And yet there is something wrong with a kid with a cell phone whose parents are deep in credit card debt or have no college fund. Ultimately, no one is forcing us to buy stuff. These are choices we can make. Here is an invaluable question to keep in your mind... to have at the ready when in the store, on the computer, or faced with the decision to buy: do I "need" it (the cell phone, the hoodie, the video game) or do I "want" it.

Thotz?

You on Your Terms

2008-05-14T18:21:00.000-07:00

"Money will command your attention. Allow it a proper place in your life, but deny it a throne. Money means many things, but nothing so much as a yardstick by which your measure will be taken. The need of it, the love of it will be used by others to define who you are and who you are not. Even you may use it to determine how you should perceive yourself. Be careful: Money is also known to be a relentless slave master. If I learned anything from this balancing act it is the importance of defining your worth in your own terms."

- Sidney Poitier, Life Beyond Measure: Letters to My Great-Granddaughter (HarperOne)

Where does teaching financial responsibility begin?

2008-05-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

In adolescence , kids are trying to figure out who they are and how they belong. Do they run with the jock crowd? Do they hang with the geek crowd or the music crowd? Using material possessions as a way to identify how you belong cannot be sustained into and throughout adulthood. Realizing that people will be drawn to them not by material possessions but by their confidence and self-esteem will provide a better foundation for making healthy choices. And knowing that their own "value" is based on their moral code, hobbies, interests, and finally, happiness, will benefit them for a lifetime.

Wait a second here...

2008-04-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

Maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves here. Maybe the goal isn't to make financial responsibility cool. Maybe that is simply a by-product of something else. What is that something else?

"With mastery comes not only self-esteem but also confidence, leadership skills, initiative and an enduring desire to work hard. You find that you work hard not because you feel you should but because you want to, in order to experience that unbeatable feeling of mastery once again." Edward M. Hallowell, The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness

ThotZ?

The Cool Factor

2008-04-17T18:39:00.000-07:00

Where do we start? What is a good entry point where the understanding of money (and all its responsibility) is "cool" to a kid? We parents know (and are reminded often enough with a kid's brutal honesty) that we are NOT "cool" and should not try to teach our kids what is cool. Their peers define coolness. We, the 'rents, can make connections for our kids to their social life. Children weigh so many of their decisions and interests against social acceptance. How are they percieved by their peers if they don't have the right sneakers, the right "hoodie", or cell phone? Kids want to belong. And we do, too, as adults. It's on our genes. "Humans thrive on group connections. Most people (including kids) need each other and that is why we form families, social groups, cultures and nations. We have evolved to function not alone but together." (Ties That Bind, Laurence Gonzales, National Geographic Adventure). Our inherent need to belong increases our chance of survival. Without getting too far off track, the connection here is that we all have a very strong pull to belong. That pull is from within and, for kids, being cool means acceptance.

So, how do we make financial responsibility (not just money and what it buys) cool?

ThotZ???

Why it is important for kids to know about money

2008-04-06T17:00:00.000-07:00

It starts somewhere and the earlier the better. True, a young child should never have to worry about how to pay to feed themselves. Yet understanding that nothing is free helps shape their character. It also builds respect for those who raise and care for them. And they will be adults some day J ~at least according to Uncle Sam~ We don't wait until they are 18 years old to teach them how to brush their teeth or eat nutritious food. Why don't we treat the lessons of financial responsibility the same way. Being faced suddenly at the age of 18 or 21 with the concepts of budgeting and debt is difficult and confusing. And remember, fear of anything is paralyzing. Knowledge and education is empowerment.

"I think education is power. I think that being able to communicate with people is power. One of my main goals on the planet is to encourage people to empower themselves." -Oprah Winfrey

"communicate" your ThotZ...