Lunch Time Musings

teaser

2009-08-25T14:03:00.001-07:00

Yes, I'm still changing my blog, and yes, I'm still working on sending out the notes, postcards, letters :) Hey, alot has happened ;-).

Pictures:

My poor husband is a little tired of picture-taking.

But cake brightens him up :)

update

2009-07-23T06:35:00.000-07:00

I'm slowly but surely getting the cards out to you in the mail. In nine days, I move. Praise God that Matthew and I found a place to live. Things have been busy and not always in a good way. Sunday, my father came into town and we unloaded some furniture he brought us into Matt's house. My parents are headed to Mexico to live and we're taking some things off their hands to help. Monday, we got word that our rental application was received. Tuesday, my sister came back from Mexico (hurray!) and was so thankful that she collapsed in my arms in the airport with the exclamation "I'm home finally!" and we both cried a little. It was getting pretty tough for her at the end of her stay. Matt and I got word that our credit was approved and we could come Wednesday and put a deposit down. I dropped Anne off at her home and then went to hang out with dad one more night. He was supposed to leave Wednesday also.

But Wednesday wasn't anything we anticipated. While Matt was hanging out with me and dad Tuesday, burglars ransacked his home and stole a bunch of stuff. It makes you mad and angry because its so wrong and yet you can't do a thing about it. Someone just completely messes with your life and they get away with it. For Matt, I think losing his helmet cam and camcorder were tough. Especially his helmet cam, which costs quite a bit. During that special time in his life when he rode around Israel and Germany the helmet cam was there to capture it. For me, I think I'm most upset that they got his wedding ring. While it's not that expensive and can be easily replaced, I'm still sentimental. We picked out the ring together and couldn't wait to put it on his finger permanently...now its gone.

The lockbox of very important papers my father had dropped off days before, was dumped and strew everywhere. We originally thought they got alot more important documentation than they did. Apparently, they were just looking for cash and easy stuff to carry. The hard part about a ransack and not just a burglary is that it takes awhile to realize what's missing because of all the clean up.

They grabbed a bike on the way out the front door. Thankfully, they grabbed my cheapo walmart bike worth $60 and left behind the bikes worth thousands. Apparently, they aren't very bike savvy. But they took the shotgun. So if you see a shotgun tooting bike rider, hit him for me.

Still, with all of this, I'm preparing for a garage sale this weekend, a move next weekend to our new place (wahoo!), and three weeks from now(!), a wedding which really wouldn't be that big of a deal except for what it signifies: a marriage. If I can hang on, all this will be behind me and in front of me will only be the most incredible life I could imagine, a life lived with Matthew by my side.

don't forget!

2009-07-11T09:17:00.001-07:00

Don't forget about the upcoming blog change...if you haven't added your name or messaged me your address, please do so (but only if you want). Click below for more detail.
http://lunchtimemusings.blogspot.com/2009/06/changes.html

2009-07-09T13:56:00.001-07:00

To do list (in no particular order):

Compile wedding day schedule
Complete photograph schedule (so we don't end taking pictures for 30 minutes!)
Make and print programs
Sew tableclothes
Get candles for votives
Call Sam's club about flowers
Visit the rental warehouse to confirm table/chairs and give deposit
Find green ties
Get ahold of the sound system guy
Find wedding babysitters
Decide on shoes
Pack household
Find a place to live
Answer/give into mother about cake knives (I suppose we'll use them)
Get marriage license
print maps and phone number list to pass out at rehearsal dinner
Decide on rehearsal dinner place (and call them)
Send rehearsal invites
Try to scrounge up a bunch of Christmas lights and a labor party to put them in the trees
Get reception music list to dj
Get music to pianist
Confirm food with caterer
Check with hotel to see if ANYONE reserved a room (humm...I guess people like getting their own hotel? weird, it wasn't that way with most other weddings I've been to...)
Gather postcards for guestbook
Confirm ice-cream cart
Kiss my fiance

I'm sorry friends. Blogging didn't make the list. :)

struggle

2009-07-07T07:39:00.000-07:00

In working to get my new blog ready for its debut, I've encountered mixed feelings. I want to share the events of my life with friends and family in a fast and easy way while still protecting my identity and personal information from the masses at large. A less conspicuous and less publicized blog with no attachment to my full name accomplishes this purpose.

But I want more. I want to share my ideas, to challenge others in their thinking, and to affect the motion of my culture and my country. Less visibility is not conducive to this purpose. Is the sacrifice of privacy necessary for the growth of influence?

The struggle has revealed a scary thing to me: free speech isn't actually free anymore. Privacy is a tempting way to protect myself from the ramifications of what I write. The ramifications are no longer the displeasure of others or even the challenge of having your thoughts stretched by another perspective. People get fired for what they write on their blogs. People don't get hired because human resource offices disagree with their personal opinions. Students receive low grades because they disagree with their professor. Our culture seems to have lost the ability to work and live beside those with whom they disagree. Miss California is a recent and prominent example. A large number of people who disagreed with her beliefs on marriage were unable to engage with her in business practices not related in any sense to marriage. Nor were they able to engage her in civil discourse.

Civil, adj., not deficient in common courtesy (synonyms: respectful, gracious, affable, urbane, courtly)

Discourse, n., communication of thought by words; talk; conversation.

By replacing civility with tolerance, we have lost a fundamental component of free speech. Civility enables disagreement while tolerance limits it. Civility enables cooperation while tolerance fosters coercion.

Is it cowardly not to accept the consequences of my belief? Or is it wise to realize the consequences thrust upon me are inappropriately done so by a world obsessed with self and sameness? The privacy dance is a hard one to master.

changes

2009-06-30T11:43:00.000-07:00

With the many changes taking place in my life, I've decided to add another: I will be shutting down this blog and replacing it. The new blog will not be associated with my full name and since that name will be obsolete anyway, this seems the appropriate time to make a change. To make the transition fun, I'm holding a contest of sorts. If you'd like the name of my new blog, ask and I will disseminate that information to you by real old fashion mail. In other words, to enter, just ask, and you'll win real mail! :) I've recorded many moments here and while that thought might make Matthew shutter a little (he's much more private than I am) it makes me a little nostalgic to think of all that I have shared with you, my reader friends. And it stills me in wonder to think of all the unimaginable moments left to be lived and shared.

many gains

2009-06-25T12:45:00.000-07:00

On August 15, I will gain many things. First, an incredible husband who is more than I could ever ask for in character, humor, and good-looks (wink, wink ;) Second, I will gain an amazing new extended family. I will gain an extremely cool set of in-laws, a sister and brother-in-law and their daughter, Alex: (I get a niece!) who may just be the cutest, most interesting little person I know. A couple of days (weeks?) ago, I highlighted a blog by my friend David in New Zealand. Today, I am highlighting a blog by Matthew's sister (my pending sister-in-law) Amy. There, she writes about her everyday life, family, friends, opinions, and general thoughts complete with pictures which exude cuteness: everything a good blog should be. :)

simplicity

2009-06-22T09:06:00.000-07:00

If I could simply get married, that would be wonderful. But the beginning of marriage doesn't exist in a vacuum anymore than the relationship. It comes attached to big question marks named: finances, housing, birth control, geography, employment, future planning: family, retirement...etc. When you're single, any threat is one dimensional. I learned to have every confidence that God would take care of me, that I would be okay, and readily jump into risks knowing I had only myself to lose. This confidence doesn't easily translate when yourself is multiplied. Threats are now multi-dimensional, risks are doubled, and I can't possibly know if the other personhood and will that I'm becoming one with, is going to be okay inside. Worry becomes more tempting and coping becomes more confusing.

I yearn for simplicity. I want to pare down the unnecessary things, focus on the priorities and leave everything else behind. And, this should come as no surprise, I want to go backpacking. Nothing is so rift with simplicity than strapping everything I need to survive onto my back and heading into the woods. I feel the restlessness of not encountering that simplicity in over a year. It's hard inside. I cringe every time I hear a radio commercial for new cars or see flyers for electronics stores or even look into my own closet. So many things and I don't want the burden of them. So many question marks and, far from wanting the answer, I don't even want the questions. There's too many of them; half are unnecessary. I'm fighting through the juggle of it all to start something lasting and meaningful and hard and beautiful and worth fighting for. Decisions and responsibilities must be addressed, but in doing so, I don't want life or marriage or following after Christ to get choked out by the weeds of the world.

I'm gasping for breath.

I wonder

2009-06-16T14:26:00.000-07:00

I John 5:19 "We know that we are of God, and that the whole world lies in the power of the evil one."

Sometimes, I wonder if we really know that we are of God. Do we act like we're of God? Do we think like we're of God?

Sometimes, I wonder if we really know that the world lies in the power of the evil one. Do we act like the whole world lies in this power? Do we respond as if the whole world lies in this power? We have the hope they need to be free but sometimes I find myself enamored with their captor.

Interesting article

2009-06-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

http://www.jpost.com/servlet/Satellite?apage=2&cid=1244035008682&pagename=JPost%2FJPArticle%2FShowFull

My second career

2009-06-12T13:34:00.000-07:00

Wednesday evening, the storms began their assault. Tracking the radar online and the meterologists on television it became apparent that the really cool stuff was going to miss me. Living roughly two miles from downtown, suddenly wished I lived in Plano or Colleyville or Lewistown. I hadn't even lost power like my fiance or best friend. Oh well. I went to bed, woke up the next morning and went to work right as the second system rolled in. I sat there in my windowless office, occasionally taking a break to watch the awesomeness outside a window here and there, wishing I was outside instead of inside. I remember being a little girl and wrapping my small limbs around the highest branch, swaying with the wind, watching the storm clouds roll in. I loved it.

Why did no one tell me growing up, that there was such a profession as meterology? Or that I could enter it? What other profession allows you to go be in the middle of the storm in all its awesomeness? Why am I not the female version of Jim Cantore? And more importantly, is it too late? The nearest meterology school is at A&M, several hours away and I have no highschool or college chemistry or physics courses. But before the dream dies barely off the ground, MIT makes an appearance to breath a little life into it. They have open coureware in meterology. :) And if nothing else, I can read about velocity while watching Jim do professional what I've been doing since I was eight: feeling the storm. :-]

It would happen to me

2009-06-11T06:42:00.000-07:00

All this week I've been waiting with excited anticipation for the arrival of our wedding invitations. They were shipped via UPS and were due to arrive yesterday or today. Last night, when the crazy storms hit, I turned on the news to see this. You can imagine the knot welling up in my stomach and the thought of course, this would be something to happen to me: my wedding invitations scattered all over hwy 121. The first thing I did this morning was race to find the tracking number. UPS website blissfully told me they had already been delivered yesterday at 2:30 p.m. hours before the truck turned over. I quickly called Matthew. He confirmed. He made sure they weren't drenched and allayed all my fears. It's nice, every once in a while, not to have a typical Steffens' ending to a story :-].

Lemon Custard Cups

2009-06-10T10:04:00.000-07:00

Here you are Hilary. :)

I found this recipe in my Everyday Food cookbook published by Martha Stewart. I admit that my mom helped me, in as much as pointing out the proper distinction between foamy, soft peaks, and hard peaks in respect to beated egg whites. Even though it says one lemon, I had to use two to get enough zest and juice for the recipe.

Ingredients Serves 6.

Unsalted butter, room temperature, for custard cups

3 large eggs, separated

1/2 cup granulated sugar

2 tablespoons all-purpose flour

2 to 3 teaspoons grated lemon zest, (1 lemon)

1/4 cup fresh lemon juice

1 cup milk

1/4 teaspoon salt

Confectioners' sugar, for dusting

Directions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Set a kettle of water to boil. Butter six 6-ounce custard cups and place in a dish towel-lined baking dish or roasting pan.
In a large bowl, whisk egg yolks and sugar until light; whisk in flour. Gradually whisk in lemon juice, then milk and zest.
With an electric mixer, beat egg whites and salt until soft peaks form. Add to lemon batter and fold in gently with a whisk (batter will be quite liquid).
Divide batter among prepared custard cups; place baking dish in oven and fill with boiling water to reach halfway up sides of cups.
Bake until puffed and lightly browned (but pudding is still visible in bottom), 20 to 25 minutes.
Serve slightly warm or at room temperature, dusted with confectioners’ sugar.

compound interest

2009-06-09T12:06:00.000-07:00

Matthew and I are learning about compound interest in our financial peace class. It reminds me of this quote from C.S. Lewis:

Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make every day are of such infinite importance. The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of.

wedding peek

2009-06-04T13:41:00.001-07:00

For those of you interested in my wedding - here's some inspirational photos :).

I would like similiar colored flowers and bridesmaid dresses but not strapless.

In place of a guestbook, I hoping to gather up all my old blank postcards and have guests write messages on the back of them. I haven't discussed this idea with Matthew yet, so its subject to change :).

The wedding and reception will be outside in the evening hours.

Minus the wine, I'm hoping for simple tables with linen table clothes or some distinct fabric (Walmart, $1 a yard?) and simple vases with flowers. :) Real versus plastic plates are still up the air depending on how tight we are or what I can find on ebay.

That being said, its also important to remember that most of the preparation is focused on the marriage and not the wedding (because one will last ALOT longer than the other ;-)

Highlight-a-blog-day

2009-06-04T06:43:00.000-07:00

I am immersed in wedding plans and busy office life as I cover two departments for the summer. My blog suffers for lack of creativity. I have decided that an appropriate response to this situation is to refer my readers to other blogs. Interesting places of creativity can supplement the small doses I now offer. Highlight-a-blog-day is thus born.

I met Dave on a mission trip we took during our college days. Since then, he has married and moved to New Zealand. Though I have never met his wife, she is wonderful, and we often write letters to each other. (So fun, receiving letters from New Zealand!) Dave has many interesting thoughts on farming and energy, organic foods and living with the land. His job falls along these lines but so does his life (by choice) as he writes about exploration, interesting foods, and old-time stories from New Zealand sheep farmers. So check out his blog and enjoy some good reading until I have time to update again. http://wahlet.wordpress.com/

But please, once you discover all the interesting things he has to say...don't forget about me :).

Life, richer

2009-06-01T09:28:00.000-07:00

Having never been married, its safe to say I know very little about marriage.

Friday evening, Matthew and I met for our introductory session of marriage counseling. Saturday evening, we sat down and went over next month's budget and ordered wedding invitations. Sunday, we signed up for the financial peace seminar. Matthew had already bought the financial peace planner and taken me through the first two chapters. As Sunday afternoon will be our marriage counseling sessions, we did a mock run on our bikes to the Pastor's house yesterday. I think it takes about 8 miles one-way which equals an hour of time. If we ride bike to our counseling sessions, we'll kill two birds with one stone. It was very hot yesterday and my body isn't used to that sort of excursion, so I felt pretty brutal afterwards. Matthew sweetly made me supper and then we spent some time reading the Word according to the one year Bible schedule. Oh, and that afternoon we read together some parts of a marriage book.

I hate to use the word "better" because singleness was certainly a gift from God that I enjoyed (and hopefully lived fully to His glory) and now things are certainly different...but I think it's more than just different, I think life with Matthew is actually better. I wasn't looking for a better life, I know that marriage isn't about having a better life, I even know that it won't always be easy, but somehow here in front of me is this awesome gift, both Matthew and the life I have with Matthew. He helps me get outside, he helps me challenge my body, he helps me reign over my finances (instead of vise versa), he helps me eat healthier, he helps me read the word more, he helps me seek counsel and fellowship. It isn't that I never did those things before, but now I have someone who helps me do them better- and even though this requires more work, hard work, the result is a richer life, by far, than what I had before. :) So here's a little happy dance!

Bear with me

2009-05-21T09:14:00.000-07:00

Please patiently bear with my current focus on wedding related topics. :)

I have been to an enormous number of weddings. I lost track after 50. The last time I calculated, it averaged to 8 weddings a year. I've tied more pew bows, made more cucumber sandwiches, folded more programs, tied more packets of birdseed, banged out Canon in D, and attended more rehearsal dinners than you can imagine. Though I enjoyed every single wedding (chalk it up to huge internal romantic sentimentality) I remember thinking, when it's my turn, I will finally do it my way.

It's a myth. When you get married, you can't finally have everything your way. You are constrained by budget, by location, by family, even by the weather. :) It's best to realize as soon as possible that what you've always thought about your wedding is a myth and then happily embrace whatever comes along.

This embracing is particularly difficult to do in the Dallas area. I know of very few cities which have their very own wedding magazine. After glancing through "D Weddings" and spending multiple hours on the phone and web (realistically, at least 100 hours!) you can quickly realize that Dallas is a mecca of bridezilla's and plenty of overpriced, absurdly lavish companies cash in on their self-centeredness. It's both frustrating and tantalizing. More easily than I'd like to admit, I can move from "I can't afford that!!" "$3000 for a podunk B&B in the middle of nowhere?!", "You're really THAT concerned about the lawn of your church?" to "Perhaps my wedding reception could really look like that! Perhaps it should! Perhaps I need it to!!" All lies.

I John 2:16 "For everything in the world—the cravings of sinful man, the lust of his eyes and the boasting of what he has and does—comes not from the Father but from the world."

Colossians 2:8 "See to it that no one takes you captive through philosophy and empty deception, according to the tradition of men, according to the elementary principles of the world, rather than according to Christ."

If I don't post for a while, it's because I'm too busy repenting :) and working towards a small, humble wedding in the midst of a very materialistic world.

Posting

2009-05-14T08:09:00.001-07:00

Reasons I haven't posted:

1. I got engaged and have only 3 months to plan the wedding. Eeekk!
2. Lightening hit our house and we've been without internet for two weeks now (Boo AT&T!!)
3. I'm now covering two offices at work and am incredibly swamped.

But don't worry, I have posts percolating that should be ready soon. :)

To end with, I'd like to take a poll. How many of you think Brisket at a wedding reception is a fabulous idea? This inquiring mind wants to know!

In case you haven't heard...

2009-04-27T06:43:00.000-07:00

The most wonderful man in the world, wants to spend the rest of his life with me :).

HURRAY!!!!!!!!

2009-04-23T06:46:00.001-07:00

Love is a many-splendored thing,
It's the April rose that only grows in the early spring,
Love is ~~nature's~~ God's way of giving a reason to be living,
The golden crown that makes a man a king.
Once on a high and windy hill,
In the morning mist two lovers kissed and the world stood still,
Then your fingers touched my silent heart and taught it how to sing,
Yes, true love's a many-splendored thing.

~Frank Sinatra~

2009-04-18T17:18:00.000-07:00

I continue to be tired and beyond that, weak. I've had a lot of illness in my life: scarlet fever, bronchitis, pneumonia, carbon monoxide, and a litany of viruses and bacterial infection including food poisoning, blood poisoning, and staff which sent red streaks up my leg. Comparisons abound with what I'm feeling now and what I've felt before. Something is not right, I can tell, my legs get weak after walking around for an hour and my arms feel like led after holding a book for 30 minutes. The lab work rules out mono so they want to run more tests (whine). Meanwhile, I continue to sleep about 12 hours a day.

My friend Becca posted a 'recipe' for a five minute coffee mug chocolate cake. I just tried it out (perhaps the sugar overload will help? ;-) and it tastes pretty good with the glaze I whipped up. Check it out if you have an instant gratification sweet tooth :).

The latest issue of national geographic adventure keeps me sufficiently awake and distracted with suggestions like biking from mexico to canada. Sounds pretty good to me! Plus, I think Matthew will approve :) All we need is two free months, a couple more thousand dollars than we currently possess and (this seems especially appropriate for me) bodies a little more trained for such adventure. Click on the picture to learn more, especially if you want to join us - and yes, that is an implied assumption that we will do it :)

hello and goodbye

2009-04-13T17:10:00.001-07:00

I'm pretty tired so the creativity is lacking. I have a good time in Indiana meeting Matthew's family. I better understand the nature of Matthew's strong work ethic and helpfulness, his preference for quiet and his stubborn streak which likes to go against the grain. They put up with me and my antics admirably and, naturally, a harrowing canoe adventure is waiting to be told. :-]

Today was Jill's last day at work. I eat lunch with her almost every day. Work will be empty and sad without her. She is my friend and it's so nice to be able to work with friends - it's been a gift. :-] I'm glad she still lives in the area though it's not quite as convenient as being one floor above me. So I'm ending this post with a shout-out to her. You will be missed, Jill.

I want to be like this one day

2009-03-26T08:03:00.000-07:00

Igglis put the caption on this photo as "honeymooners"

And yes, Dr. Graff is wearing a tie of gerber daisies...that's why we love him. :-]

No Fluff Friday

2009-03-20T06:24:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, nine years ago, I was sitting by a statue at my university. It was dark and I had been crying for hours. Years of having my little girl heart battered resulted in thick heavy walls and God was breaking them down. Could I step into the vulnerable light of exposure and open the door to Christ? It seemed awfully risky. What would happen to my heart if I let Him in? Could I really trust Him if I gave Him my life? It was a daring, crazy, leap off of a terrifying cliff; I could not have taken it without the gift of faith - for why should I think that God would treat my heart differently than everybody else had? If God rejected me then it would the last straw, I would be destroyed.

You know, if you know Him, exactly what He did. :-)

Here I find myself, nine years later, with the same leap and the same risk only vastly different. The walls were rebuilt, slowly over time, to protect my frail heart from pain and puncture. But love snuck in and tore them all down. Suddenly, I realize that despite my best efforts, I'm now vulnerable, open, and raw, if you will. Instead of standing on the edge, I'm already falling. I gave my heart to God and He gave it to Matthew. I suddenly fumble, realizing it's gone and I'm not going to get it back. I love him and I cannot stop. So instead, I wait with batted-breath to see what will happen to my heart. Matthew has never been anything but kind, protective and tender. God's faithfulness is constant and His mercy is new every morning - but I've reverted back to anticipating the pain. Oh, how easily I have forgotten what God does with the heart! How He holds it and heals it, how He tenderly caresses it, how He purifies it and stitches up the wounds which at first may hurt but then at last are gone.

You cannot love with walls. Love is an open door. I think about the weightiness, the blissful joyful burden of loving and wonder how God can bear it for the whole world. I look at the cross and see the grotesqueness of love - it's not as pretty as the world pretends. I see the result of Christ's love for the Father and the Father's love for us. There's an inescapable vulnerability. Love isn't easy and love isn't free. Yet, if I may be so bold, the price for it pales in comparison to it's worth.

Romans 5:1-7 "Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God. And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly."