the sad ninja

FACA and the White House See Eye to Eye

2009-10-31T08:20:00.000-07:00

White House calls for an end to calculator abuse. Read more here.

Join FACA in this fight by writing your congressman and demanding that laws be enacted to end this abuse.

You have counted on them. This time, they are counting on you.

Facebookers Against Calculator Abuse

2009-10-31T08:17:00.000-07:00

Every year an untold number of calculators worldwide are abused and neglected. These instruments of truth seek only to enlighten and enhance understanding. And yet they are tossed in backpacks without thought or repercussion. Such carelessness is known to be the leading cause of solar panel fractures, an incurable and life ending injury. Join FACA in this fight by writing your Congressman and demanding that laws be enacted to end what Jared Bernstein, chief economist and senior economic advisor to the vice president, has called "calculator abuse." You have counted on them. This time, they are counting on you!

Join thousands of Americans and Jared Bernstein to end calculator abuse. For too long this problem has lingered in darkness and obscurity. Today that ends. You have counted on them. This time, they are counting on you! Join FACA now to end calculator abuse.

how cnn made the bcs look good

2009-09-10T21:29:00.000-07:00

According to a CNN poll, two out of three Americans who watched President Obama's health care reform speech favor his health care plan. Ah but the devil is in the details. For every one republican surveyed 2.5 democrats were surveyed. Really guys? Come on CNN, this kind of stuff makes BCS number crunching look good. At least try and make it look like you are still reporters and not part of O’s propaganda machine.

this will make you LOL

2009-08-29T19:52:00.000-07:00

This a brand new site. In fact, it isn't even a month old.

PeopleofWalmart.com

The name says it all. If you are not already laughing or have no idea why this is site is so funny, there is a good chance you may see a picture of yourself or someone you know. Enjoy.

one trillion - now in 3D

2009-07-17T20:27:00.000-07:00

Twelve zeros preceed by a one. Here it is in 2D:

1,000,000,000,000.

Here it is in 3D:

17 pennies = 1 inch

204 pennies = 1 foot

1,077,120 pennies = 1 mile

257,277,651,840 pennies = 1 trip to the moon

1,000,000,000,000 dollars in pennies = 388 trips to the moon.

"We have to go spend money to keep from going bankrupt." - Joe Biden

Thursday, July 16, 2009

three unchanging truths

2009-07-03T14:30:00.000-07:00

1. The worlds is flat.

2. The sun orbits the Earth.

3. The globe is warming.

cash money

2009-02-14T12:17:00.000-08:00

There is no question that the GOP and the Dems walked America to the curb but now the Dems have tossed America under the bus. Nine hundred and sixty six days and counting.

pork and lipstick

2009-02-08T09:11:00.000-08:00

"You can put lipstick on a pig, but it's still a pig."

- Barack Obama September 9, 2008

The current stimulus bill is full of pork wearing stimulus lipstick. A fact, which is contrary to the President's pledge of, "an economic recovery plan that is free from earmarks and pet projects." On Thursday the President seemingly recanted his pledge with these words, "When was the last time that we saw a bill of this magnitude move out with no earmarks in it? Not one." So Mr. President, are earmarks and pet projects in or out? One thing is for shizzle, double talk is still in.

Can I offer you a stimulus pork sample? I like to imagine it with a tooth pick served from a Costco platter on a Saturday morning. $198 million to compensate Filipino World War II veterans for their service with a side of most of them don’t even live in the United States. That sounds yummy and job creating.

Write you senators today, I just did. I'll make it easy for you, cut and paste this:

The current stimulus bill is full of pork wearing stimulus lipstick.

what would mitt do?

2009-02-07T17:08:00.001-08:00

If you only read one thing today, read this and write your senators.

Take a look at what Mitt had to say before the Economic Stimulus Working Group on January 15th, 2009.

Here are some of the highlights:

His Words: "There are two ways Washington can put money into the economy—one is by sending it back to the taxpayers and the other is by spending it. Of the two, it’s the former that has the bigger bang for the buck." Mine: Bigger wallets not bigger government.
His Words: "The best medicine for a sick economy is permanent tax relief. I’d recommend eliminating the tax on savings for middle income Americans—no tax on interest, dividends or capital gains. This accomplishes three things: it puts money into the consumer’s pocket, it helps replenish the pool of investment capital, and it encourages more Americans to become owners of American business." Mine: Enable the little guy to pick himself up.
His Words: "Infrastructure projects will be included [in a stimulus package], but because they invariably face delays for engineering, environmental reviews and contracting, they can take a long time to actually boost the economy." Mine: Political Math, Infrastructure Investment = More Votes for ME!
His Words: "No parade of pork." Mine: Kill that pig.
His Words: "We cannot write bailout checks to every petitioner." Mine: Amen
His Words: "It is the private sector—the home of entrepreneurs, workers, managers, and visionaries—the private sector, not government, that creates jobs, boosts wages, and provides for our future." Mine: Mitt in 2012

now hiring

2009-01-05T14:16:00.000-08:00

Last Friday the President-in-waiting stated in a radio address that he wants to create 3 million new jobs. He said his numero uno goal, "is to create three million new jobs, more than 80 percent of them in the private sector.” In this case, more than 80 percent equals at least 81 percent but no more than 99 percent. Lets just say he hit is minimum goal of 81 percent in private sector, which leaves 19 percent in sectors other than private. Hmm... that must be the public sector. If my math is correct, and I know it is because I used a calculator, that means that Señor Obama plans to create 570,000 new public servants. In other words, get your resumes ready and get ready to relax on the tax payer's dime.

if it looks like a needle

2009-01-02T08:34:00.000-08:00

This post was inspired by the nine Muslim passengers who were booted off a AirTran fight the other day. One of the Muslim passengers innocently remarked, “Wow, the jets are right next to my window.” Someone over reacted and the plane left two hours late and nine passengers lighter. An American born member of the party in question said he and the others were profiled because of their appearance. All six adults were of South Asian descent and from beards to headscarves all were in traditional Muslim dress. Of course they where profiled. When you choose to look like the needle in the hay stack, you run the risk of being picked up. In this case of over reacting I hope there are no ill feelings.

A few years ago I needed a little sim time to maintain my civilian instrument currency. When I showed up for my sim period I was greeted by the flight instructor who would be running the simulator for me. In less than an hour I had completed all of the required maneuvers to gain another year of currency. As my flight instructor was filling out my logbook, I began to ask him about the post 9/11 aviation job market. He gave an expectedly dismal review of the continuing carnage that had ensued in the wake of the 9/11 attacks. However, it wasn’t the job market that was keeping him from moving on it was his student visa. He then went on to add that everything was getting a bit out of hand and that people were over reacting. He continued by citing his own reoccurring experiences at airports when he travels. Often when traveling he was being questioned by the authorities or hassled every time he would attempt to board a commercial fight. As I sat there listening to him all I could think was; when you are looking for a needle in a hay stack you pick up everything that looks like a needle. And here before me was a single male, of Pakistani descent, with a Norwegian passport, on a student visa, with extensive flight training. If it looks like a needle...

11% = 2.8%

2008-12-29T22:15:00.000-08:00

Earlier this year congress’s approval rating dipped as low as 9 percent, that’s a new record. And let’s not forget the four-peat at 20 percent. For the average employee this would equal a pink slip or at least a well earned pay cut. But for our super stellar congress this equals a pay raise of 2.8 percent, which equates to $391.66 a month or $4700 a year. Keep in mind many of our employees in our congress are making around $169,000 a year. Oh and let’s not forget the delicious lobbyist sponsored lunches and comfy private jets or that sweet retirement package for serving a whopping 6 years.

I don’t know about you but I for one am please to know where at least 2.8 percent of my tax dollars are headed.

These guys work for you or at least that is what the constitution would have you believe. Let your employee know what you think by clicking here.

welcome home

2008-12-15T10:18:00.000-08:00

The following is an excerpt from an actual conversation that occurred between myself and more than one person. To protect the identity of the innocent, we'll refer to the other persons as Scuba. I will being playing the part of Me.

Scuba: Welcome home.

Me: Thanks.

Scuba: So how was it?

Me: Too long.

Scuba: So, is it good to be home?

Me: It sure is.

In the 14 days that I have been home, I have been asked a lot of questions. All of which I have been more than happy to answer except one. "Is it good to be home?" What kind of a question is that. Of course, it is good to be home. No, it is great to be home. So the correct answer is, "No it is not good to be home, it is great to be home."

About the Picture: When I came home from Iraq in 2003 some of the neighbors hung this sign on the front of the house. Craig is my little brother. Who at the time was living in California.

still kickin'

2008-11-16T10:59:00.000-08:00

Burn out has come and gone. Yet, I am still here kickin' it in the ash pile that is my life turned upside down and flipped inside out. Ah, but the end is near and my days in Iraq can now be numbered on my fingers. Or at least I hope they can.

Cue the fat lady...

these people need water parks

2008-09-07T17:33:00.000-07:00

What the rain? More like rain drops and only four at that. It is a good sign that cooler temperatures are on the way. Day time highs are still in the upper hundred and someteens (if the president can make-up words than so can I) to low one-twenties with night time highs hanging around one-ten or so.

ten days a week

2008-08-29T16:34:00.000-07:00

Every ten days I get a weekend. It may consist of a Saturday-Sunday or it could be something as thrilling as a Tuesday-Wednesday combo. My life is just that exciting. Last weekend I took a little time to design a few shirts to submit to a subsidiary of my favorite online retailer, www.shirt.woot.com. Each design is a unique expression of my awesomeness.

mello roast

you can run

time travel

new high: 127.3

2008-07-28T21:09:00.000-07:00

Dust rolled in the following day causing it to be over twenty degrees cooler.

new high: 124.9

2008-07-23T02:07:00.000-07:00

One hundred plus in the summer time without a slippin' slide, that's just wrong!

2003 vs 2008 – wheels and rotors

2008-07-19T08:00:00.000-07:00

In 2003, I rolled across Iraq in a light armed vehicle known as an LAV; go figure. In 2008, I fly over Iraq in CH-47 heavy lift helicopter. One was designed to deliver death and destruction; the other, cargo. As odd as it may sound my 03 wheels and my 08 rotors have a few things in common. For starters, both float; here are some links to prove it: LAV & CH-47. (I have floated an LAV but not a CH-47.) Both are a lot faster than they look. The LAV, while not super fast, can reach nearly 70 mph; and my CH-47 is the fastest helicopter the Army has to offer. Everyone seems to think the Apache is the fastest. Just because something looks fast doesn't mean it is fast. Just ask the hare, go tortoises!

another question from kt

2008-07-17T23:42:00.000-07:00

Q: Will you steal some oil for me?
A: No can do, unless you can come pick it up. You see, mailing it to you is out of the question or at least I believe it is. Yesterday I was at the post office. There they had a large poster listing all of the items that cannot be mailed via the USPS. The list included items such as: guns, drugs, hand grenades, ammunition, alcohol or alcohol laced food products, land mines, etc. (Land mines, honestly; who is mailing land mines?) While I did not take the time to read the entire poster, I am pretty sure Texas gold is somewhere on that list and thus out of the question.

2003 vs 2008 - the holes i dug

2008-07-13T16:14:00.000-07:00

As one might guess there are many holes to be dug in the military, the fox hole being the most common. Fox holes come in all shapes and sizes with various adaptations for machine guns and other defensive measures such as a grenade sump. Hollywood has done a fantastic job glamorizing the fox hole as an iconic centerpiece of combat.

There is another hole, one rarely mentioned and far from glamorous; the cat hole. What the cat hole lacks in prestige is well compensated for by its necessity. I will spare you the unseemly details and instead direct your attention to the above picture, more specifically to the small hole under the chair. Yep, you guessed it. Also picture are the options I had for facilitating taking care of number two. The chair was considered a priceless find and the rubber tubing a luxuries upgrade. In the darker days that preceded the chair, the accommodations were far less enticing. An ammo crate with both ends punched out did a fair job and the worse case scenario, a shovel.

Fortunately, the days of cat holes are a thing of the past. These days your fighting men and women of the armed forces enjoy porcelain and plumbing. Ah, the spoils of occupation.

another question

2008-07-08T21:31:00.000-07:00

Q: Do you still find spiders that are the size of small children?
A: I believe you are asking about camel spiders. I never saw any camel spiders in 2003. However, this time around I have seen two. The first, I observed as he sat quietly enjoying his lunch, a small lizard. The second, ran past me one night as I spoke with a friend. These little guys are nasty with a mean bite.

Fast Facts:
1. Top Speed: Approximately 10 mph.
2. Size: Up to 6 inches sometimes larger.
3. Venom: None, but who needs venom when you have dirty fangs?
4. Vertical: High enough to leap onto your leg.

Not for the faint of heart.

2003 vs 2008 - eagles

2008-07-02T21:26:00.000-07:00

The first big difference I encountered during my second Iraqi adventure would have to be the company I keep. In 2003, I rolled into Iraq as a Marine. In 2008, I flew into Iraq as an Army Warrant Officer.

On a side note: People join the Marine Corps for numerous reasons; many join to get in the fight and make someone else die for their country or cause. Lucky for me I did neither in 2003. Although, at the time myself and many of the Marines with which I served felt a bit dejected for not having fired a single shot at the enemy. We felt as if we had some how failed to justify our right to call ourselves Marines; it is hard to explain. (Boy, I'm glad I got that out of my system. Although, I do still lace my boots and shoes with the laces crossing left over right, stupid lobotomy.) I'll stop there and not try to delineate the differences between the Marine Corps and the Army or being enlisted as opposed to being an officer. Instead, I will explain the eagles pictured above.

The first eagle is part of what is known as the Eagle, Globe and Anchor. It is known around the world as the emblem of the United States Marine Corps. The second eagle is known as the Rising Eagle. It is as well known as is the group of soldiers it represents. The Rising Eagle is the emblem of the United States Warrant Officer Corps.

A Warrant Officer is an officer that falls in between the highest enlisted rank but below the lowest regular standard officer rank. We are a little unknown group of officers who are expected to be subject matter experts in our chosen field. That other group of officers are stuck with all of the administrative tasks of running the Army and they can have it. I'll go fly my helicopter.

2003 vs. 2008 – intro

2008-06-30T21:34:00.001-07:00

If you have been in the military for more than a day there is a good chance you have deployed at least once, if not twice or three times or more. Oh and if you have not, you soon will. The Army is currently scouring its personnel records looking for the sneaky few who have successfully evaded the many deployment cycles. I am currently on my second deployment, the first was in 2003. In the coming days I will explore the differences between my two deployments. This is something I find myself thinking about often. I can not help but being reminded of how much my Iraqi life style has changed. Some of the topics you can look forward to reading about include: meals ready to eat, castles and compounds, pillows, and the holes I dug.

answers

2008-06-30T21:34:00.000-07:00

Q: Azúcar asked: Is it a dry heat or is it humid?
A: When I was a kid, my siblings and I would roast marshmallows over heater vents. As you can imagine, there was not enough heat to cause the desired effect, it was only dry and hot as was that poor fluffy sensation. I have now become that marshmallow and my fate is likewise.

Q: KT asked: When you go home in 5 months, do you get to stay forever?
A: Nope, there are still political autobiographies to be written, money to be made, generals to be promoted, and wars to be won. If I am lucky, I will have about two years at home before I have to leave again.