Ariel Gore

One More Nut for Obama

2008-07-25T20:19:00.001-07:00

Hey - look at Maria's "One More Nut for Obama" T-shirts for babies & grown-ups!

California Milk Processors Board goes after Alaska mama

2008-07-25T14:24:00.000-07:00

When she sat down in her one-room Alaska cabin three years ago to hand-letter some slogans promoting breastfeeding on a dozen or so onesies, Talkeetna artist Barbara Holmes had no idea she was threatening agribusiness-powerhouse, the California Milk Processors Board. But such is the nature of the aggressive approach of CMPB in search of trademark infringement, that Ms. Holmes found herself on the receiving end of a highly-aggressive demand letter earlier this month...

The same letter I got in January!

Read Barbara's story on her lawyer's blog, or in the Anchorage Daily News

Writing Workshop in Oaxaca - Workshop may be full! Email Ariel if you're interested in coming

2008-07-14T15:21:00.000-07:00

I'm hosting a writing workshop in Oaxaca, Mexico this winter! The class size is super-limited, so read on and sign up early if you’re coming…

Christmastime Writing Workshop in Oaxaca, Mexico with Ariel Gore

December 11 – 17

As the light of the north wanes this winter, spend a week writing and soaking up inspiration in the sunshine of southern Mexico.

Find your voice as a writer, explore your craft, produce new short stories, get feedback on your work, write that book proposal, revive an ongoing project--even get started on a new book.

On retreats like these, writers can often produce ten to twelve new pages each day. Your pace may be faster or slower, but I guarantee that you'll come away from the experience with some excellent new work and a sense of creative rejuvenation.

Here's the plan...

December 11

You'll arrive in Oaxaca and check into the wonderful Casa Colonial guesthouse where you'll stay for six nights and enjoy full, delicious breakfasts each morning (Mexican and American fare). On the evening of your check-in, you'll also enjoy a light cena prepared by chef Teresa Garcia and you'll meet Ariel and the other writers.

December 12

December 12 is the sacred Feast of the Virgin of Guadalupe--revered as the patron saint and Queen of all Mexico. In Oaxaca, she is honored on December 12 with songs at dawn and activities throughout the day--including the presentation of the children to the Virgin, music, fireworks, and carnival rides. Settle into this amazing city, enjoy the celebrations, and meet with Ariel for your workshop syllabus and first writing assignment.

December 13 through 17

We'll meet for two hours each morning--usually in the living room or covered patio of Casa Colonial.

We'll share new work, offer critique and ideas, write together, and stir up the inspiration. You'll spend another two to three hours each day writing on your own. Your rooms have desks, the guesthouse has a library, courtyard, and garden, and the whole city of Oaxaca is pedestrian-friendly and writer-friendly. The balance of each day will be yours to spend as you wish—exploring ancient cities and Colonial churches, relaxing, strolling through ethnobotanical gardens and open markets, riding horseback in the countryside, doing holiday shopping, sampling Oaxaca's world-famous cuisine and maybe even taking a cooking class.

Optional afternoon trips on these days are planned to the home studios of the best representatives of the traditional Oaxacan arts including Demetrio Bautista Lazo, master weaver in Teotitlan del Valle, and Jacobo Angeles, master woodcarver in San Martin Tilcajete. There will be a small extra transportation cost for these trips.

December 15

Day trip to the pre-Columbian power spot of Monte Alban—one of the earliest cities of Mesoamerica. We'll head out from Oaxaca City bright and early to beat the heat (and the crowds), tour this amazing archaeological site, write, and hold our daily workshop.

In addition to the group workshops, each student will have the opportunity to meet with Ariel for a one-on-one literary consultation. Submit a story or manuscript excerpt (up to 25 pages) by December 1 for detailed feedback and direction.

The last day of the workshop is December 17—

just in time to head home or to a tropical beach for Christmas.

THIS WORKSHOP MAY BE FULL - EMAIL ARIEL TO SEE IF THERE IS SPACE BEFORE YOU PAY A DEPOSIT

Wintertime Writing Workshop in Oaxaca with Ariel Gore - Complete Package
Cost includes daily writing workshops, individual literary consultation, day trip to Monte Alban, optional afternoon trips, and six nights lodging with full breakfasts as well as arrival night dinner (Mexican and American fare... vegetarians easily accommodated).
$650
($175 deposit saves your spot; balance due by October 9)

Companion rate

Cost includes six nights lodging with full breakfasts, arrival night dinner, day trip to Monte Alban, and optional afternoon trips (no writing workshops).
$350
($100 deposit saves your spot; balance due by October 9)

Wintertime Writing Workshops Only (you have your own lodging)

Cost includes daily writing workshops, Monte Alban day trip, individual literary consultation, and optional afternoon trips.
$350
($100 deposit saves your spot; balance due by October 9)

Most rooms are double occupancy--though a few are single (with shared bath). Sign up with a friend, bring a companion, or bunk with a fellow writer you've yet to meet. Please let us know if you'd prefer a single room (twin bed), a double-occupancy room with separate beds, a double-occupancy room with a king bed, or the family suite... (It will be first-come, first-serve with these preferences... there are eleven rooms in the guesthouse). Do email if you're planning to bring children or if your additional guest is a child—the cost will vary depending on your accommodation and childcare needs.

If you don't use Paypal, you can send an email to save your spot and put a check in the mail to:

Ariel Gore

P.O. Box 42522

Portland, OR 97242

Feel free to Email Ariel with any other questions.

Check Travelocity.com for current airfares. You can fly directly to Oaxaca, or you can fly to Mexico City and get a bus from the airport to Oaxaca (about 6 hours on the first class bus). And don't forget to apply for your passport early.

See you in Oaxaca!

*Deposits are non-refundable (unless there's a major natural or manmade disaster--in which case we'll cancel the workshop and refund!)

Pregnancy Pact Or No...

2008-07-10T16:13:00.001-07:00

Here's a brave editorial from Sarah Edell that's taking a lot of heat over at LoHud.com

The recent news articles about the 17 girls at Gloucester High School in Massachusetts who are expecting babies--more than four times the number of pregnancies that the 1,200--student school had in the 2007 school year--point to a phenomena alternately attributed to a "pregnancy pact" and a statistical blip.

Regardless of whether a pregnancy pact existed among the 17 high school students, and regardless of whether they were using birth control or received sex education, the publicity surrounding the pregnancies is an opportunity to open the conversation on teen pregnancy in the United States, and to evaluate if either access to education and birth control or abstinence are the real issues. Rather, I believe feminism is the ultimate issue.

A woman owns her body at any age. Women should be able to control their fertility the moment it begins. And her desires and the intellectual understanding she has of her own desires are valid at any age or education level. These 17 Gloucester women, and Jamie Lynn Spears, for that matter, chose sex. They got pregnant and they chose to continue their pregnancies in spite of financial autonomy in our culture. We must seek to understand this desire, and we must respect it.

Their decisions are not necessarily representative of broad social failing toward these women, but rather, I suspect, a sign that we still have not been able to reconcile feminism with our antiquated sense of autonomy. We assume that it is better to wait until a mother can independently and financially provide for her child. Yet in traditional cultures, it is an entire family and community that provide for children. We have isolated child-rearing to this elite, moneyed, relatively old strata of society, when it is so natural for young women to pursue pregnancy. Is it not rather smart of these women to get pregnant at 15, while they are still young, have few material worries, and can be confident their families and the welfare system will help them? In contrast, it was rather foolish of me, at 35 and the dawn of my career, to have gotten pregnant, when American middle-class work culture is so virulently antagonistic to working motherhood. And, together, with youthful energy and shared experience, these women will have a community of co-mothers to rely upon. I envy that.

Yes, statistics do suggest that "unwed mothers" - a ghastly, sexist term - and "teenage mothers" suffer greater poverty than "wed mothers over 20," yet the fundamental problem is not being unwed or young, but rather a culture that places financial self-reliance over community. The solution is complex: Create a culture where laws, social programs and work culture embrace child rearing at any age, and respect a woman's right to control her fertility throughout her life. Reconciliation of women's reproductive capability and desires, with Western democracy, capitalism and American society in a way that respects gender equality as a whole, is the ultimate task before us as a culture.

Consciously or not, the 17 Gloucester students did their best to reconcile the forces in their own lives. That effort is feminism.

I am a Money Magnet

2008-07-09T10:38:00.000-07:00

So, I've finally decided to throw my pride to the wind, embrace my inner dork, and hire a life coach.

With an infant at home and a teenager in college, my most pressing need was to double my income. But every time I made a move to increase the cash flow, all my nagging little beliefs about money started bobbing to the surface: Money is the root of all evil. If I charge too much for my work, the people I really want to serve won't be able to afford me. My work isn't worth much, anyway. And I get to do the work I love--writing and teaching and editing--what right do I have to demand to be paid? Hard labor is work. This isn't work. And anyway, money is dirty. Good, spiritual, people like Buddha had no need for money. Why should I need it?

"If you say those bad things about money," my friend Inga scolded me, "money will get its feelings hurt and money will NOT want to come around!"

I know this, but what's a girl to do about a depply-held belief? I mean, I'm well aware that these beliefs don't serve me--living as I do here and now in America where everything from healthcare to education will cost you. I've got two kids to support. And let's face it, Buddha didn't pay his child support.

My sister, who's into past life regression and channeling dolphins and whatnot, tells me that she went to see an an ancestor clairvoyant specialist once and found out that our family had taken a 15-generation poverty vow. Fifteen generations!

Ouch!

"When did they do that?" I wanted to know. I was hoping it was 16 generations ago.

My sister shrugged. "How should I know?"

Fifteen generations. Wow, I thought. Doesn't sound good. But, as I learned from my Catholic priest father, some vows are made to be broken.

So I called up my old friend LaSara FireFox, who also happens be a life coach, and I said, LaSara, I need to make friends with money.

And then she told me how much she charged.

Gulp. "All right," I squeaked.

And we got to work.

LaSara, who has done an insane amount of research on the gender wage gap, says the gap--which has actually increased in recent years--exists even among self-employed women in competitive fields. Talk about internalized oppression.

So, wish me luck and money on my journey.

I'll keep you posted. And since I said those bad things about money in the beginning of this post, I'd like to take a moment to clarify: Money, I totally didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I was, in this case, just giving some examples about false beliefs about money.

Money is empowerment! Money flows naturally and easily into my life. If I charge what I am worth, I attract people I want to serve. I also create the time and resources to serve everyone. My work is worth a great deal. I am a money magnet! Even the Dalai Lama loves money. Money is clean. I love money!

What do you think about money?

Thinking About Maria Monaco

2008-06-16T19:44:00.000-07:00

Last week Maria Monaco was freed by Italian police after being locked in a room in her family home for eighteen years. Her crime? Out-of-wedlock pregnancy.

Eighteen years.

My ancestors are from that part of Italy--and here's a shout out to ol' Giuseppe and Rocco for getting the H-E-L-L out! Tho' it's hard saying whether southern Texas was a dramatic improvement.

Eighteen years.

I was pregnant around the same as Maria Monaco. I was in Italy, too, but just as a traveler. The old women in my village narrowed their eyes at my unmarried, knocked-up self, but what could they really do? They whispered. They made it clear that if I chose to raise my child in their pretty little town, they would whisper louder. My daughter would pay for my indiscretion.

Back home in California, folks said I made my bed. Still, I got to raise my baby, go to college and grad school. Pretty much free. Shamed, and learning to ignore it. A neighbor banged on our door and walls and screamed at my daughter that she was a "Welfare Queen." She was maybe eighteen months old. Learning every day to ignore it. We moved. Learned to ignore new people.

Maria Monaco was -- is -- ten years older than I am. She's 47 now. She wasn't even a teen mom -- she was a grown-up mama by anybody's standards. Simply unmarried. Breaking the rules.

It makes me so sick, the incredible shame and punishment we inflict on each other for being sexual, for having kids at the "wrong" time or in the "wrong" circumstances. And so often it's the women of the family who enforce the laws of the patriarchy.

Maria Monaco's mother is charged in her imprisonment.
Maria Monaco's sister.
And her brother, too.

Maria Monaco was confined to a small room on the first floor of the house--bare except for a single bed.

At least once a year a woman comes to my memoir workshop and among her many stories is the story of being forced to give a child up for adoption. Sometimes adoption is a woman's true choice, of course, but I'm not taking about being allowed our true choices. I'm talking about the way we are coerced, for all intents forced, to give our children away, to lock ourselves up, to pretend it never happened--as if that's possible.

And so often it was the women in the family who insisted that it had to be so.

All to avoid what? Shame? Pain? What?

"Nobody'll call my daughter a whore." I mean, WHAT?

So, anyway, Maria Monaco, I'm thinking about you. I'm lighting a candle because I can't think of much else I can do right now. A candle, an old Catholic habit, one of the ones I actually like, actually hang on to. I'm lighting it for you, Maria Monaco, and for all the nameless women who are locked in rooms all over the world. And I'm thinking thoughts that are the opposite of shame. For Maria Monaco: Honor, strength, pride at your ability to survive, a shout out for your emotional and physical healing. I'm thinking of you.

The Traveling Death & Resurrection Show on MTV!

2008-06-10T10:53:00.001-07:00

This will actually link you over to MTV.com... because they won't let me properly embed it here... Or I don't know how... But it's cool. It's me reading a snippet from the novel with original music by the Beastie Boys & cool animation.

This should be the direct link... does it work for everyone?

Campus childcare blues

2008-06-01T09:12:00.001-07:00

Wah! I Just found out that the school program I was planning to start in the fall doesn't actually have the available childcare they said they did.

I went through this as an undergraduate at Mills, and as a graduate student at U.C. Berkeley--so why am I still such a sucker? Why do I always believe these advertisements of childcare? I am feeling hopelessly and endlessly naive.

Most of these schools' education departments have fancy lab schools for the rich kids in the area (hardly ever for the kids of student mamas or even professor mamas). And there are these huge long wait lists for the preschool programs. Your kid would be in grade school by the time she got in. I guess we're supposed to freeze our embryos until it looks like there's just about a year left to wait and then quick! implant and send in the school application.

Meanwhile, these huge billboards all over town picture a mom or a dad at a computer, kid crawling by. DISTANCE LEARNING. I mean, internet classes and e-learning, and low-residency programs are fine for some things, but it's not like you can get a whole and real university experience online while your kid crawls around at your feet. And it's hard not to see these things as yet another excuse for schools not to offer childcare--or to offer childcare and then tell you there's a year-long wait once you get there and, Here, honey, why don't you just take your classes online and stay away from our pretty little campus with your snot-nose kid.

Folksinger, Storyteller, Railroad Tramp

2008-05-27T22:31:00.000-07:00

Utah Philips passed away in his sleep just before midnight on May 23.

Last time I talked to him, he was like, Yeah, we should shoot the shit again sometime soon. Or was it Chew the fat? That was a long time ago, I guess. Memorial service is on Sunday in Nevada City, California.

Here's Utah's website... And on Youtube... Hallelujah I'm a bum!

Max in the newspaper!

2008-05-18T21:38:00.000-07:00

Well, they have some funny ads, and on the website they run a lot of the sentences together, but you can read the Q & A with me over at the Oregonian

three cheers for diane di prima

2008-05-14T21:00:00.000-07:00

In Recollections of My Life as a Woman, the poet Diane di Prima tells of a night at Allen Ginsberg's place in New York. She'd gotten a friend to babysit her young daughter and headed over to Ginsberg's apartment because Jack Kerouac and Philip Whalen were in town for "one of those nights with lots of important intense talk about writing you don't remember later."

Well, Diane had promised her babysitter that she'd be back at 11:30 that night, and 11:30 starts rolling around, so she bids her farewells. "Whereupon, Kerouac raised himself up on one elbow on the linoleum and announced in a stentorian voice: "DI PRIMA, UNLESS YOU FORGET ABOUT YOUR BABYSITTER, YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO BE A WRITER.""

How do you like that?

Kerouac just raises himself up on his one drunken elbow and slaps us with the great fear we all share. He embodies the archetype of the selfish, self-destructive male artist and he announces that unless we, too, are willing to be irresponsible to our relationships, we’ll never quite measure up.

"I considered this carefully, then and later," di Prima writes, "and allowed that at least part of me thought he was right. But nevertheless I got up and went home."

Three cheers for di Prima!

"I'd given my word to my friend," she explains, "and I would keep it. Maybe I was never going to be a writer, but I had to risk it. That was the risk that was hidden (like a Chinese puzzle) inside the other risk of: can I be a single mom and be a poet?""

A serious question, that one. Serious not only for single moms, but for all of us. Can we be present in our relationships and still do the work we feel called to do? It's like my friend Lynn says: "A woman has to make a real effort not to dissolve into everything that needs her." Our relationships need us, but we don't want to dissolve. We refuse to dissolve, but we choose also to be responsible to our relationships. We're tired of the drunk guy on the linoleum telling us we can't do both. Women have always done both.

Looking back, di Prima recognizes what is true: Had she opted to stay that night, "there would be no poems. That is, the person who would have left a friend hanging who had done her a favor, also wouldn't have stuck through thick and thin to the business of making poems. It is the same discipline throughout--"

The same discipline.

And discipline, like motherhood, is good for the soul. Poetry is good for the soul. Responsibility to all of our dysfunctional relationships is good for the soul. The archetype of the selfish male artist tells us that we can't manage all of these things at once, that we can't be simultaneously responsible to children, babysitters, self, and art, that we have to sacrifice, to abandon—but we know that’s a lie.

As I write this, Kerouac has been in his grave for nearly 40 years. Diane di Prima is down in San Francisco, mother of five children, author of 35 books of poetry and several memoirs, powerhouse and 21st century radical.

In Revolutionary Letters, di Prima writes, "Be strong. We have the right to make the universe we dream. No need to fear 'science' groveling apology for things as they are, ALL POWER TO JOY, which will remake the world."

Three cheers for the courage to make the universe we dream.

mama's day party

2008-05-13T21:38:00.000-07:00

Thanks for coming to the party!

Look at the you tube right here

kboo radio show

2008-05-05T17:22:00.001-07:00

I'll be on KBOO 90.7 in Portland tomorrow - TUESDAY MAY 6 - with Hip Mama's new editor, Kerlin Richter, Rad Dad editor Tom Moniz, and Edgy'Catin Mama editor Nina Packebush.

Tune in to our mother's day show! Listen live at kboo.fm...

new issue

2008-04-09T12:01:00.000-07:00

The new issue of Hip Mama is wending its way to newsstands and to subscribers mailboxes right now.

Featuring...

Yo Mama's Daybook
Pregnant daddies
How to counter military recruitment
Hip Mama readers old-school and new sending the zine off to its new editor with love, good wishes, and inappropriate memories...
Annaliese Jakimides on what we teach our children
Victoria Law reports from the first gathering of indigenous Zapatista women with women from around the world
And way more

You can order a single copy or subscription at theHip Mama shop.

Friends of Matt Diaz

2008-04-06T20:54:00.000-07:00

Hey! My friend and ex-Navy officer Matthew Diaz gambled everything to uphold the rights of prisoners at Guantánamo. Now he may lose his law license.

He was just awarded The Ridenhour Truth-Telling Prize

Read the Salon story about Matt Diaz here

Visit his new website here

Or listen to listen to La Califusa's song for Matt

2008-03-31T11:11:00.001-07:00

Mother's Day Hip Mama Party & Variety Show

2008-03-19T18:33:00.002-07:00

Come celebrate the spring & the changing of the editors...

MOTHER'S DAY PARTY & VARIETY SHOW IN PORTLAND!
We'll be hosting a Mother's Day party & variety show fundraiser for the relaunch of the zine
Connect with other counter-culture parents
Meet the new editor
Support the new Hip Mama
Music from The Repair and others
Puppet show
Silent auction
Beer & Wine
Readings by Ariel Gore and others...
Watch for more details right here...
Mark your calendar: Sunday, May 11, 5 - 8 p.m., at the Watershed - 5040 SE Milwaukie in Portland, $5 suggested donation (or get a free ticket with your 5-issue support the new Hip Mama subscription
Kids free & welcome

Hip Mama is getting a new editor

2008-03-18T12:41:00.000-07:00

After 15 years, Hip Mama is getting a new editor!

The Spring '08 issue--the one I'm working on right now--is the last issue of Hip Mama I'll edit. It will be out in mid April. After that, I'll to stay on as Yo Mama & a consulting editor, but I'm passing the reigns to the amazing Kerlin Richter, a writer/editor, visual artist mama, and theology student.

Kerlin will of course bring her own vibe & vision to Hip Mama--and maybe even get back to putting it out 4 times a year--but the "mission" stays the same--feminist, pro-choice, reader-written--yes indeed. The post office box is the same, too (P.O. Box 12525, Portland, OR, 97212), but the new email address will be hipmamazine at gmail dot com

Support the new Hip Mama with a 5-issue subscription--your first issue will be #39, edited by Ariel, and then you'll get Kerlin's first four issues. Includes a free ticket to the Motrher's Day celebration for mamas in the Portland area. Take a chance on something new and beautiful!

three cheers for truth-telling!

2008-03-11T16:36:00.000-07:00

I just learned that my friend Matthew Diaz, former JAG corps officer at Guantanamo, fresh out of jail and booted out of the military for telling the truth is being honored with the 2008 Ridenhour Prize for Truth-Telling.

Woo hoo!

Congratulation to Matt. He deserves heroic recognition.

CLICK RIGHT HERE to listen to my sister's song for Matt.

As you may remember, a jury last year sentenced Matt to six months for giving a list of Guantanamo detainees to a New York law firm, making him, as Harper's Magazine put it, "the first political prisoner in recent United States history." He transmitted the names as an act of protest over the mistreatment of prisoners at Guantanamo. A federal court subsequently ruled that the Navy's decision to withhold the names was unlawful, and issued an order compelling their disclosure--so the Pentagon's withholding of the names, and not Matt's action, was unlawful.

maximilian sez

2008-03-10T19:14:00.001-07:00

why you feel so funky

2008-03-10T09:32:00.000-07:00

(AP) -- A vast array of pharmaceuticals -- including antibiotics, anti-convulsants, mood stabilizers and sex hormones -- have been found in the drinking water supplies of at least 41 million Americans, an Associated Press investigation shows.

To be sure, the concentrations of these pharmaceuticals are tiny, far below the levels of a medical dose. Also, utilities insist their water is safe.

But the presence of so many prescription drugs -- and over-the-counter medicines like acetaminophen and ibuprofen -- in so much of our drinking water is heightening worries among scientists of long-term consequences to human health.

Eew.

Rad Zinesters in California

2008-03-06T07:17:00.000-08:00

Holy wow - I so wish I was in California. Look at this amazing line-up....

California, here we come!
Radical Parent Writer-Zine-Friends Together at Last:
Rahula Janowski of the zine Joybringer, Jessica Mills, author of My Mother Wears Combat Boots, Tomas Moniz of Rad Dad, China Martens of The Future Generation

Wednesday, March 19th, 7 pm at AK Press Warehouse 674-A 23rd. St Oakland, CA:
Book reading event with China Martens, The Future Generation: A Zine-Book For Subculture Parents, Kids, Friends & Others (Atomic Books Company) and and Jessica Mills, My Mother Wears Combat Boots (AK Press). For more info contact: AK Press at 510.208.1700 or visit www.akpress.org

Thursday, March 20, 6 pm at Modern Times Books 888 Valencia Street, San Francisco
What does it mean to be a radical parent in these times?

Saturday and Sunday March 22-23 at the 13th Annual Bay Area Anarchist Book Fair County Fair Building in Golden Gate Park, Ninth Avenue and Lincoln Way, SF

Sunday March 23rd, 12:00 – 12:50 at the Anarchist Book Fair
PANEL DISCUSSION - Anarchist Parents / Building an All Ages Community of Resistance
Anarchism challenges us to create personal and social change but often provides no support for mothers, fathers, and other caretakers of children who try to do so. Let’s learn how to work together in new ways. By valuing the involvement/work of parents and caretakers, we form a more vibrant culture of resistance; and we teach the young the vision we want to see of a more equitable future by including them in our activities now. This will be a discussion between both parents and non-parents, on concrete ways child-free allies can support parents and children in their community. Good for everyone!

does your kid ride the short bus?

2008-02-14T07:50:00.000-08:00

Editors Yantra Bertelli, Jennifer Silverman and Sarah Talbot are looking for submissions for My Baby Rides the Short Bus, an upcoming anthology to be published by PM Press.

"We are seeking submissions from a diverse group of parents raising special needs kids who feel marginalized by their subculture status (economics, lifestyle, orientation, religion/atheism) and underrepresented in print.

Got tips on how to stay sane during the IEP process when you don’t believe in the system to begin with? Felt you had to hide you radical political books while the Early Intervention Folks come over? Found yourself stuck a mainstream world of special needs parenting that you don’t fit into?

Submit your stories to a upcoming anthology that features writing from parents in the know about what it's like to raise "special needs" kids -- with no sugar coating or the 'you will dream new dreams' kind of crap we're subjected to by mainstream media. Unfortunately we can’t pay, but all contributors will receive two copies of the book."

Get all the info: www.shortbusbook.blogspot.com
Deadline: May 15 shortbusbook at yahoo dot com

i am such a dork

2008-02-06T16:41:00.001-08:00

But I try to sound cool! Read the Bookslut interview here.

cease & desist!

2008-01-25T08:34:00.000-08:00

PERSONAL AND CONFIDENTIAL

Hip Mama

Re: Trademark Infringement of “Got Milk?”

Dear Sir or Madam:

We represent the California Milk Processor Board, which owns the federally-registered trademark “Got Milk?”® (Reg. Nos.1,903,870 and 2,689,741). It has come to our attention that Hip Mama is selling t-shirts and tank tops with the phrase “Got Breast Milk?” on them.

Our client has spent a great deal of time, money, and effort to develop the goodwill surrounding the “Got Milk?” trademark and corresponding marketing campaign, and does not allow anyone to use the trademark or a confusingly similar mark without its authorization. Part of the goodwill attached to our client’s trademark lies in its use of the distinctive “Phenix American” font. Over the last twelve years, the unique font and style of the “Got Milk?” trademark have attained particular value because of the trademark’s widespread popularity. Our client has not authorized Hip Mama to use the “Got Milk” trademark in any way. An evenhanded review of Hip Mama’s use of the “Got Milk?” trademark demonstrates that it is acting in total and willful disregard of our client’s intellectual property rights.

If Hip Mama has purchased these products from someone you believe is an authorized “Got Milk?” licensee, please provide me with the name and contact information of this individual. If we are able to verify that this person is licensed to sell “Got Milk?” products we will notify you of this fact and withdraw the demands presented in the balance of this letter.

A trademark is infringed by use of a word or phrase that is likely to cause confusion. In deciding whether there is a likelihood of confusion, “[s]imilarity in appearance, sound and meaning strongly support a finding of likelihood of confusion between two trademarks.” Hip Mama’s use of “Got Breast Milk?” on t-shirts and tank tops is likely to cause confusion with our client’s “Got Milk?” trademark because both statements are similar in: 1) appearance; and 2) sound.

First, the phrases “Got Breast Milk?” and “Got Milk?” are very similar in appearance and only differ slightly due to the addition of the word “Breast” to “Got Breast Milk?” Second, the two phrases sound alike.

Many courts have also “recognized that the second comer has a duty to so name and dress his product as to avoid all likelihood of consumers confusing it with the product of the first comer.” Hip Mama has done very little to ensure that consumers will not be confused as to the origin of its products that contain the phrase “Got Breast Milk?”

Accordingly, it is beyond dispute that Hip Mama’s sale of t-shirts and tank tops with the phrase “Got Breast Milk?” on them violates our client’s trademark rights.

Our client intends to vigorously defend its rights in this trademark under all applicable federal laws. Federal law provides our client with the right to bring a civil action against Hip Mama. Potential remedies include recovery of profits, monetary damages sustained by our client, statutory damages, a court order for the seizure of goods and counterfeit marks, costs of bringing the lawsuit and injunctive relief. Federal law also grants a judge discretion to award treble damages and attorney’s fees.

At our client’s discretion, they may choose to forego actual damages and profits and instead elect to receive statutory damages. The court may award between $500 and $100,000 for each counterfeit mark. Furthermore, if the court finds that your use of the counterfeit mark was willful, it may award up to $1,000,000.00 for each counterfeit mark.

In order to avoid resorting to litigation, we insist that you comply with all of the following demands:

1. Immediate cessation of all sales and marketing activity related to the “Got Breast Milk?” items, as well as any other materials that infringe our client’s “Got Milk?” trademark.

2. Ship to us, no later than February 5, 2008, all “Got Breast Milk?” items, as well as any other materials that infringe our client’s “Got Milk?” trademark. You must bear the cost of this shipment.

3. Ship to us, no later than February 5, 2008, all graphic design materials you use to manufacture all “Got Breast Milk?” items, as well as any other materials that infringe our client’s “Got Milk?” trademark. This includes, but is not limited to, all mesh design screens, lettering and computer-generated materials that you use to manufacture these products. You must bear the cost of this shipment.

4. Immediate destruction of all catalogues that contain all “Got Breast Milk?” items, as well as any other materials that infringe our client’s “Got Milk?” trademark.

5. Immediate removal of all “Got Milk?” and “Got Breast Milk?” product images, as well as any other materials that infringe our client’s “Got Milk?” trademark from all of your online catalogues and websites.

6. Provide to us, no later than February 5, 2008, an accounting of all profits that Hip Mama has made at any time from the sale of all “Got Breast Milk?” items, as well as any other materials that infringe our client’s “Got Milk?” trademark. The accounting must state: (a) the amount of revenue that you generate through the sale of all “Got Breast Milk?” items on a weekly, monthly and yearly basis; (b) the length of time the “Got Breast Milk?” product images have appeared on your website(s); and (c) the amount of both “hits” and unique visitors that your website(s) receives on a weekly, monthly and yearly basis.

In addition, once we receive the information relating to the accounting for all profits, we will insist on being paid all profits. If you are not immediately forthcoming in complying with all of our demands, we will increase our demand to cover all attorneys’ fees incurred. If we are forced to file a lawsuit, we will pursue all available remedies, including treble damages.

If you do not meet the above-referenced February 5, 2008 deadline, we will be forced to commence litigation against Hip Mama.

Very truly yours,
Lawyer, Lawyer, and Lawyer

* * *

Lawyer, Lawyer, and Lawyer:

Thank you for your letter. I'm confident that Hip Mama's T-shirts never infringed on your client's trademark. No reasonable person would be confused by the parody. However, it will comfort The California Milk Board to know that Hip Mama has not sold "Got Breast Milk" T-shirts for years, never made a profit on them, has none in stock, and has no plans to revive the line.

I hope you won't think it's rude at this point, but I'd like to recommend a book. I think both you and your client will be interested in CREATING A WORLD WITHOUT POVERTY: SOCIAL BUSINESS AND THE FUTURE OF CAPITALISM by Muhammad Yunus and Karl Weber. It's full of ideas about how to use your time, resources, and considerable talents. I'm sure you agree that there's so much to be done in this world beyond chasing down small business owners who once parodied your slogan.

Wishing you lasting joy,
Ariel Gore
Owner, Hip Mama