Chrismukkah Blog

Chrismukkah '08 - Our 5th Anniversary

2008-12-09T15:00:00.000-08:00

It's nearly Chrismukkah time again. We have our hybrid holiday, our hybrid car, our hybrid daughter, and even our new hybrid president. If only our economy would be more hybrid, everything would be alright. My publisher tells me that in June 2009 my book "Chrismukkah:Everything you need to know to celebrate the hybrid holiday", will be out in paperback. That's a good omen for a better year. In the meantime, Merry Mazeltov and Oy Joy to all.

No not again

2007-10-11T20:22:00.000-07:00

How could it be? Another year already? Oy for Joy and Holy Moses. Chrismukkah #4 is nearly here. And this one will be an early one. Hanukkah starts December 4th. Better get my hybrid act together. Maybe hire a few Chrismukkah helpers... ummm... Schmelves? Groan... can I really do this again? What's it going to take to get in the spirit of this merry mutation. Last year, at least I had the big book tour to look forward to. Lines of admiring fans. Radio interviews on NPR. Nights on the town with editors and publishers. Groupies galore. This year... what is it? Used copies of my book are selling on Amazon.com for .23 cents. Jeezus jewish mother of christ. How the mighty have fallen. We won our trademark battle, but will anyone care? With our patron saint / nemesis "The OC" having been cancelled and off the air, will anybody really care about Chrismukkah? We shall see.

Walmart Embraces Chrismukkah!

2006-12-16T11:15:00.000-08:00

Only two short years ago, the fledgling Chrismukkah.com was at the center of the season's hottest holiday controversy after William Donahue's infamous New York Catholic League shot the opening salvo in the "War on Christmas" by denouncing Chrismukkah in a series of nationally distributed press releases:

“We are deeply concerned about the spiritual misrepresentation of a newly created ‘holiday’ called Chrismukkah... Chanukah and Christmas celebrated during the same period should not be fused into some cultural combination that does not recognize the spiritual identity of our respective faiths. Copying the tradition of another faith and calling it by another name is a form of shameful plagiarism we cannot condone. Frankly, those who seek to synthesize our spiritual traditions may be well intended, but they are insulting both of us simultaneously."

Catholic League Press Release

Well, a lot's changed in two years. This season, (under pressure from the Catholic League and other fundamentalist organizations), WALMART put the Christ back into shopping. Walmart axed the too secular "Happy Holidays" as it's official greeting and replaced it with (gasp!) "Merry Christmas."

Yet, in Cyberspace it's a whole 'nother Walmart. I was pleased to learn that Walmart is selling my new mish-mash holiday book on Walmart.com, but their enthusiasm for Chrismukkah didn't stop with there. If you Google "Chrismukkah" you'll see that Walmart is now evangelizing "Chrismukkah" through an aggressive ad campaign promoting themselves as the official Chrismukkah site! Here's a cut and paste of their Google ad:

Wal-Mart Official Site
Chrismukkah
97-cent Shipping. Get Ahead!
www.walmart.com

This year, Walmart's Chrismukkah celebration seems to be under the radar of the Catholic League, who posted a McCarthyesque request that true believers turn in those who would abuse Christmas. This from their website:

"Every December sees its fair share of "Grinches," those retailers, schools, websites, towns and municipalities who refuse to acknowledge Christmas as part of the "holiday season." These Christmas kill-joys are all around.

This Christmas, the Catholic League, Father Benedict Groeschel, C.F.R. and the other Franciscan Friars of the Renewal have joined up to put the spotlight on these folks. Should you notice one of these Grinches, please let us know. You may submit the details either by faxing the Catholic League at 212-371-3394, writing to us at 450 Seventh Avenue, New York, New York 10123 or by e-mailing Catholic League

We encourage readers to let the Catholic League know of your outrage over Walmart's Chrismukkah blasphemy.

The first book review is in... and it's not so bad!

2006-12-06T23:14:00.000-08:00

Review From the Jewish Forward

A Holly Jolly Hybrid Holiday

by Daniel Treiman | Fri. Dec 08, 2006
Chrismukkah: Everything You Need To Know To Celebrate the Hybrid Holiday
By Ron Gompertz*
Stewart, Tabori & Chang, 144 pages, $17.95*

Ron Gompertz has found the solution to the December Dilemma: He punts.

Gompertz is the self-appointed pied piper of Chrismukkah, a hybrid holiday popularized three years ago by the Fox television series “The O.C.” A New York Jew transplanted to Montana (of all places) and married to the daughter of a United Church of Christ pastor, Gompertz jumped on the Chrismukkah bandwagon (to the apparent chagrin of the creator of “The O.C.”), launching the Web site Chrismukkah.com, where he sells greeting cards and various holiday-related tchotchkes.

Now he’s written a book, “Chrismukkah: Everything You Need To Know To Celebrate the Hybrid Holiday.” In 144 colorful pages, Gompertz serves up a syncretistic smorgasbord of do-it-yourself recipes (“Fa La La Latkes”), drinks (“Yule Plotz Egg Nog”) and decorations (What’s a Chrismukkah tree without “menorahments”?). Gompertz, whose sense of humor is decidedly more ham than wry, also tosses in hybridized holiday song lyrics, a list of Hollywood “half-Hebrews” and some silly stories, including one in which Mrs. Claus divorces her cheating, sleigh-riding husband and is swept off her feet by “Hanukkah Harry.”

“Chrismukkah is a celebration of diversity, a global gumbo of cherished secular traditions,” Gompertz writes. “It’s the good stuff we all enjoy, no matter what our religion: sleigh bells, eggnog, snowmen, twinkling lights, flickering candles, exchanging gifts with family and friends.”

To those who may think that Chrismukkah is nothing more than newfangled nonsense, Gompertz has a ready retort: Tradition! As it turns out, the holiday has a long history in Gompertz’s family. His mother was born in Germany, her father a Lutheran and her mother Jewish. Before Hitler’s rise to power, the family, like many other assimilated German Jews, celebrated both December holidays, a combination that was dubbed “Weihnukkah,” from Weihnachten, the German word for Christmas — in other words, Chrismukkah.

Indeed, as Gompertz notes, the winter holidays have histories of hybridity. Many traditions associated with Christmas — including the fact that it’s even celebrated in the winter — have pagan roots. Santa Claus is himself a mélange of some dozen different folkloric figures. And let’s be honest, what is Hanukkah, as celebrated today, with its eight nights of gifts, if not an effort to one-up (or seven-up, as the case may be) Christmas?

Chrismukkah is certainly fun for the kids. (Really, what kid wouldn’t like a pine tree decked with bagels?) But is it good for the Jews? And is it good for Christmas? Some clearly don’t think so. In 2004, the Catholic League for Religious and Civil Rights and the New York Board of Rabbis issued a joint statement blasting the made-up holiday for “spiritual misrepresentation.”

True, Jesus plays little more than a bit part in “Chrismukkah,” and the Maccabees aren’t much in evidence, either. But Gompertz has no hidden agenda. “As a brand-new, twenty-first-century pseudoholiday, Chrismukkah is more connected to postmodern pop-culture traditions than the ancient ones,” he writes. Those up in arms over Chrismukkah are railing at the symptom of a much larger problem: Christmas and Hanukkah are so commercialized that they already have been stripped of much of their deeper religious meaning.

Personally, having grown up in a family in which not having a Christmas tree was as central to our Jewishness as lighting the menorah, I was prepared to hate “Chrismukkah.” But it’s hard to hate a book that features pictures of dogs wearing yarmulkes, snowmen made out of matzo balls and delightfully schmaltzy jokes on almost every page — even for a grinch like me. I may not like the hybrid holiday, but I have to give credit where it’s due: Ron Gompertz has written a very merry Chrismukkah book. Ho, ho, ho — and oy, oy, oy.

Daniel Treiman is the founding editor of The Brooklynite magazine and a former associate editor at the Forward.

Happy Chrismukkah to all the Evas in the World

2006-12-06T09:40:00.000-08:00

This post is in response to Eva, who doesn't like the idea of Chrismukkah and wrote a series of comments to my last blog entry. Let this serve as a more general response to the similar critical emails we receive each year from both Christians and Jews:

Eva, thanks for your thoughtful reply.

First of all, I'd like to clear up a few things you've accused me/us of. Not that it really matters all that much, but I feel obligated to correct your incorrect assumptions. It's because of people who lack tolerance and holiday cheer that we created Chrismukkah.com in the first place. You don't know us, but you go out of your way to post to the Chrismukkah blog...apparently just to put us down. It saddens me to feel the condescension, anger and resentment in your words, and I can only wonder how your brand of Judaism brought you there.

1 - You oddly assume we are raising our daughter as a Christian, and to celebrate Christmas. Where did you get that from? It's actually the opposite. Michelle and I together decided a few years ago to raise our daughter as a Jew. Our daughter was named in honor of my maternal grandmother, the German-Jewish daughter of pre-Israel Zionists, a woman who married the handsome Lutheran boy next door, only a few years before the Holocaust began. I am on the board of directors of our community temple. I am a proud Jew. I went to Hebrew school, was Bar Mitzvah'd and am very involved in our small Jewish community here in Bozeman. Our rabbi instructed us that Reform Judaism considers one who is raised as a Jew, with Jewish traditions, is indeed a Jew, even if the mother isn't. I know that may not go down well with Conservative Jewish beliefs, but that is what we chose to do.

2 - Yes, I could use a spell checker. Clearly, spelling is not my forte... but I just type, without worrying too much about spelling, typos and grammar. It's just a blog. One I can't imagine many people are interested in reading. It doesn't help that I code in raw HTML, without benefit of a spell checker. And, obviously, I don't have an editor on staff here at Chrismukkah.com.

3- Believe it or not, we have not profited from Chrismukkah. The niche appeal of the site pretty much guarantees we never will. Chrismukkah is a labor of love, a project of the heart. Over the past 3 years, it's been a sort of "mitzvah", as my rabbi calls it. I don't mean to bitch, but you brought it up. Since founding the site 3 years ago, it's cost considerably more to operate the Chrismukkah venture than we receive in sales and royalties combined. While I certainly wouldn't oppose being compensated for the thousands of hours it's taken to build and maintain the website, write and photograph content for the two books, and answer the dozens of emails we receive each day, making a profit from Chrismukkah.com has never been a priority. This is a volunteer project... we receive no compensation.

Why do we do this then? It's a form of social activism, I suppose. Ego motivates me too, no doubt. It's nice to get fan mail, and for every negative comment like yours, there are 10 positive comments. Frankly, it's fun to challenge the status quo and question tradition. Chrismukkah has gotten people talking, allowing expression of diverse opinion, and it's helped bring Jewish intermarriage issues to mainstream cultural awareness. Michelle and I launched the site to express the views of our "real" interfaith family, rather than allowing a fabricated Fox TV family to represent us. While we are typical, in the sense that (until Chrismukkah) we never had a political or theological agenda, we certainly don't believe we represent the beliefs of all interfaith couples. That said, it has been a nice surprise to find how many others share our beliefs and values. We've found that celebrating both December holidays... not literally merging them... but celebrating both, rather than excluding one or the other, we manage to keep peace and harmony within our family. Our family celebrates Hanukkah as most American Jews do - with menorah lighting, latke frying, dreidel spinning, and gift exchanges on each of the 8 nights. We also have a Christmas tree in our living room, in the opposite corner of course, and my wife cherishes the ritual of decorating the tree. I've heard from many Jews who say they refuse to allow their spouse to bring a Christmas tree into the house... that having a tree disrespects their Judaism. I don't believe that's a very good way to make a marriage work.

4 - Agreed. Hanukkah is not an important Jewish holiday... at least it's not relative to the more religious Jewish holidays. Hanukkah commemorates Jewish oppression and the ongoing struggle for religious freedom. But it's not a particularly religious holiday, making it more acceptable to make light of.

5- My family celebrates Hanukkah and Christmas independently. Then we also have our pretend shared family holiday of Chrismukkah. Chrismukkah allows us to enjoy what we have in common, instead of accentuating what makes us different.

6- Not all Jews live in Jewish safe havens like New York. Try living or traveling elsewhere to learn how a broader cross-section of Jews think and feel.

7 - Christmas is not just about Christ. It may well be for religious Christians, but for the rest of us, who, despite not believing in Christ, still can enjoy going to the Nutcracker Suite ballet, holiday music, holiday movies, the lights and decorations downtown, the store windows, and the other festive secular rituals of the season. Not to mention that long ago, our government decided to make Christmas a Federal holiday... just like Thanksgiving, Fourth of July, and MLK Day.

My Lord and Taylor

2006-11-20T18:59:00.000-08:00

OK, that was fun. I'm just back from the Chrismukkah promotion trip to New York where I did a series of book signing events at Lord and Taylor. While there, I also did a few interviews, including one inside the hallowed halls of New York's NPR studios. I had lunch with my editor Ann and publicist Claire, walked the streets in a downpour chewing on a folded slice of Rays pizza (orange grease dripping down my wrist) and munched on poppy seed bagels from H&H (it's the water). I slurped awesome hot and sour soup after midnight, got to ride around in big black limos, order room service, sipped glasses of Pinot Noir at the lobby bar, met lots of really cool people, and autographed several hundred books. All of it, ALL expenses paid. It was such an ego trip. And at some point, I realized how much I do miss New York. I wished Minna and Michelle were with me. In-between scheduled events, I prowled the streets of Manhattan... an activity that just isn't as compelling here in Bozeman. It's holiday season in New York City, the streets illed with garlands and green, bell ringing Santas, animated victorian window displays on 5th Avenue, Herald Square grid-locked with busy shoppers and workers readying Macy's for the big parade this Thursday. The empire state building all lit up for the holidays. Now, back home, it's back to a slower routine. I brought the Chrismukkah store orders over to Wanda at the fullfillment service, spent the rest of the day at Eco Auto, catching up on phone messages, posting updates to the website and talking "green car" politics with the people who wandered in. I bought a DVD of "Who Killed the Electric Car" and screened it for anyone who wanted to watch. It's a film that must be seen... it would make an excellent double feature with "An Inconvenient Truth." I don't know what to expect this year. It's still early. I'm very focused on getting the word out about my zero emmissions electric cars, and not so much on Chrismukkah. I'm sure that will change after turkey day. Walmart made the news last week. Apparently, they've caved under pressure and will be wishing shoppers a "Merry Christmas." Forward into the past.

Wakeup Call

2006-11-03T04:33:00.000-08:00

It was my birthday yesteday. Worked during the day at Eco Auto (my new "green car" venture) and then had a really great dinner at home... my favorite: Hungarian Goolash over wide egg noodles - with Michelle, Minna and my Mom. This morning, the alarm chirped at 5 AM to signal the official start of the 2006 Chrismukkah season. A week before election day, it's hard to get into the mood, but in a few minutes I'm scheduled to do my first drive-time radio interview of the year. It's with Brian Freeman, a news guy at the Fox station in Miami - WIOD / News Radio 610. I'm a little rusty... haven't talked about Chrismukkah since last December. This strong cup of coffee should help. Minna just woke up early and barely glanced at me as she padded past me typing away here, heading to Mommies and Daddy's room for the early morning snuggle routine. Next week - book signings in New York. Over and out

Chrismukkah Sells Out!

2006-10-08T19:05:00.000-07:00

Soon after receiving my first fan mail of the season (see last post), my publisher (Stewart Tabori and Chang) called to tell me my new book (Chrismukkah: Everything You Need to Know to Celebrate the Hybrid Holiday) sold out it's first print run only 4 days after being released. Oy! Yo! Yooy! What this means, I'm not really sure. Is Gersh Kuntzman punking me? Is the New York Catholic League hording copies for holiday giftgiving? Could this be some kind of evil plot by the woman who sent that last email?

Chrismukkah 2006 - "I spit on you and your whole marketing scheme"

2006-10-08T18:34:00.000-07:00

Well, it's another Chrismukkah. Who would believe it? I wouldn't have, except I was visited by the scary ghosts of Chrismukkah past in the form of my first "fan mail" of the season. By Chrismukkah 2005, the controversy had pretty much died down as Chrismukkah seemed to receive mainstream acceptance. But now, with my new book (Chrismukkah: Everything You Need to Know to Celebrate the Hybrid Holiday) arriving in stores, there seems to be a fresh audience of narrow-minded folks being exposed to Chrismukkah for the first time. Take this cheery good tidings of an email: "Dear Mr. Gompertz, You think you're doing such a noble thing. After all, there are all those poor interfaith families with nothing to hold on to! You should be ashamed of yourself making money on trying to reduce the already shrinking jewish population. I picked up your book at Borders and felt sick. There is NO correlation between Christmas and Chanukah. There is no way one who knows anything about the two religions could ever rationalize such a thing. One is Jesus as the Messiah (whom, you might remember, we as Jews do not recognize) and there is the Historical holiday of the Maccabeans. What you are doing is justifiying a jewish man's choice to marry out of his religion and allow a shiksa to raise her children that way. To tell you the truth, you should be shot. Your ancestors would be ashamed of you. I spit on you and your whole marketing scheme. I hope your ill-gotten money comes to no good for you." Oy. L'shona tova to you too.

Chrismukkah Eve

2005-12-24T20:16:00.000-08:00

Michelle and I just got back from our Chrismukkah evening... Chinese food and church. Michelle was feeling blue. In years past, we'd visit her family in Indiana for Christmas... but this year, for the first time in many, we didn't make it. Michelle felt strongly that her new business needed to stay open this busy week. Michelle hoped for a last minute buying surge. It's been a tough first year for her ceramics studio and gallery. Retail is new to Michelle... and selling doesn't come naturally to her. Meanwhile, I too was very busy shipping out Chrismukkah orders right up until noon today. After a few changes of mind, Michelle decided she did want to attend the evening candle lighting service at the nearby UCC Church, the denomination she was raised in. We all put on our nice clothing and headed out to dinner. Chinese food on Christmas Eve, even if only mediocre Montana Chinese food, is such a familiar ritual for me and it put me in the right frame of mind for the evening. After dinner,we headed over to Pilgrim Congregational Church, which Minna knows from attending "Kindermusik" each week. Michelle enjoyed the service, and I enjoyed her enjoying it, but feeling a bit like a die-hard Yankees fan attending a Red Sox game. We live in a subdivision here in Bozeman and there is a neighborhood tradition each Christmas Eve of putting luminaries out in front of each house. The idea is to get the whole neighborhood to participate in the big light show. I'm generally reluctant to participate in such wholesome organized behavior, but this being our first year living here, and not wanting to alienate all the neighbors, I begrudgingly complied... but with one modification. I put out 9 luminary bags and then piled up a foot tall mound of snow and placed the center bag on it. I'm pretty sure our neighbors didn't notice... but my little act of resistance to conformity and assimilation seemed like the perfect pre-Hanukkah symbol for this evening. Now it's time to start wrapping the presents in preparation for tomorrow "double header." All in all it turned out to be the perfect Chrismukkah Eve... a nice balance for our multifaith home.

3 Days To Chrismukkah

2005-12-22T14:54:00.000-08:00

Wow. That was a wild rush. Since my last post on December 14th, life has been tetering on the brink of insanity. Yes, it's Chrismukkah time here at Chrismukkah ground zero. I've just returned from the daily drop to Fed Ex Kinkos and the post office... both of which were nearly deserted. Even the procrastinators know it's too late now. Bozeman is a college town and about half our population has cleared out for the week. Parking spaces are once again abundant and 2 feet of snow has turned to slush. Last Friday, Michelle and I flew to New York for the weekend at the invitation of The Today Show. Minna stayed at home with Nana. A transit strike was threatened for Friday, but thankfully, the union postponed that for a few days. Even so, things started out a little rocky when we arrived at LaGuardia to find that Northwest Airlines had misplaced our luggage somewhere between Minneapolis and New York. Even so, It was first class all the way. Limo pickup at the airport, check into the grand old Essex House Hotel on Central Park South, told the bell captain to expect our luggage, and then cab downtown for a meeting with a big publishing house intereted in doing my cookbook. After the meeting, we had a perfect Chinese meal at a noodle house in the village. Living in Montana, decent Chinese is something I miss more than anything else. We called the hotel to see if our bags had shown up (they hadn't) and then walked over to Saks Fifth Ave to buy new outfits to wear the next day. Did you know that the entry level for a sweater at Saks is $400... cashmere of course. With shoppings bags full and charge accounts near their limit, we headed back uptown to the Essex House to meet publicist Edna K for Absolute and tonics. Our lost bags finally arrived around midnight and we went to sleep relieved and relaxed. Our early morning call came too soon and we rushed down to the lobby and caught the limo down to Studio 1A. They ushered into make-up and then to the Green Room. There we waited for nearly 3 hours while they finished up the live broadcast and then set up to pre-record the Christmas day episode we were there for. All the other guests preceeded us... the "gift returns lady", the Brian Setzer Orchestra, the Mens and Boys Christmas Choir. Between each guest, the union crew took a 1/2 hour break. By the time Michelle and I to hit the soundstage, we were distracted, jittery from too much coffee and unfocused. Campbell Brown did the interview. I don't remember much of it. I don't normally get nervous in such situations, and I've done my fare share of on-camera interviews, but there's just something about The Today Show and having 3 huge NBC cameras sticking in your face. You may watch our "deer in headlights" performance this Sunday (12/25) morning. That is if we don't end up on the cutting room floor. After the taping, we were literally whisked out of the studio and into a crowd of "stage door" groupies. Some whacked out guy thrust a pad of paper and pen at us wanting an autograph. "Actress?" he said to Michelle. We jumped into the waiting limo and cruised back up to the Essex House. After changing clothes and checking out we made our way back down to Saks to return our outfits. Then we went in search of lunch, ending up at the far less popular "overflow" deli across the street from the tourist packed Carnegie Deli (the wait line was down the block.) After downing 5 inch thick hot pastrami sandwiches, we spent the remainder of the afternoon exploring the newly renovated Museum of Modern Art. Feet aching and eyes spinning, we met up with Neil, my old buddy from Jersey, for a quick cup of coffee at Starbucks on 57th. Neil headed down into the subway while Michelle and I cabbed down to Grand Central to catch the 5 PM to White Plains. Cousin Mark picked us up at the station and we had dinner at a fancy-schmancy restaurant in Scarsdale. The next morning Michael J. came over for a brunch of fresh bagels and lox. Another thing I really miss about New York. Before we had a chance to finish our second cup of coffee it was time to go. The car service honked and off we drove to LaGuardia. We checked in and happily allowed ourselves to be bumped up to first class. We spent the 6 hour flight drinking wine and reading the Sunday Times. When we landed in Bozeman, the temperature was 16 below. Back to reality I thought as I scraped the accumulated ice from the windshield. Monday morning was catch up day. We got the orders that had arrived in over the weekend out by mid afternoon. The rest of the week was spent balancing the phone interviews with packing and shipping. By the end of the week, It felt like I had spoken with the nearly every newspaper reporter in the country. Now it's feels like things are finally winding down. The orders are all out. The phone is no longer ringing off the hook. Only one more radio talk show to go. I'm really looking forward to Sunday... a day I understand is some kind of holiday.

11 Days to Chrismukkah

2005-12-14T21:19:00.000-08:00

It's 10PM and I just got the last order of the day packed. Time for a glass of wine and tonights Daily Show. Did I say things were starting to wind down? Never mind. Today we had our busiest day of the year. We shipped well over 100 books and nearly a thousands cards. As 4 PM approached, in a panic, I called my mother out of her daily bridge game at the senior center so she could look after Minna while Michelle and I packed orders. Michelle saved the day, making it to both the post office and the airport Fed Ex drop off with seconds to spare before cutoff. Meanwhile, I took calls from so many reporters that my voice is nearly gone. Minna has been getting cranky... we're sure she's feeling our stress. We just keep reminding ourselves this is what we've wanted and that soon this will be behind us, and The surge in activity apparently was the result of a thing they did on us on some Boston TV show, and a story that hit the wire service on Associated Press. Frankly, I haven't seem any of this, but the phone was ringing off the hook, mostly from customers who didn't own computers or couldn't load our Flash site, and wanted to order the cookbook the old fashioned way. We leave for NYC Friday morning and tomorrow is our last day of shipping before Monday. Michelle still has hopes of finding the time to go shopping for a new outfit to wear on the show. I'm hoping we have some time after we're done with at taping to go ice skating at the Rockefeller Center rink. It's fun to be a tourist in NYC, even if you grew up there.

12 Days to Chrismukkah

2005-12-13T21:45:00.000-08:00

Card sales seem to be winding down just as the so called "War on Christmas" is heating up. Somehow, even my silly little cookbook has been dragged into the fight. Nonetheless, or perhaps because of, it's selling like hot potato latkes. Food is the great cultural unifier... a demiliterized zone for the holiday. Today someone heard talk about us on our local NPR station. I got calls that we were the subject of the day this morning on a radio station in the Boston area. Google the word Chrismukkah and it seems to be everywhere. But who cares about the news when there's more important things to watch on TV! The other night, Chrismukkah was mentioned twice on Grey's Anatomy. This Thursday, the heavily hyped "Chrismukkah Bar Mitzahkah episode airs on the O.C. Then, Bravo's "100 Great Things About the Holidays" continues to be repeated with Chrismukkah in position #89. Finally, Michelle and I have been invited to be guests on "The Today Show" for their holiday special airing 12/25. I'm not sure what we'll be doing or what they'll be asking us, but we're excited about having the opportunity to fly to NYC all expense paid. In just another couple of weeks, we'll be back in holiday hibernations mode once again. Anyway, no time to blog when there's books waiting to be packed and shipped.

This Season's War Cry: Commercialize Christmas, or Else

2005-12-03T21:57:00.000-08:00

By ADAM COHEN Religious conservatives have a cause this holiday season: the commercialization of Christmas. They're for it. The American Family Association is leading a boycott of Target for not using the words "Merry Christmas" in its advertising. (Target denies it has an anti-Merry-Christmas policy.) The Catholic League boycotted Wal-Mart in part over the way its Web site treated searches for "Christmas." Bill O'Reilly, the Fox anchor who last year started a "Christmas Under Siege" campaign, has a chart on his Web site of stores that use the phrase "Happy Holidays," along with a poll that asks, "Will you shop at stores that do not say 'Merry Christmas'?" This campaign - which is being hyped on Fox and conservative talk radio - is an odd one. Christmas remains ubiquitous, and with its celebrators in control of the White House, Congress, the Supreme Court and every state supreme court and legislature, it hardly lacks for powerful supporters. There is also something perverse, when Christians are being jailed for discussing the Bible in Saudi Arabia and slaughtered in Sudan, about spending so much energy on stores that sell "holiday trees." What is less obvious, though, is that Christmas's self-proclaimed defenders are rewriting the holiday's history. They claim that the "traditional" American Christmas is under attack by what John Gibson, another Fox anchor, calls "professional atheists" and "Christian haters." But America has a complicated history with Christmas, going back to the Puritans, who despised it. What the boycotters are doing is not defending America's Christmas traditions, but creating a new version of the holiday that fits a political agenda. The Puritans considered Christmas un-Christian, and hoped to keep it out of America. They could not find Dec. 25 in the Bible, their sole source of religious guidance, and insisted that the date derived from Saturnalia, the Roman heathens' wintertime celebration. On their first Dec. 25 in the New World, in 1620, the Puritans worked on building projects and ostentatiously ignored the holiday. From 1659 to 1681 Massachusetts went further, making celebrating Christmas "by forbearing of labor, feasting or in any other way" a crime. The concern that Christmas distracted from religious piety continued even after Puritanism waned. In 1827, an Episcopal bishop lamented that the Devil had stolen Christmas "and converted it into a day of worldly festivity, shooting and swearing." Throughout the 1800's, many religious leaders were still trying to hold the line. As late as 1855, New York newspapers reported that Presbyterian, Baptist and Methodist churches were closed on Dec. 25 because "they do not accept the day as a Holy One." On the eve of the Civil War, Christmas was recognized in just 18 states. Christmas gained popularity when it was transformed into a domestic celebration, after the publication of Clement Clarke Moore's "Visit from St. Nicholas" and Thomas Nast's Harper's Weekly drawings, which created the image of a white-bearded Santa who gave gifts to children. The new emphasis lessened religious leaders' worries that the holiday would be given over to drinking and swearing, but it introduced another concern: commercialism. By the 1920's, the retail industry had adopted Christmas as its own, sponsoring annual ceremonies to kick off the "Christmas shopping season." Religious leaders objected strongly. The Christmas that emerged had an inherent tension: merchants tried to make it about buying, while clergymen tried to keep commerce out. A 1931 Times roundup of Christmas sermons reported a common theme: "the suggestion that Christmas could not survive if Christ were thrust into the background by materialism." A 1953 Methodist sermon broadcast on NBC - typical of countless such sermons - lamented that Christmas had become a "profit-seeking period." This ethic found popular expression in "A Charlie Brown Christmas." In the 1965 TV special, Charlie Brown ignores Lucy's advice to "get the biggest aluminum tree you can find" and her assertion that Christmas is "a big commercial racket," and finds a more spiritual way to observe the day. This year's Christmas "defenders" are not just tolerating commercialization - they're insisting on it. They are also rewriting Christmas history on another key point: non-Christians' objection to having the holiday forced on them. The campaign's leaders insist this is a new phenomenon - a "liberal plot," in Mr. Gibson's words. But as early as 1906, the Committee on Elementary Schools in New York City urged that Christmas hymns be banned from the classroom, after a boycott by more than 20,000 Jewish students. In 1946, the Rabbinical Assembly of America declared that calling on Jewish children to sing Christmas carols was "an infringement on their rights as Americans." Other non-Christians have long expressed similar concerns. For decades, companies have replaced "Christmas parties" with "holiday parties," schools have adopted "winter breaks" instead of "Christmas breaks," and TV stations and stores have used phrases like "Happy Holidays" and "Season's Greetings" out of respect for the nation's religious diversity. The Christmas that Mr. O'Reilly and his allies are promoting - one closely aligned with retailers, with a smack-down attitude toward nonobservers - fits with their campaign to make America more like a theocracy, with Christian displays on public property and Christian prayer in public schools. It does not, however, appear to be catching on with the public. That may be because most Americans do not recognize this commercialized, mean-spirited Christmas as their own. Of course, it's not even clear the campaign's leaders really believe in it. Just a few days ago, Fox News's online store was promoting its "Holiday Collection" for shoppers. Among the items offered to put under a "holiday tree" was "The O'Reilly Factor Holiday Ornament." After bloggers pointed this out, Fox changed the "holidays" to "Christmases." Copyright 2005 The New York Times Company

We love Richard Branson

2005-12-02T18:45:00.000-08:00

Imitation being the most sincere form of flattery, we're extra flattered by Richard Branson's Virgin cell phone ad and his new chrismahanukwanzakah web site. Now in it's second season, Virgin has come up with a truly funny chrismahanukwanzakah promotion. http://www.chrismahanukwanzakah.com Mazeltov Richard and Merry Chrismahanukwanzakah to you Virgins!

Bravo - Great Things About the Holidays

2005-12-02T09:07:00.000-08:00

Chrismukkah is #89 on Bravo TV's snarky show 100 Great Things About the Holidays. Ahead of He'Brew Beer even! Our icon - the raindeer with menorah is being featured today on their web site! http://www.bravotv.com/Events_&_Specials/ Cool yule!

IFF's 2005 December Dilemma Survey

2005-11-30T07:47:00.000-08:00

The results of the latest survey from www.InterfaithFamily.com (a non-profit publisher and advocacy membership association that works to encourage Jewish choices by interfaith families) was released today. IFF makes no secret that their "agenda" is to promote the "Jewish" choice for Interfaith families They're not exactly a subjective academic research group. Nonetheless, each year, IFF promotes the results of it's survey, a survey conducted via email to it's own subscriber list (a self-defined group particularly interested in the subject of promoting Jewish choices for interfaith familes). This years edition of the survey focuses on Chrismukkah. Interestingly, prior to last holiday, only a few people knew what Chrismukkah was. Yet the IFF survey reports that this year, 57% of participants know about Chrismukkah. That's pretty darn amazing to us. IFF writes “Because of Chrismukkah and because the holidays fall on the same day, there has been increased concern about the blending of religious traditions known as religious ‘syncretism,’ but the 2005 December Dilemma Survey found that’s not happening, at levels consistent with last year’s survey,” This is good since we've gone through great pains trying to clearly explain that Chrismukkah is not about religion. It's about sharing the holidays together under one roof. Interestingly, 71% of Jewish interfaith responders have Christmas trees in their homes and lit the menorah. Many survey respondents wrote that celebrating Christmas actually strengthened their children’s Jewish identity. By our defintion of Chrismukkah - these 71% are clearly celebrating Chrismukkah. Yet, in contrast with their holiday behavior, the survey reported only 6% of partricipants thought Chrismukkah was a "good" idea, and 78% thought it was a "bad" idea (because of the usual fear - different backgrounds, meanings and significance of the two holidays are lost when combined and because blending them is confusing to children). That's not surprising considering the self-selected, highly filtered audience responding to the survey, and the way in which the questions were written. A few months ago, IFF asked me to write a pro Chrismukkah "rebuttal" editorial for their December issue. We look forward to receiveing our copy of the new issue.

Million Dollar Home Page?

2005-11-25T16:02:00.000-08:00

Shortly after reading about the success of Alex Tew and his www.milliondollarhomepage.com website in the Wall Street Journal, I got so excited that I nearly placed an ad with him. After all, it would be nice to get several thousand new visitors to Chrismukkah.com each day, as reported in the WSJ. Then, just as I was about to send him $700 via PayPal for a teeny-tiny 700 pixel Chrismukkah ad, I regained my sanity as I realized this would be a dumb idea and a waste of money. I'd probably get more new customers buying an acre of the moon (www.lunarregistry.com) and opening the first lunar Chrismukkah card kiosk. Pet Moon Rocks anyone? I suppose it's only a matter of time before someone registers www.MillionDollarChrismukkahOnTheMoon.com

Chrismukkah now playing at the Jewish Museum in Berlin

2005-11-23T08:13:00.000-08:00

Just found out that the Jewish Museum of Berlin (designed by noted modernist architect Daniel Libeskind) is currently presenting an exhibition called "Chrismukkah: Stories of Christmas and Hanukkah."

This quote from the museum's web site:

"A Christmas celebration with a tree, songs, and gifts became a symbol of being a part of German culture for many middle-class Jewish families in the 19th century. Jews celebrated Christmas as a secular "festival of the world around us" without religious meaning, or they transferred Christmas customs to the Hanukkah festival. This mixture was and is referred to as "Chrismukkah." Those who would like to know more about the "December dilemma" which many Jews face each year will find this in the last room of the exhibition."

Wow. So it turns out Chrismukkah actually originated with my German-Jewish ancestors... at least 100 BOC (100 years before "the OC"). The publicists at Fox will plotz! Just yesterday I read yet another apparently erronious story in the paper about how the word Chrismukkah was coined by Josh Schwartz and the OC scriptwriters.

Here We Go.

2005-11-21T22:33:00.000-08:00

Finally, it's Chrismukkah time again.

The new cookbook has been selling like latkes. Orders have been arriving at such a pace that we're in the warehouse shipping so late that we've been missing Jon Stewart's "The Daily Show." Thanks god for Tivo.

Talk about TV.... "TV Guide Magazine" 11/21-28 did a Chrismukkah story this week and we got a plug. Following the media blitz of 2004, I wasn't sure if anyone would even care about us this year. However, 6 or 7 reporters called my cell phone this week, making me feel all warm and fuzzy. The most unexpected call was from a reporter with the Jewish press in Los Angeles.

Bill Moyers: 9/11 and the Sport of God

2005-11-20T10:25:00.000-08:00

Must reading if you haven't already.

9/11 And The Sport of God by Bill Moyers

This article is adapted from Bill Moyer's address this week at Union Theological Seminary in New York, where Judith and Bill Moyers received the seminary's highest award, the Union Medal, for their contributions to faith and reason in America.

"At the Central Baptist Church in Marshall, Texas, where I was baptized in the faith, we believed in a free church in a free state. I still do.

My spiritual forbears did not take kindly to living under theocrats who embraced religious liberty for themselves but denied it to others. "Forced worship stinks in God's nostrils," thundered the dissenter Roger Williams as he was banished from Massachusetts for denying Puritan authority over his conscience. Baptists there were a "pitiful negligible minority" but they were agitators for freedom and therefore denounced as "incendiaries of the commonwealth" for holding to their belief in that great democracy of faith - the priesthood of all believers. For refusing to pay tribute to the state religion they were fined, flogged, and exiled. In 1651 the Baptist Obadiah Holmes was given 30 stripes with a three-corded whip after he violated the law and took forbidden communion with another Baptist in Lynn, Massachusetts. His friends offered to pay his fine for his release but he refused. They offered him strong drink to anesthetize the pain of the flogging. Again he refused. It is the love of liberty, he said, "that must free the soul."

Such revolutionary ideas made the new nation with its Constitution and Bill of Rights "a haven for the cause of conscience." No longer could magistrates order citizens to support churches they did not attend and recite creeds that they did not believe. No longer would "the loathsome combination of church and state" - as Thomas Jefferson described it - be the settled order. Unlike the Old World that had been wracked with religious wars and persecution, the government of America would take no sides in the religious free-for-all that liberty would make possible and politics would make inevitable. The First Amendment neither inculcates religion nor inoculates against it. Americans could be loyal to the Constitution without being hostile to God, or they could pay no heed to God without fear of being mugged by an official God Squad. It has been a remarkable arrangement that guaranteed "soul freedom."

It is at risk now, and the fourth observance of the terrorist attacks of 9/11 is an appropriate time to think about it.

Four years ago this week, the poet's prophetic metaphor became real again and "the great dark birds of history" plunged into our lives.

They came in the name of God. They came bent on murder and martyrdom. It was as if they rode to earth on the fierce breath of Allah himself, for the sacred scriptures that had nurtured these murderous young men are steeped in images of a violent and vengeful God who wills life for the faithful and horrific torment for unbelievers.

Yes, the Koran speaks of mercy and compassion and calls for ethical living. But such passages are no match for the ferocity of instruction found there for waging war for God's sake. The scholar Jack Nelson-Pallmeyer carefully traces this trail of holy violence in his important book, Is Religion Killing Us? [Trinity Press International. 2003]. He highlights many of the verses in the Koran that the Islamic terrorists could have had in their hearts and on their lips four years ago as they moved toward their gruesome rendezvous. As I read some of them, close your eyes and recall the scenes of that bright September morning which began in the bright sun under a blue sky:

"Those who believe Fight in the cause of Allah, and Those who reject Faith Fight in the cause of Evil."(4:76)

"So We sent against them A furious Wind through days of disaster, that
We might Give them a taste of a Penalty of humiliation In this Life; but
The Penalty of the Hereafter will be More Humiliating still: And they
Will find No help." (41:16)

"Then watch thou For the Day That the sky will Bring forth a kind Of smoke (or mist) Plainly visible, Enveloping the people: This will be a Penalty
Grievous." (44:10-11)
"Did the people of the towns Feel Secure against the coming Of Our
Wrath by night While they were asleep? Or else did they feel
Secure against its coming in Broad daylight while they Played
About (carefree)? Did they then feel secure Against the Plan of
Allah? - But no one can feel Secure from the Plan of Allah,
except those (Doomed) to ruin." (7:97-99)

So the holy warriors came - an airborne death cult, their sights on God's enemies: regular folks, starting the day's routine. One minute they're pulling off their jackets, shaking Sweet n' Low into their coffee, adjusting the height of their chair or a picture of a child or sweetheart or spouse in a frame on their desk, booting up their computer - and in the next, they are engulfed by a horrendous cataclysm. God's will. Poof!

But it is never only the number of dead by which terrorists measure their work. It is also the number of the living - the survivors - taken hostage to fear. Their mission was to invade our psyche; get inside our heads - deprive us of trust, faith, and peace of mind: keep us from ever again believing in a safe, just, and peaceful world, and from working to bring that world to pass. The writer Terry Tempest Williams has said "the human heart is the first home of democracy." Fill that heart with fear and people will give up the risks of democracy for the assurances of security; fill that heart with fear and you can shake the house to its foundations.

In the days leading up to 9/11 our daughter and husband adopted their first baby. On the morning of September 11th our son-in-law passed through the shadow of the World Trade Center toward his office a few blocks up the street. He arrived as the horrors erupted. He saw the flames, the falling bodies, the devastation. His building was evacuated and for long awful moments he couldn't reach his wife, our daughter, to say he was okay. Even after they connected it wasn't until the next morning that he was able to make it home. Throughout that fearful night our daughter was alone with their new baby. Later she told us that for weeks thereafter she would lie awake at night, wondering where and when it might happen again, going to the computer at three in the morning to check out what she could about bioterrorism, germ warfare, anthrax and the vulnerability of children. The terrorists had violated a mother's deepest space.

Who was not vulnerable? That morning Judith and I made it to our office at Channel Thirteen on West 33rd Street just after the second plane struck. Our building was evacuated although the two of us remained with other colleagues to do what we could to keep the station on the air. The next day it was evacuated again because of a bomb scare at the Empire State Building nearby. We had just ended a live broadcast for PBS when security officers swept through and ordered everyone out. This time we left. As we were making our way down the stairs I took Judith's arm and was struck by the thought: Is this the last time I'll touch her? Could what we had begun together a half century ago end here on this dim, bare staircase? I forced the thought from my mind, willed it away, but in the early hours of morning, as I sat at the window of our apartment looking out at the sky, the sinister intruder crept back.

Terrorists plant time bombs in our heads, hoping to turn each and every imagination into a private hell governed by our fear of them.

They win only if we let them, only if we become like them: vengeful, imperious, intolerant, paranoid. Having lost faith in all else, zealots have nothing left but a holy cause to please a warrior God. They win if we become holy warriors, too; if we kill the innocent as they do; strike first at those who had not struck us; allow our leaders to use the fear of terrorism to make us afraid of the truth; cease to think and reason together, allowing others to tell what's in God's mind. Yes, we are vulnerable to terrorists, but only a shaken faith in ourselves can do us in.

So over the past four years I have kept reminding myself of not only the horror but the humanity that was revealed that day four years ago, when through the smoke and fire we glimpsed the heroism, compassion, and sacrifice of people who did the best of things in the worst of times. I keep telling myself that this beauty in us is real, that it makes life worthwhile and democracy work and that no terrorist can take it from us.

But I am not so sure. As a Christian realist I honor my inner skeptic. And as a journalist I always know the other side of the story. The historian Edward Gibbon once wrote of historians what could be said of journalists. He wrote: "The theologians may indulge the pleasing task of describing religion as she descended from Heaven, arrayed in her native purity. A more melancholy duty is imposed on the historian [read: journalist] He must discover the inevitable mixture of error and corruption which she contracted in a long residence upon earth, among a weak and degenerate race of beings."

The other side of the story:

Muslims have no monopoly on holy violence. As Jack Nelson-Pallmayer points out, God's violence in the sacred texts of both faiths reflect a deep and troubling pathology "so pervasive, vindictive, and destructive" that it contradicts and subverts the collective weight of other passages that exhort ethical behavior or testify to a loving God.

For days now we have watched those heart-breaking scenes on the Gulf Coast: the steaming, stinking, sweltering wreckage of cities and suburbs; the fleeing refugees; the floating corpses, hungry babies, and old people huddled together in death, the dogs gnawing at their feet; stranded children standing in water reeking of feces and garbage; families scattered; a mother holding her small child and an empty water jug, pleading for someone to fill it; a wife, pushing the body of her dead husband on a wooden plank down a flooded street; desperate people struggling desperately to survive.

Now transport those current scenes from our newspapers and television back to the first Book of the Bible - the Book of Genesis. They bring to life what we rarely imagine so graphically when we read of the great flood that devastated the known world. If you read the Bible as literally true, as fundamentalists do, this flood was ordered by God. "And God said to Noah, 'I have determined to make an end of all flesh... behold, I will destroy them with the earth." (6:5-13). "I will bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh in which is the breath of life from under heaven; everything that is on the earth shall die." (6:17-19) Noah and his family are the only humans spared - they were, after all, God's chosen. But for everyone else: "... the waters prevailed so mightily... that all the high mountains....were covered....And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, birds, cattle, beasts...and every man; everything on the dry land in whose nostrils was the breath of life, died...." (7:17-23).

The flood is merely Act One. Read on: This God first "hardens the heart of Pharaoh" to make sure the Egyptian ruler will not be moved by the plea of Moses to let his people go. Then because Pharaoh's heart is hardened, God turns the Nile into blood so people cannot drink its water and will suffer from thirst. Not satisfied with the results, God sends swarms of locusts and flies to torture them; rains hail and fire and thunder on them destroys the trees and plants of the field until nothing green remains; orders every first-born child to be slaughtered, from the first-born of Pharaoh right on down to "the first-born of the maidservant behind the mill." An equal-murderous God, you might say. The massacre continues until "there is not a house where one was not dead." While the Egyptian families mourn their dead, God orders Moses to loot from their houses all their gold and silver and clothing. Finally, God's thirst for blood is satisfied, God pauses to rest - and boasts: "I have made sport of the Egyptians."

Violence: the sport of God. God, the progenitor of shock and awe.

And that's just Act II. As the story unfolds women and children are hacked to death on God's order; unborn infants are ripped from their mother's wombs; cities are leveled - their women killed if they have had sex, the virgins taken at God's command for the pleasure of his holy warriors. When his holy warriors spare the lives of 50,000 captives God is furious and sends Moses back to rebuke them and tell them to finish the job. One tribe after another falls to God-ordered genocide: the Hittites, the Girgashites, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites - names so ancient they have disappeared into the mists as fathers and mothers and brothers and sisters, grandparents and grandchildren, infants in arms, shepherds, threshers, carpenters, merchants, housewives - living human beings, flesh and blood: "And when the Lord your God gives them over to you, and you defeat them; then you must utterly destroy them; you shall make no covenant with them, and show no mercy to them...(and) your eyes shall not pity them."

So it is written - in the Holy Bible.

Yes, I know: the early church fathers, trying to cover up the blood-soaked trail of God's sport, decreed that anything that disagrees with Christian dogma about the perfection of God is to be interpreted spiritually. Yes, I know: Edward Gibbon himself acknowledged that the literal Biblical sense of God "is repugnant to every principle of faith as well as reason" and that we must therefore read the scriptures through a veil of allegory. Yes, I know: we can go through the Bible and construct a God more pleasing to the better angels of our nature (as I have done.) Yes, I know: Christians claim the Old Testament God of wrath was supplanted by the Gospel's God of love [See The God of Evil , Allan Hawkins, Exlibris.]

I know these things; all of us know these things. But we also know that the "violence-of-God" tradition remains embedded deep in the DNA of monotheistic faith. We also know that fundamentalists the world over and at home consider the "sacred texts" to be literally God's word on all matters. Inside that logic you cannot read part of the Bible allegorically and the rest of it literally; if you believe in the virgin birth of Jesus, his crucifixion and resurrection, and the depiction of the Great Judgment at the end times you must also believe that God is sadistic, brutal, vengeful, callow, cruel and savage - that God slaughters.

Millions believe it.

Let's go back to 9/11 four years ago. The ruins were still smoldering when the reverends Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell went on television to proclaim that the terrorist attacks were God's punishment of a corrupted America. They said the government had adopted the agenda "of the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians" not to mention the ACLU and People for the American Way (The God of the Bible apparently holds liberals in the same low esteem as Hittites and Gergushites and Jebusites and all the other pagans of holy writ.) Just as God had sent the Great Flood to wipe out a corrupted world, now - disgusted with a decadent America - "God almighty is lifting his protection from us." Critics said such comments were deranged. But millions of Christian fundamentalists and conservatives didn't think so. They thought Robertson and Falwell were being perfectly consistent with the logic of the Bible as they read it: God withdraws favor from sinful nations - the terrorists were meant to be God's wake-up call: better get right with God. Not many people at the time seemed to notice that Osama bin Laden had also been reading his sacred book closely and literally, and had called on Muslims to resist what he described as a "fierce Judeo-Christian campaign" against Islam, praying to Allah for guidance "to exalt the people who obey Him and humiliate those who disobey Him."

Suddenly we were immersed in the pathology of a "holy war" as defined by fundamentalists on both sides. You could see this pathology play out in General William Boykin. A professional soldier, General Boykin had taken up with a small group called the Faith Force Multiplier whose members apply military principles to evangelism with a manifesto summoning warriors "to the spiritual warfare for souls." After Boykin had led Americans in a battle against a Somalian warlord he announced: "I know my God was bigger than his. I knew that my God was a real God and his God was an idol." Now Boykin was going about evangelical revivals preaching that America was in a holy war as "a Christian nation" battling Satan and that America's Muslim adversaries will be defeated "only if we come against them in the name of Jesus." For such an hour, America surely needed a godly leader. So General Boykin explained how it was that the candidate who had lost the election in 2000 nonetheless wound up in the White House. President Bush, he said, "was not elected by a majority of the voters - he was appointed by God." Not surprising, instead of being reprimanded for evangelizing while in uniform, General Boykin is now the Deputy Undersecretary of Defense for Intelligence. (Just as it isn't surprising that despite his public call for the assassination of a foreign head of state, Pat Robertson's Operation Blessing was one of the first groups to receive taxpayer funds from the President's Faith-Based Initiative for "relief work" on the Gulf Coast.)

We can't wiggle out of this, people. Alvin Hawkins states it frankly: "This is a problem we can't walk away from." We're talking about a powerful religious constituency that claims the right to tell us what's on God's mind and to decide the laws of the land according to their interpretation of biblical revelation and to enforce those laws on the nation as a whole. For the Bible is not just the foundational text of their faith; it has become the foundational text for a political movement.

True, people of faith have always tried to bring their interpretation of the Bible to bear on American laws and morals - this very seminary is part of that tradition; it's the American way, encouraged and protected by the First Amendment. But what is unique today is that the radical religious right has succeeded in taking over one of America's great political parties - the country is not yet a theocracy but the Republican Party is - and they are driving American politics, using God as a a battering ram on almost every issue: crime and punishment, foreign policy, health care, taxation, energy, regulation, social services and so on.

What's also unique is the intensity, organization, and anger they have brought to the public square. Listen to their preachers, evangelists, and homegrown ayatollahs: Their viral intolerance - their loathing of other people's beliefs, of America's secular and liberal values, of an independent press, of the courts, of reason, science and the search for objective knowledge - has become an unprecedented sectarian crusade for state power. They use the language of faith to demonize political opponents, mislead and misinform voters, censor writers and artists, ostracize dissenters, and marginalize the poor. These are the foot soldiers in a political holy war financed by wealthy economic interests and guided by savvy partisan operatives who know that couching political ambition in religious rhetoric can ignite the passion of followers as ferociously as when Constantine painted the Sign of Christ (the "Christograph") on the shields of his soldiers and on the banners of his legions and routed his rivals in Rome. Never mind that the Emperor himself was never baptized into the faith; it served him well enough to make the God worshipped by Christians his most important ally and turn the Sign of Christ into the one imperial symbol most widely recognized and feared from east to west.

Let's take a brief detour to Ohio and I'll show you what I am talking about. In recent weeks a movement called the Ohio Restoration Project has been launched to identify and train thousands of "Patriot Pastors" to get out the conservative religious vote next year. According to press reports, the leader of the movement - the senior pastor of a large church in suburban Columbus - casts the 2006 elections as an apocalyptic clash between "the forces of righteousness and the hordes of hell." The fear and loathing in his message is palpable: He denounces public schools that won't teach creationism, require teachers to read the Bible in class, or allow children to pray. He rails against the "secular jihadists" who have "hijacked" America and prevent school kids from learning that Hitler was "an avid evolutionist." He links abortion to children who murder their parents. He blasts the "pagan left" for trying to redefine marriage. He declares that "homosexual rights" will bring "a flood of demonic oppression." On his church website you read that "Reclaiming the teaching of our Christian heritage among America's youth is paramount to a sense of national destiny that God has invested into this nation."

One of the prominent allies of the Ohio Restoration Project is a popular televangelist in Columbus who heads a $40 million-a-year ministry that is accessible worldwide via 1,400 TV stations and cable affiliates. Although he describes himself as neither Republican nor Democrat but a "Christocrat" - a gladiator for God marching against "the very hordes of hell in our society" - he nonetheless has been spotted with so many Republican politicians in Washington and elsewhere that he has been publicly described as a"spiritual advisor" to the party. The journalist Marley Greiner has been following his ministry for the organization, FreePress. She writes that because he considers the separation of church and state to be "a lie perpetrated on Americans - especially believers in Jesus Christ" - he identifies himself as a "wall builder" and "wall buster." As a wall builder he will "restore Godly presence in government and culture; as a wall buster he will tear down the church-state wall." He sees the Christian church as a sleeping giant that has the ability and the anointing from God to transform America. The giant is stirring. At a rally in July he proclaimed to a packed house: "Let the Revolution begin!" And the congregation roared back: "Let the Revolution begin!"

(The Revolution's first goal, by the way, is to elect as governor next year the current Republican secretary of state who oversaw the election process in 2004 year when a surge in Christian voters narrowly carried George Bush to victory. As General Boykin suggested of President Bush's anointment, this fellow has acknowledged that "God wanted him as secretary of state during 2004" because it was such a critical election. Now he is criss-crossing Ohio meeting with Patriot Pastors and their congregations proclaiming that "America is at its best when God is at its center.") [For the complete stories from which this information has been extracted, see: "An evening with Rod Parsley, by Marley Greiner, FreePress, July 20, 2005; Patriot Pastors," Marilyn Warfield, Cleveland Jewish News, July 29, 2005; "Ohio televangelist has plenty of influence, but he wants more", Ted Wendling, Religion News Service, Chicago Tribune, July 1, 2005; "Shaping Politics from the pulpits," Susan Page, USA Today , Aug. 3, 2005; "Religion and Politics Should Be Mixed Says Ohio Secretary of State," WTOL-TV Toledo, October 29, 2004].

The Ohio Restoration Project is spreading. In one month alone last year in the president's home state of Texas, a single Baptist preacher added 2000 "Patriot Pastors" to the rolls. On his website he now encourages pastors to "speak out on the great moral issues of our day...to restore and reclaim America for Christ."

Alas, these "great moral issues" do not include building a moral economy. The Christian Right trumpets charity (as in Faith Based Initiatives) but is silent on social and economic justice. Inequality in America has reached scandalous proportions: a few weeks ago the government acknowledged that while incomes are growing smartly for the first time in years, the primary winners are the top earners - people who receive stocks, bonuses, and other income in addition to wages. The nearly 80 percent of Americans who rely mostly on hourly wages barely maintained their purchasing power. Even as Hurricane Katrina was hitting the Gulf Coast, giving us a stark reminder of how poverty can shove poor people into the abyss, the U.S. Census Bureau reported that last year one million people were added to 36 million already living in poverty. And since l999 the income of the poorest one fifth of Americans has dropped almost nine percent.

None of these harsh realities of ordinary life seem to bother the radical religious right. To the contrary, in the pursuit of political power they have cut a deal with America's richest class and their partisan allies in a law-of-the-jungle strategy to "starve" the government of resources needed for vital social services that benefit everyone while championing more and more spending rich corporations and larger tax cuts for the rich.

How else to explain the vacuum in their "great moral issues" of the plight of millions of Americans without adequate health care? Of the gross corruption of politics by campaign contributions that skew government policies toward the wealthy at the expense of ordinary taxpayers? (On the very day that oil and gas prices reached a record high the president signed off on huge taxpayer subsidies for energy conglomerates already bloated with windfall profits plucked from the pockets of average Americans filling up at gas tanks across the country; yet the next Sunday you could pass a hundred church signboards with no mention of a sermon on crony capitalism.)

This silence on economic and political morality is deafening but revealing. The radicals on the Christian right are now the dominant force in America's governing party. Without them the government would not be in the hands of people who don't believe in government. They are culpable in upholding a system of class and race in which, as we saw last week, the rich escape and the poor are left behind. And they are on they are crusading for a government "of, by, and for the people" in favor of one based on Biblical authority.

This is the crux of the matter: To these fundamentalist radicals there is only one legitimate religion and only one particular brand of that religion that is right; all others who call on God are immoral or wrong. They believe the Bible to be literally true and that they alone know what it means. Behind their malicious attacks on the courts ("vermin in black robes," as one of their talk show allies recently put it,) is a fierce longing to hold judges accountable for interpreting the Constitution according to standards of biblical revelation as fundamentalists define it. To get those judges they needed a party beholden to them. So the Grand Old Party - the GOP - has become God's Own Party, its ranks made up of God's Own People "marching as to war."

Go now to the website of an organization called America 21 (http://www.america21.us/Home.cfm ). There, on a red, white, and blue home page, you find praise for President Bush's agenda - including his effort to phase out Social Security and protect corporations from law suits by aggrieved citizens. On the same home page is a reminder that "There are 7,177 hours until our next National Election....ENLIST NOW." Now click again and you will read a summons calling Christian pastors "to lead God's people in the turning that can save America from our enemies." Under the headline "Remember - Repent - Return" language reminiscent of Pat Robertson and Jerry Falwell reminds you that "one of the unmistakable lessons [of 9/11] is that America has lost the full measure of God's hedge of protection. When we ask ourselves why, the scriptures remind us that ancient Israel was invaded by its foreign enemy, Babylon, in 586 B.C. ....(and) Jerusalem was destroyed by another invading foreign power in 70 A.D. .... Psalm 106:37 says that these judgments of God ...were because of Israel's idolatry. Israel, the apple of God's eye, was destroyed ... because the people failed... to repent." If America is to avoid a similar fate, the warning continues, we must "remember the legacy of our heritage under God and our covenant with Him and, in the words of II Chronicles 7:14: 'Turn from our wicked ways.'"

Just what does this have to do with the president's political agenda praised on the home page? Well, squint and look at the fine print at the bottom of the site. It reads: America21 is a not-for-profit organization whose mission is to educate, engage and mobilize Christians to influence national policy at every level. Founded in 1989 by a multi-denominational group of pastors and businessmen, it is dedicated to being a catalyst for revival and reform of the culture and the government ." (emphasis added).

The corporate, political and religious right converge here, led by a president who, in his own disdain for science, reason and knowledge, is the most powerful fundamentalist in American history.

What are the stakes? In his last book, the late Marvin Harris, a prominent anthropologist of the time, wrote that "the attack against reason and objectivity is fast reaching the proportions of a crusade." To save the American Dream, "we desperately need to reaffirm the principle that it is possible to carry out an analysis of social life which rational human beings will recognize as being true, regardless of whether they happen to be women or men, whites or black, straights or gays, employers or employees, Jews or born-again Christians. The alternative is to stand by helplessly as special interest groups tear the United States apart in the name of their "separate realities' or to wait until one of them grows strong enough to force its irrational and subjective brand of reality on all the rest."

That was written 25 years ago, just as the radical Christian right was setting out on their long march to political supremacy. The forces he warned against have gained strength ever since and now control much of the United States government and are on the verge of having it all.

It has to be said that their success has come in no small part because of our acquiescence and timidity. Our democratic values are imperiled because too many people of reason are willing to appease irrational people just because they are pious. Republican moderates tried appeasement and survive today only in gulags set aside for them by the Karl Roves, Bill Frists and Tom DeLays. Democrats are divided and paralyzed, afraid that if they take on the organized radical right they will lose what little power they have. Trying to learn to talk about God as Republicans do, they're talking gobbledygook, compromising the strongest thing going for them - the case for a moral economy and the moral argument for the secular checks and balances that have made America "a safe haven for the cause of conscience."

As I look back on the conflicts and clamor of our boisterous past, one lesson about democracy stands above all others: Bullies - political bullies, economic bullies and religious bullies - cannot be appeased; they have to be opposed with a stubbornness to match their own. This is never easy; these guys don't fight fair; "Robert's Rules of Order" is not one of their holy texts. But freedom on any front - and especially freedom of conscience - never comes to those who rock and wait, hoping someone else will do the heavy lifting. Christian realism requires us to see the world as it is, without illusions, and then take it on. Christian realism also requires love. But not a sentimental, dreamy love. Reinhold Niebuhr, who taught at Union Theological Seminary and wrestled constantly with applying Christian ethics to political life, put it this way: "When we talk about love we have to become mature or we will become sentimental. Basically love means...being responsible, responsibility to our family, toward our civilization, and now by the pressures of history, toward the universe of humankind."

Christian realists aren't afraid to love. But just as the Irishman who came upon a brawl in the street and asked, "Is this a private fight or can anyone get in it?" we have to take that love where the action is. Or the world will remain a theatre of war between fundamentalists.

Bill Moyers is a broadcast journalist and former host the PBS program NOW With Bill Moyers. Moyers also serves as president of the Schumann Center for Media and Democracy."

The Chrismukkah Cookbook is #786,526,444 on the New York Times best seller list!

2005-11-07T21:46:00.000-08:00

Hey! Where is everybody? No boycotts? No protests. No press releases condemning Chrismukkah from William Donahue ? No hate mail from the fundamentalists? No Fox News editorials? No pundits on TV shouting about us taking Christ out of Christmas? No one's even mildly offended? Only 49 shopping days before Chrismukkah. I'm sitting with 2,999 out of 3000 copies (Thanks Mom) of my freshly minted self-published, limited-edition book: Chrismukkah: The Merry Mish-Mash Holiday Cookbook. Book signing tour dates to be announced.

Happy Dia De Los Muertosukkah.

2005-11-01T07:48:00.000-08:00

With Halloween now behind us, and the Day of the Dead holiday upon us, Chrismukkah can't be far behind. Last night, we took Minna, our 2-1/2 year old daughter "Trick or Treating" around the neighborhood. It was her first Halloween. She dressed as a kitty of course. Minna was remarkably brave, considering the hordes of Spidermen and horrifying ghouls floating around Bozeman last night. Michelle and I were planning to dress up as this year's true scary monsters Karle Rove and "Scooter" Libby. I had the crutches, the leaking blood, the hand cuffs and the ball and chain all ready to go. It was really scary! But then we thought better of our responsibilites as good parents, and decided not to risk traumatizing Minna for life. The Chrismukkah Merry Mish-Mash Holiday Cook Book is finally at the printers. I think the book came out really great. More than 55 delicious Chrismukkah recipes including Gefilte Goose, Blitzens Blintzes, Cranberry Latkes, MesshugaNog, Gingerbread Dreidels and festive drinks such as "Yule Plotz". We're going to start selling the books on the website later this week. They're a limited edition, so we expect to sell out quickly.

Here we go again - Chrismukkah 2005

2005-10-06T07:53:00.000-07:00

OY the year went fast! Since my last post in April, there have been a lot of changes around this here household. In August, we moved "over the hill" from Livingston to Bozeman... primarily to facilitate Minna's play dates and shorten the Target supply runs. Our daughter is now 2 1/2, talking non-stop, and doesn't miss a thing. My mother (the true creator of Chrismukkah no matter what Josh Schwartz or the trademark lawyers at Warner Brothers might proclaim) has moved to Bozeman... all the way from Hackensack, New Jersey. What culture shock it was for her after 55 years in the New York City metro area. From the garden state of Tony Soprano to the wild west of Calamity Jane. Much to the surprise of her dubious friends back East, she absolutely loves it here and we love having her. She's already conquered the local bridge club at the Seniors Center. Michelle opened her new art studio and gallery at the Emerson Cultural Center (www.MichelleGanttceramics.com)and the space turned out beautifully. It features her own colorful and quirky mugs, bowls, urns and pitchers... plus she's brought in the work of a dozen of her favorite ceramic artists from around the country. The gallery has been very well received by the local community, but I'll miss Michelle's help in filling the greeting card orders this year. Regarding Chrismukkah...after 6 months of development, the new and improved Chrismukkah web site is now up and running with Flash animations and a greatly improved store. We're really proud of it. Props to Ryan and Sean at Future Farm. Awesome job guys. There are 7 new Chrismukkah greeting cards this year (thanks to Rachel, our conspirator in San Francisco) along with a whole bunch of exciting new stuff on the site.... music, menorahs, matzoh and mistletoe. You can even buy Chrismukkah US postage stamps. The cards are now available both from the Chrismukkah site and also at select retail locations nationwide... including Whole Foods and Urban Outfitters. Our licensing partners at Nobleworks have been doing a great job spreading Chrismukkah cheer to mainstream America. Following months of schlepping groceries and slaving over a hot stove for you, the little Chrismukkah cookbook is nearly completed and expected to start shipping in mid November. You'll soon know our secret recipes for gefilte Goose, Matzoh Pizza, Kris Kringle Kugel and Meshugga Nog. The bigger book of Chrismukkah will not be published until Chrismukkah 2006. All in all, it's now the calm before the storm as we get ready for another frenzied and chaotic November / December. More soon.

Chrismukkah 2005 - My To Do List.

2005-04-22T09:52:00.000-07:00

Chrismukkah - TTD Spring 2005 1. Find national greeting card company interested in working with us to license Chrismukkah cards for retail store distribution in 2005. (Yay.Done - NobleWorks) 2. Find book agent (Yay. Done - Jody Rein Books) 3. Conceptualize and outline for a Chrismukkah book. (Whew. Done- Title: "Chrismukkah! The Merry Mish Mash Holiday") 4. Write book proposal (Done) 5. Assemble creative team - photographer, illustrator, book designer, chef, etc. (Done-Larry, Rachel, Benjamin, Ryan, Kathy, Wink) 6. Finish book in time for Christmukkah 2005 publication - due June 30!. (Ummmmm. Yikes) 7. Shop Chrismukkah book to publishers (done) 8. Renovate Chrismukkah website and store (done) 9. Come up with new card designs for 2005. (done) 10. Produce Chrismukkah music CD (maybe next year) 11. Decide on new items to sell on Chrismukkah.com website store (CDs,menorahments, tree topper, clothing, stamps) 12. Should we design an "Easter-Over" card (See Mosaica Day) 13. Register "Chrismukkah" trademark (Done - in progress) 14. Move warehouse from barn to larger location. (Done. Whew.) 15. Work out PR plan for 2005 (Done).