Roger & Lail

We'll miss you, Roger!

2007-08-17T08:48:00.000-05:00

While we were still in Texas, I asked Roger, "What are 5 things you're looking forward to about going home?" He said:

English Breakfast
Driving
Chris and Russ
The new baby, Faith
And being able to understand people again

Let's hope those weren't in order.

Then I asked him, "What were 5 highlights from the past 2 1/2 months here?" And he said:

The Maid of the Mist boatride at Niagara Falls
The Sears Tower in Chicago
The Statue of Liberty in New York City
Skydiving in Chicago
Working with Emmaus Ministries

I just dropped Roger off at the airport last night, and I hope all of you in England are ready to welcome him home!

I think this may be it for the blog - ?

Roger's Essay: The Wrong Question

2007-08-16T09:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, you read Lail's essay; today is Roger's:

The purpose of this essay will not be to tell stories from the internship because I feel we have fulfilled that through the blog. But rather this essay should serve to communicate my insights. However I would also like it to attempt to answer a question that has come up in conversations before arriving at Emmaus and during my stay here. This is a question that I have also asked my self. What can Emmaus do for these men?

Before arriving at Emmaus I hadn’t had any ministry experience in working with male prostitutes or people that were so dependent and thus addicted to drugs. I was understandably apprehensive. I didn’t know how I was going to react to the men and how they were going to react to me. I didn’t have any real knowledge of this world and thus was scared I would say or do something wrong. Even though I have had experience working with young people that were very street wise, I knew that wouldn’t have prepared me enough for a new country, culture and thus a very different street life.

My apprehension, however, left very quickly when I re-learnt a very important lesson from Nathaniel. Everything that we do must be covered in prayer and thus, handed over to God. Don Jean-Baptiste Chantard put it very well when he said that an apostle (Christian) would insult Jesus Christ if he relied on his own powers.[1]

Even though Nathaniel had explained that ministry with Emmuas sees very little fruit - the reality didn’t really hit until I had experienced it. Working with these men is not easy, it is not that a lot of the men don’t want help, but because of their lifestyle and addictions getting them to ‘follow through’ is hard, if not impossible. One of the men put it this way; ‘you can never give a drug addict a chance to re-think’. What he meant was, once they have decided to go into rehab, they’ve got to go that day otherwise the pull of drugs will be so strong they will never go. Humans are fallen we cannot expect them to follow through on their own or even with support, God has to be working as well, it is only through his power that these men will turn around. That’s why the AA program recognises God in recovery and is firmly based on His word.

But what can Emmaus do for these men? I have learnt over this internship that this is the wrong question to be asking, as it brings in the possibility that no work should or can be done to help these men. Rather the question we ask must be; what should Emmaus do for these men? The answer I think is two fold – nothing and everything, let me explain.

Emmaus in one sense can do nothing for these men in view of their spiritual walk with God. That is not to say that Emmaus is useless in its ministry. Emmaus like any ministry should recognise it cannot take anyone closer to God by its own good works, we cannot help them to change their lives to be more like that of Christ’. Don Jean-Baptiste Chantard put it like this;

‘Failure, on the part of the apostle, to realize…that he could produce the slightest trace of supernatural life without borrowing every bit of it from Jesus Christ, would lead us to believe that his ignorance of theology was equalled only by his stupid self-conceit’.[2]

It is, I believe, only God who can fulfil that role. He only draws people to himself through his son Jesus, he only through his Holy Spirit sanctifies people – makes them more like Jesus. I’m am not saying either that these men are hopeless and will never find God, a lot of these men would say they have received Christ’s forgiveness – they are in a relationship with God. But as much as it is God’s work to change these men at the same time it is up to the these men to want to grow in their relationship with God they have got to equally go along with God, want to become like him and thus ask him to help them in that.

Likewise in view of the men’s physical life to get off the drugs into a job ect – which co-insides with their sanctification, without God this would be a useless task. These men are so addicted to drugs so use to their life that they need God’s supernatural powers to change, any work we do as humans would be worthless.

However my answer to the question was two fold and the other side is that Emmaus should be doing everything we have mentioned above.

God has chosen to work through two things. Primarily, the Holy Spirit uses His own word (the bible) to change us. Secondly He works through his family – other Christians. Emmaus is part of God’s family and therefore should lovingly bring God’s word to the men so that He can speak to them and change them, as the apostle Paul said ‘how can they hear (and thus trust in God and change) without someone preaching to them’.[3] We should because the Holy Spirit speaks through Christians by gracefully showing the men how their lives need to change so they become more like Christ in a loving and humble way.[4] Emmaus should also be working to take these men off the streets and into rehab and jobs, as this is part of their sanctification and thus God will be working in it.

In conclusion I have re-learnt that we must cover everything we do in prayer, without God working in this ministry any work we do is hopeless. This has been brought to my attention so much more because of the type of ministry Emmaus is involved in.
I have also come to realise we should and must help these men; there must not be in our minds any kind of thought that we shouldn’t work with them. We mustn’t either just help them to get out of prostitution and off the streets but, we should also spend as much time and energy in helping them – being used by God, so that they get to know and grow in him.

[1] The Soul of The Apostolate, Don Jean-Baptiste, Page 9
[2] T.S.of.the.A, Page 9
[3] Romans 10:15
[4] As long as what we are saying is from the bible – The Holy Spirit would never contradict his own word and therefore from Him to speak through us we need to be using his words, the bible.

Why Are You Not a Prostitute?

2007-08-16T09:36:00.000-05:00

Did you grow up in a loving family and in a safe neighborhood? Do you have a good education and a good job? Have you avoided traps like drugs and alcohol? Do you hold high morals concerning your body and sexuality that you could never engage in something as low as prostitution?

Many of you, may have answered 'no' to these questions. You had tough childhood, you don't have a good education, and you were/are using drugs and alcohol, then why are you not a prostitute? Really ask yourself, "Why am I not a prostitute? What makes me different? What factors in my life have kept me from leading a life of prostitution?"

We have both thought about this question a lot since our internship. Why can one child grow up in an abusive household, be sexually abused as a child, get involved with drugs, and end up as a prostitute, while another child with the same issues doesn't? Or conversely, another child can grow up with a completely happy childhood, still get involved with drugs, and still end up as a prostitute.

It's really easy to detach ourselves from the issue of prostitution, as though it is simply a problem that affects them and not us. But the reality is, none of us are immune from going down this same path. So really, why aren't you a prostitute?

The more we thought about this we realized how complex it all is. But we did come up with a couple of answers: First, is the concept of Grace. Grace is being given something that we don't deserve and didn't earn. It was through God's grace that we could have great parents, a good education, and job skills to fall back on. It was also God's grace that prevented us from getting sucked into drugs and alcohol. Most importantly, it was God's grace that opened our eyes to Jesus. It's God's grace that keeps our eyes on Jesus. This doesn't leave much room for boasting in our own strengths, efforts, or wise decisions.

Second, is that everybody has a part of them that has been corrupted, which the Bible calls 'Sin.' This corruption shows itself in different ways with different people. For us, our sin will be different than to that of a prostitute but that doesn't mean that we are better or worse than them, only that it is displayed in a different way.

So why are the men we worked with in Houston involved in prostitution instead of working in an office job, with a nice family and home? There are, in fact, many people who are functional alcoholics and drug abusers, and will never in their lifetime end up on the streets. It's not that prostitutes haven't been shown grace, (everybody receives grace, this is referred to as Common Grace, which God gives to everyone without distinction. One way this is shown, for example, is the gift of life), but the corruption in their hearts is different to that of an average drug user; the evil their hearts desire is stronger. And that is what leads them to a life of prostitution. They have chosen drugs for whatever reason that may be; many didn't choose prostitution, but prostitution is a consequence of what they have chosen.

We're not saying we have concrete answers about all of this, it's just something we've been thinking about a lot. But we'll ask you again, why are you not a prostitute? Maybe some of you have further thoughts and better answers than we do.

Lail's Essay

2007-08-15T10:55:00.000-05:00

As part of our internship, we were all required to write a brief 2-page essay. This essay was to be a reflection on the internship, including our insights and experiences. Today we thought we would post Lail's essay and tomorrow we'll post Roger's.

In London, I worked at a drop-in center for homeless men and women (97% of our guests are male). Many of them have problems with drug and alcohol abuse. For some, these substance abuse issues have caused their homelessness, for others these issues are a result of their homelessness, and for practically all these issues prevent them from moving out of homelessness because of the additional problems drugs and alcohol cause. Now with Emmaus Ministries, prostitution is also added into the mix, which only further complicates the situation.

Interning with Emmaus has been a valuable experience for me. My aim is still focused on starting a similar ministry in London. I’m not sure whether this is where God will lead me but I’m grateful to at least have had this month-long exposure as a learning experience. I wanted to use this month to learn and grow. I also prayed that God would use this month to speak to me. I feel that He has given me a heart for men, especially men who are broken, forgotten about, or exploited. My overall experience at Emmaus has been wonderful because these are exactly the type of men we encounter. My heart for men and my desire to help men has been confirmed while at Emmaus.

I was really encouraged by the emphasis on personal spiritual growth as being a vital part of ministry; I’ve truly realized the importance of this. Whatever I may end up doing in the future, I want my ministry to be centered in my relationship with Christ. It’s only been in the past year, that I have become aware of the concept of a spiritual battle and the importance of prayer in the midst of this battle.

I know that I will take back with me to London, what I’ve learned from each of the men that I’ve had the privilege of getting to know. John, who was the first guy I met, has taught me that not all hustlers are rough, violent, and aggressive characters. Some will be extremely friendly and outgoing. John was always so willing to participate in everything, he practically always showed up when he said he would, and made a sincere effort to get to know me as well as letting me get to know him. John has also taught me to avoid generalizing; such as, all hustlers come from broken and abusive families. John told me that he had a nice childhood, his parents were married for forty years, and his sisters all have good jobs at present. Maybe he is the exception, but it still serves as a good reminder to me to avoid boxing people in and generalizing their situations.

Derek, who was raped by a female friend of the family as a child, has reminded me that men are not the only offenders/abusers of children. I’ve learned that his outright contempt for women is complicated because it started at such a young age. Many of the men Emmaus works with have unresolved issues from their childhood that are still hindering them in their adulthood. Derek's claim of being a homosexual is also complex because as he’s had sex with more and more men, he’s become confused about what he enjoys sexually or who he is physically attracted to, even if at one time in his life he preferred women.

James has taught me the importance of encouraging and supporting the men, even in what seems like the most mundane of tasks. I felt James was at a point of absolute hopelessness and self-pity, that it was a struggle to simply run errands and fill out forms. Having to follow procedures, go to different offices, or talk to people, deterred him so much, almost to the point of giving up altogether. Literally, ‘being there” or being present with someone as they are going through this process seemed to be making a difference in his mood and outlook on his situation.

Scott is another reminder to me that the things that happen to children will affect them long into their adult lives. Scott was given weed at the age of four by his mother and he struggles with a drug addiction now. Scott told me in length about his sugar daddy, Marcus who is a millionaire and paid for everything Scott could ever want, including drugs. Marcus even allowed Scott's girlfriend to live with them for five years. Scott talked about Marcus very fondly, but now looks at his life, as an older hustler on the streets, with anger. If anything, I think this teaches me that I still have a lot to learn about all the dynamics and complexities of hustling.

Rick (the man with the chain) serves as a warning to me. He’s someone I enjoyed talking and laughing with; he’s so friendly and was wonderful to get to know. But at the same time, I’m reminded that he is living a life of survival. When the situation calls for him to be angry and violent he will respond accordingly. Just because he is nice to some Christian ministers who are offering to give him lunch, doesn’t mean that he won’t attack another person with a thick, steel chain when money is owed to him.

One thing I’ve also learned is that not all hustlers hate their lives and want a way out. Some, especially among the younger ones, but not necessarily, like how easy and plentiful money can be. They are still enjoying a life of drugs, drinking, sex, and partying. They see no reason to hate it and oftentimes will say that once things get really bad, that’s when they will do something about it. It seems that this is yet another reason why prayer is so important in this ministry. God will be the only one that convicts them of their lives and the way they are choosing to the live the life He has given them.

I can’t say that at the end of this internship I have all the answers about running an organization such as Emmaus, and that’s not what I was expecting to gain. Mostly it’s been important for me to learn that this is God’s work. When a change does come about in any of the lives of these men, it will be because of Jesus and not because of anything I’ve done. The best things I can do for any of the men, is to pray for them, teach them the bible, and love them as Christ has loved me.

Roger's Last Outreach

2007-08-15T10:53:00.000-05:00

Sorry this is a bit late, but with the drive back to Michigan I've fallen behind on writing.

I went on Outreach on Saturday with Brain and Sunday night with Nathaniel. Both nights were surprisingly quiet. Hardly any hustlers were out. But on both nights as we were walking from the Emmaus office to the area we work in I had, what can only be described as, a much stronger sense of darkness coming from the streets, but didn't know why until half way through Sunday night.

On Saturday night because it was so quiet we just sat outside 611 bar for a while. A customer from there came out and started talking to us. He really didn't like the idea that we were there working with the male prostitutes. He said, "This area is fine with out you, everything works great, we don't need people trying to come and change it". We tried to explain that we were not there to change things but just wanted to talk to the hustlers; but he just didn't listen. He was really quite drunk so that probably didn't help.

During our conversation he seemed to be flirting and coming on to me, even though I had told him very clearly I wasn't gay. When that didn't work he then changed and started to try and intimidate me. We finally decided to leave the conversation because it wasn't getting us anywhere his anger towards us just kept growing and growing. There weren't any hustlers out either so it was best just to leave.

Sunday, Nathaniel and I did an exit interview. We spent a long time in Cousins, the local drag bar, talking about the internship, what was good about it, and what could be improved upon for the next group of interns.

After the interview finished, we walked around the area, just having short conversations with some new dealers and some hustlers that Nathaniel knew but I hadn't met yet. As we walked by 611 we saw a dead chicken. We both had the same thoughts - aren't chickens used by devil worshipers? Nathaniel expressed his thoughts first, then he said that the hustlers often talk about Voodoo that goes on around the area. This is why I think I had that sense of darkness. Voodoo on the streets really isn't surprising considering everything else that goes on in that area. So we walked back over the area and prayed.

It was a shame that I didn't get to see the men that I had gotten to know over the last month for one last time, but it just reminded me how unpredictable the streets are. You never know who you are going to meet and what situations you are going to have to deal with next.

Love & Hate

2007-08-14T19:35:00.000-05:00

We're back in Michigan today! We left Houston yesterday morning and did 14 hours of driving. Today we did the last 6 1/2 hours. As we look back on our past month in Houston, we have determined the pros and cons of our experience.

The following is a list of what we LOVE about Houston (in no specific order):

Emmaus Ministries
Nathaniel and Brian
Anna and Berkeley Glass for putting us up for the past month
Snickers, the dog!
Sunita, (Lail's mom's childhood friend, who lives in Houston) for her wonderful home cooking and hospitality
Meeting the hustlers on street outreach, eating lunch with them, and getting to know them
Emmaus' Community Meals
Mari Wylie and Steve Capper, our spiritual mentors
The amount of time we've been able to spend in prayer, reading, and ministry
The tons of cats that roam around the Montrose area where we work

And now, the things we HATE about Houston:

Cockroaches are everywhere, especially at night
Mosquitoes - we think we may have 50 bites between us
Nobody walks anywhere! The city is set up to be car-focused
The humidity makes it unbearable to be outside
It's rained practically everyday that we'd been there
Food in Houston is not very good. Eating out has been a big let down
We're pretty sure Roger is allergic to Houston air - he hadn't stopped sneezing since we arrived
Bad drivers

Goodbye to James

2007-08-11T16:42:00.000-05:00

We found out yesterday from Nathaniel that James now has full-blown AIDS, and is in the hospital. So today we went to visit him and to say goodbye since we're heading back to Michigan on Monday.

It was really nice being able to see him one last time. He looked much better now that he's getting sleep and food regularly. He said he wasn't sure how long he would be in the hospital nor how long he has to live.

We took a few pictures and told him that we would keep in touch through sending letters to the Emmaus office. To our surprise, tears came to his eyes and he thanked us sincerely for helping him. He said, "I owe you guys a lot. I wouldn't have been able to do this without your help." It was really humbling for us to see him cry. This is a guy who is easily angered, a guy who becomes volatile with anyone, including people who are trying to help him. To see his genuine appreciation left us both quite speechless.

We realize that James still has a long journey ahead of him once he gets out of the hospital. He will still need to get his ID and Gold Card, he has to find a place to stay, and eventually get a job. But for him it shouldn't stop there; he still has a long way to go in his relationship with God. The two of us may not be able to help him with that, but Emmaus will of course carry on that work.

We've included a picture of James in his hospital bed, but we've blurred out his face in order to maintain confidentiality.

Lail's Last Outreach

2007-08-11T15:25:00.000-05:00

Last night, Nathaniel and I (Lail) were on outreach for my last time. The night was going fine; we had had a couple of good conversations with the guys. Around 1am, we walked over to Montrose Blvd., where many young people hang out in big groups - it can be a little intimidating. We were approached by a girl, Elizabeth, who is 7 months pregnant. The father, is Sean. Roger and Nathaniel had seen him get arrested a week earlier for walking out in the middle of the road in front of a police car.

Elizabeth came up to Nathaniel and me and said, "I need to get out of here. I'm pregnant; I can't be livin' out on the streets." She's only 21. She told us about a place called Star of Hope that will take in young people who are living out on the streets. Elizabeth would get special consideration for being pregnant.

Sean saw that she was talking to us and came over extremely angry. He started yelling, "Ya'll aren't taking my baby away! This is my family! I feed her, I take care of her, you don't!" His anger was directed mainly at Nathaniel. He threatened him and basically told him that if he didn't leave in the next 5 seconds he would beat him up. Nathaniel remained very calm and tried to reason with him. But Sean just wasn't hearing it. Sean kept accusing Nathaniel of wanting to take the baby to CPS (Children Protection Services).

Sean was getting more and more in Nathaniel's face and soon 3 of his friends were also nearby as if to "have his back" in case of a fight. We saw that the situation was escalating so we walked away. Before we left, Nathaniel told Elizabeth, "If you really want to go to Star of Hope, we can take you there."

We walked about a block down the street and found a security guard and explained the situation to him. He approached them and Sean was enraged again. This time he came right at Nathaniel and I think, he swung but missed. The security guard was seriously are guardian angel last night. After talking to them for a while and eventually calming Sean down, he came back to us and said, "I asked her, but she said she don't want to go." We explained that's just intimidated by Sean and won't say what she really wants to do around him. He understood that and said, "That may be true, it most likely is, but still I can't force her to go."

As things were calming down, Nathaniel suggested that I go over and talk to Elizabeth, so I did. She explained that he took drugs tonight that were laced with other stronger drugs; whenever that happens his temper comes out. She also said, "Sean really is a good guy, he's just really protective over me." I acknowledged that although Sean may be a good guy, there is a big difference between being protective and being angry and controlling the way he is. She came to his defense, "He's just had it rough. He's a foster kid. Like when he gets real angry, he starts saying, 'My mom didn't want me, my dad didn't want me..' and that's why he is the way he is." Again I acknowledged that although that may be, and it's sad that that's been his experience, she has to think of her baby and what's best for him/her.

I wasn't expecting to hear what she had to say next: "Well that's just it, none of my other babies' daddies want anything to do with their kids. And he does. This is his first baby and he wants to do a better of job than his dad did with him." I hesitated asking, "How many other kids do you have?" "Two others," she replied. "And where are they?" I asked. "Adopted," she said very casually. "But this time, we're going to be a family," she continued, "Sean's gonna get us an apartment."

I wasn't even trying to hide the look of concern on my face. I realized that reasoning with her was not helping. The control and influence he had over her, was much stronger and had been ingrained in her for much too long. I just continued to sit across from her as she told me more about their relationship, her other kids, her relationship with her mom, and other stories about how she's gotten to this point in her life.

Houston Astros!

2007-08-10T20:52:00.000-05:00

Nathaniel gave us two tickets to the Houston Astros game tonight against the Milwaukee Brewers. We decided to go because Roger has never been to a baseball game before and it's probably the most American thing one could possibly do. Our seats were in the nosebleed section, but still, the view wasn't bad and it was pretty fun. We took some pictures and even made a video, with Lail's extremely professional commentary:

Once I (Roger) had understood the game I thought it was very much like Rounders, but Lail said I'm mistaken, rounders is based on baseball. Why is it that the Americans always think they started everything?

Baseball is slightly faster than Cricket but slower than Rounders, so to be honest I wasn't quite sure what all the fuss is about, but I say the same about Football (Soccer) in England and look at how popular that is!

If you have ever been to Houston you would know that everything is indoors because of the heat. So typical to Houston, the baseball field is indoors. Today at 9pm it was still in the high 90s and with the humidity it feels like way over a 100. So it was nice to be somewhere slightly cooler.

The Homeless Program

2007-08-09T15:33:00.000-05:00

Today, we met James at Emmaus at 7:30am. This is our third attempt this week to take him to The Homeless Program office (pictured right). The first time, he showed up having lost all of his paperwork and ID that Brian and I (Lail) had helped him get only 2 days earlier. The second time, he didn't show up until 8:15am and we had already left around 8am thinking he wasn't going to come. And this third time, he came with all of his paperwork with him.

We had a flier from the Homeless Program explaining that they work on a first-come-first-serve basis so it is imperative to arrive early if we expect to be seen. The office doesn't open until 9am and we were outside waiting in line at about 7:45am. There were already 14-15 people ahead of us. Thank God, we were able to get in for James to meet with a counselor for an initial interview (this was to help determine what services were available for him) as well as apply for a Gold Card, which would provide James with free health care and medication.

Roger talked to the security guard there and explained that James often gets volatile and angry, and requested that he allow us to accompany James throughout the process. The security guard and the counselor allowed for only one of us to be with James during his interview. Roger suggested that I do it because I have a good rapport with him.

The counselor asked James some standard questions about his life. He then moved on to the health part of the interview, asking if he had any health problems. James replied harshly, "I'm dying," he stared at him as if he should have known that. The counselor, who was not expecting that type of response, said, "Oh, OK. From what?" James, getting more and more agitated said, "Everything." The counselor didn't say anything, so James continued, "I have Hepatitis, Syphilis, and I'm HIV positive" he counted on his fingers, "I have no strength, I'm tired all the time, I'm homeless so I don't get much sleep and can't eat right, I'm loosing 5 lbs. a week, I'm in excruciating pain all the time. Does that answer your question?"

I just shook my head and apologized silently to the counselor. I actually felt really bad for him because he was doing his best to be supportive and helpful. We soon got on the subject of emergency housing for AIDS patients. The counselor called a woman at an organization who then wanted to speak to James. The counselor handed James the phone. As they were talking, the counselor showed me a flier describing the organization. I read it and thought it sounded wonderful. It was a small facility that specialized in helping AIDS patients with a holistic approach. However, within a few minutes, James was yelling at the woman and finally through the phone across the desk and said, "Stupid bitch. No way am I going there. The hell with this." After he calmed down he explained that she wanted him to stop doing drugs. Guests at that facility are expected to be clean. To him this was absurd. He claimed, "I have to self medicate! It's the only way I can not feel pain."

At the end of our time at the Homeless Program we left with the following:

A $15 waiver, to pay for his birth certificate and ID.
A referral to the AIDS Foundation Houston
5 different referrals to emergency housing for AIDS patients
And a Gold Card (considering the way the social system works here, this was huge to get done in just one morning!)

Overall I found this to be a frustrating experience. How do you help someone who doesn't make it easy to help them, who yells at people who are trying to help him, and demands that things be done his way? Can you ever actually help someone like this? Once they've gotten everything they want, will they just find something new to be unhappy about?

I have to think of Christ. How patient is He when I refuse His help and assume I know better? How often do I demand that God does things my way? Is it fair of me to really be that frustrated with James, when I do the exact same things to God and He shows me patience, grace, and mercy in abundance?

Spiritual Mentors

2007-08-08T18:08:00.000-05:00

During our internship, Nathaniel wanted us to meet with spiritual mentors. With the nature of this ministry, it is a really good idea to have spiritual mentors who are not involved with the work themselves. So over the last month, Lail and I have been meeting with them separately once a week for about an hour. Mari Wylie has been meeting with Lail, and Roger has met with Steve Capper who is the Executive Director of Mission Houston

This has been a good time for us both. We've been able to tell them how we are feeling throughout the internship, as well as off loading to them when we've had a rough week. They have given us wise and sound advice on how to deal with the issues we're facing. It has also been great to receive prayer from them on particular matters.

I have also found it a great help in my own walk with Jesus. Steve has challenged me and set many goals for me in my relationship with God for when I go back home.

Catch up

2007-08-07T00:09:00.001-05:00

With all the different posts over the last couple of days we really haven't posted everything we have been doing with Emmaus. So you may be wondering, what have we been up to over the last couple of days?

The beginning of last week I (Roger) while on outreach with Nathaniel saw one of the men we know get arrested. He was really drunk and high. We were in mid conversation with him when all of the sudden he walked out into the road in front of a police car just to wind up the officer!! It really took us back.

At the end of the week (Friday), Nathaniel went away on a marriage retreat with his wife, which left us interns in charge again. That night Brain and Lail went on street out reach. Then on Saturday it was mine and Brian's turn to walk the streets. We ran into the guy who I saw get arrested at the beginning of the week. It turns out he was released the next day after he had sobered up a bit. Which is good in one sense as his girlfriend (who we met that night also) is 6-8 months pregnant and homeless so she would have really struggled without him.

We all also ran the house of hospitality on Saturday during the day. The good news is that two new guy's turned up. We had a good time chatting with them, getting to know their needs spiritually and practically.

This week, because it is our last, seems to be quite packed. We have been trying to get James the right help now that is homeless and found out 3 weeks previous that he is HIV positive, but everything takes such a long time. We have two more books to read excerpts from and discuss with Nathaniel and Brain, an essay to write, Nathaniel and Lail have the Emmaus news letter to get out, and we all have a meal at the end of the week to meet the Emmaus Board of Directors in Houston. That's not including the normal house of hospitality three days this week and, street outreach.

When we get on top of things we hope to give you some reflections about our time with Emmaus.

Lail News

2007-08-06T22:53:00.000-05:00

For the past couple of weeks, Roger has been using a program called Google Analytics for our blog, which tells us how the site is being used. It has some really cool features, such as the different countries people are viewing the blog from. So real quick we want to say "Thanks!" to people in the U.S., U.K., India, Venezuela, Canada, Germany, Egypt, Netherlands, Japan, and Turkey. We're not really sure who we knows in these countries, but we're still amazed by the fact that so many people are reading it.

Another feature of Google Analytics, is that we can see how people are referred to our blog. For the most part people just using the main blogger website. However, there was one site that got our attention. It's called Lail News. Apparently, someone has just done a blog on the name 'Lail.' The blog focuses on news about different Lails, including people with the last name Lail. And our Lail made it on there! We commented on his blog, just saying thanks for mentioning us and asking why his blog is solely devoted to Lails.

Have you ever considered the way?

2007-08-06T16:32:00.000-05:00

Video is a great way to get a message across. So today we thought we would let you see a video made by a friend of ours in England, and ask you the same question the video asks - Have you ever considered the way?

Have you ever considered the way? by Daniel Saunders

Concrete City

2007-08-05T15:05:00.000-05:00

This afternoon we went into downtown Houston. This is technically our last day off to be tourists so we thought we would make the most of it. We got on to Houston's public transport, called The Rail, which consists of only one line running North to South and goes from the Medical Center (south of Houston) into downtown Houston. It's no London Underground or Chicago's El, but it wasn't bad; at least it was air conditioned and clean.

We walked around downtown taking pictures of the buildings. As we walked around we came to some conclusions: The city seems to lack any history or character, the buildings were merely functional, and every inch that could be paved with concrete was. The city itself was completely dead. Roger's first comment was, "It's like a ghost town." For being a Sunday afternoon, you'd think people would be out walking around or having lunch at cafes. It was also extremely humid that we only spent about 40 minutes walking around before we headed back home.

The Social System

2007-08-03T22:46:00.000-05:00

Today, I (Lail) got a very rude awakening to what it's like for someone to go through the social system. Brian and I went to pick up one of our guests, let's call him James, from Thomas Street Health Center, which is a health clinic specifically for patients with HIV and AIDS. It's supposedly one of the leading AIDS Hospitals in the country. One of the first doctors who discovered that HIV develops into AIDS currently works there.

We picked up James and spent the day with him basically to help him run errands. The plan was to first go to the social security office to get an ID, then to Ben Tuab Hospital to apply for a gold card, which is a card that lower-income people can apply for in order to get free medications, and then finally to one other office that provides free emergency housing to patients with AIDS. I'd love to say that we accomplished everything we set out to do, however I quickly realized that we would be lucky to even finish one thing on our list.

We started at the social security office to get an ID. We walked in to see one giant waiting room filled to the capacity. We got our number and managed to find seats. I looked around the room of people who were elderly or poor; everyone looked annoyed, frustrated, tired, and basically fed up. I turned to James and said, "This is depressing." He laughed and said, "Thanks." I quickly apologized realizing that I was probably not being very positive. He said, "No, don't apologize. Thank you for noticing how depressing this can be. This is bad enough if you're healthy and things in your life are alright. But think how this is for someone like me, who has nothing going for him."

As we continued to wait for our number to be called, we heard a woman getting very agitated. She was a deaf woman who was trying to communicate with the security guard, who didn't know any sign language. She was signing to him and making some noises, but none that were discernible words. She was getting more and more frustrated. The security guard finally went to get an employee that signed. I don't know much sign language, only the alphabet, but from what I could see the employee just kept telling her to leave. I watched his mouth, and he was, he was telling her, "Just get out. Just leave." She finally just broke down and cried. The security guard and the employee physically removed her from the building as she yelled, cried, and continued to sign to them. Everyone in the room just watched this awful scene. I looked around the room and saw the most horrified expressions on people's faces.

James, Brian, and I chatted for the next hour. During that time I asked him if he had any ID at all. He pulled out one piece of paper from his pocket. It was from a local prison stating that he was a registered sex offender. That was his only form of ID. After about an hour of waiting, we got the appropriate paperwork for James: a print out of his social security number, and a form saying he was homeless and had no income.

I won't get into the rest of the details of the day, which basically involved a series of waiting rooms, being turned away, or being sent somewhere else. The day concluded in James being told that the best thing he could do for himself would be to go to what is called The Homeless Program. I told James I would meet him at 7:30am Monday morning to go to this office and see how they can help him. He said that he can't guarantee that he will show up and left it at that.

Emmaus Promo Video

2007-08-03T16:06:00.001-05:00

Here is an Emmaus promo video. It has been made by Emmaus Chicago, so the streets and the center are different to the Houston center. However it will give you a good idea of what we do and the struggles the men through.

Comic Relief

2007-08-02T21:01:00.001-05:00

What do you get when you combine the Roger Carter you know and love, 2 months of going without a haircut, and way too much hair gel? Give up?

One very bad hair day:

This is our third post of the day. Do keep reading below.

Beyond Gay

2007-08-02T14:38:00.000-05:00

We've been reading some chapter from a book, Beyond Gay by David Morrison. Below is an excerpt from that book, that took us slightly by surprise. The media, and the gay community, paint a very rosy picture about their lifestyle and community, but the reality is in fact very different:

"Suppose you were to move into a large house in San Francisco with a group of ten randomly selected homosexual men in their mid-thirties. According to the most recent research from scientific sources, whose authors are without exception either neutral or positive in their assessment of homosexual behavior, and with the use of lower numbers where the statistics differ, the relational and physical health of the group would look like this.

"Four of the ten men are currently in relationships, but only one of those is faithful to his partner and he will not be within a year. Four have never had a relationship that lasted more than a year and only one has had a relationship that lasted more than three years. Six are having sex regularly with strangers, and the group averages almost two partners per person per month. Three of them occasionally take part in orgies. One is a sadomasochist. One prefers boys to men.

"Three of the men are currently alcoholics, five have a history of alcohol abuse and four have a history of drug abuse. Three currently smoke cigarettes; five regularly use at least one illegal drug and three are multiple drug users. Four have a history of acute depression, three have seriously contemplated suicide and two have attempted suicide. Eight have a history of sexually transmitted diseases, eight currently carry infectious pathogens and three currently suffer from digestive or urinary ailments caused by these pathogens."

Our previous post below includes our discussion about this book, as well as some further research that we have done on bug parties.

Bug Parties

2007-08-02T09:31:00.000-05:00

Just a warning, this is definitely not for the faint of heart. This post is going to be pretty disturbing and even shocking.

Last night, we met up with Nathaniel and Brian for prayer and dinner. Over dinner we discussed our reading for the week, Beyond Gay by David Morrison. In the first chapter, Morrison explains the concept of, what he calls, the "sex-at-any-cost" movement. This is the acceptance among the gay community that they most likely will not live to see 40 years of age. Therefore, rather than living a life without sex, they freely choose to participate in unsafe sex and risk contracting HIV.

The four of us discussed this for quite a while. We thought about why someone would make this type of choice. Although we may not have come to any conclusions, we did have some thoughts on the issue: The gay community is foundationally based on sex; the culture itself is sex. The world tell us that sex equals love and a life without love is not worth living. Essentially, the reason people have this tainted view of love, is because they don't know love in the true sense, which is God's love.

God's love is seen in terms of "giving." We can see this in John 3:16-17, which says, "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." Whereas, the type of love predominantly found within the gay community, is not about giving, but is instead based on taking. Sex is all about, "What can I get out of this?" and not, "How can I give to this other person?"

The discussion led to Nathaniel asking all of us if we had ever heard of bug parties. None of us had so we looked it up when we got home. The following information is taken from the website, http://www.gaylife.about.com/:

What are bug parties?
Bug parties are sex parties often ranging from a few to as many as 30 people. Unsafe sex with every participant at the party is encouraged. There are several variations of bug parties. At some, there is one member of the "orgy" that is HIV positive. Only this individual and the host know his positive status. The remaining participants know that there is an infected person in the room, but do not know his identity. The participants then partake in a night usually filled with alcohol, drugs and of course unsafe sex.

In other variations of a bug party, there is one person who is not infected with HIV, however the other participants are or may be. Every one is aware of the person who is disease free. The HIV negative person then allows the infected guys to have unprotected anal sex with him.

What is a "bug chaser?"
A bug chaser is a gay man who deliberately attempts to contract HIV by having unprotected sex with a man or group of men who are known to have the virus.

What is a "gift giver?"
A gift giver is an HIV positive gay man who deliberately transmits the virus, often times to bug chasers, or those willing to contract it.

Why do people participate in bug parties?
Many psychologists theorize that participation in bug parties is actually an anxiety disorder where the non-infected individuals fear getting HIV so greatly that they would rather contract it and free themselves of the anxiety of living in fear. These parties are also seen as a sort of club for those living with HIV. Infecting a HIV negative and willing participant initiates them into their world. Some people also engage in unprotected anal sex (or barebacking) as the fear for AIDS dangerously dwindles.

Christain Videos for thought

2007-08-01T01:35:00.001-05:00

Have you ever considered the way? by Daniel Saunders

What is Worship? by Daniel Saunders

Whats your fears for the future? by Daniel Saunders

But what do you do when you know what your fear is? Who do you turn to? Most of these young people would say that Jesus is the only person who can help you with your fear.

Cocaine - Crack Cocaine

2007-07-31T11:33:00.000-05:00

Earlier we did a post on Crystal Meth. This sparked our interest and got us researching other drugs that hustlers often use. Another drug that is very common among hustlers is Cocaine. It has become the second most popular illegal recreational drug in the U.S. (behind marijuana). Below are a couple of links:

'Crack Cocaine' and 'Freebase' are all forms of cocaine. Most of the men, if they take Cocaine, don't have much of a preference as long as it gives them the desired affect. It can be either smoked, snorted, or injected. If snorted it will take a while to enter into the blood stream and thus a while before one feels the effects. Smoking it brings the effects on much quicker, same with injecting it.

With injecting it however comes the dangers of HIV or what is know as 'shooters abscess' (pictured to the right). It is quite common to see the scars from these on the men we work with.

Cocaine is a strong central nervous system stimulant. Its effects can last from 20 minutes to several hours, depending upon the dosage of cocaine taken, purity, and method of administration.

The initial signs of stimulation are hyperactivity, restlessness, increased blood pressure, increased heart rate and euphoria. The euphoria is sometimes followed by feelings of discomfort and depression and a craving to experience the drug again. Sexual interest and pleasure can be amplified. Side effects can include twitching, paranoia, and impotence, which usually increases with frequent usage.

Camp Video's 2007

2007-07-31T09:04:00.000-05:00

Dear Campers

I'm sorry for the muck up on camp video this year, however below are all the video's we showed at camp, click on the links to watch or download them. Happy viewing.

Cafe Catholica

2007-07-30T21:03:00.001-05:00

This afternoon we had a new guy show up at the House of Hospitality, although we've encountered him on Street Outreach 2-3 times. We've spoken about him in a previous post. Today he expressed wanting to go to rehab for his problem with alcohol.

The first time he was drunk was when he was 13 years old, and that was with his father. Throughout his teenage years he was more into smoking pot (marijuana) then he was into alcohol. He explained it was until he was about 19-20 years old that he really started drinking heavily. Over the past 20 years, the longest he's ever been sober is 10 months and that was with the help of AA. Part of today was spent phoning different rehabs to see who had room available; the best rehab that Nathaniel prefers to send people to denied him because he is HIV positive. So that was pretty unfortunate.

A lot of the men Emmaus encounters talk about getting jobs, going to rehab, or following through with this or that; but it's the following through part that's the problem. So although this guy says he wants to go to rehab and get back to a normal life, we're trying not to get our hopes up too much because in this type of ministry it's pretty common for people to fall back into their old habits.

This evening, Roger went to a young people's meeting (20-30 years old) called Cafe Catholica to recruit people to volunteer and to promote Emmaus. Several people signed up for information on volunteering and to be put on the Emmaus mailing list.

Lail is on Street Outreach tonight.

The Simpsons Movie!

2007-07-29T23:42:00.001-05:00

Since our last several posts have all been pretty heavy - drugs, abuse, fights, etc., we thought we would just do something fun. Today being Sunday, and are only day off during the week, we really try to avoid doing anything Emmaus related. So after church, we went to see The Simpson's Movie. It seriously feels like we've been waiting forever for it to come out. And it was worth the wait! It was a great movie! The entire theater was pretty full and everyone was cracking up, including us.

It had everything a Simpson's episode has and much, much more. Maggie even says her first, well technically second word. Lail vaguely remembers an episode of The Simpson's where Maggie calls Homer "dada" when both Bart and Lisa called him "Homer." Maybe someone can confirm that.

So basically it is a must see! That's all there really is to say about that. We don't want to give too much away. But here's the trailer if you've not seen it.