Being A Good Father

Getting it together as a dad

2009-01-25T10:54:00.000-08:00

Random thought for the day:

Being a good dad doesn't mean
I've got it all together all the time...

It just means that...

"Getting it together" in relationship to
Loving,
Caring for,
And being a positive influence
in the lives of my children...

Is an ongoing priority in my life.

Enjoy the day,

Lee

A Dad’s Life Tip For The Day...Give Space

2008-12-28T16:12:00.000-08:00

Hi,

Wrote this yesterday and thought I'd share it here.

Enjoy,

Lee

A Dad’s Life Tip For The Day...Give Space
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

Give space:
Give space to your children.

Give space when you can:
And most certainly when you must.

Give space when it’s safe and easy.
And when it’s not: give it anyway.

Give lots of emotional space:
More than you could ever dream possible.

But give it anyway.

Give space by...

Being flexible with rules,
Honoring decisions more than compliance,
Listening more (even though you could “tell” a lot more),
And loving whether it’s accepted, rejected
Or somewhere disarmingly in between.

Give space by...

Not attaching love to expectations,
Kind words solely to proper behavior,
And praise only when “all is in order.”

Life doesn’t come in a nice, neatly arranged package,
Dad’s most assuredly don’t arrive in that container,
And kids need to open their special delivery parcel...

In their own way,
Using their distinctive skills,
Driven by their unique desires,
Experiencing the fullness of their victories,
The results of their defeats,
And learning from both.

“Okay, smart guy...”
“Just how do you learn to give this space?”
And how do you know it’s the right kind to give?”

Honestly, I wish I knew the total answer to those questions,
but however you go about staying in the battle, I would
suggest that you:

Pray for discernment,
Seek counsel when needed,
Work as a team with your wife every inch of the way,
Be ready to go with your gut more than your fears,
And trust God for the results when you’ve done your best.

While I may be far, far from perfect in the “space giving
arena,” I can say this without any hesitation before God or
man:

Striving to give the right kind of space,
At the right time,
For all the right reasons,
Over the long haul...

Can build relationships like crazy.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this article. The copyright and this resource box must be
included.

Avoid pain/create pleasure. For A Beautiful Moment In Time
go here --> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net
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Listening and Being There

2008-11-23T14:54:00.000-08:00

Nothing new...

Very short comments: once again I've seen the importance of:

1. Being there.
2. Listening.

Major, major concepts to keep working on throughout all of
a dad's life.

Lee

21 Reasons I love being a dad

2008-06-20T10:09:00.000-07:00

Enjoy,

Lee

21 Reasons I Love Being A Dad
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

What you will read in the next five to eight minutes will
not qualify as one of the top ten professionally written
articles of the year: guaranteed.

But you will read this, guaranteed: thoughts created on
Father's Day from a guy who loves being a dad.

21 REASONS I LOVE BEING A DAD... AND AN OLDER ONE AT THAT

I love the privilege of seeking to inspire, encourage and
help my children.

I love loving their mother.

I love the home movies I experience. The live ones. The in
house "reality shows" if you please. Kids raggin' on each
other, telling mom and dad stories one more time, hugs at
the door, serious discussions begun spontaneously, phone
calls to say "Hi, I love you," and small hands pressed on a
glass door to see the wonder of all wonders: the neighbor's
black cat.

I love happy birthday songs: songs sung in love and received
the same way -- in love.

I love watching my kids with their kids.

I love the smiles of children and grandchildren.

I love good memories, family pictures on the walls, and
cards from "Father's Days past."

I love the journey of growing with my children.

I love helping when I can and hurting when I can't. No, I
don't enjoy the pain. It's the honor of trying to help
because "I'm a dad" that I enjoy.

I love the privilege of praying for my children. I have the
distinct honor of joining the heart of God with the needs,
desires and dreams of my children.

I love being able to say, "Forgive me" when needed.

I love hearing "Mammaw" sing songs to her grandchildren.

I love being called "Pap."

I love sharing the lives of the kids with their mother.

I love watching the joy in the eyes of my wife as she talks
on the phone with her children. (A *very* frequent event in
our home I might add!)

I love giving the grandkids back to my kids just about the
moment I think I'm going under (or moments thereafter!).

I love hearing the laughter of family in the other room.

I love being a friend as well as being a dad.

I love being a father-in-law.

I love memories of my dad loving me.

I love being challenged by my wife's love for each child,
grandchild, and son-in-law.

DID I MENTION...

I love being a dad?!

Yours for a day filled with beautiful moments in time,

Lee

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this article. The copyright and this resource box must be
included.

Avoid pain/create pleasure. For A Beautiful Moment In Time
go here --> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

On Being A Father

2008-06-12T20:01:00.000-07:00

Just wrote this... enjoy.

Lee

On Being A Father
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

Having a child make make me a father,
but only by having a good heart
will I ever be the father I should be.

25 Things That Matter When Relating To Our Children

2008-05-13T13:57:00.000-07:00

Hi,

I may comment on this more later, but I thought it would be good to post this at the present time. Also, it's just a good reminder!

Enjoy,

Lee

25 THINGS THAT MATTER WHEN RELATING TO OUR CHILDREN
(Short Shots On Leaving A Legacy Of Love To Those We Love)
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

In my opinion, these things matter...

1. Enjoying childlike delights before the child no longer
delights in being one.

2. Paying attention long enough to understand yet caring
enough to make a necessary correction once it's all
understood.

3. Responding to immaturity in a mature way.

4. Being silly when I can,
5. And fun when it's not cool to be silly.

6. Making time to listen when it's their time -- not just
"my time."

7. Being big enough to say "I was wrong,"
8. Sensitive enough to ask, "Will you forgive me?"
9. And courageous enough to correct my ways in the process.

10. Teaching by my actions that additional freedom is earned
by being responsible and not an automatic right acquired on
the date of the next birthday.

11. Sharing laughter for no other reason than laughter is
being shared with me.

12. Complimenting like crazy,
13. Avoiding foolish demands like the plague,
14. And hugging whether they are huggable or not.

15. Remembering that little people are no more -- but no
less than -- just that: little people.

16. Looking in the mirror and realizing "I'm one of the
little people who got older."

17. Making sure that "You've done well" doesn't always carry
with it "But you *should have* done better."

18. Knowing when to truthfully say "For this I am not
responsible: you are." (And living with myself once I've
said it.)

19. Knowing the importance of releasing without
disconnecting,
20. Being a friend while being a parent,
21. Listening to learn instead of waiting to tell,
22. And giving space without giving up.

23. Knowing the immense value of being able to say in the
end "I have done all I could reasonably do -- and then
some."

24. Taking time to show up when I can as opposed to wishing
I could when showing up is not possible (or even worse: not
wanted).

25. Loving with all my heart because in the end it's worth
it all.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this article. The copyright and this resource box must be
included.

Couldn't you use A Beautiful Moment In Time about now?
Go here --> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net
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Just thinking once again...

2007-12-16T17:58:00.000-08:00

I know I've shared these basic ideas before, but while sitting here at my desk (at home) and reflecting a bit, I'm continually "amazed" at these basics in relationship to our efforts to build and maintain strong family relationships:

Careful, determined, heart felt listening.
Sharing that builds the other person up through things such as affirmation and encouragement.
Not giving up. Trying hard, failing, and making the decision to keep on moving as best as we can throughout a variety of situations and stages in life.
Enjoying what you, when you can, relative to each family member in terms of who they are... from the little ones to the big ones.
If married, constantly loving your wife. I really believe one of the greatest gifts a dad can give his kids is loving and cherishing his wife.
Working at enjoying life in general. In my case, that would include asking the Lord to give me his joy in daily live.
Related to the above (and in relationship to myself coming from faith-based perspective), striving to stay "connected" with the Lord whenever and however I can.

Nothing new... just a dad's perspective while accomplishing other tasks at the desk.

The best to you and those you love in all things,

Lee

On Being Grateful ... One More Time

2007-11-22T09:29:00.000-08:00

On Being Grateful... One More Time
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

I'm thankful for...

People loving people when they don't need to or would rather
not... but they do so anyway.

The ability to see colors and the on-going ability to see things I
never realized or comprehended previously.

Fighting that ends -- whether it's between countries, in
marriages, or between little friends or big kids who should
no better in the first place.

The beauty, simplicity and healing power of laughs of all kinds...

Weird ones,
Louder than you'd like ones,
Barely above the sound threshold ones,
And ones that make your stomach ache despite any feeble
attempts to stop the process.

Dreams that create ways to help, heal, motivate, inspire,
and conceive dreamers who repeat the process.

Teachers who give more than they receive and know more than
they share because they they'd rather build up than tear down, see
eyes brighten with every new discovery, and design for others
ways to enjoy and improve the one life they've been given.

Soldiers who defend for all the right reasons instead of
maiming and destroying for every wrong one in the book.

Moms who love their kids, kids who love their moms, and
dads who love them both.

Butterfly Kisses that mean so much more than the song ever could
because of lyrics played during the ever changing rhythms of daily
life.

Those who really do help little old ladies across the street, and little
old ladies and gentlemen who preserve the art of caring by
living and loving in ways that leave legacies of hope for each of
their watching worlds.

Dogs at the neighbors that don't bark and barking neighbors who
don't live near me.

Cars that run,
Empty bathrooms during times of ultimate crisis,
Spyware that works,
And cats that quickly leave my back door.

Minds that remember what they should while forgetting what
is brought to mind because they love people more than they do
grudges that don't matter anyway.

Addicts who win,
And athletes who know and show the difference between winning
at life and simply taking a win to the next game.

In short, I'm grateful for my life
And the God who entrusted me with the same.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this writing. The copyright and this resource box must be
included.

Avoid pain/create pleasure. For A Beautiful Moment In Time
go here --> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Listen when the guy's been a jerk, and don't jerk her bruised emotional chain while she's down. Care, listen, and care yet more."

2007-11-19T10:55:00.000-08:00

"Listen when the guy's been a jerk, and don't jerk her bruised emotional chain while she's down. Care, listen, and care yet more."

As I continue to make comments on my previous article (Daughters, Dads and Listening), here are today's brief reflections on the point referred to above:

You notice the emphasis on care and I personally can't emphasize this enough.

As she grows older and matures this never -- ever -- changes.

You will hurt as a dad listening during this process: but keep on listening.

Two words you will need to comprehend (at least in this dad's opinion: listen and release.

Listen.

Allow words and feelings to flow at will.
Reflect caring and concern any way possible.

Control anger if the guy's really been a jerk.

Share insights and advice if and when appropriate.
Don't damage already damaged emotions.
Reinforce love and acceptance every step of the way.

Operate as a team with your wife if married. "Bring each other in" on the everything as teammates in the healing process, and keep demonstrating love to your wife through it all.

Pray like crazy throughout the emotionally battle scarred journey.

And "release" your daughter to God and herself so she reflect, emote, and make her own choices.

Then...

Be ready to repeat the process again.
My guess is you will need to.

Lee

Notes on trust to a friend

2007-11-13T11:43:00.000-08:00

Hi,

A friend stopped in to my world for a few moments recently,
we interacted for a while, and then both of us stepped back
into the demands of our everyday worlds.

Reflecting on our conversation, I decided to write him a
short note (which follows).

I include it here because of the subject: trust. It seems to
come back again and again in my life -- and, because I
believe the process I've described is so important for me
as a dad. Obviously, my perspective is faith-based so it
would not apply to everyone.

But it certainly does to me.

May this brief post be encouraging to you, dad. Ours is
a high privilege, high honor, and high responsibility role.

Lee

*** Notes On Trust To A Friend ***

"Thanks for stopping in to chat. I thoroughly enjoyed our
time together and appreciate the desire of your heart to
serve the Lord in all areas of your life.

At times I feel that our lives with Jesus can be reduced to
what might be termed "drastically simple."

Simple,
But not simplistic.

I look back on our walk with Jesus and so much of it seems
to be...

1. Dedicating ourselves and to the Lord.

2. Trusting God for some aspect of our lives -- including
those reoccurring failed expectations.

4. Releasing people and situations into His hands.

5. Continuing our faith walk as best as possible.

And then the cycle repeats itself again.

The cycle molds us, shapes us for future life and ministry,
and sometimes just helps us get through the day.

At least that's how we have experienced it in our own lives.

May the Lord continue to bless,

Lee"

Affirmation... a reminder

2007-10-29T10:02:00.000-07:00

While in class today one of my students shared how someone dear to him spontaneously said six words.

Just six.

Six words that sent him on an emotional high for the day -- and beyond.

"Thanks for treating me well today."

And here's the interesting aspect of this short snippet out of his life: the six words were not shared because his actions consistently would be categorized as negative.

Rather, his practice weighs on the positive side of the emotional scale.

A few considerations come to mind while reflecting on fathering:

1. How little it takes to lift up the heart of another person: six words and a heart is encouraged.

2. The importance of affirmation in the lives of people.

3. The value of verbalizing our positive thoughts to others.

As dads we can say a little...
But a little -- said well -- can provide days of encouraging thoughts to our children.

Something to think about.
And do.

May God give us the ability to be alert while parenting our children.

Lee

Involvement...such a simple thing

2007-10-27T17:11:00.000-07:00

Involvement... Such A Simple Thing

____________________
Neat To Watch

Dad enters the door, late, after a long work day, gets a quick bite in the kitchen...

And the two kids were already carrying on, beginning what looked like kangaroo exercises, and proudly told Mammaw and Pap: "We're going to have a movie night.

Sure, it took two -- both husband and wife -- but the "movie night" took shape.

Lights out.
Sleeping materials on the floor.
Popcorn made by dad and now ready to eat.

And the movies began.
____________________
Being Involved In The Simple Things

Sometimes being a good dad in my opinion simply means being involved in the simple things with your children: such as what took place in our home last evening.

I saw it, liked it, and thought I'd share it.

Enjoy the evening, dads!

Lee

Avoiding The Pitfalls Of Being An Insensitive Dad

2007-10-08T07:56:00.001-07:00

Avoiding The Pitfalls Of Being An Insensitive Dad
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

I WAS AMAZED

I could hardly believe what I was hearing. A father and
his son had entered the men's room. While I was washing my
hands, I listened as the father wielded a series of
demanding and demeaning statements at his son as if they
were swords in a battle for ... who knows what?

And all about going to the bathroom quickly!

It was the perfect victory. The enemy (the son) had been
slain. The battle was won. The general had summoned his
one-man army to do his bidding.

It was also totally and completely ridiculous. There was
no consideration for the feelings or physical needs of
the young person.

The "bad boy" had won the day -- and the bad boy was not
the son.

It was the son's insensitive dad.

I WAS SADDENED AND ANGRY

This incident occurred while on vacation. I loved vacation
except for one aspect: watching fathers deal with their
children.

I was sad.
And I was angry.

The "interesting" thing was that when I related this
observation to my daughter and son-in-law, they proceeded
to share with me *their* same discouragement while they were
on a recent trip to a theme park.

Their message was the same:

"We had a great time.
The only discouraging thing was
seeing dads with their children."

I AGREE: IT'S NOT EASY

I am a father and I would be among the first to declare that
raising children is not an easy task.

Parts of it are rough.
Real rough.

I would also be quick to admit the times I have failed as a
father.

But I do hope that no one has ever said this about me after
observing my relationship with either my children or grand-
children:

"We saw the most discouraging thing today.

This guy was a jerk. The way he treated those kids was
awful.

No respect. No honor.

Only demands and unrealistic expectations. I tell ya,
it was sad."

WE KNOW THERE IS A BETTER WAY

Let me be quick to add: all is not bad. I have seen many
loving, caring fathers throughout the years. I *love*
watching those types of dads relate to their children. It
is one of my personal delights in life :)

With that in mind, I am offering a few simple suggestions
for a better way: a better way for fathers to relate to
their children than the two negative examples I have shared
with you.

I will center my suggestions on five themes:

1. Consideration
2. Respect
3. Humility
4. Compassion
5. Love

Two comments as I transition into my suggestions:

*You will quickly discover that this will not be a long
and drawn out discussion of these themes. Enjoy.

*Many of the points will be shared through using simple
"affirmations" -- or descriptive comments if you
please. These affirmations will help you personalize
what is said.

So...

We have discussed a few of the "bad boy" characteristics.

Let's turn our attention to five characteristics of the
"good boys." That is, men who are determined *not* to be
thought of as "one of those insensitive dads."

CONSIDERATION

Consideration says...

"I adjust my expectations according to the needs, maturity
level and emotional capabilities of the child I am relating
to at the moment."

Because of the important aspects of the statement you just
read, I'm going to repeat it and break it down for you.

That's my part.

Yours will be to reflect on each aspect as you read it one
more time. Reflect on it through the lens of how you would
have liked to be treated as a young-person-in-the-making.

"I adjust

My expectations

According to

The needs,

Maturity level

And emotional capabilities

Of the child

I am relating to

At the moment."

RESPECT

Respect says...

"I see this person entrusted to my care as one who is worthy
of my honor, approval and love."

This mental stance provides for me a frame. A frame I wrap
around my child *to begin with.* The child is worthy of my
honor, approval and love -- from the beginning.

It is a part of the package each child should *sense* in me
from "Day One" so-to-speak.

HUMILITY

Humility says...

"Because I am still learning, I give my child space and time
to learn."

"Because I still fail, I forgive and support my child when
he or she fails."

"Because I respond poorly when people are angry with me for
reasons I do not understand, I resist all uncontrolled and
self-centered anger when dealing with my child."

COMPASSION

Compassion says...

"I am a 'show and tell' person.

*I show my child I care.
*I tell my child I care."

"I strive to be gentle, not harsh."

"I care and my child senses it."

LOVE

Love says... all of the above.

A DISCLAIMER

Let me make something perfectly clear: children can -- and
do -- hurt their parents: good parents.

Parents who in a very real sense lay down their lives for
their kids and still get kicked in the guts while trying to
help their children be happy and succeed in life.

These parents know a special kind of pain. A pain that no
one really wants to understand. I salute those parents.

You may be one of them.

So my disclaimer is...

*I realize this is a two-sided fence

*My purpose is not to add guilt to a conscience
already plagued by the "Why's" of their child's
bad attitudes and behavior -- in spite of hundreds
of hours of trying to do what's right.

Rather, if you happen to be one of those parents --
and especially a dad since that is the topic of these
comments -- I want you to hear these words:

"I thank you for trying."

I thank you for trying and for the lonely hours
you have spent that only you, and possibly your
spouse -- and God -- knows about...

The tears. The heartache and the pain that goes
on and on as each new report surfaces about some
action or attitude your child has displayed."

For those times, tears and heartache -- I reflect
to you my appreciation. And I'm sure I
represent only one of many voices that would
echo the same to you if they could.

Therefore, review these comments and take note
of each positive thing you have done. Take a
bow. You deserve it."

Yours for a day filled with beautiful moments in time,

Lee

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this writing. The copyright and this resource box must be
included.

Avoid pain/create pleasure. For A Beautiful Moment In Time
go here --> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"Listen when life treats her well. Share the joys, freakish highs,..."

2007-09-22T13:02:00.000-07:00

"Listen when life treats her well. Share the joys, freakish highs, and every level of joyful emotion in between."

Again, expanding on the article I posted earlier, here are several additional comments...

There's a simple rule of thumb here: delight in her delights.

Shared delight = multiplied moments of potential interaction, bridge building and the on-going cultivation of mutual respect.

I believe this happens *because as dads we choose to make it happen.* At 45 I may not relate to a momentary high of a fifteen year old being we term human...

But I can *choose* to capture the joy she reflects at the moment and make it an immediate personal treasure because:

1. I value my daughter.
2. I value the bond that shared joy creates.

Yes, this too takes time.
But it's time well spent.

"Listen to the story of her life in grade three because..."

2007-09-21T06:50:00.000-07:00

"Listen to the story of her life in grade three because you want her to tell you a whole lot more when she's twenty-three, thirty-three and forty-three."

Reflecting more on this statement from my earlier article...

The stories vary in length and intensity, but the commitment
to listen to those stories means a real commitment on our
parts as fathers.

I see this process as saying...

"Regardless of where you find yourself located in this world
-- or what stage of life you find yourself experiencing --
the story of your life matters to me.

It really matters.

It matters enough for me to take the time, reflect the
interest and to the extent that wisdom and circumstances
allow...to become involved."

Note the process: it starts when they are young and
continues into the adult years.

In one sense I believe we as parents continually "earn" the
privilege of being involved in the lives of our children.

And, in my opinion a key factor in maintaining that on-going
privilege is remaining close enough to be invited in to
their stories...

When,
Where,
And how...

They want to share them with us.

It's an honor.
A true honor.

How To Be A Good Parent -- A Daughter's View

2007-09-19T13:44:00.001-07:00

Hi,

I just ran across this "article" from a daughter speaking about her dad.
I love seeing thoughts like this about a positive family unit.

Here is just one of the statements from her article:

"He was always there for me and my sister and I can honestly say that my Dad gives me even more support now that I am not living at home and have a family of my own."

Here's the link if you want to read the entire thing. Great thoughts.
Hat's off to this dad!

How to be a good dad - a daughter's view

"Listen when she needs a friend more than a father."

2007-09-04T17:05:00.000-07:00

"Listen when she needs a friend more than a father."

Returning the point made above from my article,

I can't even begin to overemphasize the importance of doing
everything we can to befriend our children.

And quite naturally I'm partial to being a "dad friend" to
his daughter.

Like so many parenting characteristics, the price continues
to be time, sensitivity, self-control, prayer, and listening.

There's a time not to...

Give advice -- even if it's good,
Offer six steps the any solution,
Or correct.

And there's a time to simply...

Listen,
Seek to identify with emotions shared,
Create moments of laughter,
And offer a heart-felt hug.

Friends do that.
Friends do that again and again.

On Developing Character

2007-08-31T07:40:00.000-07:00

Hi,

Obviously, developing and maintaining our character
as men is a very important aspect of being a good father.

This short quote speaks to that topic.

Enjoy,

Lee

CHARACTER
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

The determination to live a noble life:
a life framed by love, molded by integrity,
rooted in truth, and inspired by the hope
of being a positive influence in the world.

The "Fab Four" That Will Get You Into Trouble

2007-08-29T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hi,

Obviously, being a good dad involves the continual process
of developing as a good person.

I penned this article sometime back and thought I would post
it here. It ties in with some of the thoughts on another
recent post relative to things to avoid as a father.

Enjoy,

Lee

THE "FAB FOUR"... THAT WILL GET YOU INTO TROUBLE
(And... Another 4 That Will Help You Stay Out Of Trouble)
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

Want to get into trouble quick? Practice the first
"fabulous four" below and you will.

Want help in staying out of trouble? Strive to put into
practice the second "fabulous four" and it will help.

THE "FABULOUS FOUR" THAT WILL GET YOU INTO TROUBLE

The First...

Lack of self-control.

If I have a major area of weakness, don't respect my
tendencies toward self-addiction in that area, and show
little, if any, self restraint when it comes to taking the
proper precautions that could cause my downfall, I am bound
to get into trouble.

The Second...

Anger and violence.

Ever hear of "road rage"? And what about rage in general?
Anger that is not consistently managed well will get me
into trouble.

Violent actions repeated on a regular basis: these will most
assuredly cause me to be entrapped in a snare of my own
making. Not to mention the agony and despair my actions
could force on others.

The Third...

Being argumentative.

Not as serious as rage and violence, but deadly in terms of
building relationships with others.

Don't be a person who is quick to fight: a verbal gladiator
if you please.

Get a reputation of being a snappy, cantankerous person and
watch the distance between you and others increase over
time.

Lonely is not a pretty word.
And a much less pretty experience.

The Fourth...

Loving money the wrong way.

And by the wrong way I mean placing too high a value on
gaining wealth with little concern how it is acquired.

In the end, I will lose in the process of "gaining" if I
remain out of balance in my approach to the acquisition of
wealth.

THE "FAB FOUR" THAT WILL HELP YOU STAY OUT OF TROUBLE

The First...

Be friendly.

Genuinely care for people.

It's an "old" truth but true nonetheless: people like
friendly people.

If I work on being friendly, it will help me stay out of
trouble with others.

Is that a guarantee?
Of course not.
But being friendly does help.

The Second...

Be faithful.

Be faithful in your relationships and responsibilities.
People like people they can count on.

People respond well to people they can trust.

The Third...

Share good advice.

Excellent counsel given at the right time, with right
motives, in the right way is invaluable.

People appreciate people who share practical tips for living
with them -- especially when the timing is right.

The Fourth...

Show respect to people.

Value their talents, be sympathetic during their ups and
downs, share their joys, and express understanding in the
middle of their hardships.

Treat people with dignity.

People value respectful people.

A "BONUS FAB FOUR" JUST FOR YOU

Number One...

Grow in your ability to influence others in a positive way.
Doing so can bring you personal satisfaction and a deep
sense of accomplishment.

Give yourself the gift of growing in your leadership
abilities.

Number Two...

Gain experience or knowledge that will cause you to grow,
advance, become better, or give you an emotional lift.

Give yourself the gift of time for self-development.

Number Three...

Follow the powerful and productive desires of your heart.

Honor them.
Make room for them.
Cultivate them.

Give yourself the gift of pursuing the positive passions of
your heart.

And Number Four...

Continually strive for balance.

Seek to balance...

Work with pleasure.
Seriousness with laughter.
Self-development with "down time."
Caring for others with caring for yourself.
Personal discipline with spontaneous creativity.

A SUGGESTED STRATEGY FOR PERSONAL GROWTH

1. Review each "fab four" set.
2. Highlight what interests you.
3. Take some action as soon as possible.
4. Celebrate after the action has been taken.
5. Plan the next action you will take.
6. Summarize your thoughts and actions in a success
journal.
7. Repeat the process.

Yours for a day filled with beautiful moments in time,

Lee

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© Lee Wise All rights reserved. You may freely distribute
this article. The copyright and this resource box must be
included.

Avoid pain/create pleasure. For A Beautiful Moment In Time
go here --> http://www.motivation-for-daily-living.net
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Tips on Being A Good Dad

2007-08-28T07:51:00.000-07:00

Hi,

I believe I counted 14 tips on being a good dad in this article: two of which are posted for you here.

Some good material in this post: you may want to stop by and read the remainder of these good ideas.

Enjoy,

Lee

Tips For Being a Good Dad

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding yet challenging jobs you can have. No one is born being a natural mom or dad; these skills are learned. Here are some tips to help you be the best father you can be for your kids:

Start Early, Never Stop - Begin your relationship with your son or daughter at birth. It is never too early to talk, tickle, caress, kiss, and play with your child – the sooner, the better. Equally important, don’t stop! Showing affection, asking questions, sharing your world, and getting to know your baby – these are the building blocks to a strong relationship.
Realize That No One Is a Natural - No one is born a dad or mom. Your responsibility is to make the time and commit the energy to learn the skills you will need to be a caring, compassionate, and competent dad. The learning never ends and kids are great teachers!

In My Opinion...Three Things To Avoid As Dads

2007-08-24T12:48:00.000-07:00

In My Opinion...

Among the many practices in life we should try to avoid as
fathers would be at least these three. (I may comment more
later).

1. Bitterness
2. Anger
3. Slander

____________________
On Bitterness

I should strive to model for my children (and grandchildren)
becoming better and avoid the practice of becoming bitter.

How quick do I reveal any form of bitterness and for how
long of a period of time?

Can you imagine the effects on children who "acquire" the
habit of being bitter because of what their eyes see, their
ears hear, and their hearts perceive over a long period of
time?

It can't be positive.

Maybe one way to avoid the trap of being bitter would be to:

1. Stay alert -- paying close attention when the emotion or
thought begins.

2. Determine a positive action or thought to immediately
take it's place.

3. Take the action or replace the thought.

Enjoy,

Lee

On Being A Good Dad

2007-08-24T08:10:00.001-07:00

Hi,

I love writing short thoughts I term "quotes."

Just created this about two minutes ago and though
I'd share it.

May you and those you love have a wonderful day,

Lee

On Being A Good Dad...
© Lee Wise All rights reserved

It's a lot about guts
And a lot less about glory.

It's more about love
Than it is about getting loved in return.

It's a lot about caring
Even when caring is way beyond cool.

And it's a whole bunch about time:
Time, and time, and time again.

On being a faithful dad

2007-08-23T05:47:00.000-07:00

Hi,

I was reviewing this quote this morning and thought
it might be a good post here in terms of being faithful
fathers to our children. Of course, it applies in many
areas.

Enjoy,

Lee

Being there when I don’t have to,
staying when I don’t want to,
encouraging when I need to,
and loving whether I’d love to or not.

"Listen when she's down -- no matter how long it takes." A few more thoughts on potential benefits

2007-08-22T12:11:00.000-07:00

"Listen when she's down -- no matter how long it takes."

Continuing thoughts on this issue, I would say that trying to put this into practice (i.e. committing to it) has the following potential results or benefits:

1. The heart of the daughter learns to trust the heart of the father.

2. A relationship builds that tends to last over the long haul.

3. For a faith-based individual, insights are gained that help in praying for your daughter.

4. Each time spent builds a foundation for future times of interaction on a variety of topics -- including just the fun times.

5. The practice lays the foundation for being available when your daughter takes one or more "hits" from life that is bound to happen.

6. Hopefully, if we as fathers listen well during the down times, it will be something she will look for in potential marriage partner.

That's all for right now.

Enjoy,

Lee

On listening to your daughter when she's down

2007-08-21T07:05:00.000-07:00

"Listen when she's down -- no matter how long it takes."

Reflecting briefly today on the thought above, I can't even
begin to tell you how much this does -- or could -- mean to
your daughter.

One of my top ten topics regarding my advice to fathers
would be to "listen when she's down."

Listen to her heart.
Listen to her express whatever is on her heart.

Share her emotions, her struggles, her dreams and her dreams
gone amuck.

Listen with your heart.

Make a commitment to this practice.
It is a time commitment.

Listen when it's needed,
However long it's needed,
For the long haul.

At least that's my personal thoughts on the matter.

I use the word "striving" here (and in other places) because
I know I never arrive.

My wife and I do not entertain "arrived" thoughts in terms
of parenting.

We simply keep trying, learning, and growing.

That's my disclaimer here: I can't say I'm perfect at this
by a long shot.

But I can say I work at it.

Whoa... this turned out to be longer than expected. I may
revisit or continue this soon.

At any rate, when I think of striving to be a good father,
this is high on my list.

Enjoy the day, dad.

Lee