Ladycrackerland

Relief

2007-04-19T16:48:00.000+10:00

I want it to rain.
I want it to get wet and cold and dreary.
Curse this infernal sunshine!

hospitals and setbacks

2007-04-13T11:19:00.000+10:00

Errgh, smoked a cigarette last night. Disappointing, but the patches are back on today.

Toured Mercy hospital with T to look at the birthing options. Felt a strange painful feeling in my uterus. We are close so no doubt it is some sort of sympathy pain.

Lately I have been fantasising about old age. MLI will be the world's grumpiest old man and I will probably be the old lady down the road who either scares the little children or can't leave the house without matching my ensemble within three shades of pink.

I think I'm enjoying this hermitage. I feel less inclined to seek the company of others. My inner life is becoming increasingly desirable. I feel a positive change is under way.

Day two

2007-04-12T10:57:00.000+10:00

50 minute swim last night - felt good
So far I have saved 30 dollars and not smoked 60 cigarettes.
I think I'm going to get sick of this vege soup pretty quickly. Will have to find some more recipes.
My beautiful grey and sliver metallic scarf is almost complete. This weekend I plan to vist my aunty, hem my hot pink dress, finish my scarf, dry brush myself into a distracted state, deep cleanse like a mother fucker, start the liver tonic course and run 7 ks.

Once I have coerced my body into accepting all of these changes I'll start on trying to improve my mind. Can't do it all at once and the sugary sweet confection of undemanding reading material is too hard to resist.

A change

2007-04-11T09:38:00.000+10:00

This blog is about to become nothing more than a notepad for my latest birth.

So far:
3 days without cigarettes,
5 days without drinking,
1 day of gym membership
3 months til I turn 30,
3 months out from a lifetime of fun can't be that bad can it?

So close

2007-03-28T09:42:00.000+10:00

Sometimes you are afforded an opportunity that will either live up to your greatest expectations or leave you dribbling in a messy pile of the blues. Last night was one of these golden moments. I was unexpectedly handed a ticket to see the greatest ever indie band, The Pixies, play in a very small,intimate venue; The Northcote Social Club.

The photos I have don't do it justice and I vow to take a better camera next Wednesday when I see them again.

I'm not a highly emotional concert goer really, not when it comes to heroes. But when Frank Black was screaming out the words to "Tame" my breath caught in my throat a way I haven't experienced in years and for that I say thank you.

dream life

2007-03-06T09:43:00.000+11:00

I dreamt I was the muse of Henri Cartier-Bresson last night and that he discovered me in a Sportgirl. What ever could this mean?

Not something I'll let their mother know.

2007-02-03T10:29:00.000+11:00

Firstly, I have a fancy new scanner and printer and this is my first attempt at trying to "make the art" with it.

Okay.

5 and 7 join me in a regular Saturday ritual. I meet one of my old friends at Booktalk on Bridge Rd Richmond, dump our respective brood by the second hand book section, order milkshakes and shoot the breeze uninterrupted for all of 2 hours. It is pleasure and I look forward to the next one.

The last part of the ritual includes a treat for 5 and 7. Each gets to choose a book under $5.00 to take home. 7 will scan the shelves with great seriousness until she finds the perfect book. This book will then by read anywhere and everywhere at least three times over before the end of the weekend, which is lovely for 7's intellect but appallingly bad for 7's table manners.

5 on the other hand will grab any old thing that catches her eye and run with it. Hence I inadvertently bought her a MOST inappropriate book.

"Poison Beware: Be an ace poison spotter" starts off simply enough with bright cartoons of kitchen, bathroom and garages filled with all sorts of nasties then quickly moves on to snakes and spiders. When I was first reading the book to 5 in bed one night I was congratualting her privately on her eccentric and inquisitive nature. That was unitl I got to this page...

The answer to this most shocking of questions...

THAT's RIGHT! - the person throwing up out of the window!
Praise be! Finally the stepkids are getting the education they so richly deserve.

It only gets worse though when we turn the page to...

and the answer this probing question is two fold.

and

.

In short - you can spot a drug taker because they all believe that they can fly and steal money from little old ladies on the streets. If only I had been provided this information years ago.

I'm glad that I have a copy of "Poison Beware: be an ace posion spotter" in the house because I do find spotting the difference between an alky and a druggie so very, very difficult. It might be a little early to send the girls out on a game of spotlight using this book but no doubt they'll find it more fun than a game of "count-the-white-cars" on our campervan trip in September. til then this book will be safely hidden away next to the toilet cleaner.

And I'll probably take a closer look at the books 5 chooses next time.

Suspicious

2007-02-02T08:40:00.000+11:00

"The Secret Of Success Is Knowing Who To Blame"

Fantasy

2007-01-31T10:44:00.000+11:00

Occasionally I will fantasise that I am the world's best saw player and that I have 6 children and we all play in a gypsy band and live in a bus.

Fetish #1

2007-01-30T09:57:00.000+11:00

Indulge in some frothy confections here
Hear that? It is the sound of my bathroom scale breaking.

My workplace

2007-01-29T17:10:00.000+11:00

Thursday afternoon brought to light that each member of the staff of S - - - - R - - - - - - seems to have a stubby cooler stashed at their desk.

How very interesting.

Compassion

2007-01-10T11:44:00.000+11:00

The family has gone away for a few days leaving me chained to the desk until I can get away next week. I'm missing them all terribly. The little girls, 4 and 7, rang me to let me know that they missed me. Lovely little people they are.

I think they must be reaching an age where compassion rears its head. I came home last week and MLI grabbed me and took me around to the side garden where he said he had something really sweet to show me.

On arrival I found a mound of dirt covered with white paper and held down with rocks.

Here is the close up, which reads; "Here lies a dead bird we found in the garden. R. I. P Bird".

I think that is just the most adorable thing ever. Don't you?

Satisfying

2007-01-10T11:37:00.000+11:00

For those of you who are still waiting on your samples from my new enterprise, never fear, they are in the post!

SUMMER

2007-01-03T11:09:00.000+11:00

Something good

2006-12-07T11:09:00.000+11:00

The tests are in and my mother doesn't have cancer.

Rights

2006-11-30T13:15:00.000+11:00

I went to the MCG Rally and then marched to the Fed Square earlier today before running back to my desk job. It felt good.

The kids I went with made this banner.

My union from far away. I was late, thought they would be wearing blue, so I got lost and ended up opposite.

Your Rights At Work: worth fighting(voting)for.

Book Magazine Book

2006-11-28T10:28:00.000+11:00

Have you heard about Book Magazine Book? I found out in an accidental but timely fashion as the inaugural edition was posted to moi, full of the possibilty that is a book of blank pages, last week.

With much trepidation I have set myself to the task of being the first contributor. Below is my take on the theme "start(le)".

If you are keen on getting involved get in touch with the Book Magazine Book collective via the website linked above.

Movember

2006-11-24T10:07:00.000+11:00

Sorry guys I couldn't make it after all. Go here to support those that can.

It had to go. Food was getting caught in it.

Mistress

2006-11-23T10:31:00.000+11:00

Blondes, Brunettes and Redheads don't worry me. But, if a woman turned up in black and white and you could "fill her out" with a pen, I'd be in strife.

Guinea Pigs needed.

2006-11-22T10:43:00.000+11:00

Any bloggers who have met me would be aware that I have an interest in natural skincare bordering on obsessive. Early in the year I had a false start at getting a hobby business up and running and gave some samples to these lovely blogging ladies.

After months of research, test trials and a complete about face of what I actually want to put out there, I have a new range of delicious items that are about a month off being ready to go. So, I come to you, small readership, with a request.

If you would like to receive some small samples of yummy body and bath products please get in touch via(ladycracker@gmail.com). I don't ask anything in return except some considered feedback. I have 5 packs that will be delivered within the month.

Deletion

2006-11-17T08:30:00.000+11:00

Blogliners, that last post was deleted for very good reason. Don't drink and blog etc etc.

Improvement

2006-11-15T10:37:00.000+11:00

My mood has improved somewhat with the health calamities calming down to slightly disfigured and disgruntled only. The suspected psychic wounds of Saturday are only surface scratches and while I can't do much to change the problems of my sister in law, I can at least reach out to my brother and let him know how I feel.

So let's just carry on then shall we?

I've been struggling with posting my experiences here lately. The combinations of a busy work, home and social life, cash flow worries plus generally slightly grumpy feelings have left me uninspired. I'm going to try to improve this as I've always found my little quiet space very comforting. I have been most neglectful in writing anything of interest about the wedding/honeymoon period. I guess I should take advantage of the current Mercury retrograde period and post a retrospective of the last few months to pull me out of my slump.

Thank you to the persistent commmenters. I've been so slack in responding to your comments and I have no excuse except I feel so drained and disppointed in myself at the moment. When I feel like that I withdraw into a small place inside me and wait there until some equilibrium is restored. I can feel the warmth returning now.

Pouring

2006-11-13T11:22:00.000+11:00

For it nevers rains does it?

I think this week has been one of the worst and for the sake a sook I shall list my woes below.

1. A raging eye infection. Words don't describe my grotesque visage.
2. A terrible head cold.
3. To put it quaintly, the painters are in and I'm having a complete renovation it seems.
4. MLI and I had one of the stormiest, ugliest and ultimately distressing arguments this weekend. Thankfully it has been resolved but I suspect it has left some psychic wounds.
5. My mother is due to have a bone scan to determine whether or not she has cancer.
6. My sister in law and her family are returning home for the states after some awful experiences with the American corporate environment.
7. An immediate family member is refusing to invite me to their wedding. Devastating news that has had me on the edge of tears for three days.

I'm going back to bed.

Sometimes they get it so right don't they?

2006-11-03T11:58:00.000+11:00

My Friday morning office ritual includes the digestion of Popbitch and The Village Voice. With the Voice, I always go straight to Freewill Astrology. Today's little snippet revealed the following:

Columnist Jon Carroll once listed the 100 best human artifacts. They included things like clocks, screwdrivers, shoelaces, and Band-Aids. But in your horoscope this week, I especially want to call your attention to the following items from his master list: pillows, mirrors, balls, masks, swings, lipstick, stirrups, playing cards, and pear nectar. There's a good chance that these best-ever creations will be featured in the effervescent adventures you'll soon have. Or at least they should be featured.

That sounds like my weekend is all planned out doesn't it? Photo evidence will soon follow.

The Zen of Kato

2006-10-27T12:27:00.000+10:00

OR
Seeing bands that were last popular in the 90's: a pros and cons analysis by Ladycracker.

PROs

1. Nash stills rocks the long hair with a certain amount of pizazz. He also looks rather good in a purple two piece velvet suit.

2. When I was chatting to the band later, the bassist mentioned that I was the only girl in the middle of a "sausage factory" which amused me. You take that as you will but remember - I am a married woman and happily so.

3. Mr Nash Kato very graciously offered to sing "Girl, You'll Be A Woman Soon" at a future wedding redux.

4. Nash Kato is good for the economy. The babysitters of Melbourne were well employed last night with just about everyone heading into the two kids and a mortgage territory and as a result rocking out in a BIG way.

5. To this end, I WAS THE YOUNGEST PERSON IN THE ROOM. I feel practically emo about that one.

CONS

1. The fact that I was the youngest person in the room is testament to what can be kindly referred to as a misspent youth and I really should be ashamed of myself.

2. They did not play Dropout. Gutted.

3. Tour tshirts people. Fucking work it out. Girl have breasts, bellies and backs. Design your shirts to fit them. We are not one size fits all.

4. Nash didn't wear the glasses. Another dream has ended.

5. Did I mention that they didn't play Dropout?

Have a good weekend all. Stay away from them sausage factories.

xx LC