No Shit!?

Huzzah!

2009-11-01T20:15:00.002+08:00

Once again, I am saved by the wonders of the world through extreme misrepresentation. I am now, free from the angry angry man who wasn't the least bit intrigued by other people and am now a foolish, foolish youth(?) completely at the mercy of whatever magical fancy takes hold of me.

P.S. It has always been a fantasy to be able to shoot at someone while in the service of the nation. I may be disappearing for a couple of weeks, and it is my greatest wish that one such opportunity will arise while I am carrying out whatever orders our glorious armed forces may have for me.

Think well of me, if you do not hear from me again!

A moment of clarity

2009-10-26T23:02:00.002+08:00

The past month has been a great big blur of being confounded. If you were to ask me what I have been doing for the past month, I'd probably take about a minute to dust off the cobwebs in the attic that is my cranium struggle to make sense of the fuzzy memories, describe random events not according to any discernible timeline and struggle to comprehend the gibberish that I had just let loose.

Presently simmering in bodily secretions and dirt accumulated over the course of the day, I would have trouble describing my day to you too. I mean, I woke up milled about the house whiling time away, ate, thought about several things that I wanted to do but lacked motivation to and am now here.

Which is why I am very thankful to all the various people who have helped to keep this period of time relatively less insane than it could have been. The many people who for some reason decided-unsolicited- to contact and/or ask me out to experience reality. Awesome people you guys. Even if I don't respond kindly-or even not at all. Thanks.

Thank God For Feminism.

2009-10-25T22:01:00.002+08:00

I was watching the Sex and the City movie on HBO and barely into the first hour of the movie I felt like blowing my brains out. The movie showcases some of the best moments of stupidity and entitlement by woman who should be fighting with mid life crises, yet behave like little girls. It's embarrassing watching supposedly smart, intelligent women act completely to the opposite and have it pass off in pop culture as something that young woman should aspire to be like.

Thank god I don't know anyone who watches Sex and the City, murder would be a very bad mark on my record.

Frightened Rabbit!

2009-10-16T13:18:00.002+08:00

Phenomenal Hand Clap Band 15 to 20 Video from Darling Department on Vimeo.

I think I might have just lost the last shred of interesting in me along with the past week. It's not been a conscious decision to have the life mysteriously sucked out of me. However, it's been a conscious decision to reinforce to wallow in this miserable puddle of funk. It's kind of weird because I absolutely hate feeling so lackadaisical, hiding away from people like a ninja and probably raising the ire of more than a few people. This is terrible, because as a person I'm unattractive enough to other people couple this with a lack of motivation and magic to pique the interest of people and I can forsee a future where I'm alone and living with my parents when I'm 50.

Help Wanted.

2009-10-15T23:23:00.003+08:00

I need to start giving a shit about my life again, soon. I mean, I have been absolutely without energy since being given leave yesterday. Five full days of time off from being a military man and the best I could come up with is to cower at home wasting away in sweat and dust.

I need to start getting excited about doing something soon.

Never too much sauce.

2009-10-12T18:43:00.001+08:00

I just thought the track was too good to not share it on the blog.

Must be a devil between us.

2009-10-11T17:28:00.004+08:00

Fat people shouldn't be allowed on the dance floor. Not only do they take up more space on the dance floor, their dancing usually consists of lethargic hand movements which is painful to watch and appears equally painful for them to execute.

It's not like being fat is an incurable disease. Not for most fat people out there anyway.

More often than not fatness is a lifestyle choice, and it's disgusting and an affliction upon society. Ugh. In other news, I think all this negativity is affecting my karmic balance such that I will never be able to fulfil my goals of getting involved with a Caucasian and also a girl who inspires truckloads of awe.

It has been an extremely bad habit; chasing butterflies that I'll never catch. I can't help that I'm not physically attractive. To be poor and ugly, it's a horrible thing.

Adventures of the not so interesting man.

2009-10-08T14:59:00.002+08:00

Left Behind - CSS

I've been sent home from the construction course early because the soldiers conducting the training had more urgent matters to deal with, what with the earth's population control measures taking place in our region. As a result training came to an abrupt halt on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, just as we had finished a batch of our very own hand churned cement, the Captain drove by with his Sergeant who dashed out of the utility vehicle making frantic cutting motions across his throat at the conducting officer in a lousy attempt at preventing the trainees (us) from realizing that something was amiss.

So, with training grinding to a screeching halt and nothing left for us to do, we got sent home and rewarded with leave until Sunday, while the folks in charge of training back at home camp decide what to do with us.

Goodbye, fulfillment. Goodbye, adventure.

I would have left if you could have taken me, but you can't even with your manpower shortages. I would have loved to join you in making a difference in so many different people's lives, instead of shutting myself up at home too lethargic to bother doing anything else, while you're preparing your wills and saying your goodbyes. The things that I watch pass by.

Goodbye adventure. Goodbye purpose and meaning.

The difference between construction workers and you

2009-10-04T18:15:00.002+08:00

is colour. Oh dearie me, Hello skin cancer.

Not In The People.

2009-09-30T16:36:00.002+08:00

I am afraid that I may have begun to accept that life was not as I had imagined-a many wondered splendour. It is, a collection of an enormous variety of personalities without any discernible point in their being.

Eventually most of these personalities will grow up to become selfish creatures each and everyone of them on course to hell. I mean, look at all the selfish and stupid people that we turn out into. What good are people who kill each and other and are selfish enough to seek betterment at the expense of other brethren. If we should all drop dead and die, very seriously speaking the world would be a better place. We'd stop destroying this earth and benefits loads of other living creatures.

I mean, the only good I think a person can be for is indulging vanity by creating legacies in the hope that the person will be remembered and celebrated-more often than not through procreation. Even that, isn't too appealing a prospect.

Ugh. More people who may potentially fuck up the world even more?

No thanks, I'll pass.

Mooncake Madness!

2009-09-27T20:13:00.001+08:00

Rows and rows of homemade purple unhealthy goodness! That's excluding what's being stored in the fridge.

Mad!

Best Enjoyed With A Diminished Mental Faculty.

2009-09-26T23:55:00.003+08:00

I'm going to name my daughter Nikki, because she's going to grow up hot and loose and all the boys will want her.

I wrote that down, whilst being kicked by a drunk out cold enjoying the stone floor whom I was caring for. I remember that at that point of time, between the mostly unconscious body beside me, the vomit that reeked of nothing but alcohol and that girl named Nikki I became extremely determined to have a daughter who was like that.

Ah, well. Kids.

The Longest Day.

2009-09-26T09:37:00.003+08:00

It seems like guard duty is designed to drag the minutes in all 1440 of the day as much as humanly possible. Extremely banal tasks that make time crawl even slower than a turtle in a race to determine the slowest turtle of all time really wears down a persons' mental state.

I just got back from the longest twenty four hours of my life and I feel like I've aged twenty years.

Goodness gracious. Help me!

Army Boys Are.

2009-09-23T20:37:00.002+08:00

Girls are made to have sex with and any girl you're in contact with is either a fling/girlfriend, and dear god platonic relationships are not allowed.

The people are usually stupid and lazy and not without reason. I mean, you can be stupid if it isn't any fault of yours. However being lazy and unmotivated and as a result stupid isn't an excuse.

I don't know. People are so fucking petty and selfish that it's amazing that anything gets done at all. It's also a wonder that most of these fuckers who are getting me down have absolutely no idea what life after the army holds for them. Apart from talk about 'probably studying' and absolutely having no idea or being severely unqualified to further their studies anywhere that has been deemed prestigious enough for them to dream about. I mean, being picky about where you want to study when you're unqualified to further your education beyond your vocational certificate qualifications. Seriously?

The real irony is, that these people are the very same fuckers who whine and complain about being in the relative comfort of the army, where they can continue to be such underachieving wastes of oxygen. It only makes senses that these people are really dumb as fuck and should be gassed to death in a chamber somwhere in a remote corner of the island.

Ugh. I need to clear my head and drown myself in some happy thoughts.

In a rut.

2009-09-21T19:56:00.001+08:00

Have been for the past two weeks, and it doesn't show seem like it's going away. Be back soon.

2009-09-21T04:05:00.000+08:00

Inglourious Basterds is Fucking Awesome-ness. Watch it, if you haven't already.

Desperation.

2009-09-17T10:00:00.001+08:00

20/09/09 Steve Aoki+Diplo@Zouk. Any want going/want to go?

PATRICK SWAYZE IS DEAD.

2009-09-16T20:34:00.002+08:00

When I received the sms notification, my heart sunk and was overwhelmed with immeasurable sadness. Have you watched his 'The Beast'? The man was fantastic, even to the very end.

Calf; Rear Left. Twenty Bites.

2009-09-13T16:05:00.002+08:00

Okay, you can't really see it because of the lousy camera, but take my word for it. The fucking mosquitoes bit through my uniform to cause IMMENSE PAIN.

So yes, I'm a sucker for pain.

In Summary.

2009-09-12T00:51:00.002+08:00

I have at least twenty mosquito bites on my left calf. My body has been completely ravaged by mosquitoes, despite having induced minor chemical burns all over exposed skin in a futile effort to repel said mosquitoes. Don't get me wrong though, I still love going out in the field. The wilderness of Singapore is still plenty delightful and, I've seen a side of Singapore that's not all concrete which not many of you will get to see.

Like Tinkerbell

2009-09-06T19:58:00.001+08:00

It's only after spending an entire day in the company of people whom I love that I've realised that my sensitivities to the subtleties of emotion. It's kinda of like a horrible comedy sketch gone wrong, where a fat man dressed up in a tutu and attempts to waltz through a rainy street like Gene Kelly in singing in the rain, except Gene Kelly is fat, has no control over his psycho motor and is inebriated ON CRACK COCAINE.

I think I just bumble through interacting with people whom I feel positive about, because I feel too damn comfortable to exercise restraint in my behaviour. Which isn't good. There's a lot of weird shit happening beneath this calculated facade and like the Bruce Banner transforming into the Hulk, it's not pretty. It's a great big bumbling beast which needs a good dose of drugs NOW.

FAIL.

2009-09-05T00:52:00.004+08:00

Tonight brings another score to compound to the mass of epic failures. Isn't it fabulous, when most of what happens occurs as a result of a particular effective branch of Murphy's law which works tirelessly to create opposite outcomes out of whatever intention (or lack of) there might have been. By that logic I should not endeavour to accomplish anything because most (and I'm using that term because I cannot be sure that the term all would hold true) of whatever positive accomplishment I can attribute to my self has been borne out of not trying and a deep focus on being as anti social possible. Because things usually end up pear shaped when I attempt things and I am usually left to ponder on the futility of having bothered at all.

Which leaves me with the conclusion that I should be lazy as fuck and just wait for things to happen, because things usually turn out much better that way. Which, I think, my character will not allow. Because I would like to think that I am the sort of person who needs to be out there doing something and not sit around and wait for a pay out. Which leads me to think that the safest thing I could be doing not to offend people or fuck up is to bludgeon some homeless sap without kin to death whenever boredom or whatever feeling strikes that give rise to an incredible urge to be out there doing something. Which would be bad, because I don't think I'm quite insane enough to escape wrath of the long arm of justice when caught for beating the cap out of some random asshole.

Thus, I am back where I began before this long rambly post began, non the wiser. I mean, I am slightly wiser just that the wisdom may not apply when judgement and good taste come into play. Which renders said wisdom redundant and leaves only this introspection as a (hopefully) source of amusement to you dear reader, because eliciting a smile would be the least this could do.

I really shouldn't try to make things happen, like attempting to force wisdom from a 375 word rant. It just doesn't work like that.

Sticky Sweet.

2009-09-04T22:41:00.002+08:00

Which is the kind of excess and the loss of sense of propriety or moral compass or whatever you may like to call it, that I would love to have myself waist deep in. However, I am encumbered by the fact that I have now grown so timid of social interactions that I may never find myself near anything close to what the video depicts.

I also need to remember her name. It's crazy because I can remember how she speaks Chinese even though she isn't, what her colleagues called her, how un-ethnic she looked, what school she's studying at, and that her last day is on the 18th while my appointment is on the 30th 'just to let you know that I won't be here anymore' among a million other little details. Yet, for the life of me I can't remember her name despite having stared at her name tag many times over.

Kinda Sexy.

2009-08-30T00:28:00.002+08:00

I am still reeling from the four days spent in the Singaporean wilderness. Breaking from the concrete landscape that is the definition of our country into a tiny corner of Singapore that's mostly foliage or dirt, complemented by clear skies dotted by stars as far as the eye can see. It's hard not to miss the wilderness.

However trips to the wilderness are usually accompanied by bouts of extreme physical labour, poor nutrition and broken up sleep patterns-a complete lack of sleep for some.

I imagine that smokers must get the same heady sensation that I associate with heading outfield, albeit on a much lesser scale and in a much shorter time frame. The mixture of pleasure and feeling shite, together with the physical withdrawal and yearning for the next destructive high. I mean, right now I can't really get to sleep properly, even though I'm tired out of my brains but I can just feel the memory of the last outfield teasing me, like sexy, sexy, smoke teasing itself all the way into the pleasure centers.

Can't wait for next outfield.

Spangly bursts of bravado!

2009-08-22T00:15:00.002+08:00

I think, the rate I carry on with shooting from the hip I'm bound to get into serious trouble in camp. I almost got into some serious shit last week when I spoke a wee bit loudly and bluntly without respect for rank and chain of command and all that nonsense that comes with have more icons decorating your chest epaulet. Thankfully all the pomp and swagger was backed by the power of right and the strength of the very foundation of the institution. Hopefully, when I do get indiscreet in my foolish disregard for revering rank irregardless of whether it is backed by reason, I don't burst into tears. Crying is a cheap trick to gain an immediate favourable emotional response. I hope I manage to will whatever emotion I feel as I'm getting called out into aggression; and turn green and start smashing things.

I mean, when you're angry you're more motivated and to do things to get even as opposed to wallowing in tears. I mean, look at all the angry fucked up people who grew up to be crazy serial killers as opposed to emo depressives who get committed to a mental institution. Which one would you rather be?