The Rhyming Blog

This is me on ONE

2004-11-16T16:44:00.000-08:00

Oh pessimist
O! Man of Woe
Who sees men and women come to blows,
Perhaps you need a long vacation
Or a labotomy type of operation.

For if a man and woman meet,
And with a loving kiss do greet,
Then all is right within our world
(Though it makes cynics toes get curled).

So please do spare me your depression
(Enough will come with the new recession).
And when your children ask 'why doubt?'
Tell the truth - and do not pout.

It is the tavern in the town,
And visits there which get her down.
When you return you are a sot -
That is why she aimed and shot!

Uncle Joe

Have One on Me

2004-11-06T20:55:00.000-08:00

At this second hand store I did see,
A book titled 'Have One on Me', (by Georgie Starbuck Galbraith)
It's first chapter reads "His and Hers"
about an ancient battle written in verse.
Let me share a few bits from the treasure I've found...
I'll do it as soon as I stop rolling on the ground !!

~ Gunjan

His and Hers

It's a man's world? Perhaps it is,
But happily it occurs
That, though the planet is labeled HIS
He is labeled HERS.

Truth of the Martyr

She's given him, moans this martyred wife,
Some of the best years of her life.
And in addition, the plain truth is,
She's given him some of the worst of his.

Distaff Double

A man must ponder upon this pair
of problems a woman has to face:
She has absolutely nothing to wear,
And she hasn't an inch of closet space!

(by Georgie Starbuck Galbraith in Have One on Me)

There's an election?

2004-10-18T06:28:00.000-07:00

Elections come, elections go
In rain, in sun, in wind and snow,
Remember it is politic
To vote by chad, by cross, by tick;
And worth the four month acting show!

I am a candidate, no less,
Seeking now your voting bless
Though lie I might
And low-blow fight
I save your hands from that pit's cess.

No pun intended when I say
That some elected play away,
Clinton you know loved the tenor sax -
Young Monica has all the facts -
So his blow was low at home each day.

What shall I say of Bush the Pres,
Three nations put in such a mezz.
Favourite of Uncle Chad
He made old Gory rather mad.
And Kerry's had it, too, he sez.

Uncle Joe

2004-10-09T13:24:00.000-07:00

A seagull dipped his wing today
at me as if to say 'come play,'
but I can't fly
the glowing sky.
Why would he tempt me in this way?

I'll watch again as he flies near
and had I wings would show no fear,
but I'm earth-bound,
stuck to the ground,
til I'm an angel, I'm stuck here.

Laws of Unnatural Selection

2004-10-03T14:19:00.000-07:00

You cannot be said to be cynical,
if you fear for the election win-ical;
if it has been fixed
and our choices deep-sixed
as before the results will be sin-ical.

How does one believe the guys runnin'
are serious for us, not just gunnin'
for glory and bucks
in their world (which just sucks):
I think we are ser'ously done-in.

Grey hair doesn't spring out of nowhere
nor wisdom come out of the air
but experience
helps the thinker make sense,
of the facts, once he's already been there.

Laws of Unnatural Selection

2004-10-03T14:17:00.000-07:00

You cannot be said to be cynical,
if you fear for the election win-ical;
if it has been fixed
and our choices deep-sixed
as before there will be nothing grin-ical.

How does one believe the guys runnin'
are serious for us, not just gunnin'
for glory and bucks
in their world (which just sucks):
I think we are ser'ously done-in.

Grey hair doesn't spring out of nowhere
nor wisdom come out of the air
but experience
helps the thinker make sense,
of the facts, once he's already been there.

Toilet Tree

2004-09-30T04:15:00.000-07:00

In a land of long ago
Where the rivers swiftly flow
And the courteous were courteous to a fault,
The loo was not invented
And where they went was tented
Or anywhere if they found they were caught short.

But beneath the conker tree
Where you used to sit with me
Was a pit which held deposits left a-plenty,
So bacteria near the root
Made it food with which to shoot
And it shaded us when we were young and twenty.

But there used to be a smell
(I thought you were not well)
Which wafted round and got right up my nose,
I know it wasn't me -
Perhaps it was the tree -
Or came from the way that the wind blows.

Chacha Joe

Atla-Bugged

2004-09-29T14:07:00.000-07:00

Thanks, Gunj, for directing me to
the place I wanted to get through.
A homebody, such
as I don 't get out much,
but I'm trying, much thanks to you.

Though genius, I'm oft in a fog;
needing aid traveling the map of blog,
(though my rhymes are trite)
to get to the site
of the helpful and talented WOG.

I'm told WOG means wonderf'lly wise
oriental gentleman, guys;
so be not offended,
it was not intended,
I swear on my aqua-blue cataract'd eyes.
:>

2004-09-24T11:18:00.000-07:00

Why does the cat

Everything pretty’s already been said
Pondrous questions have all been resolved.
The poets before us
And thinkers spoke for us
So why do I feel not evolved?

The rules are all straightforward put forth
How to deal with the east, south or north
So why do we hate
Those who stand at the gate
Or under the liberty torch?

The rules are we profess are all written
But we apply them miss-and-hittin’
Thus we’re always warrin’
In lands far and foreign
Why does the big cat kill the kitten?

Warming Climate

2004-09-19T07:00:00.000-07:00

As the warming climate comes
And Scientists do complex sums
I see for me a changing fate
With much less ice on which to skate.

But oft that ice was very thin -
Oh how many times have I gone in?
To water cold and clammy wet
Which left me like a lolly set!

But here is my prognostication
Which should cheer up most every nation:
The warming heat in every city
Will need a lot less Electric-ity.

Chacha Joe (aka .. oh, just visit
www.smilepoetryweekly.com )

2004-09-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

Maybe your faith will inspire me -
and seeing as no one will hire me -
mayhap we'll proceed
with the poetic deed
and hope that the effort won't tire me.

Had problems making my head click
and one word to t'other to stick
(One martini, quite dry,
may enhance my try -
but more I 'spect will make me sick.

Lane

Invitation to Lane

2004-09-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

This blog I'm sure won't be a pain,
My effort, it just won't go in vain,
The secret unravelled,
is not roads untravelled...
but funny limericks by-Lane