A bit pretentious, but who cares, right???

So funny story

2009-07-03T09:09:00.002-04:00

So years ago when I was working a band camp. There was this girl who was hired to work with us. The group of people that had been working there had known each other for year and I have to say was a pretty damned smart group of people. Well anyway this girl who had come from a pretty competitive high school in the area and at age 20 thought she knew it all. Fine whatever we all think that when we are 20. Some don't grow out of it till they are in their 40's some never. She was taking young enthusiasm to a whole new level. I understand wanting to get the most out of ones experiences, especially after high school. But come on you aren't going to get to run rehearse after only a few weeks with an established group. I mean seriously I had been with the band for 3 summers and the other staff I had known for years as did the band director. And if you know anything about me and my friends we can be a tough shell to crack. We have lots of inside jokes and we know how we work together. Now it is not impossible because we had added the other staff in pretty well. Except this young women, Not really through any fault of ours. She was more interested in telling us what we were doing wrong and making up stories about us. The best was at band camp when she told me and another staffer that she was going up to put on some sunscreen and she left the camp. This was on a Wednesday and we were there till Saturday. She slipped a "note" under the directors door packed her car and left. The note said she wasn't going to talk about the staff and then proceeded for 3 pages to trash us. I laughed at it. The kids didn't like her she really didn't know what she was doing and really it wasn't a loss. Then after the camp she called to complain that she didn't get paid for the full week of camp.

She was fun times. Any time you wouldn't let her do something from the get go without knowing how she did it she would pout and be childish and she would openly tell you what you were doing wrong. Even though she really didn't know how to do it right. Anyway she was in general a pain in the ass. And now she has my old job and will have a fun time with Special K. Those two will just hate one another. If Special K thought I was opinionated I at least had the skills to back it up. And this girl will just hate how Kathy runs things and will let her know. If she is still how she was with students then the kids will hate her too and the program will suffer. I feel especially bad for my Orchestra kids.

Oh Karma how you do like to come back and bite people in the ass.

Keeping busy

2009-06-25T10:11:00.003-04:00

So school is done and I am freaking bored out of my mind. A few things are good for being unemployed and nothing to actually do. I have fixed my desk top computer. About 3 years ago I got bombarded by viruses on my desk top. It may or may not have had something to do with internet porn but that is not what is important. After that happened I just bought my laptop I have been very pleased with it and would never go back to using a desk top. However I would like to use it for music storage. My goal since getting the LT was to get the other up and running and use it for just that. It has been 3 years and a lofty goal considering I don't know much about computers. I did successfully get everything I wanted off the computer and on to this one. So yesterday I wiped it out and started fresh by reinstalling everything. The thing is the old computer I got back in 2002 so reinstalling puts me back on 2002 stuff requiring lots of updates. Which is what I am doing today. After that I will be ripping as many cds as I can to it. I am thinking I will also be selling off most of those cds. I don't need them I will have all the music I wanted and it will free up precious space in my apartment. Plus having more money wouldn't hurt either.

Speaking of that the job search is not going that well and I am beginning to hit panic mode. I am thinking of getting a part time now to pack rat more money. That is the one good thing of staying at home every day is that I am not really spending any extra money by staying in lol.

I am really at a loss as to what to do with myself. It's been a long time since I have had almost nothing to do. After school let out I had the pride parade to keep me occupied. Which by the by went great I couldn't have been happier. Everything went very smooth and only minor things happened but all in all I am very pleased. It struck me that I never put things like that on my resume. So I have added it I mean really I ran a freakin parade and not a small one either it was pretty substantial. I have marched bands in smaller parades than this one. But anyway. Yes I am bored. I have done dishes everyday I have clean the bathroom twice now. I have started 3 new knitting projects and finished 2 old ones that had just been sitting there. I am now blogging again so that is a sign of insanity.

*sigh*

Ugh I need a job or a sugar daddy.

Playing hookey

2009-05-15T14:40:00.002-04:00

I haven't done this in a long time but I looked at what I had to do today and said f*ck it. Today was a half day and then some nonsense of a "field day" and a school wide tricycle race. When I saw the inflatable bouncy castle and all the "toys" they put out on the football field. I just said to myself "They can't afford me but they can throw money away on this crap?" Yea that is when I said screw it I am going home. And thus I am at home not watching a stupid tricycle race. Have a good weekend everyone.

Ok maybe I have a problem...

2009-05-10T12:33:00.002-04:00

Yes I am aware that I love my shoes and have a few. Ok I have a lot. I really don't keep count for fear of realizing I have a problem.When I moved into this apartment a little under a year ago I purged my shoes of about 8 pairs. They were mostly pairs I didn't wear or were falling apart. Over this last year I have only purchased I would say 3 pairs of new shoes. Of course this could be a low estimate because really each outing for shoes have just blurred together over the years. After moving to this very small apartment I have become very aware of how much I have. After living in large places with many rooms the prior 4 years, it just collects without really noticing. This last year has been one of purge and simplification. Yesterday one of my oldest and best friends came into town and stayed at my place. I decided that I needed to do some cleaning. In doing so I threw out quite a bit of stuff I just didn't need or have space for. The fact that my place is small it didn't take that long to do the clearing. Through all this I did consolidate my shoes. I pitched 8 pairs. I went back and for fun counted. 28. Yes 28 pairs of shoes Which means at some point I had well over 40 pair. I also would like to get my clothing down to at most 3 loads of laundry. I am not sure this is all possible but It's what I need.

Yes I am a Shoaholic and I am seeking help. No more shoes till I can part with a few more. Yea we'll see how that goes.

To Special K

2009-05-08T14:56:00.002-04:00

I have taken the fact that I am now looking for a full time job is somehow an inconvenience to you. And that somehow this is more about you than me. I can look past that but today, yet again you just leave the classroom while you still have students, and that is just plain stupid. Thank you for just kicking me while I am down. Actually the more I think about it I should thank you. You are making it easier for me to just wash my hands of you, walk away and not care. The fact that this school would choose to keep such a lazy, self involved, raging incompetent over me just makes me warm inside. I usually get that feeling before vomiting. All I have to say is good luck with anyone of the following tasks that I have done and you have not. Library inventory, Locker inventory, Instrument checkout and return, Any number of storage issues, keeping the band room clean, making sure someone is around at the end of the day so the kids can get their instruments and practice, knowing every students name, keeping a budget, making a budget, staying ahead of the game, not making excuses for the kids... really I could go on. If it wasn't for the fact that all of this effects students I would get some giddy pleasure out of watching you drown next fall. Though the sad truth is that you will just fall into the old ways of leaving when you want and leaving the band room open so anyone can come in and steal. But of course you won't know that because you won't stay up on the inventory nor will you make the kids check out the instruments. But that's fine too because then you will just buy buy buy whatever and go way over budget again and maybe you will go back to spend band money on personal things. Here is hoping the school doesn't find out because they could fire you for that.

Ah well I know I am better off leaving. I just find it very unfair that that bitch gets whatever she wants and they all think she is the greatest thing since sliced bread.

Screw her hopefully she will grow from the experience or get fired.

Open letter from Belligerent Gay Driver

2009-05-05T17:20:00.002-04:00

Dear f*%#wad,

I understand that at 7am not many people are leaving the parking lot of my apartment building but there is no need to pull into said parking lot and block cars in. Especially if you are going to take your sweet ass time. Actually it wasn't 7 am it was more like 6:50 and you didn't come back out to move your car until 7:07 but who knows how long you had been there. It also wouldn't have been so bad if the lot had been full but it wasn't or the street 20 feet away had more than the required 1 spot you would have needed for your car.

To all of that I say suck a big donkey dick.

Also when you do finally emerge from whatever the hell you were doing, don't stand around saying you are sorry. If you were sorry you would just move your damned car. Or better yet just don't f@#$ing park your god damned car there. Move it fuctard.

Truly
Belligerent Gay Driver

Conflicted and yet not.

2009-05-01T09:35:00.002-04:00

As mine time at this school comes to a close I am conflicted on my feelings about leaving. On the one hand It would be nice to get into a job that I can leave at work. So much of my life these past 5 years has been consumed by this school. I go home and work after working at school. It will be nice to actually leave work and go do something else. No grading, no lesson plans, no score study, no planning for the net concert, rehearsal or whatever the f*ck I come up with. No stressing over Special K's incompetence and her unwillingness to change. Let's face it there are quite a few things I will not miss. Faculty meetings for one, useless assemblies, stupid teachers, a band room that floods and has no climate control. Yea maybe my health will improve. I haven't written a lick of music in 5 years because so much of my time has been devoted to this and when I don't have this I am exhausted.

But...

It's really the kids I will miss. I really do love them for the most part. I enjoy that they do drive me crazy at times. I will miss being the smartest one in the room. lol I will miss seeing them every day and watching them progress and grow and become adults. I will miss seeing their big accomplishments. I know they are not my kids but they may be as close as I get And I will miss them.

downsized... ?funny my pants don't fit any better.

2009-04-28T17:04:00.002-04:00

Well it was what I thought. I figured actually that they would just combine a few of my classes and reduce me to part time. But what made it worse was not that they were reducing my classes so much as they were shifting them over to Special K so she could remain full time. You see my classes were just fine. I had enough students in mine to allow me to stay but she didn't she had two of her classes completely empty for the next year. Tell me what is wrong with all of this. I do my job, I get kids into my classes and where does it get me. by eliminating those 3 classes all they did was reduce my work load by 10% I would still be running 2 ensembles and assisting with another. That is the bulk of my job as it is. Of course we can eliminate 10% of the work load and 40% of the pay. Yes normally I would say just get a part time job and weather the storm but really I would be killing myself to do so. The hectic schedule would only be worse by trying to work another job. So at this point I am looking to just find something new at a much higher salary.

We shall see.

2009-04-27T10:52:00.002-04:00

So I received a very ominous email from my principal wanting to see me sometime today to discuss my teaching "Schedule" for next year. Honestly the only thing I can think of is that he wants to ship me back to part time and eliminate several of my classes. With that in mind I will have to find something new because I can not afford to go back to that salary.

Yes I would like to find something new but I don't want to have to.

If anyone knows of anything let me know.

Can you say big waste of time?

2009-04-23T14:55:00.002-04:00

So yesterdays "Professional Development" was ...interesting. One could also say big fucking waste of time. Indeed my colleague sitting next to me did. Most if not all of our professional development to date have been classes on how to use the grading software, Excel, different ways of assessing students, so on and so forth. Anyway this one was based on a book that each teacher was given back in December. It was a book I had no intention of reading. About 2 months ago we were told that we would be having a PD day over the book and that we should all read it. I love to read but when I am made to read something I have no interest in I usually don't and I didn't. The speaker was a priest who came in and lectured for 2.5 hours on the importance of forgiveness. Here's the thing, this isn't news people, anyone with half a brain knows that the act of forgiving someone is not for them as much as it's for you so that you can deal with whatever is bothering you. In the case of the main character in the book "God", who was portrayed as an old black women, said that if this man didn't seek to forgive the man that brutally killed his young daughter that it would eat at him till it killed him. The priest went on and on about the importance of forgiving, blahty,blahty,blah. Well as S said last night "Really I figured you would enjoy having a priest tell you what to do." Yea... no. So here is my real question how was that either Professional or Development. It wasn't even brought into a relationship of teaching. It was just a lecture on forgiveness. Well here's the thing I don't do forgiveness, I carry a grudge. I'm sorry that is just how I am.

Spotlight 09

2009-04-22T21:47:00.002-04:00

So I have made some new friends over the past few months. They, like me enjoy the nerdy things in life as well as enjoy being social but also know the importance of staying home. Anyway J had a ticket to Spotlight which is a fundraiser for Indiana AIDS Fund. Basically arts organizations in Indy get together and do a variety show. It very cool a kind of taste of the Arts kind of thing. Plus the ticket was free and there was an open bar so you know I was there. The evening was great the performances were stellar. What wasn't stellar was the child who sat in front of me playing his Nintendo DS. His parents were sitting right there letting him. I mean my mother and father would have never let me bring it let alone play it. Don't bring your child if you are going to let him do that. It is completely ridiculous that you would ever allow it. Am I wrong on this?

What I want to be when I grow up. ?

2009-04-14T09:43:00.002-04:00

I really don't know anymore. I have been giving this a lot of thought lately because of the fact I love my job but hate particular aspects of it. Special K being one of them., the lack of money and the incredible amount of time it eats up. Granted my summers are free and clear but I would much rather have my time spread a bit more evenly. I always feel I am playing catch up and am always letting some aspect of my life slide. I have yet been able to keep a steady workout schedule outside of summer. My personal life has been mia for the last 6 years. I barely have time for my friends let alone new people or sometimes myself. It's very frustrating.

So with all that in mind I have been doing some job searches. Nothing solid and yes I have sent a few resumes out but really I just don't see too much coming my way. The greater question what do I want to do. And the honest answer is I don't know and I don't care. The real criteria would be something different and it pays better. You all know I am not about the money but I can't continue stress about money on a daily basis as I have been for the past 10 years.

So if anyone knows of anything, relocating is completely an option.

Educational Philosophy

2009-04-13T10:37:00.003-04:00

As we all know my brothers can be a bit... how shall I put this... dumb as a sack of hammers. As Xena has asked several times, how is it I am part of this family? Well that question remains strong in my mind. This weekend just continued this thought. As we were talking I brought up that some elementary schools have toyed with or have cut their science programs for K-5. My brother thought this outrageous. I agreed and then he said I would cut band before science. Yes he knows I teach music. I said really we shouldn't cut anything. He followed with "But don't you think there are some completely useless classes?" I said "No but there are some completely useless teachers in all subjects." He then went on "Well, what really is a humanities class and what good is it?" Instead of engaging I rolled my eyes and got up. I did say as I was leaving "I could explain but you wouldn't get it." This banter would have ended until he said "I got through a 4 year degree program without a foreign language." I countered with "I got through a 4 year program with one semester of a science, but I don't think that was right." But whatever.

It did get me to thinking that my view on education is completely different then most peoples. I really feel the best teacher I ever had was my High School Physics teacher. The reason he was the best was because I really feel his goal was not to teach me physics but to be responsible, diligent, the ability to think critically and a laundry list of skill that are not physics. Physics was his vehicle to teach me all these other things. That is how I approach my subject or at least I would like to think I do. Because if they learn something about music bonus but I want them to learn how to get this knowledge themselves and how to be better people.

For me it's not all about the subject. It's about a greater message and to give the students the ability to learn on their own as well as the joy of learning. Which is why I feel all subjects have value and that every class can be bad.

But let's just say I still think my brother is an idiot.

Umm... yea

2009-03-31T12:35:00.002-04:00

So while sitting in the drive thru of my bank I noticed the truck in front of me was sporting an interesting bumper sticker. It said "Save an American Driver, Shoot a Honda Driving Bitch" For those who don't know I drive a Honda and so did the car in front of the truck so I just leaned out my window and said, "Sir, you should leave you are surrounded, run quickly!" Ok I really didn't mostly because the guy might have actually pulled a gun and shot this Honda Driving Bitch.

Homecoming days

2009-03-31T10:05:00.004-04:00

Well I am on Spring break. To balance out last years which I don't remember much of, I am taking it a bit easier. I have decided that like homecoming week I would have theme days. Yesterday was Pajama day. it was the day I could do absolutely nothing and stay in my pj's all day long. Well I did get dressed when Mom called and we went to dinner. But that was like 5pm I had spent the rest of the day on my couch. It was glorious, and did you know there is absolutely nothing on TV during the day? Yea I didn't know that either.

Today has been designated at drinking day. Here in a bit I am going to send a text out to anyone interested that I will be at Olley's drinking until I stop. I will most likely end up at the Metro for Kareoke. So anyone wanting to come and encourage this and by encourage I mean buy me a drink, by all means stop by. Because a drunk Maestro is a fun Maestro.

Tomorrow is Eat Whatever I Want day. I feel this is a good follow up to the Drinking day and Thursday is Get Cultured day. The IMA is free on Thursdays so I think I will pop over there and see what's on the walls.

Now I am open for suggestions on what Friday will be. I have made no plans for that day. Any and all suggestions are welcomed.

Not MySpace

2009-03-22T15:46:00.002-04:00

Well I went ahead and deleted my account on MySpace not because I am getting a facebook account. I am not really hip enough to really dedicate any amount of time to either one. Ah well it was ... interesting while it lasted. It brought up such questions like, I didn't really like this person when I knew them in high school you know 15 years ago why would I accept their friend request now? So now I don't have to worry about such things and really I put no effort and got nothing in return so I just took it down.

My Nerdy Protegees

2009-03-14T10:43:00.004-04:00

I swear I blink and a week has gone by. These last two weeks have just flown by. I am not really sure what I did but I will take it. Maybe it's because daylight savings time has really been kicking my ass. I am not a morning person by any stretch of the imagination but it's worse when you get up at 5:30 to have to get up at what was 4:30. Let's just say I haven't been making it to work in a timely fashion this last week. I am still there before the bell rings but man I am draggin' ass like no other. The up side is that my class couldn't be better. I had a great after school rehearsal Wednesday and yesterday.

The other thing is I brought a video of lectures Leonard Bernstein did at Harvard in '73. I was only going to show the first half of the first DVD in the 6 disc series. But my Independent Studies kids loved it. I mean really loved it. Usually kids will half watch and try to do homework, fidget, sleep, talk or try to text but these guys just sat and watched. I thought I was nerdy but they just loved it and asked if they could watch more. I said sure. Because really this takes care of them for the next 2 weeks. I will have to come up with something for them to do that relates to it but I don't think that will be a problem. I am actually very glad they liked it. I wanted to show it to them but figured they would be bored and not get anything from it. I really like this group of guys they are very into talking about music and I can totally get into that. I have 4 seniors and 1 Junior in the class and 3 of the seniors are going to major in music and the Junior is a really good songwriter and wants to pursue that. Independent Studies use to be a pain because most of the time kids would sign up so they didn't have to do anything, so you would have to struggle to get them working but these guys are great and work all the time.

So I guess I could start the count down but I am afraid that when I do the days are going to start dragging. But I am now 2 weeks out from Spring Break. There I said it let the weekends fly and the class periods slip into epic lengths. I will just say 2 weeks and not do a day and hour count. That will come later when I become more desperate for a break.

Corporate fingerprints

2009-03-10T17:43:00.003-04:00

I was listening to NPR today and they were talking about how YouTube pulled out of a deal that would allow music videos from the UK on the site. They pulled out because the British representatives were asking a "ridiculous"(YouTube's word not mine) amount for the rights. I thought okay well maybe they are but I think professionals should be paid for their work. That was until they stated it was for professionals and for amateurs. Wait these people wanted money for people who themselves would not be paid. Does anyone else see a problem with this? So here is what I read from all this is that if I were to make a music video in the UK and posted it on YouTube someone would be collecting money for every view, however that person wouldn't be me. Yes I believe that those who do the work should be paid for it but come on. I really dislike how we have to make a buck off everything. Libraries are great but some smart person decided that if we put a coffee shop in our huge book store and be okay with people reading our books without paying because they will eventually and we can still make money even though I could go to a library and really not pay anything. The Internet is this wonderful place where people could share information without charge but now everyone is trying to find away to charge for the net. But until they do find a way to charge for every possible thing I will continue to enjoy the free things like this blog.

*Please deposit $2.99 for the next blog entry*

The next step.

2009-03-09T20:35:00.002-04:00

I think I have discovered what I want to do with my life. I feel I should become a life coach. I have to wonder though, how does one become a life coach? I mean what degree does one get that qualifies you to be a life coach. I can understand who would be drawn to it. My niece will make an excellent life coach one day. At age 3 she is very good at pointing out when you do something wrong and will be quick with the "NO, NO, NO That is not how you play. Do it this way!" Telling people how to run their lives and pointing out what they do wrong, sign me up. Basically I am doing it now I just don't get paid as well as I would suspect a Life Coach would get paid. Do they seek out a life coach or does that pushy, bossy girl we all knew from elementary school just bully you into paying for the "advice" they are handing out. I mean I could do that how hard is it. I would like to know up front if I can smack them. Because if I can I may do some pro bono work on the side. Hmm... imagine if you will me, a life coach. I really like this plan.

Why there is a banking crisis.

2009-03-05T17:41:00.003-05:00

This is an actual email I sent to my bank. Note how I refrained from calling them fuctards. Good for me.

My name is Disgruntled Customer I have a checking account with you and you have deactivated my debit card. Even though I went in a week ago to a branch to return the card that was mistakenly sent to my previous address and forwarded to my current address And it wasn't even mine. I am sure the woman for whom that card belongs would actually like it. Much like myself, I would like my new card. I would also like for you to stop defaulting to previous addresses when in your system you have current addresses for me (I had the very nice woman at the branch check for me). While at the branch I also let her know that I have yet to receive my new card. I also expressed a desire for the only card I have not to be deactivated. She said it would be taken care of. It worked just fine this week until today when I went to use it and very embarrassingly so was declined. I would like to point out that this is not the first time such things have occurred but this has become an ongoing problem when it comes to my changing addresses, getting new cards, changing pin numbers and you 6 years ago closing out a savings account without notification and refusing to acknowledge that you did so. I had a savings account with this bank since before Stupid Financial bought it and that savings account never needed a minimum and when Idiot Bank took over they let me keep it like that until you didn't like that, deleted it and then told me I never had such a thing.

Seriously get me a new card or reactivate the old one. This problem is getting old and quite frankly I am over it.

Please fix it soon I would like to buy groceries and since your branches are never open when I am not at work I will have to dig for change in my couch.

Thank you

Maestro

Also it took me 20 minutes to find a way to email you. This really shouldn't be buried like this unless you really don't want people contacting you. Just a thought.

No longer sick...

2009-03-03T17:09:00.003-05:00

Well not Physically...

Right now I am just watching The Gilmore Girls. I really loved this show. I miss that it is not on any more.

So this weekend was interesting. I finally got to see little Parker. She is adorable, even when she was a bit fussy. She has cute red hair and chubby little cheeks. It all makes me want to have one. Alas... I will just barrow my friends babies.

Saturday I spent the evening at Olly's not drinking, because I was on antibiotics and I am suppose to. At least that is what the Dr. said. I tend to believe trained professionals, I am weird like that.

School has been fine nothing exciting or stupid. Well that is not true. Today Special K was there after her classes were done which usually means there is a meeting after school. As I was sitting there working and the end of the school day was approaching and I look up and say "Is there a meeting after school that I forgot?" Special K replied "No, why?" "Well you are here." "No, I am just doing what my contract says and work." Not really sure what to say to that except, about damned time. Though I didn't say that. Seriously this is what I have to sorta work with here.

Fun times.

Still Sick

2009-02-26T08:19:00.003-05:00

I really didn't want to call in today but this was an easy day to do it. Special K and I were taking 20 kids to the symphony. It was a great concert Copland, Bernstein, and Gershwin. How great would that have been I was really looking forward to it. But I didn't sleep much last night the hacking and fever kept me up most of it. I am heading out to the Dr. I am sure they are going to tell me I am dying or some nonsense. So no lesson plans just called in and went back to "bed" for a few hours.

I think when I get back I will just make some soup.

Under the covers shivering

2009-02-25T06:25:00.002-05:00

For the past 4 or so days I have been fighting a cold. I have been taking preemptive meds to stave it off. I sat at dinner last night with FN, Athena and Blanche and I was trying not to fall asleep because I was so exhausted. I assumed it was from the lack of sleep I had not been getting. But last night I went to bed right when I got home about 8:30ish and when my alarm went off I had a headache and I was shivering uncontrollably. Good times. Ok so I was tired for other reasons then lack of sleep. I swear my throat has swollen shut practically and every part of my body hurts, and when I cough it sounds like what I imagine Blanche and Romeo will sound like in a few years.
The worst part is that my alarm is set to the radio and I have Bob & Tom waking me up in the morning. I use that station because I will never want to just lie there and listen to them. I really can't stand them, and here is what makes it the worst I am on the couch and they are playing on my radio in the bedroom and I have no energy to get up and turn them off. I called in and sent my hastily thrown together lesson plans and now I am here typing this up. I started typing this at 6 am and it is now 6:37 am. God I am typing slow.

Very bad

2009-02-23T10:24:00.003-05:00

And now a story of shopping for food.

Once upon a time, circa 5 days ago, I was walking into the local grocers. A Ma and pop store, that has a hundred location in the city and surrounding area. A quaint store run by pleasant people who would rather break your leg than deal with your concerns about the freshness of the orange peppers. Upon entering said store I find myself in the fresh produce area. I love peppers and when I see them on sale I think I should by them except when they are on sale and a bit soft to the touch. I turn to find a young man refilling the banana cart and I ask"How fresh are these peppers?" "What do you mean?" "Well how long have they been sitting here?" "I don't know?"

Hmm he was pleasant, I forgo the peppers in search of fresher things. When I hear yammering from around the corner. "Key lime, is that the stuff with the key lime? I am sure it is the key lime. You wanted the key lime? because I am sure this is the stuff with the key lime. Or maybe this has the key lime, it's the key lime you are looking for right?" I didn't actually count how many times this short older lady with the twice weekly washed and set bullet proof helmet hair said the words Key Lime. But it did feel like a lot. Though on the upside that was good customer service, or at least I think it was someone who worked there.

I round the corner and down to the bread aisle. Now I have been down this aisle several times and this was the first time I had noticed the "light" wheat bread. Since I have started counting calories I have noticed that the wheat bread I had been buying had 60 calories per slice, which really wasn't that bad. "Keylimekeylimekeylimekeylime"

Sorry blacked out for a moment. So the "light" wheat bread advertised 1/3 the calories. I was like hot damn so I pick it up and turn it over to notice "Keylimekeylime..." it actually contained 70 calories. Now I am not good with math problems but I am pretty sure the regular wheat bread kicks the ass of the "light" wheat bread. I could be wrong on this. So I look at the regular again to make sure I was seeing things and that is when I noticed it looking at me as if to say "You think I am fat. Everyone does but really I am just wearing an ill fitting bread bag." "Everyone thinks the light bread is so thin but really he is just wear vertical stripes."
I reply "I don't think you are fat indeed I see through the smoke screen of that false idol "light" wheat bread and choose you." We are both happy "Keylimekeylimekeylime."

I move on with my shopping till I see an old friend at the end of an aisle. "Pringles can!! how are you?" I am well" He sighs. "Whats the matter?" I ask. "I feel abandoned by you." "Well, Pringles can I hate to say it you were very bad for me I had to start seeing other foods, ones that were not so bad for me." "I know I just didn't think it would be forever. I know I was bad but it was only because I was with the bag of Doritos and the french onion dip and those other salty treats." That is true you all made a formidable front in my abdominal region." "Maybe if you just bought me it wouldn't be so bad. I can be friends with the fruits and vegetables. and all that other healthy crap in your cart. Seriously is that broccoli?" "Well maybe this one time as a treat." "That's it buy me! Yea!!!"

I put the can in my cart and move on. "Yogurt? Why the hell are you buying that?" "I like yogurt and its not that bad." "Whatever,...loser." I am sorry I didn't quite catch what you just said." "Nothing, hey is that the chip aisle? We could just go that way for a bit. Or there is the cookie dough."
"Look pringles can I said I would get you but not the others I have to be good." "Yea like that is going to happen." "What did you say?" " I said your hair looks nice." "Thanks I just got it cut."

So down the cereal and packaged food aisle we went. Pringles can and I reminisced. So we were in the frozen food and I found that Pringles can just wanted to go and talk with the ice cream. "Come on you know you want it fatty." "I'm sorry did you just call me "fatty"?" "Look we both know, you are not going to stick with this and you will be back to buying me and all my friends so why not just let it all go and eat what you want now." I open the freezer door and close it again leaving the pringles can behind the almost sound proof glass. I felt so good about my decision that I punch the keylime lady on my way out. Ok I didn't punch her but I would have if she had been around and I knew I would get away with it.

The end.

I wonder if the can is still in the freezer?

Funny story

2009-02-22T17:14:00.002-05:00

So yesterday was State Solo and Ensemble and I had several students participate. For the most part they did well.

The funny story comes, so to speak, as I was leaving. I stopped in the men's room before heading out. I step up to the urinal and hear some rustling I don't think anything about it because I figure it's just someone in the stall. As I turn to leave I see the stall and the four feet in it. yep the stall had two people and that is probably why they got very quiet when I came in. As I was washing my hands and leaving all I could think was "good for you".