Sub-stance - Azara Feroz Sayed

Away till early Oct'08 - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-08-31T11:00:00.004-04:00

Blog offline for Ramzaan Sabbath

Where there is no God, then everything is permitted - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-08-21T18:50:00.002-04:00

Came across this interesting article in today's 'The Bulletin', Local newspaper in Philadelphia

We are constantly reminded about the destructive consequences of religion - intolerance, hatred, division, inquisitions, persecutions of "heretics," holy wars. Though far from the whole story, they are, nevertheless, true. There have been many awful consequences of religion.

What one almost never hears described are the deleterious consequences of secularism - the terrible developments that have accompanied the breakdown of traditional religion and belief in God. For every thousand students who learn about the Spanish Inquisition and the Salem Witch Trials, maybe two learn to associate Gulag, Auschwitz, The Cultural Revolution and the Cambodian genocide with secular regimes and ideologies.

For all the problems associated with belief in God, the death of God leads to far more of them.

So, while it is not possible to prove (or disprove) God's existence, what is provable is what happens when people stop believing in God.

1. Without God there is no good and evil; there are only subjective opinions that we then label "good" and "evil." This does not mean that an atheist cannot be a good person. Nor does it mean that all those who believe in God are good; there are good atheists and there are bad believers in God. It simply means that unless there is a moral authority that transcends humans from which emanates an objective right and wrong, "right" and "wrong" no more objectively exist than do "beautiful" and "ugly."

2. Without God, there is no objective meaning to life. We are all merely random creations of natural selection whose existence has no more intrinsic purpose or meaning than that of a pebble equally randomly produced.

3. Life is ultimately a tragic fare if there is no God. We live, we suffer, we die - some horrifically, many prematurely - and there is only oblivion afterward.

4. Human beings need instruction manuals. This is as true for acting morally and wisely as it is for properly flying an airplane. One's heart is often no better a guide to what is right and wrong than it is to the right and wrong way to fly an airplane. The post-religious secular world claims to need no manual; the heart and reason are sufficient guides to leading a good life and to making a good world.

5. If there is no God, the kindest and most innocent victims of torture and murder have no better a fate after death than do the most cruel torturers and mass murderers. Only if there is a good God do Mother Teresa and Adolf Hitler have different fates.

6. With the death of Judeo-Christian values in the West, many Westerners believe in little. That is why secular Western Europe has been unwilling and therefore unable to confront evil, whether it was Communism during the Cold War or Islamic totalitarians in its midst today.

7. Without God, people in the West often become less, not more, rational. It was largely the secular, not the religious, who believed in the utterly irrational doctrine of Marxism.

It was largely the secular, not the religious, who believed that men's and women's natures are basically the same, that perceived differences between the sexes are all socially induced. Religious people in Judeo-Christian countries largely confine their irrational beliefs to religious beliefs (theology), while the secular, without religion to enable the non-rational to express itself, end up applying their irrational beliefs to society, where such irrationalities do immense harm.

8. If there is no God, the human being has no free will. He is a robot, whose every action is dictated by genes and environment. Only if one posits human creation by a Creator that transcends genes and environment who implanted the ability to transcend genes and environment can humans have free -will.

9. If there is no God, humans and "other" animals are of equal value. Only if one posits that humans, not animals, are created in the image of God do humans have any greater intrinsic sanctity than baboons. This explains the movement among the secularized elite to equate humans and animals.

10. Without God, there is little to inspire people to create inspiring art. That is why contemporary art galleries and museums are filled with "art" that celebrates the scatological, the ugly and the shocking. Compare this art to Michelangelo's art in the Sistine chapel. The latter elevates the viewer - because Michelangelo believed in something higher than himself and higher than all men.

11. Without God nothing is holy. This is definitional. Holiness emanates from a belief in the holy. This explains, for example, the far more widespread acceptance of public cursing in secular society than in religious society. To the religious, there is holy speech and profane speech. In much of secular society the very notion of profane speech is mocked.

12. Without God, humanist hubris is almost inevitable. If there is nothing higher than man, no Supreme Being, man becomes the supreme being.

13. Without God, there are no inalienable human rights. Evolution confers no rights. Molecules confer no rights. Energy has no moral concerns. That is why America's Founders wrote in the Declaration of Independence that we are endowed "by our Creator" with certain inalienable rights. Rights depend upon a moral source, a rights giver.

14. "Without God," Dostoevsky famously wrote, "everything is permitted." There has been plenty of evil committed by believers in God, but the widespread cruelties and the sheer number of innocents murdered by secular regimes - specifically Nazi, Fascist and Communist regimes - dwarfs the evil done in the name of religion.

As noted at the beginning, none of this proves, or even necessarily argues for, God's existence. It makes the case for the necessity, not the existence, of God. "Which God?" the secularist will ask. The God of Israel, the God of America's founders, "the Holy God who is made holy by justice" (Isaiah), the God of the Ten Commandments, the God who demands love of neighbor, the God who endows all human beings with certain inalienable rights, the God who is cited on the Liberty Bell because he is the author of liberty.

Dennis Prager hosts a nationally syndicated radio talk show and is a visiting fellow at the Hoover Institution at Stanford University.

Be a Woman Not a Nice Girl - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-08-17T18:30:00.003-04:00

This post is based on the book "Nice Girls don't get the Corner Office - 101 Unconscious mistakes that women make that sabotage their careers" by Dr Lois Frankel.

It is a good and fast read. Thanks to the very efficient organization of the book - even those who are fighting for time can get to it in couple of hours. The first chapter has questions to identify the 'Nice Girl' like behaviours that we might be indulging in due to lack of knowledge - holding us back professionally. Using the score in one of the seven areas (see below) - we can move to the chapter where we have scored less and within that chapter too we can skip those items from the 101s that we are comfortable with. I would recommend using this approach incase you are short of time. The stories and the guidelines provided for each of the 101s are insightful so a quick review of all would be good.

My score was high in Play and Act - while I was answering the questions - I was grinning at some of the questions - These were some of the Qs that I was doing well due to Feroz's constant push.

The "Nice Girl" beliefs related to work that help us be a "good worker" are not good enough to move up the ladder and would hit a plateau because of those is the message I could get from the book. I consider time spent in discussing personal stuff, politics etc as waste of time which was good while I was a team member but certainly not helpful in building relationships and growing in the career - Dr. Lois requests to waste time!

I intend to write down sometime soon (before I return the book) the action items for each of the 101s that I found interesting.

Do enjoy some of the Videos that I found where Dr Lois talks about
Importance of Brand Building
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdqbsFWXCwg&feature=related

Talking about football is not wast of time - it is building relationships
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQVQ4Wv8cQ8&NR=1

Every time you open your mouth its a presentation
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sL2eXCVBcfs&feature=related

Dr Lois interview in Today
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZCHix84jOw

Being professional is not acting like a man or aggresively - its about stepping into full adult woman from Nice Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aoIKv3DwSsU

http://ezinearticles.com/?Nice-Girls-Dont-Get-the-Corner-Office-101---A-Book-Summary&id=40750
1. How You Play the Game
Unfortunately, women are not as trained to participate in competitive sports. It is only recently that women started making their marks in this field. Thus, most women do not know the rules of the game of business. They simply do not know how to play it—and more importantly, how to win it. Some of the common mistakes women commit as they play the game of business are:
1. Pretending it isn't a game
2. Playing the game safely and within bounds
3. Working hard
4. Doing the work of others
5. Working without a break
6. Being Naive
7. Pinching Company Pennies
8. Waiting to be given what you want
9. Avoiding office politics
10. Being the conscience
11. Protecting jerks
12. Holding your tongue
13. Failing to capitalize on relationships
14. Not understanding the needs of your constituents

2. How You Act
Being successful in the world of business is not only dependent on your knowledge of how to play it. It is also important to know how to act, professionally. Dr. Frankel enumerates some unlikely behaviors in the workplace that can be hard career busters.
1. Polling before making a decision
2. Needing to be liked
3. Not needing to be liked
4. Not asking questions for fear of sounding stupid
5. Acting like a man
6. Telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth (so help you God)
7. Sharing too much personal information
8. Being overly concerned with offending others
9. Denying the importance of money
10. Flirting
11. Acquiescing to bullies
12. Decorating your office like your living room
13. Feeding others
14. Offering a limp handshake
15. Being financially insecure
16. Helping

3. How You Think
Changing the way you think can greatly impact a change in your career. Note the beliefs and thought patterns you learn early in girlhood that you need to reconsider and then eventually forget. Some of these are:
1. Making miracles
2. Taking full responsibility
3. Obediently following instructions
4. Viewing men in authority as father figures
5. Limiting your possibilities
6. Ignoring the quid pro quo
7. Skipping meetings
8. Putting work ahead of your personal life
9. Letting people waste your time
10. Prematurely abandoning your career goals
11. Ignoring the importance of network relationships
12. Refusing perks
13. Making up negative stories
14. Striving for perfection.

4. How You Brand and Market Yourself
Marketing oneself is as important as marketing a specific brand. Think of yourself as a brand that’s needs to be marketed effectively. Alongside these come some important points that women need to particularly remember. The following are some mistakes to avoid in marketing yourself:
1. Failing to define your brand
2. Minimizing your work or position
3. Using only your nickname or first name
4. Waiting to be noticed
5. Refusing high-profile assignments
6. Being modest
7. Staying in your safety zone
8. Giving away your ideas
9. Working in stereotypical roles or departments
10. Ignoring feedback
11. Being invisible

5. How You Sound
Put special attention to your choice words, tone of voice, speed of speech and thought organization process. These usually matter more than the content of your speech. An articulately delivered speech will help you be branded as knowledgeable, confident and competent. Remember, how you sound comprises 90% of your credibility. Take note of these common mistakes:
1. Couching statements as questions
2. Using preambles
3. Explaining
4. Asking permission
5. Apologizing
6. Using minimizing words
7. Using qualifiers
8. Not answering the question
9. Talking too fast
10. The inability to speak the language of your business
11. Using nonwords
12. Using touchy-feely language
13. Sandwich-effect
14. Speaking softly
15. Speaking at a higher-than-natural pitch
16. Trailing voice mails
17. Failing to pause or reflect before responding

6. How You Look
There is this common notion that “the best and the brightest are rewarded with promotions and choice assignments.” This is entirely wrong. Those who are competent enough, sound and look good are the ones who move forward in their careers. Statistically, research shows that 55% of your credibility comes from how you look; 38% from how you sound; and, only 7% from what you actually say. Carry yourself properly by avoiding these mistakes:
1. Smiling inappropriately
2. Taking up too little space
3. Using gestures inconsistent with your message
4. Being over- or underanimated
5. Tilting your head
5. Wearing inappropriate makeup
6. Wearing the wrong hairstyle
7. Dressing inappropriately
8. Sitting on your foot
9. Grooming in public
10. Sitting in meetings with your hands under the table
11. Wearing your reading glasses around your neck
12. Accessorizing too much
13. Failing to maintain eye contact

7. How You Respond
It is important to know how to respond to the ways others treat you. And some of the common pitfalls women do as a response to a certain gesture are as follows:
1. Internalizing messages
2. Believing others know more than you
3. Taking notes, getting coffee, and making copies
4. Tolerating inappropriate behavior
5. Exhibiting too much patience
6. Accepting dead-end assignments
7. Putting the needs of others before your own
8. Denying your power
9. Allowing yourself to be the scapegoat
10. Accepting fait accompli (irreversible or predetermined decisions)
11. Permitting others' mistakes to inconvenience you
12. Being the last to speak
13. Playing the gender card
14. Tolerating sexual harassment
15. Crying

http://paulawlife.blogspot.com/2004/09/nice-girls-dont-get-corner-office.html
Women need to be advocates for themselves by playing up their strengths - like being nurturing, accommodating and good listeners - while also adding complementary behaviors. "You don't have to be like a guy to get ahead in business, but you do have to be an adult woman," said Frankel.

One common mistake Frankel sees women make is couching statements as questions. By doing that, women hand over the power of decision-making to someone else, like the boss.Instead of using phrases like, "Would it be all right if . . .," she suggests saying, "I just want to let you know ..." or "I've got this great idea that I'd like to move forward with, and I want to give you the heads-up on it."

Women, who tend to react more quickly than men, need to instead take some time to think about how to best handle a situation, said Maureen McCormick, director of the learning and development unit in the human resources department at the University of Iowa.

Frankel's other suggestions for women include: - Don't explain ad nauseam. Women look for clues like "mmm hmm" and head nods to ensure that the message they're trying to convey is getting through. When women don't get that reinforcement, "We make our point, we make it again, and make it again," she said. "The more words you use, the more you soften a message."

Don't use minimizing words. If someone compliments you on a job well done, steer clear from saying, "It was nothing," or "I was really lucky." Instead say, "Thank you, I'm proud of what I achieved."

Do go to meetings. Women often think that poorly run meetings are a waste of time, and that they can skip them in lieu of doing more productive tasks, Frankel said. Instead, meetings should be seen as a place to network and build relationships that can benefit you in the future.

Don't apologize for other people's mistakes or misdirection. The boss gave you minimal instructions for a project. Once you've completed it, the boss says that it wasn't what he had in mind. Instead of saying, "I'm sorry," and minimizing your position, Frankel suggested, "Well, the instructions weren't clear to me. Tell me how you want it."

Do get involved in office politics. Replace the word "politics" with "relationships," Frankel said. "That's what politics is - it's about building a relationship before you need it."

Create the word on the street. A routine exercise we do in leadership classes is to ask participants to write a twenty-five-word vision statement of how they want to be described, then list the behaviors needed to get them there. You can do the same. Write down what you want others to be saying about you, then follow it up with specific actions to make it happen. In short, accept the responsibility of adulthood.

Ask for feedback. If you're worried that you are in some way acting inappropriately, ask a trusted friend or colleague for feed-back. Avoid asking a yes-no question (such as, “Did you think I was out of line?”). Try asking an open-ended question that will give you insight into how you are perceived (such as, “Tell me what I did in that meeting that helped me or hindered me from achieving my goals”).

Don't aim for perfection!!

Opposites Don't Attract - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-08-14T16:03:00.011-04:00

Thought about putting this down as I posted last time on building relationships - I remembered these words about the importance of building relationships from the book "Unlimited Power" by Anthony Robbins People are your most important resource. No matter what you want in your life, if you can develop rapport with people, you'll be able to fill their needs, and they will be able to fill yours. There is someone else who can help us accomplish our goals more quickly and easily by providing us their expertise and assistance.

Below site has the summary for 'Unlimited Power' - I used the contents from Chapter 13 ( The Magic of Rapport) for this post
http://www.motivationalmagic.com/library/ebooks/success/success%20-%20Anthony%20Robbins%20-%20Unlimited%20Power%20Home%20Study%20Course.pdf

If we remember a time when we met someone for the first time and we were completely in Sync. If we go back and try to think what it was about the person that made us feel so attuned to him/her. Chances are that both of us thought alike, or felt the same way about a movie, book, experience or had similar beliefs, or maybe our beliefs or background were same. The common-ness between two people creates instant bond - rapport!

According to Anthony Robbins, "Opposites attract", Like most things that are false has an element of truth. When people have enough in common, the elements of difference add excitement to things! I couldn't agree more when I think about my relationship with Feroz. As Anthony says, Feroz sees the world much the way I do and even adds to my perspective.

For "Opposite attract" to be true, we never think of the person we can't stand and say, "He thinks just like me". Anthony Robbins questions, "Why would we spend time with someone who disagrees with us on everything","Do people form clubs of people who are different from them" or "Why do most americans feel better about English than Iranians". Americans and English have the same religion, same justice system, same language etc. The problems results from the way the Americans and Iranians are different. When we have problems it is due to people focussing on "differences" rather than similiarity. The way to go from discord to harmony is to go from concentrating on differences to concentrating on similiarities.

One of the most important things we can do in interpersonal communications is to learn how to build excellent rapport. The basic premise of rapport is that people like people who are like themselves. The more two people have in common, the more likely they are to hit it off. Achieving rapport goes a long way towards establishing friendships, enhancing relationships, closing sales, and even getting along better with the in-laws.

Rapport is the ultimate tool for producing results with other people by building a bond instantly. Since we know that we get along well with people who are like us. We build rapport by discovering what the other person is like and changing ourselves to match them. This process is referred to in NLP as "mirroring" or "matching."

When rapport works, we feel totally in sync with the other person and the conversation flows effortlessly. Achieving excellent rapport is much more enjoyable than fidgeting awkwardly with hands in pockets, avoiding eye contact and talking about the weather. Rapport is about establishing an environment of trust and understanding, to respect and honor the other person’s world. This allows the person the freedom to fully express their ideas and feelings and know they’ll be respected and appreciated. Rapport creates the space for the person to feel listened and responded to, even when we dis-agree with what the other person says or does. Each person appreciates the other’s viewpoint and respects their model of the world. When we are in rapport with another person, we have the opportunity to enter their world and see things from their perspective, feel the way they do, get a better understanding of where they are coming from; and as a result, enhance the whole relationship. The magical bond that unites people and makes them feel like partners.

We know that only 7% of what is communicated between people is transmitted through words, 38% comes through the tone of voice, 55% of communication, the largest part, is the result of physiology (NLP Term for body language). We know that physiology - the facial expressions, the gestures, the quality and type of movements - of the person delivering a communication provides us more information than the words do by themselves. We laugh when Eddie Murphy talks - it not the words that matter as much as the delivery-his tonality and physiology-that makes you laugh. Arshad Warsi is one of Feroz's favourite in this regard since Munnabhai and for me it is Dilip Prabhavalkar who can't beat anyone.

Mirroring is about "discovering" these three aspects (words, tone, physiology) of other person's communication and mirroring them for building rapport. While the words are working on a person's conscious mind, the tonality and physiology are working on the unconscious. Their unconscious is where their brain is thinking, "Hey, this person's like me. (S)he must be okay." And because it's unconscious, it's even more effective. We're not aware of anything but the bond is formed.

Mirror favorite words or phrases or jargons used by the other person.

Mirror the tonality and phrasing, the pitch, how fast (s)he talks, what sort of pauses the person makes, the volume.

Mirror posture and breathing patterns, eye contact, body language, facial expressions, hand gestures, or other distinctive movements. Any aspect of physiology, from the way a person plants their feet to the way (s)he tilts their head.

As part of the "Mirroring" process, we need to understand the person's representation system and mirror the same in our response to their communication.

http://www.cleanlanguage.co.uk/repsys.html is a very good article on representation systems . The example below is from the article. Many relationships have been affected due to communication failure due lack of understanding the representation system. A woman who said "My husband doesn't love me. He never brings me flowers, takes me to movies, or looks at me in that special way." Her husband replied, "What do you mean, not love her...Of course I do. I tell her I love her three or four times a day!"She felt loved when she was shown visually. He thought he was loving when he told her so auditorially. He was satisfied by hearing the words "I love you," and as we all do, assumed she did too. If he had listened to the words she used to determine which Representation System she was thinking in, he would have heard the visual words and realised his declarations of love were 'falling on deaf ears.' Then he could have adapted his language and behaviour to show her he loved her, and they both would have been satisfied.It is that simple -- to listen for the Representational words which indicate in what sense the person is thinking, and to adjust your communication style to match.

The below verbal clues can be used to understand the person's representation system
GENERIC - I understand you, I want to communicate something to you, Do you understand what I'm trying to communicate, I know that to be true, I'm not sure about that, I don't like what you're doing, Life is good
VISUAL - I see your point, I want you to take a look at this, Am I painting a clear picture, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that that is true, That is pretty hazy to me, I take a dim view of your perspective, My mental picture of life is sparkling and crystal clear
AUDITORY - I hear what you're saying, I want to make this loud and clear, Does what I'm saying sound right to you, That information is accurate word for word, That doesn't really ring a bell, That doesn't resonate with me at all, Life is in perfect harmony
KINESTHETIC - I feel that I'm in touch with what you're saying, I want you to get a grasp on this, Are you able to get a handle on this, That information isas solid as a rock, I'm not sure I'm following you, What it boils down is that what you're doesn't feel right to me, Life feels warm and wonderful

The person who is talking about "how this looks" to them (visual) will probably be breathing high in the chest, speaking rapidly with shallow breathing, might be pointing, and may have hunched shoulders and an extended neck, while auditory people will more resonant voices and their breathing will tend to be more even and deep, coming from the diaphragm or the whole chest, and will have balanced muscle tension, and may fold their arms, and tilt their heads slightly to one side. Kinesthestic people speak in a slow tempo, will take long pauses between words so they can get a feel for what they're saying in their low, deep tonalities. Much of their body movement will tend to indicate tactile or external kinesthetic accessing. They often have upturned palms with arms bent and relaxed with a solid posture with their heads sitting squarely on their shoulders.

In "mirroring", it is important to observe and understand the other person's representation system - for us to provide our response in the same representation system as used by the other person - to build rapport.

If we mirror everything about another person? People feel as though they've found their soul mate, someone who totally understands, who can read their deepest thoughts, who is just like them.

We don't have to mirror everything about a person to create a state of rapport. If we just start with the tone of voice or a similar facial expression, we can learn to build incredible rapport with anyone.

We need to look for things that we can morror as unabstrusively as possible. If we mirror a person who is asthamatic or terrible twitching - instead of achieving rapport, we will lead him to think we are mocking him.

Mirroring is a natural process of rapport. We already do it unconsciously - Mirroring provides us a way to build rapport anytime we wish, with anyone, even a stranger. When we are mirroring, we get the benefits of another person's feelings and experiences and thoughts.

If we are using rapport as a tactic to manipulate another person to our way of thinking, at some level they instinctively know it and they will not respond positively. However, if we have mastered the art of rapport and our intention is to hear and be heard, to achieve win-win solutions or create genuine friendships, we will become a powerful and trusted communicator.

An "mirroring" example that Anthony talks about in the book http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_qa5373/is_200606/ai_n21392207
Robbins was relaxing in Central Park, New York, and noticed a man sitting across from him. Without really thinking about it, Robbins began to subtly copy the man's behaviour. At first he sat in a similar way to the man, breathed the way he was breathing and swayed his head a little as he did. The other man was throwing breadcrumbs to the birds and Robbins did this as well. Before long the man came over to sit beside Robbins and struck up a conversation. Robbins continued to mirror the man's physical actions and his voice tone and phrases he used in speech. After a few minutes the man told Robbins that he seemed "very intelligent" and that he felt he knew him better than some people he'd known for 25 years.

As Anthony Robbins says, The meaning of our communication is the response we elicit and the responsibility of communication rests upon us. Rapport is the most accessible skill in the world not needing a book or course to learn. The only tools we need is close observation and flexibility to match other person's world. We are always communicating and interacting. Rapport is simply doing both in the most effective ways possible. We can use rapport at the grocery store, job, home, job interviews etc

The below article has exercises to practise building rapport
http://www.emofree.com/Articles2/rapport-nlp-eft.htm

Make me feel Important - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-08-11T15:00:00.002-04:00

Came across this as a form of NLP model
http://www.howtomasternlp.com/2008/05/30/outstanding-simple-pattern-you-should-start-using-immediately/

As you walk around and interact with others tomorrow, hallucinate a big sign above their head that says: “Make Me Feel Important!”

Feroz tried to impress on me this by saying 'Even God expects us to make him feel important'. All our prayers begin with praising God and then asking him for blessing us with the things we desire. We mortals certainly need to feel important too to drive to action!

Make people feel important is the "good finder" that Zig Ziglar talks about.
Look for the good in others - you will find the good in others- Compliment the good that you see in others. In short, when dealing with people, give them lots of encouragement, but don't lie or mislead them by telling them they are doing well when they are not. Sincere Compliment is one of the most effective teaching and motivations methods in existence. Compliments may seem so much air, but like air we use to fill tires in our automobiles, they can really ease us along life's higway!

Wedding Anniversary - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-08-08T04:58:00.004-04:00

Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary! I couldn't help remembering our last wedding anniversary which we marked by 'watching our first film together in a theatre'.

We watched one of Feroz's favourite movies - Bourne Ultimatum. On our way back, we were fooling about what our 'code under duress' should be. Infact Bourne Identity happens to be the first movie we watched together. I was never into action films - Feroz converted me to a Bourne movies fan!

Feroz wouldn't mind spending money on the DVD to see it in leisure on the home projectorTV system. This allows him to irritate me by playing some of the dumb dialogues again and again! Moreoever I think one more reason is - this allows him to read the names of the people contributing to the film by pausing and going thru the list of names - I love to see him read the names with such fervour! I say to myself - if a person can be excited to know about people contributing to a movie - he will always find something to keep his heart & mind fresh with learning - Life will never be a drudgery for this person - Amen!

As I mentioned in the earlier post, 'The Secret', that Feroz is an embodiment of all the things that I said 'that is nice' in my heart - I would admire the few people waiting after the movie was over to read the names and thank (token of thanks) the many people contributing to the making of the movie. I don't know how it all happened - was it law of attraction as definded in the 'The Secret' or something else! Whatever it is - God has been very kind to get Me and Feroz - two complete strangers - together! Pray his blessings continue on us for the rest of our lives - Amen!

Anniversaries always make us reflect on our life and for me, my life with Feroz transformed me from mediocre person - playing it safe - not wanting much from life - to a individual taking risks, making decisions - to enjoy the many things that life has to offer! And equally important, kindling in me the desire for sharing with others the importance of taking decisions - to enjoy life to the fullest!!

Pray Me and Feroz grow in each other's love for the rest of our lives!!

Suzuki Learning Philosophy - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-08-06T23:06:00.003-04:00

I read about Schinichi Suzuki in Zig Zilgar's See You at the Top book. Though there are many programs in Japan using Suzuki's style for learning especially music. There is a school in Atlanta following Professor Suzuki's style of learning. http://www.suzukilearning.com/philosophy.htm

Schinichi Suzuki is an unusual japanese scientist who performs what many people consider to be one of the miracles of our time. He takes babies a few weeks old and starts playing beautiful, recorded music next to their beds. He plays the same tune many times and after about thirty days he repeats the procedure with another recording. He continues this process until the infant is about two years old. At that time, he starts about three months of music lessons for mother, with the two-year-old as an observer. Next he puts a minature violin in the hands of the child, who begins to get the feel of the instrument while learning bow movements. This first lesson lasts only two or three minutes. From there they gradually build up to an hour. By the time the child is old enough to learn that the violin is supposed to be difficult to play, he has already mastered it and is having fun in the process. Professor Suzuki conducted a concert with some 1,500 of these japanese children performing. Average age of the children was about seven and they played the classics-Chopin, Beethoven, Vivaldi etc. Significantly, Suzuki emphasizes that the vast majority of these children had no "natural" misucal talent. However, he believes every child has talent that can be developed by following the same procedure we use in teaching children to speak. A baby is around older people who constantly talk, so the first step is "exposure". Next, the baby tries to talk, which is "imitation". Friends and relatives brag on the baby, which gives "encouragement" and motivates the baby to try again. This is the process of "repitition". Then the baby starts adding words and tying them together into phrases or sentences. This procedure is "refinement". At age three or four, the child has quiet a vocabulary and still can't read a word. Professor Suzuki maintains that virtually anything can be learnt by the same method.

Reticular Activating System - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-08-04T16:52:00.011-04:00

The excitement for knowing about NLP was created by the many references to the NLP material in Tony Robins books.
Below are some interesting ideas on "Why goal setting/visualizing/empowering beliefs and values are important". We need to provide information to our brain - to know what to focus on - to know what to filter in and what not to filter out - what is important and what is mundane - to avoid losing the crucial information being filtered out by the brain. Goal Setting/ Visualization/ Empowering Beliefs and Values provide the focus and direction necessary for our mind to know what is important/"moral". The ideas below are from "NLP for Dummies" book by Romilla Ready and Kate Burton.

Interesting ideas about our Unconscious Mind
1. We know that Conscious mind is that part of the mind which has awareness of things around and within us at any given point of time. The conscious mind is the short-term memory which can hold thoughts from minutes to hours. The rest of our memory is unconscious or subconscious mind.
2. We also know that Conscious mind excels at logic, analysis, processing sequentially etc while unconscious is better at creativity, strong memory, intuition, emotion etc
3. Our unconscious can't process negatives making it very important to have positive goals. It interprets everything we think as a positive thought so if we think, "I don't want to be poor", our unconscious mind focuses on 'poor' and because it doesn't processes negative, the thought becomes, "I want to be poor". Being poor then becomes the goal in your unconscious mind and like a yound child, desperate to please, it helps to behave in a way that will keep us poor!
4. Our unconscious mind needs direction - what next to work on, necessitating meditation to connect the conscious and unconscious mind
5. Unconscious mind stores all our experiences, including all the repressed memories (unresolved negative emotions), which are presented to us for examination to release trapped emotions - e.g. childhood memories of hurt being presented in our mid life etc - the timing for surfacing the trapped emotions to us by the unconscious is a surprise!
6. Unconscious mind needs to be fed with new experiences all the time. Lest it gets busy with unconstructive addictions, we can engage it in activities which will keep us mentally fit like reading, puzzles etc which cause our brain cells to grow more physical dendrites (branches of brain cell)
7. Unconscious behaves like a highly moral being. Our unconscious mind will keep us on the straight and narrow path of whatever morality it has learnt (our beliefs - our version of truth - not necessarily the "truth") - by enforcing its morality on us - even if society judges that morality wrong. A terrorist will kill and destroy without qualms because his moral code teaches him to be a freedom fighter. He is made to believe by the unconscious that he is actually being a moral person in fighting against a criminal society. On the other hand, if our unconscious mind decides that we need to be punished for some of our actions, which doesn't fits its moral code - even though there are no specific social laws for those - we will be wrecked with guilt and exihibit behaviour to punish ourselves. This necessiates feeding the right content to our unconscious to build the right moral code of conduct for our unconscious - a good self image, goals. At the same time it is important to understand and work with guilt emotions presented to us by the unconscious.

Reticular Activating System (RAS)
There are approximatey 2 billion pieces of data comin in throught our five senses every second. Only miniscule of the information we receive through our five senses is filtered and lodged in the brain. Our antenna RAS recieves the information that is of interest to us. The information filtering critirea for RAS is
1. If the information is important to our survival. For e.g. if we are jay walking and in a day dream, we will be alerted to traffic bearing down on us
2. If the information has novelty value. When we decorate our house, we start noticing the changes we made but slowly we start ignoring those changes as the novelty value reduces.
3. If the information has high emotional content. A mother will be alert when the baby's breathing changes but will sleep throught husband's snoring.
4. If the information is above RAS's threshold of observation. Anything below this threshold is mundane, routine. Novelty value (visualizing goals everyday), our empowering beliefs (believing "I am lucky and an oppurtunity will come by soon" helps us see oppurtunities and achieve goals) and values determine RAS's threshold of observation - determines the information captured and not filtered out and lost.

Goal setting/Visualizing/Empowering Beliefs and Values help us set the right focus for RAS which in turns provides us the info needed to achieve success. Is RAS the reason for the success of "Law of Attraction" (refer earlier post "The Secret")

http://graciousliving.typepad.com/the_write_event/2007/08/the-reticular-a.html has examples of RAS specifically for the sales person is the tip wherein if a customer says "not interested" they mean to say "not interested at this time"

This article links the ideas mentioned in "Luck Factor" to RAS - apart from importance of action - the people with Midas touch know what to focus on - putting the RAS to work
http://www.articlesbase.com/self-improvement-articles/how-a-filtering-process-in-your-brain-can-be-preventing-you-from-achieving-success-380824.html

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5vyLyFo77M View the short video by James Ray which introduces how our beliefs and RAS are connected

http://witnit.blogspot.com/2005/02/1-how-mind-works.html is a 9 part posting on how the working of subconsciou with lot and lot of examples
- How we perceive the world based on "our version of truth" our beliefs and how our beliefs in turn influence the filtering mechanism of RAS
- The blindspots created by our mind (missing on counting 'F' is a very good example of this) . Count Fs in
FINISHED FILES ARE THE RESULT
OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY
COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE
OF MANY YEARS OF EXPERTS
read article for answer. How many other such blind spots would be stopping us from achieving success by not focussing on the right things (by not having goals). Our RAS would be junking stuff that would be important to us.
- The thermostat of our mind that measures every experience and kicks on the heater or cooler based on the picture or "beliefs" or "our version of truth" that we have set as thresholds. If we "know" that we are not good in math, then if we do well on a math exam, we will suffer anxiety because doing well is "not like us." Our Censor then will correct for the error of success and we will do poorly on the next exam. We can program our subconscious by changing the pictures or "beliefs" or "our version of truth". Tony Robins refers beliefs as lies as they can be changed.
- Each time we come upon an experience, our conscious mind perceives, associates, evaluates, and decides what to do. If we perceive something slithering in the grass and we hear a rattle. We associate that with our experience and memory--a rattlesnake. We evaluate it. This is not good. A rattlesnake can bite and poison us and so we decide to run away.
- Subconcious mind is the repository of habits(e.g. driving or typing in auto mode without thinking about driving or typing) , attitudes (e.g. our continous like or dislike of something) created based on our beliefs or "our version of truths" and values
- The blind spots are created by our subconscious mind to reject information that doesn't fits "in our version of truth" i.e. when we declare "My keys are nowhere to be found." Immediately, our Censor builds a blindspot against our actually seeing the keys. Why? Because we would appear foolish (insane) after having made our statement. So then someone else finds them (in an obvious place where we had looked several times). The knowledge of blindspots applies when we judge others too. We judge others based on "our version of truth" - ignoring all their talents and good work they are doing.
- Subconscious minds will help us solve problems by providing the necessary drive, creativity - which is what we do when we set our goals - we give our subconscious mind a problem to work on
- You don't get what you want in life; you get what you picture i.e. we get what we focus on. When we learn to ride a bicycle as a child we learn a simple fact very quickly. If there is a rock in the road, we don't focus on it. If we do, we end of hitting it. The harder we try to avoid the rock, the more we are drawn to it. To avoid the rock, rather than focusing on the rock we focus on the path around the rock. This is why in disaster training, airplane pilots do not practice crashes, they practice recoveries.

Some interesting facts
- Women have thicker corpus collosum than men, which enables them to multi task better

See You At the Top - Attitude - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-31T22:35:00.016-04:00

Attitude is the fourth step on the Stairway to the Top

Ziglar introduces this step by saying our attitude is more important than aptitude for being successful. We can alter our lives by altering our attitudes. The difference between accomplishment and failure is having the right mental attitude.

Unfortunately, only 10% of our education is directed at our "feelings" or attitudes while 90% of our education is directed at acquiring facts and figures. The 10% too is directed at athletic events such as band, pep, squad, cheerleader etc. A Harvard study revealed that 85% of the reason for success, accomplishments, promotions etc. were because of our attitudes and only 15% because of our technical expertise i.e. we are spending 90% of our educational time and dollars on developing that part of us which accounts for 15% of our success. We spend 10% of our time and resources in developing 85% of our success.

Feroz's college in India was the only college that I had heard of offering soft skills trainings starting from graduate levels. I had heard about the founder of the college, Mr Doreswamy, being a visionary and these programmes as part of student development activities just put a stamp on it.

View Ziglar's video on attitude http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cRMogDrHnMQ

To illustrate how attitude affects in our life, Ziglar says, If we study for grades, we will get them. If we study for knowledge, we will get even better grades and considerably better knowledge. If we strive to make a sale, we will probably make it. Strive to make a sale in such a way that we build a career, we will sell more and will build our career in the process. If we work for salary, we will get one. If we work for the betterment of the company we represent, we will not only get a bigger salary but will also get personal satisfaction as well as respect from our colleagues.

Attitude is contagious like flu. If we want to catch the right mental attitude, we have to go where the right attitude exists. Starting with right people. If people are not available then use a book, exciting seminar, recording of a dynamic speaker. Our mind is like a garden. Between planting and harvesting there is a tremendous increase in the number of beans. Whatever is planted - it is multiplied. Every action we take and every thought we put into our mind is going to have its effect. Ensure we make positive deposits in our mind. Whatever we put into our mind is going to come out of it. A positive attitude will have positive results. Or history teaches us how people fell victim to the idealogy that was forced on to their mind by one man!

Ziglar refers "Hardening of the attitudes" as the most deadliest disease (attitude issue) that sends more people to an early grave, creates more drug addicts, alcholics, breaks up marriages, causes more unemployement and causes more crime than all other attitudes put together. There is a vaccine available which is free, painless and provides additional benefits (such as raise from the boss for protecting himself and his fellow workers from this highly contagious disease, improvement in mental and physical health, zest for living, improves relationships with all even with strangers, improvement in job performance etc). With so many benefits to reap, it is difficult to understand why anyone would not take the vaccination against "Hardening of the attitude" i.e. to work on developing the right mental attitude. Failures think successful people are positive because they earn $250,000 a year. The reverse is true, Successful people earn $250,000 a year because they have the right mential attitude.

#1 - Developing Enthusiasm for all that life has to offer is step towards developing right mental attitude. Psychologists have long known that we will be enthusiastic if we act enthusiastic. If we assume a trait of characteristic - then eventually it will grab us - we will possses it. e.g. Singing (in the shower - bath right) - we do not sing because we are happy but we are happy because we sing. We can't be negative at the top of our voice. On the same lines, we do not stop working and playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop working and playing. Develop alternative signs, symbols for negative things like "go light" for "stop", "red", "traffic" light - when we use them - we will smile at ourselves and our attitude will change while we are waiting at the light. Refer "having cold" with reference to "having warm on other days", Refer "weekends" as "strong end" - a few tips to help us change our attitude. A day is a miniature lifetime, and with lot of good days, we have a good life. The difference between a good teacher and great teacher, good mother and great mother, good speaker and great speaker is enthusiasm. Real enthusiasm is not a "put on" or "take off" to fit the occasion. It is a way of life. It is an outward expression of an inner feeling. Loudness is not necessarily an indication of, enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is "on call" 24hrs a day for us, we will have to use it! An attitude of enthusiasm, provides an effective frontal assault on one of man's greatest stumbling blocks in the climb to the top of the stairway, namely, procastination!

#2 - Always keep in mind, Success is not about comparing with other's success. Success is, measured by comparing, what we could have done with the ability God has given us

#3 - Learn to laugh at self as the person who can't laugh at self can't tolerate someone else laughing at him. It is a sign of emotional maturity and stability to be able to laugh at self.

#4 - Set your sail for Success, be prepared to make minor adjustments in the course, if there are any - Our direction determines our destiny. On our way to success, there are going to be numerours diversions and occurences over which we have no control. We can't predict for certainity what things stand between us and our destination. When something throws us slightly off course, it isn't necessary to go all the way back to the original departure point, make a slight adjustment and proceed towards the destination.

#5 - Satisfy Mental Hunger - From our neck below, very few people would make more than a few hundred dollars a week. From the neck up, there is no limit to how much an individial is worth. We feed the part below the neck everyday. We need to feed our minds, the part that has no limit to its value, earning and happiness potential. Instead of feeding to happen accidentally, occasionally due to the excuse of "lack of time", we need to take time-off to feed the part which has no ceiling to its potential as we take time-off to feed the rest of our body. We need to spend time and money of dressing the "inside" of our head.
Giving the analogy of greens to bring out the importance of attitude of learning, Ziglar says, as long as the vegetables are green, they are growing, but when they get ripe, they start to rot. As Peter Drucker expressed, "Knowledge has to be improved, challenged and increased constantly or it vanishes". Our production capacity will go down if we don't sharpen our axe.
In every field of endeavour - those who are headed for the top are the ones who regularly show up fo seminars at their own expense. They read books. They deliberately seek information to grow. They transform "dead" time that is spent in fighting traffic to "live" time by listening to educational audio information that will give the mental and emotional advantage in today's competitive world. Ziglar refers to this learning as learning in "Automobile University". The learning that happens on the drive from home to work will help you start your day with energy as your brain's neurtransmitters are in action already. When you are moving - listen. When you are seated - read. Our mind like the body must be constantly nourished. Nourishment must be physical, mental, spiritual
Ziglar brings about an interesting idea, the Indian didn't have the word "stutter" and so there was no Indian who "stuttered" as there was no way an Indian could picture "stuttering". Research has proved that bigger a person's vocabulary, the bigger the income. Try to improve your vocabulary conscioulsy. Refer earlier post "Donate Rice to Improve your vocabulary". Remove the word "hate" and replace with "love". Don't think about "prejudice". We need to change our mental diet and eliminate negative input.
#6 - Use the power of subconcious to strengthen our attitudes - We know that whatever we learn, we learn consciously. But when we do it subconsciously, we do it well - like learning to drive a car consciously - to driving a car subconciously. Learning to Type conciously and Typing unconciously. Every musician, went through the process of painfully learning consciously (people avoided listening to them) when the musician plays instinctively, subconciously - then everyone wants to listen to him. Once we learn to do something consciously, we can move it to the subconcious and do it well. The subconcious has unlimited potential and storage capability for all the information that we feed it. Since the subconscious mind never sleeps, we have extra learning and motivation time while our conscious mind sleeps. "Don't take your problems to bed", is wrong, as we go to sleep, we should thank God for all the blessing and turn the question to him. Let the unconscious mind work on it. Instead of doodling - start writing "I Can, I Can, I Can..." and then spell out specifically what we can achieve or write "I will, I will, I will..." and then spell out the goals - these will be etched on the subconscious - making sure we are sailing in the right direction. Once our right mental attitudes are in auto mode, we will instinctively and automatically react positively to the negative situations (diversions on our course to Success) we encounter in life.
The changes we bring in ourselves could have one of the following motivations
- "fear" - fear of losing something - e.g. losing a job". This motivation will work only in specific situations where there is fear of losing something.
- "carrot" - reward for accomplishment - e.g. a bonus. This motivation won't work once the participant moves into "comfort zone"
- "internal" - Motivation by changing the way we think about ourselves and our circumstances.
The "internal" motivation for developing the right mental attitude and embedding the right mental attitude in our subconcious will help us react positively all the time!

Most of the men who were moving to the top were not "paying a price". They worked hard becuase they truly enjoyed their careers and the work involved. The top people in any field get involved in what they are doing, become engrossed, dig in, and their success comes because they love what they are doing. They choose to spend those hours at their work. They have a job but most importantly their job has them. In short, they have a tremendous attitude, which often changes a job from drudgery to pure joy.

For our employer to pay us more, we need to make ourselves more valuable to him - by extra effort - extra loyalty - extra enthusiasm - extra hours and by assuming extra responsibilities. These steps gaurantee job in hard times and raises and promotions during bad times

We can't tailor-make the situations of life but can tailor-make the attitude to fit the situations in life in face of "hopeless" situations. The only people who do not have problems are those in cemeteries. If we have problems, it simply means we are alive and the more problems we have we are more alive!
Step 1: Most of us let our conditions control our attitudes instead of using attitude to control conditions. If "things" are good, our attitude is good. If "things" are bad, our attitude is bad. If we have a strong attitude foundation - our attitude will be good inspite of how good or bad "things" are. How we handle negative situations like "Kicking the Cat" (refer earlier post on "Managing Relatioships") will largely determine our success and happiness in life. We should be like the leaky tire. A defeat should take something out of us and deflate us a bit. If we don't deflate, it is a strong signal that we didn't mind losing but also that we weren't emotionally involved in wanting to win. Remembering that - if we learn from defeat we haven't really lost - will ensure we move closer to being the winner - as each attempt of defeat teaches us - "what will not work".
Step 2: There are seldom, if ever, any "hopeless" situations, we lose hope in face of some situations.
Step 3: We have to remember that the "hopeless" situations are temporary
Step 4: Set the time-limit on how long we plan to stay down. The reason in when we are down, we are likely to reject many valuable ideas. When we are down in dumps we are more likely to concentrate more on the problem than on the solution.
Step 5: Get up! We are once again emotionally up and riding high. Our imagination will be in high gear and we are considerably more responsive to positive suggestions of our capability. We are solution conscious instead of problem conscious. We will be specialist who isn't overwhelmed with the problem and is interested in finding solutions. We are responsive to good ideas and more likely to act on those ideas. And our performance will soar!

Some interesting points
* Smile is one little curve that sets lot of things straight
* Good things happen to people who expect good things
* We ourselves can use our potential - what a responsibility!
* It is not the situation, but the way we react to it that's important. It is the attitude shown in unpromising or negative situations in life. It is shown in the attitude of two men who had polio. One became a beggar and the other Franklin D Roosevelt. What happens to us is not the most important thing - with discipline, dedication, determination and desire, we can respond positively and enhance our chances of victory.
* Failure road is cluttered with people - trying to explain to anyone willing to listen - why something cannot be done
* Successful people capitalize on "What they are" rather than "What they are not" and the positive qualities of patience, humility, dependability, confidence, understanding and belief
* Our major problem is not lack of resources but lack of resourcefullness.
* Happiness is not pleasure it is victory!
* Desire is the ingredient that enables a person with average ability to successfully compete with those who have far more. Desire is the "extra" that makes the little difference and the little differences make the big difference in life. Desire is the difference between the average performer and champion
* Success is determined by taking the hand you are dealt with and utilizing it to the very best of our ability
* Less than our best efforts has us saying "If Only"
* Doing our best is more important than being being the best
* Rewards in life are due more to our behaviour than our birth
* When we sow an action, we reap a habit; when we sow a habit, we reap a character; when we we sow a character, we reap destiny
* Ability can take you to the top, but it takes character to keep you there
* Success and happiness are not destinations. They are exciting, never-ending journeys.
* If we build our people, our people will build the business
* Give employees the reason for doing things - they will feel they are part of the project and not just employees following orders. Results would be better.
* We acquire the characteristics of the people we associate with on a steady basis but we also become immune and desensitized to the noise and odors or our environment
* All bad habits, trends etc start slowly, quietly and apparently harmlessly. Before we know we have the habit, the habit has us. A slight concession in habits leads to bigger concessions until eventually the bad habits become a way of life
* When a 200 pound craves for cigarrete (1/10th ounce) - wish we were creatures of logic instead of emotion
* The chains of habit are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken
* We build our character from the bricks of habit we pile up day by day
* When we acquire "tough" habits, they become "fun" habits, especially when we remember that doing the tough things today will prepare us to do the big things tomorrow
* Get any good habit and you get an automatic bonus in form of additional good habbit due to the discipline and confidence that you have gained in the process of building one. After some time we will not be working for the habits but the habits will work for us.
* Good habits are hard to acquire but easy to live with. Bad habits are easy to acquire but hard to live with
* Parents feed children - love, obedience, faith, integrity etc
* Teacher feed children - honesty, patriotism, persistency, attitude etc
* Professor feeds - goal setting, character, co-operation etc
* Employer feeds - loyalty, total effort, dedication etc
* "Carrot motivation" - In the picture of the donkey pulling the cart. In this picture, the carrot is dangling in front of the donkey. When the donkey walks towards the carrot, he pulls the cart. There are several factors that must be present for this motivation to work. The cart has to be light enough, the stick holding the carrot must be short enough, and the carrot enticing enough to get the donkey to do the job. Experience teaches us that we must permit the donkey to take an occasional bite of the carrot in order to keep him from being discouraged.. Otherwise, he's going to feel he is involved in an excercise in futility and will quit trying for the carrot. When the donkey gets the bite of the carrot, he satifies his appetite. When he's no longer hungry, some adjustments must be made. For example, the stick must be shortened, the carrot sweetened, and the load lightened if the donkey is to be motivated into action. Eventually, the process reaches a stage where it becomes impractical. The rewards or incentives are so high that the profit is removed from the picture and the program grinds to a halt or in the occassion the participant reaches a "comfort zone" and doesn't need - or want - more comfort or carrots. The internal motivation is a lasting motivation - Work on getting that ignited for self and others!

See You At The Top - Goals - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-31T16:14:00.010-04:00

Goals is the Third Step on the Stairway to the Top

J.C. Penney's words, "You give me a stock clerk with a goal, and I'll give you a person who will make history; but you give me a person without those goals, and I will show you a stock clerk.", brilliantly bring out the importance of Goals. We don't "pay the price" for acheiving goals we enjoy the benefits of acheiving goals exactly like we don't pay a price for good health but we enjoy the the benefits of good health. We don't pay the price for success, we enjoy the benefits of success. We pay the price for failure!! Also, important to remember is, What we get by reaching our goals is not nearly as important as what we become by reaching them.

Ziglar talks about series of experiments with some "processionary" caterpillars, so named because they follow each other in a procession. They lined them around a flower pot until they formed a never-ending circle. And they started going round and round and round. In the center of the flower pot was some pine needles which is one of the foods of the "processionary" caterpillar. 24 hours they went round and round, then 48 hours, then 72 hours, on and on they went. For 7 full days and 7 full nights they went round and round until they literally dropped dead from starvation and exhaustion. With an abundance of their favorite food 6 inches away they had starved to death because they confused activity with accomplishment. Many people make the same mistake and as a result reap only a small fraction of the harvest life has to offer. Despite of the fact that untold waelth lies within reach, they acquire very little of it because they blindly, without question, follow the crowd in a circle to nowhere. They follow methods and procedures for no other reason than "it's always been done that way". Unless we have definite, precise, clearly set goals, we are not going to realize the maximum potential that lies within us. We will never make it anywhere in life as a "wandering generality". We must be "meaningful specific".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ae-VJ_lauCw - Has three part video of Ziglar on Goal Setting. The ideas mentioned in the videos are not covered in this post. Don't miss it!

As always, Ziglar talks about a interesting story to introduce a beautiful way for managing our time effectively, to help us work on our goals - since lack of time is an excuse that is used often for not working on Goals. Imagine we receive an offer to take a three-day all taken care of trip for two to Acapulco - and the trip starts tomorrow. Since we don't want to let this offer go by, we list down tasks and prioritize tasks that MUST get done in the next three days. We delegate those responsibilites. And we are ready to take the trip next day. If we want anything badly - we must make it our goal and work towards getting to it. Why don't we go to Acapulco everyday? Why don't we list down the things that we need to do in the next three days. Then act as if we had only one day to do three day's work. This will also force us to put our "Thinking Cap" on. We will use our mental capacity to think, plan and delegate before we start working. Our life will have a direction. It is not lack of time but lack of direction which is the problem. We will move from a "wandering generality" to a "meaningful specific". Ziglar implores on each of us to use this tactic to do more in the next 24 hours than we normally would do in the next several days. We should be arrested for murder for "killing time". Though Goals need to be Long Range, to help us overcome any short range frusterations, Our daily objectives are the best builders of character. This is where dedication, discipline and determination matter. Here we take the glamour of the big, long-range goal or dream and get right down to the nitty-gritty of foundation building that will help make certain that our dream becomes our destiny. Daily habits build a solid character foundation which supports all significant long-term success. Everybody's daily goals should be to do the best they can today while preparing for better tomorrow. The future is the place where we are going to spend rest of our life.

The reason only 3% of American people commit their goals to paper is
1. They have been told about Goal Setting but never been "sold" on the benefits of Goal Setting.

2. Lack of knowledge on the process of Goal Setting. To bring out the importance of setting specific goals Ziglar gives this wonderful analogy. If on the hottest day in the world, we take the most powerful magnifying glass and some newspaper clippings. If we hold the magnifying glass over the newspaper clippings, even though we magnify the power of the sun through the glass, we will never start a fire - if we keep the glass moving. However, if we hold the glass still and focus it on the paper, we harness the power of the sun and multiply it through the glass and we can start a fire. No matter how much power, brilliance or energy we have. If we don't harness it and focus it on a specific target - we will never be able to accomplish as much as our ability warrants. "Lot of maney", "nice house", "high paying job", "more education" are general targets and not specific goals. We need to have clearly defined, specific goals. http://www.yesican.net/lessons/acheiver/goals/GOALS.doc has a template to use for goal setting. http://www.goals-2-go.com/articles/zig-ziglar-goal-setting.htm has things to keep in mind while goal setting.

3. Fear of not reaching their goals - F-E-A-R means False Evidence Appearing Real. Several years ago a young Cuban hijacked a plane to Cuba with a bar of soap. Was all he had. He put the soap in a box, he said to the captain of the aircraft, "This is a bomb, let's go to Cuba." They went to Cuba. The evidence was false, but it appeared real and consequently they acted accordingly. Now, tomorrow morning I get on a plane as I do an awful lot of the mornings and I'll be headed to Dallas, Texas. Now, I recognize the fact that when I get aboard that plane there's a certain amount of danger involved; as you know, some planes do come down an awful lot faster than they go up. There's a certain amount of danger for that plane. But let me tell you something fascinating. There's even more danger for that plane if it stays of the ground. Did you realize that an airplane will literally rust out sitting on the runway faster than it'll wear out flying in the air? That's what airplanes are built for. You see, there's a certain danger in setting goals; but there's an even greater danger if you do not set those goals. Many years ago, Oliver Wendall Holmes, who was a brilliant writer, a very famous jurist, an inventor, an unusual man, put it this way: "The greatest loss in our society is not the waste of our natural resources, though that is great." He said, "The great loss to society is the waste of our human resources simply because we do not recognize our own ability and then aim that ability in a specific direction." Yes, there's a certain amount of risk in setting goals, but there's even more risk in not setting them. The risk comes from the fact that, truthfully, you might not reach your goal and then where are you going to be? You might be a little embarrassed about it; but let me say it again, the risk is infinitely greater if you do not set them because you will be unable to use the incredible ability which you have.
It is safer for a ship to be in a harbor or a plane to be on ground but that is not what a ship or plane is meant for. The Ship or Plane would rust much faster if they stay in harbor or on ground. The risk is greater when we don't set goal. Just as ships are meant to sail in seas and planes to fly, we too are created for a purpose. We are here for a reason. Goals enable us to do more ourselves and others.

4. Poor Self-Image. They don't think they deserve the good things life has to offer, so why bother write down. The way we see life will largely determine what we get out of it. Take a bar of iron and use it for a door stop and it's worth a dollar. Manufacture horse shoes from that bar and they are worth 50$s. Take the same basr of iron, remove the impurities, refine it into fine steel, manufacture it into mainsprings for precision watches and it is worth a quarter of a million dollars. The way we see the bar of iron makes the difference. The way we see ourself and our future makes the difference. We need to have a big goal. Booker T Washington said, "Measure the size of accomplishment by the obstacles that had to be overcome, to reach the Goals".

Goals can be negative if one of the three conditions exists
1. If we don't believe that we are the architect of accomplishment and that "luck" is not involved
2. If Goals are unrealistically big
3. If they are outside our area of interests

A Goal properly set is partially reached because it is strong statement of our belief that we can and will reach it. Success is easier after we believe! Once we have arranged our goals in the order of their importance, we should list the obstacles that stand between us and our objectives. If there wasn't anything between us and our Goals, we would have already achieved our Goals. After we have listed our obstacles, we can formulate a plan to overcome them and set a time schedule. As we all know, if we have properly identified a problem, we have it half solved. Overcoming the obstacles becomes easier and faster once we have identified them. As we overcome obstacles on our way to one goal, the obstacles on the way to other goals become easier based on the confidence gained due to overcoming the obstacle. Confidence is the handimen of success.

If we keep our eyes on the goal, the chances of reaching the goal are immeasurably better. A Goal casually set and lightly taken is freely abandoned at the first obstacle

Ziglar talks about a saleman who planned and met his Goal of being the best performer in the company. Ziglar mentions that he acheived this by working harder and smarter. The saleman applied the principles of Goal Setting and Goal Reaching

He maintained records to find out where he was
He committed to paper the goals he wanted to achieve on a yearly, monthly and daily basis
He was very specific in defining his Goals ($104,000)
He set the goal big - but reachable - to create excitement and challenge
He made the goal long range (one year) so he would not be overcome by daily frusterations
He listed obstacles between him and goals and formulated a plan to overcome the obstacles
He broke the goals into daily increments
He was absolutely convinced he would reach his goals
He visualized himself as already reaching his goal. If we want to reach our goal, we must "see the reaching" in our mind before actually arrive at our goal.
He organized his time and learned the value of a minute. He found that 10 minutes here and 20 minutes there soon add up to one to two hours per day. This was eight to ten hours per week. 400 to 500 hours a year! He discovered that everyone doesn't have 60 minutes in an hour, 24hrs in a day, or seven days in a week. Each man only has as many minutes, hours and days as he uses.

To illustrate the importance of "Defining Goals" and "Believing" and "Visualizing" them, Ziglar brings out the analogy of torpedo. When the torpedo was aimed at the target and fired, it would establish a "fix" on that target. If the target moved or changed directions, the torpedo would change its direction. Interestingly enought the torpedo was designed after the human brain. Inside our brain there's something that enables us to "zero in" on a target. Even if the target should move, or we should be side tracked, once we have gotten our "fix", we will still hit the target.

Similar to the ideas mentioned in "Law of Attraction" (refer earlier post "The Secret"), Ziglar says that once we define, believe and visualize our goals, the unseen forces inside of us start "putting it all together" and propel us towards destination.

We need to be flea trainers - the flea trainers are not influenced by the SNIOPs (Susceptible to the Negative Influence of Other People) of life. You can request for the "Flea Training Certificate" by sending a request along withan 8 1/2 x 11 self-addressed envelope stamped with two firsr-class stamps to : Ziglar Training Systems, 2009 Chenault Dr., #100, Carrolton, TX 75006.

We need to "practice without pressure" will lead to better performance when there is pressure

Ziglar refers our ability of not knowing what we cannot do and so going ahead and doing it as "Intelligent Ignorance". Our gift of Intelligent Ignorance leads us to success. Henry Ford didn't believe that we wouldn't be able to build a V8 and insisted on his team to build one for him. His team was sure that it couldn't be built but Henry Ford insisted all the time on having one.

Some interesting ideas in the book
* There ain't no free lunch
* Go as far as you can see, and when you get there, you will always be able to see farther
* With definite goals you release your own power and things start happening
* Make no small plans for they have no capacity to stir men's souls
* There are rich educators and there are poor educators. There are rich lawyers and there are poor lawyers. The oppurtunity lies with the individual first and then with the occupation. The occupation provides the oppurtunity only if the individual does his part. It is not the occupation or the profession that makes you succeed or fail. It is how we see ourself in our occupation that determines success or failure
* The oppurtunity for greatness doesn't comes cascading like a torrential Niagara falls, but rather is comes slowly, one drop at a time
* Pleasure (eating too much or eating the wrong foods) is very short-lived, but happiness (being pleased with our slimmer, healthier, extended life five to twenty years longer) is of much longer duration
* Reviewing the list of skills and objectives that need lot of our effort (sweat and tears) are the ones that bring the real satisfaction and rewards
* Work on your goals with the bull dog tenacity and persistence - success is just over the will or around the corner
* If we want to create a cripple, just give a man a pair of crutches for a few months. Give a man a "free lunch" long enough for him to get in the habit of getting something for nothing - we take away his resourcefulness.
* When you give a man a dole, you deny him his dignity, when you deny him his dignity, you rob him of his destiny
* The steps on the stairway to the success are there to rest our foot long enough to step higher and not to stay there. We become champion by fighting one more round
* We are often told to strike when the iron is hot. We are however not told that we need to strike to make the iron hot.
* There is no such thing as lazy person; He is either sick or uninispired
* Success family has Work as the father and Integrity as Mother. If we can get along with the parents, we won't have trouble with the rest of the family
* The most practical, beautiful, workable philosohpy in the world won't work - if we won't work! * Education can cover lot of ground but can't cultivate any of it
* We can gaurd against losing our shirts by keeping our sleeves rolled up
* Success is dependent on "Sweat" glands
* When the going gets tough the tough gets going
* 80% of the people go to work reluctantly and that explains the second rate and third rate merchandise
* In Casinos there aren't any clocks as Casino owners don't want gamblers them to be reminded of time
* Two Fleas discussing if they should walk down the hill - or take a dog? One of my friend was known for this PJ she started and the way she would say that was awesome. We would ask her to repeat it everytime there was a new audience

See You At The Top - Managing Relationships - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-28T16:33:00.008-04:00

Step 2 of "See You At The Top" is Managing Relationship with Others

Notes from the book on Managing Relationship with Others

Ziglar introduces by stating the analysis done on 100 self-made millionaires - one thing came out to be common - All of them were "good finders". The could see good in other people and in every situation.

To drive this point, Ziglar narrates an interesting anecdote about Walter Haley - how successfully he managed his Warehouse Insurance business using the 'art of managing relationships' for maximizing loyalty and productivity.
Well, I met Walter Haley, and we just hit it off and started chatting. He said, "Zig, I've got to take you and let you see one of these mammoth warehouses." Well, we walked in. I didn't know there was that much food in the world much less under one roof. It was colossal. As we walked in the front door, Mr. Haley siad, "Excuse me for a moment, Zig." He went over to the switchboard operator; and he said, "You know, I just want to tell you what a delight it is for me to dial this number. You always answer so enthusiastically. I get the feeling that you're just there waiting for me to call." Well, the lady smiled very broadly, and said, "Why, thank you, Mr. Haley, I really appreciate that comment." He walked on through the door leading into the major portion of the warehouse and as we walked down one of the corridors, he said, "Excuse me Zig, I haven't met this gentleman." We stepped into this little office. Walter Haley stuck his hand out, and he said, "I'm Walter Haley, I know who you are, but we haven't met. I also know what you've been doing. Since you took over this department we've not had the first complaint. I just wanted to tell you how pleased I am with the job you're doing." Well, the man was very pleased. He said, "Why thank you, Mr. Haley, I do the very best I can." And Walter Haley said, "Well, that is excellent, just keep it up." We walked upstairs. He walked into his office, and he walked over with me to his secretary, and he said, "Zig, I want you to shake hands with the greatest secretary who ever sat behind a desk. My wife thinks she hung the moon and can take it down whenever she wants to. So, I'm asking you right now, please don't do it, I love the moon right where it is." Well, the secretary obviously beamed broad and said, "Well, Mr. Haley, uh, you sure are kind to say that and I obviously love your wife, an thank her for me too." We walked on into his private office iand there sat one of his men. And Walter Haley said to me, "Zig, shake hands with one of the greatest life insurance men to ever put on a pair of shoes." And the salesman said, "Aw, Walter, you're always saying things like that. And of course, since they're true, I obviously love hearing you say those things. Keep it up." The whole trip tooke about five minutes. But I'm here to tell you that there were four people who were dramatically affected that day. Now, let me share something with you which is critically important, and that's this. Walter Haley is a very sincere man. He is a very observant man. The compliments were from his heart; he ws not making small talk. He was communicating what he felt. When you do things like that, I can absolutely guarantee people will respond, and they will respond in a very positive way. When you talk about building relationships there is a magnificent way to do it. It's absolutely true. You can have everything in life you want if you'll just help enough other people to get what they want. Now what did Walter Haley want? He really wants those people to be friendly, and loyal and more productive. But had he been a conniver, had he said, "Well, now I can manipulate them by bragging on them and then they will be more productive." Let me tell you something. I'm talking about a philosophy. If you can use it as a tactic, I can absolutely guarantee you it will not work. If you think you can do something for somebody else and then later they'll do something for you that is ugly, that is manipulative, it absolutely will not work. But if you look for the good and find the good and compliment the good because it is true and because you're sincere, you will build a tremendous amount of loyalty. It's a philosophy. it is not a tactic. Be a good finder.

If we are looking at reaping the most reward in all areas of life - we should look for the good in every person and in every situation and adopt the golden rule as a way of life. We also know that we treat people as we see them i.e. to find "good" or "ability" in a person we have to look for it. Once we find the "good" or "ability" in the other person, we treat them better and he performs better. And after we have "found" the good, we must ensure we spread the word. "The way we see them is the way we treat them. The way we treat them is the way they often become". If we take a man as he is, we make him worse than he was, but if we see him as being the best person possible, then he, in fact, becomes the best person possible. This is true with every one - a smarter assoiciate, spouse, kids etc - everyone improves and we make progress with them too. The self-made millionaires knew - it is important that we "see" others properly.

Sincere Compliment is one of the most effective teaching and motivations methods in existence. Compliments may seem so much air, but like air we use to fill tires in our automobiles, they can really ease us along life's higway. A wise man said, "A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could". The greatest good we can do for anyone is to share their own wealth with them - inspire them to develop the "good" inside of them - as they will seldom see the talent in themselves. We should command "best effort" from everybody and the anyone on the team should feel bad about failure only if they haven't put in their best effort.

In the earlier post "Our Legacy How Much Backward Can We Go", we saw Helen Keller attributed her achievements to her teacher Anne Sullivan. Her teacher saw Helen Keller as one of God's special person. She treated her as she saw her, loved her, disciplined her, played, prayed, pushed her and worked with Helen Keller. Making it possible for Helen to influence millions! We get the best of others when we give the best of ourselves.

One person with a belief is equal to a force of ninety-nine who have only interest. If we build people mentally, morally, physically and spiritually, they will build the business on the same foundation. People need loving the most when they deserve the least.

Ziglar talks about how his daughter learnt to be the "Happy Girl" once they started introducing her as the "Happy Girl" to everyone.

Ziglar mentions about requiring his children to refer him and his wife as "Sir" and "Ma'am" as the children would feel more secure to have someone to respect as a parent rather than just a buddy. Feroz too strongly feels that parents should not be friends with their children but should behave as parents - to discipline them - as the children have many friends. Ziglar mentions many time about the need for discipling children. Will have a separate post on this.

Ziglar brings forward dozens of stories where people have been consigned to mediocrity by someone who "saw" them in an inferior light and treated them accordingly.

We need to look for the total ability of the person, develop more patience, compassion, firmness in dealing with them. Be analytical of what the person does and not so critical about the person. Criticize the performance - not the performer. We need to understand that an individual can do a lousy job or an individual can do a bad thing, but that does not mean the individual is a lousy individual or a bad individual. Failure is an event and it's not a person. Yesterday ended last night. Remember just because and individual did not do a good job on one thing, that really has no bearing on their value as a person. And if we can retain that value as a person in their minds, then their performance will become better and better.

In short, when dealing with people, give them lots of encouragement, but don't lie or mislead them by telling them they are doing well when they are not. Encourage them by letting them know that they can do better work. That their performance is not up to "their" standards. When their image changes so will their performance. Convince them they can meet "their" high standards of performance and they will!

Ziglar mentions about the need to mark the offender's account "paid in full" - if after breaking the law the offender pays the fine for his offence. This will help them restore their self-confidence. This is a problem with our society where even after the law offenders paid for their offence by "spending time in jail", we still look at them as law offenders - not trusting them . With the way we treat them, we forces them to - go back to breaking laws and "spending time in jail".

It is so true that our actions affect others either for good or bad, positively or negatively - many of whom we will never know. It is important to maintain a proper perspective and good attitude towards others.. We play a role in the life of each person we touch. As a matter of fact, at times, we may very well hold the key to other's future.

As per Ziglar, "Blind Loyalty" between couples is the key in managing martial relationships.

In the chapter on "Attitude" Ziglar narrates an anecdote relating to "Kicking the cat" which is very important in managing relationships

But Mr. B's a little different story. Mr. B. called a meeting, had all of his people together, and he said, "Now, this is a great company we have here. It can be even greater. What I'm going to do is I'm going to start assuming more of a leadership role by setting the correct example. I'm going to start coming in early; I'll start taking reasonable lunch hours; I will stay until the office is closed. In short, I'm going to be the role model that you need to follow." Oh, it was a wonderful speech. But, you know, sometimes how those speeches go, after a period of time you kind of forget all about it. The excitment and enthusiasm dies down just a bit, and that's exactly what happened.
Mr. B. was out for lunch one day; he forgot all about the time. Suddenly, he looked at his watch and he thought to himself, "Oh boy, I'm supposed to be back to the office in 10 minutes." He hopped up, ran out to the parking lot, hopped in his automobile, scratched off, burned rubber, doing about 90 miles an hour down the freeway and the long arm of the law entered the picture, gave him a ticket. Now, you're talking about somebody who was furious, Mr. B. was absolutely furious. He said, "This is absolutely ridiculous. Here I am a peaceful, tax-paying, law-abiding citizen, minding my own business. Maybe I was going a little too fast, but, they ought to be out here looking for robbers and murderers and reaaly the bad guys -- leave us peaceful, tax-paying, law-abiding citizens alone." Aw, he was really upset.
When he got back to the office, he was about 45 minutes late. And he did what some people have always done when they get their hand caught in the cookie jar, so to speak, they point yonder, so nobody will look at them. In a loud voice he called for a sales manager. He said, "Come in here, I want to talk to you about the Armstrong account. All I want ito know is a simple yes or no. Did you make the sale, or did you miss the sale?" And the sales manager said, "Mr. B. I, I hate to tell you this. I thought it was a done deal. I thought we had it signed, sealed and delivered, but at the last minute something happened. It came unglued. No, I did not get the sale."
Now, if you think Mr. B. was upset before, you should have seen him now. He just hit the ceiling. He said, "This is really something. here we had a chance to get this big account. We desperately needed that money to expand our product line, and I've been depending on you as my sales manager. You've been here 15 years, and you have a chance to really make a mark, and what do you do, you blow it. Well, let me tell you something. Just because you've been heres 15 years does not mean that you've got a lifetime contract. Now, you're going to replace htat business or I'm going to replace you."
You're talking about upset, Mr. B. was furious. But if you think he was upset you should have seen the sales manager. He walked out of the room, slammed the door behind him, muttering under his breath, "This is really something. For 15 years, I've been running this company. If it had not been for me, we would have gone broke years and years ago. And here, just because I miss one sale, he uses a cheap lousy trick to threatening to fire me. This is not fair." Aw, he was upset.
Called his secretary in. He said, "You remember those five letters I gave you to get out this morning? Have you gotten them out or, are you going to give me some lousy excuse for not having them out?" And she said, "Well, no, don't you remember, you told me that the Hedrick account took precedence over everything else? That's what I've been working on." If you think the sales manager was upset before, you should have seen him now. He just hit the ceiling. He said, "You've been here eight years, and you apparently think you've got lifetime security. Well, I want to tell you something. You get those letters out, and if you don't get them out, I'll get me somebody who can." Aw, he was really upset.
But if you think he was upset, you should have seen that secretary. She goes storming out that room. She slams the door behind her. She said, "This is ridiculous. Eight years I've been here, just because I cannot do two things at once, all of a sudden he gets upset with me, threatening to fire me, and I'm the only one who knows what's going on aroung here. Hadn't been for me, this company would have gone under years and years ago. And as far as him firing me, as much as I know about him, who does he think he's kidding?!" Aw, she was upset.
She went out to the switchboard operator's desk. She said, "I've got five letters, I want you to get them out. Now, I know ordinarily this is not your job, but you don't do anything anyhow but sit around out here and occassionally answer the telephone. I want these letters out and I want them out today. And if you can't get them out today, let me know. I'll get somebody who can." Aw, she was upset.
But if you think she was upset, you should have seen the switchboard operator. She about hit the ceiling. "This is ridiculous. I'm the only one around here who does anything -- who understands what's going on. They don't do anything in the back but gossip, drink coffee, every once in a while do a little work. The minute they get behind they come out here. They put it on my desk and they say, "Now if you don't get it done, we're going to fire you." And I'm the only one that understands that operation. Hadn't been for me, the company would have gone uder years and years ago." Aw, she was upset. But she got the work out.
She got home, walked in the front door, slammed it behind her. First thing she saw was her 12 year old son lying there on the floor watching television. Second thing she saw was a great big rip right across his trouser leg. She said, "Son, how many times have I told you, when you come home from school, put your play clothes on. Mother has a hard enough time as it is supporting you and paying your expenses and getting you through school. I told you to do it before and because you have disobeyed me, you're going upstairs right now. There's going to be no dinner for you this evening, and there's going to be no television for the next three weeks." Aw, she was really upset.
But if you think she was upset, you should have seen that 12 year old boy. He hopped up running out of his room, muttering under his breath, "It was an accident. Could have happened to anybody. I was doing something for my own mother, she doesn't even give me a chance to explain." Aw, he was really upset and about that time his tom cat walked right in front of him, which was a mistake. The boy reaches down, he gives the tom cat a big old boot, and he said, "You get out of here. You probably up to some no good yourself."
Now, let me ask you a question. Wouldn't it have been so much better if Mr. B. had gone directly from his lunch to the switchboard operator's house and kicked that cat himself? He'd have left all of those other people out of the deal.
Have you ever had a magnificent day? You get home an hour and a half late, you walk in the front door, whistling and singing and call our for your mate, "Hi, Hon, how you doing?" And your mate screams back at you, "How come you're so late? If you'd been putting up with what I've been putting up with during this day you wouldn't be so enthusiastic and excited. Now tell me, where have you been?" Can you understand it's got nothing to do with you? Somebody's been kicking your mate's cat all day long.
Don't be a cat kicker. Think it through. What kind of an impact will this have not ony on the person I'm dealing with, will that individual go down the line kicking cats, and affect the productivity of everybody else.

The "Dream Employee" is completely dependable, totally honest, always on the job, completely willing to follow instructions, extremely brilliant and capable, very pleasent and agreeable, and more than willing to work for room and board on a lifetime contract. The performance of the "Dream Employee" depends on his treatment. If we are courteous and thoughtful, he will work long and hard. If we are rude and inconsiderate, he grows stubborn and grows stubborn and rebellious. Brag on him; tell him how bright he is and he will perform brilliantly. Call him lazy, stupid or irresponsible and he will rebel. Tell him you love and respect him and he will stay up all night solving your problems. Fuss at him and tell him you don't love his and he becomes so frusterated he can't give you the time of day.

See You At The Top - Self-Image - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-25T01:57:00.011-04:00

'See You At The Top' is the name of the book by Zig Ziglar.

As part of the Wipro Leader's Program training sessions that I attended for six months - it seemed the Wipro Training faculty had an obsession with Zig Ziglar - everyone would use his quotations and yes I would say 30% of the videos presented to us were Ziglars. Being a fan of country music and reading books on the civil war etc developed love for the heavy southern accent due to which hearing Zig Ziglar was all the more exciting (we were provided audio cassettes as giveaways during the sessions) apart from the excellent content. Ziglar would end his videos by saying 'See You At The Top'. Since than it was a TODO to read the book. And I got an oppurtunity to read brand new copy of the 25th Anniversary Edition adding to the excitment!

'See You At The Top' is a P.L.A. (positive life attitude) book. The power of positive belief converting into positive action by focusing on tridimensional (physical, mental, spiritual i.e. health, wealth and happiness) aspect of success relying on the foundation stones of honesty, character, faith, integrity, love and loyalty. Ziglar mentions about taking the Stairway to the Top (refer picture) and each of the step is an aspect that Ziglar goes deeper into in the book. For being successful, Ziglar emphasis on using the characteristics that we all already possess - character, faith, integrity, honesty, love and loyalty and take the steps leading to success. That is all that is needed for success - the person (us) - by using the abilities we have. As most of us use only 2-5% of our abilities. Ziglar calls those individuals who do not believe in themselves (and hence don't use their abilities fully) as theives - robbing themselves, their loved ones, society because of reduced productivity. The tragedy of loss of human resources is that the average person goes to the grave with his music still in him. A dime and $100 gold piece has the same value if they are corroding at the bottom of the occean until we use them for their intended use. Our value becomes real and marketable when we reach within ourselves and utilize the enormous potential that is ther within us. We are where we are because that's exactly where we wanted to be. Their is a chance that we have been give wrong directions in form of negativity in environment, experience. Always believe that "Man was designed for accomplishment, engineered for success and endowed with the seeds of greatness". Of all the gifts our creator gives us, surely the gift of choosing the way we wish to be is one of the greatest. The ability to visualize before we perform, provides the additional confidence to perform successfully.

The book is filled with references to numerous books, biblical verses, movies (all adding up in my TODO), quotations, examples and yes lots of humor. I have pasted below some of the interesting thoughts
* Why do the weathermen always say there is 20% chance of rain and not 80% sunshine?
* One can climb an oak tree in two ways, one can climb it or sit on an acorn!
* I've read women giving birth to boys and girls but never about giving birth to a salesman, doctor, lawyer etc However I do read salesmen, doctors, lawyers die. Since they are not born but do die - somewhere between birth and death - by choice - by training - they become what they wish to become! A woman never gives birth to a success or failure. People blame lack of education, parents, environment, skin, religious beliefs, too old, too young, fat, slim etc for their failures. Everytime the index finger is pointed at someone else the other three fingers are pointing at us. Everything starts with us including success and happiness.
* Darwin's theory of evolution, that man is not from god but is animalistic in origin - is a blow to our self esteem - thinking I came from a monkey doesn't makes anyone feel good!
* I don't go to church as there are so many hypocrites there is an excuse people provide for not going to church. They don't realize hypocrite is standing between them and God. The hypocrite in that case is more closer to God than they are. Hypocrites are everywhere so statying away from church for them doesn't helps.
* The Norwegian word for sell is selje which literally means "to serve"
* "You're always late", "You never do anything right" etc neither builds love nor confidence. Besides failure is an event - no a person - yesterday ended last night - today is a brand new day and it is ours!
* If we take what we have and use it - our talent will be increased - which brings more rewards etc
* Their is nothing like good or bad memory. Their is either trained or untrained
* Admire the skills of others but remember in most instances we could greatly improve our own skill by using the same amount of time and effort

The book begins with the "The End" - the end of life of Mediocrity! Today is the first day of the rest of our life! We are now engaged in the process of building a foundation for a greater future. Ziglar uses the "Count the Squares" in an empty square thought provoker. An in-depth look to the empty square helps us count the 30 squares in it i.e. an ind-depth look reveals considerably more than a casual glance. Ziglar says this is true about understanding ourselves, knowing our potential and our future. Ziglar promises to provide directions to help us achieve that.

When exposed to new material one time will remember only 2% of it two weeks later. If they are exposed to the same material on six consecutive days, they will remember 62% of it two weeks later. The more we are exposed to an idea - it is more likely that we will take action. So Ziglar encourages to review the important ideas in the book periodically.

The first page of the book has the quotation "I Believe - You can have everything in life you want, if you will just help enough other people what they want". I remember how thrilled I was with the simplicity with which this quotation was used to drive an important point by one of our business development manager - for all of us to be successful in the account, we have to help our client manager to be successful. Ziglar talks about this in terms of serving - if you serve more you earn more!

Self-Image is the First Step on the Stairway to the Top (refer picture)
The first step on the Stairway to the top is self-image. It is important to have love ourselves as if we cannot love ourselves where will we draw the love for anyone else - we can't give away something that we don't have. The Bible says "Love thy neighbour as thyself" . The most noticable manifestation of a poor self-image is the way a person reacts to criticism and the way he reacts to someone laughing at him/her.

The person with a healthy self-image moves into management very well. He exhibits a cautious confidence that shows he is qualified and will do the job. He is short on promises but long on fulfillement. He neither seeks nor avoids confrontations and meets decision making head-on. He understands that he was promoted because management has confidence in his ability to either handle the job or grow to the job. He knows where to draw the line between arrogance and confidence. He can be firm on principle but flexible on method. He understands that ideas don't ideas don't care who have them and is secure enough to give associates the credits for ideas. He draws a line between friendly and being familiar. He doesn't gets "all shook up" when he makes a wrong decision, because he knows in most cases the worst decision is no decision, so right or wrong he makes decisions. His self-image helps him to act decisively and yet not feel threatened when he is either mistaken, challenged or has to ask for help on specific matters.

I have used the "15 Steps to a Healthy Self-Image" that Ziglar talks about from the site below and have added other ideas that I found interesting in the book
http://www.gnorb.net/life/20060530/15-steps-to-a-healthy-self-image/

1. Take inventory of our worth - If we had a friend who lost his legs in an accident, but got $10M for it in a court settlement, would we trade places with him? Probably not, so count that as part of our worth. We would certainly like to have more money but not at the cost of our one of our assets, our health.
Also we have the capacity between our ears to store more information than can be stored in dozens of man's most sphisticated computers. It would cost billions if scientist were to attempt to create a human brain, it would be bulky in size and it would require lots of power to operate. Still it would not have the creative capability that God has blessed us with.
We are as precious to God as any of his other creatures - the difference between Rembrandt and us is - Rembrandt lifted his brush every day! God doesn't sponsors flops! We are somebody as God wouldn't spend time on creating a nobody!
Remember: Self worth has nothing to do with how much money you have.
2. Make sure our appearance is good - Keep ourself well groomed, hygienically sound, and looking sharp. The quickest, cheapest way to increase our self image: dress sharper. Go out and invest in a couple of good quality dress shirts, polos (double mercerized cotton is great), dress pants/slacks and shoes. Looking good automatically boosts our self image because, hey, if you dress the part, how much harder is it to play it?
When women walk out of a beauty salon, they "walk proud". Women will smile little more braodly, have a tendency to laugh more at little incidents and funnies and just seem to enjoy life more after the trip to a beauty salon. The performance of students is considerably better on "picture taking day" when the students "dress up". Every husband says his wife is happier, friendlier and more productive after she has got "dolled up" in a new outfit. Employers note that employees do better work, all other things being equal, when they are neatly or sharply dressed. Both men and women feel more confident when they know their appearance is good. Our appearence has direct bearing on the way we feel about ourselves and has a bearing on many facets of our lives, as it carries over in the way we deal with other people.
3. Read biographies and autobiographies of successful people - Read life stories of Henry Ford, Martin Luther King, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Edison etc
4. Listen to speakers, preachers, and teachers who build mankind - Listening to these people is incredibly educational, uplifting and rewarding. Here’s an example: ever listen to Joel Osteen? Like his theology or not, you have to admit that he’s a great motivator and uplifter of people. Same for people like Tony Robins.
5. Begin any goal with small, easy steps, then increase the difficulty - Success begets success. When you see yourself succeeding in little things, it makes it easier to go to the next level and begin succeeding there. Build a healthy self-image with a series of short steps. One reason many people never attempt new things is their fear of failure. If possible, start any new venture with a phase or portion you are confident you can handle, then transfer that initial accomplishment from one area of success to another. Building a healthy self-image needs to start in an area where we know we can succeed. Once success is accomplished there, we can move another step and another and another. Each step gives us added confidence and hence self-image improves and hence performance improves
6. Smile and complement others - When we smile at people and they smile back, we automatically feel better. Ditto for compliment. When we sincerely compliment a person or extend him a courtsey, he is going to receive a direct benefit and like himself better. It is impossible for us to make someone feel better and not feel better ourselves. One of the best ways to make anyone else feel better is to spread optimism and cheer. If we are not feeling very much spirited but act that way, we will soon feel spirited. If we are optimistic and cheerful, the chances are much stronger that we will lift the other person's spirit.
7. Do something for someone else wholeheartedly - Expect nothing in return, ask for nothing in reward, and accept nothing in return. When we volunteer or help someone - we realize that we are truly fortunate and do have lot to be thankful for, that, we can make a contribution and that we are. in fact, somebody. In short, we will stand tall in our own eyes.
8. Deliberately associate with uplifters and good-finders - We acquire much of the thinking, mannerisms and characteristics of the people around us. Even our IQ No one can long be positive associating with people who drag them down, so make an effort to find people who are positive and uplifting, people who go out of their way to find good in people. Clubs like the Toastmasters are a good way for anyone to start finding uplifters and good-finders in their area.
9. Remember all your good qualities - Make a list of all our positive qualities in a card. Ask friends to list the things they like about us. Carry that card and read it few times a day. Bragging about ourself to ourself helps to be confident in who we are, without being arrogant.
10. Make a list of all the past victories in your life - Again, success begets success. A lot of times we minimize what we’ve accomplished while maximizing what others have done. We compare our worst to their best. This list should include those things from childhood to present that gave us most satisfaction and confidence - which do not appear on the educational charts. As we periodically review this list, we will be reminded that we have succeeded in the past and we can do it again. This builds confidence, which builds image, which builds success, happiness etc.
11. Avoid adult programs, soap operas, and horoscopes - We can’t continually see man at his worst and feel good about ourself by watching adult programs. Similarly, it is a enormous waste of time and the "drug-like ability" to hook into tuning in tomorrow to see what happens, and it spells bad news with a capital BAD. Tomorrow the start of soap opera, and at least one of his or her buddies, will either be in trouble, headed for trouble, or just getting out of trouble. When we view life in this negative perspective over a long period of time, we identify with the situations which mostly parallel with our own and it goes on. The horoscope "hooks" us in similar fashion. We think it as harmless to read as we don't believe in it - eventually we will become fatalistic as a result of it - will not make decisions or take trips if the horoscope is not in tune.
12. Learn from successful failures - See how often successful people failed before they succeeded. The only difference between us and someone who’s succeeded in the long term is that they’ve probably failed a lot more than us. Edison, Lincoln, Einstein, Henry Ford, Walt Disney were failures before they eventually succeeded due to their persistence.
13. Join an organization with worthwhile goals that encourages public speaking - One of the best, quickest, and most efficient ways to improve your self image and performance is to join an organization that has worthwhile goals and encourages public speaking.
14. Look at people in the eyes when you talk to them - This is surprisingly one of the hardest things to do. When we look at people in the eye, they can see how honest we are and how proud we are of doing whatever it is you’re doing. Some people with low self-image feel "unworthy" and "are not good enough" to look directly into the eyes of another. To overcome the feeling, we can practice - looking ourselves in the eye - in front of the mirror. Set aside a few moments each day for this exercise. Repeat some positive affirmations (Step#9 and #10) of what we have accomplished., positive things that other people have said to us. The second phase involves eye-contact with children. The third phase is peer group and associates, as well as those who might work at lesser positions. This will give us enough confidence to look in the eye of everybody we meet.
15. Earnestly and honestly work towards being physically fit - It’s no secret that people who are physically fit, or are working towards that goal, have more stamina, are happier, and exude more confidence than those who are not fit and are not working towards that kind of goal. We may not be fit and may not be working towards that type of goal, but still be positive. Imagine how much more so will we be when you combine your naturally good disposition with the psychological and biological advantages offered by good health?

Edit: In retrospect, I (the author of gnorb.net) should have probably added a 16th step: Work. Whenever someone does something for us which we can do for ourself, our self esteem goes down a bit. Make a habit of having people do things for us which we can do for ourself and our self image will go down the drain. (Ever go to a welfare line and try to look at the eyes of people there? Most of the time, sadly, the thing we see the least of in their eyes is pride: most of them have attrociously low self images, and we will never earn more than our self image dictates we should.) Likewise, when someone gives us something which we can earn for ourself (gifts are an exception most of the time), they are inadvertantly denying us the chance to earn it. All of us, to a certain extent, tie the work we do and the things we accomplish to our self image, so a quick way to raise your self esteem is to work for what we want.

It is beyond a doubt that most problems, whether they are economic, social or martial are not really problems but rather symptoms of problems. Deugs, alcholism, pornography, homesexuality, obesity are symptoms of deeper difficulties. Many other fads are also symptoms of real problems, particularly when it's obvious the fads are related to people doing "their thing" in defiance of parents or the so-called "society". Once we accept ourselves for our true worth, then the symptoms of vulgarility, slopiness etc disappears.

The Swedish Government promises every individual that he will be "taken care of" from birth to death. To the casual observer, Swedes would be happiest people in existence because of such magnificient arrangement. On the contrary, Sweden has the fastest growing drug problem, high rate of divorce, highest rate of suicide among retired - which indicates the difference in self image - building our own security as opposed to having someone else take care of us.

80% of workers go reluctantly to work. This lose of pride in work brings performance down and quality of work declines. This explains the need for Foriegn imports and the domestic sales volumes goes down - this is price we pay for low self-esteem.

Think like a champion, Act like a champion, See ourselves as a champion and perform like a champion.

Some interesting ideas
* What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny compared to what lies within us - Ralph Waldo Emerson
* You are the only one who can use your ability. Its an awesome responsibility - Ralph Waldo Emerson
* I hear and forget. I see and hear and I remember. However when I see, hear and do, I understand and succeed - Anonymous
* The price of success is much lower than the price of failure
* The person who won't read is no better that the person who can't read
* Success is not a destination. It is a journey, it's the direction in which you are travelling
* Education and intelligence are not the same thing.
* No one on the face of the earth can make you feel inferior without your permission
* The most destitute person in the world is the one without a smile
* No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of anyone else
* It is not who's right that is important - its what's right
* The person who won't stand for something will fall for anything
* We don't drown by falling into water, we get drowned if we stay there
* We are not beaten by being knocked down. We are only beaten if we stay down.
* Work gives us more than our living - it gives us our life

Building Trust - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-22T10:27:00.009-04:00

During my experience in working for corporates, I found the one thing that could have helped the most was a trustful environment. The energy sapping acitivites that we engage in, due to lack of trust, especially at a time when we are required to do more with less, makes the time spent in consciously building trust so much worthwhile. I would push it to the extent of including it in the organization's mission statement and having policies and procedures aligned with it e.g. 360 degree feedbacks to include examples of trust building acitivities implemented

I came accross an interesting article relating to "Building Trust" at
http://www.pickthebrain.com/blog/twelve-keys-for-building-trust/ which I have used for discussion in this post.

The foundation of any relationship, whether it be with a business associate, spouse, parent, client or, friend, is trust. Trust is not something that can be built with quick fix techniques. Rather, it is something that is cultivated through consistent habits in our interactions. The following are twelve patterns of behavior that increase trust in our relationships.

1. Be transparent - Do not try to hide things from others. Refuse to have any hidden agendas. We might think we can pull a fast one on someone else. We can’t. Most people have good intuition and even though they may not be able to consciously determine that we are hiding something, they very likely will have an uneasy feeling around us. If they don`t feel comfortable around us, they won`t be able to trust us.
Another sinister aspect of having hidden agenda is that it erodes our ability to trust others. We will assume that if we aren’t fully forthcoming, other people aren’t either. When we are trustworthy, however, we will see others as more trustworthy too.
In my experience, being transparent in a Manager-Employee relationship takes lot of courage for meeting the consequences (emotional and reputational hurt apart from additional issues being created) of being transparent. Even though we are transparent, prior experiences and organization culture, makes it difficult for people to accept it and they continue to engage in untrustful actions. Me and Feroz would debate a lot on being transparent, every time I would go thru a difficult situation, due to someone indulging in an untrustful action. I am all for transparency - experience makes you stronger - to face the consequences and not give up on the trust building process!

2. Be sincere - This is similar to the previous point. Only say what we mean. Be impeccably honest with our words. Refuse to try and craft our words to manipulate others. Don`t give fake compliments, patronize others or say something just because we think we are supposed to. Again, people have good BS detectors. When others know that we only speak genuinely, it increases their capacity to trust us. Everyone loves authenticity.
In my experience, in an Manager-Employee relationship, as mentioned earlier, prior experiences and organization culture blinds people to our attempts and it could be a fursterating experience when your attempts to build trust don't go anywhere. Staying at it and not being affected by some failures is the key to building life-time relationships!

3. Focus on adding value - In any relationship, always have the best interest of others at heart. Work hard to give as much or more than we get. When we consistently add value to someone`s life, they not only feel like we are on their side, they also have the urge to reciprocate. In business relationships, this means always under-promise and over-deliver. In personal relationships, focusing on meeting the needs of the other person instead of taking in order to get our own needs met.
In my experience, in an Manager-Employee relationship, apart from "adding value", it is also important that 'we are on their side' feeling be implicitly created, by communicating the value that the relationship has been providing as "value add". Since "value add" is sometimes taken for granted especially in an environment of "peer pressure" where we are more focussed on comapring the "value add" that the manager has been providing to peers.

4. Be present - The last thing anyone wants is to have a conversation with someone who isn’t there. Instead of retreating into your head, focus on listening to others. Whenever you are with someone, make them your primary focus. Don’t think about work while we are at home talking to our spouse. Don’t think about life at home when we are with a client. When it comes to relationships, presence means quality time and quality time builds trust.
In my experience, in an Manager-Employee relationship, a big investment in communication (emphasis on listening) is the most important thing. Looking back at those instances where trust was not shared, I feel spending more time in communicating would have helped to improve the trust in the relationships. An improvement area for me!

5. Always treat people with respect - Ever since we were little kids, we have been taught to be respectful. However, when our standards get violated or there is no one around to see (read: we don`t think there will be any consequences), we can often engage in petty behavior. This encompasses a wide range of actions from personal attacks during arguments to gossiping behind someone’s back. Always remember that another person’s inherent worth as a human being entitles them to be treated with dignity. When people know that you will always treat with them respect, it is very natural for trust to flourish.
In my experience, in an Manager-Employee relationship, this is important and additionally important (read Item#9 "Set Boundaries" below) is to make sure you are treated with respect too and not taken for granted. Feroz would caution me on this aspect based on the few interactions with my team members that he was part of.

6. Take responsibility - When we mess up, which we invariably will, be quick to clean it up. Skip the excuses and just take responsibility. Justifying and making excuses may help us in the short term but in the long run, it does nothing for our character or the level of trust we are given. Accountability is a rare trait these days with most people wanting to avoid negative consequences at all costs. Dare to be different and we will win the trust of others.
In my experience, in an Manager-Employee relationship, taking responsibility for glitches done by the team is an expectation. I believe it is important that we talk about such behaviour too as part of "value add" to the relationship. In my experience all these actions on my part were never considered as "value add" by the team.

7. Focus on feedback - Unless we`re mind readers, the only way we can know how well a relationship is going is by getting feedback from the other person. Be not only willing to accept feedback – actively seek it out. Many people are afraid to give us feedback, especially if its negative, out of fear that they will offend. Ask with sincerity and respond respectfully and others will be far more willing. Take both the positive and negative into account along with our own judgment and adjust our behaviour accordingly.
In my experience, creating an organizational culture of providing frank personal feedback is important. Tools soliciting feedback need to encourage for specific examples which makes the person revisit the situation as they write about it rather than simply checking-on a box.

8. Take criticism well - Learn to handle criticism with grace. Instead of getting defensive, consider the possibility that what the other person is saying might be true. Closing yourself off from criticism has the effect of closing off all communication. In some cases, the criticism may indeed be inaccurate. In these instances, you have the opportunity to show empathy. Try to understand the problem from the other person’s point of view. Perhaps the criticism is just a thinly veiled attack that stems from a deeper upset they may have with us. In these cases, our willingness to dig deeper without getting defensive will certainly enhance the trust in the relationship.
For a leader, this is important. In my experience, due to lack of trust, people don't provide direct feedback. Regular feedback is important and I believe spending time on frequent one-on-one communication will probably help us 'hear' the feedback. Once again, I wish I had spent more time in on-eon-one communication to 'hear' the feedback.

9. Set boundaries - Be clear about how we expect people to behave around us. Again, do this in a mature manner: be sincere and respectful. When we have clear standards, people know exactly how to behave around us and that gives them certainty. The strength that we communicate by setting boundaries builds trust – when someone knows that they can`t take advantage of us that alleviates the fear that someone else will.
Important! I already talked about this in Item#5 - "Always treat people with respect"

10. Be a class act - Hold ourself to a higher a standard. Be quick to apologize when we know we are wrong. Only speak well of others, even those who don`t speak well of us. Why should we do this? First, imagine what it would do to our sense of self to know that other people only have good experiences with us. Second, imagine how much trust such behaviour engenders in others. Finally, imagine the example we set for others – the conduct of others will improve just by being around us consistently.
Important in building relationships. I would consider this as an important aspect in the evaluation of a manager. The only reason I keep mentioning about these attributes being part of a formal feedback for a manager is - we otherwise are blinded with the organizational culture and lack of training to notice i.e. one becomes blinded to these important aspects that the manager is demonstrating. I believe having to write down an example for a feedback always makes me think about actions taken for granted.

11. Our word is our bond - Keep all the promises we make and ensure that we make promises only sparingly. Make our word stronger than any written contract. Refuse to make empty promises and manipulate people. When a promise we have made is no longer beneficial to us, instead of deciding to not follow through, attempt to renegotiate the deal. When we renegotiate the agreement, ensure that the new commitment provides even more value to the other person.
I think this is Item#3 "Focus on adding value" and Item#10 "Be a class act" working together at all times.

12. Be consistent - Above all, be consistent in our behavior. Don’t engage in the behavior once in a while when it seems convenient. Our consistency is the key to your trustworthiness. Small actions add up and a track record of high character is invaluable in any relationship. Become intensely principle-centered and trust will follow easily and consistently.
It needs courage to not get frusterated - when efforts to build trust are washed out turns - and continue focussing on our endeavors. I think this is the most important of all the items mentioned above. I regret losing some relationships due to the emotional and reputational hurt and not investing in mending them.

The Magic of Thinking Big - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-19T18:13:00.023-04:00

The Magic of Thinking Big is a 50+ yr old bestseller by David Schwartz about being sucessful using the magic of thinking - the power of belief, attitude and action! It is funny to read the examples of $1000 salary or a handsome salary of $35,000 - one need to keep the perspective of this while reading the 50+ year old book.

David introduces by saying sucess is not determined by the size of one's brain as it is by the size of one's thinking. The size of bank accounts, size of happiness accounts, size of one general satisfaction account is dependent on size of one's thinking.

David talks about study human behaviour to know the rules of success using the fully equipped laboratory of human beings that is around us to study human action. The laboratory provides us with every possible example of human action. We need to observe and experiment - to know more about sucessful people, to know why people act as they do. To get insight into human action by asking questions as Why is XX so sucessful? Why is YY just mediocre? etc

David talks about "walk-watch", watching people walk, to know what is going on in their mind are they troubled, are they happy - one way to use the laboratory that we have at our disposal. I always thought Feroz did this to entertain me. He would try to build up stories on what is going on with the person.

One of the things that David mentions is that confidence determines how we fight our fears. Memory management is the most important thing for building confidence - depositing and withdrawing positive thoughts is the key to confidence. He talks about recalling pleasent experiences to boost confidence (refer post "Mastering your mind" on how this can be used to manage difficult situations). Feroz doesn't listens to news, songs, chat shows etc in the morning to ensure his postive rhythm is not disturbed.

With Feroz, I have learnt the importance of setting a high standard for others to follow. I helped Feroz with the logistics during one of the 'Interviewing Skills' session he conducted. During the session, Feroz tried to capture students responses to most of the aspects mentioned in the book, as part of the interview questions. Stressing students with questions during the interview to check how strong their beliefs were. He played back the video in the class - for the students to know what the interviewer is trying to know about the applicant and what would be the best response and yes importance of appearence!

I have used the review of the book at the site below and added some the ideas that I found interesting in the book
http://www.lifetrainingonline.com/blog/the-magic-of-thinking-big-part-i.htm

Believe You Can Succeed and You Will
Belief and wishful thinking are quite different. Wishful thinking will never spur you to action and as a result, your wishful thought will forever remain a wish. Belief works this way. Belief, the "I'm-positive-I-can" attitude generates the power, skill and energy needed to achieve results. When we truly believe we can do it, the HOW TO DO IT will reveal itself.

Without firm, unwavering belief that man can travel in space, our scientists would not have had the courage, interest and enthusiasm to proceed. Belief in great results is the driving force behind all great discoveries. Belief in success is the one basic, absolutely essential ingredient in successful people.

Disbelif is the -ve power. When the mind disbelieves or doubts, the mind attracts "reasons" to support the disbelief. Doubt, disbelief, the subconcious will to fail, the not really wanting to succeed, is responsible for most failures.

The size of our success is determined by the size of our belief. We can also consider belief to be the thermostat that regulates our accomplishments in life. If we take a look at one who is struggling in mediocrity, he believes he is worth little so as result, he receives little. Contrast this with the person who is advancing in life. They really belief they’re worth a lot, and again as a result they receive a lot.

A person is a product of his own thoughts. Believe Big. Let us adjust our thermostat forward. Let us launch our success offensive with honest, sincere belief that we can suceed. Believe big and grow big.

We know that our mind is a "thought factory", producing countless thoughts in a day. Production in our thought factory is under the charge of two foremen Mr Triumph and Mr Defeat. Mr Triumph is in charge of manufacturing postive thought. He specializes in producing reasons why we can, why we will etc The other foremen, Mr Defeat, produces negative, deprecating thoughts. He is our expert in developing reasons why we can't, why we are inadequate. His speciality is why-we-will-fail thoughts. They both are obedient and snap to attention immediately when required. The more work we give either of these foremen, the stronger they become. Eventually taking the entire thought-manufacturing process. To have strong belief, we need to ignore Mr.Defeat (refe "Taming the Gremlin" post) and strengthen Mr. Triumph.

As Tony Robbins says, Belief is to have faith when nothing in the our environment is supporting us. Generating the feeling of certainity. Operating with Strong Belief, is to operate from faith instead of fear. Belief is about creating certainity in face of fear. When we operate out-of-fear, we constantly focus on worst that could happen. We anticipate in advance and thereby avoid participating. The greatest way in the world not to achieve anything is to not to take the first step. Belief, is to have courage to put ourselves on the line by having faith - faith is the ultimate power.

While recruting, companies often look for candidate who aspires leadership for himself and his company - a determination to undertake a personal program of self development.

Cure Yourself of Exusitus, the Failure Disease
The distinguishing difference between a person who is going places and the individual who is barely getting by is the latter person’s habit of excuses. The more successful the individual, the less inclined he is to make excuses. But the fellow who has gone nowhere and has no plans for getting anywhere always has a boxful of reasons to explain why. Persons with mediocre accomplishments are quick to explain why they haven't, why they don't, why they can't, and why they aren't.
Much like any other disease, this disease of ‘excusitis’, as the author calls it, will get worse if not treated properly.

The problem is, once you’ve selected for yourself a ‘good’ excuse, you end up sticking to it. You then end up using that excuse to explain to yourself and others why you’re not making progress in that area of life; And each time you use that excuse, the more it gets ingrained into your subconscious and the more you begin to believe it is true.

Successful people on the other hand learn how to vaccinate themselves against excusitis instead fertilizing their minds with the seeds of confidence and achievement - making the most of the resources available with them as "the right attitude and one arm will beat the wrong attitude and two arms every time" and being grateful for having the available resources.

Poor health? Lack of education? Too old? Too young? Bad luck? Personal misfortune? he way my family brought me up? are some of the common excuses used by mediocre people. The four most common of this disease are healthy excusitis, intelligence excusitis, age excusitis and luck excusitis.

http://www.seniorsnetwork.co.uk/positivethinking2/excusitis.htm
1."But My Health Isn't Good." - Health excusitis is used as an excuse for failing to do what a person wants to do, failing to accept greater responsibilities, failing to make more money, failing to achieve success. Remind yourself often, "It's better to wear out than rust out."

2."But you've got to have brains to succeed." - Intelligence excusitis or "I lack brains" is common. Unlike most other types of excusitis, people suffering from this particular type of the malady suffer in silence. Not many people will admit openly that they think they lack adequate intelligence. Rather, they feel it deep down inside. Most of us make two basic errors with respect to intelligence: We under estimate our own brain power, and We overestimate the other fellow's brainpower. Because of these errors many people sell themselves short. They fail to tackle challenging situation because it "takes brains". What really matters is not how much intelligence we have but how we use what we do have. The thinking that guides your intelligence is much more important than the quantity of your brain power. Interest, enthusiasm, is the critical factor. With a positive, optimistic, and cooperative attitude a person with an IQ of 100 will earn more money, win more respect, and achieve more success than a negative, pessimistic, uncooperative individual with an IQ of 120. Just enough sense to stick with something-a chore, task, project-until it's completed, pays off much better than idle intelligence, even if idle intelligence be of genius calibre. Stickability is 95% of ability. Negative Thinking is the reason for some brilliant people's failures.
He has a very mediocre job (he's afraid of responsibility).
He has never married (lots of marriages end in divorce).
He has few friends (people bore him).
He's never invested in property of kind (he might lose his money).
These men use their great brainpower to prove why things won't work rather than directing his mental power to searching for ways to succeed. We can't do much to change the amount of negative ability, but we can certainly change the way we use what we have. Knowledge is power- when you use it constructively.
Closely allied to intelligence excusitis is some incorrect thinking about knowledge. We often hear that knowledge is power. But this statement is only a half-truth. Knowledge is only potential power. Knowledge is power only when we put to use - and then only when the use made of it is constructive.
The story is told that the great scientist Einstein was once asked how many feet are in a mile. Einstein's reply was, " I don't know. Why should I fill my brain with facts I can find in two minutes in any standard reference book?"
It is more important to use our mind to think than to use it as a warehouse for facts. The ability to know how to get information is more important than using the mind as a garage of facts. When questioned Henry Ford responded, I don't know the answer to the question but can find a man in five minutes who can do that. The idea is to use the best available resources rather than making yourself a factman. What we want around are people who can solve problems, who can think up ideas. People who can dream and then develop the dream into a practical application; an idea man can make money, a fact man can't.
Never underestimate our own intelligence and never overestimate the intelligence of others. It's not how many brains we've got that matters, rather it's how we use your brains that counts. Reminding several times daily: "My attitudes are more important than my intelligence." using our brain to find ways to win. Remembering that ability to think is of much greater value than the ability to memorize facts. Using our mind to create and develop ideas to find new and better ways to do things. Asking, "Am I using my mental ability to make history or am I using it merely to record history made by others."

3."It's No Use I'm too old (or too young)." - Age excusitis, the failure disease of never being the right age comes in two easily identifiable forms: the " I'm too old" variety and the "I'm too young" brand. How old we are is not important, it's one's attitude toward age that makes it a blessing or a barricade. For too young, don't be age conscious, don't take advantage of new gold bars, get used to having older persons working for us. What matters really is how well we know our job. Age has no real relation to ability, unless we convince yourself that years alone will give us the stuff we need to make your mark. The cure for age excusitis is to look at our present age positively. Think "I'm still young," not "I'm already old." Compute how much productive time we have left. Life is actually longer than most people think. Invest future time in doing what we really want to do. Start thinking, " I'm going to start now, my best years are ahead of me." That's the way successful people think.

4. "But my case is different: I attract bad luck." - Luck excusitis - If luck determined who does what and who goes where, every business in the nation would fall apart. People who rise to the top in any occupation- business, management, selling, law, engineering, acting or what have you- get there because they have superior attitudes and use their good sense in applied hard work. Accept the law of cause of effect. Take a second look at what appears to be someone's " good luck." we'll find not luck but preparation, planning and success-producing thinking preceded his good fortune. Take a second look at what appears to be someone's " bad luck." we'll discover certain specific reasons. Mr. Success receives a set back; he learns and profits. But when Mr. Mediocre loses, he fails to learn. Don't be a wishful thinker. We don't become successful simply through luck. Don't count on luck for promotions, victories, the good things in life. Luck simply isn't designed to deliver these good things.

Build Confidence and Destroy Fear
Other than excuses, fear is another very real hindrance to success. It keeps you from capitalizing on opportunity; it wears you down physically, it also closes your mouth when you want to speak. Fear can even cause you to become sick. Fear — manifested in uncertainty and lack of confidence — explains why millions of people accomplish little and enjoy little. In one way or another fear keeps people from getting what they want in life.

So is there an antidote for fear? Absolutely. The cure is found in action. If indecision and postponement further breed fear, then taking action will kill it off. To conquer fear: Isolate fear. This is where we determine exactly what it is that we are afraid of. Take action. Every type of fear has some type of action which will counter-act it. When deciding what course of action to take, do not hesitate. Hesitation only magnifies the fear. Be decisive and act immediately.

self-conciousness can be a reason for fear at times. It is important for us to put people in proper perspective to get over self-conciousness.
- Get a balanced view of the other fellow - The other fellow is important as every human being is. We are important too. Think, we are two important people sitting down to discuss something of mutual interest and benefit.
- Develop an understanding attitude to the adult bully. Try to think, the adult bully is having some bigger problems and his behaviour towards us is the otcome of that big problem he is struggling with - making him feel inferior - and he is using us to get over it.
- Doing what's right keeps our confidence satisfied. As the guilt pulls down our confidence.

Being confident is another way of banishing fear. Confidence is not something that people are born with, it is developed; And developing it requires a little effort on our part. Much lack of self-confidence can be traced directly to mis-managed memory. Everyday we make thought deposits in our "mind bank". When we settle down to face a problem, ineffect we say to the memory bank, "what do I already know about the problem?". Based on our prior experience our memory bank provides info. If we have a repository of failures deposited as -ve thoughts rather than "learnings from an experience which didn't give us the results we were looking for but some other results for us to work on further" - failure is what the memory is going to provide us a response to us. This is like, if we put dirt in the car crank case every day, the fine engine will surely be messed up - unable to do what we want it to do. -ve thoughts create worry, frusteration, feelings of inferiority.

Before going to bed, recall the good things we saw people do, recall the little victories and accomplishments, count your blessings, go over the reasons why we are
glad to be alive - these will be the positive deposits. When driving or alone recall pleasent experiences, positive thougts - these will be the positive deposits too.

The best way to build confidence is the “fake it ’till you make it” approach. In other words, to think confidently, act confidently. Schwartz quotes the great psychologist, Dr. George W. Crane who said, “Remember, motions are the precursors of emotions. You can’t control the latter directly but only through your choice of motions or actions…Go through the proper motions each day and you’ll soon begin to feel the corresponding emotions!” This example can best be seen with smiling. It’s hard to feel sad if you try to smile as hard as you can. (Go ahead try it ;)) The same holds true with confidence. It’s hard to be shy and uneasy if you’re body is telling you you’re confident. Aren't these thoughts that Tony Robbins talks about in Changing State - to use physical changes to change our mental state.

Some physiological changes boost confidence
- Be a front seater
- Make eye contact
- Walk 25% faster - Throw shoulders back, lift head
- Speak up
- Smile big

How to Think Big
Schwartz explains how big we think ultimately determines the size of our accomplishments. But how can we enlarge our thinking? How do we think big? Maybe by looking at the traits of some big thinkers, we can figure out just how one can expand their thinking
- Big thinkers are really good at crafting positive, forward-looking, optimistic pictures in their own minds and in the minds of others. The words they choose are reflective of this and help others to envision a positive outcome.
"I'm sorry to report we've failed" to "Here's a new approach that I think will work"
"We face a problem" to "We face a challenge"
"We incurred a big expense" to "We made a big investment"
Using big, positive, cheerful words and phrases to describe how we feel ("Just Wonderful!"), to decribe other people, compliment people, to outline plans etc
- Big thinkers have trained themselves to not only see what is in their current reality but to see what could become their reality. Look at things not as they are, but as they can be. Visualization adds value to everything. A big thinker always visualizes what can be done in future. He isn't stuck with the present. The teacher who only thinks of Jimmy as he is - an ill-mannered, backward, uncouth brat - certainly will not aid Jimmy's development. But the teacher who sees Jimmy not as he is but as he can be, she'll get results. Asking questions like "What can I do to 'add value' to my work, home etc", "What can I do to 'add value' to my subordinates?", "What can I do make myself more valuable?"
- Big thinkers see themselves as part of a team. Success does not come alone but by working with others. They help in every way they can, even when there is no direct and immediate compensation. The fellow who shrugs off a problem outside his own department with a comment "Well, that none of my concern, let them worry it", hasn't got the attitude it takes for top leadership. Seeing the company interest as identical with our own. Probably only a very few people working in large companies have a sincere, unselfish interest in the company. But after all, only a relatively few persons qualify as big thinkers.
- Big thinkers do not get bogged down by trivial details or small failings. They learn to keep moving forward, keeping their eyes on the overall objective.
What causes quarells - Little, petty thinking causes arguments so let us eliminate petty thinking. Before complaning, accusing, reprimanding, counter attack in self defense, ask "Is it really important enough for me to get all worked up about". This question works like magic! Keep focus on the big objective while working with employees, marriage, neighbours
What does it to make a good speech - Knowledge of what we are going to talk abiut and an intense desire to tell it to other people as well as a burning desire for other people to hear it. Not letting your mind go over trivial thoughts about standing position, arm position, grammatical mistake but focus over the important task of delivering the speech. Don't fall in the triviality trap while making speeches, solving problems, think of things that really matter - things that make a difference. Don't become submerged under surface issues. Concentrate on important things.
- Big thinkers don't Short Sell - One of the biggest weakness is to sell ourselves short! We are truly bigger than we think! A assessment of our strengths and weaknesses with those we consider sucessful/failure will help us to know how truly big we are and this will be reflected in everything that we do.

How to Think and Dream Creatively
Creative thinking is nothing other than finding new and improved ways to do something. Success in any endeavor is dependent upon using creative thinking to discover these improved ways; And as with confidence, it can be learned.
Schwartz offers six steps to develop and strengthen our creative thinking ability:
Step 1: Believe it can be done. This is pretty self-explanatory. In order for us to do anything, we first must believe it can be done. Once we have that belief, it sets the mind in motion to find ways to accomplish it and paves the way for creative solutions. Belief releases creative powers. Disbelief puts the brakes on them. Eliminate the word "impossible" from vocabulary to help develop creative power through belief. "Man belongs where man wants to go"
Step 2: Don’t get paralyzed by tradition. Too many of us think that something cannot change because that’s the way it always has been and always will be. Instead, experiment. Be open to new ideas. Try out new ways of doing the same thing. Be progressive in all that we do. "Nothing grows on ice. If we let tradition freeze our minds, new ideas can't sprout" Be an experimental person. Break up fixed routines. Do something new - develop interest in distribution if in manufacturing
Step 3: Ask yourself daily, “How can I do better?” Self-improvement in all areas of life come when we ask ourselves this question and take the time to listen to what our mind presents to us. Absolute perfection in all human undertakings from building missiles to rearing children is unattainable. This means there is always room for improvement. Successful people know this and they are always searching for better way. . The successful person doesn't asks "Can I do it better?" they ask "How can I do it better?". Try to implement a weekly improvement program. All during the week make notes about ideas to improve at work, home. Every monday, set aside hours to review and prioritize ideas to be implemented". Each day in the mornings ask Qs "How can I do a better job today?", "What can I do to encourage my employees?", "How can I increase my personal efficiency?", "What can I do to improve my relationships at work, home?".
Step 4: Ask yourself, “How can I do more?” Asking this type of question forces the mind to figure out ways to find intelligent short-cuts. Capacity is a state of mind. How much we can do depends on how much we think we can do. When we really think we can do more, our mind thinks creatively and shows us the way.
Step 5: Practice asking and listening. Take advantage of leveraging others’ knowledge. Encorage others to talk. Test your own views. Listen to other's views. Successful people make profit by exposing ideas to other intelligent people.
Step 6: Associate and surround yourself with people who can help you to think of new ideas and new ways of doing things. Be part of professional group that provides stimulation in your own occupational area. Joining a group outside occupational interests helps to broaden thinking. A oak tree produces enough acorns to populate a good sized forest; yet only one or two acorns become trees the rest don't survive the hard ground, squirrels. The same is true with ideas if we are not on gaurd, the -ve thinking people(squirrels) will destroy them. Ideas require special handling from the time they are born till implemented.

You Are What You Think You Are
If you look around you, you might observe that some people command confidence, loyalty and admiration while others do not. If you look closer, the most respect are also the most successful. Why is that? Well, according to Schwartz, it can be distilled into one word: thinking. Thinking makes it so. Others see in us what we see in ourselves and we receive what we think we deserve.

If you think you are less than someone else, you are. For thinking dictates action. If you feel inferior, you’ll act that way and no amount of bluffing will be able to hide it for long. If you feel you’re not important, you’re not. It’s as simple as that.

On the other hand, when you think you are important, when you really think so; then others will think so too. It really comes down to this: “How you think determines how you act. How you act in turn determines: How others react to you.”

To gain respect of others, we must first think we deserve respect. And the more respect we have for ourselves, the more respect others will have for us.

Look important - it helps you think important . Our appearence talks and ensure it says positive things about you. Never leave home without feeling certain you look like the kind of person you want to be. Use clothing to lift your spirits build confidence. A psychology professor gave advice to students on last minute preps for final examination. "Dress up for the exam. Have your dress pressed. Shine your shoes. Look sharp becuase it will help you think sharp." Our physical exterior affects our mental interior. How you look on the outside affects how you think anf feel on the inside. An executive feels more like an executive if he is dressed like one. Our appearence talks to us and also to others. It helps determine what others think of us. In theory, it's pleasent to hear that people should look at man's intellect, not his clothes. People do evaluate on the basis of appearence. Our appearence is the first basis for evaluation other people have. And first impressions last, out of all proportion to the time it takes to form them. We look at some people and respond with "Hey Mac" and respond with "Yes Sir" attitude.

Think your job is important Job thinking tells a lot about a person and his potential for larger responsibility. How impotant a applicant thinks his present job is - even though there would be something that he doesn't likes - becomes an important considereation while recruitment as the applicant will take the pride to the next job too. Like appearence, the way we think about our work says things about us to superioirs, associates, sub-ordinates - infact everyone with whom you come in contact. Think, I am important. I do have what it takes. I am a first class performer. My work is important. Think about ways to make business better and progress faster - expect to be given a chance to present and implement ideas. A person who thinks his job is important, receives mental signals on how to do his job better. And a better job means more promotions, money, prestige and happiness. The way we think about our job determines how our subordiantes think towards their jobs. Think enthusiastically and show positive attitude, your sub-ordinates will pick-up the right thinking. Ask "Am I worthy in every respect of being imitated?" "Are all my habbits that I would like to see in my subordinates?".

Practice uplifting self-praise rather than belittling self-punishment. Build your own "sell yourself on yourself" commercial.
www.professorprosperity.com/2008/07/how_to_write_personal_aspiration_statments/
Tom Staley, meet Tom Staley - an important, a really important person.
Tom, you’re a big thinker, so thing big.
Think big about Everything.
You’ve got plenty of ability to do a first-class job, so do a first-class job.
Tom you believe in Happiness, Progress, and Prosperity.
So: talk only Happiness, talk only progress, talk only prosperity.
You have lots of drive, Tom, lots of drive.
So put that drive to work. Nothing can stop you, Tom, nothing.
Tom, you’re enthusiastic. Let you enthusiasm show through.
You look good, Tom, and you feel good. Stay that way.
Tom Staley, you were a great fellow yesterday, and you’re going to be an even greater fellow today. Now go to it, Tom. Go forward.”
Practice commercial loud in private at least once a day. It helps a lot to do this before a mirror. Repeat commercial forcefully with determination. Make blood travel faster through body. Get warmed up. Read it before tackling anything that demands courage. Read it every time you fell let-down.

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In all of life's situations ask yourelf, "Is this the way an important person thinks?" Then obey the answer.
1) Situation - When I worry
Ask Yourself - Would an important person worry about this? Would the most successful person I know be disturbed by this?
2) Situation - An idea
Ask Yourself - What would an important person do if he had this idea?
3) Situation - My appearance
Ask Yourself - Do I look like someone who has maximum self-respect?
4) Situation - My Language
Ask Yourself - Am I using the language of successful people?
5) Situation - What I read
Ask Yourself - Would an important person read this?
6) Situation - Conversation
Ask Yourself - Is this something succesful people would discuss?
7) Situation - When I lose my temper
Ask Yourself - Would an important person get mad at what I'm mad at?
8) Situation - My jokes
Ask Yourself - Is this the kind of joke an important person would tell?
9) Situation - My job or business
Ask Yourself - How does an important person descrive his job to others?

Manage Your Environment: Go First Class
Just as what we eat is reflected in the state of our bodies, what food we choose to feed our minds has just as powerful an effect on our thoughts, habits, attitudes, and personality. The food for our minds that Schwartz is referring to here is our environment.

It’s hard to deny it. Our environment shapes us, and makes us think the way we do. For example, prolonged exposure and association to negative people makes us in turn think negatively. Associating ourselves with people who think big will raise our level of thinking. Our success is largely dependent upon what and who we choose to surround ourselves with.

So when choosing friends, select those who are interested in positive things; friends who really want to see you succeed and willingly encourage you in your plans and ideals. Find those who have common goals and desires, having a support system makes all the difference when your own motivation is in the slumps. Find friends who breathe encourgaement into plans and ideals. If we select petty thinkers as your close friends, we 'll gradually develop into petty thinkers ourselves.

Make Your Attitudes Your Allies
Communication is a lot more than just the words we choose to speak. Someone may say one thing but you know that they mean something entirely different. This is what Schwartz means by ‘attitude.’ To understand someone’s attitude, we don’t listen for the words but instead discover it through expressions, voice tones and inflections. When our attitude is right, our abilities reach a maximum of effectiveness and good results inevitably follow. Need to make the following three attitudes allies in everything we do:
The attitude of I’m activated - To be activated is another way of saying you are enthusiastic about what you’re doing. To get enthusiastic about anything - people, places, things - dig into it deeper. If you ever hope to get someone else excited about something you must first be excited about it yourself. Results come in proportion to enthusiasm applied.
The attitude of You are important - Every person in the world has the desire to feel important. The desire to be important is man's strongest, most compelling non-biological hunger. Headlines that produce sales read like "Persons with distinctive tastes", "You want only the best", "Be the envy of everyone". If we can consciously and genuinely make others feel important, the world is our oyster. Customers will buy more, employees will work harder, others will cooperate more, and boss will do more to help you. Treating someone as second-class will never get us first-class results. Share praise. Don't hog it as when you share praise sub-ordiantes will know we sincerely appreciate their value. Never let anyone feel he is taken for granted. Appreciate everyone's contribution and how much it is important.
The attitude of Service first - We all understand that money is necessary for our survival. Without money we can’t buy the food, clothing, shelter and other things we need. We can’t fully help the poor or enrich our families lives. Money, then, is a desirable objective. However, putting “money-first” in our minds does not increase money. The seed of money is in fact, service. If you have an attitude of putting service first — always giving people more than they expect to get — you’ll create wealth. Put service first and money will take care of itself.

Think Right Toward People
Success depends on the support of other people. The only hurdle between what we want to be is the support of other. Salesmen depend on people to buy their product, writers depend on people to read what they are writing, and politicians depend on people to vote for them. If success is dependent upon other people’s support, how do we get others to support us then?
The answer can be summed up on one phrase, think right toward people. Schwartz relates former President Lyndon Johnson’s ten-point formula from to help you do this:
- Learn to remember names. Inefficiency at this point may indicate that your interest is not sufficiently outgoing.
- Be a comfortable person so there is no strain in being with you. Be an old-shoe, old-hat kind of individual.
- Acquire the quality of relaxed easy-going so that things do not ruffle you.
Don’t be egotistical. Guard against the impression that you know it all.
- Cultivate the quality of being interesting so people will get something of value from their association with you.
- Study to get the “scratchy” elements out of your personality, even those of which you may be unconscious.
- Sincerely attempt to heal, on an honest Christian basis, ever misunderstanding you have had or now have. Drain off your grievances.
- Practice liking people until you learn to do so genuinely.
- Never miss an opportunity to say a word of congratulation upon anyone’s achievement, or express sympathy in sorrow or disappointment.
- Give spiritual strength to people, and they will give genuine affection to you.

We need to improve the "likeability" factor as it is more important than "technical" factor. Being likeable makes it easier to succeed. Sucess is guaranteed if have mastered the technique of thinking only good thoughts about people. Adhere to the suggestions
- Recognize the fact that no person is perfect. Some people are more nearly perfect than others, but no man is absolutely perfect. The most human quality about human beings is that they make mistakes, all kinds of them.
- Recognize the fact that the other fellow has a right to be different. Never play god about anything. Never diskike people because of their habbits are different from your own or because they prefer different clothes, religion, parties etc We don't have to approve of what another fellow does but we must not dislike him for doing it.
- Don't be a reformer. Put a little more "live-and-let-live" into philosohphy. Most people intensely dislike being told "you're wrong". We have right to our opinion but sometimes it is better to keep it to ourselves.
- Recognize how dull it would be if all people were alike and everybody was perfect
- Recognize no person is all good and no person is all bad. The perfect person doesn't exist
- Recognnize that if we let our thinking go uncontrolled, we can find much to dislike in almost anyone. By the same, token, if we manage our thinking properly, if we think right toward people, we can find many qualities to like and admire in the same person
- Recognize that the person who does the most talking and the person who is the most successful is rarely the same person. Encourage others to talk. Listen and Learn
- Recognize that courtsey practiced in every relationship is the finest tranquilizer that can be used. No commercial preparation is 1/10 as effective in relaxing as the little things done for other people. Thinking right towards people removes frusterations and stress.
- Recognize the real test for thinking right towards people comes when things don't go exactly the way we want. How we feel when we are passed up for promotion? Or When criticized for job done. Dont blame others for setback. How we think when we lose will determine how long it will be until until we win!

Get the Action Habit
There is plenty of room at the top. There are many almost qualified people, but there is one success ingredient often missing. The abiity to get things done to get results. Prinicipal Executives looking for a key person demand answers to questions like "Will he do the job?", "Will he follow through?", "Is he a self-starter?", "Can he get results or is he just a talker?"

Ideas and thinking about something is not enough. Everything that we have in this world, from ships to skyscrapers to baby food, is just an idea acted upon.

If you take a comparative study of successful and average people, you’ll find that they fall into two classes. The successful are ones who are active. The average, the mediocre, the unsuccessful are passive. The active person does. The passive person is going to do but doesn’t

The test of a successful person is not an ability to eliminate all problems before they arise, but to meet and work out difficulties when they do arise. We must be willing to make an intelligent compromise with perfection lest we wait forever before taking actions. We can’t wait for everything to be 100 percent favorable before we take action. Most things that really mean anything require some leap of faith. Sure, perfection is highly desirable but hoping for the perfect set of conditions is to hope forever.

Make up your mind to do something with your ideas other than simply dreaming more about them. Ideas are important. We need to have ideas to create or improve anything. But ideas in and of themselves are not enough. Ideas only have value when acted upon.

People that get things done don't wait for the spirit to move them. Rather than thinking about the unpleasent features of the task, jump right in and get going without lot of deliberation so that you can return to tasks that you love to do

Now is the magic word of success, Tomorrow, next week, later, sometime, someday often are synonyms for the failure word, never.

Initiative is the special kind of action. Its doing something wort-while without being told to do it. The person with initiative has a standing invitation to join the high-income brackets in every business and profession. To develop the initiative habit
- Be a crusader. If there is something that we believe ought to be done, pick up the ball and run.
- Be a volunteer. Sometimes we don't vounteer due to be the fear of being laughed at, of being called an eager beaver, of being accused of bucking for a raise. It's natural to want to belong, to be accepted, to have group approval. But asking "Which group do I want to be accepted by the jealous group or progressive group" will help us with the choice. Volunteer for special assignments.

How to Turn Defeat Into Victory
It is not possible to win high level success without meeting opposition, hardship, setback. It is possible to use setback to propel us forward. Defeat is only a state of mind - nothing more.

Civil Aeronautics Administration studies setbacks to pave the way to safer air travel. Doctors use setbacks to pave the way to better health and longer life by using information provided in post mortem. Everyone follows the success principle : Salvage something from every setback

The difference between success and failure is found in your attitude towards setbacks, handicaps, and other disappointing situations. Here are five ways to turn defeat into victory:
- Learn from prior mistakes. When you have a setback, learn why it didn’t work, readjust, and then go on to win next time.
- Don’t just beat yourself up. Learn to be your own constructive critic. Look for your faults and weaknesses not with the intention of putting yourself down but to correct them. This is what being a “professional” is all about. Blaming others is destructive. We gain absolutely nothing from "proving" that someone else is wrong
- Stop blaming luck. This is a cop-out. Instead, research why something went wrong. Blaming luck will never get you where you want to go, it’s only another form of ‘excusitis.’
- Mix up persistence with experimentation. Try to stick to your goal but at the same time, if the route you’re taking isn’t getting you anywhere, try a new approach. Experiment. There’s no sense in banging your head against a wall.
- Remember that there is always something good about every situation. Look for it. This will keep discouragement at bay and help you to learn from all experiences.

Use Goals to Help You Grow
Goals are as essential to success as air to life. The important thing is not where you were or where you are but where you want to go.

A goal is more than a wish or dream. It is a dream acted upon. Without goals, people just wander through life without direction or purpose. Goals are essential to success as air is to life.

Not only do goals give you a sense of purpose and direction, they also give you energy. Energy increases and multiplies when you set a desired goal and resolve to work toward that goal. By surrendering yourself to your desires, and letting yourself become obsessed with a goal, you receive the physical power, energy, and enthusiasm needed to accomplish it.

Like the progressive corporation, plan ahead. We are in a sense a business unit. Out talent, skills, abilities are our products. We want to develop our products so they command the highest possible price.

Schwartz uses the common approach to goals. That is plan where you want to be 10 years from now but work on that plan month by month. Define a plan for how you want life to be 10yrs from now in work, home and social areas. The three department of life are closely related. Each depends on other to some extend. But the one department which has most influence over other department is work.
1) Work
· What income do you desire in ten years?
· What level of responsibility do you look for?
· What prestige does seek from your work or business?
2) Home
· What level of standard do you aspire to?
· What kind of residence do you want to provide for yourself and your family?
· What kind and where will be your next vacation?
· What level of income will you give away to charity?
3) Social
· What kind of friends do you desire to have?
· What social groups do want to join with?
· What community position do you look to hold?
· What worthwhile cause do you want to be champion of?

30 Day Implementation Guide
What not to do?
1) Putting things off till tomorrow
2) Negative language
3) Watching television for more then 60 minutes per day.
4) Gossip
Obtain those habits.
1) Examine your appearance each and every morning.
2) Plan your day's work a day before.
3) Complement people on every opportunity.
Increase value in your work place
1) Do a better jog for your employer
2) Learn more about the company you work for.
3) Make number of suggestions to assist your companies' production.
Increase your value at home
1) Show appreciation to you wife and the family each time they do something for you.
2) Do something special one a month for your family.
3) Set time aside each day to give you loved one each day.
Sharpen your mind
1) Invest two hours per week reading professional magazines or a book in your field.
2) Read one self help book.
3) Make four new friends.
4) Spend 30 minutes daily in quite undisturbed thinking

Invest in education. Real education, the kind of worth investing in, is that which develops and cultivates your mind. How well-educated a person is measuered by how well his mind is developed-in brief how well he thinks.

The most important qualification for an executive is the sheer decide to go ahead. John Wanamaker said "A man is not doing much until the cause he works for possesses all there is of him". Desire when harnessed is power. Failure to follow desite, to do what you want to do most, paves the way for mediocrity.

Surrender to goals. Let them posses us and give us the automatic instrumentation we need to reach the goal.

Use goals to live longer. No medicine in the world is a powerfule in bringing about life as is the desire to do something.

Evaluate everything you do with the question, "Will this help take me where I want to go?"

How to Think Like A Leader
Remember that achieving high-level success requires the cooperation and support of others. And gaining support from others requires the ability to lead. To help you in this ability, Schwartz offers four leadership rules or principles that can cause others to do things for us in the executive suite, in business, in social clubs, in the home, or anywhere else we may find people:
- Trade minds with the people you want to influence. Here’s the key: To get others to do what you want them to do you must learn to see through their eyes. Truly “walking in their shoes” will unlock the secret of how to influence others.
- Think: What is the human way to handle this? People have all different approaches to leading others. One way is to assume the role of dictator, making all decisions without consulting those affected and not listening to subordinates. Dictators don’t last long. Sooner or later unrest begins to happen and their subordinates begin to leave. Another technique of leadership is the cold, mechanical, “I’m-a-rule-book operator” approach. This type of leader does everything exactly according to the book. He fails to understand the spirit of the law and ends up treating his subordinates as machines. This cold, impersonal efficiency alienates his subordinates and fails to ever inspire them. The leader who manages to have tremendous success and results with his followers is the leader who makes them feel human. This type of leader genuinely thinks that everyone under his stewardship is both important and needed in the organization. This builds respect and trust and forms the foundation whereupon they can be inspired and motivated.
- Think progress, believe in progress, push for progress. To develop a progressive mindset, follow these two maxims: Think improvement in everything you do and think high standards in everything you do. Those who are constantly looking to expand, make things more efficient, develop new products and processes, and increase prosperity will naturally develop a following. People tend to follow after those who think, believe and push for progress.
- Take time out to confer with yourself. Like machines, we require a period of maintenance and a “tuning-up.” Check the lives of the great religious leaders like moses, jesus, buddha, mohammed spent time in solitude - away from distractions of life. Many people fail to tap their creative leadership power because they confer with everybody and everything except themselves. This is best accomplished when you take time out in managed solitude. In other words, find a moment every week where you can — in solitude — spend some time just thinking. This is a tool that all great users use. Use this time to confer with yourself, to discover solutions to personal and business problems, and generally tap into a higher consciousness that only solitude and moments of quiet can bring.

Conventional Wisdom v/s Peter Drucker - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-16T16:11:00.004-04:00

Came across the brilliant article posted below at http://sanjivspace.blogspot.com/2007/07/peter-drucker-management-beliefs-vs.html

Refer earlier related posts 'What makes an effective executive' and 'Rising to the top'

Conventional wisdom (CW) : Executives need to develop the ability to make many decisions rapidly and accurately.
Peter Drucker (PD): The effective decision-maker actually makes very few decisions. This is because he recognises that most problems he faces are generic. They are not unique, one-off events. He, therefore, establishes a rule, a principle or a policy to handle all such situations. He always assumes that the event that clamours for his attention is in reality a symptom. He looks for the true problem. He is not content with just doctoring the symptom. He then makes a decision on principle at the highest possible conceptual level. This does not, as a rule, take longer than a decision on symptoms or expediency. Because the manager solves generic situations through a rule and policy, he can handle most events as cases under the rule; that is, by adaptation. This is why he does not need to make many decisions.

For instance, when Alfred Sloan, Jr, took over General Motors in 1922, he was faced with a company struggling for survival with about half a dozen divisions each headed by capable but almost independent chieftains, all pulling in different directions.
Everyone before Sloan had seen the problem as one of personalities, to be solved through a struggle for power, from which one man would emerge victorious. Sloan saw it as a constitutional problem to be solved through a new structure, that is, decentralisation, which balances local autonomy in operations with central control of direction and policy. Sloan thus identified the generic problem, which was one of organisational structure, and solved it at the highest conceptual level through decentralisation.

CW: It is important for an executive to plan his work.
PD: As Drucker put it, the above advice sounds eminently plausible. The only trouble with it is that it rarely works. The plans always remain on paper, as good intentions. Effective executives, as Drucker observed, do not start with their tasks. They start with their time. And they do not start out with planning their time. They start by finding out where their time already goes (by recording how it is actually spent by keeping a time log). Then they attempt to manage their time and to cut back unproductive demands on their time. Finally, they consolidate their "discretionary" time into the largest possible continuing units. This three-step process -- of recording time, managing time and consolidating time -- is the foundation of executive effectiveness.

CW: When making staffing decisions, a manager must be alert to the weaknesses of a prospective candidate.
PD: The effective executive fills positions and promotes on the basis of what a man can do. He does not make staffing decisions to minimise weaknesses but to maximise strengths. This is because to try to build against weakness frustrates the purpose of organisation. Organisation is a specific instrument to make human strengths redound to performance while human weakness is neutralised and largely rendered harmless.

Drucker quoted the following example to illustrate his point. Abraham Lincoln, when told that General Ulysses S Grant, his new commander-in-chief, was fond of the bottle, said: "If I knew his brand, I'd send a barrel or so to some other generals." After a childhood on the Kentucky and Illinois frontier, Lincoln assuredly knew all about the bottle and its dangers. But of all the Union generals, Grant alone had proven consistently capable of planning and leading winning campaigns. Grant's appointment was the turning point of the Civil War. It was effective because Lincoln chose his general for his tested ability to win battles, and not for his sobriety, that is, for the absence of a weakness.

CW: Executives need to be good problem-solvers.
PD: While problem-solving is an important task, one must always keep in mind that an organisation obtains results by exploiting opportunities, and not by solving problems. All one can hope to get by solving a problem is to restore normality. At best, it can help eliminate a restriction on the capacity of the business to obtain results. The results themselves must come from the exploitation of opportunities.

CW: Entrepreneurs are a breed apart from other people with a different psychology and character traits.
PD: Entrepreneurship is not about character traits. It is not something mysterious -- whether a gift, talent, inspiration, or "flash of genius". Entrepreneurship is a purposeful task that can be organised. It is a question of behaviour, policies and practices rather than personality. It is a discipline that can be learned. What's more, entrepreneurship is part of every executive's job and needs to be mastered by any manager who wishes to be effective.

Blink - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-13T21:26:00.012-04:00

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/articleshow/3110851.cms

The article in timesofindia on intuition refers to the book "blink" (metaphor "a blink of the eye" for intuition) by Malcom Galdwell prompting me to read the book which was also suggested in one of our training sessions.

'blink' is about how experts make better decisions by making "snap judgements" (rather than studying "volumes of analysis") especially when confronted with complex situations or need for decisions under stress.

As per 'blink', it is alright to judge a book by its cover so long as we do so in an intelligent, informed, controlled manner. Decisions made very quickly can be every bit as good as decisions made cautiously and deliberately.

The power of knowing in the first two seconds (thin slicing),is not a gift given magically to a fortunate few. It is an ability that we can all cultivate for ourselves.

Our unconscious reactions often have to compete with our emotions, our likes, dislikes, prejudices and stereotypes and these emotions can easily corrupt (prime) the ability of our unconscious.

Also there are instances when our intuition betrays us. This failure on part of our unconscious has nothing to do with how much information we can process quickly, but on the few particular details on which we need to focus and manage (mind reading is an example).

As I was reading the book, I was wondering how the results of the numerous studies relating to "thin slicing", "priming", "mind reading" could be be applied to other aspects of our life e.g. customer service, recruitment, relationships apart from using them to manage our unconscious reactions

I have used the review from http://serendip.brynmawr.edu/exchange/node/497 and have added ideas from the book that sounded interesting to me

In the introduction to Blink by Malcolm Gladwell, he tells the story of the J. Paul Getty Museum’s purchase of an ancient kouros dating from the sixth century BC. The museum had scientists perform test after test on the kouros to make sure it was authentic. It was concluded that the statue was most definitely the real thing, being thousands of years old. When art historians, however, took one look at the statue they knew that something was amiss and, sure enough, after a few more tests it was determined that the statue was artificially aged. Gladwell’s book is all about that one look the experts took of the korous to know that it was a fake. Blink is all about the snap judgments we make everyday and how we can use those judgments to make better decisions. This incident also brings an important aspect relating to intuition - the experts from Getty Museum's wanted to own the kourus and hence were blinded to their intution - we sometime ignore our intuition and try to see what we want to see.

Our brain uses two very different strategies to make sense of any situation. The first is the one we are most familiar with. It's the conscious strategy. We think about what we have learned, and eventually we come up with an answer. This strategy is logical and definitive. This takes a long time (study of Iowa gamblers - takes 80 cards for decision). It is slow and needs lots of information. The second strategy operates quicker(study of Iowa gamblers - decision kicks in 10 cards). It operates below the surface of consciousness (a.k.a. adaptive unconscious - not to be confused with the dark unconscious decribed by freud) and provides messages thru indirect channels such as sweat glands in palms of our hands, feeling sommething is amiss, the hunch etc.

Adaptive unconscious is thought of, as a giant computer that quickly and quietky processes a lot of data that we need in order to keep functioning as human beings. The giant computer crunches all the data it can from the experiences we have had, the people we have met, the lessons we have learnt, the people we have met, the books we have read, the movies we have seen and so on and form a opinion When we walk out into the street and suddenly realize that a truck is bearing down on us - do we have time to think through all options - the unconscious makes very quick judgements based on very little information.

Just as a modern jetliner is able to fly on auto-pilot with little or no input from the human, comscious pilot - the adaptive unconscious does an excellent job of sizing up the world, warning people of danger, setting goals and initiating actions in a sophisticated and efficient manner.

Neurologist Antonio Damasio determinded that critical part of the brain, ventromedial prefrontal cortex, which lies behind the nose, plays a critical role in decision making. It works out contigencies and relatioships and sorts through mountains of information we get from the outside world, priortitizing it and putting flags on things that demand immediate attention. Damage is ventromedial disconnects between waht you know and what you do like Addicts who can articulate very well the consequences of their behaviour but fail to act accordingly. People with damaged vetromedial were not able to sense the pricking of sweat in their hands or feel something is amiss - the push to make sure they did the right thing is missing in them.

We toggle back and forth between our conscious and unconscious modes of thinking, depending on the situation. When we decision to invite a co-worker over for dinner is a conscious. We think it over. We decide it will be fun. The spontaneous decision to argue with the same co-worker is made unconsciously.

We are innately suspicious of adaptive unconscious, of rapid congnition as we live in a world that assumes that the quality of the a decision is directly related to the time and effort that went into making it. When doctors are faced with a difficult diagnosis, they order more tests and when we are uncertain about what we hear, we ask for second opinion. We are conditioned with 'Haste makes waste', 'Look before you leap', 'Stop and think'. There are moments, particularly in times of stress, when our 'snap judgements' and 'first impressions' can offer a much better means of making sense of the world.

One of the amazing studies comes from a psychologist, John Gottman, at the University of Washington. Gottman brings young couples, who have recently married, to his lab and videotapes them for fifteen minutes. He leaves them alone and has them discuss anything that is a point of conflict within their marriage. Besides the camera, he also hooks the couples up to electrodes, which measure heart rate and how much they sweat, and also attaches a device to their chairs that measures how much they move around. Gottman then goes back and analyses the data and videotapes and is able to determine whether the couple will have a successful marriage. Gottman is a master of facial expressions. He has a numbering system that corresponds to every emotion a couple could possibly express in a conversation. Generally, if the negative emotions in the conversation outweigh the positive or neutral emotions the
success of the marriage does not look good. Although these results may look skeptical at first, Gottman has studied over three thousand couple and by looking at his fifteen minute videos has had a ninety percent success rate for determining whether a couple will still be together in seven years - all based on measiring the positive and negative emotions in 15 minutes of conversation.

Although Gottman’s work is conscious and deliberate, Gladwell notes that much of what he does is part of rapid cognition or what he refers to as “thin-slicing.” Gottman finds patterns(positive and negative emotions) in behavior based on very “thin slices” (15 minutes) of couple's experience rather than analysing individual life and life together over a week or longer. Galdwell ignores all the greater details or irrelevant information and simply focuses on the positive and negative emotions in the 15 minutes of conversation. Our unconscious is really good at this (ignoring irrelevant information and focusing on the thing that matters most) and it is a large part of the snap judgment calls we make everyday.

The study for calculating risk by determining which of the physicians covered by the company are more likely to be sued is one more very good example of "thin-slicing". Rather than examining physicians training and credentials and analyzing the records to see how many errors they have made over the past few years. It was found that the easier option was to simply listen to the tone of the voice used by the doctor while talking to the patient for two seconds - to determine the likely hood of the patient sueing the doctor. This 'thin slice" was selected based on the fact that if the doctor treats patients on a personal level - they will never blame the doctor even if the doctor is wrong - rest all of the other information is irrelvant. Isn't that brilliant - wouldn't it be wonderful if we learnt to 'thin slice' and apply it to other aspects of our life to run it more efficiently, apart from knowing that this is what our unconcious uses while making "snap judgements" - by always questioning is this the "thinnest" slice for such a decision that we can use routinely henceforth.

Another example of "thin slicing" is a study done by Nalini Amabdy where the teacher's effectiveness ratings provided by students based on 2 second videotapes of a teacher - with the sound turned off - matched with those provided by students who sat in the teacher's class for an entire semester. The example illustrates the importance of "thin slicing" in decision making i.e. focusing on the relevant information (2 secs video tape) needed to arrive at the decision and ignoring everything else (feedback over one semester).

Feroz uses "thin slicing" all the time with movies, books - he watches a movie for 10 minutes or reads 5 pages of a book and decides if it is worth his time. An example of the ability to extract an enormous amount of meaningful information from the thinnest slice of experience.

The chapter on Kenna's Dilema mentions about 'The Gambler' song by Kenny Roger. Me and Feroz are Kenny Roger fans but Feroz will never get tired of hearing his songs and the CD keeps playing for hours once it goes in.

Since the "snap judgements" are unconscious processes, it can be frustrating that we can not even describe why we feel or act a certain way when prompted by a stimulus. Gladwell believes that it is often detrimental to our judgments if we try to describe what is happening within our unconscious.

Galdwell gives the example of tennis coach Vic Braden. While working with professional athletes, Braden began asking players how and why they play the way they do. In his research, Braden discovered that none of the athletes he talked with were able to give him a consistent answer to his question. Braden then began videotaping star tennis players and digitizing their movements so that he could see, frame for frame, ever move they made, while, say, hitting a forehand. When asking players how they hit a forehand, Braden found that most said something about using their wrist to roll the racket over the ball. The videos, however, show that the wrist almost never moves until long after the ball has been hit. These players were making up stories to explain something that occurred within their unconscious. The results of these stories were coaches teaching faulty advice and beginners walking away with wrist damage.

Gladwell remarks that one of the things humans need to come to terms with is accepting our ignorance in many situations and learning to say “I don’t know.” Many of the outputs of our nervous system result from unconscious inputs, therefore making it often useless to try and explain ourselves.

Adaptive unconscious also involves a process called “priming”. Gladwell mentions the study of two Dutch researchers who had several groups of students each answer forty-two Trivial Pursuit questions. Half were asked to take five minutes to think about
what it would mean to be a professor and write it down, while the other half were asked to do the same with soccer hooligan in place of professor. The students who thought about professors ended up getting 55.6 percent of the questions correct, while the soccer group got 42.6 percent correct. The professor group wasn’t any smarter than the soccer group, but they were put in a “smart” mind frame before answering the questions.

The several studies provided on "priming" are interesting. Priming is the dark side of rapid cognition, a process that goes on within the adaptive unconscious that can change the way we think. Most of the time we are simply operating on auto pilot, and the way we think and act - and how well we think and act on the spur of the moment - are more susceptible to outside influences than we realize. If you were provided lot of info relating to old age - your walking style will be slighlty affected immediately as you get out of the session i.e. you are "primed" with the information - your conscious tells your body - I have picked some clues that we are in an environment that is concerned about old age and lets behave accordingly. There are times when we reach snap jusdgement without ever getting below the surface. The priming (powerful associations with certain words) that causes us to change our behaviour can also be related to people's appearence - their shape, color, sex, size. Warren Harding is considered to be one of the worst presidents of US. Many people who looked at Warren Harding saw how extraordinarily handsome and distinguished-looking he was and jumped to the immediate - and entirely unwarranted - conclusion that he was a man of courage and intelligence and integrity. They didn't dig below the surface. The way he looked carried so many powerful connotations that it stopped the normal process of thinking dead in its tracks. Priming is the root of a good deal of prejudice and discrimination. Knowing the circumstances when rapid cognition can lead us astray is important

When we make a split-second decision, we are really vulnerable to being guided by our stereo types and prejudices, even ones we may not necessarily endorse or believe

The studies on priming are done using Implicit Association Test Tool (IAT - url www.implicit.harvard.edu) based on the fact that we make connections much more quickly between pairs of ideas that are already related in our minds than we do between pairs of ideas that are unrelated to us. The IAT shows that our unconcious attitudes maybe utterly incompatible with our stated conscious values. The IAT is also a predictor of how we act in certain kinds of spontaneous situations. To fix the effect of priming, the something that happens outside of our awareness - we need to consciously change the experiences that formed our first impressions - i.e. treating black people as equals in every way by exposing oursleves to their culture, becoming comfortable with them - taking active steps to manage and control the first impressions

Several of the examples in the study for "priming" relate to the attributes that are associated with blacks (part of Race IAT) and how that "primes" our judgements. Once again, made me thank God for not having to struggle as hard as some of our other fellow beings have to - to achieve anything based on the social "priming". We saw in the post on 'Taming the Gremlin' - how we can shut off the "priming" effect of the unconscious. The scary revealations provided by the IATs can certainly be used in many areas. To ensure the right person is recruited and not necessarily a 'tall leader' as we automatically associate leadership with imposing physical structure. To ensure excellent customer service is provided without judging anyone on the basis of their appearance.

One of the most memorable stories Gladwell tells relates back to the lesson of the korous and trusting gut reactions over vast amounts of empirical evidence. This story involves a man named Paul Van Riper and the Millennium Challenge War Games of 2002. Van Riper, an experienced Marine Corps commander, was appointed head of the Red Team; the enemy team in which Van Riper was a rogue military commander who had broken away from his government located in the Persian Gulf. He was to have a strong following of religious and ethnic loyalties and was harboring four different terrorist organizations (sound familiar?). The Blue Team (the United States) was given millions of dollars worth of high-tech gizmos and hundreds of military analysts, as well as significantly more troops. The Blue Team was given the equipment to know exactly where the Red Team was at all times, and supposedly all the information to know what the Red Team would do before they actually did it. The events of the games, however, did not go exactly as the Blue Team had expected. On the second day of the “war,” Van Riper used motor bikes to exchange messages rather than using satellite etc that the Blue team was expecting them to use. He sent a fleet of small boats into the Gulf to track the ships of the Blue Team. He than attacked them in an assault of missiles, sinking sixteen American ships before the Blue Team had a chance to strike. Being an experienced military man, Van Riper knew what all the analysts and technology whizzes working for the Blue Team could never understand: when making decisions under immense pressure, experts won’t logically and systematically compare all available information. That takes far too long. Experts know to thin-slice the situation based on experience, wisdom, intuition, a rough mental simulation, and react to the best of their ability. Unfortunately, this method did not sit well with the United States Military. Those in charge of the War Games “un-sunk” the lost ship and gave Van Riper a script to act from, in which the Blue Team, of course, won. After hearing this story, is it any surprise that shortly after when the U.S. declared war on Iraq, ensuring a straight-forward and quick victory, that troops are still being sent over and loosing their lives? Van Riper’s story provides a frightening example of what can happen when people in high places venomously ignore their snap judgments.

blink is about making sophisticated decisions at the spur of the moment. Basket ball is an intricate, high speed game filled with split-second spontaneous decisions. But the spontaneity is acheived by hours of practice as sponteneity isn't random. How good people's decisions are under high stress conditions of rapid cognition is a function of training, rules and rehearsal. We need to create conditions for sucessful spontaneity in advance.

A truly sucessful decision making relies on a balance between deliberate and instinctive thinking. Deliberate thinking is wonderful tool when we have the luxury of time, clearly defined tasks. The fruit of this type of analysis can set the stage for rapid cognition. In good decision making, frugality matters i.e. reducing a complex problem to simplest elements. When we thin-slice, we understand the underlying pattern of the problem unconscioulsy i.e. we 'edit' the problem for frugality. We get in trouble when we are not able to 'edit' the problem. When people were provided choice of 70 jams - they were paralyzed with the choices and were not able to decide. Snap judgements are made in a snap because they are frugal. We need to have steps to get to the frugality of the problem for snap judgements to happen.

The ability to operate without having to explain constantly enables rapid cognition. This is a wonderful thought for managers to keep in mind when working with teams

People's first impressions are wrong as they mis-interpret their own feelings when presented with new and unusual information. It takes time to understand new information and to actually start appreciating it - till the time the information is understood it falls in wierd category. The new model of ergonomic chair was rejected by people in their first impression due to its different look and feel. People didn't have an history with the new model and hence it is difficult for them to imagine a future with it. There was nothing familiar in the ergo chair and hence the work 'ugly' was just a proxy for different. The problem with market research is that often it is simply too blunt an instrument to pick up this distinction between the bad and the merely different. Testing ideas that are truly revolutionary is another matter, and the most successful companies are those that understand that in those cases, the impressions of their consumers need interpretation. Their is a caveat, the first impressions of experts don't fall in this category i.e. experts like different things than most of the people. When we become expert in something, our tastes grow more esoteric and complex. Experts know how to interpret and decode their snap judgements and first impressions.

It is not that if we have all the information, we can't lose. In the game of chess we can see the chess board, yet we don't win all the time. Managers try to know more and more about everything and this hinders them from performing optimally.

blink presents ideas relating to our spontaneity in making decisions relating to product. First of all the product is both the product and packing for people to make decision. Also the snap decision about products is a reaction to the evidence of taste buds, eyes, memories and imagination and is not related to one dimension. Hence it is important to service all the dimensions of the product. In the example of coke and pepsi - pepsi was busy working on branding while coke was busy on getting the sip test - it is important to remember that the product decisions are made not only on sip test. The triangle test - identify pepsi from three glasses two of which contain coke and one contains pepsi is a good example of how a good vocabulary of taste is needed to identify the pepsi glass and a shallow knowledge of colas won't do - we need to think about colas and become an expert on cola.

The practice of inferring the motivations and intentions of others is classic thin slicing. It is picking up on sublte, fleeting cues in order to read someone's mind.

Of course, there are cases in which using judgment can backfire. Take the case of the three police officers working in the South Bronx who came upon Amadou Diallo standing outside his apartment building at midnight. The officers immediately assumed that Diallo was a robber or drug-dealer due to the fact that he was out so late and black. When the officers yelled to Diallo to come talk with them he ran into the vestibule of his house trying to open the inside door. The officers say that Diallo began reaching into his pockets, pulling out what appeared to be a gun. The officers fired forty-one shots, mutilating Diallo’s body. When the three officers went up to look at they man they had just killed, it turned out that what had been in his hand was a wallet and not a gun at all. In this case Gladwell believes that the officers experienced a condition he calls “temporary autism,” in which a person under incredibly high stress (heart rate of 175) is unable to interpret facial expressions, or unable to “mind read.” Because of past experiences, when Diallo turned to run they panicked due to the heightened stress of the situations, the police were not able to make clear judgments about the situation, such as reading the fear on Diallo’s face for malice. Mind reading is an ability that increases with practice

We don't have much control over whatever bubbles to the surface from our unconscious. If we can control the environment in which rapid congnition takes place than we can control rapid cognition - we can prevent the people from fighting wars, polices from making mistakes etc

Working Hours - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-09T10:32:00.005-04:00

Currently, I am not leading teams and don't work long hours. This was a conscious decision taken - to take more responsibilities at home at the cost of giving up on responsibilities at work. Always keep wondering how could I have kept the balance - do try to lookup for a leader to model (NLP) while I read.

The below site features some of the leaders and how they work long hours which also is a pointer to their strong passion!
http://money.cnn.com/2006/03/02/news/newsmakers/howiwork_fortune_032006/index.htm

One striking point was, most of them have assistants (next level of support) screening emails, documents. This 'next level of support' is a team that these leaders have been working with for, more than 10yrs and are trusted. In IT, these seems next to impossible. The single most thing that would have made my work life easier would have been delegation and 100% trust that the task delegated would be completed without followup. Why is this so difficult? Don't my manager count on me for that?

The IT leaders love their emails - couldn't believe that. I wish, I had the freedom to have a perpetual out-of-office active for my email saying 'There will be delay in responding to emails. If it is urgent please reach out to me or XXX'. I beleive an emergency cannot be resolved in email. Offcourse, at the same time ensuring, every call on the cellphone is a urgent one. Unfortunately, you don't have the luxury in a service industry where the out-of-office message could be going out to your customer and you need to be available to the customer all the time. Some of the managers I worked with - don't read their emails or rather read emails from a select few - I don't think we have that option! We certainly need to prioritize the time to be spent in browsing the content for some mails over time spent in understanding the contents and responding to those appropriately. It is better to let people know you are not reading emails all the time - to ensure nobody is waiting for a response back from you sooner. I wish, I could limit email time to every 5-15 mts break that AG Lafley takes for recharging himself.

Some keypoints I noted
1. From the feature on Hank Palson (the article is outdated - he is now ex Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs), I could see discipline is one way of controling your work life. Letting everybody know your business hours and sticking to it.
2. The key to controlling Bill Gross's (CIO, Chief Investment Officer - not Chief Information Officer - for Pimco) busy work day is a hour long spent in yoga in the middle of the day to clear the mind
3. For Howard Schultz, Chairman and CEO of Starbucks, it is a long day from 5.00am (catching up with Europe) till late in the night(catching up with Asia) on the day to day stuff. That would be tiring! The passion would be so strong to never feel the long work hours! Interestingly, he doesn't uses emails at all and believes in stayin in touch with people personally - congratulating them for the good work for the day or understanding the challenges. Can't imagine how it would have been for him with the recent 600 store closing for a person who works so closely on day to day operations.
4. Carlos Ghosn, CEO of Renault(France) and CEO of Nissan(Japan). Carlos believes in looking at a problem from a distance helps to create better ideas and recharging (spending time with family) helps to look at the problem from more distance with extra strength and creative ideas
5. AG Lafley, Chairman and CEO of P&G. He believes in recharging himself with 5-15 minutes break to talk to people, managing energy levels by eating small meals 6 times a day and in minimizing information onslaught

Playing it Safe - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-06T11:47:00.005-04:00

I could relate to this article in terms of Feroz's and my life.

http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Lifestyle/Spirituality/Mind_over_Matter/Mind_set_Dont_play_it_safe/articleshow/2223732.cms

I fit in the decription of the "Playing it Safe" person in the article
Most of the world likes to play it safe. They go to their safe jobs, come home to their safe relationships, they drive safe cars, they invest money in safe corporations, they think safe thoughts, and they want nothing more than to feel safe and secure

Feroz fits the description of "Adventurer"
This other group lives for thrills. They don't just occasionally think outside the box, they actually prefer to live outside the box. This is a group who thrives on adventure, change, and newness. They love innovative new ideas, they like to explore new things, and push the envelope beyond its capabilities.

This group often does not feel understood nor supported by the mainstream population. They are not rebels, although they are often accused of being rebellious because they do not embrace the status quo. This group is not anti-anything. They do not require group consensus to be who they are. Young adults often think that by dressing badly or by misbehaving that they are somehow brave and different from whatever it is that they are opposing, but that is not revolutionary and different, that is just anger turned inside out. They are not making a point, they are not changing the world, they are simply behaving in a manner that causes people to shun them. That is not the group I am talking about today.

The aspect that causes anxiety in me due to this difference in us is - the aspect of breaking rules. Having grown up in an environment of accepting rules all the time - it is always difficult for me to even watch Feroz breaking the rules. In his college, Feroz puts in maybe 50% more time in creating course work for students, spending time with the students and that is because he looks at his work as an oppurtunity for creativity but would get himself into trouble over some of the administration rules such as being in college everyday at a certain time or his insistence on using green ink. Questioning Rules and Breaking those that do not make sense is what he believes in.

Could relate very well to the ideas in the post
Those who would keep things safe and comfortable become frightened and angry at these innovative new thinkers. They torment them, threaten them, mistreat them, ostracise them, and create a storm of ugliness to try and stop these people from simply sharing the gifts of their hearts that they were born to share with humanity.

Though the article refers to people who made difference to humanity. In my life, with Feroz, I have learnt that the ability to "not play safe" doesn't needs to be as profound - to create an impact on humanity - as described in the article. It can be done in simple and basic aspects of life - to live our life to the fullest - in our ability to live our passion - by simply saying "NO" to the clutter that stops us from doing it. At this point too, I can claim to be a mere audience to Feroz and have not taken 'The Dip' but can say that the effect of overturning areas where we are rigid in our thinking is not a easy one and needs lot of commitment (faith, courage to overcome fear, persistence). I can relate it to my expereince of being on the dive board for the first time and not jumping. I had all the knowledge about what to do and what not to do, my swimming instructor was there below to help me and I was holding to my Dive Safety Float too - but still took lot of time for me to jump off from the Dive board (and not pushed from the dive board by the instructor). I appreciate Feroz's patience with my feelings of anxiety in implementing the change of 'not playing it safe all the time'. I am taking my first baby step of learning to say "NO" at times, to create oppurtunities, that would help me to live my passion!

The Luck Factor - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-07-02T21:25:00.016-04:00

Luck exerts a dramatic influence over our lives. A few seconds of bad fortune can unravel years of striving, while a moment of good luck can lead to success and happiness. Luck has the power to transform the improbable into the possible; to make the difference between life and death, reward and ruin, happiness and despair.

Read the book "Luck Factor" by Richard Wiseman, head of a psychology research department at the University of Hertfordshire in England. It is an interesting read on the results of Dr. Wiseman's experiments on Luck conducted over 8 years with hundreds of people as part of the Luck project. The Luck Project scientifically explores why some people live such charmed lives, and aims to develop techniques that enable others to enhance their own good fortune. The main findings from the research have been published in the bestselling book 'The Luck Factor'

Lucky people meet their perfect partners, achieve their lifelong ambitions, find fulfilling careers, and live happy and meaningful lives. Their success is not due to them working especially hard, being amazingly talented or exceptionally intelligent. Instead, they simply appear to have an uncanny ability to be in the right place at the right time and enjoy more than their fair share of lucky breaks.

Psychologists have studied how our lives are affected by our intelligence, personality, genes, appearance, and upbringing. Measuring intelligence and categorizing people’s personalities is relatively straightforward, but how do you quantify luck and control chance? Dr Wiseman began by carrying out a survey to discover the percentage of people who considered themselves lucky or unlucky, and whether people’s luck tended to be concentrated in one or two areas of their lives or
spread across many different areas.

The book describes a scientifically proven way of understanding, controlling and increasing our Luck. The exercises in the book provide strategies to improve our Luck Factor.

Over time, Dr. Wiseman built up a database of about 400 people from all over the UK, all walks of life, who considered themselves especially lucky or unlucky. The people in both groups were saying, "I've no idea why this is the case; I'm just lucky" -- or unlucky. Dr Wiseman didn't believe that for a minute. He thought there was something else going on. So in the Luck Project, he've had the volunteers take part in experiments, interviewed them, had them keep diaries -- all sorts of things -- trying to piece together why we have one group of people for whom everything would work out well and another group for whom things would be completely disastrous.

Dr Wiseman uncovered thar Luck is not a magical ability or gift from the Gods. People are not born lucky or unlucky, but they create much of their own good and bad luck through their thoughts, feelings and actions.

If you are not able to get your hands on the book - the short colorful booklet is must read for getting insights into 'The Luck Factor'. The PDF has good graphics and a color print will make a good read - and easier to pass it on to someone else as a gift http://www.theluckfactor.com/docs/ebooklet.pdf
I have pasted brief of the book at the bottom of the post.

The Q & A session with Dr Wiseman on some of the FAQs on Luck
http://www.fastcompany.com/magazine/72/realitycheck.html?page=0%2C1

Isn't there a distinction between chance and luck?
There's a big distinction. Chance events are like winning the lottery. They're events over which we have no control, other than buying a ticket. They don't consistently happen to the same person. They may be formative events in people's lives, but they're not frequent. When people say that they consistently experience good fortune, I think that, by definition, it has to be because of something they are doing.

In other words, they make their own luck.
That's right. What I'm arguing is that we have far more control over events than we thought previously. You might say, "Fifty percent of my life is due to chance events." No, it's not. Maybe 10% is. That other 40% that you think you're having no influence over at all is actually defined by the way you think.

What are some of the ways that lucky people think differently from unlucky people?One way is to be open to new experiences. Unlucky people are stuck in routines. When they see something new, they want no part of it. Lucky people always want something new. They're prepared to take risks and relaxed enough to see the opportunities in the first place.

How did you uncover that in your lab?
We did an experiment. We asked subjects to flip through a news-paper that had photographs in it. All they had to do was count the number of photographs. That's it. Luck wasn't on their minds, just some silly task. They'd go through, and after about three pages, there'd be a massive half-page advert saying, STOP COUNTING. THERE ARE 43 PHOTOGRAPHS IN THIS NEWSPAPER. It was next to a photo, so we knew they were looking at that area. A few pages later, there was another massive advert -- I mean, we're talking big -- that said, STOP COUNTING. TELL THE EXPERIMENTER YOU'VE SEEN THIS AND WIN 150 POUNDS [about $235].

For the most part, the unlucky would just flip past these things. Lucky people would flip through and laugh and say, "There are 43 photos. That's what it says. Do you want me to bother counting?" We'd say, "Yeah, carry on." They'd flip some more and say, "Do I get my 150 pounds?" Most of the unlucky people didn't notice.

But the business culture typically worships drive -- setting a goal, single-mindedly pursuing it, and plowing past obstacles. Are you arguing that, to be more lucky, we need to be less focused?
This is one of the most counterintuitive ideas. We are traditionally taught to be really focused, to be really driven, to try really hard at tasks. But in the real world, you've got opportunities all around you. And if you're driven in one direction, you're not going to spot the others. It's about getting people to have various game plans running in their heads. Unlucky people, if they go to a party wanting to meet the love of their life, end up not meeting people who might become close friends or people who might help them in their careers. Being relaxed and open allows lucky people to see what's around them and to maximize what's around them

Much of business is also about rational analysis: pulling up the spreadsheet, running the numbers, looking at the serious facts. Yet you found that lucky people rely heavily on their gut instincts.
Yes. You don't want to broadly say that whenever you get an intuitive feeling, it's right and you should go with it. But you could be missing out on a massive font of knowledge that you've built up over the years. We are amazingly good at detecting patterns. That's what our brains are set up to do.

What are some other ways you found that lucky people's minds operate differently?
They practice "counterfactual thinking." The degree to which you think that something is fortunate or not is the degree to which you generate alternatives that are better or worse.
Unlucky people say, "I can't believe I've been in another car accident." Lucky people go, "Wonderful. Yes, I had a car accident, but I wasn't killed. And I met the guy in the other car, and we got on really well, and there might be a relationship there." What's interesting is that both ways of thinking are unconscious and automatic. It would never occur to the unlucky people to see it a different way.

Isn't there something delusional about that approach -- sort of a modern version of Dr. Pangloss's "All for the best in the best of all possible worlds"? Suppose I said, "I just wrote this article, and the article stinks, and nobody read it. But hey, at least I have two arms."
What's so delusional about that? If it keeps you going in the face of adversity and softens the impact of the fact that no one read your article, and therefore you think, "Well, I can write another article, and I'm going to learn from the mistakes of the past one, and I'm going to keep on going," I think that's fine. It would be delusional if you took it to the extreme -- especially if you weren't learning from your mistakes.

But can we acknowledge that sometimes bad stuff -- car accidents, natural disasters -- just happens? Sometimes it's purely bad, and there's nothing good about it.
I've never heard that from a lucky person.

So if you buy that way of thinking, then there is no bad luck.
That's right. That's what was weird about conducting some of the interviews. Subjects would say, "I'm the luckiest person alive" -- and they'd come up with dreadful stories. They'd have the same life events as the unlucky person, but they'd look at them entirely differently.

The Four Principle for Luck Factor - Dr Richard Wiseman
Principle No.1: Maximise Your Opportunities - Make your luck
The way lucky people think and behave makes them far more likey than others to create, notice, and act upon chance opportunities in their lives. People who tend to think and behave in the same way are said to have the same personality. Dr Wiseman compared the personalities of lucky and unlucky people on 5 dimensions of personality: agreeableness, conscientiousness, extroversion, neuroticism, and openness.

Agreeableness is a measure of the degree to which someone is sympathetic toward others and willing to help them. Lucky people scored no higher on agreeableness than unlucky people. Conscientiousness is a measure of the degree to which a person is selfdisciplined, strong-willed, and determined. There was very little difference in the conscientiousness scores of lucky and unlucky people. The groups did, however, obtain very different scores on the remaining three personality dimensions – extroversion, neuroticism and openness.

The differences explained why lucky people constantly encounter chance opportunities in their lives while unlucky people do not. Lucky people score much higher than unlucky people on extroversion, and there are three ways in which extroversion significantly increases the likelihood of having a lucky chance encounter – meeting a large number of people, being a “social magnet,” and keeping in contact with people. Lucky people dramatically increase the possibility of a lucky chance encounter by meeting a large number of people in their daily lives. The more people they meet, the greater opportunity they have of running into someone who could have a positive effect on their lives. Social magnets attract others because, without realizing it, they exhibit the types of body language and facial expressions that other people find attractive and inviting. Lucky people exhibit exactly the same pattern of behaviors. Upon reviewing video tapes of interviews with lucky and unlucky people, we found that the lucky people smiled twice as much as the unlucky people, and engaged in far more eye contact. The lucky people also tended to engage in three times as much open body language (point their bodies toward the person they are speaking with, uncross their arms and legs, make gestures that display open palms) as the unlucky people.Lucky people are also effective at building secure and long-lasting attachments with the people they meet. They are easy to get to know and most people like them. They tend to be trusting and form close friendships with others. As a result, they often keep in touch with a much larger number of friends and colleagues than unlucky people. This network of friends helps promote opportunity in their lives. Together, these actions result in a massive “network of luck” and a huge potential for chance opportunities. And it takes only one chance encounter to change a life.

People who obtain a low score on the neuroticism dimension of personality are generally calm and relaxed, and people who obtain a high score are more tense and anxious. Lucky people score much lower on neuroticism than unlucky people, and this makes a big difference. Because lucky people tend to be more relaxed than most, they are more likely to notice chance opportunities. The same principle applies when lucky people meet and chat with other people. They are relaxed and attuned to the opportunities around them. Lucky people see what is there, rather than trying to find what they want to see. As a result, they are far more receptive to any opportunities that arise naturally.

People who obtain a high score on the openness dimension of personality like a great deal of variety and novelty in their lives. They love trying new experiences, new kinds of foods, and new ways of doing things. They tend not to be bound by convention and they like the notion of unpredictability. People who obtain a low score on openness tend to be much more conventional. Lucky people score much higher on openness than unlucky people, and this greater openness can help promote chance opportunities in their lives.

Professor Wiseman provides examples of people whose lives are full of opportunities. He cites, for example, a 40 year old housewife Wendy who wins about 3 competition prizes per week and whose winnings have included major prizes such as significant amounts of cash and holidays. Her secret? – She enters a lot of competitions. Wiseman’s initial point here is that if she didn’t enter any competitions then she would have no chance of winning them.

Lucky people maximise opportunities by
a. building and maintaining a strong network of luck
b. having a relaxed attitude towards life
c. being open to new experiences in their lives

Principle No.2: Lucky people make successful decisions by using their intuition and gut feelings - Your Gut is right

Lucky people consistently place their trust in colleagues and clients who are honest and reliable, and they make sound choices when it comes to their careers and financial matters. Lucky people simply know when a decision is right. In contrast, unlucky people view many of their poor decisions as yet more evidence of how they are always destined to fail. Dr Wiseman found that lucky and unlucky people differed on a rather mysterious aspect of decision making, namely, intuition. Unlucky people often ignore their intuition and regret their decisions.

Wiseman indicates that his research results suggest that a large percentage of lucky people trust their intuitions when making decisions in four important areas of their life – careers, personal relationships, business and finance. He gives many examples, including one from his own life where he felt a gut feeling that something was wrong when being asked to hand over his credit card at a particular hotel for a booking despite having done this many times before. He chose instead to pay by cheque and subsequently discovered that credit card fraud had been committed by one of the hotel employees. He had avoided being one of the victims of this fraud through following his intuition, although he had no obvious reason to suspect the fraud might occur.

Wiseman also suggests that lucky people are more likely than unlucky people to take steps to boost their intuition such as meditating and this feeds into the recommendations he makes later in the book for how you can begin to increase your own chances of being the beneficiary of good luck.

a. Lucky people listen to their gut feelings and hunches
b. Lucky people take steps to boost their intitution

Principle No.3: Expect Good Fortune
Lucky people are certain that the future will be bright. Over time, that expectation becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy because it helps lucky people persist in the face of failure and positively shapes their interactions with other people.

Good luck and bad luck, it seems, can sometimes become a self fulfilling prophecy. If you expect good luck, the suggestion is, you are more likely to receive good luck and if you expect bad luck you are more likely to receive bad luck. Wiseman also gives some examples of psychological experiments which indicate that people’s perceptions of their abilities can influence their capacities – for instance, in one experiment he alludes to, two groups of people were asked to press a switch the moment a light came on. The second group, but not the first, were told to imagine they were fighter pilots with very fast reactions. Remarkably the second group responded much faster than the first – they expected to do well and therefore performed better.

a. Lucky people expect their good luck to continue in the future
b. Lucky people attempt to achieve their goals, even if their chance of success seems slim, and perservere in the face of failure
c. Lucky people expect their interactions with others to be lucky and successful

Principle No. 4: Turn Your Bad Luck Into Good
Lucky people employ various psychological techniques to cope with, and even thrive upon, the ill fortune that comes their way. For example, they spontaneously imagine how things could have been worse, they don't dwell on the ill fortune, and they take control of the situation.

In this section, Wiseman argues forcefully for a positive attitude towards difficulties and bad luck that besets you. He suggests that if you can adopt the belief that any ill fortune that besets you will in the long run work out for the best, then cultivating this positive attitude will help you to move forward and create a luckier future for yourself. In talking about this he seems to be highlighting a kind of resilience, resourcefulness and determination alongside positive belief which can help you. He gives a number of illuminating examples including one from his own life where, in his past career as a musician, his case with all his magic tricks was stolen when he was distracted in a restaurant. Instead of bemoaning his bad luck, he used the opportunity to work through the night to create new magic tricks, with the result that is performance was much better than it would have been and his new tricks later received awards.

a. Lucky people see the positive side of their bad luck
b. Lucky people are convinced that any ill fortune in their lives will, in the long run, work out for the best
c. Lucky people do not dwellon their ill fortune
d. Lucky people take constructive steps to prevent more bad luck in the future

Asking Questions - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-06-29T12:38:00.020-04:00

Came accross this article on 'Why Brainstorming is weak' bringing out the flaws in modern brainstorming. http://www.directedcreativity.com/pages/BrainstormWeak.html

Brainstorming is by far the most widely used tool for creative thinking. It was developed in the 1940s and 1950s by advertising executive Alex Osborn, who developed a crisp list of four basic rules for generating creative ideas:
* Criticism is ruled out. Adverse judgment of ideas must be withheld until later.
* "Free-wheeling" is welcomed. The wilder the idea, the better; it is easier to tame down than to think up.
* Quantity is wanted. The greater the number of ideas, the more the likelihood of winners.
* Combination and improvement are sought. In addition to contributing ideas of their own, participants should suggest how ideas of others can be turned into better ideas; or how two or more ideas can be joined into still another idea

The flaws in modern brianstorming are
* Lack of skills for brainstorming and thinking creatively in participants - No training for creating novel ideas. The assumption is that the creative ideas are there already, locked in the mind; we just need to let them out
* Lack of preparation - flaw in assuming that brilliant, never-before-thought-of ideas will suddenly burst forth from a group of people assembled to brainstorm for an hour
* No harvesting of ideas - Those ideas that don't make out of the idea filtering process are not harvested further - they are lost

This reminded me of the 'Six Thinking Hats' brainstorming session I attended for problem solving. The 'Six Thinking Hat' tool by Bono is not only used for idea generation (brainstorming) but also is used for Idea Elimination or Filtering like the Pareto Chart. Click on the picture to read the text.

During this session each of the participant was provided with a cardboard cap (The ones we make for the kids, a square paper folded diagonally and the ends stapled together - there were more than one blue, green etc i.e. there was a blue group, green group etc). A picture was taken of the group wearing the hats before the session, giving sufficient time for the participants to start thinking Yellow, Red etc. This was followed by an hour long brain storming session where the participants spent most of the time asking questions under the influence of their imposed thinking style. Everyone in the group found it a very enlightening experience and agreed that all problems could be resolved if we simply spent time in asking Questions - The new info presented/reviewed with new Questions helps to create new neuro pathways!

When we think in the normal way, we try to do too much at once. We may be looking at the information, forming ideas, and judging someone else's ideas all at the same time. The Six Hats method allows us to unbundle thinking. Instead of trying to do everything at once, we separate out the different aspects of thinking. This way we can pay full attention to each aspect in turn. Think of fullcolor printing, where the basic color separations are made and then each basic color is printed separately onto the same sheet to give full-color printing. In the same way, we separate the modes of thinking and then apply each mode to the same subject in order to end up with full-color thinking on the subject. There is a suggestion that the chemical setting in the brain (neurotransmitters, etc.) may be different when we are being positive from when we are being negative and from when we are being creative. If this proves to be so, then there is an absolute need to separate out the different components of thinking in order to do each properly. It would be impossible to have one brain setting that was ideal for all sorts of thinking. Traditional argument is totally useless for designing new possibilities. Instead, we need Parallel Thinking, where each thinker puts forward his or her thoughts in parallel with the thoughts of others-not attacking the thoughts of others. The Six Thinking Hats method is a practical way of carrying out Parallel Thinking. The Six Hats system is not just another gimmick. This system provides an alternative to that most basic of thinking procedures: the argument. In traditional adversarial thinking, A and B are in conflict. Each side seeks to criticize the other point of view. The Six Hats method allows Parallel Thinking. Both A and B wear each hat together as they explore all sides of an issue. Adversarial confrontation is replaced by a cooperative exploration of the subject. Brainstorming (a parallel thinking process) is a good tool when we are looking for ideas - possibilities - thinking about a problem from various aspects in contrast with the the Argumentive or Critical Thinking process (Socrates, Plato, Aristotle developed the argumentive technique) which is a good tool for arguing between claims.

Asking Qs remains the basic requirement for Critical Thinking too - asking questions to understand the problem, isolating the fact, feelings (refer to the list of the many fallacies in logical thinking - http://onegoodmove.org/fallacy/toc.htm). The importance of asking questions to gain information is reduced as we go about problem solving and decision making in a highly process oriented world, that we work in today!

Feroz never makes decisions for me - He advices me to ask Qs - What is the worst that can happen? What is the best that can happen? Are there any areas of strength in the situation? How can the area of strength be used to your benefit?
I am sure Feroz's students would also agree to this as they look for his advice - he provides pointers to arrive at the decision but doesn't makes the decision. Feroz is endeared for 'teaching us to fish rather than fishing for us'.

Some of the ideas from Tony Robbins about the importance of asking Questions. Though my notes below may sound related to Qs leading to personal success - they are applicable to all areas of life - they way all the great explorers and leaders did to think about the possibility!
* Ask new Qs - as asking the same Qs will not help us get to a new solution
* Asking the right set of questions can help us to learn more about ourselves. Questions help us to provide a new understanding of the problem, they help to focus on the solution instead of the problem, moves us to action and provides other possible options.
* Questions focus thought like a lens condenses sunlight.
* Asking the right question at the right time turns confusion into clarity, and frustration into satisfaction e.g. what else does it mean? what is the one thing that is working/good? what is the experience/learning from the result (sucess/failure)?
* Asking right Qs is important - if you ask empowering Qs you will get empowering answers. If you ask disempowering Qs like - why can I not do this - you will hear reasons why you can't do it. If you ask empowering Qs - what do I need to make it happen - you will hear answers that you can work on to make it happen. How can I turn this around is another empowering Q. e.g. of a jewish holocaust survivor - he simply kept asking himself the Q - what do I need to do to stay alive today. Difference in quality of life is baded on if you ask empowering or disempowering Qs -Seek and you will get it!
* Asking empowering Qs provides us
- Access to new resources that we had missed on earlier
- Provide momentum
- Help us focus on solutions instead of problems
- Understand deeper meaning of life
- Learning from situation
- Makes us feel empowered, responsible for the change
* Disempowering Qs
- Make the problem bigger
- Gets you into Why me god state
- Gets you into a stuck state
- Gets you into a loop
* All successful people asked profound Qs making people think - JFK's Q - Ask what not what the country...made people think. Einstein was bored in a calculus class and kept asking several "What If Qs" to himself about speed of light while looking at his watch which eventually culminated into theory of relativity. Wright brothers must have asked how can we fly? "What If" is a great way to create possibilities - We can ask similar Qs and become as successful!
* Funny people keep asking a question all the time - How can I make it funny - this makes them be funny all the time
* We must discipline ourselves to regularly STOP, ASK Qs and Anwser them - to change how we feel
* Change Qs to change focus - to change state of mind - ask Qs to direct the mind
* If we are looking at living a better quality of life we need to ask better Qs
* If we are looking for unique experience we need to ask unique Qs
* For creating possibilities - ask possibility Qs - What could I learn, What is life, What do I really want, How can I give up my addiction and enjoy the process of giving it up, Who do I love and who loves me, What am I grateful for, What is great in my life, What am I really capable of more than before, What must I do to create new results, How can I become financial secure, What is one thing that I change, What is the one thing I need to do solve the problem, What is the one action I need to take to turn this around, What else could this mean,
* One of the pain area we have is managing difficult people - When someone is rude - ask - What is that is causing the person to be rude - How can I do to help this person treat me well - Qsking these Qs will make us have control rather than someone else taking control of our life - being leader of life - having control of our life
* Life is defined by our beliefs and convications - Asking "WHO I AM" is the most profound question - Taking time to write down the answer to this Q will help us determine our current beliefs and convictions and the need to change them - to achieve the things we desire
* Thinking is the process of asking possibility Qs to take dreams to reality. A simple tool to improve our capacity to enjoy life by asking Qs.
* After every action - take time to ask - How far away we are from our intention? What did we learn? What do we need to differently next to get to our intention?
* How do you feel when you are happy?
* What is your passion? What is your belief?

The Secret - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-06-24T10:09:00.005-04:00

'The Secret' is the book and DVD by Rhonda Byrne on "Law of Attraction" - which was sold by the millions after it was featured on Oprah.

It was sold on Oprah as an easy pill for acheiving whatever one wanted - Dream, Think, Focus on what you want and you get it! Ask. Believe. Receive is the mantra of the 'The Secret'.

Q about "Law of Attraction" is one of the popular Qs on "Ask Stephen" http://www.stephencovey.com/blog/?cat=1

View http://watchtvsitcoms.com/Movies/The%20Secret.php to know more

Oprah infact had to go back on the views aired on her show saying that "Law of Attraction" is one thing that will help achieve success - Hard work, talent, education are important and yes Luck too! How else could we explain the miserable life of those affected by natural disasters? And yes we all know ACTION is what makes everything happen! Action to do whatever we can - to change our situation. Oprah's Mom was a pregnant at thirteen with physical, sexual abuse. Oprah too was pregnant at thirteen. With such a background, it is the actions that Oprah took to change her situation that made the difference.

The 'Law of Attraction", which has been vouched for by many of the self-help gurus like Jack Canfield, John Gray etc, is based on power of visualization - power of our thoughts - we define what we get by our thoughts i.e. if we think about +ve stuff - we will get it - so is true for the -ve stuff - if we focus more on the -ve stuff - we will get it too.

As per the 'Law of Attraction', we should be informed about the -ve stuff but not focus on it as it will happen in our life e.g. focus on peace and not anti-war.

I interpreted the "The Secret" as a tool that every successful person has talked about - power of visualization! About defining and visualizing how success would be everyday. The action part of - visualizing and work towards it is what is missing in 'The Secret'

Miracle Man (Morris Goodman - http://www.articlealley.com/article_164239_51.html) featured in 'The Secret', was introduced to us in one of the training programs to drive the importance of power of visualization. Goodman visualized walking out of the hospital on XMas and worked towards it.

Though I never thought about 'Law of Attraction' or 'Power of Visualization' but some how it worked for me - Feroz is the embodiment of all that I would have wished for in the 'man of my life'. Even the slightest details that I would have mentioned 'that is nice' in my mind! So it did work for me!

Abundance is one other thing that is mentioned i.e. there is enough in the universe for everyone to enjoy - isn't Steven Covey talks to us about working from a frame of abundance to create win-win situations

I could relate to what Jack Canfield mentioned in Alladdin Factor (we discussed this in my earlier post - ASK) - Ask the Universe! 'The Secret' refers to the universe working on putting together stuff for us. Isn't the universe, the creative life force - that we refer to as God too.

Our prayers comprise about praising God and asking for help to acheive our dreams. I never thought about how our prayers also act as tools for 'Power of Visualization'.

In Islam, if I need something badly I would be praying 5+ times a day and each of my supplication (the things I desire - I have to precisely define the details of everything that I desire in my supplications as I don't want to miss on anything - at the same time I would keep it brief too as I don't want to repeat so many times the unimportant details) has to be repeated three times. Imagine picturing success in your mind 15 times a day!

I think all our scriptures, encourage us to ask God for fulfilling our dreams. I am sure most of the prayers do get answered as otherwise so many people wouldn't have been praying! Also all scriptures, talk about Action along with Prayers which is something 'The Secret' clearly missed on.

'The Secret' doesn't talks about how you can make other people's life better. I am told, if we pray for others - the angels say 'and bless you with the same!' - Isn't it an motivation to pray for others!

Recently, I was told to read the second chapter of Quran (Surah-Bakrah) for 40 days as it helps fulfill your wishes. My sis-in-law was checking with me if there is anything specific in Surah-Bakrah relating to fulfilling dreams. I said, it is about all aspects of life except for a few verses which mention "When my servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them). I listen to the prayer of every supplicant when he calls on Me. . .", there is nothing specific to fulfilling our wishes. I think the fact that person would be spending few hours of his day reading the chapter of Quran indicates how badly the person desires something and the universe works on fulfilling the wishes. I visualize the day when my wish would be fulfilled and live as if it has!

Ordinary People - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-06-21T08:36:00.002-04:00

Found the contents of one of the forward mails to be so true. Don't we think so about our dear ones.

Pray, I am reminded of these lines, to be respectful to people I meet on my way, as the person I might be hurting, means "the world" to someone.

My world revolves around Feroz and I pray others too are reminded about these lines as they interact with Feroz!

Ordinary People
Walking on the road, you pass so many people.
Some look confident, purposeful, well-dressed, well-maintained.
But the majority appear so ordinary, wear ill-fitting clothes, unfashionable footwear, have too much fat or too little, nothing remarkable about them, nothing attractive.

But yet someone somewhere eagerly waits for this unimpressive man to come home every evening.
Someone's entire world turns around the strength of this frail-looking woman.
Someone's very purpose in life hinges on this brash youngster cutting through traffic.
Someone knows only the shelter of these old arms each time their world begins to crumble.
Someone will count hours, minutes, and weep like a child when this pock-marked face alights from a long-distance train.

Someone will cave in, crack up, and never be the same again if this one person disappears from the face of the world.

There are no ordinary people… No one…!!!

UPW - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-06-17T15:56:00.017-04:00

Unleash Power Within (UPW) is the title of Anthony Robbins seminars where participants are made to walk on fire. The 'walking on fire' exercise is to demonstrate the kind of incredible things that we can do with the power within us - to use this experience and confidence to make changes in our lives that we would have thought impossible

The 'walking on fire' exercise and NLP got me interested to read more on Anthony Robbins. You would be able to read a lot about it on the net. I have pasted one site
http://www.onehandedblogger.com/2006/06/unleashing_the_.html
While you read or hear his programs - one thing is sure - you will be filled with passion - tapping your feet, singing, ready to fly - ready for action!

My notes are below

Few things that make incredible difference in our lives
* Communication - The quality of our life is the quality of our communication - our self communication and communication with others. What happens to us doesn't makes the difference in the quality of the life but what we do with what happens that makes the difference. Our communication with our selves define what we do with what happens to us.
* Skill - The skill or ability to define specifically what we want and the skill or the ability to define what others want - so we are able to fulfill them quickly and elegantly
* Personal Power - The ability to take action. We should keep trying and not give-up. Like kids learning to walk. Do we tell them not to try walking? Imagine if we would have given up on learning to walk. How much of intelligence or knowledge we have doesn't matters. What we do with that knowledge or intelligence is what matters. Affirmation without discpline creates delusion. Affirmation with discipline creates action.
* Modelling - It is important to remember that talents are developed. A few are born with outstanding talents. Others develop their talents. In modelling, we duplicate the belief system, mental syntax and physiology of successful people to develop our talents
- Duplicating the belief systems of sucessful people. Our beliefs turn-on or shut-off the possibilities for us to perform
- Duplicating mental syntax of sucessful people. This is acheived by changing the order and sequence of using the five senses to generate results. Some people work well when they "See" and "Say" - some people work well when they "Say" and "See". These are like combination locks - Each sequence causing a different vault to open. Using NLP, we can to know mental syntax of sucessful people i.e. when we are visualizing, constructing, accessing etc - the respective eye movements indicate the actions done by the brain. We can study those to understand the mental syntax of sucessful people.
- Duplicating physiology of sucessful people. Physiology is posture, breathing pattern, tonality, facial expressions, muscular tensions etc. Knowing their physiology would help us know how these people use their brain

Disciplines to success
1. Act from personal power - This is the ability to take action. Fear of failure is what prevents people of taking action. There are no failures. There are only outcomes. There are only results. We always succeed in producing results. The results may not be the one we intended but they help us to make subtle changes to get to the intended results.
2. Responsibility - We are totally responsible for our world. We create our world by taking charge of our life. Physical and Mental actions define our world. We need to refer our beliefs as lie as they are our own and to help us remember that they are is just beliefs and not necessarily true and they can change as we get more information. Referreing beliefs as "lies" helps us to give beliefs the necessary attention i.e. knowing that we have the power to change them. This will help us change our self-limiting beliefs
3. Stretching - Most of us perform best when we are put on the line i.e. we work best on deadlines. Stretching helps us to discover things that we didn't believe we could do - the limits are our beliefs (lie) and defined by our thinking. Stretching can be achieved by
- Making a commitment to ourselves to do something that is beyond our current ability.
- Making a public commitment.
- Modelling someone who is always producing beyond our current ability.
4. Committing to unconcious competency rather than cognitive understanding. Unconcious competency is the ability to perform tasks without thinking or knowing its working or details e.g. Most of us don't understand how electricity works still we switch on without thinking about the working of electricity. This is about picking the fruits for the immediate and studying the roots later. Similarly, We don't have to spend time to understand how NLP works - we can start using the the techniques
5. Meaning of communication is the response you get from others. We would have to change our approach to match physiology, tonality of the person we are trying to communicate. As the intention of the communication means nothing, results of the communication means everything
6. WEIT - Do "What Ever It Takes" to succeed

Character traits of successful people have in common
1. Passion - They have passion, purpose which makes them to get up in morning and not to go to bed. Passion causes action
2. Belief - They have belief in their ability to achieve and they also know that beliefs can be changed
3. Strategy - They organize the way they do things to acheive results
4. Values - They knowing what values are most important in life. Also to ensure that avoid conflicting values i.e. all values are working together rather than fighting against each other
5. Energy Level - They have high energy levels. Most of the energy is spent in digestion. Check your diet, exercise to manage energy levels
6. Bonding - stay connected with others
7. Developing communication skills - how we communicate with self and others on what has happened is what makes the difference

I note down ideas such as those mentioned below to talk with Feroz, in the hope that they would add to the strong communication that he relies on in his training programs - my little contribution!
Miscellaneous ideas
- Success is having total sense of freedom - to do what we want, when we want as much as we want
- For things to change - we would have to change - changing the employer is not going to solve the problem unless we changed
- Commitment is the glue that holds everything together. Commitment to practice. Commitment to walk the talk.
- Difference in people is the difference in people who are commited and who are interested. We need to move from interest to commitment
- If we don't know what to do - then we need to ask - what we would do if we didn't know what to do. This takes out the limiting beliefs to access the resources that we don't utilize
- No matter how thin the slice there are two sides
- The quality of life is the quality of our communication
- Nothing has any meaning except the meaning we give it - Meaning of life, happiness etc is what we define
- We use two types of communication
* Internal communication-how we picture, say, and feel within ourselves
* External communication-words, tonalities, facial expressions, body postures and physical actions
- Our job is similar to a film director's job-we need to manipulate what we see and hear (the way you communicate to yourself) to acheive the effect we desire

Came across the below gems (as the post refers to them) http://kerijam.blogspot.com/2007/11/some-gems-from-tony-robbins-unleash.html

*Whatever you focus on, you will feel
*When you say something repeatedly, you hypnotize yourself into believing that it is true and the brain creates a blindspot, where you can't see what is actually there
*Listen and learn as if you were going to teach what you learned to someone else
*To say you don't have a special purpose is to slap the face of your Creator
*Most people are unhappy because they are dabblers; going deep makes us feel alive
*We are the accumulation of our communication
*God's delays are not God's denials
*Fear is your imagination and so is faith;except fear is undirected, while faith is directed
*Success leaves clues - model someone outstanding
*Pain is a signal to change the strategy
*Normal is the lowest common denominator in a culture
*What got you where you are, won't get you to the next level (the highest level)
*All progress comes from breaking patterns
*Change is never a matter of ability, it is always a matter of motivation
*Who you spend time with is who you become
*People's lives are a direct reflection of the expectations of their peer group
*Find a team to challenge you, not just support you

Employees are Employees, Not Friends - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-06-14T10:22:00.003-04:00

I had promised about posting this in an earlier post while talking about it in "What is our Brand" post

Their is one more aspect about personal branding that would need a separate post in itself and it is about team relationships. All the training programs that we attend talk about having fun with the team, being one with them and having no barriers with team members. Feroz would talks to me against it. He believes it is important to ensure the manager relationship doesn't deteriotes. I would argue with Feroz on this till I read article by Marc Crammer (Wharton Professor) who writes weekly in Bulletin (philadelphia newspaper). Does familiarity with Feroz (refer once again the parent v/s child post) gets in the way of me accepting Feroz's ideas without arguing while readily accepting the ones posted on the net!!

Feroz thoughts on Employee/Manager relationships are more in the light of the thoughts mentioned in "Parent v/s Child" post about building perspective - "We wouldn't expect a client or fellow-worker to respect our opinion if we presented it in our nightgown" - to be impersonal - to retain the respect!

Below is Marc's post on Employee Relationship
http://www.thebulletin.us/site/news.cfm?newsid=18864595&BRD=2737&PAG=461&dept_id=577676&rfi=6

All too often the line between an employee and employer or a manager and a subordinate can become blurred. For many people, there is no controlling the heart when they allow their emotions to hijack their good sense. Yet it is hard for people in the working world not to seek friendships in the workplace because we all spend more time at the office than we do with family and friends outside the office.
Over the first 10 years I was in business, I have stepped over the line between boss and employee numerous times, only to regret it. Here are 10 areas I have learned to avoid so as not to cross the line.
1. Birthday parties: I have been invited to employee birthday parties and weddings. I politely decline and send a gift.
2. Sporting events: The only times I go with employees to games is if we are buying group tickets as a way to reward employees or we are taking out clients.
3. Dinner: I will have lunch with an employee to discuss a business matter, but I won't have lunch just to socialize. I never do dinner unless it is with a client or prospective client.
4. Personal problems: I am not a social worker and I am not their parents. A big problem with handling personal problems is that you become too involved. The employee calls your home and shows up late, thinking you will understand. Eventually, other employees resent your preferential treatment with no appreciation for the good deed you are trying to do.
5. Sports activities: Golfing, jogging, tennis and biking are very personal activities. Bonds are developed. Personal thoughts and problems are shared.
6. Loaning money: I once loaned money to a janitor who worked for me, a good guy who was down on his luck. Unfortunately, he thought I was his personal piggy bank.
7. Driving together: A client of mine gave one of her employees a ride for one month because their car was in an accident. The employee got so used to being picked up that when my client couldn't pick up the employee, she got upset. My client should have suggested the employee rent a car or get a friend, relative or fellow employee to drive them.
8. Gifts: Never give a personal gift. It's one thing to give a book related to business; it's another to give a personal gift.
9. Drinking: Going to a bar for a drink after a hard day is a very bad idea. People sometimes lose their professional demeanor.
10. Vacationing: I have actually had a business associate tell me he went on a vacation with an employee because they had grown so close. A couple of years went by and the employee started a competing business and used what he knew about his employer/friend to go into business. Eventually the employee put the employer out of the business.
You can be friendly, share a joke and talk about how the local sports teams are doing, but keep it light and impersonal, or there could be consequences.

Intuition - Azara Feroz Sayed

2008-06-11T11:54:00.009-04:00

Came across the below article on the need for flexing our sixth sense

Rumi's words from earlier post
Love is the ark appointed for the righteous,
Which annuls the danger and provides a way of escape.
Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.
Cleverness is mere opinion, bewilderment intuition

The dictionary definition of intution is "quick and ready insight;" and "the act or process of coming to direct knowledge without reasoning or inferring." It is derived from the Latin word "intueri" which means "to see within." It is a way of knowing, of sensing the truth without explanations

Listening to our intuition is the essence of art and creativity and soulful living. Intuition is what we use to find the purpose of our life and our place in the world. Even Einstein said that most of his innovation was actually just good guessing. A talent is something that some people are born with while others have to work at it. The greatest artists usually study and imitate the techniques of the ones who came before them. In fact a museum had exactly that as its original purpose. It was intended as a place to learn techniques, inspiration, and intuition.

The below article was the motivation for this post
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Lifestyle/Spirituality/Mind_over_Matter/Mind_Set_Go_by_your_intuition/articleshow/3052636.cms

As we go through the decisions that we make in your daily life how much do we rely on our intuition? Do we feel focused and strong in the choices that we make? Or do we feel that we have to deliberate, analyse, weigh out pros and cons, get lots of opinions from friends or family and scare yourself into a decision?

We all have had our rounds of confusion and analysis paralysis. The one conclusion is that logic alone does not work. And the answer is to learn how to use a tool that we were actually born with. That tool is our intuition!

We hear the words ‘surrender’, ‘trust’ and ‘let go’ all the time. But what does that really mean? And what are we surrendering to? Our logic tells us this is dangerous. So our best attempts to let go last a few minutes and then we are back to trying to figure it all out!

Our intuition is comprised of the energetic senses that we were born with to assist us in staying connected to our higher or inner self. We can refer to that self as a number of names, Divine Guidance, God, The Universe, Spirit etc. We are always connected to that power greater than our physical selves and that connection is our intuition.

So here are five key points to consider that will hopefully help us get a better handle on the most powerful sense that we have.
1. Our intuition is our direct and absolute link to communication with our spirit.
2. Our intuitive senses lay over our physical senses. We get energetic or intuitive feelings through energetic sight (like deja vu), energetic hearing (we hear a small voice that gives us a warning or feels like a hunch to follow), energetic feeling (a gut feeling in your stomach that feels like butterflies or goose bumps) and energetic knowing (feeling like we just know how to do something or how a situation will turn out without learning or cause).
3. Everyone is born with intuition and has the ability to develop it to be strong and reliable.
4. Intuition is always the most efficient and accurate advice that we can get about any issue, concern or desire.
5. Our society encourages us to ignore our intuition and focus strictly on logic. We disengage from our energetic senses and end up feeling very confused, anxious and taking a very long slow road to happiness. Our intuition is always working whether we focus on it or not! When we harness the power of our intuition we are able to fully access our personal power. Not using our intuition is like having eyes and ears and ignoring or fighting their functions. Our eyes and ears are on our head and whether we are concentrating on using them or not they are always working. They become very powerful tools when we deliberately focus our sight or hearing! Think of how hard it would be to watch a wonderful movie or listen to a beautiful symphony without our ears or eyes! Unwavering trust begins with knowing our intuition and how to use it!

Real trust comes from having a direct communication with Spirit yourself through understanding, recognising and knowing how to use and rely on our intuition!

We need to take responsibility for ourselves and use our intuition in combination with creative problem solving tools like logic to decide what to do next. When we ignore our intuition we feel anxious, confused and uneasy. We may feel intellectually that it is the right decision but something still doesn't feel certain.

When we use our intuition it may seem illogical but our decision feels right. It feels like a sense of knowing or certainty that we may not be able to describe. And our actions feel inspired. We feel led as opposed to running after an outcome. We feel guided to take inspired action and our hunch feels like a knowing instead of a reckless risk. It’s time to empower ourself by harnessing our own intuition! When we take the time to learn about, understand and tap into our intuition, we will find that your decisions and actions are so much easier to make!

We will live so much more powerfully and efficiently. Our tasks will be done in a fraction of the time because we will be working from certainty instead of fear! We may consider the opinions of others for a perspective but we will know that our intuition has the final say! Too many bits of information can in fact confuse the mind and lead to wrong decisions. As Hamlet said, "For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so." The trick is to be able to zero in on the one bit of information that matters the most.

http://healing.about.com/cs/selfactualization/ht/How_intuition.htm
Maybe we feel listening to your intuition is easier said than done. But the truth is that most of us make listening to our inner guidance out to be harder than it actually is.

Here are some simples ways we can tune into our inner dialogs. Using our sixth sense is just like working a muscle. It will get stronger the more we use it.
1. Turn off that car radio. Giving our physical hearing a rest can expand your inner ear.
2. At home, turn off the computer, the television, and the stereo. Spend a half hour or so in quiet meditation or solace.
3. Spend some quiet time alone in nature.
4. Pay attention to energy shifts in your physical body. Pain is telling you something is wrong.
5. Keep a dream journal.
6. Take moments in each day to clear mind of distractions. Visualizing a chalkboard being erased often helps with this exercise.
7. On way home tune in to see if you can "guess" how many pieces of mail are waiting for you in your mailbox. Isn't it amazing how accurate we are at this over time.
8. Keep a synchronicity notebook to write down all so called "coincidences."
9. Follow hunches. Prepare to be amazed where they lead.
10.Notice scents around. What emotions or memories do they stir up?
11.Start noticing "markers" or "signs" that bring about particular sensations in the gut
By following through on our everyday hunches, we are actually taking test drives, virtually honing in on our listening skills. Learning to listen to our inner dialog tones and strengthens this muscle. The more we use our intuition the better we get at it. When we choose to ignore our gut instincts, we are only hurting ourselves.