You've only got one life to live....make it count

Goodbye, so long and thanks for all the fish...

2006-07-06T11:00:00.000-05:00

The dynamics of this have changed.

It's no longer what it once was.

It's time to say goodbye.

Take care of you and those you love.

I've had a good time but it's time for me to go.

Peace. Out.

italian training camp

2006-07-05T12:26:00.000-05:00


Should have gotten McBride in on this training camp, maybe then he wouldn't have gotten his nose busted.

2006-07-03T09:24:00.000-05:00

You Are 72% Lady

Overall, you are a refined lady with excellent manners.
But you also know when to relax and not get too serious about etiquette

Are You A Lady?

OOOOooooo........lookit tha purdy colors...

2006-07-01T10:28:00.000-05:00

Don't know how I did it, but somehow I sprained my foot. I finally broke down and went to the ER to find out why my foot was hurting so badly. Yeah, some sort of stupid human trick I did when I wasn't looking.

Damn I'm so freakin smart. NOT!!

So I've learned something here....

Plus Equals

Should know more about what's going on next week.

Till then, send chocolate or some reasonable facsimile thereof!

No regrets or sad goodbyes...

2006-06-24T07:18:00.000-05:00

It seems that some people steamroll their way into your life, while others tiptoe quietly about it, either briefly or for years on end.

In this case there are two that did both, however for only a short time, for that time I am grateful. As you may or may not remember I told you about Mrs. B at work. While the doctor thought her fall and breaking of her hip would be her undoing, at 103 she was as stubborn as she was old. She did make it back to the facility. For that I am grateful, she proved the doctors wrong. However, in the end, her age and tired body finally gave in to the pain that had eventually taken over her life since her fall. She passed away quietly in the night just a few short hours ago.

Thinking of her now, with a tear streaming down my face, I can't help but smile. Yes, she is the one that just steamrolled her way through my life, however briefly. I'm glad to have had the honor of caring for her and being able to say that I was her nurse. She taught me alot about what it means to be a nurse and to be human. More importantly, how to be humane. For that she'll never be forgotten. I can honestly say now that I'm happy for her she's gone, she's in a place now free of pain and my last hours with her were spent comforting her and giving her the best care I could. To that end, I have no regrets. As well, I can only pray that she's happy, healthy and whole.

As for those that tiptoe about...

I remember what it was like being an aide. The work back breaking and never quite feeling like you were appreciated. Either by the administration, nurses or patients. As a nurse now, I make it a point to thank "my girls" as I refer to them and let them know that I recognize the hard work they do and how much I appreciate them. I never want to be that nurse that I resented who never took notice of the work I did.

When I very first started, one of the aides that I first learned her name was Jameila, I could always remember because she had it tattooed on the side of her neck in pretty script. She preferred to be called Jamie, but I could rarely remember that because I always looked to her permanent name tag as a reminder of what her name was. God I suck when it comes to remembering things...anyways...She always showed up for work when she was supposed to, being a single mom of three adorable children that she lived her life for, she relied on that income. She lived and loved her kids to the fullest. She was always quiet, going about providing some of the kindest care that I've ever had the pleasure of seeing. I didn't get to know her unfortunately, yet I always made it a point to let her know how much it was I appreciated what she did. She always softly laughed and thanked me. I'm so grateful now that I made it my policy to do so.

Wednesday night it was discovered that she and her three beautiful children had been brutally murdered in their home. Now she's gone forever and I mourn for the loss. Only because I never got to know her better. She kept her distance as it turns out from pretty much everyone, preferring to just do her job and go home to her kids. If there could be a silver lining to this dark cloud it's that she at least will be forever with her children and her children with her. If you're interested you can read more about the story here and here and here. All I ask is that you take a minute and read about them, this quiet and unasuming family that loved and lived quietly.

Remember that tragedy can strike at any time.

Live so that you have no regrets or sad goodbyes, that way when you cry for the person lost, it will be for the person and not for the things you should have done.

This just in...

2006-06-20T12:24:00.000-05:00

Donald Rumsfeld briefed the President this morning. He told Bush that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq.

To everyone's amazement, all of the color ran from Bush's face and he collapsed onto his desk, head in hands, visibly shaken, almost whimpering.

Finally, he composed himself and asked Rumsfeld, "Just exactly how many is a brazillion?"

2,996...

2006-06-17T16:06:00.000-05:00

Please if you can, join me in celebrating a worthwhile cause...

2,996

"What is this number you keep referring to?" You may be asking your computer screen. Well, the best way to understand it is to go here.

Jen, a wonderful blogger friend of mine is involved and due to how 9/11 has affected me and my personal life, I decided I wanted to partake in this as well.

No better fitting a tribute than to celebrate those loved and lost in my opinion.

Should you wish to do so as well, just follow the directions at the end of the post and I look forward to seeing you on 11 September 2006.

In light of my recent birthday...

2006-06-14T16:23:00.000-05:00

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP

1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. (damn!)

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. (Wanna bet??)

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.

4. 6:00 a.m. Is when you get up, not when you go to bed. (No, I go to bed at 8a.m. thank you)

5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.

6. You watch the Weather Channel.

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."

10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. (Yes I do...5a.m.!)

13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers. (I feed my cat White Castles thank you!)

15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. (My couch is the energy sucking force behind why my mom never gets off of it!)

16. You take naps. (I have to or else, yanno cuz of work. Although I do know of some who take old man naps...*snicker*)

17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.

18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.

19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests. (I go to the gas station, then once those are lost I go to the GROCERY store for condoms thank you!...OMG I think I may be getting old)

20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit." (Hell I can't buy a pint of Guinness for that!)

21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time. (Even if I am about to head off to bed at 8a.m.)

22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."

23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work. (That's my story and I'm sticking to it!)

24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar. (Damn skippy, you seen those prices?!?)

25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit what the hell happened?"

Bonus:

26. You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass.

Actually I found a few, but then again given that I work 3rd shift, that might be the reason *cough*........A special thanks to my Aunt for sending me this list.....now I've 3 months to think of a way to get even....*wicked cackle*

Talk about heebeegeebee's...

2006-06-06T09:12:00.000-05:00

I tried killng a spider just a few minutes ago.

I wasn't sucessful.

It came back.

With one leg broken and just dangling there.

I think it's out to get me now (anyone can ask my one brother, Kenny, how terrified of spiders I am).

Hellllllpppppppp~~~~shit!!!!!! As I was typing this the feker did in fact come back!

Instead of grabbing just one shoe like I did the first time I grabbed two!

I'm gonna kill this sucker if it's the last thing I do!

The chase is on......

10 Minutes never felt more like an eternity...~Update 2~

2006-06-06T05:10:00.000-05:00

Well I am happy to report that Mrs. B is back!

She survived her hip surgery and has come back to my facility, however she's not on my unit just yet. I was talking with the unit clerk who said she's not looking well and is on heavy duty pain killers. Given her age, I say give the woman what she needs to be comfortable, but hey that's just me.

At 103 (almost 104, in August) I just hope that I'm just as fiesty and lionhearted at half her age, let alone live to see her age.

I'm just happy that she proved the Doctor wrong.

Her fall wasn't her undoing.

Oy!

2006-06-04T16:48:00.000-05:00

The insistent ringing finally pierces through my sleep only to have me fumbling looking about for the phone in a stupor, you know the kind, where you're half awake and half asleep.

"Hello?" I asked sleepily at 8 a.m. on a Sunday morning. "You've got to get up and come and get me at the ER" says my mum rather urgently, or would I say frantically? Either way, however she says what she does it wakes me completely. "The ER??" I ask now not just awake but confused as to why my mum would be in the ER and why so early on a Sunday no less. "I was stabbed" is my mum's reply. Now being the fatalist that I am, I've gone from being confused to being panicked. "I'll explain when you get here" she says, "No you'll feking explain now" I replied just this side of furious. My mum and I have never gotten along by any stretch of the imagination. Afterall, she is my mum, having said that, I can rant about her but damn if anyone else hurts her!

Throwing back the covers and getting hastily dressed and being forever grateful that we literally only live a stone's throw from the nearest hospital (literally it takes all of 5 minutes to walk to the entrance to the ER), I arrive to find that indeed she had been stabbed. Once in the thigh and my running down the street to get to the hospital required me to walk back to my flat to retrieve my car as my mother cannot walk.

So on the 2 minute ride home, she explains to me how it is she came to be stabbed.

"Well you see, I had this huge cake of soap from Pier 1 Imports and you know how expensive they can be, and well it was a HUGE cake of soap so I got this idea (I hear a groan forming in the back of my throat) to take a knife and cut it in half"...it was at this point I had to interrupt her to ask...."YOU stabbed yourself??"...at least she had the decency to blush.."Yes, but let me finish, it wasn't like it was on purpose or anything"...Knowing how I am and how I like to figure things out I let her go on..."Anyways, like I was saying I got a knife and realized that a regular steak knife wouldn't do, so I went back into the kitchen and got a butcher knife" (can you possibly see where this is leading?)"And then went back into the bathroom and put the soap on my leg and jabbed the knife into it" Knowing that some surfers use soap to wax their surf boards so that it repels water I can only imagine how fast the knife went through the soap...then it was at this point where I slepped myself in the forehead, when I should have slapped her instead. She goes on to say "I got myself to the ER and explained what happened and they stitched me up. (I wish I could remember how many stitches it took both inside and out, but this happened a few years ago and I can't recall except to say it was in the double digits) The doctor took one look at me and saw where the knife blade went into my leg 3 inches and it didn't even hit muscle let alone bone" Mom says with some sort of sick and twisted pride. The doctor asks mom "You don't exercise much do you?"

Her response?........*giggling* "No, how'd you guess?"

Say it with me........."OY!"

10 Minutes never felt more like an eternity...~Update 1~

2006-05-31T08:36:00.000-05:00

As I know it to be, Mrs. B is in stable condition. Yet she's not been to surgery for the repair to her hip.

As well, something I found out...

Mrs. B has this thing........call it a proclivity or what you will.....Mrs. B hates having roommates. For whatever the reason they piss her off. Found out that the reason behind her fall this past weekend was due to the fact that she was toddling off to the other side of the room to her roommates' side to turn off the roommates' over bed light. One might believe that to be a generous and selfless act of a 103 year old woman to look after her roommate that way. I can assure you....it's not.

Mrs. B wants things to be a certain way and if it's not that way........she'll make it that way, come hell or high water. She doesn't like bright light or loud noise. So she was taking care of the bright light issue. I just found out about the loud noise (which surprised me cuz she's so damn hard of hearing) because one of her daytime aides suspected that Mrs. B didn't actually fall, however was possibly pushed by her roommate out of self defense. You see...Mrs. B has a history. Five years ago this same aide walked in and found Mrs. B with a pillow over her hospice roommates' head trying to smother her because the roommate was making to much noise.

So I guess.......take a deep breath, I realize you've just put 2 and 2 together and came up with the fact that had Mrs. B been successful, she probably would have been the oldest female (98 at the time) to stand trail for murder.....it's possible that anything could happen, we weren't in the room, so we truly don't know what made her fall.

Despite this new information and how she first treated me.......I gotta give the lady some credit, to survive this long.....give her what she wants! Some peace and freakin quiet!

She's earned it!

10 Minutes never felt more like an eternity...

2006-05-30T00:29:00.000-05:00

On my first day of work, during my first med pass as a new nurse I met Mrs. B. I was training and had never passed meds before. The nurse training me had 35 years experience and her motto was to throw me into the mix figuring there was no better way to learn but to do what needed to be done.

I learned that night how to treat brand new nurses, as well as how to not treat them.

Now that I'm a bit more "seasoned" it takes me about 5 to 5 1/2 hours to get all 47 residents their respective meds. That first night however, it took me 6 hours to pass meds to about half that amount. Needless to say I've improved by leaps and bounds in that time....either out of a need to survive or just plain stubborness. Take your pick.

Needless to say, Mrs. B who is 103 years old is used to getting her meds at a certain time each night and if they aren't passed to her in a timely manner, she WILL hunt you down and let you know that you're late.

My first vision of Mrs. B was of this short, slightly rotund little old lady, barefooted hobbling her way down the hall. Walker in hand, she trundled down the hall to where I was. In one of the oldest and highest pitched shakey voices, I get a verbal berating that would curl your hair. All the while shaking her walker at me as if she was going to club me like a baby seal, she lets me know that I'm late with her meds and she wants them right this instant.

Hellooooooooo Mrs. B!!

Only takes one time for that sort of scene to happen for me to learn my lesson and learn it quick-like.

As time has progressed I've actually gotten her her meds early and she's ever grateful and lets me know how much she appreciates the fact that I get her her meds early. All I can think is........"Do I have dumbass written on my forehead?"

This Saturday past, I heard an aide frantically cry out for help. It was Mrs. B. She was on the floor, right hip outwardly rotated, all twisted up and crying out in pain. Yeah, you guessed it. She fell and broke her hip and fractured we don't know how many ribs. With her weight and the pain she was in, despite the heavy meds she's on that I had given her about 2 hours earlier (we're talking meds in the amount that could drop a horse....at 103, I honestly think that's how she manages through the day), there was no way in hell I was going to get her off the floor. Even if I had the ability and all the aides in the place to help, she just wouldn't be able to bear weight. So I had one of the aides grab a nursing supervisor and with her help and the unit clerk processing all the paper work on my behalf, I laid on the floor (yes in my whites even.......*gags*) along side Mrs. B, trying to comfort as best I could. I knew that EMT's were en route and would be there to take over in 10 minutes, it was the longest 10 minutes that I can ever remember spending in my life.

There is just something heart wrenching about hearing a 103 year old lady whimper and cry out in pain. After the EMT's had gone I spoke with her doctor and the first thing out of his mouth was "Well, we probably won't be seeing her again". Yes, I chastised him and told him not to say that, however he did remind me of her age and she would have trouble surviving surgery and even if she did survive, she may not be the same.

I think I'd rather have her chase me with her walker to beat the hell outta me than the alternative.

Didn't expect to take this so personally.....

I say be careful who you mess with...

2006-05-24T10:00:00.000-05:00

Watch Video Clip

Ohhh, here we go again...

2006-05-19T05:49:00.000-05:00

Wondering what's been up?

Well...

Believe it or not (God knows I'm finding it difficult to believe) I'm back in school. Going to finish up and get my RN. Yanno, be a "Real Nurse" . Pardon the dripping sarcasm there. People who make the distinction that LPN's aren't real nurses have no concept what a nurse does, let alone an LPN.

So to alleviate anymore confusion, I've decided to finish up and get my RN because there are more opportunities for me as an RN than there are as an LPN. While being an LPN is a good start, the only job I'd be able to do is working in nursing homes, which is fine. For some. Just not me. It's valuable experience, don't get me wrong and it will pay for my schooling (the wages I earn from the job, even though the facility will pay my tuition, I'd rather not so I can leave when I'm done and not work for them any longer than I have to).....I want to work in the Emergency Room/Department (depends on where you live as to what they call it.), I'd also like to do so many other things because I'm interested in so many different aspects of nursing. It's just to do most any of them requires me to have a bit more education.

So.......

Here we go again!

Why I love my job, reason #192...

2006-05-18T16:51:00.000-05:00

As many of you know, I currently am working in a nursing home. One of my favorite residents is this one old man, to protect his privacy I'll call him Mr. Roberts.

One day last weekend, Saturday I'm thinking, he appeared to be very sad and depressed. I asked him if there was anything wrong.

"Yes, Nurse Shannon," ( I love it when I get called that) said Mr. Roberts, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad."

Knowing how patients are forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, the only thing I could think to say was, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Roberts, please accept my condolences."

The following day, Mr. Roberts, was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out his pajamas, when I met up with him during my med pass.

"Mr. Roberts," I said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas."

"But, Nurse Shannon!," replied Mr. Roberts, "I told you yesterday that my Private Part died."

"Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?"

(Make sure you're sitting down, you're gonna love this!!!!)

"Well," he replied, "Today's the viewing."

What do I do? ~Update 2~

2006-05-18T02:08:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been 2 weeks now since I sent out the note to my friend.

One good thing I can say is that it wasn't returned.

The bad thing....

I've lost a friend.

I suppose I knew this all along, before I sent the note, I was able to deal with the loss. I think my thoughts at the time on it were "what could it hurt to send out a note to try and rekindle that friendship"....now my thoughts are "Why?" & "What?".

Why couldn't I leave well enough alone?
Why did it end the way it did?
What did I do wrong?
What could I have done differently?
What happened.

Prior to all this, these questions were at the back of my mind, but I could live with them there, now they're at the fore front and leave me to ponder how things went, reviewing that friendship and seeing where I could have been a better friend. Making sure that any errors I made in that friendship with him, I don't dare repeat in other friendships with my current friends.

I'd just like to take this time to say, thank you one and all for your advice in this matter. For those of you who thought it wasn't a good idea.....you're right, it probably wasn't. But I just had to know one way or another. For those of you who think that he's a knob for being such a putz...lol...thank you as well.

I've always said, God puts you where you need to be. I've just been shown that you've been put here to show me what true friendship means.

For that, I thank you.

What do I do? ~Update 1~

2006-05-05T08:10:00.000-05:00

I've listened to a lot of my friends give their say and I've taken it all into consideration. Some of the advice I've been given you'll find in the comments section of the previous post. Thanks to one an all that posted, thanks to those who I talked to about it. All of you have been generous with your time in this matter.

While I agree with the advice of letting it go because he has, I'm half irish and half scot, which to anyone who knows me means..........I'm too freakin stubborn to let it go....well...to a point.

While spending a few bucks to find out if it's him or not is probably wise, no one ever accused me of being that, lol.

I also agree that sending flowers is a bit over the top for trying to reestablishing a tentative connection.

I agree that while direct confrontation is not exactly what I had in mind (I'm not looking to pick a fight, I just want to say hi to someone I miss), going and knocking on his door probably isn't a keen idea either. Yanno, trespassing and "How the hell did you find me" questions would abound (as if they won't to begin with). So as an option, I'm thinking that one is out.

What I did decide to do was...

Write a note, I kept it light. Neutral and nothing accusatory. I said in the note that I'd love to hear from him, that would be great if I did, however if I didn't I would understand that too. I didn't get too personal in the note just in case it wasn't him (which I am about like Ivory on this one....99.97% sure...erm I mean pure), and if it happened that the public records I came across are in fact his but maybe a renter lives in the house, they could pass it along......or not.

I decided that I had to at least give it a try. I put the card in the mail with no expectations. I think the satisfaction of at least trying at this point is enough. If I hear from him then great, if I don't, well that's okay too.

In any case, no one can't say that I've not tried. I'll let you know what happens from here. Thanks for all your input and editorial comments.

*chuckling still at ass potato*

What do I do?

2006-05-04T02:35:00.000-05:00

I need your advise out there.

There is a friend, a very dear friend, who after 20 + years of friendship, stopped returning my calls. He'd met his partner and they'd settled blissfully into coupledom as your best mates are apt to do. I'd call and leave messages, yet it seemed that he never got them. Then one day I called and the number had been disconnected.

Let me just say at this point, that this is not just any old friend. This was a person with whom I grew up, partied and played with, when it came time for me to get married, he even gave me away. After a time I chalked it up to another friendship lost. I've not gone anywhere in the time we've been apart. Granted I've grown emotionally and spiritually in that time, not to mention I've made huge life changes. Prior, when we were close, I shared all that with him.

He was like a brother to me.

He's been on my mind off and on quite a bit lately. I've been wondering how exactly I go about trying to find him. Finally it struck me at 3:15 a.m. (yes I'd been tossing and turning unable to sleep for a while) how I might be able to find him if he was still living in my area. I lept out of bed, dashed to my computer and lo and behold, I think I found him.

Now what? There's no phone number listing, only his address. I can't even be sure it's him due to the fact that his name is rather generic and I don't remember his partners' name. Then that leads me to my next dilema, if he stopped all contact with me, should I try to contact him, will I get rebuffed?

I'd thought of sending a note, ask any of my friends, I'm good for sending a card or a note just because. I'd thought of sending him flowers, just because I can. Yet I find myself wondering why it is he broke off contact and would my efforts just be ignored?

What's your thoughts? What should I do? Should I attempt contact or just let it go? I'm not looking for the why's of what caused our friendship to lapse. I just want my friend back. I miss him and he doesn't even know it.

Leave a comment and help me out here. Don't worry I'll keep you up to date at to how and/or what it is I decide to do and what the end result ends up being. I'd also like to hear from the lurkers too (you know who you are), everyone's opinion means alot to me on this one.

How do you say "Oh $hit" in french?

2006-05-02T13:47:00.000-05:00

I'm trying to get things sorted for my best friends' wedding. Yanno making reservations and the like.

She recommended one place, so I call, luckily the front desk lady is bilingual. Great! No problem! We talk and have a nice chat. However she's limited in what she has available. Ok, I can deal with that, except for the fact that the room we need (and the one she has available) will not accomodate our party.

Shit.

So now I'm calling to make reservations for the night of the wedding, having gotten discouraged by my previous call, I decided to jump ahead and try to get a handle on at least that night of the two night event. I was fully expecting to stumble and mumble over what little french I do have at my disposal. That being my biggest concern really of this whole thing. Well lo and behold, they speak english too!! Woohoo! I get those arrangements made.

Now I'm back to square one. The first night of our stay. I'm trying to keep things cost effective for all involved, so I call Monette and we start to brain storm. She finds a place near her house that meets our needs, double beds (big enough) and in the right price range (cheap enough), so I call to make the reservation.

{insert the sound of squealing tires and slamming breaks}

This old lady answers the phone in an old french accent. She sounds so old that if she farted she'd fart croissant dust! As fast as she's rattling on, I grasp very quickly and accurately, she's in the hospitality industry and is only solo-lingual.

I. am. screwed.

I asked if she spoke english, no was her reply. Does she have anyone there that does? No again. Then she proceeds to rattle off to me that some other hotel nearby does have bilingual staff. Well that does me a fat lot of good now don't it? I thank her and proceed to call Monette in a panic. "Will you please call this dusty old lady?".......Monette laughing agrees.

"My girlfriend called and doesn't speak a word of french" Monette tells the lady.....the lady in reply tells Monette, "I don't speak a word of english!"....I correct Monette that I speak a word, even two or three of french.

I just don't speak it well!

Long story short, I got the hotels booked and sorted and pretty much everything taken care of. Now all we gotta do is get there and get that girl married before her soon to be finds out what he's gotten himself into and starts packing!

lol, with friends (and her sisters) like me, she doesn't stand a chance at sanity!

Just a little funny on a Monday...

2006-05-01T12:37:00.000-05:00

As You Slide Down The Banister Of Life, Remember.........

1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People." *snicker*

2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary. or RuPaul...damn, looks good as both a man AND a woman!

3. The difference between the Pope and your boss...the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. While your boss wants you to kiss his...

4. My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone. *POOF*

5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. That's the god's honest truth!

6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood. Yeah but I had popcorn stuck in places to be saved for later!

7. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too. Thank you eBay!

8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house. I'm lucky, I can't say that.

9. My next house will have no kitchen - just vending machines and a large trash can. No muss, no fuss! Can't beat that with a stick!!

10. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid." I just can't fight that logic

11. I'm so depressed. My doctor refused to write me a prescription for Viagra. He said it would be like putting a new flagpole on a condemned building. Or in my case IN a condemned building

12. My neighbor was bit by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be treated, and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite." Can I add a few to that list?

13 Definition of a teenager? God's punishment for enjoying sex. From what I hear, that's not far from the truth

14. As we slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. Amen!!

The store, it has been found!

2006-04-29T06:51:00.000-05:00

Thanks to my friend Moonie, we now know where to go to make that much needed purchase!

Just a thought...

2006-04-27T14:17:00.000-05:00

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things like...You know, sometimes I forget to eat!...Now...I've forgotten my address, how to spell my name properly, my mother's maiden name, my keys even. But I have never forgotten to eat........Really, you have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat!!

Just a thought.

Bored? Need to kill a few minutes?

2006-04-21T07:24:00.000-05:00

Go here and take this quiz (it'll take all of 3 minutes), leave your results in the comments section.

Has anyone else noticed...

2006-04-19T10:21:00.000-05:00

How it is that celebrities make a basic biological function and something that women have been doing since the dawn of man, look like a full out production to include hair, wardrobe and makeup?

Yesterday, TomKat had their baby girl. I've heard along the way that the former Mrs. Cruise (whom I like much better now that she is sans Tom) is pregnant. Leaves one to wonder doesn't it? When those two were married, they each were blaming the other for the lack of conception, yet the minute they split up, they BOTH end up pregnant.......I find that to be interesting...makes you wonder, who actually used infertility treatments?........But I should hush up because if TomKat were to find my blog of my own opinion, well, we just can't have that, I might get sued! This coming from the man who is coo-coo for coco puffs. To think I had a crush on that nut when I was a teen. Glad I got over it!

So right now I'm seeing a slew of celebrities who are pregnant.....Gwen Stefani (thank god! Now I'll love to see what a baby and gravity do to those abs!!....Not that I'm bitter mind ya, just flat out evil) Gwenyth just had her baby (more on that in a minute), Angelina Jolie...(my celebrity crush) is about to explode any minute, Brittany Spears........should have invested in that birth control that they put in your arm that lasts 5 years......no need for more white trash to be spilling forth their seed (Not to mention "K-Fed" is a waste of human flesh who does nothing more than make his way on his wifes' name....There is no accounting for taste is there Brit?) ! I could go on with a running commentary but I won't.

Although I have a final thought on celebrities and their kids.

The names they give them!! I'm sorry folks, but most of these people won't be celebrities when their kids are grown and having kids of their own. Why in the hell would Gwenyth Paltrow name her kid Apple!??! Does she own stock in the company!??! Then to turn around and name Paltrow number 2 MOSES?!?! Is she expecting him to part the Red Sea!? TomKat name their evil spawn Suri??? I'm thinking that there are a few letters missing from there.

Now don't get me wrong, I believe that everyone should be unique and individual. However when you are purposefully opening your kid up to public ridcule because they have a jacked up name....all I can say is DON'T!!! Kids are cruel enough as it is. Doesn't matter what economic background they come from, kids are kids and will torment other kids just because they can and nothing we as grown ups can do about that one fact.

These are just random rantings/thoughts bouncing off my skull.

Now I'm exhausted.