Luke, I Am Your Father

No Laughing Matter

2009-11-23T20:15:00.000-08:00

Seattledad: “Hi I’m James and, uh,… I'm a Laugh-Aholic”

All: “Hiiii James”

Seattledad: “ Well, I guess it's been a tough week for me. Unfortunately, I had a minor relapse”

All: “Ohhhhhh” (disbursed mumblings and quiet whispers back and forth)

Seattledad: “Yeah, everything has been going so well recently too, what with all the long hours spent on remodeling. And the money…yeah the stress that finances add to a situation, coupled with my recent bout with a persistent virus have really kept my recovery ON track. I seemed to be doing so well. So well (fading).

Face in the crowd: “What Happened, Man! Tell us what happened”

Seattledad: “Well, my 2 year old was sitting on the potty yesterday...”

Voice from the back: “Not the potty! Curse those things. You gotta be strong man. Strong.”

Seattledad: “I know, I know. I should’ve seen it coming. He was sitting there, still groggy from naptime and out of habit I sort of exaggerated my stride as I passed the door. Immediately, the kids cracks up.”

Guy in row 5: “You should have extricated yourself right there, Dude!”

Seattledad: “Yes, I should have. But I was too weak. I didn't see it coming. I thought about calling someone, but-no phone. Next thing you know I am passing by the door backwards the other way…and the little guy completely loses it. Loud, exaggerated laughs echoed from the bathroom. Right there guys. Right there I was hooked. I started going back and forth past that door, each time altering my stride or direction in increasingly exaggerated ways. I even did circles till I got dizzy! Sure, I should have found an out. Might have been able to, but I found myself completely lost in the high of the moment."

Face in the Crowd again: "He was on the TOILET fuh crying out loud!"

Seattledad: "And he kept on begging me for MORE! Calling out ‘More Daddy, more!’ and ‘You’re silwi daddy’." (wiping at eyes). "Sorry, I get emotional thinking of it."

Moderator: “That is enough for today James. And don’t let it get to you big guy. Yes, you messed up alright, but that is what we are here for. To get you through these tough times.”

All: “Yeah! Uh, Huh! Word!” (strong looks of support)

Seattledad: “Thanks. That’s why I love you guys. (Looking away, fist clenched, arm in L shape).

All: (Applause)

About Face

2009-11-22T20:18:00.000-08:00

I got another one of those emails yesterday. Someone wants to be my 'friend' on Facebook. Let me tell you, for someone who often complains at home about the fact that I don't have many friends, I certainly have enough people who want to befriend me online.

This is a good thing right? Well, not necessarily. For me at least. You see, I am nearly maxed out on the time that I can give to my social networking applications. In fact, I only created a Facebook account because I wanted to see if I could locate a friend of mine from kindergarten. Make that my best friend from kindergarten who moved away just after we started 1st grade. Nick Fringle (Not sure that is the correct spelling). I remember him telling me he was moving to Hillsboro, Oregon. Then I never heard from or of him again. That was something like 36 years ago.

So, I created the Facebook account. Searched for my little buddy Nick. And came up with nothing. Nada. Zilch. It was a big disappointment. I have since spent little to no time on Facebook. The fact is, since I created my Twitter account, the time I have devoted to this blog has suffered. And since I created my blog, the time I have devoted to my family has suffered. And since I created my family, the time I have devoted to myself has suffered.

You get the picture. Devoting another chunk of my already dwindling 'free time' to yet another social networking application would be just too much for me to shoulder, lest I begin to seriously neglect something more important in my life.

So, I guess my question is: Facebook or Twitter? Do you have a preference? Do you do both? How much time do you spend on each, as opposed to blogging? It seems to me that Facebook is used by many more non-blogger types, ie friends and family from real life. (My parents even have an account!) While with Twitter I feel that I can create more of a relationship with interesting folks who are, for the most part, like minded.

In the end, it is one or the other for me, because unless I give up networking on Twitter, or worse yet something else more important like sleeping or spending time with my wife and son, I simply don't have time to be your Facebook Friend.

But, if you're in Seattle anytime soon give me a call. Maybe we can grab a beer and catch up.

My 1st Kiss & A Bowl of Hot Random to Go.

2009-11-19T12:00:00.000-08:00

Lady Mama tagged me with the following Meme. It has been quite a while since I did one of these, plus I really like her blog, plus I am home pathetically sick with little else to amuse me besides the sound of construction in my basement, so I decided to give it a go.

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you. My former boss. It was awwwkward.

2. Where was your first kiss? Oh yeah. In my bedroom. I am pretty sure it was 'Destroyer'.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else's property? Not that I can remember.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? I am proud to say NO.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Does mumbling the hymns in church as a child count?

6. What's the first thing you notice about your preferred sex? Uh...her smile. Yeah, er...her smile. Was that convincing?

7. What really turns you off? Women with too much makeup.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Grande Americano (2 pumps mint, 2 pumps mocha, w/room)

9. What is your biggest mistake? Not having kids earlier. This is a blast.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? Does home remodeling count?

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I once entered a frog in a hopping contest when I was deeese big (Palm down by my hip.)

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? Funny you should ask... http://liayf.blogspot.com/2008/08/personally-i-dont-see-it.html

13. Do you still watch kiddie movies or TV shows? Only a couple episodes of Elmo with my boy.

14. Did you have braces? No.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Well, if I was 6 inches taller, studies say I woud have a lot more spending money about now.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? When we met Mrs. LIAYF was completely broke, but still brought groceries over and stocked my fridge. I asked her to stick around.

17. When do you know it's love? When you can remodel a house together without plotting your partner's untimely demise, it's love.

18. Do you speak any other languages? I'm getting skilled at deciphering toddler babble.

19. Have you ever been to tanning salon? Yes. (I grew up in Washington State. And we are as white as falling snow by the time Spring rolls around). It has been years though.

20. Have you ever ridden in a limo? No. But I REALLY want to do that thing where I stand through the moon roof with my arms outstretched as we drive through Time Square. Perhaps someday.

21. What's something that really annoys you? Boy Bands.

22. What's something you really like? Me lady. And me boy.

23. Can you dance? Once my wife stops hysterically laughing at the thought, then I will ask her opinion.

24. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? No, thankfully.

25. Tag 5 people! Hmmm, let's see. Who might actually do this? How about:

Steve @ Myboys3
Karen @ If I could escape
Migthy M @ The Mighty M Family
Matt @ DC Urban Dad
Eric @ Juggling Eric

Faint of Head

2009-11-17T13:25:00.000-08:00

Things were never like this before. The only explanation I can come up with is that I may be going soft in my old age.

Before the birth of my son a couple of years ago, I had a extremely strong composition. I was born, raised, and spent my early adulthood on our family dairy farm in the southwestern part of Washington state. I worked hard, slept little, and witnessed more than my share of what could be called gruesome things. Whether it involved animal or human, there were many times where I watched blood, including my own, being spilled during those years. Enough blood and gore, in fact, that I became accustomed to witnessing it, and though it always bothered me to a degree, it did little to affect my psyche.

However, those days are fading into the rearview mirror for me now. Nearly 10 years have since gone by. And the pendulum that is my composition, my make-up, my ability to deal with such circumstances, seems to have swung the other way along with the passing of time.

The first clue that this shift was taking place came in the hospital after the birth of Lukas. I had just accompanied Mrs. LIAYF through a difficult 80 hour labor. We were both dead tired, but the time had come to make the decision on circumcision. Mrs. LIAYF left it up to me, but only requested that if I decided to have it done, that I be there with him. So I did. It was a new and painful experience seeing my baby boy laying there helpless and in such pain.

In the end it became too much. I felt light headed and the next thing I remember was looking at the spinning shoes around my head, of the doctor and nurse. They set me in a chair, and we all had a long, genuine laugh at my expense.

However, it didn’t end there. I had knee surgery later that same Summer, and as I was being prepped for the procedure, out came the needle. I had not slept at all the night before. My head started spinning, and again down I went. This time it was not as humorous as the last time. Though still worthy of a few laughs.

Fast forward to last week, when I went in to get a seasonal flu shot. I again had not been sleeping well. I was escorted around to sit on a bed. Out came the smallish needle. I felt light headed once again. Had a sense of what was coming. But this time I stopped the nurse. Told him that I needed to lie down and was allowed to. After a few minutes of laying there regaining my sense of normal, I got up and left. Without fainting. And without laughing about it either.

What bothers me now is that I may not be able to respond appropriately when and if that day comes where my child is hurt and bleeding in front of me. I'm not sure what has brought these recent fainting episodes. Though, they didn’t begin to happen until after I became a father at nearly 40 years old. Correlation? Have any of you experienced anything similar?

I guess they weren't kidding when they said 'Everything changes after you have a child.'

Photo by ZaldyImg's

Floundering Father

2009-11-15T22:28:00.000-08:00

"These are the times that try men's souls."

Ok, ok . Fair enough. Those are not my words. Thomas Paine, in fact, penned those words, in reference to struggles of a newly declared independent nation against the treachery of a dastardly and oppressive invader from foreign soil, right after the birth of our nation in late 1776.

I looked it up to refresh my memory, so I figure I am at least as smart as a 5th grader.

As for the quote, I find relevance in those words even to this day. Perhaps it's just that I am battling a rather dastardly and oppresive bug which is making me feel as if my throat was given the once over by an angry drunk with a belt sander. Or it could be that we are going through some fairly substantial life changes here at Casa de LIAYF resulting in late nights, long weekends, no down-time, and plenty of Thanksgiving sized helpings of mental stress being served up over said change.

However, as the Black Knight would say "That? That's just a flesh wound!"

No what really got to me today (aside from the rude, middle aged grocery checker ironically enough named Darwin) was witnessing Lukas go from his shiny, happy normal self to sick little boy in a matter of minutes.

He had mentioned his stomach hurt a couple of times earlier in the day, but then went about business as usual laughing, smiling and being his goofy self. Then it was "Mommy, pick me up!" And as he ran for her he inexplicably veered off in a near perfect 90 degree angle towards me, arms still outstretched. I obliged and picked him up only to be immediately rewarded with a projectile vomit shower. It appears that 1 out of 1 kid in this house prefers to puke on daddy, at least the first time. Mrs. LIAYF was christened three times this evening after the initial incident.
The poor little guy didn't stop until he was all emptied out and asking to be put to bed, which, after calling the consulting nurse and also verifying his fever was not too high, we did.

In his 28 months this was the very first such vomiting episode for our son. I think that after a good nights sleep, he will be feeling much better. However, this was a tough thing to witness for this dad. You never like to see your kids sick, but this whole stomach flu thing is just disturbing in a whole NEW way for us.

No, I'm not a Founding Father. Just a father who has found another reason to worry.

Wordless Wednesday: 'You Asked for More' Edition

2009-11-11T06:00:00.000-08:00

The Hardy Boys

2009-11-06T20:44:00.000-08:00

The promise came from Mrs. LIAYF. It was more of a bribe really.

"Lukas, eat all of your dinner and I'll give you a surprise". "I want a tattoo!" was his reply. Fair enough. It was a deal.

And at that, the remainder of our 2-year-olds Friday night pizza was devoured without delay, followed by his mother bringing over a basket, filled with skin art booklets toddler dreams are made of. Sharks, Pirates, Trucks, and Firemen to name a few.

Sticking with his recent fascination, Lukas choose a large firetruck to adorn his forearm. A wet washcloth and 30 seconds later and he was grinning from ear to ear. Then, apparently wanting to share his new found happiness with his old man, he declared "Daddy needs one too!"

Not wanting to disappoint our little guy, I agreed to get my very own 'Tat' . I was very excited since, truth be told in my 42 years I have never made the commitment to get a tattoo. I have toyed with the idea of getting some cool symbol which fostered my individuality, but the time just never seemed right. I had resigned myself to the reality that my opportunity had passed.

But now I had lost myself in the revelry of the moment, visualizing what tattoo I would get to complete the father/son bonding ritual we were about the share. Perhaps a Sun for my calf, or Da Vinci's Man in Balance on my shoulder, or even a string of barbed wire abound by bicep. I would definitely be increasing my cool factor immensely.

"Dat one" Lukas then called out, startling me out of my daydream and preempting my very own choice. Not exactly what I had in mind, but I had no say in the matter. And so it was.

I'm guessing I won't be taking the extra effort to roll up my sleeves and show off my 'Gun' adorned with this Tat...

But at least we compliment each other. And what chic doesn't dig a guy with a Dalmatian?

The Darndest Things

2009-11-03T18:26:00.000-08:00

Humorous things often come from the mouth of a 2-year-old. Thought I'd share a few recent quips from ours:

"Man were Choo-Choo Train, Daddy!"

(After hearing a Pavarotti clip on the radio this morning. Opera/Train Whistle. I make that same mistake all the time.)

"That's Grandma Woo!"

(Looking at an old HS Basketball photo and pointing at a team mate of mine. Er...not quite son. Note the Adams Apple.)

"You almost too cool, daddy!"

(I grinned at this one…that is until he repeated it and amended 'cool' to 'school')

"Well…we did not go under it."

(Duh! After being asked if he went over the bridge that morning)

-
"I saw a cwown yesterday!!"

(At the Sunday Farmer’s market. I kinda hoped he would forget about that. It was a seriously creepy looking clown.)

-
"You siwii Daaaddy!" (laughing)

(While acting goofy together last night. Pure fun.)

"One square for pee-pee Daddy!"

(Behind me while finishing my #1 business. Note to self: Must teach that boy to shake!)

"Cover me up. Cover me up Mommy!"

(3:30 AM last night. Followed by several pointed pokes in my back from Mrs. LIAYF...Ugh! He should have just asked for me in the first place.)

And Finally...

"Kiss it!"

(After bending over naked and telling us his bummy was hurting.)

A Real Treat

2009-11-01T21:41:00.000-08:00

This year was the real deal. Lukas' first Halloween Trick-or-Treating. Yes, we did take him around the block when he was four months old but that was more to show him off in his cute penguin costume.

Then last year we discovered what real Halloween horror was as our son was admitted to Seattle Children's Hospital with a serious staff infection. We were quarantined in our room for 36 hours over the holiday while the hospital confirmed the infection was not MRSA. It was the scariest Halloween Mrs. LIAYF and I ever experienced.

Saturday night, however, was simply pure fun. Lukas was dressed to the nines as a Firechief and after an afternoon party we pulled onto our block to the flashing lights of local 'Engine 31' responding to an emergency call a few houses down. We walked up to take a closer look, then 4 firefighters came out to load back into the truck and one of them came over with a huge smile and handed Lukas an official Firefighter sticker, calling him "Chief". Then as Engine 31 pulled away, all 4 firefighters waved at him enthusiastically and honked the truck horn as they passed. He beamed.

Next it was off to the houses for his first taste of trick-or-treating . We explained the concept to him - "You knock on the door and say 'Trick-or-Treat' and the family will give you a surprise" - however, we were not sure what he would make of it since he has NEVER had any candy. In fact, after grabbing a tootsie roll from one house he enthusiastically pronounced "Look, a brown stick!"

It didn't matter though, as Lukas was having a blast just visiting strange houses, most often yelling "TRICK-OR-TREAT!" as we approached a door. Then when it opened making a quick dash inside past the surprised occupant, leaving Mrs. LIAYF or I to sheepishly chase after him into the person's home. It was ok however, as we were always let off with a smile and a laugh. Especially after we explained our 'Family' costume - Fireman, Kitty (Mrs. LIAYF), and Tree (Me covered in autumn leaves).

All in all it was pure fun for all of us, and a much needed break from the hectic hours we have been putting in evenings and weekends.

We already can't wait for next year!
-

P.S. The foil wrapped chocolate eyeballs were also met with disappointment as he tried to bounce them but they just thudded on the floor.

A Case of the Happy's

2009-10-31T06:02:00.000-07:00

Happy! Happy!

Yes, it's Halloween and we all have good reason to dress up, eat candy, and scare the crap out of people. However, here at Casa LIAYF we have even more reason to spread the cheer, smile, eat cake, sing, and most of all be happy.

It's Mrs. LIAYF's Birthday!

I would like to say I have some great surprise planned. That she will be getting more than a small birthday bag full of gifts and this ~~lame~~ heartfelt post. (Yes, that is the same image I used on last year's Halloween birthday post).

But in reality both of us have been putting all of our resources into our basement remodel project recently (tired of hearing about it yet?). And it is a project that, when done, will be a true gift to her. She knows and understands this.

So, here is a Happy Halloween to you all. Be safe when taking the little ones around the neighborhood. But most of all, Happy Birthday to my wonderful wife. Sweets, next year we will have a big party at our house.

I promise.

Wordless Wednesday: Rejected Costume Edition

2009-10-28T13:05:00.001-07:00

Chalk (H1N)One up for Team LIAYF

2009-10-27T06:03:00.000-07:00

A co-worker mentioned it Monday morning during a meeting. The H1N1 Swine Flu vaccine had finally arrived at the HMO we share, and her husband was in at 8:00 AM sharp to get their kids vaccinated. However, word was that the limited supply wouldn't last long. Perhaps only through the day.

I had been anticipating the arrival, but was still unsure what I would do about it. My uncertainty had nothing to do with the risk of the vaccine. Mrs. LIAYF and I had done the research and decided that the risk of Lukas contracting the virus at his daycare was greater than the risks associated with the vaccine. No, my concern lie with the fact that he is only 28 months old, just over the cutoff age for the mist, which was the only form of the vaccine available. We had serious questions of whether he would be able to successfully inhale it through his nose. A nose that was also runny.

I called and consulted with the injection room and was told "Not to bother". He needed to be congestion free. End of subject.

However, I thought about this all day. There are 18 toddlers in close proximity in Lukas' daycare room. Once one of them got H1N1, then the rest would soon have it. If I had the chance to get my son the vaccine now, then I owed it to him to at least try. So I picked him up after work and drove the 10 blocks to our clinic, arriving just past 5:00. As I approached the clinic, 2 year old in my arms, I was told "We are closed!"

I needed more information about future availability, so still holding Lukas I attempted to flag someone down for information. All the nurses were finishing up with the last of the people and paid us no attention. I waited. Finally, a woman came over and I asked if the mist would still be available in the morning and would it work for Lukas. "Can he breath in through his nose?". "I believe so. Lukas, breath in through your nose" He just buried his head in my shoulder. I let them know that he had done this outside before entering. Dubious looks ensued. "He is too young. You will just have to wait for the shot in a couple weeks" was her verdict.

At that point I took him outside the glass doors and set him down. "Can you breath in for daddy like a bunny?" I said, sucking in through my nose. He did a huge inhale, followed by a laugh. "Very good, Buddy!" I glanced up to see the nurse looking at us. I motioned toward my nose that he was doing it. She reluctantly opened the door and said. "Let's give it a try". We used the bunny trick (suggested earlier by the same co-worker) and he successfully took all the vaccine, then flashed a big "I did it" smile. I was proud of him.

"Lucky you", said the nurse. "There were only 2 doses left in our supply."

I don't know yet about 'Lucky'. No one really ever knows how their child will react to a new vaccine. All we can do is weigh the various risk factors and make the best decision given the information available.

Then hope it is the the right one.

Full Stream Ahead

2009-10-24T15:00:00.000-07:00

So, as I was mentioning in my Underwear Power post, we have been going full steam ahead with the potty training, having Lukas wear his tighty whiteys at all times not involving sleep. It had been going swimmingly for the first week and a half or so.

Until a couple of days ago.

Now rather, things are more like full stream ahead. We're not sure what changed with our little guy at that point, but since that time he seems to have lost interest in the whole Underwear Power concept. Instead, he seems to not really care much if he has an 'accident', letting things flow as they will while continuing to do whatever it was he was involved in, wet and or dirty. There appears to be no embarrassment factor. No uncomfortable moments for him. No desire to hold it in.

After 4, count em 1,2,3,4 accidents today, we have had to sit Lukas down and have a serious talk about the possibility that he will need to start wearing the dreaded diapers again. He didn't like the idea. He cried some real, as well as some crocodile tears at the idea, whining that he wants to "keep wearing" his underwear.

Perhaps that will make the difference here. We don't know. We really don't want to put him back into diapers at this point, so we are hoping that the threat of it has the desired effect.

Conversely, there is one other alternative that presented itself tonight. Shame.

Alright, alright, before you judge me on this hear me out. I am not talking about making Lukas feel ashamed about not being able to hold his bladder. No, that would be a bit uncalled for wouldn't it.

Rather, I think I am just going to show him this picture several times a day.

It's a picture of the pants he was sent home in from daycare today. The 'institutional' pants they keep on hand when a child soils all the clothes he has on hand at the center. Yep, those are pinkish corduroy 'pants'. Somehow I think these beauties may just work in our favor.

At the very least they will make Mrs. LIAYF and I motivated to keep him on schedule.

My Master Plan

2009-10-21T13:00:00.000-07:00

I’ve heard a few references recently where people were referred to as ‘Puzzle Master’. Now, I don’t doubt that these folks are amazing at solving puzzles slightly more complicated than ‘which microbrew goes well with Pepperoni as opposed to Hawaiian’, but I wonder who decided that we, the general public, should now refer to these folks using the Master suffix?

Well, what ever the reason, every time I hear such a reference I find myself thinking “Wow, Puzzle Master. That sounds cool”. And you know why? Because they are being openly labeled a Master. And who doesn’t respect a title like that?

This got me thinking. Thinking about how I too would love to be referred to using the Master suffix. True, I don’t do complicated puzzles. But, there must be something I’m good enough at that would allow me to be labeled Master.

Brainstorming, I came up with a few ideas off the top of my head. How would these sound? “Today we chat with….”

1. Coffee guzzling Master SeattleDad

2. Mumbling kid songs to 2 year old because he can't remember the words Master SeattleDad

3. Cleaning up ‘scattered everywhere’ toys Master SeattleDad.

4. Piling washed dishes on top of already dry dishes in the drainer Master SeattleDad

5. Shrinking wife’s favorite clothes in the dryer Master SeattleDad

6. Stepping his socks directly in cat vomit at the bottom of the stairs first thing in the morning Master SeattleDad

7. Frantically searching the house for his one set of car keys so he won’t be too late for an important meeting Master SeattleDad

8. Burning the candle at both ends until the hot wax singes vital body parts Master SeattleDad

9. Overspending on gifts for spouse because he orders online at the last minute Master SeattleDad

10. Avoiding fostering male friendships, to spend more time with wife and son Master SeattleDad

Those all sound great. But mostly, I just aspire to one label: “Today we chat with Fathering Master, SeattleDad.”

I’m certainly not there yet, but I’m working on it.

It's Getting Warm Around Here

2009-10-19T13:00:00.000-07:00

A guy dies and when he realizes he has passed away a panic starts to set in. This is because, not surprisingly to him, instead of being transported to the heavens, his journey is down to the fiery depths of Hell. When he finally gets to the bottom of the Hellscalator he is greeted by a hideous demon who snarls at him a welcome to hell, and lets him know he has to choose between one of the three doors in front of him to spend his miserable eternity.

So, the guy reluctantly decides to take a look behind door #1. What he sees terrifies him! A whole group of bedraggled looking souls wrapped in chains, flames shooting up all around them, swinging sledge hammers, trying to chip away at boulders. He decides that the other doors must be better than this and indicates to the demon that he wants to move on.

Then, slowly, door #2 is opened and the guy realizes that door #1 wasn’t all that bad after all. The scene was similar to door #1 with the fire, and chains, and sledgehammers, only behind this door those same bedraggled souls were constantly being poked in the midsection with sharp pointed spears by demons who were laughing uncontrollably. A bit freaked out, the man quickly decides to move to door #3.

Terrified, and unsure what he would find behind door #3 the guy has his eyes closed tight when he hears the sound of pleasant music and chatter. He opens his eyes to find that behind door #3 there are also a bunch of bedraggled looking souls, standing knee deep in reeking putrid sewage… but they are chatting with each other and sipping coffee. The smell was enough to turn his stomach, but the man was no fool, and he quickly recognized that this was his best option. “I’ll take door #3” he told the demon. The door closed behind him with a crash._
-
It was at that point a crackle came over the speaker system as flames began to fill the room and demons with spears arrived. “All right guys, this is the Devil and you know the drill. Coffee break is OVER. Now get back on your heads!”

Sadly, my coffee break of a weekend is over too, and I need to get back to spending nearly every free moment I have (including evenings) on my basement remodel if we hope to EVER get it completed, much less on time. I’ll still be around, just not as visible.

And if, by chance, you never hear from me again...please remember my plight before trying to do any sizable portion of a remodeling project for yourself, especially with a toddler in the house.

Underwear Power!

2009-10-14T20:51:00.001-07:00

If I had a super power, I would choose Flying.

Wouldn't that be sweet? I could strap Lukas in a backpack carrier and leave the house maybe 5 or 10 minutes before I had to have him at daycare in order to get to work on time, bypassing all the irritating commuters out there who haven't a clue how to drive when the sun comes out, or when it rains...or when it snows for that matter.

I would just have to work out a few of those minor details, such as how high to go without freezing my child, would Lukas sitting in the carrier get tangled in my cape, would I even need to wear a cape to achieve flight (I'm assuming the answer is yes), and mapping a route around air traffic and phone wires. I could go on, but you get my point. You have pondered these very things yourself, right?

On the other hand, maybe Invisibility would be be better. Or Super Strength - strength like The $6 Million Man had (who, adjusted for inflation would be valued at, what, several hundred million or so in today's dollars?). Maybe you can tell that I'm a bit out of date with the whole super powers debate. I have no excuse, other than that 40 is now in my rear view mirror and I have a toddler.

Now Lukas, on the other hand, is only 2 but he knows what power he now possesses. Underwear Power. We have been going full steam ahead with the whole potty training bit recently, making sure that he sits or stands and does his business on a regular basis. He has progressed nicely. Then the other day at school one of his little buddies proclaimed that he had Underwear Power, and Lukas had to possess it too. Apparently the whole peer pressure thing is alive and well in the toddler room.

So, Mrs. LIAYF and I started having Lukas wear underwear to school starting Monday. And the force has proven to be strong with this one, as he had no accidents at school thus far. (I think they are a bit more rigid than we are with scheduled pit stops, as we forgot to have him go at home this evening and an accident ensued. Two to be precise. Our bad). Overall, it is an impressive step ahead in the whole training process. And we are proud of him.

As for me, I would still choose Flying as my super power.

I'll save Underwear Power for when I am a bit older and really need it.

Like Peanut Butter and Chocolate

2009-10-13T05:00:00.000-07:00

Some things are just better when brought together.

Enjoy!

Big Harry Spider

2009-10-11T08:22:00.000-07:00

I received an email from Lukas' daycare on Friday. It indicated that the following week (starting Monday) was 'Spider Week.' Apparently, during Spider Week, all the toddlers are supposed to bring a spider from home. The toddlers will observe them throughout the week until Friday, when they have a release party.

When I stopped by to pick up Lukas Friday afternoon I asked his care provider about the project. With a big smile she picked up and showed me the 'habitat' where the 18 different spiders would spend the week.

It was just a big jar.

At that point the thought immediately occurred to me, and I suspect you may be thinking along the same lines, that we need to find Lukas a Big Ass spider because it is going to be something akin to Survivor: Spider Island in there.

I confirmed from the teacher that "Well, we did only actually release a couple last year by the time the end of the week came around." Ya think? Because unless they are making a side trip to Petco to pick up some Spider Chow, the littler ones are going to be looking mighty tasty by Wednesday or so.

So, during all the remodeling and yard work this weekend my goal was to find an appropriate arachnid candidate. I needed Lukas to have a ringer, lest he be watching as another kid's spider chomps off the head of his spider and does a happy cannibal dance around the jar. The horror!

What seemed the perfect candidate (out in our garage) nearly knocked me off a precariously stacked pile of our basement belongings. I was perched atop it looking for the right board for one of the ten thousand project we are working on when the ginormous sucker jumped right out at me, sending me back and off balance. I recovered nicely but he quickly hid away, apparently waiting for his next victim. I decided this particular spider was a bit too dangerous even for me.

Then, later as we were doing yard work, Mrs. LIAYF found our Goliath sitting right there on our yard waste container soaking up the sun. I ran inside, grabbed a jar, and poked holes in the lid so the big guy could breath and we had ourselves a survivor. At least we hope so, since I would feel kinda bad if he doesn't make it to the end of Spider Week.

All that was left was for Lukas to give his spider an appropriate moniker. I was hoping he would go for something befitting a warrior. Like Maximus, or Atilla, or something equally fear inducing. But in the end he opted for a name more befitting the spider of a two-year-old.

"Lukas what do you want to name your spider?"

"Harry, Daddy."

Sounds menacing. I'll let you know how it turns out.

Random Tuesday Thoughts: Late Edition

2009-10-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

Our basement remodel is wearing on us. Seriously, for all the work we are having contractors do, it seems like Mrs. LIAYF and I have also been going nearly non stop for the past 3 months with very little down time. It's getting late here, and I should be downstairs doing more painting right now, but can't bring myself to do it tonight so I am writing this post instead.

We bought a new laptop recently and the default browser search engine is Bing. Sorry Microsoft, but if this is what you are banking on to get market share from Google you may want to go back to the drawing board.

I have been eating popcorn rather than ice cream in the evening recently to try to cut back on my amount of sugar intake. Now if I could only eliminate my afternoon Mocha, I might actually start feeling better. Baby steps self. Baby steps.

Speaking of afternoon coffee, I took the Starbucks Via taste test the other day. I couldn't believe how easy it was to identify the instant. I killed. No, it's not Folgers, Sanka, or Kava, but come on, it's still instant for crying out loud.

Back to painting. Because I just can't get enough of the subject. I painted for 12 hours on Saturday. Let me rephrase that: I primed new drywall for 12 hours. One roller pass and all the primer would be sucked right off the roller. My hand was like a hideous claw by the time I was done. I really should have taken the drywall contractors advice and rented a sprayer. Instead, I was all "I can paint a room in a couple of hours and save the 60 bucks" stupid. Yes, stupid.

Lukas and Venus are finally reunited on a daily basis now that he is in the toddler room and she is back from Summer vacation. He better watch out though as she may just be the jealous type. I dropped our son off at the daycare the other morning and the mother of another little girl in his room was telling me how her daughter talked about Lukas all weekend long. It was at that point that Venus pushed her way in the middle of them and gave Lukas a long welcome embrace. I smell trouble.
-

(Gooooooooooaaaaaaaaallllllllll)

Courtesy of Mrs. LIAYF I have been taking Lukas to Daddy and me Soccer the past two Saturday mornings. It's only 30 minutes long, but a good format to introduce him to organized sports, which I expect he will be participating in for the next 30 to 40 years. For the record, he is probably the youngest of the 15 or so kids there but he took right to it. He even got to kick the ball in the goal to end the practice. It was a lot of fun.

And Finally, courtesy of my being old and apparently hard to buy for, I find myself in possession of some Barnes and Noble gift certificates (which I appreciate). I have never read a graphic novel, but would like to get one. Anyone have a recommendation of a good one? Just one caveat: I am not into Super Hero stories.

Thanks in advance.

We Have an F-ing Issue

2009-10-01T13:32:00.000-07:00

I was pretty amazed yesterday afternoon while picking up Lukas from daycare when, as I walked through the door, our son's best little friend declared something to the effect of "It's Lukas' daddy, come to take him home".

Now, Lukas has a lot of word and strings them together into pretty complex sentences for a 27 month old, but his friend, who I have never heard say more than a word or two at a time (as opposed to Lukas' constant dialog), said this sentence with such clarity that I had to do a double take. He sounded like he was 5 years old. Very impressive.

At home later that night I relayed this revelation to Mrs. LIAYF, who had heard the boy say something very similar a couple days earlier. She was equally impressed. Then, as we listened to Lukas, it dawned on me (since I hadn't really thought twice about it) that, like a lot of kids his age, has trouble with his F's. He was replacing them with B's. Henceforth, a fox becomes a box in Lukas toddler speak.

This is very cute, but realizing that he may need some assistance getting his enunciation of F correct, Mrs. LIAYF decided to try a little experiment with him as we were getting him ready for bed:

"Lukas, can you say flower?"

"Bower"

"No, say Fffflower"

"Bower"

"Can you say, friend?

"Briend, Mommy"

"No, friend with an F. Ffff-riend"

"Briend"

"Hmmm, Lukas can you say F?"

"Eff"

"Exactly! Now say F-friend"

"Eff briend"

"No, F like in father. F-father. Can you say that?"

"Eff Bother" (I'm not reading anything into that)

"F-F-F-father"

"Bother"

"Lukas, you are just adorable! And perfect in every way. Ready for bed Sweetie?"

"Yeah"

The Sweater

2009-09-29T13:28:00.000-07:00

With cooler Fall temperatures making their appearance here in Seattle, I didn't think twice when I came across a comfortable looking sweater, priced to sell, at a local used clothing store. I made my purchase happy to have gotten a good deal, but didn't give it much more thought.

That is, until I had washed it and slipped it on a couple of nights ago to warm up for the evening after putting Lukas to bed.
.

As I came downstairs, Mrs. LIAYF greeted me with a smile and a laugh, then said:

"Well, at least now we know where Waldo is!"

If anyone is looking for me I'll be, ahem, hiding out somewhere here in Seattle. With my comfortable sweater.

Sweet Spot

2009-09-25T20:32:00.000-07:00

Does parenting have a Sweet Spot?

If so, I think I have entered it. Terrible 2's? What is so terrible about them? Actually, Lukas is at a stage of development that is abundant with wonderful moments. Fun moments. Happy moments. Moments that warm the cockles of my heart.

No, I don't know what cockles are, but mine are toasty folks.

Could that spot occupy this age, this stage in a child's development? The stage when they can talk to you in a sweet little voice - smiling wide and giving you gems such as "I love you, daddy!" or "Sit down and play with me, daddy" all with genuine heartfelt emotion.

Before they ever even think of saying things such as "I hate you!" or "You're mean" or "I hope you die!"?

When you mean the world to them almost as much as they mean it to you?

When practically everything they do is just so darn adorable, that even those frustrating moments where you have every right to be upset, you just can't bring yourself to be?

Well, that my friends. That is the spot I find myself in right now.

And it sure is Sweet.

Pearl Jam Puts out Kids Album

2009-09-24T06:00:00.000-07:00

A new Pearl Jam tape, album, disc, download, - whatever we are calling it these days, is a big deal in my hometown. After all they are Seattle boys (if you can still call 40 something men boys) who made it big. At EasyStreet Records, my local independent record store, there was even a midnight release party for Backspacer with an overflow location. Not opting to get a sitter, we waited patiently till Sunday to drop by EasyStreet, where my final birthday gift awaited me. Oh, how things have changed.

As for the album, I am really enjoying it. I mean REALLY. I have to admit I have been a huge fan since their inception. Mrs. LIAYF even had partial lyrics to Smile ingraved on the inside of my wedding ring ("Don't it make you smile"). Yes, this album was eagerly anticipated, and it didn't disappoint. The songs range from energetic and catchy (Gonna See my Friend) to soulful and beautiful (Just Breath).

I usually forgo listening to the radio or music on our drive to daycare, but this morning I couldn't help myself and slipped in the disc and hit the play button. Upon hearing the opening riff of gonna see my friend, Lukas smiled widely and proclaimed "Guitar!". I beamed, and asked him if he liked the music. His head nodded up and down with emphasis, but before the next song ended we had arrived at our destination.

On the way home, I turned up the music early on and let him listen. Looking in the rear view mirror I could tell he was liking what he was hearing. All smiles. As the song ended, Lukas let out a big "Yeah!" and clapped. Then he softly opined "It is nice moosic, daddy."

Some things, it seems, are inherently genetic.

Wordless Wednesday: Today's Lesson

2009-09-23T06:00:00.000-07:00

Scare Tactics

2009-09-21T12:52:00.000-07:00

Thankfully, during his first two years of life, Lukas has not developed many fears. Actually, I am not sure I could name more than one or two things that he has shown genuine fear of.

So, it surprised us yesterday afternoon when, having let Lukas watch an episode of Elmo's World for the first time in nearly a month, a distinctly frightened cry came from our living room. Mrs. LIAYF and I rounded the corner from the kitchen immediately to see Lukas sitting there in his little chair with an utter look of horror on his face. "Turn it off! Turn it off!" he cried.

It seems that, in this particular episode of the show, titled Hair, Elmo dons a wig of long braided hair. Not a particularly scary story line to be sure. Well, everything was fine up until the point when the little red guy decided to pull the wig off, holding it out in his furry little hand.

It must have seemed like he was pulling his head apart -or something equally disturbing, since it really freaked Lukas out. "It's ok Sweetie. It's only a wig. Kind of like all the funny hats you wear during dress up" Mrs. LIAYF assured him. He didn't seem convinced. Eventually though, he calmed down and we put on a different episode. But it was a pretty bizarre event based on what we have come to expect from our son.

As for me, there are only a couple of things I can remember that really scared me as a young child. One was the Maurice Sendak book Where the Wild Things Are. I'm not sure how old I was at the time, but I distinctly remember being deathly afraid of those jagged tooth creatures that roamed in the dark woods, presumably waiting for a tasty child to eat. A coincidence that the movie version comes out close to Halloween? I think not.

The other thing, and I know you will understand this one, was the Brady Bunch episode where Bobby has a dream that a UFO lands in their back yard and two little red headed aliens visit him in his room. I can remember staring at my window scared stiff for several nights in a row after that episode wondering when those frightening creatures were going to show up and cart me away. But I am sure that was a common fear for kids my age. No? Really? Did I mention how their hair was red?

Tell me readers, what scared the bejeezus out of you as a child?